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Introduction to The Female Dating Strategy
70 Plays4 years ago
Mic Check One two, one two...
We discuss our journey to FDS Wisdom and favorite posts so far...
Reaux's Favorite Post:
https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/post/don-t-make-pinocchio-into-a-real-boy
Lilith's Favorite Post:
Savannah's Favorite Post:
https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/post/fucking-ain-t-fair-act-accordingly
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Transcript
Introduction to FDS Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast.
00:00:09
Speaker
I'm your host, Ro.
00:00:10
Speaker
And I'm here with two other lovely hosts.
00:00:12
Speaker
I'm Savannah.
00:00:13
Speaker
What's up, Queens?
00:00:14
Speaker
Hi there.
00:00:15
Speaker
This is Lilith.
00:00:16
Speaker
So we're really excited to be able to finally kick off this podcast.
Origins and Need for Female-Centric Spaces
00:00:19
Speaker
We're going to go into a little bit about the sub history for those of you who are just tuning in and don't know anything about the Female Dating Strategy.
00:00:26
Speaker
And then we're going to go over some of our favorite moments from the Female Dating Strategy subreddit, which is where we started.
00:00:31
Speaker
Sounds good.
00:00:32
Speaker
Sounds good.
00:00:33
Speaker
All right.
00:00:33
Speaker
So brief history of female dating strategy.
00:00:37
Speaker
It was started in 2019 on a little known website named Reddit, which of course is a joke because Reddit's like the sixth or seventh most popular and most visited site in the world.
00:00:48
Speaker
And it was a subreddit called female dating strategy.
00:00:51
Speaker
It was started as part of like an overall movement of a bunch of different female-centric subs that were started in response to the overwhelmingly male patronage of Reddit.
00:01:02
Speaker
Reddit is something like 70%
Challenges of Male-Dominated Platforms
00:01:04
Speaker
men.
00:01:04
Speaker
And so there's a lot of different subreddits and a lot of different topics.
00:01:08
Speaker
But I think over time, a lot of the female users were noticing that even on topics that were supposed to be female-centric, like...
00:01:15
Speaker
Like, I think our feminism, our ask feminist.
00:01:19
Speaker
2X chromosomes.
00:01:20
Speaker
2X chromosomes.
00:01:22
Speaker
All of those big general subs that would talk about female issues would be overrun with men inserting their opinions on stuff that nobody asked them for.
00:01:31
Speaker
Yeah, like, men here, I am here to contribute my valuable male opinion.
00:01:37
Speaker
Or as a guy, that's how it always starts.
00:01:39
Speaker
As a guy, this is what I think when literally nobody asked.
00:01:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:43
Speaker
They always think whatever they have to say in that moment is just deathly important for us to hear.
00:01:47
Speaker
So a lot of users kind of got sick of that because sometimes they would completely just derail the conversation.
00:01:53
Speaker
And even on subs that weren't necessarily female-centric, like our relationship advice or our dating or our sex, a lot of times the male patient age would go in and kind of try to normalize stuff that I think most women would be horrified by.
00:02:09
Speaker
So over time, it just kind of became apparent that people weren't getting the kind of real community with other women that they would want to or getting really good dating advice from other women instead of just men who were basically.
00:02:22
Speaker
The other thing to keep in mind
Creating a Safe Space for Women
00:02:23
Speaker
is like Reddit is one of the biggest, most visited sites, largely because it has a lot of porn.
00:02:28
Speaker
Like a lot of the guys there are there specifically because of that.
00:02:31
Speaker
So then a lot of times, like you're, you're asking a bunch of weirdos and like fetishist relationship advice questions.
00:02:38
Speaker
And they're telling you like, who cares if you're, if your husband likes to look at like my little pony.
00:02:42
Speaker
Snuff porn.
00:02:43
Speaker
We're like, yes, you should sleep with that guy on the first date, and yes, you should let him choke you.
00:02:48
Speaker
Like, there is nothing weird about that at all.
00:02:51
Speaker
But then at the same time, if you give it up too soon and he ghosts you, well, you should have known better.
00:02:55
Speaker
That's generally, you know, the attitude towards women.
00:03:00
Speaker
It's, you know, very much like... Yeah.
00:03:03
Speaker
Well, but remember, not all men are like that.
00:03:05
Speaker
You know, like most guys are good, right?
00:03:07
Speaker
Like, you know, hashtag not all men are like that.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:12
Speaker
The not all men.
00:03:13
Speaker
So even if you were to just say, hey, I'm experiencing this a lot consistently with men.
00:03:18
Speaker
It's like, well, not all men are like that.
00:03:19
Speaker
And it's like, well, no one said all men were like that.
00:03:21
Speaker
People are saying that.
00:03:23
Speaker
A lot of them are.
00:03:24
Speaker
Yeah, a lot of them are.
00:03:25
Speaker
Enough for us to notice, right?
00:03:27
Speaker
And for us to experience on a regular basis.
00:03:30
Speaker
So basically, female dating strategy was kind of like, yeah, screw all these other subs.
00:03:34
Speaker
They don't know what they're talking about.
00:03:36
Speaker
There's too many men.
00:03:36
Speaker
There's too many male voices.
00:03:37
Speaker
So this subreddit was created that was supposed to be...
00:03:41
Speaker
a place where women could go for dating advice that was just no holds barred, unfiltered, completely female centric.
00:03:49
Speaker
And we didn't have to worry about male opinions and we didn't have to worry about like how men felt about anything.
00:03:54
Speaker
We're like, why can't we just worry about ourselves or ones?
00:03:57
Speaker
Right.
00:03:57
Speaker
And a huge, huge shout out to the mods at FDS for, for actually keeping it female centered in the, ever since I've been browsing the sub, which has been for a while now, I have not seen,
00:04:10
Speaker
Apart from that one post where they invited male opinions, but I've not seen a single male opinion, which, you know, given the demographics of Reddit, like, you know, Ro said it's like 70% male.
00:04:22
Speaker
That is very impressive to not see a single male opinion on that subreddit.
00:04:28
Speaker
And they're so obvious when they try to chime in too.
00:04:30
Speaker
That's the funny part.
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:32
Speaker
And they're not very smart about it either because you click on the profile and it's like, I'm a 35-year-old man from Delaware.
00:04:37
Speaker
And it's like, but you're posing as a 20-year-old woman, you know, from India.
00:04:42
Speaker
Like, they're not even smart about it either.
00:04:44
Speaker
Men and women a lot of times are speaking completely different languages.
00:04:48
Speaker
That has been such a shock to learn.
00:04:51
Speaker
But as you just sort of spend more time on the subreddit, it becomes really easy to pick up when it's actually a male, a man trying to LARP as a woman.
00:04:58
Speaker
So that's been kind of a curious thing because now you realize, well, we don't understand each other because quite frankly, our communication styles are distinctively different and it's quite interesting.
Growth and Media Attention
00:05:09
Speaker
Yes.
00:05:11
Speaker
So just kind of moving on and getting back to the topic.
00:05:13
Speaker
Uh,
00:05:14
Speaker
It was a tiny, tiny, tiny little sub at first.
00:05:17
Speaker
I think in the beginning of 2019, it was mostly kind of niche.
00:05:21
Speaker
It was just mostly people who were already interested in the dating strategy thing, like sharing different tips and tricks that they had learned over the years.
00:05:29
Speaker
And people who were really into like the
00:05:30
Speaker
Dating advice books, like I think one of our most often cited books is Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches and other, you know, the rules.
00:05:39
Speaker
And so a lot of it was discussing that kind of stuff as well as our own strategies that we had created.
00:05:44
Speaker
And then there were a couple of posts that went viral on Reddit.
00:05:49
Speaker
I think one of the first ones that went viral on Reddit was about having men pay for dates.
00:05:54
Speaker
And the scrotes on Reddit, they went crazy.
00:05:59
Speaker
They shared it everywhere.
00:06:00
Speaker
They were showing screenshots like, can you believe these insane bitches thinking they should, they're entitled for men to pay for dates.
00:06:09
Speaker
And they kept sharing and sharing and sharing and sharing the material.
00:06:12
Speaker
And so...
00:06:14
Speaker
Interestingly enough, the more they shared it and said how crazy we were and how outrageous our demands were, the more women started visiting the sub, looking around and being like, hmm, actually, this makes a lot of sense, right?
00:06:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:31
Speaker
I don't know if they meant to do that, but basically what we did was we successfully harnessed the power of incels to do our marketing for us.
00:06:39
Speaker
And so being on Reddit was a blessing and a curse because obviously Reddit's an extremely hostile environment, but because it's a hostile environment, there's a lot of foot traffic on our site and a lot of men just read our posts just to get mad and then share it all over the place about how outrageous and horrible we are.
00:06:54
Speaker
And then the audience that it needs to reach is
00:06:57
Speaker
reaches it.
00:06:58
Speaker
So I don't remember exactly when we started getting media coverage, but it was, I think it was summer, like end of 2019, early 2020, when we got picked up by the Wall Street Journal.
Transition to Podcast Format
00:07:10
Speaker
We had mixed reviews.
00:07:12
Speaker
We had some people from The Verge, like kind of make a little bit more of a negative piece on us.
00:07:16
Speaker
We had Mel Magazine, but essentially we were kind of a hit in the media.
00:07:20
Speaker
Like The Atlantic did a little piece on us.
00:07:22
Speaker
They started to kind of read through and be like, this is kind of interesting.
00:07:25
Speaker
Right now, we've been growing exponentially.
00:07:28
Speaker
So this is now the culmination of a lot of work between the users of the subreddit who kind of wanted to hear more content outside of just the posts.
00:07:39
Speaker
We started a website, thefemaledatingstrategy.com.
00:07:42
Speaker
And now we have this podcast so we can talk to you guys more live about a lot of the stuff that's going on the subreddit.
00:07:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:48
Speaker
Awesome.
00:07:49
Speaker
I'm excited.
00:07:51
Speaker
We're kind of hoping this podcast will be a mixture of listening to your girlfriends talk about relationships, but also getting some real hard-hitting pop culture critiques, some strategies to improve your dating life.
00:08:04
Speaker
We're going to talk with researchers, authors, influencers in the dating space.
00:08:08
Speaker
We're going to talk about sex.
00:08:09
Speaker
We're going to talk about love.
00:08:10
Speaker
We're going to talk about how to look for red flags in
Hosts' Personal Journeys with FDS
00:08:13
Speaker
dating.
00:08:13
Speaker
Just
00:08:13
Speaker
all the stuff that you want to know to make your dating life as painless as possible and help you find the kind of man that's going to, you know, make you happy in the relationships that are going to make you happy.
00:08:26
Speaker
So stay tuned.
00:08:27
Speaker
We got a lot of good stuff coming up.
00:08:30
Speaker
Nice.
00:08:32
Speaker
All right, guys.
00:08:32
Speaker
So our first segment here that we're going to do very first segment of the podcast.
00:08:36
Speaker
Yay.
00:08:37
Speaker
Yay.
00:08:39
Speaker
First real segment.
00:08:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:42
Speaker
So just to kick off things and let you guys know a little bit about us as hosts, we're just going to discuss, you know, how we found the subreddit and, you know, what really resonated for us to keep going with it.
00:08:54
Speaker
Awesome.
00:08:55
Speaker
Could I go first?
00:08:56
Speaker
Go for it.
00:08:56
Speaker
Awesome.
00:08:57
Speaker
Well, I've been browsing female dating strategy about a year.
00:09:02
Speaker
At the time I was in a relationship with a pretty low value, pretty, you know, mediocre boyfriend.
00:09:10
Speaker
I remember coming across Female Dating Strategy just randomly on Reddit and clicking on it and realizing that a lot of that stuff really resonated with me.
00:09:19
Speaker
It ended up motivating me to break up with this low-value man that I was in a relationship with.
00:09:25
Speaker
Um, so yeah, me and him broke up and I've just been kind of working on leveling up physically, emotionally, mentally, you know, hitting the gym, getting fit, uh, going to therapy, healing, you know, trauma and bad habits and, and overcoming that kind of thing and, uh, leveling up career wise and, you know, finding ways to make more money, finding ways to be financially independent, um, making plans, um,
00:09:53
Speaker
for life that don't involve a man like you know if I want to have uh you know my own custom dream house I have this whole custom dream house I have to plan to find a way to build that myself and not you know rely on a guy to do that for me so you know I've started writing and then apparently people started liking my posts and uh was invited to become a moderator and you know the rest is history it's been a really really wild and an awesome ride great yeah
00:10:22
Speaker
Cool.
00:10:23
Speaker
I'm happy to go next.
00:10:25
Speaker
So I came across FDS about the tail end of 2019.
00:10:31
Speaker
My three-year situationship was in its death throes by then.
00:10:37
Speaker
But when I came across FDS...
00:10:40
Speaker
That was what prompted me to just fully just hit the block button.
00:10:44
Speaker
So I sort of ghosted my former friends of benefits after that.
00:10:48
Speaker
Because after reading through the subreddit, I just realised that
00:10:53
Speaker
I had nothing more to say to him and I wanted nothing more to do with it or the situation.
00:10:59
Speaker
I think FDS was a space where all of my dating experience, it was almost like it was being played back to me.
00:11:06
Speaker
And I think for me, the most powerful aspect of that was, was the realisation that it wasn't just me, you know, as you know,
00:11:15
Speaker
you know, as women, we're going about our dating lives.
00:11:17
Speaker
It's very easy to believe that all, you know, the bad things that are happening to you are because of you.
00:11:22
Speaker
But when you come across a community of women who have exactly the same experiences as you and you've never met, you're from different cultures, backgrounds, even your looks can be very different.
00:11:35
Speaker
You then start to realise that perhaps the problem is greater than you, that it's actually, you know, societal and structural.
00:11:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:44
Speaker
in terms of the woes of the dating world.
00:11:46
Speaker
So yeah, that was how I came across the subreddit and it's really helped me understand what it is I'm looking for in a relationship.
00:11:55
Speaker
And it's also pushed me to, to level up, you know, just like Lilith said.
00:11:59
Speaker
So in terms of my career, in terms of my, in terms of my mental health, in terms of my physical health as well.
00:12:06
Speaker
So yeah, that's, that's my journey to FDS.
00:12:11
Speaker
Awesome.
00:12:12
Speaker
It's hard to pinpoint an exact moment where I became FDS, but I had been just a long time kind of tired of listening to friends and seeing sad sob stories of women in relationships all over social media and feeling like it's really unfair.
00:12:31
Speaker
It just feels like it's really, really lopsided in the amount of L's.
00:12:35
Speaker
women are constantly taking in their relationship life.
00:12:37
Speaker
And I just kind of felt very strongly.
00:12:38
Speaker
It didn't, it shouldn't have to be this way.
00:12:41
Speaker
There's gotta be a way for women to operate.
00:12:43
Speaker
That's going to be way more advantageous.
00:12:46
Speaker
For me, I was actually raised in the church.
00:12:50
Speaker
So I kind of grew up in a very more patriarchal culture, um,
00:12:53
Speaker
Like, I mean, I was really a church kid, went to church three times a week, went to youth group, went to church on Sunday.
00:12:59
Speaker
And as I became an adult, I kind of realized like, yeah, I'm not about this life.
00:13:04
Speaker
It feels like very unfair, the standards that are applied on women versus how much it is or isn't enforced on men in the church.
00:13:11
Speaker
And so I think I saw that hypocrisy right away for like what it was.
00:13:15
Speaker
As soon as I started moving without my parents, it was like, yeah, I'm chucking deuces to this religion thing.
00:13:19
Speaker
I'm good.
00:13:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:21
Speaker
But I kind of really got into feminism and I started to kind of notice on the feminist side, like a lot of idiosyncrasies and the way that liberal feminists would call empowerment that a lot of times seems like the same kind of male pandering dogma that I would see a lot of times in the church.
00:13:39
Speaker
We kind of talk about this on the subreddit about...
00:13:41
Speaker
pushing kinks as empowerment, pushing sleeping with guys, making guys happy as a way for you to express yourself and be more feminine, you know, feminist if you're like having sex just like men and always having to consider men's needs a lot of times before your own.
00:14:00
Speaker
And it's really interesting to see that so much and so prominently in feminist media and as well as mainstream media.
00:14:07
Speaker
So I think the culmination of clocking these two hypocrisies to me sort of was like somebody out there has got to have something that's really about making women feel like a boss bitch to their core.
00:14:19
Speaker
Because this ain't it.
00:14:20
Speaker
None of that I see right here is it.
00:14:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:23
Speaker
It ain't.
00:14:25
Speaker
It's not.
00:14:26
Speaker
I subbed on the Cross the Female Dating Strategy subreddit.
Critique of Liberal Feminism
00:14:30
Speaker
And started writing just like everything that I felt like made me feel like a boss every day and started noting and started pointing out all the hypocrisies and our dating culture and this idea that men and women have to act extremely equal and you guys have to split dates and just outlining why that didn't make sense and why, you know, why it's more advantageous for women to prioritize themselves in dating.
00:14:54
Speaker
So yeah,
00:14:56
Speaker
That's basically my journey to FDS.
00:14:58
Speaker
I don't know that there was one single catalyst where I was like, oh, this breakup sucks, so I'm going to go write a bunch of stuff about this because I've had terrible relationships.
00:15:06
Speaker
I've had good ones.
00:15:09
Speaker
Just the entire culture around dating, the entire culture on sex...
00:15:14
Speaker
I felt it was as restrictive and anti-woman in the media as it felt to me as when I was really deep in the church.
00:15:22
Speaker
I couldn't feel a sizable difference between the two.
00:15:25
Speaker
So I think when I kind of started pushing my own way and just looking like, yo, yo, how does this benefit me?
00:15:31
Speaker
And really looking at it from that perspective, that's when I started to feel truly empowered and, you know, found a community of like-minded women.
00:15:39
Speaker
And we just all started sharing and, yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
now we're here.
00:15:42
Speaker
So.
00:15:44
Speaker
Exactly.
00:15:44
Speaker
And I think the reason why so many of our posts resonate with, like, well, resonated with me and why they resonate with so many women is because we've grown up in a world where, you know, traditional conservatism doesn't benefit women, it's anti-woman, and yet the supposed feminists, you know, what we call liberal feminists, are preaching things that, yeah, we
00:16:07
Speaker
Women end up taking a ton of L's following that kind of advice.
00:16:11
Speaker
And so I'm realizing like left-wing ways of thinking can be just as anti-woman.
00:16:17
Speaker
And I think that's why we're taking up.
00:16:20
Speaker
It seems like they decided everything conservative must be bad.
00:16:24
Speaker
So like if we do the exact opposite of what they're saying, then that must be the answer.
00:16:28
Speaker
And I don't think that's accurate at all.
00:16:32
Speaker
I think there are some things from
FDS's Unique Feminist Perspective
00:16:34
Speaker
conventional dating advice that work.
00:16:36
Speaker
That's why you look at stuff like the rules and why men love bitches.
00:16:40
Speaker
And there's a lot of the same kind of vetting and how you maintain respect in your relationship and cutting your losses at this first time of failure.
00:16:48
Speaker
Stuff like that that you would a lot of times see in traditional type courtship situations, but also like, you know, not letting some guy like be the boss of you, right?
00:17:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:00
Speaker
Yeah, like the liberal feminist side, meaning like you get to make a decision for your own life and you need to craft your happiness.
00:17:06
Speaker
But like, you know...
00:17:08
Speaker
going back and truly mapping out a path that's advantageous for you rather than like trying to prove things to men.
00:17:15
Speaker
I feel like with liberal feminism, it's forever trying to like, we're trying to, we're just as good as the men.
00:17:19
Speaker
We can have sex just like men can.
00:17:21
Speaker
And it's like, why would you want to?
00:17:23
Speaker
They suck.
00:17:24
Speaker
Why would you want to be like a man?
00:17:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:27
Speaker
Why would you want to be like a man?
00:17:29
Speaker
They are terrible.
00:17:30
Speaker
Like let's forge our own path.
Favorite Posts and Discussions
00:17:32
Speaker
And that's exactly what FDS is about.
00:17:35
Speaker
So that moves quite nicely on to the next segment as to what our favorite posts are.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:43
Speaker
So let's discuss our favorite posts.
00:17:44
Speaker
I figured since this is the first time we've really, you know, since people who may not be familiar with the subreddit or the website, we can just pick out the stuff that we really, really liked and discuss it with people and tell them why.
00:17:58
Speaker
Awesome.
00:17:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:00
Speaker
I mean, I mean, there is an awful, awful lot to choose from.
00:18:03
Speaker
There is a treasure trove of good posts that I've seen in, in my time on the subreddit.
00:18:12
Speaker
For everyone listening in who hasn't visited the subreddit, the subreddit web address is reddit.com forward slash r forward slash female dating strategy.
00:18:19
Speaker
And then you can also go to the website at the female dating strategy.com.
00:18:23
Speaker
We will drop the links down below.
00:18:25
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:18:27
Speaker
Cool.
00:18:27
Speaker
So Ro, what is your favorite FDS post for today?
00:18:32
Speaker
So my favorite FDS post comes from the website and it's kind of a sleeper hit.
00:18:37
Speaker
It's one of those things that I didn't fully appreciate at the time when I first read it.
00:18:41
Speaker
And then over time, kind of, it just keeps reinforcing and reinforcing in my mind that, man, this is really, really true.
00:18:47
Speaker
It's called, uh, all men have is the audacity and it's got a little picture of a Pinocchio on it, which is really hilarious.
00:18:54
Speaker
Um,
00:18:55
Speaker
So the whole post is about how a lot of times you'll notice how men will just have confidence or completely overdue confidence for their station in life.
00:19:07
Speaker
They'll be the ones going out here saying, oh, I got to have a woman who's a 10 and she's got to have a perfect body.
00:19:13
Speaker
She's got to have a little bitty waist and a big old booty.
00:19:15
Speaker
And these guys look like the Mucinex troll, right?
00:19:19
Speaker
Like the Mucinex guy from the commercial.
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:22
Speaker
And they will be dead serious about it too, like about the type of woman they deserve despite like nothing in their life resembling of that.
00:19:28
Speaker
And it just feels like I would feel really bad, right?
00:19:33
Speaker
Because I would feel over time like, damn, like even if you're a 10, like this is the type of guys you got to deal with.
00:19:38
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:19:39
Speaker
Like I would just be looking at this like they got to be kidding me.
00:19:42
Speaker
So what I really liked about the post that laid it all out was it's talking about how a lot of times men –
00:19:49
Speaker
They don't have that ability.
00:19:51
Speaker
They just say they do.
00:19:52
Speaker
And they repeat it over and over and over again until it's real to themselves.
00:19:56
Speaker
And then eventually, a lot of times, they'll find a girl who has low enough self-esteem to adopt it.
00:20:02
Speaker
And then it's real.
00:20:04
Speaker
And they just keep doing this.
00:20:06
Speaker
Like...
00:20:07
Speaker
It seemed to me, especially with this post saying, and I've observed this to be true in my whole life, is that a lot of times women think that whatever men say, that they're actually... That they're telling the truth.
00:20:16
Speaker
That they're telling the truth, and they're lying.
00:20:18
Speaker
They're under the mistaken belief that men are capable of being generally honest most of the time, which they're not, so...
00:20:25
Speaker
I think a lot of them aren't, you know, a lot of like men also aren't honest with themselves as well.
00:20:31
Speaker
And when, you know, you're not honest with yourself, it's very difficult to be honest in your interactions with other people.
00:20:38
Speaker
Yeah, absolute facts.
00:20:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:41
Speaker
Yeah, there's a whole lot of self-delusion.
00:20:42
Speaker
But the post basically says that that self-delusion may be partially like just a male thing in general because there's like a little link here that's pretty funny to this video of these chimpanzees that are just going around hooting and hollering and beating their trust trying to make themselves seem bigger and badder than they are.
00:20:59
Speaker
And I'm like, you know what?
00:21:00
Speaker
Yeah, that makes sense to me.
00:21:02
Speaker
Because it's like, you're looking at it and you're like, you know, this could just be like some kind of evolutionary adaptation.
00:21:08
Speaker
Like in their mind, they're always the biggest, baddest MF-er out there, no matter what.
00:21:12
Speaker
And that's just like the way that they attract women is just go out and just say some outrageous shit about who they are and what they deserve.
00:21:19
Speaker
And...
00:21:21
Speaker
you know, eventually they'll find a female that'll buy into that either through like, she's just naive or she just, you know, is, is coerced in it.
00:21:30
Speaker
And in the worst case scenario, like they're a little bit abusive or they're flat out abusive and sometimes impose this kind of stuff on women.
00:21:36
Speaker
But for me, the key takeaway from that,
00:21:40
Speaker
from that post was like you gotta have a narrative for your own life that is so strong that you repel all these losers now i think it's easy to like be dismissive of guys who are like obviously ugly obviously like sitting in their mom's basement covered in cheeto grease obviously casimodo obviously casimodo
00:22:01
Speaker
Obviously gross, but sometimes it's harder.
00:22:04
Speaker
I think when you have a bunch of guys and they're all hyping each other up, like, yeah, we're going to get this and we're going to get that.
00:22:09
Speaker
And it's just them a lot of times dapping each other up and trying to get each other the confidence to approach women who honestly really, truly should be out of their league.
00:22:17
Speaker
But, you know, it's just a matter of them giving themselves a shot by just repeatedly trying.
00:22:24
Speaker
So I think the entire thing is saying that, like, as women, we're the ones that make their shit real or not.
00:22:29
Speaker
They can cry.
00:22:31
Speaker
They can scream.
00:22:31
Speaker
They can make these declarative statements all they want.
00:22:34
Speaker
We didn't got to buy it.
00:22:36
Speaker
Right.
00:22:36
Speaker
I feel like every time a man says a declarative statement in his own behalf, we should just clap back to like two, three more.
00:22:41
Speaker
So if he's out here like, yeah, I got to have a woman who's like five foot seven and she's got like double D cups and everything.
00:22:49
Speaker
I'm the first one to clap back and be like, OK, well, let me see your jawline and your hairline.
00:22:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:54
Speaker
Let me see your bank account.
00:22:57
Speaker
Or just straight up laugh in their face.
00:22:59
Speaker
You know, you don't even need to say anything at all.
00:23:01
Speaker
There's nothing that will cut a man down more than just pure female laughter.
00:23:05
Speaker
Yeah, true.
00:23:06
Speaker
I don't know if you guys remember this viral post that went viral a while ago.
00:23:09
Speaker
It was this guy that was like, oh, I'm a lawyer.
00:23:12
Speaker
I'm in the top 5% of Black men that graduated.
00:23:16
Speaker
And so I'm the prize.
00:23:17
Speaker
Do you remember the I'm the prize post?
00:23:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:23:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:20
Speaker
That like, I am a high value man.
00:23:23
Speaker
That guy.
00:23:24
Speaker
Yeah, he got roasted all over the internet.
00:23:27
Speaker
But like that was the perfect response for somebody like that.
00:23:30
Speaker
And I feel like people even dug into his backstory and he like barely passed the bar exam and was and I think he was like really, really short.
00:23:36
Speaker
But it was one of those examples where it was like, this guy really got on the internet and wrote a manifesto about what he deserves now.
00:23:43
Speaker
did that with his whole soul and whole heart.
00:23:45
Speaker
And, you know, maybe at a different time, other people would have been applauding him for that.
00:23:50
Speaker
But I think now women are starting to wake up and be like, you know, you need to have a seat.
00:23:55
Speaker
The other thing that's important to remember is that so many of these guys have been watching porn since they were like 10 years old.
00:24:01
Speaker
And so in their brain, they're thinking every night they go to bed with the 10 out of 10 woman with a huge booty, tiny waist.
00:24:08
Speaker
They see a normal woman in real life and think like, oh, I can do better
00:24:12
Speaker
than her, but really all they're actually doing in real life is jerking off in their mom's basement.
00:24:18
Speaker
But, you know, their brain tricks them into thinking that that is their standard.
00:24:22
Speaker
That's been repeatedly observably true.
00:24:25
Speaker
Cause I, I know we've been talking to the subreddit about a lot of these guys in middle age who think they have all these options now because, because of dating apps.
00:24:33
Speaker
So like a lot of times they'll get swipe rights from women on dating apps and like, they don't know that two thirds of those are fake or sex workers.
00:24:41
Speaker
Yeah, they're bots and cam girls.
00:24:44
Speaker
Bots, cam girls.
00:24:45
Speaker
And they really are like, I got all these options now.
00:24:47
Speaker
I'm a high value man at 45 years old and I have a beer gut and their hairline is still at 2008 recession level.
00:24:54
Speaker
It's just...
00:24:57
Speaker
But delusion is strong.
00:24:59
Speaker
And the funny thing is they all have the audacity to tell us, like, oh, you bitches over a female dating strategy are probably fat and ugly, so you should just lower your standards and be realistic and that kind of stuff.
00:25:12
Speaker
And it's like...
00:25:14
Speaker
Look at, bro, look at yourself.
00:25:16
Speaker
Look in the mirror, buddy.
00:25:17
Speaker
Men do not police each other.
00:25:19
Speaker
That's why I think the number one thing about the subreddit that's been great is no standard shaming because just because you see a girl that says something that you think is outrageous, like every man better buy me a Birkin bag within two dates.
00:25:31
Speaker
Otherwise he's getting nexted.
00:25:32
Speaker
Like you should be applauding that chick.
00:25:34
Speaker
Don't get in your feelings and be like, oh, she's outrageous.
00:25:37
Speaker
She's asking for too much.
00:25:38
Speaker
These women out, you know, a lot of times pick me's will feel insecure because they don't have the confidence to ask for that kind of stuff.
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:45
Speaker
So then like, they'll feel instinctive to tear that woman down.
00:25:48
Speaker
But like, if I see a woman with higher standards than me, and it looks especially if I think she's actually good, I'm like, damn, how can I be like her?
00:25:54
Speaker
Like, I'm gonna throw on her jersey and, and get a pen and a pad and try to learn to be like her right now.
00:25:58
Speaker
That's, that's the response you should have instead of, oh, who does she think she is demanding all this stuff.
00:26:03
Speaker
Yeah, because guys already do that for themselves, right?
00:26:06
Speaker
Guys already have that, like, the male equivalent of buy me a Birkin bag.
00:26:10
Speaker
It's like, you know, so women, we deserve to be able to lift ourselves up as much as they do, if not more.
00:26:16
Speaker
And, you know, people, you know, value things more, even men, if they've had to, I guess, you know, work for it a bit harder.
00:26:24
Speaker
Right.
00:26:25
Speaker
Even men who have been promiscuous that I know, they've always said it's always a bit different when she makes you work for it.
00:26:33
Speaker
So again, you know, not asking for anything or trying to be low maintenance is really not it.
00:26:41
Speaker
It's really not it.
00:26:43
Speaker
Or pretending that you don't have needs when everyone has needs.
00:26:46
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:26:47
Speaker
And that's one thing that...
00:26:48
Speaker
I've studied that myself in like therapy is that it's okay to have needs and it's okay to, to voice those needs.
00:26:55
Speaker
And, you know, if, if someone can't meet those needs, that's a different issue, but it's not a bad thing to have needs.
00:27:02
Speaker
And, you know, if you look at men, they have no qualms about voicing their needs or what they want in a partner, you know, they've got absolutely, you know, they'll say it with their chest.
00:27:11
Speaker
But women, for some reason, we like to shrink ourselves down and just try and be like the cool girl, you know, trademark sign at the end and just pretend we have no needs.
00:27:21
Speaker
It's the negative reaction.
00:27:23
Speaker
And I can say that that's been true for myself because I've always been a person that is pretty straightforward.
00:27:28
Speaker
But you can, I mean, besides being called a bitch, but like people will really react to you so poorly that it makes you feel like, damn, maybe I'm crazy.
00:27:37
Speaker
Yeah, true.
00:27:38
Speaker
You trigger pick me's because they feel insecure and then you trigger men because they feel insecure.
00:27:43
Speaker
So then you could just feel, there's not a lot of times enough female camaraderie just to come back and say, no, what you want is valid.
00:27:53
Speaker
And, you know, especially if you're immediate family, like your mom, you know, again, I was raised in the church, so that's pick me central.
00:28:00
Speaker
I mean, okay, not to insult anybody's religion, but a lot of the stuff that gets... It's very male centered.
00:28:05
Speaker
Religion tends to be very male centric.
00:28:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:08
Speaker
Right.
00:28:09
Speaker
You know, it's very much around marriage and always making a lot of compromises.
00:28:13
Speaker
And there's a culture of always trying to push women to do more and more and more emotional labor for the men in their lives and and accept less and less and less to keep marriages together.
00:28:26
Speaker
Because the goal is always to keep marriage together rather than necessarily women's individual happiness.
00:28:32
Speaker
And so that creates a conflicting incentive for women to voice their needs.
00:28:37
Speaker
Yeah, women are punished pretty much since birth for asking for more, for, you know, for having high standards, for thinking of themselves well.
00:28:45
Speaker
Like, I can remember all the times as a little girl, wherever I felt really, really good about myself.
00:28:51
Speaker
And like,
00:28:52
Speaker
people make fun of that.
00:28:53
Speaker
They see a confident little girl and they think that's deserving of mockery, right?
00:28:57
Speaker
But if a boy is being really arrogant, they go, oh, like, you know, boys will be boys, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:03
Speaker
He's a ladies' man.
00:29:04
Speaker
He has so much confidence, that kind of thing.
00:29:06
Speaker
You know, women are punished for the same things that men are rewarded for.
00:29:10
Speaker
And so, I think that's how we end up as adults in situations where
00:29:14
Speaker
grown men after being coddled and positively reinforced for talking themselves up like that, they obviously are going to continue doing that.
00:29:23
Speaker
And women, they have a lifetime of what is essentially trauma.
00:29:27
Speaker
Female socialization is just, is traumatic.
00:29:31
Speaker
But it's also like, you know, on the topic of, you know, women's like standards, you know, I've often found that men only tend to get hostile towards, you know, my standards when they don't meet them.
00:29:43
Speaker
So if I say I prefer taller men, it tends to be guys who are five for eight that start getting a bit funny about it.
00:29:50
Speaker
The only guy that didn't get
00:29:52
Speaker
you know, weird about me saying I prefer taller men with six foot four.
00:29:55
Speaker
So, you know, he knew that he met that standard.
00:29:58
Speaker
So it wasn't a problem for him, you know?
00:30:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:02
Speaker
It's the abuse, man.
00:30:03
Speaker
Like I've had guys get mad and say some really horrible things because I didn't agree to like a taco date one time.
00:30:09
Speaker
And I was just like, I mean, it could really be anything that sets some of these guys off.
00:30:13
Speaker
And so I think just dealing with that over and over can kind of
00:30:17
Speaker
Where are you?
00:30:18
Speaker
Like it grinds away at you.
00:30:19
Speaker
It grinds away.
00:30:20
Speaker
So many women's psyche.
00:30:21
Speaker
It's sad.
00:30:22
Speaker
It's sad to see how many women by the time they are a grown woman, how they've been beaten down by patriarchy over and over and over and over again.
00:30:31
Speaker
It's just conditioning us to accept less, essentially.
00:30:34
Speaker
That's all it is.
00:30:36
Speaker
It's just because they, you know, patriarchy knows that the average man isn't that exceptional.
00:30:42
Speaker
So as opposed to... That's the big secret.
00:30:46
Speaker
If that is the one lesson you should take away from FDS is they are not exceptional.
00:30:53
Speaker
They're regular as hell.
00:30:54
Speaker
They don't know what they're talking about.
00:30:56
Speaker
I mean, that's not the whole post.
00:30:58
Speaker
They don't know what they're talking about.
00:30:59
Speaker
They're just talking.
00:31:01
Speaker
And as soon as you understand that, the less you'll take them seriously.
00:31:03
Speaker
And it doesn't mean you have to always broadcast from the hilltops like I know better than you because as a person who's to clap back all the time, that is kind of a miserable life, always trying to be combative.
00:31:14
Speaker
But like, if you know, you need to know in your heart, just look at them like, okay, let them talk and know what you know.
00:31:21
Speaker
Yeah, once you've truly ascended in FDS, like, you'll get to a point where you just don't even care what they think anymore.
Differences in Male and Female Sexuality
00:31:27
Speaker
You'll just laugh and move on.
00:31:28
Speaker
Like, you don't even need to clap back.
00:31:30
Speaker
Your silence is enough.
00:31:33
Speaker
I do it only because, like, if it makes me laugh, then I'm like, I'm going to use myself today.
00:31:38
Speaker
I got time right now.
00:31:39
Speaker
Yeah, for your personal entertainment, then that's fine.
00:31:41
Speaker
So who's up next?
00:31:43
Speaker
I'm happy to go next.
00:31:46
Speaker
Okay, so the next post, because I was going through the post, many posts, but I've settled on one finally, is the one which is again on the website.
00:31:56
Speaker
And it is about the topic of sex and how it's not fair.
00:32:01
Speaker
And it's important that women act accordingly.
00:32:04
Speaker
So this post essentially deals with the notion that liberal feminism has been trotting out to women, that, you know, men and women experience, you know, sex in exactly the same way.
00:32:19
Speaker
Hence why one night stands are no longer a big deal.
00:32:23
Speaker
That, you know, BDSM...
00:32:26
Speaker
is completely fine to indulge in because, you know, men and women are the same, right?
00:32:31
Speaker
But this article, essentially, it lays out the reasons why women should be more discerning when it comes to who they choose to sleep with.
00:32:40
Speaker
This isn't, you know, to pass any form of, for example, moral judgment on women.
00:32:46
Speaker
We're not a religious, you know, organisation.
00:32:49
Speaker
We don't, you know, come from that sort of angle.
00:32:51
Speaker
But there are very, very practical reasons as to why, you know,
00:32:57
Speaker
it's prudent for a woman to be mindful of who she sleeps with.
00:33:01
Speaker
So, you know, some of the examples are, I mean, the most obvious is that women do not orgasm at the rate and frequency of men.
00:33:10
Speaker
Even in the constant committed relationships, there are many studies that prove this point.
00:33:16
Speaker
You know, if you're walking into a one night stand situation, the chance of that happening are even less.
00:33:21
Speaker
You know, men have said with their own mouths that if they don't see a woman as girlfriend or wife material, they see absolutely no obligation in ensuring that she has a good time, basically.
00:33:32
Speaker
So, you know, you essentially turn into the equivalent of a human fleshlight for a stranger.
00:33:39
Speaker
You know, the social consequences for sex are higher for women.
00:33:43
Speaker
This isn't a fact that liberal feminists really like to admit, but it's true.
00:33:49
Speaker
A promiscuous man will never face the same social consequence as a woman who is promiscuous.
00:33:56
Speaker
That is just facts.
00:33:57
Speaker
It's not fair, but it is what it is.
00:33:59
Speaker
It's one of those things where it would take such a long time to change.
00:34:02
Speaker
I think it has changed, obviously, from probably our parents' and grandparents' generation.
00:34:07
Speaker
But you can see a lot of times men doubling down on the slut-shaming now.
00:34:12
Speaker
And now it's all about, like, you know, I don't know that they've changed the way that they feel.
00:34:16
Speaker
They just change tactics, and it's less socially acceptable for them to say out loud.
00:34:20
Speaker
But they still a lot of times act the same.
00:34:22
Speaker
But they still say, and even like the retrospective jealousy, like there's so many posts on Reddit of a guy saying, I found out my girlfriend did anal with her ex and not with me.
00:34:32
Speaker
I want to break up with her.
00:34:34
Speaker
And then the comments will be saying, yeah, you know, you're well within your right to break up with her.
00:34:39
Speaker
It's all that stuff.
00:34:40
Speaker
There is, you know, basically the social consequences for women engaging in sexual activity can be a lot greater.
00:34:45
Speaker
And also, you know, from a health aspect as well, you know, men are more likely to transmit.
00:34:50
Speaker
Like HPV.
00:34:52
Speaker
Like you can't even test a man for HPV.
00:34:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:55
Speaker
You can't get tested.
00:34:56
Speaker
And, you know, they're more likely to transmit STIs and STDs and the other way around as well.
00:35:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:01
Speaker
you know, men can't get tested for that.
00:35:03
Speaker
So essentially it's basically setting out the case, a very, very, you know, strong case against casual sex.
00:35:11
Speaker
It's essentially very, very high risk with very, very little chance of reward.
00:35:16
Speaker
And that's always, because I've never really been into the one night stand.
00:35:20
Speaker
I've always like needed that sort of, you know, connection or not necessarily a romantic connection, but I couldn't just meet someone in a bar and be like, yeah, let's go home together.
00:35:30
Speaker
Yeah, you don't know if that guy's a serial killer either.
00:35:33
Speaker
The other thing that's scary to me, and this is not obviously normal, but this has happened where you've seen these women have gone home with these guys from the clubs and nobody finds them anymore.
00:35:43
Speaker
That's another thing to keep in mind.
00:35:45
Speaker
Our wrists are real.
00:35:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:35:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:50
Speaker
That's true.
00:35:51
Speaker
Like, and, um, and I mean, for me, it was even something like his hygiene.
00:35:55
Speaker
Like I'm really quite particular about hygiene.
00:35:58
Speaker
And again, if you see the stories on Reddit about even men in, you know, committed relationships, choosing not to brush their teeth or wipe their ass, like it's just too many.
00:36:09
Speaker
So, um, I'm not willing to take that gamble and, you know, risk going home with a guy and end up puking because he hasn't wiped his ass properly.
00:36:18
Speaker
So,
00:36:19
Speaker
And then the other thing is, like, you don't get to see, like, what he's working with either.
00:36:22
Speaker
Like, it's going to be a surprise because, like, you don't know what's going to happen.
00:36:26
Speaker
No.
00:36:27
Speaker
No, exactly.
00:36:29
Speaker
And you just don't know, like, you know, they could just... Because especially now with the proliferation of porn and now it's so... You don't know what he's even into.
00:36:37
Speaker
He could just get into bed and just start, you know, choking you, slapping you, just doing all sorts of, you know, stuff that isn't pleasurable for you because...
00:36:46
Speaker
It takes away that intimacy of getting to know someone, want to pleasure them.
00:36:50
Speaker
Like what you were saying before, like you cannot assume these guys want to bother making you happy sexually.
00:36:55
Speaker
Like a lot of men are extremely, extremely selfish and see these encounters for them only.
00:37:00
Speaker
And so a lot of times they will do stuff like that and not talk to you about it.
00:37:05
Speaker
And as much as they always say like, oh, you have to communicate.
00:37:07
Speaker
It's not something that's even like normal.
00:37:10
Speaker
I feel like for guys to do that, like, and that's why you have to,
00:37:14
Speaker
vet men who have that ability to do that because I don't even I mean I don't know the mass vast majority of men are in the habit of doing that they're just like I'm just gonna go through my porn routine and hope she likes it right yeah exactly exactly and you know so you know liberal feminists trying to claim that males and females are just as sexual as each other it's beyond it's
00:37:35
Speaker
essentially beyond parody especially if we look at you know the statistics for rape when you know 99 of rapes are committed by men surely if women had the same you know sexuality as men it would be 50 50 but it's not for example so well i mean you don't even have to look at the stats i mean when's the last time you heard a woman doing something insane just for sex like you hear all the time in the news of guy like oh he hid out in a porter potty for like 64 hours straight so he could see the inside of a woman's panties
00:38:06
Speaker
It isn't... It's not even for sex, though, bro.
00:38:08
Speaker
It's even just for a sniff of pussy, like...
00:38:13
Speaker
There are guys that will spend hundreds of dollars to buy a woman's used panties.
00:38:18
Speaker
Okay.
00:38:19
Speaker
Like women aren't doing that shit.
00:38:21
Speaker
Exactly.
00:38:21
Speaker
Well, bathwater.
00:38:22
Speaker
And it isn't, it isn't women putting up cameras in, you know, men's toilets to catch them, you know.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:29
Speaker
Nobody wants to see that.
00:38:30
Speaker
They're using the bathroom.
00:38:32
Speaker
If you put a camera in the men's bathroom, it would be full of the most unkept bush like discolored.
00:38:39
Speaker
disgusting teens you have everything you would probably see like all sorts of urine stains there's nothing attractive about that skin marks you know what really drives me crazy is all those like articles from cosmo or like teen vogue or whatever that are like girls can be just as kinky and horny as boys and i'm like no bitch okay like
00:38:59
Speaker
When was the last time you heard of a woman, yeah, like putting hidden cameras in a change room or a hotel room or something like that to try to catch a guy be naked or whatever?
00:39:09
Speaker
When have you ever heard of a woman like hacking into a celebrity's cloud just to see their nudes or whatever?
00:39:15
Speaker
There was a guy that fell through the ceiling at like a Planet Fitness because he was trying to spy in the women's locker room.
00:39:21
Speaker
Have you ever heard a woman do that?
00:39:22
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:39:23
Speaker
Yeah, like the shit that men will do to get laid or to get sexual stimulation, women aren't like that.
00:39:29
Speaker
And it kind of goes back to what Rose, you know, said in her, in her favorite post about, you know, men literally making stuff up.
00:39:35
Speaker
I remember reading a Reddit post where a woman, I think was saying how, you know, please don't send unsolicited, um, for example, dick pics because I really, really don't like them.
00:39:44
Speaker
And guys in the comments are trying to say, you know, women send me unsolicited needs as well.
00:39:49
Speaker
I'm just like, no, they don't.
00:39:51
Speaker
They really, they really don't.
00:39:54
Speaker
Stop fucking lying to me.
00:39:56
Speaker
God.
00:39:57
Speaker
They really, really don't.
00:40:00
Speaker
It's a bot.
00:40:01
Speaker
It's her pimp.
Debunking Myths and Risks in Sexual Behavior
00:40:02
Speaker
It's the woman's pimp trying to sell you on her services.
00:40:05
Speaker
Nobody does that.
00:40:06
Speaker
And I even asked him, I was like, are you really saying that women are sending unsolicited nudes at the same rate as men?
00:40:12
Speaker
And they genuinely said, yeah, I'm sure it happens as well.
00:40:15
Speaker
It's like, you're deluded, guys, because it doesn't happen.
00:40:19
Speaker
It really doesn't happen.
00:40:20
Speaker
No, when I hear stories like that, what I think is he probably coerced a girl into sending him her nudes.
00:40:26
Speaker
Like, she didn't do it unsolicited.
00:40:28
Speaker
He was probably like, come on, babe, I'm so horny.
00:40:31
Speaker
Like, please send me a pic.
00:40:33
Speaker
You know, if you really loved me, do this for me.
00:40:35
Speaker
And then she's like, well, okay, I'll do it just this once or whatever, because I trust you.
00:40:41
Speaker
And he's like, I'm going to put in my homie's group chat.
00:40:44
Speaker
Like, fuck off.
00:40:46
Speaker
I don't even think he, I don't think he got me to Lilith.
00:40:48
Speaker
You know, you remember the website Ashley Madison that was for people that were trying to cheat on their spot?
00:40:53
Speaker
Yes.
00:40:54
Speaker
Yes.
00:40:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:55
Speaker
And people got like outed.
00:40:57
Speaker
And they did a study and like 99% of the female users were bots.
00:41:01
Speaker
So I feel like a lot of times these things are like, they're just for sex workers or bots.
00:41:07
Speaker
bots to keep the men engaged on the app.
00:41:10
Speaker
I like if they get news, it's probably from a woman who is literally a cam girl or it's not even, she's not even real.
00:41:17
Speaker
It's just like a, an avatar.
00:41:20
Speaker
Hey, trying to use to entice men to keep engaging with the website.
00:41:24
Speaker
Cause otherwise they would get no traffic because these guys wouldn't like, they'd just be sitting there talking to each other.
00:41:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:30
Speaker
Because even on sites like Omegle or Chatroulette, there's, you know, even when a guy selects, he wants to match with women, he just sees other penises.
00:41:40
Speaker
Or they're always worried about, you know, when they match the woman, they don't know if she's real or not.
00:41:46
Speaker
Because some men just like literally, I don't know how they do it, but they put on a video of a woman.
00:41:52
Speaker
So it looks like she's on a webcam, but she's not.
00:41:56
Speaker
And so many men get caught out by that because there's so few women, like genuine women on these sites.
00:42:02
Speaker
There's so few of them.
00:42:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:04
Speaker
So like female sexuality and male sexuality is not the fucking same.
00:42:10
Speaker
It's like men aren't worried.
00:42:11
Speaker
Like if a man walks down the street topless, he's not worried that he's going to get raped or attacked or cackled or, you know, or harassed.
00:42:19
Speaker
Like he's not worried about that.
00:42:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:22
Speaker
When a man has sex, he's not worried about getting pregnant.
00:42:26
Speaker
He's not worried about, like, getting HPV.
00:42:29
Speaker
And, you know, quite frankly, like, a lot of guys, I'm sure they'll hook up, they'll try to hit it raw or whatever.
00:42:36
Speaker
They don't give a shit if a woman he hooked up with a year ago gets cervical cancer or something like that.
00:42:42
Speaker
That's just a non-
00:42:43
Speaker
Non-issue.
00:42:44
Speaker
You have to beg these guys to get STD tests sometimes.
00:42:47
Speaker
I don't think there's been any guy except for one who's ever brought up STD tests to me.
00:42:51
Speaker
It's always been me.
00:42:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:53
Speaker
Always.
00:42:54
Speaker
That's so strange.
00:42:56
Speaker
Because I used to know a guy who was really sexually active.
00:42:59
Speaker
He only got tested once a year.
00:43:01
Speaker
And even in my naive sex education brain, I thought, surely it's every three months you're meant to be tested.
00:43:08
Speaker
Surely that's not frequent enough.
00:43:11
Speaker
Like if you're having a lot of sex.
00:43:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:13
Speaker
But yeah.
00:43:14
Speaker
So three months.
00:43:15
Speaker
That's good.
00:43:16
Speaker
I mean, I've talked to guys that are like, I haven't gotten tested since my last physical.
00:43:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:20
Speaker
What was your last physical?
00:43:21
Speaker
I don't know, like two, three years ago.
00:43:25
Speaker
Maybe that's an American thing.
00:43:26
Speaker
You know what?
00:43:26
Speaker
Our healthcare system is expensive.
00:43:28
Speaker
Oh, you poor, you poor Americans.
00:43:30
Speaker
I'm so, I'm so sorry for you.
00:43:33
Speaker
Healthcare is expensive here.
00:43:34
Speaker
So yes, I get it.
00:43:36
Speaker
It's not cheap, but like once a year.
00:43:39
Speaker
A child is more expensive and so is catching an STI, an STD, surely.
Pregnancy and Motherhood Challenges
00:43:44
Speaker
Surely.
00:43:44
Speaker
And a lot of times it's not the cost because there's places where you can get it like for free.
00:43:48
Speaker
Like there's always free clinics.
00:43:49
Speaker
For free.
00:43:49
Speaker
But like they, you know, they just don't bother to go unless someone forces them to go.
00:43:54
Speaker
And even then it's like a, you know, I mean, at this point I'm like, if it's like a hem and hop next.
00:43:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:00
Speaker
If he has to be dragged,
00:44:01
Speaker
Leave him behind.
00:44:02
Speaker
Exactly.
00:44:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:04
Speaker
Leave him behind to his videos.
00:44:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:07
Speaker
But do you mind if I go ahead and talk about my favorite post?
00:44:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:10
Speaker
What's your one, Lilith?
00:44:11
Speaker
So I'm really glad that you brought up that one, Savannah, about how male and female sexuality is different because mine is a little bit similar, but it's more to do with childbirth.
00:44:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:23
Speaker
Like, I don't have any kids.
00:44:25
Speaker
I don't really want to have any kids.
00:44:27
Speaker
But I know so many women whose lives have literally been ruined by having a child at the wrong time or with the wrong man.
00:44:35
Speaker
And so the title of this post that really resonated with me was, Protect Your Womb Like It's the Last Thing You Do.
00:44:43
Speaker
And it's basically about how, you know, you should never let a low-value man or negative-value man get you pregnant, because ultimately the woman will suffer most, if not all, of the consequences.
00:44:56
Speaker
For one, pregnancy is extremely traumatic to a woman's body.
00:45:00
Speaker
It permanently changes your body.
00:45:04
Speaker
And even if you have to get an abortion or something like that, it still affects you, right?
00:45:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:10
Speaker
Obviously, less risk most of the time to have an abortion than to give birth, but getting pregnant is very risky, and the burden of avoiding pregnancy is something that is shouldered solely by women.
00:45:21
Speaker
I mean, even the abortion thing, and I've unfortunately had friends, I've been a chaperone before, I mean, it's harrowing, especially because there's a lot of people literally outside the clinic calling her a baby killer, right?
00:45:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:34
Speaker
It's not something that, I mean, that's, I mean, that's, that's the United States.
00:45:38
Speaker
I don't know how that is every other place, but like, it's, it's a pretty intense anti-abortion lobby.
00:45:44
Speaker
And, um, I mean, you'll see them outside and they'll have pictures of like, uh, fetuses that have been dismembered and it's pretty awful.
00:45:51
Speaker
I don't want to minimize, even though obviously it's less than the stress of caring for a child for 18 years.
00:45:58
Speaker
I don't want to minimize that that can be traumatic for some reason.
00:46:01
Speaker
For some women, it's not at all, but some women, like the entire experience can be unpleasant.
00:46:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:07
Speaker
And I do find that religious people vastly talk about abortion like it's worse than giving birth.
00:46:14
Speaker
You know, abortion can be traumatic, especially somewhat emotionally, but I think a lot of that is overblown.
00:46:21
Speaker
The religious right tends to ignore the fact that giving birth physically, emotionally, everything is more difficult than an abortion.
00:46:29
Speaker
Yeah, there are some risks associated with abortion, but they're far lower than actually even
00:46:34
Speaker
birth.
00:46:34
Speaker
And then knowing your child is out there and knowing your child is out there.
00:46:37
Speaker
I think there was like an Atlantic article about that, how a lot of women choose abortion over adoption because the guilt of creating a child that you then have to give away is really intense for so many.
00:46:48
Speaker
In fact, that'd be something you have to live with the rest of your life.
00:46:51
Speaker
Whereas having an abortion kind of creates a, you know, an ending to it.
00:46:54
Speaker
Exactly.
00:46:55
Speaker
And I just, I'm
00:46:57
Speaker
Like, I don't believe in God or anything like that, but I do have a sort of personal, spiritual, moral kind of code or whatever, right?
00:47:04
Speaker
And part of that is I do think that children are precious and that creating life, giving birth, is something that is sacred.
00:47:13
Speaker
And it's very sad to me when I see people just hooking up and, like, giving birth, like, all willy-nilly.
00:47:21
Speaker
Like, the solemnity of it is not taken as seriously as I think it should be, right?
00:47:26
Speaker
Right.
00:47:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:49
Speaker
But it also goes back to, you know, the post on sex as well, just being, you know, discerning about who you sleep with as well.
00:47:57
Speaker
Exactly.
00:47:57
Speaker
And who you ultimately choose to be in a relationship, you know, with, because...
00:48:05
Speaker
Yeah, I completely agree.
00:48:06
Speaker
It's almost, and there is a certain sub on Reddit that makes chilling reading if you're ever worried or questioning, you know, your ability or your desire to have children.
00:48:20
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sure, you know, Rowan and Lilith know which one I'm talking about.
00:48:24
Speaker
But just reading that and the horror stories from there.
00:48:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:29
Speaker
it's it's a sobering reality as to what life would be like you know if you have a children with a low value like a low to negative value man that is the end game if you choose to do that yeah you know they're crying they're overworked overwhelmed husband doesn't help he doesn't care um it's just some miserable existence absolutely miserable yeah i remember seeing a post on that subreddit um
00:48:55
Speaker
That basically went like, my husband makes four times as much money as me and, you know, we split everything 50-50.
00:49:04
Speaker
He gets to spend his money on video games and I get to spend all, like, he basically said like, oh, because you wanted a kid and I didn't want a kid, all of the childcare costs are your money.
00:49:15
Speaker
Like, that's your responsibility, right?
00:49:17
Speaker
So, they, like, live together, you know, they go 50-50 on rent, but all of her disposable income goes into raising the child.
00:49:26
Speaker
And I've met so many couples like that, where the woman, her entire existence goes into raising this child because the man doesn't lift a finger financially or otherwise.
00:49:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:37
Speaker
And the man basically acts like he's, you know, single.
00:49:40
Speaker
I think, you know, a lot of married women are actually single parents.
00:49:45
Speaker
You know, society likes to talk about the single mother's epidemic, you know, as in where the father is absent or, but, you know, not enough consideration is given to the single parent phenomena within society.
00:49:57
Speaker
you know, within marriages or within relationships where the woman is formally partnered.
00:50:01
Speaker
That's why a lot of women choose to be single mothers.
00:50:04
Speaker
They're better off by themselves.
00:50:05
Speaker
There was a TikTok on that, that was really highly upvirted on the FDS where a woman was talking about, I have to do so much less now that I don't have a husband.
00:50:13
Speaker
People ask me if my life's hardest is a single mom.
00:50:17
Speaker
And for a lot of single moms, it's like, no, I just have one less child I have to care for now.
00:50:21
Speaker
And that's the scary thing about having a child with a low value or negative value man is that not only is he not a provider, but he is actually taking away from the resources that should be devoted to the child.
00:50:34
Speaker
Yes, 100%.
00:50:36
Speaker
I've met so many couples where the man is like weirdly jealous of the attention that the child gets.
00:50:42
Speaker
Yes.
00:50:42
Speaker
And they're resentful and like they'll go and cheat on their girlfriend or wife or whatever because like, well, like she doesn't pay attention to me anymore.
00:50:50
Speaker
All the time is spent on the baby, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:52
Speaker
I saw something in this guy being like he ate up all the kids' fruit snacks.
00:50:57
Speaker
I don't remember what it was, but it was, it's stuff like that where they're literally like, Oh, my, my wife goes to the store.
00:51:02
Speaker
She brings back fruit snacks for the kids and then says, I can't eat them.
00:51:05
Speaker
So then he like spitefully eats them all.
00:51:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:08
Speaker
Or just like coming in with muddy boots and like making a mess, leaving the towel on the, the wet towels on the bed, like not picking up after himself.
00:51:16
Speaker
He's just making more messes for her to clean up after.
00:51:19
Speaker
He's just another person she has to cook for and feed.
00:51:24
Speaker
I know a lot of single mothers where their workload, the amount of hours they spend per week actually in the home and working, is less when they're single than when they're with their husband.
00:51:34
Speaker
That's chilling.
00:51:35
Speaker
It's chilling, isn't it?
00:51:36
Speaker
But yeah, but back to this post about why you should guard your womb is, you know, not only is it physically traumatic to the woman's body, but raising children is expensive and low-value men, yeah, like, they...
00:51:48
Speaker
will either leave the mom to do all of the child rearing and also expect her to work a full-time job.
00:51:57
Speaker
You know,
00:51:59
Speaker
I hate these families where they both work, but the woman does all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the child rearing.
00:52:07
Speaker
And the man comes home from work and puts himself in front of the TV and does nothing until bedtime.
00:52:13
Speaker
And then when they go to their marital bed, when they go to their marital bed, he has the nerve to turn to her and want sex.
00:52:20
Speaker
And she's like, no, I'm exhausted.
00:52:22
Speaker
And then he has the nerve to like, porn star sex.
00:52:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:24
Speaker
Porn quality sex.
00:52:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:25
Speaker
He'll be like, hey, babe, I'm really horny.
00:52:27
Speaker
Can you give me a blow job?
00:52:28
Speaker
And she's like, not now, honey.
00:52:29
Speaker
I've been like literally working since 6 a.m.
00:52:32
Speaker
continuously from getting the kids ready for school and then going to work and then coming back, picking up the kids, cooking, you know, cleaning, doing everything, signing paperwork for their homework or whatever.
00:52:42
Speaker
And then, you know, the guy will have the nerve to then complain about his dead bedroom or whatever.
00:52:46
Speaker
It's like, buddy.
00:52:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:48
Speaker
it is zero effort in being attractive yeah like i would hate my husband if i had a husband like that i would hate him i would not touch his dick just out of sheer contempt like nobody wants to have sex with their child it's like being the opposite of a pedophile right like if a guy is acting like
00:53:08
Speaker
immature, childish, blah, blah, blah.
00:53:11
Speaker
It is an actual turnoff for women.
00:53:13
Speaker
We'll just look at that and be like, ew, if I have to care for you, like you're an infant, it's not happening, buddy.
00:53:20
Speaker
It's so weird because how our culture romanticizes that.
00:53:22
Speaker
Cause you look at something like Homer Simpson, if you've ever seen like the Simpsons and like, that's the entire stick between him and Marge, right?
00:53:29
Speaker
Like she does everything for him because he's so helpless.
00:53:32
Speaker
Marge took a massive L. And she still loves him and has sexually attracted him for some reason.
00:53:37
Speaker
Yeah, same thing with Family Guy and, like, Lois and all that stuff.
00:53:40
Speaker
I don't understand how these become, like, 20 season franchises.
00:53:44
Speaker
But yeah, and then the last point with that post that I brought up is that in our society, men are not bound to fatherhood in the same way that women are.
00:53:54
Speaker
Like, men can just up and abandon you whenever he feels like it.
00:53:58
Speaker
And yeah, you can probably get some child support out of him, but if he's unemployed, like, there's really no...
00:54:03
Speaker
there's no gold to dig, let's just say.
00:54:05
Speaker
And then, you know, he could up and abandon you.
00:54:09
Speaker
But as a woman, like, you're expected to care for that child now, regardless of his absence.
00:54:14
Speaker
And if you don't, you're branded a terrible mother.
00:54:17
Speaker
Like, a guy could go out and could go out fishing or partying with his buddies every weekend, and people don't really judge that as much.
00:54:23
Speaker
But if a woman were to go out partying with her girlfriends, leaving the baby at home with the husband, she would be slandered, child protected.
00:54:30
Speaker
services would be called because she's, you know, neglecting her child or whatever.
00:54:34
Speaker
The standards for men and women for childcare is just not the same.
00:54:39
Speaker
And so, I've seen so many women, like bright, intelligent, talented women who, you know,
00:54:47
Speaker
hook up with their high school sweetheart and she's about to go off to university or something and he doesn't want to get dumped and so he quickly gets her pregnant and like her life is effectively ruined, right?
00:54:57
Speaker
And these women, instead of being able to fulfill their dreams and maximize their potential, they're stuck at home, you know, performing domestic servitude for a low-value man.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:55:08
Speaker
I cannot stress this enough for women, especially young women whose lives are just getting started.
00:55:14
Speaker
Do not let a shitty man impregnate you.
00:55:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:55:17
Speaker
It will ruin your life.
00:55:19
Speaker
I have two cousins actually, who both got pregnant while they were still in high school.
00:55:24
Speaker
They both had scholarships, brilliant young women.
00:55:27
Speaker
It's now like, you know, that was 10 years ago that they, they had a kid with their high school sweetheart.
00:55:32
Speaker
He obviously dumped her pretty much as soon as she gave birth.
00:55:35
Speaker
Oh, my gosh.
00:55:36
Speaker
And then they're just like a single mother at 17.
00:55:39
Speaker
And it's a weird thing, too, because we don't do shotgun weddings anymore.
00:55:42
Speaker
And I'm not like at all an advocate of that.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:45
Speaker
Before they used to like force these guys to try to take responsibility.
00:55:48
Speaker
And now you get zero in type involved.
00:55:51
Speaker
I think I feel like what happens is.
00:55:54
Speaker
They just disappear if they want to disappear.
00:55:57
Speaker
Even that sometimes is actually better than the alternative than you get forced into a marriage with a guy and you end up on that subreddit who we're not going to name just as miserable because he's not going to do it.
00:56:07
Speaker
He's going to be passive aggressive the entire time and want to do zero fatherhood things because he feels like you tricked him and you dropped him, you know.
00:56:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:14
Speaker
And you know what, those, those, those shotgun weddings, especially if there's like an age gap or like, I've heard of so many cases of young women, you know, they're 16 and then they're dating guys like 22, 23, 24, 25, whatever.
00:56:28
Speaker
You, these shotgun marriages, you're forcing a 16 year old girl to marry a 25 year old guy.
00:56:33
Speaker
A lot of the times that's essentially a child marriage for her.
00:56:37
Speaker
And those relationships too often become, you know, abusive and,
00:56:41
Speaker
And just, it's like those Bible laws that are like, you know, the marry your rapist laws.
00:56:45
Speaker
Like nobody, nobody fucking needs that.
00:56:47
Speaker
Like, don't be tied.
00:56:48
Speaker
Don't be tied to the guy that fucked you in high school.
00:56:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:56:52
Speaker
And on that note, that's our show.
00:56:54
Speaker
Please make sure to visit our website at thefemaledatingstrategy.com as well as our new Patreon, patreon.com forward slash thefemaledatingstrategy.
00:57:02
Speaker
Thank you for listening, queens.
00:57:04
Speaker
And for all you lurking scrotes out there, die mad.
00:57:07
Speaker
And we'll see you next week.
00:57:10
Speaker
I love you.