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39. Down & Dirty With Beltane
18 Plays21 days ago
Carrot Vibes.
We’ve got that springtime mood, so please heed our ample content warning: we’re talking about sex A LOT today. Because it’s Beltane! The sexiest sabbat in the west! But of course, leave it to us to give it some weird energy. Hence, Carrot Vibes. <3
We're so grateful you're here! If you like what you’re hearing, you can find more exclusive content on Patreon: www.patreon.com/soulpodthepodcast. We can’t wait to see you over there!
You can also follow us on Instagram: @soulpodthepodcast, or email us directly at soulpodthepodcast@gmail.com.
Molly does tarot readings online and locally in Massachusetts: https://www.thehighpriestesscoaching.com/
Christina sells delicious microgreens in the greater Detroit area: https://www.christinasgreens.com/
Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Christina's Affirmation Journey
00:00:24
Speaker
What are you taking a picture of? ah You'll see it because I'm going to send it to you.
00:00:30
Speaker
Patience, my dear. ah Okay. Sending, sending, sent. Okay, so that means I have to look at it. Yes.
00:00:41
Speaker
Okay.
00:00:46
Speaker
yay good girl and there's four others posted around the apartment i'm proud of you for context to whoever's listening oh took christina's advice which is a rare moment in and of itself
00:01:09
Speaker
and i wrote on sticky notes I am worthy. And I stuck them up around my house.
00:01:18
Speaker
And I just sent her a picture of one, in five total. Oh, that's good. her and her I have the one that's ah on the cork board above my computer where I sit when I work from home or sit here recording with you.
00:01:34
Speaker
i have one that's on the door, the, the, the edge of the door frame. to my bedroom door. um i have one taped to the frame of bathroom mirror, ah one taped to the fridge, and one taped to the wall right next to where I hang my keys up.
00:02:01
Speaker
So in the spaces, in the spots where like I pass by frequently or stand in front frequently and for any extended period of time is where I, ah where I went, where I chose to go with the sticky notes.
00:02:16
Speaker
Cool. So I did it cause I'm worthy. I'm so glad. Yeah. Well, we are here.
Introduction to Beltane
00:02:30
Speaker
well we are here We are utterly determined to stay focused today.
00:02:39
Speaker
And we're here to talk to you about Beltane. Beltane. if you want to get real know-it-all about it, apparently in original, like, Gaelic, it's pronounced Bael'tana.
00:02:55
Speaker
Ooh. I don't know how that's supposed to be pronounced, or spelled, based on that pronunciation, but Gaelic does that where it's like it doesn't matter how it's spelled this is how it's pronounced and then you're just like what the actual fuck is happening oh my god yeah so Beltane um also known as Mayday And it is in the way it is, it is on the opposite end of like the wheel of the year from Samhain.
Beltane: A Celebration of Fertility
00:03:31
Speaker
And then in the way that Samhain is your big O, I feel like Beltane is my big O. Not the least of which reason being because it's literally about fucking and having orgasms.
00:03:44
Speaker
So on that note, let's get horny.
00:03:53
Speaker
Oh, I'm in for it today. Oh, yes, you are. Beltane. um Oh, boy. What was that? What was that?
00:04:05
Speaker
You ever heard of Pop Rocks? Are you fucking with me right now? What? Why would you ask me that question? I don't know. Have I ever heard of Pop Rocks? Are you kidding? It was an 80s candy. i don't know. Yeah.
00:04:16
Speaker
And my favorite Green Day song when I was 13 years old was Pop Rocks and Coke. Okay. I never heard of it. I never owned Green Day album, so can't say I've ever heard of that song. To your own detriment, but okay.
00:04:34
Speaker
I didn't take any notes, by the way. Okay. We're free balling it here. ah
00:04:42
Speaker
Maybe I should be nervous. I don't know. Should I be nervous? Should I have poor performance anxiety? Are we going make sex jokes the whole time? Oh my god. um Do it with me. Do it with me. Make sex jokes with me. no Like creep up some young guy
00:04:59
Speaker
You've never heard that before. no um man Are you talking about like a soup? No. That's what's funny. but Okay. It's, I guess it's just that like some young guy. Yeah.
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah. yeah When you say it fast enough, people think it's a soup, but if you listen to it, it's like, Yeah. yeah See, I didn't immediately like ah my, because I'm in sex mode. I'm like, yeah, cream.
00:05:27
Speaker
I know. i know. I know a cream pie. Oh boy. I love me a cream pie. I don't want to know about it. Too late.
00:05:39
Speaker
Keep it to yourself. No. no oh Well, the fun thing is about Beltane is that it's all about fertility. So cream pies are relevant.
00:05:51
Speaker
it's
00:05:56
Speaker
Are you sure this isn't going in a Patreon episode?
00:06:09
Speaker
That's the way it feels.
00:06:13
Speaker
oh Unfortunately, this is Beltane. We gotta talk about Beltane. We gotta talk about Beltane. We keep saying that.
00:06:25
Speaker
And we keep not. So let's do it. All right. So it's like it falls within. And this is all from my brain because I didn't take notes.
Beltane and May Day Traditions
00:06:37
Speaker
ah Falls within the time frame of like April 30th to like May 2nd. Yeah. So coincides with May Day.
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah. Well, actually, really, May Day is just sort of like it like co-opted it just in a less official way than like Christmas and Easter did. Yeah, but like also, i don't feel like May Day was ever really a Christian holiday at all.
00:07:03
Speaker
Not a modern Christian holiday at all, but it was a medieval Christian holiday for sure. Okay, okay. I mean, like I don't even necessarily know how much of like a claim that the church laid upon May Day, but it did like just sort of try to transform...
00:07:21
Speaker
ah the existing holiday into something that was more um pal palatable which is funny to me literally just use the same exact word at the same time jinx you owe me a soda um it's funny to me because like the traditional May Day celebrations always included a May pole and we all know what a May pole supposed to represent oh boy
00:07:52
Speaker
You know. no way. You knew this, didn't you? don't know. I don't remember if I knew this or not. Oh, well, you're talking like you had never heard of it or it never occurred to you. didn't remember, but like it may not have been relevant enough in my brain to like hold on to that information.
00:08:11
Speaker
Well, so it's supposed to be like they're women are dancing around some dude's wiener. That is the weirdest shit I've ever heard. I know.
00:08:22
Speaker
Weaving ribbons. I know. whatever. Crepe paper shit. Yeah. Decorating the dick. Yeah. What the hell, actually? What the hell, actually?
00:08:39
Speaker
i think I have another joke. Uh-oh. I just remembered, like... Because it's actually relevant to a maypole. Oh boy, here go.
00:08:51
Speaker
Oh my god. Okay, hit me with it. So, a Scotsman in a kilt was massively drunk.
00:09:02
Speaker
Or he could have been an Irishman. I don't know. mass if it's in a kilt, it's a Scotsman. Yeah, okay. Massively drunk and passed out by a tree. and Some young chickie comes along and finds him and decides she's like very curious about what's going on.
00:09:27
Speaker
and under the kilt. Yeah. so Okay. So she takes a ribbon from her hair. oh boy. a blue ribbon from her hair. Okay. and ties it around his wiener.
00:09:42
Speaker
Okay. And then when he wakes up, he sees what happened and he finds it and he goes, i don't know where we were. I don't know what we did, but we won first place.
00:09:54
Speaker
Oh my God. It's a Maypole joke, baby. im glad I remembered that one because, oh my God, it's been a long time since I heard it or told it
00:10:12
Speaker
hey Oh no! Oh no!
00:10:24
Speaker
you laugh. I can't stop myself laughing. Oh my god.
00:10:30
Speaker
I'm glad you liked that one.
00:10:44
Speaker
That's the perfect freaking Beltane joke, dude. It is. is.
00:10:51
Speaker
Wow. My eyes are watering.
00:10:57
Speaker
Wow. Okay.
Symbols of Fertility: Flowers and More
00:11:00
Speaker
okay Okay. Okay. Fertility.
00:11:08
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they always bring phallus energy, the phallus imagery, um and like the vagine imagery to wherever fertility is supposed to be relevant. So, in that vein, flowers are a thing, and i keep seeing flowers art being like flowers are pussies so you know just ask Georgia O'Keeffe right so
00:11:49
Speaker
you don't know her I know the name but I have no idea what the reference is she's the artist who historically well not even historically I mean it's historical I don't know when she was alive in the 20th century early 20th century I'm not sure I don't know She painted a lot of flowers and a lot of peaches.
00:12:12
Speaker
And it was all pussies. ah hu Like it was that was the whole point. ah So cool. Yeah. um Flowers. Did I ever tell you about the dirty show? Oh, no.
00:12:30
Speaker
it's a pleasure that Am I going to say that every time you bring something up today? It's a thing that they've done here in Detroit and I feel like it's got to be a traveling show. the like dirty show. Yeah, it always happens Valentine's weekend here in Detroit. okay Okay. And it might it might just be a Detroit thing.
00:12:49
Speaker
But because they actually put out emails like an all call, if you will, to like artists in the area to submit their work.
00:13:00
Speaker
Okay. But it's like all kinds of art of every type that has anything to do with sex. Cool. Or nudity or whatever. Okay. So it's not like a show show. Like it's like a well art show.
00:13:13
Speaker
There's yes. But I think that there was like a burlesque show on stage too at some point. I'd love to see a burlesque show someday. Yeah. Yeah. So of me and John went like years ago, like when we were kind of first together.
00:13:31
Speaker
and it was very interesting one of the pieces of art that i remember like viewing is a series where it starts out with a completely um unaroused vulva okay and then it's like at each stage of arousal a new picture is taken and it just shows how the vulva vulva changes throughout the arousal like process, if you will.
00:14:04
Speaker
Is there, are there, are there discernible stages that you can visually tell? Yes, because it's just like ah like Well, I know, I know. Penis gets engorged, right? No, I know that. But, like, I didn't realize that there was, like, stages that you determine. I don't know if, like, science says, like, there's specific stages with names or whatever. But, like, you can tell. Like, what if you just, set up a camera and do a time lapse? As it's happening, it gets fuller. Because the whole area becomes engorged with great blood.
00:14:37
Speaker
Right. So it becomes more sensitive because of that. Yeah. Well, right. Yeah, I know. And then after like orgasm, it's like different. You know what i mean? It's even more engorged.
00:14:49
Speaker
Even more? yeah because that's what of I would have thought it would start to like sort of deflate a little bit. Well, it depends on how long after. you're talking about like immediately after, it's going to probably at its fullest. but Gotcha.
00:15:04
Speaker
Interesting. Yeah. There was a lot of art and I cannot remember most of it, but I was, i guess, pretty captivated by that one. i don't know, like interested in it and whatever, for whatever reason.
00:15:18
Speaker
It's like, because it almost is like a scientific kind of study, but it was art, you know, was just interesting. Anyway.
00:15:30
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So Beltane. Yeah. Yeah, it's I mean, really, i mean, yes, it's interesting to me, too, because like there's i think it depends on the like what perspective you're looking at it from.
00:15:47
Speaker
Like because with the wheel of the year, when you're looking at it like the life cycle of the sun, you know, from, you know, starting at the shortest day going in a full circle.
00:16:02
Speaker
even like Easter is like all about like birth and renewal and stuff and like Ostara as well. Yeah. Birth and renewal, which like in my mind, I think initially i was like, it doesn't make sense though, because like the fucking happens at Beltane.
00:16:21
Speaker
But then i was like, okay, I think I, i think I had to, make the realization of like, that's like at like the sexual prime in the lifespan so cycle of like the sun rather than like the conception of the sun.
00:16:40
Speaker
If that makes sense. um I had to like come to that realization, but like, yeah, it's like the time it's the, it's the season in the year of like very horny youth.
00:16:56
Speaker
yeah that makes sense to put it b bluntly yeah it's when the young people be fucking yeah um yeah because if you think about easter or ostara it's it is supposed to be symbolic of fertility because of the eggs right right um but like but also like focused on like spring emerging like the flower buds and like little yeah green shoots and things are like right like if I think about it in the perspective of like the life cycle of a human where the the start of it is at you know yule you know
00:17:37
Speaker
um like Ostara does and Easter does have a very like childlike energy to it Yes. Yes. um And Beltane is where the child has grown into a teen slash young adult.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah. You know? And it's also just got that, like, I think there's really something to, something to be said about the energy that's in the air when this time of the year rolls around where the days are finally longer than the nights And they have been for a hot minute since Ostara.
00:18:17
Speaker
um and things are starting to bloom and everything is pretty and people have energy again. And when people have energy, guess what they do with it?
00:18:31
Speaker
For real. For real. um Yeah. I mean, historically, like, obviously not in, like, the Christian...
The Role of Fire in Beltane
00:18:43
Speaker
iterations of this uh this holiday but like historically it was very much like a alright everybody go fuck in the fields find a spot in the field ah get haunted out my goodness
00:19:03
Speaker
oh my god I don't know if we've ever talked about this before with like most of the um sabbats but one like they have elements right like yeah we know for a fact that Beltane's element is fire yeah and like it is technically also like hate this because of the stupid fucking like music festival that failed but like Beltane and Imbolc and Lamas and think Samhain yeah Samhain
00:19:44
Speaker
They're all technically fire festivals. Because the other four are the equinoxes and solstices. Like they have like a, like a astronomically significant reason for their date.
00:20:00
Speaker
So that's, I mean, that, that would be why um the solstices, and the equinoxes, each year there's a specific date assigned to them.
00:20:12
Speaker
But when it comes to Imbolc, Beltane, Lamas, or Lunasa, and Samhain, there's like ah kind of a range of three days.
00:20:27
Speaker
And it does fluctuate year to year, but it's always within that range of three days and not like determined based upon like the sky right and I think they're probably determined based on where the other holidays fall like because they're in between the other like the solstices the equinoxes right yeah but yeah like they are it is it is the element is fire but also like like they are specifically like fire festivals and not failed music festivals called fire festival I don't remember that
00:21:03
Speaker
I remember something about Fire Island. I don't know what that is, but Fire Festival was FYRE and it tried to occur in 2017. Okay.
00:21:15
Speaker
okay And it failed disastrously. i think we're thinking of the same thing, but for some reason I i equated it with Fire Island. it was on It was on an island.
00:21:25
Speaker
Okay. They are calling it, or okay, so I watched ah i watched a documentary about it recently, docuseries. um that I think is on Netflix. And there in that docuseries, they called it like like a Ponzi scheme.
00:21:43
Speaker
Interesting. Yeah. For the fact that like all the investor money that was being like paid in was simply going to pay back old debts. Unbelievable.
00:21:54
Speaker
Yeah. Watch it. It's pretty fucked up. It's funny too, because I was like literally watching it ah like play itself out on social media as it was occurring like not like on twitter the way the people were watching it but i like saw the like waves that emanated outward past twitter where it was like people are you know it was coming to people's attention like oh this shit happened and it was like bad ah and it's so interesting to watch
00:22:27
Speaker
a docuseries about an event that I actually watched and paid attention to yeah in real time in 2017. And apparently, so the guy went to prison, I'm pretty sure. um And somehow tried to make a fire festival to happen. Oh my God.
00:22:45
Speaker
This year. and only recently. This year, like literally like in the last couple of weeks, I saw like people being like Fire Festival 2 and I'm like, what the fuck?
00:22:57
Speaker
And then a Fire Festival 2 is being postponed and then it's being canceled. Good. Oh Like they didn't learn their lesson the first time. Oh my God. There's just a new crop of idiots to try and take advantage of or something.
00:23:13
Speaker
Well, the funny thing is like they literally like, I don't think it was that long ago that they released that docuseries or yeah, the docuseries. You said it's on Netflix? like I'm pretty sure. Alright, I'm just goingnna look for it real quick.
00:23:26
Speaker
We said we weren't going to get distracted. What do you like to do for to celebrate Beltane if you're like celebrating on your own?
Celebrating Beltane Today
00:23:34
Speaker
Besides have an orgasm? Yeah, besides that.
00:23:39
Speaker
ah Or actually fuck. Oh my goodness.
00:23:47
Speaker
Well, it's just like a very springtime-y celebration. um Buy yourself flowers. I love to. um Also, like, just sort of lean into, like, the sexy side.
00:24:01
Speaker
Like, even if you're not actually actively fucking, like, to lean into, like, you know, play yourself a song ah like or a playlist that, like, makes you feel good and, like, do a little dance and be like, I'm sexy, you know? Mm-hmm.
00:24:15
Speaker
And just be like, you know, just be feeling yourself. Give you that self-love, you know? ah And as with, like, all fire festivals, like, fire is a part of it. So, like, candles are a thing.
00:24:30
Speaker
If you can do a bonfire, even better. um
00:24:36
Speaker
Candles are definitely, like, way more of a specifically candlemas thing. Yeah. A.A. A.K.A. Imbolc. hu But also that's because like at that point in the year, there's probably still snow on the ground and you can't really go out and like make an effective bonfire.
00:24:54
Speaker
But ah beltine at at Lamas and at Samhain, bonfires are pretty, pretty ah doable.
Beltane Foods and Seasonal Eating
00:25:05
Speaker
yeah So yeah, if only I had a fire pit.
00:25:10
Speaker
um But yeah, like, Light a fire. light If you have a fireplace, light light a fucking fire in your fireplace. I wish I had a fireplace too. God damn. I guess I'll just have to settle for a candle. um Yeah. And like also in the way and because when I'm thinking about like foods, because I'm always thinking about foods when it comes to the Sabbaths in the way that like Ostara is the like early spring vegetables, vegetables,
00:25:43
Speaker
vibes because it's early spring it's the beginning of spring you get more into like the late spring season for vegetables with Beltane and actually if you will give me just a moment I'm gonna go grab my six seasons cookbook okay real quick because I want to take a quick look-see because off the top my head I can't think of late spring vegetables so hold on okay what is on your t-shirt today This is my t-shirt. This is a witch.
00:26:14
Speaker
Okay. um This is a t-shirt that I got from Blackcraft, the store. Okay. The brick and mortar store. I think I remember now and I think I remember seeing your t-shirt and being jealous of it. Because on the back it says um don't tell me how to be a witch. If I wanted rules, I'd go to church.
00:26:34
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love Okay. Season one spring. Oh, please tell me that there's early spring and late spring.
00:26:48
Speaker
Early summer is the next season. JK. Yeah. Well, the seasons as it says on this page right here, the seasons don't ever divide themselves neatly. So I would, I mean, it's not unfair though to call May early summer. Mm-hmm.
00:27:10
Speaker
in my opinion yeah i was thinking that earlier when i was thinking about um yeah it's almost like an early or pre-summer festival to me right when you were talking about it being more of a spring thing i kept feeling like yeah because it's like in the height of spring but it is early summer like it's pre-summer yeah because of the fact that the misleading name of Midsummer is not actually in the middle of summer.
00:27:41
Speaker
true um yeah So like the reason that this book is called six seasons is because it divides summer into three seasons. Oh, interesting. um Makes sense though.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah. And so like there's spring and fall and winter are their own by themselves. And then summer gets divided. So early summer. Yeah, that's May. um Let's take a look.
00:28:04
Speaker
Yeah, because early summer would be like May, June. And then midsummer would be June, July. And then late summer would be like August and early September.
00:28:19
Speaker
Beets.
00:28:22
Speaker
As I flip through the pages and this cord is in the way. Beets and then it gives you a whole bunch of recipes. so we're going to do a little flipsy flips. Carrots. Yeah, I was thinking of carrots. Yeah, some root vegetables here. Celery.
00:28:38
Speaker
Celery. Fennel. actually like fennel. and'm Not a like ton, but I do like it. I keep hearing people hate fennel, but...
00:28:50
Speaker
um what does it say about it it does say fennel is a love it or hate it vegetable yes that's true a vegetable um it's a vegetable oh it it looks like celery but like with a lot more like leafies interesting yeah it's like spread it's like a little thicker seeds so yes yeah yeah think that spice that yeah It has a flavor to it like when you use the seed form.
00:29:15
Speaker
who yeah says early season potatoes. So I guess that just means like you but you pick them before they're like be potatoes fully grown. Don't they call some of those fingerlings or some kind of thing like that?
00:29:29
Speaker
i think I've heard There's certain types of potatoes that kind of grow and look like long and slender, kind of like a finger. Yeah. Root vegetables really are the theme here because turnips is the next one.
00:29:40
Speaker
There you go. um And then we hit Midsommar. So.
00:29:47
Speaker
Root vegetables. And celery. I'm all about it. i like that. Yeah. Yeah. Carrots are pretty phallic.
00:30:02
Speaker
No, but it makes sense. um And it's like the. Yeah. When I think about like a carrot that's been grown and harvested in the early. early summer um versus a carrot that's been grown and harvested or it's been grown the whole time and harvested much later like in the late summer um there is ah absolute different vibe to the carrot mm-hmm yeah this is this is a This is an episode about ah this is and episode about carrot vibes. ah
00:30:37
Speaker
ah
00:30:40
Speaker
No, but like there's like still that lighter, springier taste yeah yeah to a vegetable that's been harvested before it's like fully grown.
00:30:52
Speaker
i wonder if this is true, but i but I would feel like an earlier carrot is sweeter. Yeah, I'd say it's like, it's probably like a lighter, lighter and maybe sweeter.
00:31:06
Speaker
Whereas a um later summer carrot is more of a heavier, earthier. yeah Taste, vibe, carrot vibes.
00:31:23
Speaker
It's the name of a new sex toy.
00:31:27
Speaker
Oh my god. Shaped like a carrot.
00:31:31
Speaker
You did say it was phallic. Oh my god. Okay. Molly, you gotta market that shit. Carrot vibes.
00:31:47
Speaker
I can't build a vibrator. not a technician. Ugh.
00:31:55
Speaker
Intellectual Property, SoulPod, the podcast, 2025. Spirit vibes. Spirit vibes. Please. Your new favorite vegetable. so my god.
00:32:09
Speaker
Excuse me while I gulp this water. second.
00:32:14
Speaker
Better than turnip vibes. Let's just be real here. Oh my god. Beat vibes. Beat vibes. Beat vibes.
00:32:25
Speaker
Stain it pink. Mmm, sexy. Stain it pussy pink.
00:32:35
Speaker
Oh If it ain't already pink, you're not doing your job right. Let's just be real, right? Anywho.
00:32:43
Speaker
anywho When I shimmy my shoulders, it means that I'm feeling sexy. That's so funny. so This is how I attract a mate. Oh my goodness, she's doing the dirty bird dance.
00:33:01
Speaker
Hey, what's that fucking video that's like, you want some fuck? I don't know what that one is. You want some fuck? I don't know that one. Oh my god, I'm gonna to find it and send it to you.
00:33:15
Speaker
Oh my. Make a note. Oh my god. okay I was about to say something and then I just lost it Oh. Oh no. I got it. I got it. Okay. So like you kind of know what the history of lipstick is right?
00:33:28
Speaker
No. Okay. Like From what I can remember hearing, anything that would cause your lips to be stained pink, whatever that was. like Because there wasn't like an actual lipstick back you know when people were medieval whatevers.
00:33:47
Speaker
So they would stain their lips pink yeah to resemble the nether region. Because I guess it was more of a prostitute...
00:34:00
Speaker
practice oh yeah because you remember the whole like or not you remember but like you know how back in the day you know they used to say like red lips were vulgar yes yeah yeah that makes total sense yeah so when i talked about tulip or sorry when i talked about turnip vibes and i said teen pussy pink it made me think about the origin of lipstick because it was the reason or like any any tinted pink lips on your face pink or red were like literally intended to mimic the look of the you know downstairs lips that's that's funny because it then reminds me and this is thanks to all the like
00:34:50
Speaker
sexy audiobooks i've been listening to but you know when they refer to the downstairs region as the nether lips um i hate that i know me too i know um but it it makes me think of like this very chicken and the egg conundrum of like which lips were first right um
00:35:19
Speaker
Like, has to be the nether lips because no nothing existed that didn't come from nether lips. So.
00:35:30
Speaker
So goofy. Have I said never nether lips enough to make you uncomfortable?
00:35:36
Speaker
Are you freaking out yet? No.
00:35:40
Speaker
I'm trying not to belch audibly onca on the microphone. Sorry.
00:35:47
Speaker
my god. oh Oh, man.
00:35:56
Speaker
And I just have that song that we're not going play. Because, you know, copyright. But that song that's so good called Time of the Season.
00:36:08
Speaker
ah And it's so like, it's got that sexy vibe to it. The one from the sixty s Oh yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah. And I'm just like, I just, I just picture like, you know, the sixties and the seventies when they had that like Renaissance revival fashion Yeah.
00:36:26
Speaker
era ah being like the costuming of a scene of medieval may day celebratoryness with time of the season in the background and everybody is just like consumed with this like horny energy and it's like what is possessing these people why are they all so lascivious and sinful uh-huh
00:36:56
Speaker
That's just playing in the background. It's the time of the season. For loving. Something like that. do Oh, yeah.
00:37:08
Speaker
What's your name? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Do you look like me? Right? Yeah, yeah. Has he taken any time? Take any time.
00:37:23
Speaker
To show. To show you what you need to do.
00:37:29
Speaker
it's duets i don't know the words though so i can't you got it you got it tell it to me slowly anyway unrelated also and we don't have to talk about this i just wanted to say in the same vein there's a similar song from a similar era and it's called magic man by heart oh yeah and i love that song and it came on my shuffle today while i was working And I love working from home because I just like sat there and listened to it like five times in a row and belted it out.
00:38:04
Speaker
The whole time I was just sitting there working. And it's all about a sexy man with magic hands. Dude. Are the people upstairs home during the day when you're working from home?
00:38:15
Speaker
I didn't get up to check to see if their cars were there. So I don't know, but they at least know I'm a good singer if they were. it's awesome Oh, man. If I ever, if I ever do karaoke again, and might have to do Magic Man.
00:38:32
Speaker
Dude. Mm-hmm. Do it. Mm-hmm. You'll need to be there to witness it because it probably won't happen again. so oh man. oh Yes.
00:38:44
Speaker
Beltanes. Yeah, and when you were painting the scene of like the 60s, 70s, renaissance, whatever hippies doing in their dancing around barefoot bullshit and like literally evoking the whole free love vibe the 60s and 70s. And yet it's so funny because it's like it's like I was picturing like that like vibe, that era, but like actually in the medieval times when this was a celebrated holiday,
00:39:15
Speaker
By peasants and stuff. um But they were all about like, the church rules all and you must be a virgin. Like, i was like, where did that go when this holiday rolled around? Right. Like, what was happening? Maybe you had to be young married couples or something.
00:39:34
Speaker
I never understood it. But at the same time,
00:39:39
Speaker
ah like, honestly, All that religion ever is to me in my mind, or at least it is right now because this is my train of thought, is just controlling people's sexuality. Mm-hmm.
00:39:54
Speaker
Or just their behavior in general. Yeah, controlling their bodies. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, controlling sexuality, controlling sexual expression, controlling bodies, controlling what you do with your body, whether that's, like, getting fucked or having or not having a baby. Yeah.
00:40:12
Speaker
That's all it's ever been. and it's funny because it's like... Like, history, and especially history, like, as it's taught in schools, does not ever make allowances for, like, nuance.
00:40:28
Speaker
And the fact that nothing was ever black and white, cut and dry. You know? And, like... No, people were fucking... in medieval times they were they were fornicating yeah it was if there's any like people who had to follow a rule of like maintain your virginity until you're married it was nobility yeah that's what i was about to say yeah and like the peasants i mean the peasants for sure were we like punished if they were like
00:41:06
Speaker
caught being lascivious bastards but at the same time like they weren't as easy to control because there were way too many of them um and so it's just sort of like man i i used to think to myself and i don't even i can't even pinpoint a win but like through my life i've wondered like ah what would it have actually been like to like grow up in that era and And like how much pressure would I have actually felt to not have sex until I was married?
00:41:41
Speaker
You know, just based upon the rules of the church as it was at the time, which was like mostly the Catholic church at the time. Cause i was before Mormonism and all the other weird culty evangelist types of churches yeah became a problem. um Really before even like Protestants broke off from Catholics and if we're getting real real, because like medieval times sort of ended in like the 14 ish hundreds. And that's when like Renaissance really was like what it was called.
00:42:15
Speaker
But like, yeah, before that, like the church, the Catholic church tried to control everything and couldn't control everyone. Right. And so it was just very much just like, Hey, first of all, you don't have the doctor sciences to be able to like,
00:42:29
Speaker
actually tell when someone's a physical virgin and also is that even a real thing not really kind of not really i don't know i don't know um second of all like would anybody have actually cared like i don't know it's like it just i guess it was a crapshoot based upon like who your parents were or who the local law enforcement was yeah Or who the local church enforcement was. Because, like, I don't know.
00:43:02
Speaker
Yeah. Because some people be sneaking and some people be, like, in broad daylight. Yeah. And it's like, they they got away with it somehow, sometimes.
00:43:16
Speaker
And I don't understand. And yet, like, our society... treats ancient times as well as like the 50s like it was such like the best golden years because everybody was virgins unless they were procreating yeah
00:43:36
Speaker
ah oh my god but that's not how it was and this has become an episode about fucking sexuality being controlled by the church oh man
00:43:52
Speaker
Yeah. But pleasure. It's a powerful thing. Yeah.
00:44:00
Speaker
But if we want to get down to the brass tacks about what my ideal Mabon day would be. Not Mabon. Jesus, you did this to me. You did this to me. My ideal Beltane day.
Beltane vs. Valentine's Day
00:44:13
Speaker
The ideal Beltane day would include some hot, hot sex.
00:44:21
Speaker
a I would say i it just occurred to me it's it's probably fair to even say that like this holiday is the right holiday for like ah romantic dinners and aphrodisiacs in your you know meal choices ah rather than like ah Valentine's Day.
00:44:43
Speaker
Don't forget the pheromone perfumes. True. Oh my god, yeah. very true no for real um and the lingerie but like yeah as I was thinking about because like we talked about how the like New Year's ah where that's being the socially or like in current like modern culture is like the time for people to like set their new goals and like try to start their lives fresh but like that's like the wholly inappropriate time to do that because like nobody has any energy in January it's the same vein where like Beltane is the right
00:45:35
Speaker
time of year to get a romantic holiday on your calendar and nobody feels sexy in February i have never in my life felt sexy in a February even though it was the month that I lost my virginity my ah but I have I only ever feel like a fucking trash goblin When February rolls around, I'm just like, like, just the tolls of winter have been taken.
00:46:10
Speaker
man. So. Yeah. Don't try to romance me in February. Romance me in May. Yeah. I'm trying to, like, think back historically on, like, Valentine's Day situations through my life.
00:46:26
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I've done the like traditional romantic date night sex time stuff on a Valentine's Day or at least the like nearest weekend where it got to be celebrated, you know, based on schedule. But like it didn't feel like the just the energy wasn't there. ah it was like going through the motions a little because it's it's Valentine's Day. So you have to, you know, I don't even know what the hell the history is for Valentine's Day.
00:46:56
Speaker
Well, apparently it's when there was like a massacre or something. i don't know. o um or Or like some sort of some sort of thing where there was like Saint Valentine like saved people who were in love or something. I don't know. i don't fucking know.
00:47:12
Speaker
If you're Catholic and you know because I know it's always Catholic because it's always the Catholics. ah Write it and let us know. Also RIP the Pope. Aww.
00:47:24
Speaker
Yeah, he was a good dude. Yeah. He was a very good dude. Yeah. You know what's really funny is there are people who are being like, J.D. Vance totally killed the pulp.
00:47:35
Speaker
um her And I saw somebody else that was like who somebody on TikTok who shared about how he was about to have some sexy time with somebody who was like ex-Catholic, but had a lot of like anxiety around sex or whatever. And he was just like, nothing bad will happen if you let yourself feel good. And then the next day the Pope died.
00:47:56
Speaker
um Reminds me, speaking of ah just a shitty coincidence. literally I know, right? It reminds me of related with the time of when i when I lost my virginity, that's a fake concept, um was February of 2013.
00:48:17
Speaker
And i was at the time working at a Catholic high school. So like, it was like being talked about how, you know, it was it was out on weekend because obviously, and then like, you know, ah the next weekday is when the The then-pope quit.
00:48:36
Speaker
oh oh He quit! Yeah, the jerky German one, right? yeah. Yeah, dude.
00:48:50
Speaker
and the girl i was and the girl that i was working with who i had confided in about my adventure she was like this is your fault oh my god she was kidding i hope she was she was joking she's great oh my god
00:49:10
Speaker
she's like she was like you did this oh my god
00:49:16
Speaker
It's like, even Catholic. um Oh my God. It was just funny. Funny as hell. So silly.
00:49:27
Speaker
Anyway. No, but like, for real, this is the time of the year, the season of the year that has the sexy vibes. Just has that energy.
00:49:39
Speaker
And if you feel it, embrace it.
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah. Because this is a sex positive podcast. Thank you. Yeah. Very much. Even though you might deal with me being slightly awkward sometimes.
00:49:58
Speaker
If you're awkward, it's probably just because I'm your daughter. Well, yeah. And not because you're actually uncomfortable about sex. i mean. Intrinsically. Intrinsically. Yeah, but back in my 20s, I was way more comfortable.
00:50:13
Speaker
Even in my mid-30s, I don't know, but it feels a little weird to talk about.
00:50:20
Speaker
Well, I am a spring chicken in my prime. o and know, I should be in my prime right now. you're I mean, you could be in your prime and just ah you know don't have occasion to take advantage of it.
00:50:37
Speaker
That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Tis with a Tis with a tis. Let's wrap it like a condom. Oh, God.
00:50:48
Speaker
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you ever heard of the people that have a saran wrap kink?
00:51:00
Speaker
What the fuck? They wrap their whole bodies in saran wrap. Why? don't know, dude. I don't know. You never heard of that though?
00:51:12
Speaker
No, and I'm not going to kink shame. oh But it seems like there's just going to be stuff out there to like test that theory.
00:51:23
Speaker
or to to test my boundaries about refusing to kink shame. Because why Yeah, don't know. I don't know. but don I don't. I don't. I mean, don't.
00:51:35
Speaker
eight
00:51:38
Speaker
all right this has been beltane thank you for joining us on this uh sexy sexy holiday maybe i'll make a concerted effort to dress sexy for beltane this year do it do it for yourself do it for no one but yourself girl yeah ah thing i probably will too honestly least at the very least like listen to songs that make you feel good you know yes yeah yeah yeah yeah give yourself that self love girl anyway yeah um yeah i love it it's so good it's i mean i feel like maybe potentially we left a lot to be desired in terms of like non-sex beltane topic or subject or facts um
00:52:34
Speaker
one molly facts but at the same time like it's it's um a harder vibe to explain and i feel like maybe i'm gonna as a result decide to or like resolve to um pay closer attention to like what's the actual vibe that i'm feeling aside from sexy time aside from horny what am i feeling
00:53:01
Speaker
because Is there any other feeling for you besides horny? Not all the time. No, not, not, not. there There are times when all there is is horny and nothing else. oh It's my curse to bear.
00:53:14
Speaker
Oh my God. But um yeah, it's a good one. It's a good levy dovy hot and steamy holiday.
00:53:26
Speaker
Everybody go have safe, responsible sex.
00:53:32
Speaker
yes emphasis on safe and responsible safe and responsible and ken can cancensual consensual and sensual consensual consensual cancensual
00:53:47
Speaker
it's a can-do attitude about consent ah oh my god um consent is important no means no You can withdraw your consent at any time during the proceedings.
00:54:04
Speaker
Anytime. Anytime. angel joe mine Don't let the boys tell you blue balls are a thing. Yeah, yeah even if they are, that's not your problem. Even if they are, they'll live. They won't die.
00:54:22
Speaker
Anyway. ah We're not going on that soapbox right now. Okay.
00:54:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's going to good. It's going to be a good holiday. I like it. even if i Even if I don't have sex with anybody because I'm single as fuck. um Don't forget to go buy your carrot vibes.
00:54:43
Speaker
i I'm sure there's a carrot vibrator out there. There probably is. I'll see if I can find one. and Yeah, dude. You can't claim it then.
00:54:55
Speaker
Alas. Carrot vibes.
00:54:58
Speaker
vibes Thank you for joining us on this beautiful springtime holiday day. And ah we are glad and grateful that you're here.
00:55:13
Speaker
We would also be glad and grateful to see you over on our Patreon. hu Do you want to tell them where they can find the Patreon in addition to being in the description of this episode, Christina?
00:55:24
Speaker
Sure. www. w ah w dot patreon dot com slash the sweet of course i go and up www dot something something no no you were on the right track before www dot patreon dot com slash soul pod the I can't remember.
00:55:53
Speaker
Soulpod the sex cast. Soulpod the soulpod. Oh my god. the hell is wrong with me www.patreon.com slash soulpod the podcast.
00:56:10
Speaker
You got it. It only took five times. Soulpod the sex cast. Try it.
00:56:20
Speaker
What did we call it last time? The sad cast? Sad pod, the soul cast. Sad pod, the soul cast. Soul pod, the sex cast.
00:56:33
Speaker
Oh my
00:56:36
Speaker
Where can they find us on Instagram, Christina? Oh, shut up.
00:56:44
Speaker
When did this become my job? Listen. ra listen I have so much that I already do. i know, I know.
00:56:56
Speaker
I know you know. I know that you appreciate it. On Instagram, we are at SoulPodTheSoul. can't say! You're getting performance anxiety. go to Instagram.
00:57:11
Speaker
Type the at symbol bowl in the search bar and then type SoulPodThePodcast. ah You got it. god cheese with baker What else? we have We have an email. so pa thepo at gmail dot com Yes.
00:57:35
Speaker
but Correct. What else? That's it. We don't have anything else. Find us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
00:57:45
Speaker
If you're not already listening on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Yeah, that's a little redundant. o Oh my god. Follow us.
00:57:56
Speaker
Smash that follow button. And leave a review and a rating. Give us five stars because we're your favorite. Yeah, we need some reviews, yo Yeah, we've got we've got ratings.
00:58:10
Speaker
ah but Review us. We got some five-star ratings, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We need more. And I guess, apparently, you can comment on Spotify?
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah, I noticed that. Comments section underneath each episode description. Because I don't listen to podcasts on Spotify. I listen on Apple Podcasts. Mm-hmm. And they don't have the count the comment section.
00:58:34
Speaker
But if you listen to us on Spotify, fucking comment, dude. We know how to find it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love it. But also email us because we like to hear from you.
00:58:46
Speaker
Especially email us if we're wrong about catholic Catholicism again, because we're always wrong about Catholicism. Neither of us have ever been Catholic. so Exactly. Oh my God. Yes.
00:58:57
Speaker
We are grateful that you are here. Thanks for listening. We literally so happy that we get to do this. So, yes.
00:59:08
Speaker
Happy and tired. Happy and tired. But that is the norm. How about this? Happy and grateful. Yes. and Accurate.
00:59:19
Speaker
Accurate. And we'll see you again next week for our 40th episode next week. What the hell? Seriously? 40th fuck yeah cool yeah although i still I mean like I'm gonna hold out for 50 obviously 50 is the nice big round number just like your birthday this year the but 40 is a big milestone too 40 is cool I'm excited yeah so yeah join us next week we'll be back again with our 40th episode we don't know what we're talking about yet but
00:59:56
Speaker
You'll find out with us. It'll be a surprise for y'all just like it is for us. Absolutely. ah right. We love y'all. Have a good night or day.
01:00:45
Speaker
what was that she's twitching her ear and it went almost in my mouth oh which means like tons of teeny little baby baby dog ear hairs went in my mouth so i'm like oh my god she does not know the meaning of personal space no