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Entering our Soft CEO Era
154 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, I’m sharing with you all the valuable lessons I’ve learned in my soft CEO era and encouraging you to experience it for yourself. So, grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let’s dive in!
We chat:
- Shifting your mindset around the word ”soft”
- What the soft CEO era is vs what it is not
- What being soft has taught me
- Letting go of who you’re supposed to be and tapping into who you’re meant to be
- The integral role boundaries play in this era
- Client success stories after entering the soft CEO era
- What happened to my business once I entered my soft CEO era
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Transcript
Societal Pressure & Passive Income
00:00:00
Speaker
The majority of the world is still telling us in a roundabout way or in a really obvious way that we have to do more, work harder, be on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and write more emails and launch a course if you want to make passive income and and and.
00:00:19
Speaker
We've been bombarded with messages centered around making 10K months or six-figure months. And while there's absolutely nothing wrong with money and numbers, this one-sided focus has created a bit of an imbalance in the way we run our businesses.
Introducing 'This or More' Podcast
00:00:39
Speaker
Welcome to This or More, a wild entrepreneurial podcast adventure for bold and brave creatives like you. I'm Tiffany Napper, your host, holistic business coach, corporate music industry dropout, a seasoned five-time multi-six figure entrepreneur, yoga instructor, and your go-to gal for heart-to-heart coffee chats.
00:00:59
Speaker
On this show, we're not just here to share stories. We're here to ignite a fire within you and make you realize that the reality you envision is just the tip of the iceberg. You're wildly capable of achieving that reality and so much more. You'll hear my personal triumphs and failures, along with raw, unfiltered stories of fellow creatives who've paved a path to a bank account that screams cha-ching and a life that is filled with joy.
00:01:26
Speaker
There will be live coaching, actionable tips that you can apply immediately, along with a hearty dose of kick in the pants motivation. So my friends, grab your cup of inspiration, settle in, and let's dive into another inspiring episode of This or More.
00:01:41
Speaker
Welcome back to another exciting episode of This or More, the podcast for entrepreneurs and business owners looking for more abundance and joy in their lives.
Lessons from the 'Soft CEO' Era
00:01:51
Speaker
I'm your host, Tiffany Napper, and today we have a thought-provoking episode that touches on the valuable lessons I've learned during my soft CEO era. In a world that often tells us to work harder, there's a very real hidden truth we need to explore. So let's dive in.
00:02:09
Speaker
First off, I want you to know that I'm sitting here in my yoga pants and cozy peace sign sweatshirt with a blanket on my lap and a candle lit, hydrating because I hear that's good for you. And I am not at all worried about what my face or my hair looks like or if the lighting is good or bad.
00:02:29
Speaker
These days, when we are running a small business and we use social media as a marketing channel, we can often feel the pressure to be on, on Instagram stories, on reels, on our networking game. So recording some of these podcast episodes in my cozy office with a candle lit, my hair in a ponytail has been the ultimate permission slip.
00:02:50
Speaker
I gave myself permission to show up. However, it felt good to me when recording some of these solo podcast episodes. I released the pressure valve and that is all part of this soft CEO era that I'm embodying. I embarked on my soft CEO era a little earlier this summer.
00:03:10
Speaker
I knew I needed to do some things differently because I could feel myself starting to medicate with work, avoiding whatever else was going on by just working a little bit longer every day.
00:03:23
Speaker
working a little bit on the weekend. And it's a pattern I refuse to repeat. Been there and done that. Listen to my story, episode one, if you haven't already. So I saw this trend on TikTok called the soft girl era, and I decided to put my own spin on it, the soft CEO era.
'Soft CEO' Experiment & Listener Inspiration
00:03:43
Speaker
And I approached it as a true experiment.
00:03:46
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completely unsure what the results would be, but trusting that the data would prove eye-opening, and that at the very least, my mind and my body would be grateful for the reset, the rest, and a little bit of a redirect. Now to be clear, I'm sitting here in October in my sweatshirt and yoga pants, very excited to be diving into quarter four with some really fun launches on the horizon, because you see, soft is not a synonym for lazy.
00:04:16
Speaker
soft is not a synonym for broke. More on what the soft CEO era is not in just a minute. But during this time of reflection, I've gotten some much needed clarity that will result in some big changes and some adventures that feel very aligned and exciting to me. This podcast is actually one of my soft CEO epiphanies.
00:04:39
Speaker
I have loved this time of reflection and softness, and I haven't been perfect. I've been like a puppy in training, noticing sheepishly when I accidentally, quote, get the command wrong, end quote, and start to do the opposite of trust or rest. But
00:04:58
Speaker
I hope that with every reflex that I course corrected, I'm strengthening my muscles of softness. Knowing myself better, in my opinion, is the ultimate glow up, right? Improving little by little, day by day, step by step.
00:05:14
Speaker
I've also really loved the response from you, my fellow high achiever, because I have heard from so many of you loud and clear on Instagram and my inbox in real life that you too are finding inspiration in this soft CEO era. It's really fascinating to see that sometimes we just need to witness that something is possible for someone else in order to believe it's possible for us too.
00:05:44
Speaker
Now, before I share with you the three lessons my soft CEO era has taught me so far, let's get really clear on what the soft CEO era is not.
Debunking Myths of the Soft CEO Era
00:05:54
Speaker
It is not leaving our success to chance because we quote, got our vibes right, end quote, or quote, put it on our vision board, end quote, right? It is not, we're out there getting pedicures and massages while we magically stack some cash.
00:06:12
Speaker
It is not manifesting it because we thought about it long and hard and we just wanted it and so therefore it is. It's none of that. It's not taking days and weeks and months off without doing any of the legwork that will be required for the business to be on solid ground. It is tuning into our intuition rather than ignoring it.
00:06:37
Speaker
It is putting our own desires and thoughts above someone who might be selling toxic lies on Instagram. It is doing what we know we need to do to move the needle and trusting that that is enough.
Intuition vs. Societal Pressures
00:06:52
Speaker
The majority of the world is still telling us in a roundabout way or in a really obvious way that we have to do more, work harder, be on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and write more emails and launch a course if you want to make passive income and and and.
00:07:12
Speaker
We've been bombarded with messages centered around making 10K months or six-figure months. And while there's absolutely nothing wrong with money and numbers,
00:07:25
Speaker
This one-sided focus has created a bit of an imbalance in the way we run our businesses. It's done a disservice to the inner knowing that lies within all of us. When we ignore our inner knowing, we can easily get off track, lose our sense of purpose, and wind up cruising down burn out lane. So when we step back and say enough,
00:07:50
Speaker
I am enough. I am doing enough and I trust that if I rest when I'm tired or I go left when everyone else is going right, it will be okay. When we do that, we are standing up not just for our energetic thresholds, but for our intellect and our intuition.
Importance of Rest and Authenticity
00:08:10
Speaker
In our soft CEO era, we pull back when we're exhausted so that we can go forward full speed ahead with a full tank of gas. In our soft CEO era, we romanticize the ordinary because creating more joy is just as important as gaining more Instagram followers or earning more money. In our soft CEO era, we can have epiphanies and celebrate our wins
00:08:36
Speaker
that are greater than anything we could have possibly created had we been running on empty. So here are the three lessons I learned from my soft CEO era. Lesson number one, being soft requires you to be more authentic.
00:08:55
Speaker
It requires you to be more real. That hard front that we're showcasing when we say, I can do this, I can do more, I'm going to reach this milestone and then that milestone, that's not our most authentic self. That's a combo of our competitive drive, our masculine energy, and our ego. But when you decide to be soft, well, that's a more balanced and true you.
00:09:20
Speaker
That's you giving your external desires and your internal needs equal love and support. That's you saying no when you want to say no or leaning in when you want to lean in because it feels good, not because anyone else is judging you or influencing you. That's your more authentic self.
00:09:41
Speaker
When I decided to embark on this soft CEO journey earlier this summer, the first thing I did was share it with my email subscribers and my Instagram followers. And that was scary because I had no idea how this whole thing was going to shake out. But I also knew that if I was gonna give this a true go, the first step was to be open and honest about it from the start to let some walls down and be vulnerable and trust that there would be a story to share at the end of it, no matter what happened, right? And hopefully it would be a really good one.
00:10:11
Speaker
More on that in a minute. But being in my soft CEO era meant I would have to be transparent. I would have to be more authentic. I would have to be more vulnerable, right? Embracing vulnerability and kindness is an act of bravery. Brene Brown has been telling us that for years. One of my favorite quotes from Brene Brown, authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.
00:10:41
Speaker
That, my friend, is exactly what you do when you say yes to your soft CEO era.
Prioritizing Joy in Business
00:10:50
Speaker
Lesson number two, prioritizing joy will feel scandalous and really juicy because it works. When you are excited about what you're doing, that joy is infectious.
00:11:06
Speaker
Think about a time when you walked into a boutique and the person on the sales floor seemed bored, uninterested in you or their job. Maybe they barely greet you. They don't give you any suggestions or feedback or offer to help at all when you're walking around. Maybe when you're trying on outfits, they just kind of like look around like they didn't want to be there.
00:11:29
Speaker
Now imagine a scenario where you walk into a boutique and the salesperson greets you with a smile and they're, you know, appropriately helpful, not too much, but not completely ignoring you. And maybe when you give that new dress a twirl in the mirror, they're like, Oh my gosh, that dress was made for you.
00:11:49
Speaker
Which one are you more likely to buy from? The happy one, right? The one that shows enthusiasm and excitement that actually expresses some joy. So let joy happen in your life. And if it's not happening right now, how can we make more joy for you? How can we create more joy in your life? When I decided to launch this podcast,
00:12:15
Speaker
I made a vow to myself that I wanted it to feel fun. That was the only word I could come up with. My business coach was like, okay, what's your goal? And I was like, to have fun. I said it over and over again. I was like, how many times can I say fun? It became a little bit of a joke. But also, it was very clear to me that that really was my only desire.
00:12:35
Speaker
that I wanted to have more fun as I was owning and running this business and getting on a microphone and telling stories and connecting with you in this deeper level felt fun to me. I did not want any of that intense pressure that I had to live up to some expectations or mimic the success of someone else or study these podcasts do's and don'ts. I just wanted to show up and be uniquely me.
00:13:01
Speaker
tell my stories, tell the things that have impacted me, that I've noticed impact my clients. Can't wait to get some of them on the mic with you and share some of those stories, but I just wanted it to feel fun because I knew that if I was having fun, you as the listener would have some fun too.
00:13:19
Speaker
And the same thing goes for my one-on-one coaching packages that have been getting snatched up like that last Snickers in the Halloween Bowl. I decided to have a little fun with it. I decided to create an offer that brought me joy. I decided to wrap it up with a really pretty bow so that I felt good presenting it to someone. And perhaps most importantly, I decided to let go of the pressure around it all and trust that my dream clients would say a full body yes. And guess what? I am signing up.
00:13:48
Speaker
My dream clients left and right got the chills right now just thinking about it. I'm so obsessed with my clients I'm so obsessed with what I get to do on a daily basis and I know without a shadow of a doubt That if it didn't feel fun to me and if it wasn't bringing me joy, I wouldn't be in this boat right now. I Actually did this exercise with a client in a coaching session yesterday show so
00:14:12
Speaker
I'll explain how you can try this on for size. Okay. We were working on a new potential package for her to present and we were kind of trying to decide like how much would you want to charge for this? And I could tell that there was a disconnect or between what she wanted to charge and what she thought someone would pay. Have you ever been there? Probably so. Right.
00:14:34
Speaker
Well, I want to charge this much, but I'm not sure they're going to pay that. So I said, okay, we're going to take all of that off the table. We're not going to think about what is industry standard, quote unquote, and we're not going to think about what you think they can afford because we don't actually know that. And instead, let's create a package that would feel so exciting to you to present.
00:14:56
Speaker
And so much so that you actually wouldn't care if someone said yes or no, because you would know if they said yes, it's a slam dunk and you were gonna like wow and delight them. And if they say no, we'll go and find the next person who will say yes. So she was like, oh, this is fun. Exactly. So we put together this beautiful package that I don't think I've ever seen any other. She runs a PR firm. I've never seen another PR firm offer.
00:15:25
Speaker
It felt unique, it felt full, it felt like if a client was offered this, how could they possibly say no? It solved so many problems in one fell swoop. It had legs, it had sustainability behind it. And when we came up with the price, added everything up and came up with the price, she was like, oh. Oh, that doesn't actually sound too expensive.
00:15:54
Speaker
Exactly. This is what happens when you decide to create more joy in your business, to put it on the forefront, no longer putting it on the back burner, but making it a priority in your business and how you operate your business. It's challenging, I get it, for a lot of entrepreneurs to put joy at the forefront of their lives and their businesses. And I think it probably just all goes back to this hustle culture that we've been living in for eons.
00:16:23
Speaker
somewhere along the line, someone told us that you can't have fun and make a lot of money. Let's prove them all wrong. Okay. I think, you know, another reason we struggle to put joy first is because some of us, you know, we tie some self worth to the success and growth of our business. That one hits home for me.
00:16:44
Speaker
And that can make you feel like you need to be doing more, constantly achieving. And oftentimes that comes at the expense of your own wellbeing and your own happiness. And as someone who sacrificed it all to make more money or to launch the next thing, let me just tell you that no one wins when your nerves are so frazzled that you start snapping at your loved ones.
00:17:09
Speaker
that no one wins when your body gives out on you and you wind up sick again or in the hospital or worse. No amount of money in the world can repair the loss of friendships or relationships or your health all because you prioritize that next dopamine rush, that next hit, that next, oh, my business hit this new milestone. When you prioritize that over your quality of life,
00:17:38
Speaker
No amount of money can repair what you lose in that scenario.
00:17:45
Speaker
In the words of one of my favorite artists of all time, Taylor Swift, I want you to shake it off and let's go have some fun out there. Repeat after me. You can be filled with joy and make a lot of money. You can be filled with joy and make an impact. You can be filled with joy and be an inspiring leader, a wonderful mom, a kick-ass CEO. Full stop.
Setting Boundaries for Success
00:18:11
Speaker
Lesson number three, boundaries matter.
00:18:15
Speaker
Boundaries are a huge part of this soft CEO era. Boundaries around who has access to you, absolutely, and boundaries for yourself to abide by. So for example, if you said, I'm only going to work eight hours today, you're actually only going to work eight hours today.
00:18:38
Speaker
You're not gonna work into the wee hours of the night if you're a morning person. And if you're a night owl, you're not gonna force yourself to start working at 8 a.m. You know, the real flex is keeping your heart soft and your boundaries strong.
00:18:54
Speaker
I have another client who very recently decided to put up some very strong boundaries. She realized that she was the one suffering at the expense of everybody else being able to get access to her 24 seven and pick her brain and lean on her for this and that to support this and that. So she said, Nope, okay, I have got to put up some very firm boundaries and put myself first.
00:19:20
Speaker
And the results have not surprised me in the least, but you know, it's still really fun and exciting when you're like, oh my God, I can't believe that happened. But the results have spoken for themselves. She was like, it has been wild. Who's come knocking? What I've been able to realize was really draining me versus what was actually like, felt like a mutual exchange of energy. And she was in a slump of the business and she said, it's been wild.
00:19:48
Speaker
who has come back out of the rafters like old clients that she hadn't heard from in years and not just coming back up but being like hey I've got a five-figure project I need to work on or I need you to jump in and do this $10,000 gig and left and right just these like abundant opportunities that felt really fruitful and fulfilling for her
00:20:11
Speaker
that suddenly appeared when she got really clear on who could have access to her and who couldn't. When she got really clear that she needed to put herself first. Her healing journey, her internal healing journey needed to come first. She became this like beautiful soft CEO and the results are speaking for themselves.
00:20:33
Speaker
I did something similar. I cut off access for potential clients to chat with me about my offerings. Usually I had, you know, kind of this revolving door and I would be able to jump on a, I call them conscious conversations. It's a sales call, right? But I love the term conscious conversation because we're going to get on a call together and find out if we're a good match, where you are,
00:20:56
Speaker
if I can help, if we like each other, right? But I cut off access for that for a little while and I sent everyone instead to a waitlist.
00:21:06
Speaker
It was terrifying. I was not sure what would happen. And I knew that there was a small chance that I would lose some people that were ready to move forward immediately. And I had to be okay with that. And I had to really trust that the people that were right for me and that I could serve would be ready when I was ready, right? That the timing would align. It was a true trustful. And so I sit here today. Here's a big win for you of this soft CEO era journey.
00:21:36
Speaker
Here I am. I haven't even officially opened the doors to that waitlist yet. That's coming in November. But meanwhile, I've had so many of my current existing clients literally asking me how they can continue to work with me. And I'm always going to give my existing clients priority news flash. So I was able to.
00:22:00
Speaker
graciously, with so much joy, say to them, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you asked. I would love nothing more than to continue this journey with you. Here's how we can take that next step. Huge win, because here I am on the cusp of opening the doors, launching, if you will, back into my one-on-one offerings, and I already have so many contracts signed, deposits
00:22:29
Speaker
paid, signed, sealed, delivered, right? Like I never would have dreamed I would be in this boat right now feeling this good and this excited about the future. And I truly believe I wouldn't be in this boat had I not limited my distractions, limited the access to me and trusted that upholding some boundaries would not impact my bottom line. I'm going to say that one again.
00:22:55
Speaker
Upholding boundaries will not impact your bottom line. I'm coming off a $54,000 plus week in sales. All without launching. All without pushing.
00:23:14
Speaker
all without getting on sales calls, without doing anything other than showing up in the world, protecting my space and extending my offers when it feels good and right. So this soft CEO era has only just begun. I'm so excited to see what other lessons come my way and what other wins I'll get to share with you. And of course, I'm really excited to hear the wins that it brings for you.
00:23:43
Speaker
But if my soft CEO era inspired you to set some firmer boundaries to say no when you would have begrudgingly said yes, hallelujah. Oh my gosh. Yay. If your soft CEO era inspires you to book that dream vacation, your bungalow in Sayulita is waiting. Wink, wink. I've got a retreat that might be calling your name.
00:24:08
Speaker
Hallelujah, you deserve it. But if my soft CEO era triggered you a bit, I want to encourage you to dig a little deeper. What are you really upset about? What's at the root of your feelings? Because I'd be willing to bet it has nothing to do with me and something to do with the lack of boundaries you've put in place. Remember, your boundaries aren't just about not letting someone in. They represent the standards you hold for yourself.
00:24:39
Speaker
And if you've been triggered, maybe it's not because of me, but because you know you've been pushing yourself too hard without prioritizing rest. Or because, you know, when I ask you when was the last time you had a little fun in your life, you don't love the answer. So where can you have some fun today? Any little bit counts. Any little bit counts.
00:25:06
Speaker
Maybe it just means that you're going to go to a favorite coffee shop and indulge in your favorite latte and tune the world out for 15 minutes. Maybe that feels like fun. Maybe it means you're going to go in a little joy ride in your car at the end of the day and watch the sunset and listen to a favorite album from your teenage years that takes you back in time.
00:25:28
Speaker
And like I said, maybe it means you're going to book that vacation that's been calling to you or that dreamy retreat that you've been secretly yearning to go on, but haven't given yourself permission to say yes. Say yes today. Examine where you've possibly been putting someone else's needs above your own and who really wins in that scenario because it's not them and it's definitely not you.
00:25:59
Speaker
So where are you letting someone else's needs or wants or feelings carry more weight than your own? And now can you flip that script? Can you put yourself first today? Can you believe that you can say no and still be a kind person because you absolutely can? Can you trust that boundaries actually deepen healthy relationships because they absolutely do?
00:26:28
Speaker
Because of the boundaries I set up with the outside world, I was able to be fully and absolutely available for my current clients and friends. And as I've already mentioned, that translated into 12-month contract sign seal delivered
00:26:44
Speaker
With the same amount of effort I spend brushing my teeth every morning. Okay? Embrace your soft side. Let it be easy. There's a really powerful quote by Dr. Jaya John that reframes this notion of boundaries, so I want to leave you with this today. Your boundary need not be an angry electric fence that shocks those who touch it. It can be a consistent light around you that announces, I will be treated secretly.
Embracing the Soft CEO Approach
00:27:13
Speaker
Today, trust that you can and you will put yourself first and the business won't crumble, the people won't disappear, the people that matter at least, and the mental clarity that you gain will do you and everyone around you so much good.
00:27:32
Speaker
Remember that being a soft CEO can be a powerful and courageous choice in a world that often pushes us to work harder to be stronger.
00:27:45
Speaker
Embrace your intuition, prioritize joy, and set healthy boundaries. And then come back and tell me what happens. I can't wait to hear. Thank you for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please hit that follow button so we can stay connected and continue on this journey. And bonus points if you share it on Instagram and tag me at Tiffany Napper so that we can recruit more incredible, intuitive, creative, high vibe business owners who are ready for more.
00:28:16
Speaker
I'll see you next time.