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Quit Kickin' Chickens Ya Dirty Allan
10 Plays11 days ago
Today we discuss a time when we summoned strength and courage that we didn't know existed!
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Transcript
Introduction and Setting the Scene
00:00:00
Speaker
And we are live. Action, go. All right. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and everything up, down, and all around that binary. I am Danny Guarantee here with my friend, Adam.
00:00:13
Speaker
yeah do you Great. Thank you very much. All right. We are keeping this one to 20 minutes. We are going to be even 15. I doubt it, but let's see. So if we can see you're under a 10. Oh boy. i don't even know if this would be worth it then.
00:00:28
Speaker
Adam, do you have anything before we get the question going? Yeah. Hurry Actually, no. I'm still wearing my white pants from last episode. Go ahead. It's been a
Question: Surprising Acts of Bravery
00:00:39
Speaker
week. All right. It's been a week. hasn't. It's been like three minutes.
00:00:43
Speaker
All right. Here's the question for today. Have you ever surprised yourself by being braver than you thought you could be? What happened? Who asked the question? This is asked by... Who cares?
00:00:53
Speaker
Who cares? This was asked by drydesign5506 on You're trying to hide drydesign5506 from me, Danny? Drydesign. Drydesign. Uh-huh.
00:01:08
Speaker
I'm sorry. you, Drydesign, for the question. i was I was fascinated by drydesign. I didn't hear your answer. Was I brave enough to do what? Drydesign. Have you ever surprised yourself by being braver than you thought you could be?
Danny's Story of Unexpected Bravery
00:01:19
Speaker
What happened? Oh, man. Have you ever surprised yourself by bri by how brave you are? ah Do you already have one since you chose the question? I Yeah, I got one. why don't you go first?
00:01:30
Speaker
All right. So I was in the Boy Scouts when I was growing up. Whoa. and i know And one of the things we did while we were away at our like little week-long camp thing where you'd earn all these different camping merit badges and whatnot.
00:01:46
Speaker
and They had this thing called COPE. it stood for something. I don't remember what, but, um it was kind of like one of like the, I want to say elite clubs, but it was like, you know, Oh, you know, you were the cool kid. You did the cope thing.
00:02:04
Speaker
Um, and it was a lot of like rappelling down walls and using different knots to save yourself in simulated situations. Like, and all ended on the last day with you having to do an obstacle course that took place like 30 feet in the air with a harness on and somebody else, you know, holding the rope in case you fell, who also was in cope.
00:02:31
Speaker
And, uh, I am better now than I was. But back then, I did not like heights. I absolutely hated heights. Still don't love them.
00:02:42
Speaker
But back then, I hated them. And um yeah it was finally my turn to do this obstacle course. And it was like climbing up a ladder that was only connected in the middle.
00:02:56
Speaker
So the whole ladder could flip upside down if you kept your weight, if you didn't like keep your weight center enough. You had to jump from ah plank of wood to plank of wood with nothing but like a little rope to hold onto above your head.
00:03:13
Speaker
ah You had to jump ah do like a swinging rope. So you had to jump on the rope and and swing to the other side. And then you had to rappel down. And there might have been one or two more things. But um I was scared shitless. I was terrified.
00:03:32
Speaker
And um it gets to be my turn. And I start going up. And I do the whole thing first try. I get back down and everybody's like, you did that so fast. You didn't even hesitate.
00:03:48
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, I don't really know what happened. i was like, I was scared. But I would expect that my legs would have been weak or shaking or whatever, but they weren't.
00:04:01
Speaker
And my instructor came over and he was like, yeah, because you were um mentally terrified. You were you were you psyched yourself out. Right. You got yourself so mentally scared of this.
00:04:14
Speaker
But physically, your body was not scared. um ah And that's kind of something that always stuck with me is to listen to my body, too, when I'm being afraid is like, am I actually scared or am I psyching myself out and making it worse?
00:04:30
Speaker
And ah yeah, the fact that I did that at all to this day is like, you know, one of the quote unquote bravest things I ever did. and I can't
Adam's Childhood Courage
00:04:41
Speaker
believe I did it. It doesn't sound like much now, but back then it was huge.
00:04:46
Speaker
ah So, yeah, that was my surprising myself story with bravery. Yeah, i think sometimes it's easy to conflate like your body's getting into some sort of ready mode, whether it's ready to run, ready to fight, ready to, you know, whatever that may be. Right.
00:05:00
Speaker
Uh, so, but it's easy in that moment to just be like, oh, this must mean fear. And like, you just, you get in your own head about it when your body's actually like, let's go towards this thing. But you're just like, you have to interpret it. And sometimes when you're not used to taking action, you don't like realize just how capable you are of it. Cause your, your brain thinks it means to run when your body's like, I'm fucking ready to go. You know?
00:05:23
Speaker
Yeah. It's like my body and my mind were on different ends of the fight and flight. You know, my body was ready. It was like, yeah, let's, you know, let's show them what we're made of. Let's jump these gaps. Let's swing from these ropes.
00:05:35
Speaker
And my mind is going like, hey, I feel jittery. I think I'm scared when really I think I was excited. think, you know, my body was like, yeah, let's do this. Yeah. I mean, it's how some people realize that they're turned on by fear or that they're turned on by, you know, I did not realize that being a sub.
00:05:54
Speaker
I was like, yeah, I did not realize that part. Okay, just making sure. Yeah, no. Not that I'd shame you, I was just saying. No. That's probably how people about definitely was not turned on while I did that.
00:06:05
Speaker
Like, by the time you get done jumping those edges, you're like, man, I am like... Royal. I don't know what's edging more, the edges or me. Yeah, I'm like, I am raging. i am very aware my mom listens to this right now.
00:06:19
Speaker
She probably doesn't listen to it anymore. She probably stopped listening after the last episode. ah Yeah, probably. Yeah. With the last episode? No, she she stopped listening long before. Oh, my son is talking about his sex life. Let's hang up. No, she probably stopped listening after we took our first her second hiatus. She'd be like, ah, okay. there' I doubt it because she kept asking when we were going to restart. So I told her when we. Well, maybe I wonder when the episode comes out of me, ah you know, ranting about food banks and supporting your food banks. wonder if she listened to that one all the way through.
00:06:50
Speaker
She'll tell me, I'm sure.
Overcoming Podcast Hesitation
00:06:51
Speaker
just Yeah, but I gave you guys mercy. If I start randomly getting texts from her that seemingly have no context or anything, I'll let you know, because that's usually she heard it in an episode and then text me about it. But, you know, we record these some of these weeks in advance.
00:07:09
Speaker
Right. So I forget all about it. And then suddenly I get a text message like, oh, that thing you said really makes sense. I'm like, I know. Yeah. But what thing? Yeah, i I'm a very smart boy. Yeah. Great.
00:07:22
Speaker
Let's see. I'm trying to think a one for me. The first one that like came to my mind is I think I was like five. And we used to go up to she wasn't really my grandma or my grandfather, father but my uncle would take me up to go see his mom and dad like and they lived on top of this giant.
00:07:44
Speaker
Hill and the driveway was this big fucking rocky goddamn mess to get up. And at the top of this hill, which kind of overlooked what they called Shearville, which was their last name was Shear. And all the other kids had property down below like across the road on like these other like swaths of land and stuff where you could see most of where they all live and so they called that like sheerville and we'd go there and there was all these chickens always running around and there was one just asshole rooster they had pigs and all sorts of shit there's this one asshole rooster that just wanted to attack every fucking person that walked near it and like my i went up there with my uncle and my little cousin natasha who
00:08:21
Speaker
you know, at the time, like I'm probably five or six, maybe she's more like three or four. And like, I'm very protective of my cousins. Like they're small. Anybody who gives them shit, anybody who calls them a name, I've already learned to just start throwing hands at kids that like, if they fuck with anybody, I've kicked my own cousin in the dick. Who's like much, much bigger than me. He was like,
00:08:39
Speaker
20 something years old. And I made him drop to the ground because he called his own daughter, something really shitty. Like, don't you fucking say that. And i kick him in the deck. he's like Adam, you don't kick people in the balls. I'm like, well, fucking don't say mean things about my cousins.
00:08:51
Speaker
And so like, i was already kind of in this mode, but then like i go in there and we're hanging in and, and, and uh, pap's house. And, uh, I hear my, my, uh, and i I was also afraid of that rooster. Don't get me wrong. Like I didn't want to fun go near it when it was around. Like, cause it was just a very, it was just mean dude. And it was just fucking mean rooster.
00:09:10
Speaker
And like, like I remember we we're inside and I heard Natasha screaming outside and I was like, Oh shit, she must've fallen. I go outside and she has like a, an old Halloween bucket on her head that like she, again, she's little, I think she put it on her head cause she thought it would protect her from the rooster.
00:09:26
Speaker
And like, she's laying on the ground or she's sitting on the ground. She's crying. She doesn't have any visible damage. I think it must've just scared her or, you know, jumped at her and she fell or something, but he was nearby.
00:09:36
Speaker
and like, just as afraid of i as I was of that thing, if I, if it was just me in that moment where like I can see her playing his day right now, she's sitting on the ground in between two cars,
00:09:47
Speaker
She's crying her eyes out. She has a bucket on her head to strap that you, the handle of the buckets like coming down over her face a little bit. Cause it's turned sideways. And I can see that little white bastard just sitting there fucking, just like clucking around her.
00:09:59
Speaker
And I was like, Oh no, you fucking didn't bro. And I went over and I pulled like a link from legend to Zelda, dude. I kicked that fucker so hard. yes I kicked that fucker so hard. He went flying. And i don't mean like, you know, I wasn't so strong to send him like 30 feet, but I kicked him up into the air and he had to flap his wings to come down somewhere else away from me.
00:10:17
Speaker
And like, you know, and then once I saw that she was okay, I just started fucking chasing him until like he went up and do his coop like through the chicken wire and I couldn't get to him. But I felt like such a badass that day as a little kid. So I was like, yeah, fuck it. I stood up to the to the but the schoolyard bully or some shit.
00:10:33
Speaker
You know, this cock of the walk. And I was like, I'm just sitting there looking back at his way. Like I was the cock of the walk. I showed that son a bitch. He's boss. I'm the alpha cock. Now I'm the alpha cock. Now don't you mess with, I'm the rooster.
00:10:45
Speaker
And so like, you know, and then Natasha, I got up and we went back in and I don't remember what much from that day beyond that, but I just like, that's the first thing that like stuck into my brain of like, I just remember clear as day, just like punting a fucking chicken that I was otherwise deathly afraid of. Cause I wasn't like a big kid.
00:11:01
Speaker
So like, and this thing was still like at least belly button high to me. Like it was, those things are fucking scary, man. And they're mean, anybody says roosters are scary. Dude, a pissed off chicken's fucking terrifying. Yeah.
00:11:13
Speaker
And like that thing was just always fucking angry. And I was just like, you know, nobody wanted to go near it. And even, ah even pap and uncle Pete would be like, just walk around him. Don't go near him. He might bite you. He's an asshole. You know, but like the the moment he gave Natasha trouble, I just, I just, everything went out the window and I was just like, no, you fucking didn't. Someone's dying today.
00:11:33
Speaker
it's Like I just ran out there like he was a schoolyard bully. Like he was one of my meaner cousins. Like he was like some asshole kid that came to visit. Like he was a bully at school. I was like, ah, just fucking, I remember just kicking that son bitch so fucking hard and then feeling like the toughest dude on planet earth being like, yeah, I fucking killed a dinosaur today.
00:11:50
Speaker
You know? So, yeah, that's the first thing I can think of. sure there are recent. That's a really good one. Hey, yeah you want a nice recent one that I think is actually very brave um that deals with the both of us? Does it involve you talking to strangers or something?
00:12:05
Speaker
It has to do with us having a show where we put our opinions on the Internet. ah Yeah, that's true. that's That's very brave. and You were a little, I forgot that you were a little hesitant at first.
00:12:18
Speaker
I was very, I had to kind of talk you into it. And then you kind of talked yourself into it. Well, what can I say? You bring out the best in me. It's like, this was something I always wanted to do, but, um, yeah, I was a little chicken shit about it. I didn't, yeah, i was worried like, oh, what if, you know, it doesn't work. I don't think I could do this alone ever. Uh, I need somebody to bounce off of, but Having that, yeah, it makes things a million times easier. Now it doesn't even bother me.
00:12:48
Speaker
Yeah, isn't that? Yeah, i remember. i can't remember it like super clearly, but I remember there being times of like. me trying to convince you or you would bring it up and then be like, ah, but then again, like, I think, I think again, you mostly talked yourself into it, but then like, I think when we're getting closer to maybe launching, like things got put off a little bit farther and then maybe you were like, ah, well, you know, let's try it this week or whatever. And I think the only driving force I had in it was like saying, Hey, we need to do this now or never. Like you said, you want to do it. You said it's something you want to do. You said it's a goal.
00:13:18
Speaker
It's something that's important for you to try. Like, just come try it. And so that was mostly me just reminding
Podcasting: A Journey of Growth
00:13:23
Speaker
you of your own words to bring you back in. But don't you use what I said against me? Yeah, but you but you but really, I think you were the one that approached me first. I'm just like, hey, you know, do you still do that show? Or I enjoyed being a guest on it. You had said that um you wanted to restart it, right? Because it was still getting views, even though it had been dormant for a while.
00:13:45
Speaker
And you asked me if I wanted to be a guest. And then after I was done, You had said ah this was the easiest and longest episode I had ever made with somebody else or something along those lines. You were like, you know, we somehow because we it was supposed to be 20 minute show.
00:14:02
Speaker
And i if I remember, we recorded for almost an hour. And you were like, yeah, like that was easy. You know, even i was like, that was very easy.
00:14:15
Speaker
ah We lost track of time. And then, yeah, I came to you and I was like, hey, if you want to restart this show, I'm willing to do that with you. I had a great time.
00:14:26
Speaker
Do you want to do it together? And if I remember correctly, your exact words were, oh, fuck, yeah, man, let's do it. it sounds like something probably say. It sounds like something you'd say.
00:14:39
Speaker
But yeah, ah yeah, i I mean, yeah, I guess i yeah, I kind of forgotten that that was something that There was some trepidation there for a little bit. Oh, yeah. You know, but... And I've noticed in in my... um In my real life, too, like, I am not as afraid of being vocal with my opinions anymore because I think in part of the show.
00:15:03
Speaker
I think I've gotten more used to speaking what's on my mind in a way that I i didn't used to. You know, I was always very... um, go with the flow and shut off from letting people know what I thought because I was like, well, you know, they don't need, they don't care what I think or, or like, or feels like kind I'm just going to agree with everybody else.
00:15:25
Speaker
Um, I I'm trying not to make it sound like I'm an asshole going like, well, I don't tell people what I think because I only speak the truth and people can know. I genuinely think nice things about everybody, but like,
00:15:38
Speaker
I don't know. I would get the feeling that nobody actually cares what I think. um But just, and even if people didn't listen to this, just being able to say it into the void or say it with you and you listen has made a huge difference, I think.
00:15:54
Speaker
Yeah, you get practice just kind of speaking in general, but also like speaking on certain matters that might carry more weight depending on who might hear it, you know? So, Oh yeah. oh yeah Almost everything we've talked about on this show. I would never dream of myself saying on an online show.
00:16:14
Speaker
Yeah. I think it's nice to kind of have, in one way, shape or form, a safe place to just say the things. Yeah. You know, like we don't get too controversial too much, but like, you know, I'll be honest with you. Like I was feeling a little embarrassed after like the food bank episode.
00:16:33
Speaker
Uh, but then like I sat on it for a little while and I was like, like, I shouldn't have to, though. The only thing that I was embarrassed about was that I didn't let you talk for like eight minutes. But like outside of that, like and it wasn't that I wasn't trying to, which is that I got caught up in what I was feeling.
00:16:49
Speaker
But even then I was like, but that's my safe show. I should be allowed to. It's our fucking show. That's that's I should be allowed to say those things. And I didn't say anything. that was offensive or that was attacking anybody. I was just saying like, this is a problem and we need to fucking know about it.
00:17:05
Speaker
And I was like, I shouldn't feel embarrassed about that. you know And because it felt like a bigger deal, because I was feeling so impassioned by it, I started feeling like an unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment. If it were just me, I wouldn't have cared. But because you were there, I was like, I was worried about you. I was like, I hope Danny isn't mad at me. i hope Danny doesn't feel embarrassed. I hope Danny doesn't.
00:17:24
Speaker
feel upset that I posted the episode anyway. And that I hope that the compromise that we put of two episodes up instead of one was okay for him, like the kind of compromise. Cause like I was realizing like, but at the same time I was also like, oh is anybody who's listening going to be mad at me? Cause I know some of the people who listen, are they going be pissed at me for saying support food banks?
00:17:45
Speaker
Then I just, well when you put it like that, they sound like assholes. But then I just kind of talked myself out of it and I was like, that's stupid. Yeah, of course I'm going to post the episode. That's dumb. Absolutely. This is my, this is our safe space to talk about. And just for your information, cause I know I gave you not a hard time, but like, i was like, Hey man, you know, I was of the opinion that like, Hey, the show is, is supposed to be like a good escape.
00:18:07
Speaker
Just a silly little thing. I was more worried about how, the dissonance would go. I was never at any point upset with you, you know, right. Right. Right.
00:18:19
Speaker
I want to make sure you understand that you are absolutely free to speak your truth. Um, and like you said, this show is a safe space. And honestly, thinking back on it, I should have kept my mouth shut but about that stuff. Cause it is, it's just as much your show as mine. And, you know, perhaps even more so. And if that's,
00:18:44
Speaker
something you wanted to say, this is your God given place to do it Right. And I think just like kind of getting back to just like the practice of it of like, you know, yeah, it's an escape and we want to answer, but we also answer very real worldy questions sometimes. Sometimes it's just a, what if you were an egg? What color would you be? And other times it's like, Hey, my boyfriend did this and and this happened and all this complicated, like, remember talked about the Thanksgiving dinners and the and the underhandedness of all that, like, you know, like there's some real world conflict there from real people asking real questions for them that seem to matter. And like,
00:19:18
Speaker
I don't want to feel like we can't have those discussions like because we have those feelings. like Sure, we're answering somebody else's external question, but we also have feelings that can drum up from those things. And I think it's important that we feel like it's okay to talk about those things because if you think about people who are in like bigger forms of media like or more popular or her on TV or whatever, you know, people say, Oh, keep your opinions out of it. We're just here for this. I'm like, but that's a person they should be allowed to do that. If that's their show, that's their platform. I liked it. People use their platform to speak about important things. And I would be a hell of a hypocrite if I didn't feel like I could do that, even with our small audience. So anyway, like,
00:20:00
Speaker
So anyway, to get back to that, like, I think it's good that you also felt that feeling of like, I get to practice here. I get to talk here. I get to speak here in a way I otherwise wouldn't have done that before. And now you're saying, at least what I heard was, you're able to do that more in the real world now, too, right? I have been. Yeah, I've been a lot more open, like at work and stuff. If I have an idea about something, I'm much more likely to to say something now.
00:20:25
Speaker
As you should. As you should, Danny. And I would like to take this moment to formally apologize to you. Oh, no apology needed. You speak your truth. You're right. No apology needed. I didn't, you know, i I don't want to make it about me. You were talking about how you were... Well, no, no, no. I'm not taking it that way. You're not making it about you. But yeah I know we haven't really talked about it since then. And it is something I've been thinking about, too. And it was it was wrong of me to criticize you for...
00:20:54
Speaker
using your safe space as a safe space. Yeah. And the way I see it is, if you don't like it, there's plenty of other episodes you can listen to that don't have that in it. That's right. That's why they're not designed in any sort of tangential you You deserve your space as much as I do.
00:21:11
Speaker
It's okay. I made the show to be as individualized as possible so people can jump around wherever
Humor and Wrap-Up
00:21:16
Speaker
they choose. so Yeah. And I'm 100% happy with the um compromise we had come up with.
00:21:23
Speaker
i I agree. i think I think it was a good compromise. that episode's not somebody's cup of tea, there's another one they can go right to. And hey, men listening, this is how men solve their problems and communicate with each other. hey men These are what real alphas sound like, baby.
00:21:38
Speaker
Alpha, fuck that shit. I'm a Sigma bro. Yeah, I'm a Omega bro. What is the difference between an Alpha? You know what I don't care. i don't I don't even want to know. I don't care. Alphas want to jerk you off. No, no, no, I don't care. Don't get me started. We're already over 20 minutes. I have more respect for myself not knowing. Yeah.
00:21:58
Speaker
All right, real quick before we wrap up, I wanted to share with you a couple of I'm on Merriam Webster dot com again because I've been clicking around on this little playground they have. And I found a section called 12 names for birds that sound like insults and sometimes are.
00:22:13
Speaker
And I wanted to read a couple that stuck out to me that I thought you might like. Yeah, give me some things I can call my bird. So there's one called a cranky fan. Um, which is, I mean, it's like an unpredictable bird with like very distinctive fans on its feathers, uh, and its tail feathers. It's a little chubby guy, but I just like cranky fan. It's pretty funny.
00:22:31
Speaker
Um, my favorite is called a dirty Allen, a dirty Allen. It sounds like a drink. a It does. A L L a N. It's a Jaeger having moderately long, narrow and pointed middle tail feathers.
00:22:46
Speaker
Um, uh i'll call an allen or a aka a parasitic ja jaeger or jaeger i don't know if they pronounce the j's or not um it's funny we say it sounds like a drink and that's a jaeger yeah so i just think this bird being called a dirty allen is like that's so funny i just i just it's it's burned into my brain i just you dirty allen you dirty yeah dude it sounds like an orbits commercial You dirty Allen, you clean it up with all this.
00:23:17
Speaker
You son of a biscuit eating bulldog. Who are you calling a cutie queen? You lit liquor. You dirty Allen. Pickle you, kumquat. And then there was one more on here that I wanted to share with you that I thought i had a had a pretty good name.
00:23:34
Speaker
I got to find it. There's a few on here. Well, this one's called a twit twat, but that's not the one that I was looking at. Yeah. Where is it? Where is it? oh here it is. It's called a mum ruffin. Oh, I love that one. Give me that one.
00:23:48
Speaker
It's the origins of mum ruffin are used to refer to the long tailed tit. Um, so, um, they say the but the way the word rolls out the tongue suggests it would make a great playful, if mild put down along the lines of ragamuffin.
00:24:05
Speaker
Um, but apparently, it's just like a little, uh, Like ah another name they gave to the long-tailed tit. um It's of Europe and Northern Asia. It has a long tail that is related to the bush tits and has black, white, and pink plumage.
00:24:23
Speaker
Oh, pretty. It's kind of it's a neat little bird, actually. um But yeah, I just thought mum ruffin was a really a really fun fucking word to say. um So, yeah, so those are both like ah alternate names for some of these birds.
00:24:39
Speaker
So Dirty Allen and mum ruffin are the ones that I think really take the cake. Muffin is so good. Yeah. ah Rum muffin. I think that I say mum ruff mum ruffin. Oh, it's mum ruffin.
00:24:50
Speaker
Not a rum muffin that you make a muffin with rum. It's a mum ruffin. It's like your mom's rough house. I'm going mum ruffin later. My mum is ruffin. Gotcha. I'm going to go i'm goingnna fight some people's moms later. I'm going to go mum ruffin.
00:25:03
Speaker
Which could be kind of fun.
00:25:07
Speaker
God. but Anyway, i just wanted to share those with you because I thought those were funny. Thank you. No, I appreciate it. So a mum roughing and a dirty Alan to kick off your day.
00:25:20
Speaker
Give me a dirty Alan. Yeah, but all right. ah That's it for us. And so, hey, funnestellersnetwork.biz, you know the scoop. Fun stuff's happening over there. It'll continue to happen.
00:25:33
Speaker
Go check out my rant about pickles. I have other ones that I'm writing, but I haven't posted yet. So new stuff might be out by the time you hear this. um And yeah, that's pretty much it for now. If you have any questions, please submit a fun and talk about it. But it is.
00:25:46
Speaker
And ah yeah, that's it. Danny, take it away. Very nice. Thank you very much, Mr. Adam. I've been Danny Guarantee. That has been my cohort, my partner in crime, Adam. And thank you also very much for listening um for today's challenge.
00:26:04
Speaker
Let's go with um tell somebody that they are out of sight. Out of sight. Ooh, yeah. You out of sight. Or at least something that they're doing is in sight. That's an old one. like that one. Yeah. Classic. tell somebody you love that they're out of sight.
00:26:21
Speaker
You dirty Alan. You dirty Alan, you.