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00:00:01
Do We Care About The GenZ Stare?
8 Plays4 days ago
Have you ever been greeted by the GenZ stare?
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Goals
00:00:00
Speaker
all right well there you go have at oh perfect good morning good afternoon and good evening love welcome back to toq i'm doing it with an accent today because i kind of feel like it uh but gonna drop that because that's annoying to do the whole time uh your voice is gonna be real raw after that nah that's nothing ah Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, boys and girls and everybody up, down, all around, inside and out of the gender spectrum.
00:00:29
Speaker
um We are happy to have you here today. i am Danny Guaranty, here with my beautiful assistant, Adam. Adam.
00:00:40
Speaker
Hi, President. How can I help you? Oh, my.
00:00:47
Speaker
We'll be yeah discussing things in my Oval Office later. Anyway. Don't you mean the Oral Office, prince Mr. President? Shh, tonight. Gross. Your mom listens to this. Quit it.
00:01:00
Speaker
Hi, Mom.
00:01:04
Speaker
Anyway, you got a question for us today? I do actually have a question. We're just jumping right into it. Let's just get, you know what? Just, i was just thinking, i finally edited all of the episodes from role players and TOQ. I had a backlog of like four to each that I had to do today. And i was like, you know what?
00:01:22
Speaker
I just, now that I have all those done, ah feel good that like now we can, today is going to be the day we stick to that 20 minute marker, Danny. Today we're going to be able to do it.
00:01:32
Speaker
I believe. Uh-huh. Okay, if you say so. I believe in us. Let's do it. Alrighty.
Understanding the 'Gen Z Stare' Phenomenon
00:01:39
Speaker
All right. Well, then let's just get right into the question, which I did not plan for only being 20 minutes, but fine.
00:01:47
Speaker
You thought that... What did you think was going to be? 10? No. No, I think that this is going to lead to whole tirade, and it's going to be over 20 minutes. it about food banks? It's not about food banks.
00:01:59
Speaker
Okay. Worse, it's about the younger generation. All right, it's fine. I have... differing opinions on the younger generation. but so It depends. Hit me. what do you get? So I only just learned what this is. So when I saw it was a question, I knew I had to ask it.
00:02:13
Speaker
ah But Blue Jacket on Reddit, no stupid questions, wants to know, what is the deal with the Gen Z stare?
00:02:25
Speaker
What's the deal? I don't know what that the with Gen Z stare? You don't know what that is? Stare as in like the look you do with your eyes? Yeah, like not looking away. So.
00:02:36
Speaker
No, I don't know what that this is. This like a reference to. I guess it's a newer phenomenon, or at least I only just heard about it. But ah here, for they they wrote in the post, for example, we take our kids to ah gym daycare routinely, which has a lot of Gen Z caregivers.
00:02:54
Speaker
Truly, every time I walk into the classroom, I say hi and get nothing back but blank stares. Our kids are happy there and they do good with them, but every time I say hello, they look at me like I have two heads.
00:03:08
Speaker
No, I do not have a personal relationship with these caregivers, but I see them weekly as I drop my kids off, so they're all familiar faces at the very least. I'm very introverted and a reserved person, so I'm definitely not expecting their time and energy for a full conversation.
00:03:23
Speaker
But I thought a simple hello or acknowledgement of some kind entering a room was just part of having good manners. It leaves me feeling so awkward each time it happens. Is this a new norm, or am I just turning into a whiny millennial?
00:03:36
Speaker
Now, this is like I said, kind of a newer phenomenon, I believe, where ah if you go to a place with Gen Z workers in terms of like ah customer facing positions, right? So retail, customer
Generational Stereotypes and Social Expectations
00:03:53
Speaker
service, you kind of jobs.
00:03:54
Speaker
Apparently, when you say good morning to them or try and have any kind of small talk with them, they just stare at you like you're crazy. And that has kind of been coined as the Gen Z stare.
00:04:07
Speaker
But Gen Z has also kind of taken it and run with it and made their own version of it. um Which I will get into in a bit.
00:04:21
Speaker
But what what do you think about that? Have you ever seen this where you said good morning to a younger person and they just kind of stared at you? Uh, no, sometimes my nieces and nephews do that, like, but they're gen alphas, but they're real. They're still pretty young. um Or I think they're just not sure what to say.
00:04:42
Speaker
But like, no, I don't think I've ever know. Although to be fair, the. The people I work with, I fit in a very specific kind of spot at my organization where.
00:04:55
Speaker
Yes, I'm a millennial, but I have people that I work around that are either a few years younger than me or a few years older than me or way older than me. But then there are a lot of young people like college students um who work there, but a lot of them are very well spoken. They're very engaged.
00:05:10
Speaker
But to get into the line of work that I'm in, you kind of have to be. So I don't think i I had enough interaction with Gen Z that I don't already have a rapport with that I've ever noticed that before.
00:05:21
Speaker
um So I guess My first reaction is, well, my first question would be, is it, is what's the word i'm looking for? Is it something they do on purpose? Like, is it is it an intentional thing or is it like a subconscious thing that happens? Cause one, like I could probably explain one more than,
00:05:43
Speaker
Well, I guess I could probably explain both. But did they say like, is it accidental or is it on purpose? or is it I actually watched. and Like I said, I recently found out about this, so I actually watched something on YouTube from like a Gen Z creator.
00:05:58
Speaker
About it because he he brought it up and he was Gen Z doesn't like to be critiqued about anything. I've learned that. um So they just anytime they get critiqued about anything, they just run with it. So like um I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happens. It's like it was an accidental thing. and And someone says Gen Z does this thing. And so like, you know what? We're just going to do it now on purpose.
00:06:18
Speaker
Like I could see that. That is kind of what happened in the fact that older generations kind of coined this term. And then they took it and kind of made it their own, which I absolutely love.
00:06:31
Speaker
I love it to a degree. Like there's there's I don't mind if you take something that seems to be offensive and you want to own it. Like, I think that's a good thing. But I also think we're not talking about appropriation.
00:06:43
Speaker
No, but what I'm saying is like, no, but what I'm saying is like, you know. there are people who will use something like, oh, this is this is me taking it back. So that means I can be shitty to people
Gen Z's Silent Protest and Job Dissatisfaction
00:06:56
Speaker
and not have conversations because I'm being an individual. You know, it's like there's a line for everything. So like, I just want to make sure. So there are a few, you know, from what I heard, there are a few um different.
00:07:10
Speaker
Actually, while I'm explaining it, going look up the video so I can give people their due. ah Because it was a good video and they deserve it. um But the gist of it was that there's like two different kinds of Gen Z stare. There is what the older generations originally meant it as.
00:07:30
Speaker
And then what Gen Z kind of made it their own into. ah So one of the big arguments for the older generation version where I say hello to you and you just stare back at me is COVID.
00:07:45
Speaker
right Obviously, that it was during their formative years where you would learn most social cues is when everything for them was online. So it's not out of the realm of possibility that they don't know or care what the norms are for small talk because they didn't grow up with it.
00:08:09
Speaker
Right. um And you know what? That's fair enough. I think... ah I honestly think it would be good if there was more of an effort to recognize that and teach Gen Z like, hey, you know, the normally this is what happens.
00:08:29
Speaker
Like, you should talk. You should say hello back. you You know, you don't need your life story, but you should at least say hi. Right. Yeah, I think... I know that there are people of all ages who have never done well at small talk, especially i have a lot of people in my life who are on the autism spectrum somewhere or the neurodivergent in general. And,
00:08:51
Speaker
I hear that all the time. That small talk is hard. I don't know how to do it. Some want to learn and some are like, I think it's pointless. It's a waste of my time. You know, understandably both ways. Meanwhile, I'm a little bit of a small talker guy myself. I think it helps ease the tension for people who might not know how to engage.
00:09:07
Speaker
But I understand that some people like I don't care about these meaningful, these meaningless things. But to me, they're meaningful because I'm developing a rapport. um So everybody kind of sees that differently. So like it's hard because I think Again, if it's done, my theory is that usually it's not on purpose, but I think that there are defectors who are now like, again, just for what little I've got gleaned from what you've told me.
00:09:32
Speaker
My, just because how I've seen other things taken out of context, are trying to be like empowering instead of an insult. Like I know Gen Z and even millennials, I think ah people of all generations have done this where they try to take something that's, you know, meant and Although I do think Gen Z is a little bit more sensitive. I do think that they're just like, oh, well, you gave us ah a label, so we're going to do this thing now. And I think that's kind of like a malicious compliance.
00:09:57
Speaker
Right. Like, I think there's credence to it where you're just like, well, if this is what you think I am, then I'm going to be that. But also, I do think based on trends I've seen, because remember, whatever is like, oh, Gen Z is going to save America.
00:10:08
Speaker
Gen Z is going to, know, and I'm not talking to shit on all Gen Z, but. Gen Z did not, in fact, rise up to vote and save America. So, like, the the fact of the matter is is that, like, there's a lot of social awkwardness. There's a lot of laziness. there's a lot of high
Political Participation and Intergenerational Dialogue
00:10:21
Speaker
sensitivity. And I think everybody's kind of becoming more susceptible to it, even those right-wing fuckholes who say, oh, you guys are snowflakes, but then they get mad when you make fun of the president. So go fuck yourself, Boomer.
00:10:31
Speaker
But anyway, so, like, and the point is, is that, like, I think – there I think my theory is that most of it is people they don't recognize are even doing it. I think it's just like a ah an innate defense mechanism to like, I don't know how to respond to this situation. Right.
00:10:46
Speaker
But I think that there are people who are- And older generations took something they didn't realize, that Gen Z didn't realize they were doing. Right. picked apart because, let's be real, that is something every generation does.
00:11:00
Speaker
They pick on the younger generation. We went through it. You know, Gen Z is going through it a bit and they're probably going to do it to Gen Alpha in a bit. Right. And millennials are the best one. Let's all just be real here. Obviously, they are the best ones. I'm not even saying it because i'm a part of that group, you know, and just think that we can fix your printer for the young kids and the older people. I do i feel so bad for Gen Xers. It's like, oh, yeah, you guys do exist, huh?
00:11:24
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, honestly, they're probably high up there, too, because they probably stay the most out of shit. Yeah, that's fair. But ah but also I think they're inaction. It can be offensive sometimes because like I think we're at least trying to do something.
00:11:38
Speaker
um But anyway, you see, it's just whatever. It's just like a fun little teams thing. But like we're not trying to hurt anybody. But I do see what they mean. Like I do think there are some people on the other side of that, though, when I talk about sensitivity, like.
00:11:50
Speaker
well regardless of your age, millennials, zoomers, boomers, gen Xers, whatever. Like, I do think that there's a certain level of like social norms that people would just come to expect.
00:12:01
Speaker
And like, no one owes you anything. Like you, if you want to say hi to someone and I don't say hi back, it is in your control then to say, okay, well, I won't say hi to that person anymore. Right? Like,
00:12:13
Speaker
It isn't within your power to be like, all right, fine. I won't just won't say hi to you or I'll try again. And if you still don't say hi, then maybe you're just not a high kind of person. Fine, whatever. Right? But if you're going to take that home with you and start developing all these theories about how mean that person is to you because maybe they just don't want to and or know how to talk to you, that's on you, bro, for taking it home with you. So just like chill the fuck out.
00:12:34
Speaker
So I understand on that side of things where like – this whole this term has come from people being overly sensitive to like oh that gen z didn't i didn't wish me a good day when i walked away right exactly yeah get over it being a snowflake yeah just get the fuck over it like my god the guy didn't say good morning to me oh poor be Yeah, like some people just take it too far. And it's just like, just swallow your pride and understand that maybe it's not malicious and people just either don't. And it's in their right to just not talk to you.
00:13:04
Speaker
yes yeah but But now, if you are in an office setting, a business setting, or if you are a customer, I understand that there are certain levels of expectations to be set. But that is on the people who run the establishment to make that clear.
00:13:17
Speaker
Right. If they are not training people to say, Hey, like here's how customer service is supposed to be. There are expectations there. That's a little different than like, just bumping into somebody or or whatever, or if you say hi, like that's not, they don't have to talk to you, but if you work in customer service, I do understand that there's a certain, at least baseline level you should meet. Like you want the friendly people to be at the register, right? Because, but also they should be able to say the customer isn't always right. And fuck you, you know, like I do think businesses should work that way. Like we'll we'll we'll actually be getting to that as well.
00:13:50
Speaker
Oh really? Yes. Because like I recognize that. that's That's probably another defense mechanism is like, oh, well, you know what? I'm not going to just sit here, so I'm just going to like disassociate while you are an asshole.
00:14:02
Speaker
So that actually, it's funny you brought that up. That is what the Gen Z have turned the Gen Z stare into. Uh, they, they took it from, you know, you say hi to me and I just kind of stare blankly cause I don't know what to do.
00:14:19
Speaker
They co-opted it and said, no, we give you the Gen Z stare because when you ask for the fifth time that you want a cheeseburger without the cheese, we just look at you like an idiot cause you're an idiot.
00:14:32
Speaker
And it's basically that idea of the customer is always right and expecting, um, or asking very stupid questions. Um, And they're like, you know, most other generations would have just kind of smiled, put the mask on, smile and then go home and hate themselves.
00:14:50
Speaker
ah And Gen Z just isn't. They're just saying like, I'm just stare at you like you're an idiot if you're going to act like an idiot. Here's my thought. Here's my thought on that. I do not believe if I were to a wager a guess, I would say only because this is getting louder on the Internet, it would seem since we're hearing about it now, um that my impression is this.
00:15:11
Speaker
I think most people are not doing it on purpose. my That is my true opinion with what little I know about this. Because just from how I've seen just how fucking gradually awkward, and this isn't just about Gen Z, this is everybody.
00:15:26
Speaker
Like more gradually awkward people are getting in social situations or they just don't do well or the fact that people are more rageful when things don't go their way. They don't know how social interaction should work or they don't even know how to start it or end it or exist within it.
00:15:41
Speaker
I think that my guess is that it's just more noticeable. and And now that you're mentioning customer service, I bet you this is probably where most of the hubbub is coming from. Oh, it absolutely is.
00:15:52
Speaker
yeah Because people are real bitches and Karens and Chads in customer service in general. But I will say this. I think... that there is a line to be walked where if this is an act of rebellion or an act of like, you know, just to stand their ground, so to speak, socially, I'm okay with that. But I do, again, I would like to say that just based on trends I've seen on how,
00:16:20
Speaker
typically Gen Z treats each other. Aside from the you know the whole LGBTQ thing, I think that's one thing most of them are doing really, really well. um But I do think that when it comes to general social interaction and being quick to judge, I do think that we are sliding backwards.
00:16:34
Speaker
I think everybody is, but I've noticed it that... like That's happening with people who grew up with cell phones exclusively. And so I do think that there is a line to walk with like, I'm doing this because I don't want to be bullied by society, which good for you.
00:16:49
Speaker
That's incredible. But also make sure that you are not weaponizing it on everybody because you just don't want to work or have to think, which according to how most college and high school students have reported, they use chat GPT to do most of their working and thinking.
00:17:03
Speaker
yeah So which with literal brain rot being a thing that is becoming a medical phenomenon. So having said all of that, I just will say we must be careful on how we praise and or admonish this because some may be doing it in a good way.
00:17:16
Speaker
But in my experience, I think most people are either doing it accidentally or maliciously. And I think we need to figure out where that line is. So but thank you for coming to my stare talk. Yeah, Jesus. Stare.
00:17:27
Speaker
um i told you this might not make 20 minutes we're not there yet but there's no signs of slowing down yet um now another argument i heard which i kind of agree with um i guess in a i don't know vindictive way and i guess in a way is that they literally say i don't get paid enough for this shit um like You know, you worked retail, right? I've worked retail.
00:17:54
Speaker
yeah ah It was the worst thing ever. And at this point, having a job isn't putting food on the table. It's just starving slower. um So I completely understand if you're working a job that makes you miserable, like retail, just being like, you know what?
00:18:13
Speaker
Screw it. um' I'm not putting on the mask. I'm not you know trying so hard for a company that does not care about me, for a society that is drawing me only short straws and doesn't care if I live or die. Why would I go out of my way?
00:18:30
Speaker
I completely understand that. And if you're... One little sense of power is, you know, when that older guy walks in and says hi to me in a creepy way as a 16-year-old girl, I'm just going to stare at him.
00:18:45
Speaker
I'm not going to be like, oh, hi, how are you doing today? It's good to see you for the third time today. Right. Well, again, i think every situation... i don't think this I don't think this can be a blanket thing. No, absolutely not.
00:18:59
Speaker
Every situation has to be its own isolated thing because... There are people that just will not socialize. They will not try and put forth effort at all. um Now, others and others will or others are much more socially conscious.
00:19:13
Speaker
But also, guys, in any situation, especially if you're young, like. Just if if customer service sucks to work in, then don't work in customer service. Like maybe like find an exit strategy to some place, you know, like maybe let's look online and find other options for you. why These are their first jobs during school.
00:19:33
Speaker
Right. Well, then just don't go do that if you don't if it's killing your soul. Like you're not in a situation just yet where like that has to be the end all be all right. You have time.
00:19:44
Speaker
Change is OK. Depends on money. You know, if you need job now. Right. But like, but again, you don't have to stay there while like you don't have to quit. And then again, don't quit your job and then find new work.
00:19:58
Speaker
Like look for new work while you're at your new job. Like I think that's a skill that people lack is like interviewing, resume building, things like that. So again, I'm not trying to say like, well, if you don't like it, just leave. But I am saying like you can find an exit strategy if it is killing your soul to be there. like Don't set Don't set the precedent of like, I'm, you know, like the greatest generation is like, oh, I worked in the mines for 50 years and I hated it, but it put food on the table. It's like, well, you know, you don't have to set that precedent of I need to stay in a place that makes me miserable. So I'm going to make everyone else miserable with me.
00:20:29
Speaker
Like while you're there, find an exit strategy instead of waiting a year, two years, three years until you've been there. And you brought it again, like it makes these jobs a lot more tolerable if it puts food on the table.
00:20:41
Speaker
But they don't right now. like Right. The best way to get a raise is to get another job. the Yeah. the The best way to get a pay raise is to find a different job. And I know it's difficult.
00:20:51
Speaker
But, um you know, I'm just saying, like, start that search while you're there for your own mental well-being. Don't set the precedent of I need to stay here and be miserable and make others miserable, too, because I am feeling undervalued.
00:21:07
Speaker
Right. Do not stay in that situation because you will learn to stay in worse situations in your relationships and in your jobs, in how you interact with the community, and in just like societal norms that should not be.
00:21:21
Speaker
So like it's OK to act out and to like stand your ground and to stand up for yourself. But again, don't set yourself in a self-abuse relationship by staying somewhere that makes you hate yourself.
00:21:33
Speaker
Like find an exit strategy that will still allow you to live reasonably. Better yet, if you want to like fight back against the system and, and you know, like take small bit of power that you can don't do the gen z stare that's useless it's not actually helping anything yeah but ah go vote agree i don't care who the fuck you vote for just go vote well i do don't vote for anybody who is associated with the current administration um but anyway sorry i have a side and it's not that one and i hate the side that i'm on I hate the side that I'm on too. Give me a
The Power of Words and Communication Skills
00:22:10
Speaker
president that's younger than 80 and I'll be happy. Yes, I would love a Democrat that's younger than 40. That would be delightful.
00:22:16
Speaker
I would love a leftist that knows what they're doing. i Did I tell you ah one time i was on Reddit and I commented on somebody else's post, something like that. like you know The only three things you need to be the president is natural born citizen.
00:22:32
Speaker
You need to be 35. Mm hmm. And I think you can't be a ah well, it doesn't matter anymore, but I think you couldn't have like a a felony or something like that.
00:22:44
Speaker
Yeah, that was the idea. but um and pete I actually got responses from people being like, wait, there's no like monetary. Bar to entry, I was like, no, there isn't.
00:22:55
Speaker
The only reason that that's a problem is because how can you keep up? Right. You know, how can you get your name out there when All these other people have much money. That's why there's a lot of grassroots fundraising and stuff like that to try. No, there is nothing stopping you.
00:23:10
Speaker
If you were born in America, there is nothing stopping you when you turn 35 to just put your name on the ballot and say, hey, everybody, you know, I'm a normal person that would immediately get my vote.
00:23:22
Speaker
I'm not a billionaire. Here you go. Next local elections next year, buddy. I'll put my name on the ticket. I'm going to start campaigning. There's, you know, i was thinking the same thing. I was like, you know, maybe I'll just try for politics.
00:23:33
Speaker
I'm going to do it. how could it possibly I'm going to start local and work my way up. I'm going to maybe go for mayor or governor. you got my vote I'm to do it. It's going to happen. I'm going to get on the presidency and then, uh, yeah, I'm going to paint rainbows all throughout the white house.
00:23:48
Speaker
Um, That way it's not the White House anymore. It's ah the Rainbow House. um But yeah, you know. So about, all right, well, first of all, you've already lied on your first campaign promise, which is a problem.
00:24:02
Speaker
First of all, it's not a campaign promise. I said, I believe we can do it. That's what I i say. So you're already starting with the political kind of language. And I know that's just me being correct.
00:24:15
Speaker
I said, I think we can do it. I didn't say we're going to do it. Those are two different concepts, my friend. Language matters. All right. Well, before you do the random cut that I know you're planning on doing ah about, I need to give.
00:24:28
Speaker
Done my thing yet. Okay, fine. Fair enough. I need to give credit where it's due. ah The channel I saw this video on that showed a lot, and it covers things that I did not cover today, so go check it out.
00:24:41
Speaker
ah It's called, Is Gen Z Socially Awkward or Are You Just Annoying? The Gen Z Stare by Emergency. I-M-U, capital R.
00:24:52
Speaker
G-E-N-C-Y. Go check it out on YouTube if this is something that interests you more. But that's not how to spell emergency. I just can't be clear. It's not. more And I actually did have to sit here for a second and go,
00:25:05
Speaker
EMU-R-GENCY. Oh, emergency. EMU-R-GENCY. Dude, ah this is one of the things that stops me from streaming, is having to respond to a chat where their name could be just anything. yeah And I'm scared I'm going to sit there and just completely butcher it.
00:25:26
Speaker
I'm going to take too long to figure out what it's supposed to say, or they're going to get me with like a d's nuts joke without me realizing. I don't care about any of that. Fuck them. As long as they send me some bits and money, I don't give shit.
00:25:38
Speaker
um Actually, about sending bits and money and things like that and putting food on the table. Hey, go check out funstallersnetwork.biz and we have a Ko-Fi. And come on, guys. Seriously, I want to do this instead of working a nine to five. That sucks.
00:25:54
Speaker
Yeah. Hey, do us a favor and share this with someone who you think... I've shared this with every person I've gone on a date with over the past three weeks. And none of them have asked for a second date.
00:26:05
Speaker
Actually, that's not true. ah Two of them have. Oh. Yeah. Some of them have even asked to me on a date. Did you know that? Which was crazy. I told them all about you when they listened to the episode. They listened to the Humble Come Stumble episode was the one I sent them. Oh, seriously?
00:26:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They were asking, they said, what does recording mean? What does podcasting look like? What do you do? And I was going to show them role players, that requires a lot more investment. So I sent them to you. No, this is better. Yeah. ah You know, I don't tell the role players this, but, you know, this one's this one's easier to record. it certainly is.
00:26:38
Speaker
The other one requires me to think a lot more, which is still fun and engaging. But this one uses their brain. I use it all the time. i care about what people say and do and how I help them all the time. I care about their feelings all the time. It is very difficult to be me sometimes, Danny.
00:26:55
Speaker
Oh, I believe it. It's hard. I cannot shut my brain off to not care about other people. um But it still won't stop me from telling you go fuck yourself if you're being a bad person. um But real quick, before we sign off, I just wanted to, I was thinking about dictionary.com or merriamwebster.com, which is where you got your words of the day and other things that I was doing.
00:27:16
Speaker
So I decided to go back to the well another time. And I thought something that could be fun is if we start picking up some words from the thesaurus section. I almost said thesaurus to be funny, but then i was like, people think you meant it.
00:27:31
Speaker
Yes. So today I thought that what I would do is read from you suggestions for the word sexy. Um, because the English language and all languages on, on earth have so many fun words in them that often don't get used because there are much simpler ones to use.
00:27:49
Speaker
And I think that while yes, you may find it efficient because of time uh, ah use the shorter words and make your sentences shorter and, you know, make that tech, it's all text message based anyway.
00:28:03
Speaker
We're not in a time where letters are taxed. We're not in a time where I mean like individual letters that you write or type you make, you know, cause that used to be a time back in the day where like,
00:28:14
Speaker
when you sent letters, the heavier the envelope because of how much ink you used, the more that that you would get, you would have to pay. Or they would judge how many words you wrote on a paper and you would get taxed after so many. It was like Twitter, but you'd have to, they would charge you if you went over 180 characters, right? crap.
00:28:30
Speaker
That's a very real thing they used to do. Absolutely. And so they used to just send postcards to keep them really short, but we don't have to do that guys. And I don't want people to lose communication skills or lose vocabulary because this is going sound like I'm jerking myself off here, but I get complimented a lot on how I can speak in the words that I use. And usually they're not really that impressive.
00:28:50
Speaker
It's just that everybody else uses way, what I consider extremely basic words. Indubitably.
Authenticity in Relationships and Self-Image
00:28:56
Speaker
ah Exactly. You get it. So I think that a fun one, I thought maybe sexy since people will sex sells.
00:29:02
Speaker
I thought I would pick like some fun sex words that you could use to like say something is sexy or some something or someone. Yeah, please. I have a beluga sitting in the next room. Tell me what I can perfect say to her to call her sex. so the examples they have is either for a sexy voice, a sexy smile or a sexy outfit. Right.
00:29:20
Speaker
So the first one is seductive. So instead of a sexy voice, a seductive voice. and I'm just going to read them all in a row. So a seductive voice, a sultry voice, an alluring voice, an enchanting voice, which is a word I actually use quite a bit. I do like enchanting.
00:29:39
Speaker
A silky voice. like And the reason I bring these up is sometimes maybe the only word you can think of is sexy, but what you mean is something else. But that's what your brain is telling you because maybe there's like a little bit more of an energy to it.
00:29:51
Speaker
But some people don't want to be told they're sexy, especially if you barely know them. But if you say you have a very enchanting singing voice, that's a lot nicer for someone to hear. Alluring is also one that's a lot more kind of grounded in neutrality versus like sultry, maybe not so much. But if you if it's someone you know or that you're married to you or that you're dating, say, oh, I love your sultry So shouldn't go up to somebody who's got like a good singing voice. I shouldn't just go up to them and be like, hey, you got a part of mouth.
00:30:17
Speaker
ah No, but you could say you have a silky voice, you know, that might, you know, silky is a very smooth word to say. Right. And silk in general is very smooth to the touch. So I always liked a good smoky voice.
00:30:30
Speaker
Yeah. Same. um You know, were um here's another one like. about a smile and chanting comes up again. You're very enchanting smile. It's very vexing, right? It's very, yeah again, beautiful is great word.
00:30:42
Speaker
Sassy is one where if they kind of have a little bit more attitude, enticing is another one that I really like. I use enticing a lot at work. Uh, when someone says like, Hey Adam, how do you feel about doing this for lunch? Or do you want to order? would go, it's a very enticing offer, you know? Um,
00:30:56
Speaker
ah or ah for an outfit. You say that they you can say words like they are stylish. They are stunning. I use the words stunning is another one that I use a lot when I want to compliment the gals around the office. There's usually a little older people that are there, but they dress really well. They look nice. And I don't know if they get spoken to that often in that way.
00:31:13
Speaker
So just said, man, that's a very stunning shirt. Like, and they go, what really? Wow. I just got this. Cause you can tell it's new. It's shiny. There's no holes in it. There's no stains. There's no wear and tear. So, you know, someone's going to light up when you say something nice about an outfit piece that they just got.
00:31:26
Speaker
So I'm pretty good at clocking that stuff. I like, well, that's a very stunning set of shoes. That's a very stunning dress. Oh really? Wow. I just got it. I hear that all the time and it makes people feel good, but I also use it for the dudes. wait Then how come when we met, you just said like, oh, it's good to see you.
00:31:40
Speaker
No, I said, you smell good. you and No, you said you smell like I thought you would, but i yeah but I think I said something similar to you, and I think you responded with, you smell like I thought would. hugged you, and then i sniffed your neck and said, oh you smell just like I thought you would. Yeah, I think I said you Is that coming on a little strong?
00:31:59
Speaker
No, because already... No, but instead of saying you smell like I thought you would, you could have said like, oh, you have a very vexing smell to you. See, don't know if that's a compliment. Well, I love that alluring smell, you know. That one's good. But vexing, doesn't that mean like confusing?
00:32:15
Speaker
ah it It depends on context. like If something's vexing, maybe like you you imply, like oh, I'm like spellstruck or spellbound by like just what I'm looking at right now. like I don't use vexing that way. It implies that like you kind of give away control a bit because you're just like, wow, that's just so vexing.
00:32:30
Speaker
But you're right. Vexing can also be like, I'm so vexing. always used it like, yeah, I'm almost at the point where I'm like giving up. like If I'm at work and ah there's like an issue that's...
00:32:43
Speaker
I can't figure out after like an hour and you're like kind of sitting there with your head in your hands. I'm like, I'm this is vexing me. I don't know. mean, you're you're right in like 90 percent of situations. Yes. But if you speak at it from more of like a.
00:32:57
Speaker
more of like an old timey way, like vexing, like, again, I use it more of like the, the, the spell magic, like, oh I'm just vexed by you. Like, um so but you're right. Vexing does mean like annoying, frustrating.
00:33:09
Speaker
You're a hundred percent. i thought I was using it wrong this whole time. No, no, no, no. You are certainly correct. I just like, think of it as more so like, you know, just like spellstruck. Right. all but yeah It's just like a less cromulent way to use it.
00:33:23
Speaker
I get you. Exactly. But you are correct in how that would be. But anyway, yeah. But if you said like, oh man, you're such an alluring so manly smell coming from you. Like that would also be like, o wow. Okay. Like the only reason I remember saying you spoke like i you froze.
00:33:37
Speaker
Um, um But anyway, so I just want to bring those up that like words are great. You don't like don't try to the way that you start to sound like an asshole with words is if you just start to throw like nine syllable words in the middle of a sentence because you want people to notice.
00:33:53
Speaker
Yeah, like use the words because you like the words. Use the words because they fit in your sentences. Use the words because they mean the same thing as opposed to be like, Wow, that's, I remember like an episode of Family Guy where ah Peter thought that he had a high IQ and he saw some British people say shallow and pedantic.
00:34:13
Speaker
So he kept being like, yes, I agree. That's very shallow and pedantic. And like, what the fuck are you talking about? this is Like, if you just use words because you heard them and you want people to notice, don't do that. Use the words because you want to be able to speak better and speak well and be respected in your speech.
00:34:27
Speaker
People will notice for the right reasons. I'm going to give you a little advice, a little life advice here. All right. This is your your patented Danny guarantee. ah Life advice love it. I know what they say about people that are stupid, but want to sound smart just getting louder 100% true if you are actually trying to legitimately, you know, make yourself sound more um Intellectual not in a m'lady kind of way, but like, you know, I want to improve my vocabulary Be careful of that if you find yourself starting to just get louder
00:35:04
Speaker
Because I've seen it happen where people learn these big words and, you know, kind of what they mean. But then they start trying to talk over people in order to get those words out and, you know, blast to the room like, oh, how smart I am.
00:35:18
Speaker
Don't. All right. Real smart people don't scream about how smart they are. It's true. I don't like how a nice guy will never say he's a nice guy. Exactly. It's just understood. If a new... um a new motto that I have been adopting, over the past few months, uh, just based on like some interactions I've had with, ah yeah you know, ah some young people at work who these kinds of conversations come up and, and,
00:35:45
Speaker
again, it sounds like I'm jerking myself off, but like this came from a place for me receiving a lot of questions about how I interact with people and not like questionable. I mean like, Hey, how do you do that? Or, or, or is that hard for you? Or I noticed you talk like this. Like I have like a lot of again, I work with a lot of younger people and get questions when I'm sitting with them at lunch or if we're at a meeting and like, we're just kind of winding down at the end.
00:36:09
Speaker
And I hear that a lot. And so ah ah motto that I've come up with that I have been saying a lot to these people who I've kind of taken under my wing in a way, which is kind of fun to be like a mentor to some people like accidentally.
00:36:21
Speaker
But like something I've been saying is like, I've been using alliteration of consistency and character is key. And so like, you don't have to tell people that you're nice.
00:36:32
Speaker
You don't have to tell people that you're smart. You don't have to tell people that you're patient. People will notice those things if you are consistent in being those things. That's how they will also notice that if you declare those things, but you are the opposite, they'll say, well, you say you're nice, but I also hear you bitching about everybody. You say you're patient, but I hear you complaining about everything that you're doing.
00:36:53
Speaker
You say that you're nice, but like I hear you talking badly behind people's backs when they're not in the room. Like they notice your character. you You have to do those things even when no one is watching and you have to be sincere when you do them, because if not, your real self will come through and people will detect your bullshit.
00:37:10
Speaker
So like you have to be consistent in the character that you want to be. Otherwise, the character that you are will always shine through instead. So, you know, consistency and character is key, baby.
00:37:22
Speaker
yeah Speaking on that, a long time ago, again, ah ah you know i used to browse Reddit a lot more than I do now, but I used to actually kind of be involved on it. And I was talking to a self-described incel at the time. For those who don't know, it stands for involuntarily. Talking disgusting.
00:37:39
Speaker
Jesus Christ. It stands for people who... Involuntary. It stands for involuntarily celibate. But... And I only bring this up because we actually had this issue a while ago, a little while ago.
00:37:51
Speaker
Just because you can't have sex, you don't have a girlfriend, you're single or whatever, you are not an incel. Yes. It is more of a state of mind. Incels are people that start blaming women for the fact that they can never get laid. And they start calling for things like the removal of their rights.
00:38:09
Speaker
As people, they start... wanting breeding farms and right they're just women haters and they hate people that they think are attractive than more attractive than them um and i i tried to talk to one at one point over reddit just you know like morbid curiosity almost and they got into this huge fight with the whole comment section of the post including myself uh about how They're like, well, I treat women with respect.
00:38:38
Speaker
I show them a good time. I always compliment them. I do this. I do that. But they always give me the cold shoulder and I hate them. And I'm like, well, yeah, if you hate them, they're going to pick up on that. No, I'm really good at hiding it.
00:38:52
Speaker
I don't show them at all that I hate them. I'm like, no, dude, you don't seem to get it like. it's It's little things. like You can't control those micro expressions and stuff. Exactly. It's in the back of your mind that you read these things off people without even realizing it.
00:39:08
Speaker
Things like how your eyes squint when you look at them in that like moderately hated way, or maybe you don't smile when you see them the way you would. Or your body language that most people are not aware of what they're doing.
00:39:20
Speaker
There is no way. I refuse to believe you can 100% hide your hatred for somebody. And that goes for anyone, not just that one person. But like if I hate somebody and I'm talking to them, I will be cordial. I will talk to them as if they're my best friend or at least an acquaintance because I can control that.
00:39:43
Speaker
But I'm sure that there's 100 signals I'm giving off that I'm not even aware of. Oh, yeah. for me I want to be away from here. For me, I know that when I'm uncomfortable or if I know that I have nothing nice to say, my and you've heard me speak for minutes at a time.
00:39:57
Speaker
my sentences go to like one or two word responses. Because I know that if I allow any more energy to sling from my mouth, it will be vitriol. It will be toxic. And I do not want to do that.
00:40:08
Speaker
So like, I'm just like, nope, I have nothing nice to say right now. I've noticed if I'm uncomfortable in a situation and I don't want to be there, one thing I'll do almost all the time is I will cross my right arm over my stomach, hold my left elbow and kind of keep like,
00:40:28
Speaker
ah my left hand on my chin. Kind of like I'm stroking my beard. be like, okay, yeah, that's pretty cool. But like right I always just do that as a way to kind of shut out, I guess.
00:40:39
Speaker
um And i noticed that because Mel and I went to this ah book, like this... ah local authors thing, ah local authors meet. um And they were all trying to sell their books. And it was very much like a bazaar where like they would just scream at you constantly and pull your attention.
00:41:01
Speaker
And if you like some of the books looked interesting, but if you stopped at any of these places, you were stuck there for a half hour while they explained the entire plot of the book that they spent six years writing, which fair enough, you spent a lot of time and you're very, um, you know, passionate about it.
00:41:18
Speaker
But yeah, I noticed the, like my, my armpits and my elbow was sweaty from how I was standing the entire time. Right. You were kind of putting up armor in a way, but like still trying to like be polite and hold yourself up to like,
00:41:34
Speaker
Be presentable, but like not show your frustration. But yeah, that should. I mean, your body has ways that it's just like, well, try to keep you safe in a situation that you perceive as dangerous or uncomfortable.
00:41:46
Speaker
And you just can't even call me out. She's like, she's like, you don't want to be here right now. was like, how could you tell? She said, I know you. I can tell when you're being fake. Yeah. Yeah. yeah and Yeah, so yeah, consistency and character, man, your body will lie.
00:42:01
Speaker
ah will not lie for you most of the time, you know, like and the reason that some people, some serial killers and like psychopaths like can get as far as they do is because they can fake it for a certain amount of time.
00:42:12
Speaker
And usually it's with people that they do not know. and Or there are rose-colored goggles on the other side making you blind to things that otherwise you would perceive. So like but in 99% of situations, I would venture, people will pick up on your bullshit or they'll just leave it anyway because they don't care and they'll leave you with the Gen Z stare anyway.
00:42:32
Speaker
Because like they just don't know how to fucking interact with you because you're sending them a thousand different signals. So anyway, the point of all this that we are trying to make is... like you must be consistent in the character that you want to be. And if you are not, then you will default to the person that you are.
00:42:49
Speaker
And um who that who that is doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad person, but if it's not the person that you aspire to be, that's kind of on you, homie, because you have to put in the effort. And you can start in a lot of different ways, but the easiest way for it, in my opinion, is to embrace these wonderful words that we have that very few people, well, I shouldn't say very few, but not enough people are using on a regular basis.
00:43:11
Speaker
Actually, let's... let's combine our, our things here. You know, you just gave a whole bunch of different words for the word sexy, right? A whole bunch of different synonyms for it. So I'm going to give you all a compliment challenge today. I want you to use enchanting.
00:43:26
Speaker
Tell somebody that, you know what, you just have like a very enchanting smile today. Or even if you're just talking about like their aura, right? You're like, Oh, you're giving off like a very enchanting aura today. Like,
00:43:39
Speaker
Do it. Just go compliment somebody. Shut up. Stop right now. Whatever you're doing. and Just go compliment somebody. All right? Anything at all. Enchanting is a good place to start.
00:43:51
Speaker
Yeah. Go on. Go on. Don't be Funinstallersnetwork.biz and put, hey, Danny. Hey, Adam. You have an enchanting voice. That counts for your challenge, by the way. You can tell us.
00:44:02
Speaker
I'm fine with getting a compliment every once in a while. Why don't you take me out any anymore? You should, you should. Send Danny a compliment, tell him something about his voice that you like. Like his British accent he was doing earlier.
00:44:14
Speaker
Alright, let's get on with it then, shall we? The one more thing on the compliment challenge that I realize that might be challenging for people ah more of challenging than we realize is even if you can't tell somebody directly, another way you can do it is to reference something or someone that you think is also enchanting.
00:44:34
Speaker
So I could say, you know, I remember the first time that Danny's wife and I played tabletop role-playing games together. I found her attitude and how she approached collaboration to be very enchanting.
00:44:47
Speaker
So see how I'm not telling her directly, but I'm saying like, oh, I found her to be very enchanting to work with What did you just say about my wife? That I'm going to fucking, ooh, don't even get me started with your mom listening. Actually, I'm going to take that idea even a step further. I'm one upping the crap out of you.
00:45:05
Speaker
um You think I'm angry that people don't want to get better? That's silly. How dare you want to improve? How dare you want to improve your fucking life? If you're having a hard time, if you know things are looking a little gray lately and and you're finding it hard to love yourself, I absolutely accept it as challenge complete. If you tell yourself, you know look in the mirror and say, you know what?
00:45:31
Speaker
Fuck my thoughts. I'm enchanting. I'm looking enchanting today. I have an enchanting air about me. Because sometimes the person that needs the compliment from you the most is you.
00:45:42
Speaker
And that's okay. Absolutely. I agree with that 100 percent. And I wouldn't want to take that away from anybody. I think that is a a fantastic ah way to approach things. And even if you don't mean it, it's OK. Like you don't have to lie to yourself, but at least like find something to compliment.
00:46:00
Speaker
Mm hmm. So, you know. But sometimes it's okay to lie to yourself, too, if it's just like because it'll feel like you're lying, I guess, because maybe you don't feel like you can mean it. But like it can come from a good place, the fact that you even try. So, you know, feed into the feeling, not into the thinking. And I think you'll be surprised at how much better you can feel day to day.
00:46:19
Speaker
Live your
Closing Banter
00:46:20
Speaker
life like me. I think I'm pretty awesome. And you could feel that way too. Okay. So one, one final real quick thing before we, we log off today. Cause this is important. um Adam said he'd keep it under 20 minutes. We're at 46. Okay. Goodbye everyone.
00:46:36
Speaker
i could just split this in half. No! No! Don't be there! This will be a two-parter. No! You to you off. The people will know.
00:46:47
Speaker
They'll know. They'll know because this we haven't talked about two different questions. They'll know what you've done. So I'm going to split this into, like, two. liar! I'm just going to put a a little message in the beginning. It says, I'm going record it right now. Hey, gang. No! No, no, no,
00:47:04
Speaker
Danny was being a real fuss budget about this whole thing. And so I decided that I'm just going to, no, I'm not going to stop pigeon towing people. Pigeon towing. Do you mean a button toing buttonholing people? You're you're a buttonhole.