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Dungeon Dive Inc 16: Breaking Locks and Chucking Socks
57 Plays9 months ago
The heist is one! Or the scam is on! Whatever it's called, the gang is the house of the nefarious archbishop where they hope to panic the bad boy into exposing himself... I mean exposing that he's not who he portrays himself to be! But what happens when you corner a wild archbishop? Let's find out! You can now find all of our links in one convenient place, enjoy them here: https://linktr.ee/funinstallers. Thanks for listening!
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Transcript
Introduction with Chaotic Energy
00:00:00
Speaker
If all of your part of participles were cleaned up, I would have less allergies Welcome to the show listening with your ears and your heart
00:00:15
Speaker
Oh, speaking of ass, I just busted it because I didn't know we're on recording and oh, my God, I want to die. I want to D is German. Oh, my God. Are your eyes watering? Oh, no, my fucking I just I feel like somebody took like a hot burning firework and shoved it up my fucking nose. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to start
Theme Introduction: Fantasy Adventures
00:00:34
Speaker
over now. Hey, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. That's the life we've done.
00:00:40
Speaker
We don't cast up and Adam is smelling the stench of corpse life now we brought her back to life we're here to play dungeon diving we fantasy we role play we goblin we human we work.
00:00:59
Speaker
That's really all you need to know. Tulip the orc is played by Cass and protects the goblin. He's played by Adrian. Oh, why didn't I make that noise? I'm going to edit that out.
Character Introductions
00:01:12
Speaker
I was going to say, there's nothing about his name that makes you need to do that nerdy stuffy voice that you're preparing to do just now. That's the noise that we usually make if we're going to be like everybody. We'll go, what are you doing? You're playing sucky. Yeah, or if I'm playing sucky, that's true.
00:01:26
Speaker
Lastly, but not least early, is Adam there playing boompa-pah, the wizard male. He's a booman. He's a booman male. He's a booman male. And also there's Betsy the doll. Can't forget her. And Jessica. You finally remembered.
00:01:43
Speaker
And Dwayne and Dwayne and Dwayne Jesus crime you guys with the side here. It's room seven.
Plan to Expose the Archbishop's Corruption
00:01:48
Speaker
You already had an episode come out. We can't not forget them. Well, you know, they're all part of the heist. Yeah. Which brings us to the next great segue. What's happening? They're finally they're finally going into the house of the Archbishop of the Church of Alka Alta Alta's Ash, who is also who is swindling money from the people in the name of the church. And they're going to go in there.
00:02:12
Speaker
And they're going to kind of make it look like they broke in, but not take anything, maybe take something depending on how they feel about it. Just to give them a little scare, you know, make them get a little nervous, make a mistake. And boom had put a surveillance magical spell in the man's office. So when he goes in there and talks about things, he will be on blast and
00:02:32
Speaker
And also the guy, the priest, Father Aimsley, holy shit, there's a lot of moving parts here, is going to gather people up in the courtyard area in front of, like the town square area in front of the church. That way they can hopefully drag out the Archbishop and expose him, exposing style.
00:02:52
Speaker
Also, the protects in Tulip are disguised, roughly disguised as Archbishop Erica. I think he did a mid success on the disguise spell. They look close enough that they won't at least look like themselves when they if they get caught. And what's his name? Protect's gall went around the back door. He loves going in the back. He punched it. He punched it open and he said, I forgot my keys.
Infiltration of the Archbishop's House
00:03:17
Speaker
Sorry.
00:03:53
Speaker
I forgot he said, I forgot my keys to no one. That was my favorite fucking part. No one is around you guys. I forgot my keys. I cover your tracks. And maybe that's someone inside. I never do know. I forgot all about that. But okay.
00:04:12
Speaker
uh which we got here for us today um protects you smashed in the back door also if you're not suffering i'd say booms out in the street he he really uh he he really made himself be the easiest job he's looking he's doing lookout
00:04:25
Speaker
Obviously, I'm the magic man, which I think tulip was like Okay. Yeah, sure. You're not gonna go in the house and do the do the sneaking around where you can stay outside She seemed like she's a little miffed about it. But anyway protects just smashing the back door Let's go back to tulip in the front. She walked around the front of the house What are you doing in the front of the house? I I assume that I hear him bust the door down and say I forgot my keys and
00:04:52
Speaker
So I'm just going to see if the door is just unlocked. It's locked. There is. It's not magically is not like a whole house. The house is like, oh, shit, one of the doors has been unlocked. Well, you never know. He didn't. He only tested out the back door and then busted it in before I could get around to the front. So it's like the house is just like final open. Don't break me anymore. Archbishop is very careful and he locks all his doors and windows and things.
00:05:23
Speaker
Well, then she's going to knock on the front door and hope that protects, just lets her in. Go to the back door to open up the front door. So to look into the front door, I'm not going back around. Fuck that. It's not like a very, like at least like square footage wise, not like a huge house that has like a second floor or maybe or whatever, but it's like not like a super.
00:05:51
Speaker
Big space, but there's a lot of like rooms and and protects you got adrenaline get running through your veins because you forgot your keys So roll sense for me to see if you can hear that knock at the front door while you're a couple rooms back in the house Ready to do some robbery
00:06:08
Speaker
That's free. You don't notice that. So how long would you wait in the front? She would like wait just a few seconds and then end up turning around sitting down on the front step and playing with Betsy instead.
00:06:27
Speaker
OK, so this is a protects mission now. OK, we'll go. We'll leave you sit there for a few minutes, I guess. Do you think that I would hear the door being punched in and him yelling, I forgot my keys since I'm over by the fence. I helped him hop over. I'm out of my mind. Well, you wouldn't you walk towards the front street areas and you're trying to keep watch. I mean, I guess kind of. I don't I don't really know where the street is, but yeah, I'd probably go wherever.
Street Distractions and House Chaos
00:06:57
Speaker
I don't want to look like I'm hanging out in front of his gate, but like I'd probably be somewhere in the vicinity. Okay. I say, I mean, you probably heard it and then you probably, I would say you're, I guess if you want to notice her, I was going to give you a couple of minutes, let protects do some stuff and have you look around. I don't want to, I don't want to interfere in it. I just want to know if I heard him yelling. I forgot my keys. You probably would have a little bit just slightly from the backyard. That guy loves punching doors. Damn, he's all about it.
00:07:24
Speaker
So Protex, you're in this back room, you're in sort of like a little entry sort of way that leads on to like a little sitting area type of thing with some doors and a couple of doors on a couple of different walls. And that's what you're in right now. What do you want to do with your life? Just like out of game for a second. Our initial plan was to just like make a chaos and not steal things, right? Yes. OK.
00:07:52
Speaker
Unless like you see a shiny pen or something that you think would be cool. This is something you really wanted. Yeah, something like you really, really need. But we're not robbing the guy. That's not the original intent. It's to look like it's to look like you were looking for something like to just go in, just like open up drawers, take stuff out of them, you know, just to kind of make it look like someone was looking for something that way to hopefully convince him to move his shit or to like
00:08:17
Speaker
You know, or to, you know, or to move whatever he has secretly that we need to expose him for. So I want to go upstairs and look for his bedroom. OK, OK. You kind of wander around a little bit. You find the stairs and like a hallway outside one of the doors and you go up the stairs and there's like a little short hallway. There's like probably just two doors on your side of the hall. They're both closed. Which way do you go? Right or left?
00:08:47
Speaker
I choose right. Okay, that's great. It was a little damning trick. Wherever you want your players to go, give them the choice and to make that the choice they make before you wanted them to go. I thought it was something silly. When you open the door, you see there's a dark room. There's like some heavy curtains over the windows. There's like a big four poster bed with like sort of like those like old timey
00:09:11
Speaker
you know like curtains hanging around it too but they're not like there's like the fancy like kind of see-through windows they're kind of like dark and covered as well and um you hear father is that you father uh i'm close to talking oh father my pants full i checked the other door okay
00:09:39
Speaker
Um, you go into that door and it's a very nice lavish bedroom. Also has a four poster, but also with curtains on it, but they're not quite as like, you know, heavy and covered in bed and shit. And the windows are curtains are not quite as dark. And, uh, uh, there's like a desk chair, some wardrobe situations happening in big, tall mirror. Um, and what are you doing with yourself in there?
00:10:01
Speaker
I'm going to look for like something like a chest or like a safe or something we would keep like valuables
Spreading Rumors and Public Suspicion
00:10:09
Speaker
in. Oh, okay. Um, I'd probably say on the, um, around the desk, there's like some little, uh, like, uh, little cabinets and things. And on top of one, there's like a little, like, sort of like, it looks like a, like a strong lock kind of box, like a little heavy, um, latch latch box there, latch box 20. That's it open.
00:10:31
Speaker
Hell no, man, what do you think? I'm just going to take it with me. Oh. And then try and make like a chaos of the whole room. Nice, nice. I'm not going to go over that. You can just pull out some drawers, throw shit around. But I will try to not make as much noise of more time in the house. OK, OK.
00:10:58
Speaker
So you're going to carefully make chaos. So yeah, it's not like an actual, not like actually, you're not ripping the drawers, you're just kind of open the drawer, pick the papers up, pick the papers up, like leaf them across the floor a little bit. You're going into his sock drawer, you're just dropping his socks around the floor, throwing it on the bed, maybe put a couple of his drawers on his bed. I mean, you make a little bit of a mess there quietly and calmly. It's not a big deal. Okay. Okay. And then, sorry, good.
00:11:25
Speaker
We're going to take one of those socks, go back to the other room, and throw it at the other person. The Suckin' Thief strikes again. You open the door. Father, is that you again? What is that? He's their own father. I'm gonna close the door. I can't piss on a sock, Father.
00:11:49
Speaker
And while you were doing that, Tulip, you've been out there for a couple of minutes and boom. I don't know if you're going to notice Tulip's just sitting on the porch for a couple of minutes, but you guys are both out there for that time that he was doing that. I don't think I would really, again, I probably wouldn't look back a whole lot. I would just be looking to see if anybody else is approaching the manor at all.
00:12:10
Speaker
Um, if they're not, then I'd just be like chilling, just trying to do like street magic or something just to like pass the time. Um, that way it doesn't look like I'm being a lookout sort of a, uh, what kind of thing are you doing?
00:12:22
Speaker
Uh, probably, um, using like spectral hands to make it look like I'm juggling while my hands are in my pockets or something. Oh, nice, nice. Uh, like a dude comes by with his, like, his little, uh, fancy little breeches and his tall little white stockings up to his knees. And he's got like pointed curly shoes and a hat and a big curly note, like a pointy nose all stuck up. And he's like, Oh, are you doing a public showing? Well, I mean,
00:12:51
Speaker
I guess I'm in public, so sure. Yeah, let's call it that. Oh, how entertaining! I love when the lesser people come around and make fools of themselves. Do you have a pie or something you're gonna throw at your own face? Uh, no, but I could throw one at someone else if you want.
00:13:07
Speaker
Oh, would you? There's quite a few people who live around here. I would like to see that. But no, it would cause too much of a fuss. Anyway, I hope you're not asking for money, and I'm not going to give you any. Goodbye. No, actually, I don't want any money at all. Actually, I was just dying to know where you got those killer shoes.
00:13:24
Speaker
Oh, um, are you, I hold on. I must pull up the map of the town as I forgotten the names of the places. And let me bring it up in my brain. Ah, what's your, what's your name there? The mister. My name is Hembold P. Butterbottom the third.
00:13:40
Speaker
Humboldt P. Butterbottom III. Wow, I hadn't heard of the first two of you. Of the Butterbottoms fame, you may know us as the Butterbottoms. Oh, you guys make the turkeys, right? That everybody gets for Thanksgiving, the Butterbottom turkeys. Really, my great grandfather, what was my name? Humboldt Butterbottom I. He was just known as Humboldt Butterbottom at that time. He created the whole tradition of serving turkeys on that day for all the dummies to buy the turkeys from us.
00:14:08
Speaker
Wow, that's crazy. You ever think about how interesting that is that when you know you're going to name your kids the same name you have, that you kind of gain another title without having to do any other work?
00:14:23
Speaker
both butter bottom and then you're like and you know also that I was born to be honest with you I have not me nor my father since my grandfather made that whole holiday thing up none of us have really done anything of note so it's pretty nice we've at least got this the third thing going that I can say that when it makes me sound important yeah that's pretty cool hey if you killed your dad does that mean that you become the second
00:14:47
Speaker
No. Okay. I just assumed that you get your numbers based on how many of you there are left. So if your dad dies, that makes you, or if your granddad dies, that promotes him to one, your dad to one, and you to two, right? I'm not quite sure. He's like scratching, he's like, oh, it works. I don't actually know. My. Yeah, well, hey, good luck with you. Anyway, well, before you leave, you got to tell me when you got those killer shoes.
00:15:17
Speaker
Oh yes, Sartori's clothing shop. It's got two P's and an E on the end of it. It's up on the main street there, right? The main drag. I see. Are you a magic man by chance? No, I don't partake in that sort of thing. It's beyond my head. Oh, it's too bad. All right. Well, hey, just one more question before you go there, stranger. Must have bought a bottom number three.
00:15:46
Speaker
What do you think about the situation around here involving no places to pee and poop? Digging some more trenches and whatnot for the sewage? Oh, you mean, are you with that fellow who was trying to get them to put more pissing holes in the bridges?
00:16:07
Speaker
I mean, I'm not with him, just he asked me, and I hadn't really noticed that there was a problem, and now I'm starting to notice it, and I was curious if you had noticed it as well. Oh, well, fortunately,
Observation and True Persona of the Archbishop
00:16:18
Speaker
I don't piss anywhere publicly. I'm above that sort of thing, you see. And also, if I do need to, I just holler into the pissing hole compartment
00:16:30
Speaker
Hey there, you lowly peasant. Better needs to piss, move you along. And if they don't get out, I get a guardsman to push him down in the hole and they get down stuck in the river. That's pretty funny. And I piss and shit on them. Well, that gets us one way to do it. So I've never noticed any trouble with that. But I did hear there was a fellow who did have a petition going and he caused quite a stir because he got 500 names or something. It was amazing.
00:16:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, good for him. Good for him. Apparently the man is quite pissed. Yeah. All right, cool. Was that the ice bitch if I spy on his stupa? Oh, I was about to say, excuse me, so I will go talk to him, but I don't want to bother him if he looks very contemplative there. I'd best leave this. Can I see from where we're standing? Can I see that Tulip is doing that? Yeah.
00:17:16
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So I heard that recently he took up, you know, a new type of meditation for when he has a really stressful day. So if you know he's sitting outside on a stoop that he had a really bad day and best not to cross him. So have you down in the pisshole if you know what I'm saying. A new meditation? Is it an Altus Ash approved meditation or is he getting a little off script?
00:17:40
Speaker
I mean, I don't want to... Listen, you didn't hear it from me, but it's definitely off script, okay? It's very scandalous. I've heard rumors about him with the money and whatnot, but I would believe it to be a blasphemer as well. I've got to go to the nicest tavern around and tell everyone about it. See you later. Listen, before you do, I hear that right around now,
00:18:07
Speaker
You know, he might be heading his way over there to get a snack once he's done meditating. So if you see him, he's got to keep it hush, hush. Oh, shit. I'm not. I'll wait until you're right. I'll wait until later when he's I know he's not going to get right. He usually does come around. Because he'll see you talking smack. And then, you know, like I said, I'll have you down in the piss trenches. Yes, I will be the one in the piss trenches this time. Oh, word. You're good thinking. I'm just going to go do a little stroll around and thank you for it. Goodbye. All right. Toodaloo.
00:18:36
Speaker
Anything else you want to do? I just get a quick call to Tulip while she's playing with her doll. OK, Tulip, you get a buzz on your sending stone. You hear Miss Susie had a steam that the steam had. What the? Hold on. See, we'll do this in a second. Yes, this is Tulip.
Covert Operations and Final Preparations
00:18:58
Speaker
Oh, hey, Tulip. I just got two questions I need to ask you real quick.
00:19:05
Speaker
um number one number one house betsy um well she's good we're having fun playing miss susie yeah yeah i saw that number two why the hell are you not in the house right now protex wouldn't let me in so i'm waiting for him oh you see just don't
00:19:28
Speaker
Okay, how did he get it? Well, you know what? I know how he got in. He likes punching doors. Just go around the back and go in the way. Just call him on his stone and tell him to come over the door.
00:19:39
Speaker
Ugh, fine. There's people asking questions out here, Tulip. I mean, Archbishop? Archbishop Tulip? Archbishop? Archbishop? I forgot we were on a mission. It's easy for me to forget.
00:20:00
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to Jessica. Go talk to Jessica and Dwayne and Dwayne and Protex and tell him to hurry up in there because people are like street traffic starting to pick up. And any minute now, the doofus is going to be done with his lunch. Fine. She goes, she stands up and goes back around the back and goes inside. All right. Oh, Tex, where are you? Oh, you want to run the back instead of calling them? Yep.
00:20:28
Speaker
Okay. How loud do you say that? As loud as I can yell. Okay. So you're, uh, you're, you're upstairs. Can I finish up your job protects? Would you have left the door open? I guess you walked out of the room. You're like, you close the door after throwing the sock at the whoever that was in that room. And you hear a tool of screaming, uh, for you and, uh, whoever she just said. So you need to be quiet. There's a person here.
00:20:58
Speaker
My God, you guys are so bossy lately. Come on then. I come downstairs. So what took you so long? I was waiting for you to come get me inside. You said you were going in the front, in the back and I was going in the front and then you never showed up to get me. I mean, I don't remember that being part of the plan, but I know you're here. How about we... I knocked on the door. Yes, well, and then leave.
00:21:30
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Let's go up to like some place, like put train on like a pedestal or something. It's like, yeah, you make like a chaos right over here and I'll go over there. You're telling Dwayne to make chaos there? Yes. Okay. What are you going to do, Tulip?
00:21:53
Speaker
I'm not really sure at this point. I guess she's just going to stand there and wait for him to do whatever fuckery he's going to do and. Cut to cut to me as Adam. As far as. Classic Arrested Development Pose was like, I've made a terrible mistake. I should just run into myself. You're just roughing the place up a little more.
00:22:23
Speaker
You say you're just going to mess the place up a little more? Oh, yeah. So you do that and Tulips seems like she doesn't remember the plan. And then you look over where Dwayne The Rock, you sat him and he's not made a mess at all while you're making your little mess. Now, last time since I saw you, you really lost your spark. Last time you were quite bigger.
00:22:46
Speaker
Me, Bigger, what are you talking about? I'm talking to Twain. I have like this cute memory in my head where he was like really big. Um, but yeah. Should we leave now? I guess she just wishes over and pushes over a chair.
00:23:06
Speaker
Hey, go let's spear it. Oh, shit. Starts running out. Punk, punk, punk. So I crab, train, crab, train again and run out as well.
00:23:27
Speaker
Nice. You guys run out there and you see them coming out of the door.
Public Chaos and Manipulation
00:23:33
Speaker
I'm assuming they go through the front door to get out there easier and they see you there and you guys all see each other. I do like a yelling whisper. I'm like, guys, you don't have to run. Act like you belong there. I feel like you're the twins. Slow down. Walk out normal, you doofus.
00:23:54
Speaker
Oh, yes, I'm totally the Archbishop, right? Tulip, you were supposed to catch me. We were playing tag, haha. Oh, yeah, right. Hey, Josh, we all know the Archbishop twins. I love tag. Oh, do you want to cast Disenchant on him there once they leave the property and they kind of walk down the street a bit? Yeah, I'll drop the. I would probably like to see people milling up and down the street.
00:24:26
Speaker
One twats, boom, and sack. Hey, it's you. Yep, that's true. It's me. And it's you. As I dropped their disguises. I would like to real quick to try to remember the best I can what butter bottom look like, and then have it look like he's running out the back door, like create like an illusion of him running away from the back door and hopping the fence. Okay, roll mine for me.
00:24:56
Speaker
Really need this to work game. So come on. Do this nice thing for me. Roll nice dice. Play dice. Roll nice. How's a nine? That's a true success. You hear from the back, you hear a little your little spell effect goes off and you hear, oh my I'm running. And you hear like the rustling of the leaves or the hedges and stuff.
00:25:22
Speaker
You know, I want to kind of talk into my into my my stick, like my staff, like it's like a microphone, like a microphone so I can kind of pop it what he's saying. And he's running down. I'm like, like you say, like, oh, yes, I'm running away. I totally didn't break into the archbishop's house as he's like running into the street, the crowd.
00:25:40
Speaker
Mr. Butterbottom, with that, what are you doing? Nothing, girl, nice breeches, meh. Just have them run until the spell disappears. OK, cool, cool. OK, you've done that. OK, just trying to cover our tracks. You've framed a poor, innocent, shitty person. He pisses on poor people. An innocent, wealthy, shitty person.
00:26:05
Speaker
I don't know if he's innocent yet. He's a shitty guy. Dicks get in trouble around here. Anyway, see, you guys are all back together. Dicks get in trouble around here. Y'all look like yourselves again. Dicks get caught around here. You guys catching dicks? Anyway, so what's you guys doing next now? Stealing socks and catching dicks is what we're going to do. You know that was totally pebbles.
00:26:34
Speaker
Yeah, it was pebbles. No, you have the rocks, Dwayne Dwayne's Dwayne twins. Yeah. And they even left little pebbles, so it's even better. They left pebbles? You're not supposed to leave a trace. Go back and clean the pebbles, Protex. I mean, it's too late now. No, it's not too late. Get the hell back in there and go pick up the pebbles. They're going to identify Dwayne. They're going to identify the rocks we have. I mean, for anyone, Dwayne should go back and not me.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah, just throw them up in there. Okay, I'm just kidding. Don't let's just get out of here. We got it. We got to go meet Evan in the park or whatever.
00:27:20
Speaker
Right. Wasn't wasn't Anderson. What's his name? Ankle? Anglesley. And a little town, a little town, a little square in front of the church. The town square. That's it. Yeah. You ever got to go me a aim? A. We got to go Ainsley.
00:27:37
Speaker
Yep, yep, you go a really good way. You got to be Ashley down at the down square. All right, so you work over that way. It's not that far. You see, he's, um, he's like, he's got a box. He's standing. He's like, come, uh, how the fuck can you talk? All right, everybody, come on. Gather around. Here it is. Everybody, I'm going to tell you all about Altus Ash, a nice little mid days. Uh, it's, it's like the, it's like the lunch you've got to eat. You got to eat these words up. It's going to fill you up in your soul hole. All right.
00:28:08
Speaker
People are starting to gather around that protects guy. What'd you say? I said some tasty words. Yes. Yes. Got some tasty, tasty words for you guys. Some tasty words for your mouth ears. So you guys see him. He's got a little bit of some people gathering up around that little like little fountain down in front of the church and the little pet like, uh,
00:28:34
Speaker
Paved area there. What's your what's your maneuver meant? I don't know. Hey, Tulip,
Infiltration of the Basement
00:28:43
Speaker
quick question for you. Of course. So what exactly did you guys do in the house? Because I haven't seen it. I pushed over a chair.
00:28:59
Speaker
He's like fucking boom just does like like a 10 second just stare. And then without saying a word, he just turned his head to Protex. So, Protex, what happened in there? So, like, after like two totally abandoned me, I took it upon myself to like create like all the chaos myself.
00:29:24
Speaker
Yeah, but what did you do? I went upstairs and I made a mess of his socks and pull out his drawers. There was also a person in one of those rooms and he called for his father. Then I went downstairs and then I crossed some more mess down there. You also stole that box.
00:29:50
Speaker
I imagine he's saying that. I was going to say, I imagine Protex is not going to tell me about it. Yeah, he's not going to admit it. Which I was going to ask just because I did say you could take something shiny. Like, did you take anything shiny in there? I mean, like we got to be careful about what we take in case like it's enchanted or something. We probably want to enchant a pen. To go with something, yeah.
00:30:14
Speaker
OK, well, as long as it was anything too big, like I said, like whatever. But, you know, we have to make it look like we were looking to take something, but we couldn't find it. So as long as you didn't take anything super valuable, we should be good. It should be our own hand size. I almost turned into Arnold Schwarzenegger for a second. I got a second. Back to the front of the church. Hey, guys, get to the chopper. OK, so so what?
00:30:41
Speaker
You know what, I should probably do a quick scan of you guys to make sure that you're not leaving with any sort of like magical residence. Not residence, that's not the word, like residue or resonance. I think you were right the first time. He didn't leave with the magical, you didn't leave with the house, did you? Roll, roll, roll mind once more for me to see if you can do that. I just want to see if I can do like a quick old, a 15. I'm like holding my staff like up and down, both of them kind of like, like one of those metal detecting ones.
00:31:08
Speaker
Was was was till it's clear. I'm trying to think. I know it protects. He's clear, too. OK, as long as like we didn't leave with any sort of like tracking spells, like I'm pretty much doing detect magic, but on them for something. Yeah, he's fine. It's fine. All right. Good. Right on. Hey. All right, team. Looks like we. Well, we did the first part and now we just have to see what the rest of it works.
00:31:34
Speaker
Hula, thank you so much for tipping over that chair. I think that's really going to ruffle his feathers. You're welcome. I mean, how did you do it? Did you kick it? Did you push it? Did you punch it? I just pushed it over, and I said, yes, that'll do. Oh, yeah. You know, he's going to feel that when he comes in. He's going to be like, oh, my chair. Or however he talks. Yeah, he's going to be so pissed off. But where was the chair at? Was it in his study?
00:32:00
Speaker
It was somewhere downstairs. I wasn't really sure what kind of room it was, but I'm pretty sure it was like just outside the kitchen, probably where he puts on his shoes. And I know that probably is just going to piss him off even more because he is going to come inside the door. He's going to take off his shoes and he can't take off his shoes because the chair is over on its side. Brilliant, isn't it? I know. Everybody knows it.
00:32:29
Speaker
Everybody knows that odd bishops cannot change their shoes without their chair. Exactly. That's common knowledge. He should have taken his chair completely. I should have. You're already carrying a table on your back. And so if tulips carry a chair on her back, I might look a little suspicious. Weird ideas about us. All right. So yeah, let's face everything. He's gathering the crowd up.
00:32:56
Speaker
Can I check, uh, can I check my book to see if a guy has left, I guess I would know if he left the bar, but if, if there's anybody still in his office or not, you sure as fuck can you open that shit up and his office is empty at the moment. Okay, cool. I just want to keep checking it. Damn. I probably should have put a tracking spell in that fucking house. I dare not a tracking spell, but a, but a surveillance spell in that house, but I didn't. Yeah.
00:33:19
Speaker
And we have to really like make some, make them do some very specific things to get you to have what you want to have. That's true. You know what? I'm going to teleport back there and I'm going to cast a spell on that. OK, cool. Going back inside. Guys, I'll be right back. I just have to do a quick thing real fast. I'm just going to try to do it.
00:33:44
Speaker
So I'm going to teleport to where I can kind of see like maybe the back door. OK. And I want to try to fire like a little spell in there, like a little orb, like a little surveillance orb or something that I can. What did I say it looked like before? I can't remember. I think I disguised it as like it was invisible to everybody else, but you. Yeah, like a candle or something. I think I put it on. Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah. But yeah, you you put it as you put it on a chandelier.
00:34:08
Speaker
Yeah. All right. I'm going to try to cast one through the back door since it's open. All right. Rolled out mine again. All right. Come on, baby. Let's go. Come on, baby. 18. Yeah, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Everything you want. And it goes to. I sound
Uncovering Secrets in the Basement
00:34:21
Speaker
a big spell. So, yeah, I'm just going to like I'm going to as surreptitiously as I possibly can just like maybe aim my stick like over the over towards the door and just. And I'm just like fired in there and whatever thing sticks to. That's what the fuck it's going to be on because I can't really determine that.
00:34:38
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna teleport back to oh, I forgot to say I got to teleport back to my friends boink Thanks, I won't know where to put the sound in I say you're back with them. They're still standing there watching Aimsley gather a crowd up people kind of trickle in as he was a kid going around earlier telling everybody to meet him there or to come there later and
00:35:03
Speaker
You know, well, if that has happening, I want to like look for like a dark corner where I like notice many people see me and like start looking in my box. Oh, he's going to go right to the box in the middle of the day. It's like at lunchtime. You probably find like a little, a little like slot between a couple of buildings. You can like kind of conquer down and where there's some boxes and shit, because it's like sort of like a market little square. So it was like a little nook where you can hide behind some shit. Yeah. You can open that shit up. Yeah.
00:35:33
Speaker
It's locked though, what are you going to do? I'm going to try to pry it open with my hands. Nice, use your bow body roll to see if you can bow pry it open.
00:35:45
Speaker
It's an eight. It's an eight. Holy shniznit. Guess what, motherfucker? It's a mid-range success, so it kind of hurts your fingertips. Ouchies. I'm assuming you're trying to just rip the lid open. You're just trying to prime it, you said? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you kind of do that, and since you're yanking and really pulling, it pops open all of a sudden, and the shit just flies everywhere. I don't know.
00:36:15
Speaker
I want that clip of Adrian to be my text message tone.
00:36:26
Speaker
So yeah, like a coin purse flops out and some coins start rolling down like out of the out of the alley you're in and they roll into the street a little bit couple coins do but you can like scoop up the coins. There's like some little rolls of paper and shit in there. Really nice. There's really nice quill pen in there like a golden eagle feather pen. I knew I knew a pen would leave that house. And there's like a little
00:36:47
Speaker
like a little like almost like a bobble kind of thing like a little like just like a little crystal little orb kind of thing sitting there too you have it's like fits into palm of your hand do any of the other towns people see coins rolling in the street um you hear look mommy some coins and she's sending you here get out of the way kid i'm getting those fucking coins
00:37:09
Speaker
I'm gonna try to grab everything that's within the area and then try to leave to the opposite side where the people are. Okay, that's fine. You can squeeze your little goblin arse out of there. No sweat. When you're on the other side of that building, you're not on the other side of the square from your friends, but you're further down away from them now when you see Aimsley is still standing there. Come on, everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Steve, thanks for coming, man. Oh, yeah, I'm glad you came, brother. Come on.
00:37:45
Speaker
Oh shit he's here? Oh damn, okay. Does he look like he's talking to anybody yet? Does he look like he's like whispering shit?
00:37:55
Speaker
Humboldt. He's not really, I guess. He just kind of like wonder what's going on right now because he didn't he didn't catch some what's his face saying what he was there for. I just like I want to I want to kind of start trying to like disguise my voice and be like, I had the Archbishop is into some shady shit. Or like Black Magic's blasphemer like, yeah, what they said.
00:38:24
Speaker
Sorry. Yeah, I agree with you a little puppy. See, he gets it. He gets it. That dog's got a point. That dog's got a point. Yeah, listen to the dog over there. Yeah, I just want to start trying to just plant some seeds of discomfort about
00:38:46
Speaker
I'll allow it. I won't make it roll for it. Just like a few like little whispers because I want to see if they make their way to humble bottom or whatever his name was. You said that his voice is like, ah, you know, I like to people was I was like, I have some, some, some salubrious things. Like meditation. Oh my. He's like, like in, in boom as has to like,
00:39:16
Speaker
He has to steal every bone in his body to resist from doing the finger tent and going, excellent. And so he's imagining real hard that he's doing it in his head. He's like, yeah, that's nice. Roll nerve to see if you can not do it. Yeah. What'd you say? Roll nerve. Roll nerve. So you can keep your cool. Lucky number 11. I'm going to reroll it. Okay. Lucky number 11. I'm going to reroll it.
00:39:42
Speaker
um you like your fingers are twitching but you're you're okay yeah like you just see like my knuckles like turning white from like me trying to like keep him from touching touching fingertips um and uh i guess you'll hear you'll uh time for the presentations hear from your book it goes that's uh you know that's it telling you it's it's picked up something
00:40:08
Speaker
OK, when he goes, I open it up real slowly, just like and kind of fit my nose in there, like, let's see what's going on. And you see, you see like that, the little rumpus kind of room I explained to Protex, there's a door open and you kind of hear. I can't forget his normal voice was when he wasn't doing his his his fucking Joel Osteen voice. But what the hell is this bull's also sitting on the run?
00:40:34
Speaker
Jeff, what the hell did you hear with him? Father, oh, you threw a sock at me, father. Well, what the hell is going on here? I have no clue what you're saying. And he said, Jeff, what the hell went on in here? And he said, someone threw a sock at me, father. And then even more, I'll put you here. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:40:59
Speaker
Because God is beating the shit out of his son, Jeff. Well, fucking judges are fucked up. Oh, yeah. I'm going to start casting it like right now. I start casting it right now. You're projecting. Yes. Okay. Um, go ahead. Roll mind.
00:41:17
Speaker
14, baby. Oh, yeah, brother. You put like we just make like a big screen double sided for everybody to see. Yeah, just like a big like floating. I want to try to be as surreptitious as I can because I don't want people to know that I'm doing it, but I want to cast like what's I want to like maybe sit like maybe like, I don't know, up against like a wall or something so no one can see my book and I want to like project it.
00:41:37
Speaker
What's in the book up into the town square where Aimsley is? So everybody can see like the demeanor of even if they don't see him doing anything like quite outright yet Like they're going to see that his demeanor is not how he acts in front of the people Someone's rumpus room. I think it is
00:42:13
Speaker
He's going to the church? Yeah
00:42:20
Speaker
Okay, it does he have to cross to the town square to see that cuz they don't want him to see that I'm doing that As long as you don't as long as I know he's not come to the town square I'm gonna keep it. I'm gonna keep it up. Well, I guess it doesn't matter now because he's not in there anymore What the hell was that? Oh, I don't know I think
00:42:39
Speaker
I've been in there. That's the archbishops rumpus room. You ain't been in the archbishops rumpus room. You know I have. That's it right there. That didn't sound like the archbishop and people just can't do that kind of shit. Okay, I'm just gonna keep it up and I'm gonna switch channels over to his office. How much is this now? Oh, I know what that is. That's the archbishops rectory. I've been in there many times.
00:43:04
Speaker
as a young boy. Hey, guys. Hey, guys, come here. Come here for a second. Come here for a second. Tulip. What's up? What's up? First of all, the one of you guys, he said a box was missing. The one of you guys take a box from there. She looks at Protex. You little Luke goblin bastard. Did you take a box? He said this lockbox was taken. You know, it wasn't that big, so I thought it wouldn't be that much of a problem.
00:43:34
Speaker
I asked you if you took anything and you said no. I told you I took a little something. You know what? You did say that. I should have been more particular. Was it bigger than a pen? Did you take something bigger than a pen? Okay. All right. You know what? It's fine. I don't know if y'all saw that, but apparently there's something really nifty in the basement that we're missing out on. So we got to get back in there. Okay.
00:43:59
Speaker
Okay, let's. I guess I can't go in there. I have to keep projecting to spell because I'm about to expose that son of a bitch when he goes into his office. And then all of a sudden someone's beside you. Oh, hey, because I see you started doing a show. Am I going to like, should I start laying it on fix saying he's a jerk? Like that wasn't really too expository right there. What you showed though, I see it as office now.
00:44:20
Speaker
You are a grand narrator. Narrate everything that you saw and make it as juicy as you possibly can. This is it, right? I'm going full in. This is your moment. Alcatraz blesses you. You gotta go do this. Okay, all right. You folks hear that? That was the fucking Archbishop. He's a dick. He's taking all your monies. He's putting in his... You see that rumpus room? Look, that's his office right now. Look at how nice that shit is. That leather chair. He bought that with your money, Steven. My money. That's what Steven...
00:44:50
Speaker
And then the door to that room opens up and he's like, holy shit, they took all my shit, those sons of, what are they doing? They didn't get into the vault and he's calmed me. Calm down. I was wanting to say, okay. Anything. This place is good. This place is good. Okay. Oh, son. I hate this fucking piss. This fucking town. You see that? He hates this fucking town. I didn't even know how he talks. He's been doing an act this whole time. Why isn't he using his nice little sweet Southern kind of voice? I don't know.
00:45:16
Speaker
That's a great question. Why isn't he doing his sweet voice? Oh, I've heard that voice before many times in his record. Jimmy, shut up! Shut up, Louise. Okay, that's kind of going on.
00:45:37
Speaker
Uh, as, as he's scrambling to do anything, as he's sitting down, as he pacing, is he looking at anything? I want to see like where his eyes are going. He's kind of double checking everything in his checking his drawers and everything. Make sure that he's okay. And he looks, he sees it like it's not the shovel in there. So he's like, okay, they didn't get in here. Calm, calm down. Calm down. It's all right. You still got constituents. You still got your constituents. It's okay. All right. Uh,
00:46:05
Speaker
Maybe I ought to. I have a question. Yeah. What are constituents? Constituents are like if you're like in some sort of position of power, usually it's in politics. You'll hear the word the most. But like constituents are like your supporters, the people who voted for you or that support you or that want you in the position that you're in, the ones that you're supposed to serve. But sometimes they don't always. Yeah. OK, question answered. He leaves the office.
00:46:35
Speaker
Yeah, see, he's a liar. He put his voice on at the end there.
00:46:41
Speaker
It's the whole, it's all a forest. You see the Carassian church across the river, they don't nearly take as much money. They're not nearly as huge, but everybody's happy. I mean, we don't believe in that shit, but still, they don't do what he does. You don't need to pay money to get to heaven. You don't need to pay money to see heaven. It's all a lie. I mean, it's kind of bullshit. Like, I mean, I can't get a good seat in that place because I can't pay enough money. You know, it's kind of bullshit. I'm not going to have to do anything because I can't pay anything. Yeah, it's bullshit.
00:47:11
Speaker
Um, then I want to just keep whispering, just like, like, I heard that he's, he's, he's using money for ill, ill-gotten means. I had, I said, you whispered, you whispered to a guy beside me. He's like, Oh, okay. He's like, Hey everybody, I heard he's using money for ill-gotten means. What else do you guys think that was good for me, man?
00:47:34
Speaker
They're eating this up. Meanwhile, he's looking right at my face and I'm just doing as many different actions as I can. And I was like, oi, oi, oi, oi. And he doesn't believe in out-to-sash at all. Everybody knows I heard he doesn't even believe in out-to-sash at all. And people are like, oh shit, really? Really, John? Yeah, it's crazy. Man, people are laughing at us. Do what else you got for me? They love me. I'm on fire.
00:48:00
Speaker
I heard that evil man likes when the city gets more poor and he really hates poor people. He likes when the city is poor and he hates the poor people. Yeah, fuck that guy, right?
00:48:19
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Let's go get him. And all of a sudden they pulled me, like they reached to their hips and they pull out like pitchforks and torches out of nowhere. Let's get him. Perfect callback. Just say both, both, both. I like that place. Like, oh, we don't even like do a whole riot situation.
00:48:46
Speaker
I know we're fucking off now, brothers. The trains already started. Let's get in there and they start rushing me up the church steps. They're going to follow. You follow them just to look at this. Listen, you guys got to keep an eye on Evan. He's a he might be in some danger once he walks in that church. We don't know what we're going to see in there. Who's Evan? You know, the guy who's just talking.
00:49:15
Speaker
You mean namesly? Is that his name? I've been calling him that. Why wouldn't he tell me his name's Aimsley this whole time? I've been calling him. Oh, well, anyway, hey, I'm going to go back to his house and try to infiltrate that basement. Do you guys want to go record church while I do it? I don't really want to see the basement as well. All right. Well, I guess we can go do that. We got to do it. You guys want to go to the basement together?
00:49:41
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, they'll be busy in the church for a little while with all the people riding. As long as there's no weird things going on down there, don't you know what goes on in basements? They have like things down there that's still your socks and then they make it to where you don't find them forever. Or then they find you find them in your pad leg and it's so annoying. Yeah, I have heard all of those things as well.
00:50:11
Speaker
Yeah, I don't really have a basement, so I don't have the problem. You also don't have socks. I thought they were called basement goblins. I don't know. Are you going to protect me as long as we go? Right, Boom? I'll protect you from the basement goblins. I mean, I'll protect you. Not you protect, Boom. I didn't ask you!
00:50:34
Speaker
Boo. Boo. Bats, bats, bats, eyelashes. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Yep. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Come on. We'll go together. I'll make sure that nothing bad happens to you. OK. I'll go. All right. Well, I'll just grab them real quick and I'm going to teleport to the back door. Boink. You're there.
00:51:01
Speaker
We're there. Okay, Luke. All right, team. All right, boom seven. Let's roll out. Let's go find this basement. Jessica, you watch, you watch, you watch, uh, Protex back. No, I'm talking to Jessica. It's more about a table. The newest character on the team. Yeah. Dwayne Dwayne. You watch the sides to Betsy. You watch the front. I'll take the middle.
00:51:32
Speaker
OK, don't fuck it up. Yeah. All right, let's move. Let's let's move in. Let's find let's find this damn basement. There's probably some creepy stuff going on. I would just say there's probably like a door underneath the steps to go upstairs. It's sort of like a heavy kind of frame to it almost like sort of like a there's like heavy iron like hinge type of things on the edges of it and shit. And it's got a big old like lock knob hole in there. Knob under the rub. All right. This is the moment you both have been waiting for. Bust it down.
00:52:02
Speaker
Yeah. He quickly kicks it in before, before Protex can, because she just wants to one up him just one time. It's metal. Be careful. Robo body. Okay. It's a very metal door. You gotta be careful. It's got enforcements, reinforcements even. It's been enforced again. It's been enforced another time. Six.
00:52:27
Speaker
You kick that door and it buckles a little bit and creaks under the hinges and shit, but it doesn't quite give.
00:52:34
Speaker
Ah, she shoulder checks it. Come on, Tula, put that big ass into it. Come on. Roll body again. Your hips kind of hurts from kicking the heavy door. 11. Okay, before you can do anything to protect, she gets mad as she shoulders it again and it caves. And she stumbles into the little landing up to some stone steps that go down into the darkness.
00:52:57
Speaker
Like skating in and like her toes just reach the top step and she's all like And then John technical comes out grabs her and you hear how
00:53:10
Speaker
It doesn't happen. But yes, you guys look, we'll see down into the darkness of the basement. What's down there? Uh oh, we'll have to wait until next time to see what happens with the mob attacking the church.
00:53:27
Speaker
And these guys investigating the basement of the guy's house. Yeah. Get ready. This shit's about to get heavy. Yeah, buddy. Heavy. Like Pertex's wallet when he makes his tavern. You. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. Don't forget to check out the description to do little clickies on little
00:53:52
Speaker
Websites that we like a little tree just click on the link tree and you can get all the sites there. That's the thing now and I Yep, it's in there. I put it in there already. It's down there I know what it is exactly has all the links in it just go to the link tree has every place you could possibly need to visit us on
00:54:07
Speaker
Mind our shit, man. And that's it. So see you next time. Thanks for listening. Before we go, I just think that it'd be really funny if after Tulip crashes through the door, I yell, we forgot our keys. Father, you forgot your keys again. Fuck it. Fuck Italy.
00:55:10
Speaker
Oh, does it look good already?