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RJ Aguiar Exposed (Part 1)
2k Plays3 months ago
Two Bi Guys (By One Bi Guy) is back! And with a familiar friend, RJ Aguiar! We discussed his new "professional penis" and all that comes with it...
In honor of Bi+ Visibility Month, I'm trying something new -- weekly episodes! (We'll see how it goes...) The second half of my chat with RJ will drop next week -- or for access to both parts right now, plus 10 minutes of bonus content, subscribe on Patreon!
Follow RJ on IG: https://www.instagram.com/Damnitrj/
Follow RJ on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@damnitrj
RJ’s website: www.rjaguiar.com
RJ’s “Don’t Tell My Mother” storytelling performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlCanxAnCrw
The Emperor and the Endless Palace (book): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/146145975-the-emperor-and-the-endless-palace
Visit my website! https://www.robertbrookscohen.com/
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Transcript
Introduction & New Season
00:00:00
Speaker
i'm so surprised that like you're still doing this kind of like you're like a single mom like you're just you're doing this whole thing on your own and that's just i know how do you not have people oh where do you get people from what people
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello everybody, welcome back to Two Bye Guys Season 8, or back with a new season, and happy Bisexual Visibility Month! It is September, Bisexual Visibility Month, perfect time for the podcast to come back. I'm excited to be back, it's been a lovely summer, and I'm trying some new things this season.
Weekly Episodes for Bisexual Visibility Month
00:00:47
Speaker
So, in honor of Bisexual Visibility Month,
00:00:50
Speaker
I'm gonna try releasing this first batch of episodes once every week. We'll see how that goes. Don't get too used to it. But I'm kind of wanting to put out more content faster. So let's see if I can keep up with that and
Comedy & Social Media Promotion
00:01:04
Speaker
how it goes. I'm also doing some stand-up comedy now. It's very bi-focused. I talk about being poly and stuff like that.
00:01:10
Speaker
You can check it out on the Too By Guys Instagram if you haven't already or on my website, robertbrookescone.com. And because I'm kind of getting into that comedy scene, you know I still do want to interview influential by activists and authors and researchers and dive into these issues that I'm so interested
Content & Guest Plans
00:01:29
Speaker
in. But I also want to have more casual conversations more conversations with comedians and content creators and porn stars about sexuality, gender, and all this stuff. And I also want to have more conversations with repeat guests who I love chatting with, like today's episode with RJ Aguirre, who is back, and we have lots more to talk about. This is going to be a fun episode.
00:01:53
Speaker
And of course, just like last time he was here in Season 5, we went on too long, so I am splitting it into two shorter episodes. Or if you are listening on Patreon, you get both parts all at once right now, the whole thing, plus 10 minutes of bonus content that isn't available anywhere else. If you're not already subscribed on Patreon, you can head over to patreon dot.com slash Robert Brooks Cohen. Link is also in the show notes.
00:02:18
Speaker
You get full video episodes from the last two seasons and all seasons moving forward, plus bonus content for almost every episode and some behind-the-scenes stuff.
Technical Apology & Coaching Services
00:02:28
Speaker
I do have to apologize though. Something went wrong with my audio on my end of this episode with RJ. I was not at home. I was on vacation. I don't know what happened. There was some setting wrong the game.
00:02:41
Speaker
I'm very embarrassed. There was nothing I could do in post to fix it, unfortunately. But we had a fun chat, so I think it's worth bringing to you as opposed to re-recording, even though the audio is not perfect. You can still hear everything I'm saying, and RJ's side is totally fine. so I apologize, but it's fixed in the future. Hopefully this won't happen again. Also, just a quick note, I'm finishing up with a handful of coaching clients that I was working with over the summer, so I have new spots available again if anyone is interested. As I've said on the podcast, I can coach anyone who wants to move forward on anything they're struggling with. I got trained at IPAC for eight months in this coaching program,
00:03:22
Speaker
But I specialize in helping bi people and fluid and queer people navigate challenges surrounding their identity and relationships. And most of my clients so far have been bi men navigating their marriages with women and some of them navigating opening up their marriages, not all of them, but some of them.
Book Discussion & RJ Aguirre's Return
00:03:41
Speaker
which makes sense given my book about bisexual men who are married to women, which is available from Rutledge and on my website. So if you want to learn more about my coaching practice, you can go back to some recent episodes, the episode featuring Renee and the episode featuring R.K. Russell. I talked about my coaching practice in there, so I won't pitch it all again, but it's all in there. Or there's lots of info on my website, and you can also book a free intro call with me on my website, robertbrookscohen.com.
00:04:09
Speaker
So, happy Buy Visibility Month, and now, without further ado, here is part one of my interview with RJ Aguirre. Enjoy.
00:04:25
Speaker
Welcome, everybody. Welcome to Two Bye, guys. It's a new season. I don't know if this is the first episode or not. You'll find out as you listen to this. You'll already know. I don't know, but you know. It's Two Bye, guys. It's season eight.
00:04:39
Speaker
Hi, and we're here with Odeagua. Welcome back to Two Bye Guys. I'm one of an inch back. We were here season yeah five, I think, which was like three, two years ago. I don't remember what it was. Two full day jobs ago.
00:04:58
Speaker
Yes, for me it was zero full day jobs ago. yeah oh god ah triggering needs a Who needs a day job anyway? I like the night jobs are better. Yes, night jobs are are much more fun. And I'll ask you about that in a moment, but welcome back.
RJ's Background & Podcast Role
00:05:20
Speaker
It's lovely to have you here.
00:05:21
Speaker
For those of you who do not listen to season five and have no clue who RJ is, where have you been? But also, he is a writer, creator, performer, model, an advocate for the queer community, best known for his work across social media. He's appeared on BuzzFeed, Blossom, What's Trending. His work has been featured on the Huffington Post, Upworthy, Daily Dot, The Advocate.
00:05:45
Speaker
many more are places. He has worked with the Trevor Project, the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, the LA Buy Plus Task Force, Planned Parenthood, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the Obama White House, some of which we talked about last time. She gets around. She gets around, and now she's coming back around to two-by, guys. So welcome, welcome back. I can't stay away. I just can't quit you. I just can't do it.
00:06:12
Speaker
and you're campaigning to become the second buy guy, even though I just changed the name of this podcast to two buy guys, buy one buy guy, I'm gonna have to change it back if you become the second buy guy. But maybe we're- You don't have to, you don't have to. like I'm just here to support, you know like I get that this is your child. like i'm not I'm not looking to be the step dad, I'm a dad who wants to step up, okay?
00:06:36
Speaker
<unk> i'm cool i like ah i'm looking I'm looking to co-parent here. This is definitely like your biological child, but i will I will help foster it as though it was my own. It does still kind of feel because it's very born. It's born out of the same ethos that got me doing you know online stuff to begin with, which is just you know creating the spaces that we needed and want.
00:06:57
Speaker
Indeed, you were you were one of the early early by influencers doing stuff, mostly on YouTube and wild or maybe not mostly but that's I had seen your stuff for a while before we even started this podcast when there was not much like it back then. So yeah, it is part of the same. Yeah. The I would like to start a family with That's how a nice Polly family should be, where like you know you can just come in as a stepfather and help me raise the baby. That works for me. It's true. It's so true. it's so true i mean i'm not i'm not good with like With biological kids, like I'm hit or miss. But when it comes to like pet projects and stuff, oh, yeah, no, I'm ah i'm ah i'm an excellent co-parent.
00:07:41
Speaker
Okay. All right. Cool. Well, we'll try it out. And you know, I, it's too, I, we don't have to change the name again. We can always add onto it. It's like all these new things in our lives. They don't have to take away. They can add. So it's no two by guys, by one by guy with a by stepfather. That's the, that'll be the new title. Yes. And, you know, for all of all the creative types listening to this, which I imagine are quite a few. And then, and then all Uh, cool. So, you know, there, there's, there's questions, I guess I was, I was told there'd be questions.
Unscripted Conversations & Adult Content Journey
00:08:17
Speaker
I don't know. We can literally just keep shooting the shit. Like what kind of question? What do you, how do you mean? are there Is this supposed to be a Q and A? No. Okay. So first question. What's new since two years ago? I don't know. Tell me what's going on. I know a little.
00:08:32
Speaker
I don't know. Well, I have finally taken the plunge into adult content creation. And so that's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um We love it. Which is I mean, well, it's funny because it's something that people have definitely been asking for for a while, but it's definitely not. It's definitely something that I was not really ready for until very, very recently. um You know, not not even something Yeah, not even something that I was opposed to. like like i you know i've I've had friends who were in this space for for so many years, even back in the YouTube days. um But it just was something that I didn't um feel like I had the stomach for. And even and even now, like the way I'm trying to go about it is definitely different than it's traditionally been done. um ah
00:09:19
Speaker
ju but yeah like it it's you know it was after after getting law laid off from yet another tech company that was you know basically just not not taking my advice. not you know you I've been in this space for you know over 15 years at this point, but you you know when the tech bros still dismiss you because of you know
00:09:42
Speaker
Well, alleg we won't we won't get for legal reasons, we won't speculate as to the reasons, but you know after after just having to sort of grind it up in corporate in corporate America and just going nowhere, it was just like, all right, well, this is something that I know people want. This is something that I've flirted with the idea of, but even then, it's it's something that you gotta to be you have to be in the right head space for it because it is one of those things that will chew you up and spit you out if you're not ready.
00:10:11
Speaker
Interesting. Okay. I have so many questions on that. Let's dive into it. Uh, cause I, cause like, I, part of me is like always thinking about that too. And I'm like, secretly jealous of you, but I also have my hesitations. So like, okay, first, before we get into how you're doing it, which I want to hear, what, what was holding you back from doing it? And then what changed that got you ready? Like what made you ready for it?
00:10:36
Speaker
uh what was okay what was holding me back was trauma and spite um just because oh yeah so yeah i'm not laughing at trauma i'm laughing at spite what no i mean this is is i get it this is No, this is how I take the sting out of trauma now. is you know I make a joke of it. that's that's the whole but but It helps take the gravity out of it and and the and the piss out of it, as the birds say. um No, but it was like you know i had I had marketed my personal life for public consumption before um you know as ah and and I kept my clothes on.
00:11:14
Speaker
and even then like the it it It completely set fire to my mental health, to my you know physical health. like it was just it yeah like like like It completely just left me as a husk of a person to try to pick up the pieces.
00:11:34
Speaker
um and then like especially after you know the the the previous sort of YouTube stuff sort of blew up. all of All of the trolls, all of the the you you know sort of naysayers were like, oh, he's going to do OnlyFans. Because that's just, you know it was it was said so dismissively, but also, like let's face it, they wanted it. And so it was like and and they were already like catfishing and breaking in and like stealing my nudes and disseminating them without my permission. And you know that's that's the other thing, is like this whole journey towards
00:12:08
Speaker
sharing adult stuff. like It happened because i was do it was happening non-consensually first. um and yeah and so The last thing I wanted to do was you know kowtow to that and and cave into that or like give these people what they wanted and prove them right.
00:12:29
Speaker
you know and and it was so i i So I just, you know, was stubbornly like, no, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm never going to do it. I'm never going to do it. I'm never going to do it. I've learned. I've learned to stop saying never because my life has this knack of making me do things that I said I would never do. um But it was also like a I came to the epiphany that like, OK, this is something that I'm fascinated by in terms of wanting to explore it. I love what.
00:12:58
Speaker
the platforms like OnlyFans, Just for Fans, the two that I'm on and and you know all these others. um i It's one of the few times where you've had ah a digital platform disrupt a space and give more power to creators actually.
00:13:12
Speaker
yeah um And so that and then I also came to the realization that the only reason that I was holding back was for other people. Like it was other people reasons that I wasn't doing it. It was like, oh, what are my families? What is my family going to think? What is so-and-s so and so going to think? What are whatever? And it's, you know, luckily Gen Z doesn't give a fuck. yeah too So, you know, we've got Olympian. We got Olympians on OnlyFans now. So I think it's it's an opportunity not just to, you know,
00:13:41
Speaker
monetize ah of a hobby that I'm quite good at, but it's also a way to... but It's also a way to just ah you know do something like try to do it differently because I actually think that like in the future we are going to need more forms of legal sex work for a variety of reasons. um so yeah and and and this is ah And this is also a chance for me to really walk the walk in terms of be i know I've always said, oh, I'm pro sex work. i'm you know just yeah you know And so now this is where I get to put my literal money maker where my mouth is.
Filming Techniques & Viewer Engagement
00:14:18
Speaker
um Especially because I'm like i'm so tatted. There's no way I can do this anonymously. like I have to do this with my real name. And and like i I just got to lean in. um And yeah we'll see. We'll see where it goes.
00:14:32
Speaker
Cool. Cool. Yeah. I like all. It's all very interesting and we love sharing nudes consensually. We don't, we don't love it non-consensually. That's not cool. No, we don't. But that's sexual so very empowering. Yes, it is terrible. I'm sorry that happened. And, uh, proud of you to take it into your hands and do it thank you in an empowering way and on your own terms and to profit from it. Uh, I'm ready. I'm ready. to take you I'm ready to take their money. I'm ready to take these guys' money now. Good, good. I mean, I'm giving it away on sniffies and Grindr all the time to whoever's nearby, but just that's, they have to be near me to get it. And I'm like, you know. It's so funny too how much like, no, look, like since I started doing it, it's, it's, I'm, I'm like, I, I, I, I've become so much more exclusive and so much more just like, oh, you,
00:15:26
Speaker
okay you know I'm not just gonna give this away to just anybody now like owner and no people are paying top dollar for this stuff now so it actually it it it has it has become a pretty empowering thing of just sort of like oh no no no this is perfect this is a professional penis now so we can't just have already you're already professional penis two months in three months If I'm making money, which by definition means it's a professional, thank you very much. Take it up with Merriam-Webster if you do not, if you have an issue.
00:15:58
Speaker
I love it. i love it yeah and so okay so I have so many questions. so You mentioned like you want to do it in a little differently, which ah does make like it is really cool. It's giving power to individual creators, and you get to see more some more niche stuff and creative stuff and personal. like Everyone's only fans that I follow is like different.
00:16:20
Speaker
and yeah It's not this like standard cookie cutter of the of the studios and it's kind of fun. So what's what's the way you're doing it now and why? um Well, I'm lucky enough also to have a partner like romantic and also like content partner who um also has a filmmaking background. And so what's really great is I mean, I don't know about you guys, but like I am like there's so many accounts that look the same sound that like like like
00:16:51
Speaker
they're all doing what I call like the paranormal activity angle where they just have a camera in the corner, one or two cameras in the corner, maybe they cut between it. And you know you're basically just a kind of disembodied set of eyes just sort of watching from above, not really engaging with what's happening. you know um And so we You know because we have and there's you know other collaborators i'm working with charlie who's a camera guy that we work with almost um all the time with almost every video that we also do another like you know filmmaker um you know in his own right.
00:17:27
Speaker
and we're We're all done to death with all, you know, these just just surveillance angles or just like it just takes it just takes me out of it. And so we want to shoot stuff in a way where it is more oriented in capturing not just the acts themselves, but the connection between performers and the chemistry between performers. Cool.
00:17:48
Speaker
Because connection is kind of what really revs that engine, especially when I'm in the moment. Um, and then also, you know, when we've got some decent equipment, you know, we can really also capture a lot of details, a lot of interesting details of what's going on. Uh, sex is one of two times that you're using all of your senses. You're, you know, it's when you're eating, when you're having sex, are the only times you're really using all your senses. And so we.
00:18:13
Speaker
when we have a nice, you know, 50 mil lens or a nice zoom lens, you can really focus on like, Oh, the texture of the skin, or we can get up close and get like the sound of the breathing, the sound, you know, and just really try to make it as immersive as possible. um So that you're as ah as an observer, you're kind of more you're You're more drawn in because you're you're you're still being a voyeur, but you're more part of it because you're kind of coming along on the journey sort of with us, rather than just kind of like being this weird, awkward demon in the corner that's like, okay.
00:18:49
Speaker
But what if weird, awkward demons turn you on? Then you might like those. I mean, to each their own.
Exploring Niche Content on OnlyFans
00:18:55
Speaker
This is something I've learned from social media, too. It's like you can't really. Yeah, OK. Some people are going to be into my shtick. Some people aren't. Some people like just one angle in a corner watching someone take 30 dicks in a row and more power to you. But I think what's.
00:19:11
Speaker
what What's so funny is that the more that you let creators and audiences just engage organically, the more that you find that it's not about one thing that fits everybody. It's really just about finding, you know, um Niche communities that are into their sort of specific things like I yeah cannot stand gooning cannot stand like it is repulsive There's a whole but there's a whole community who's like into that sort of stuff. It's like okay, you know it rather than falling prey to what all of the apps are trying to do which is homogenize all of us like this
00:19:48
Speaker
gets us, lets us just, you know, connect with the people who are who feel the way that we do, and who want to see a little bit more, you know, connection, chemistry, and maybe even storytelling.
00:19:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I do love that people just can do what what they like, what turns them on, because that's kind of hard to see. Like, I follow an OnlyFans that's just like a guy who comes a lot and he just like jerks off on other guy. He gets his dick sucked and jerks off on other guy's face. It's one camera angle. Every video is one shot. It's low, like the least production value ever. And it's awesome if you're into that. Yeah. some yeah right This is what you always see in the world.
00:20:27
Speaker
Okay, but, and I did subscribe to your OnlyFans for research.
Camera Role & Viewer Fantasy Engagement
00:20:36
Speaker
I would have said you would try a link. Hold on, why? I mean, thank you, but yeah. You know, I wanted to support you and it's research based.
00:20:46
Speaker
You can expense it. It's a business expense. Yes, yes. I always expense all my OnlyFans. I'm in the industry. ah It's very hot. and And I see what you mean about the close-ups and the camera being, the camera person sort of almost being part of it, a third character in a way rather than that static shot. It creates some cool dynamic stuff. And it's, I don't know, close-up is always so much more interesting than,
00:21:15
Speaker
then oh yeah and but you need a camera person it's how do you it's how you experience yeah it is how you experience sex you know when you're in it to like it that's that is yeah that's making it more immersive and much any giving you more of that those cues to kind of like.
00:21:31
Speaker
involve your brain a bit more, because that is something that like I've noticed just you know being in the in the age of internet porn, like wherere we are becoming more desensitized because where you know we have all of this stuff just kind of bombarding us and there needs you know there's this kind of constant escalation almost to try to like stand out from the pack. But yeah what what i've what I've found really, really gets me no matter what the performer or the camera, whatever, is people who can like get me to participate mentally in the fantasy or even insert myself in some way, shape or form. So that was what the thinking of it too is just to try to make it more akin to like what it would be like if you were there and participating even just as an observer, um including and especially because sometimes like I like to so to just be an observer while I watch my boyfriend get railed by
00:22:27
Speaker
You know ah recently like ah because this will it be a couple weeks before this comes out, right? Yeah, maybe ah yeah um so there's I Was you know, I was just filming a collab for my boyfriend with ah with a pretty prominent ah You know top creator and just and yeah just being being able to be the eyes was just such a ah fun gratifying and and titillating ah Stimulating experience too because it is just sort of like oh, yeah I know I want I want you guys to see him the way I see him. Oh, interesting. If you ever need a camera person on the last minute, let me know. I'm pretty good with the camera
00:23:20
Speaker
I have so many more questions, but can you go go can briefly explain to people what gooning is?
Gooning & Content Sharing Dynamics
00:23:27
Speaker
Cause I've like seen it. I'm not even sure I could describe why it is the thing. And not to yuck anyone's yum, but I'm also with you where I've seen it i' and I'm like, what, what is that? Like, why is that?
00:23:41
Speaker
So it's funny because the idea of gooning is actually something that I'm very, very into where it's like you're getting someone to this place where they have just lost their experiencing and over they're overwhelmed with so much pleasure that they are just lost control of what their body's doing, what their face is doing, and they're just eyes rolled back in the head, tongue hanging out.
00:24:02
Speaker
Um, I had a, my, my collab with Taylor sin was very much like that because I could, it was, it was just, we, our, our, our chemistry and our bodies were very much connected. I found his spots. I knew how to just like play him like an instrument. And so he's just like, you know, in, in many ways kind of gooned out right when I know like I'm hitting this spot, boom, boom, boom, boom. Um, but then there's, there's creators who are.
00:24:24
Speaker
um focus specifically on doing it in this one kind of solo edging context and and let's face it they really are you can tell they're playing it up you can tell they're going like this is this isn't i i would do the faces but we're in an audio mediums but but yeah it's very like a mother you know you can do the face you know i um you know like they're just you know tongue hanging out eyes crossed and and and it's it just reeks of of falsehood you know so i'm just i'm just like and and it's it's like are you are you trying to be ah are you clowning me right now like i don't it's just when it's done in that specific
00:25:05
Speaker
sort of conduct This is also like, the way porn fetishizes certain specific things, and it would, in ah you know, it fixates on like a um just fetishizing the thing itself, and then just pushing it to the nth degree. So it's like, pruning is one of those things where, yeah, when I encounter it out in the wild, it's actually hot, but when you fixate and just try to make it a ah porn niche, it becomes kind of off-putting and almost, and lightly horrifying.
00:25:33
Speaker
That makes sense to me. it is little I've seen what you're talking about. It is slightly horrifying. and And if anyone wants to see RJ act that out, come to Patreon. We have video. You can also see my fucktorps t-shirt, yeah.
00:25:49
Speaker
Oh yeah, fuck TERFs. Oh, I couldn't see the TERFs part. I could just see the fuck, so. I just thought it was a shirt that said fuck, which in the trans colors, which is cool too. Which is also great. I've done i'm i'm you know done collabs with trans creators. It's fantastic. I highly recommend it. Yeah. Okay. So has doing OnlyFans, has it like changed your sex life, like your real life sex life, or?
00:26:17
Speaker
or I mean that's part of your sex life too now is what you should. Like how has it changed your your relationships or sex life or what kind of sex you're having or or do you do different things off camera that you're not doing on camera?
Balancing Personal Life & Content Creation
00:26:32
Speaker
Tell me, I mean, I'm still yeah, I'm still pretty new to the space. Like I only started in April and we're in August. So this is I mean, it's obviously having an effect. um Luckily, again, like I'm with a partner who was already making content, so already kind of had.
00:26:51
Speaker
A an idea of what we were in for when I when I finally decided to pull the trigger. um And we are and and it's funny because one of the first pieces of advice I got from a friend um Michael damage bottom is.
00:27:08
Speaker
also like you have to treat your off-camera sex life with as much importance as your on-camera one um which is something that I've tried my best to stay true to and it has it has definitely helped but yeah I mean there's there's definitely like Okay, babe, we can't you know i know I know I'm poking you with my morning boner boner right now, but you know I have a scene later today, so so you know we got we gotta to table this and and move it to for later. um and And thankfully, because we are doing our best to try to, to you know me and me and my partner, Josh, you know because we're making it a point to be so open and so communicative,
00:27:46
Speaker
um It has it's it's worked out better than I've seen it work out for other couples in the past too because that is there there are definitely pitfalls there um and thankfully. Because I've kind of been down a similar road before I know how to avoid some of those pitfalls.
00:28:04
Speaker
um you know, because we're we're not trying to repeat the same mistakes. We're trying to make new and more inventive mistakes. so Yes, good. I'm sure you will. I have no doubt. It seems to me like, like part of why I get excited about thinking about doing it is like, you get to have these experiences with other creators that are very hot. And like to me, the being filmed is hot too, even when I don't post something, i I think filming is hot. And there are certain people and certain things that just like are hard to organize on your own. yeah But when you enter this creator space, they're happening. And like, I i don't know that I personally could get involved with everyone I fantasize about, but like, there's more opportunity for certainly
00:28:52
Speaker
some of these creators are not just gonna have sex with random fans unless it's like a collab. ah So are there things you've gotten to do that have been like fantasies or that you wouldn't have gotten to do otherwise that you've enjoyed?
00:29:09
Speaker
um i ah There's, I would say again, because I'm i'm early days, um it's it's more like that's what, um that that is where the direction I'm kind of moving in. And that was actually also like another another person I talked about doing this at length with, well, like years even before I actually did it was my therapist. And you know it was actually my therapist who was like, oh no, you have an opportunity actually to not just,
00:29:37
Speaker
um you know, create a bunch of content, but to also start modeling behaviors and start like also showing people how to like have conversations about what they want sexually and what their fantasies are and stuff like that. And so that is that's more a direction I want to move in. um I will say like my my first scene that I have a shot with Haskell Holland, where we, you know, we had a whole dungeon like flogging session and all that that's something that I've explored in the past but but haven't really like had as much of an excuse to really um get with we have another another scene where I'm getting you know I'm gonna get like tied down and and you know rope bunny a play like that
00:30:19
Speaker
the more I do this, the more there's gonna be excuses and opportunities for that. Right now, it's I'm more just focused on getting a nice, like like really just trying to build the business behind the scenes because that is also like, I mean, part of doing any kind of content creation ah is there is a whole kind of scaffolding and infrastructure you have to build to support this
Business Infrastructure & Financial Strategies
00:30:42
Speaker
behind the scenes. And luckily I'm in a position right now where I can focus on that exclusively for the time being. A lot of people are doing this as like a side hustle. so you know there's but And that also sort of speaks to to doing it our way as well because we're you know ah me and my partner and and a lot of our collaborators, we're not just trying to do content differently in terms of the end product. We're also trying to rethink how we produce it um you know behind the scenes and and and try start modeling
00:31:13
Speaker
the business practices we want to see, not just in adult spaces, but really just in media spaces. Yeah. Cool. And how, so how like full time is it? I mean, it's, it's your main focus now. Is it like taking up all of your work time basically?
00:31:30
Speaker
Yeah, i mean it is a I mean, in terms of building a a a workflow and a business, like that does take devoted attention. And again, i'm lucky I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can focus on that solely right now. That's definitely not the goal. like i've also got the The experience has given me many a think piece to brew on. I want to get back into to to also performing live comedy. like it's um The whole point is is for this to to not only float me financially to the next sort of lily pad while the entire entertainment and media industry is in the shitter,
00:32:04
Speaker
but also yeah but also like, I mean, it'll be great to kind of hone my, you know, producing chops, directing chops, ah you know, editing and filmmaking chops.
00:32:17
Speaker
um you know Because this the smart part and the erotic part, like yes, it's a you know i I love exploring taboo spaces in general. And then also, you know how many other ways are you just going to get someone to pay $10 to $20 just to view a piece of of like ah independently produced content? you know like it's It's really just... Not easy. yeah Yeah. So thankfully, you know, when when there's smut involved, like there's there's less of the the answer of why is this worth my time has already kind of answered for you. But then that's also why we want the quality does really add a nice little like bonus layer of of, ah you know, of a luxurious experience on top.
00:33:01
Speaker
Cool. Cool. Everyone should check it out. It's it's called Sir RJ. RJ is my sir is the handle.
Platform Comparisons & Political Impacts
00:33:09
Speaker
um You can also just like find me on any social it'll be the link in my bio you'll see and like and and I'm on OnlyFans as well as Just for Fans, which we can I mean, the the there's there's a whole conversation even to be had about the various platforms themselves. What's the what's the cliff notes of that?
00:33:28
Speaker
ah Well, you've got like OnlyFans, which is, you know, the kind of main, the more mainstream kind of larger one, the one with the sort of larger fan base that everybody kind of, you know, it's it's the Kleenex and and like it's it's the it's the one brand name people associate with the thing. But like Just For Fans is a platform that is like sex worker owned.
00:33:47
Speaker
um you know, the ethos is a lot better on, um not just in terms of the ownership, but also like, ah you know, you can you can actually ah split revenue with other creators on that platform, which I really like, which also speaks to again, like the kind of the kind of of next up the kind of behavior we're trying to model behind the scenes as well, where it's like, Oh, no, no, no, we want, you know, you when when you work with us, we want to be able to kind of like, have this project be something that's valuable, valuable to you more than just in the immediate sense, like, we want this to be something that can maybe even generate passive income for you, you know, in perpetuity and stuff like that, like focusing on you know co-ownership and collaboration in that sense because you know we do you know let's face it sex work is largely you know the demographics of sex workers are you know disproportionately marginalized communities of all of all types and and kinds so what better space to really start
00:34:48
Speaker
experimenting with business practices that are a lot more inclusive and a lot more um supportive and a lot more community oriented. um yeah Because like all things like like so many things, you know queer people are going to figure out how to do it first and the straight people are going to copy us. so Yes, indeed. Can't wait for all the straight people to get on all the fans. Everyone should have another one.
00:35:13
Speaker
It's true. after no wall I also know like, I hope I want, I want to vote for like some, I want to vote for like a political candidate who hasn't only fans. I honest to God, I swear like I really, really do because I am so done to death with all of these political controversies that are sex oriented. And it's always, it's always like,
00:35:34
Speaker
the the the you know the can the the The scandals on the right are always like, oh, there's you know like this this you know you know exploit. This ah pastor you know was secretly a closet case or so and so was was you know ah had trans sex workers in their hotel room or whatever. And then on the left, you know there's it's all sex. like if you can if you can We can just give politicians room to have consensual sex lives and be adults about it. like How many of these so-called scandals could we just do away with? Right. If you're on OnlyFans, it's all kind of out there. What's the scandal? What could happen that would be scandalous? You're there already, you could focus on politics.
00:36:21
Speaker
There's no, yeah, there's no PP tape for Russia to to so to to threaten you with because you're the one selling it, you know? P-tape is out, right. You made a couple thousand dollars off that P-tape. And it goes viral, you make even more.
00:36:35
Speaker
Except you can't do that kind of content on OnlyFans, but you can do it on JustForFans. They're much more kink-friendly. Oh, interesting. A lot more kink-friendly. Which w kinks are not a lot on OnlyFans? Just certain ones? I mean, ah so let's see. like A lot of harder core kink stuff, so impact play. Even like Bondage on OnlyFans, they're like, oh, two appendages must be you know ah you know, ah free at all times, anything, any yeah, mean or meaning yeah ah yeahke you can't tie down like all four limbs on OnlyFans, I think. um What an auditory rule. Yeah. You can have some limbs tied, but not all of the limbs. that's Who is that OnlyFans coming up with those rules?
00:37:24
Speaker
They don't do hardcore fisting on Onlyfans. There's so much kink content that Onlyfans is so, it clutches their pearls about, which is, again, like, what? Onlyfans? Yeah. Yeah, right. I mean, you would think. OK. So you I have a question because about like yeah the scandals and the the stigma of
Industry Stigma & Empowerment
00:37:46
Speaker
it. like And you mentioned the the TV and film and entertainment industry is a shit show right now. and all the companies consolidated. They don't know what to make. like they As a Writers Guild member, there's fewer people working than a few, like like very much fewer people than two or three years ago. Everything is contracting. Hopefully it'll expand. But I but i get why people go to all the fans. But my concern
00:38:15
Speaker
personally and I've heard this from other people is like that doing adult content will prevent you from getting mainstream work in the future. I always struggle with like is that true or not or is that just what people say because there's stigma and to make you afraid and I'm sure like there are certain people who wouldn't hire you but how do you think about that?
00:38:38
Speaker
i It's not like Disney's calling me anyway. you know like it's not it's not like It's not like I'm getting these auditions anyways. so that that Like so many other of these prejudices that that are pervasive throughout Hollywood, like it is i'm I'm of the belief that is is it's the snake eating its own tail. i mean It was the same thing of like you can't be out ah and be an actor. You know you can't be queer and and be a leading man. it's not I have no problem with it. It's just middle America that is too small-minded and can't handle it. I fucking consume what you give them, first of all. yeah And like I'm sorry, like I feel like I would be so much more obsessed with a leading man if like if I could watch him, yeah even even minus the hardcore stuff, even if I could just like watch him spank it on ah you know on a live cam. like Shit, are you kidding? like No wonder he's Superman.
00:39:41
Speaker
that's been a thing for so long that celebrity nudes get leaked and sex tapes get leaked non-consensually and everyone is interested in them and it doesn't make that celebrity go away or get less movies it if anything increases their popularity and so like why wouldn't I want to watch that in a consensual way instead of the way it has been and support that person direct like I'm trying to imagine a world where that makes me less interested in someone. I guess I'm not a conservative person in a red state who thinks sex is bad. So I can't put myself in that headspace. But I don't know. I guess there's some people that think that way. But I yeah it's I mean, I don't see like Henry Cavill having it only fans. I don't see I mean,
00:40:27
Speaker
if he wants to oh my god like take all of my money right now um but you know i don't i don't necessarily think of it as something that you know lead you know the big big big stars would have um yeah but i do think it's something that could empower a lot of like up and coming performers to be able to make a living and yeah and It float themselves while they're in that kind of initial phase and also like if you do it right. It does have the capacity I think to help you stand out actually because it's like you know the the whole engineering of this is that like okay I'm starting with the only fans but then as I branch out I want to actually be able to talk about.
Skills Crossover & Creative Leadership
00:41:11
Speaker
stuff that I'm going through as a creator on stage you know with stand up or in think pieces where let's let let's make a moral case for sex work, for legalized sex work because of all these insights that I'm seeing on the ground. you know it yeah we're We're in the middle of ah of a huge, a hopefully I should say, or what feels like we're going through right now is a big paradigm shift. where we We played by the existing rules, right? We we sort of you know played along with this whole corporate consolidation, unchecked capitalism model. And you know now we're so we're we're sick to death of all the the repeats, the requals, the blockbuster model. like Everything is just so redundant and repetitive that
00:41:56
Speaker
you know people are hungry for something different, but all of the major you know studios are too busy you know laying people off to really do anything truly ambitious. And so it's going to have to be up to the smaller creators who can you know finance themselves by whatever means necessary to um yeah to to start creating stuff that's actually interesting and has a ah new and distinct point of view.
00:42:22
Speaker
Yeah. And that also seems to me like the way the mainstream entertainment business is going as well. Like it's not that the networks will disappear, but individuals are becoming more empowered and like you can just make your own shit and that can get picked up. And so there seems like crossover with people who are doing that with adult content and other kinds of content. Like it's the same skill set. It's the same kind of is production experience. It's the same creativity. It's just.
00:42:52
Speaker
you have no clothes on or you have clothes on like it's in all of the ah the human experience. And in all of these conversations I'm having with just people behind the scenes like I'm talking to so many people that are just like, yeah, I want to do that. I just don't think I can and it becomes this sort of like,
00:43:09
Speaker
stalemate that everybody's in where everybody's just kind of waiting for the first person to take that leap. um And so, you know, this just becomes one of those things where I'm like, okay, no one else is gonna go fuck it. Leroy Jenkins, I'm just gonna like charge in. And I don't know, maybe I fall flat on my face. Who knows? At least I at least I get to, you know, have a lot of fun while I'm doing it. Yeah.
00:43:35
Speaker
Well good for you. where I'm glad to see you spearheading this for the bi community and and for you and everyone and like very cool. I'm like I'm jealous of you and I'm going to be monitoring it closely for research, just for the research. That's why I watch it so closely.
00:43:58
Speaker
That's why I've watched porn my whole life is for research to get to where I am now. It's all a part of this podcast. No, let's talk about how so how so many of us just started watching porn because there's no queer inclusive
Educational Role of Porn & Indie Appeal
00:44:11
Speaker
sex ed. like um you know like how many yeah right like that's the ah that's so theres There's so many conversations I think to be had. The minute we can just be like, okay, we're all adults here. you know like like The minute we can we can stop clutching our pearls, there are actually so many conversations to be had because like so many other things like sex workers are a kind of bellwether or a kind of canary in the coal mine for so many systemic issues.
00:44:40
Speaker
um and so It is one of those, I mean, there's a reason Jesus liked hanging out with sex workers, you know, and and the other, you know, the other margin, you know, ah the other outcasts of society, because these are people who will be able to to sense, so you know, ah certain issues, certain systemic issues and, and and you know, ah injustices, like first,
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And ah so i want in a minute, we'll get to the stand up because you mentioned it. But I agree that like, for so many people, we don't have the good education. So like porn becomes the thing most people learn about sex and sexuality from. And so we I know you and I have talked about that in terms of bisexuality and queerness, but also in terms of kink too, like,
00:45:25
Speaker
That's how most people learn about Kink. And now that I've been involved in actual communities, you learn you are different things. And it wasn' and the point may be getting better, but it wasn't always the way I hope it is now. but But there's so much now you can learn about Kink from ah from these creators.
00:45:47
Speaker
Right, whereas originally, yeah, and well, it's, I always say like, you know, learning to have sex by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching the Fast and the Furious movies. Like it is... Amazing.
00:46:00
Speaker
Well, yeah all you know, it just it the real life version of it more often like 99 times out of 100 does not look anything look or feel anything like what you see in the movies. And so what has been really great about this indie content Renaissance is you are seeing a little you are getting a lot of of performers and a lot of and creators who are kind of just like not editing it, not producing it as much. yeah I say this as I'm talking about how I like to edit it and produce my shit so much. Very stylized. But even then it's like what we're trying to stylize is still something that's authentic. you know and and that yeah I mean, ironically, that's the the thing that people on any kind of social platform connect with genuinely the most is just a sense of authenticity and getting to know like the person. Right.
00:46:54
Speaker
I still do not want to live in a world where people have to, you know especially queer people, have to learn about their sexuality through porn. I do want there to be you know resources that are solely devoted towards like actually giving people a realistic picture and expectation of what it is. yeah But I do like that the fantasies are more closely resembling the reality. um yeah and and And I'd love getting to be a part of that.
00:47:24
Speaker
Yeah, makes sense. And have you heard of Make Love Not Porn, a website? it's It's like another one of these. And it's like really very low budget amateur, not much edited, but it's just like real people yeah posting videos of themselves having sex. And it's like, it's authentic and it's fun to watch because it's real it's so real and not produced.
00:47:46
Speaker
Not that your voice is good, too, if it's authentic. but Yeah. um I mean, even in the heyday of yeah even in the heydays of you know the studios and in the internet porn space, like, OK, yeah, I love the Sean Cody. you know I grew up you know loving Sean codo Cody videos as much as the next. But a lot of it was like the indie stuff, the amateur-produced stuff. like i've always There's always been something that has fascinated me with that space. Or even like, I don't know if the name Black Spark means anything to anybody on this on this podcast. But and talk about another like very, very niche, very indie creator who was just posting videos on like Tumblr back in the day when you know Tumblr could still have was still like the the the the most brilliant space to curate gay porn ever in its heyday. But BlackSpark was a creator who you know, pioneered a lot of the the style elements that we try to use, like the shallow depth of field, the use of music, the dynamic cuts, the desire to tell a story beyond just, hey, here's the the dick going in the hole. You know, there's there's always been an indie ethos that has been kind of bubbling under the surface that I that I think is is starting to really kind of become more more mainstream as more and more people admit that's what they want.
00:49:05
Speaker
Yeah, indeed. Cool. Okay, everyone post your sex tapes online and the world will be a better place for us. Honestly. For all of us.
Conclusion & Upcoming Teaser
00:49:21
Speaker
That's part one with RJ. Thanks for listening. Part two is coming up in one week. And then we've got a fun season planned. Lewis Oakley from Bisexual Brunch is here. Mark from Not Defining. My friends Vera and Leroy from Amsterdam. And much more after that, so stay tuned. So see you next week, and thanks for listening to two Bye Guys, Bye One, Bye Guys.
00:49:44
Speaker
Two Bye Guys is produced and edited by me, Robert Brooks Cohen, and it was created by me and Alex Boyd. Our logo art is by Caitlin Weinman. Our music is by Ross Mincer. We are supported by the Gotham, and we are part of the Zencaster Creator Network. Visit patreon dot.com slash Robert Brooks Cohen for bonus content, early access, and exclusive video episodes. Thanks for listening to Two Bye Guys.