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Election Special with RJ Aguiar
1.4k Plays2 months ago
To get fired up and ready to go for the upcoming Nov. 5 election (and because I was behind on editing the next episode…), today I sat down again with our bi stepfather, RJ Aguiar, to talk politics! We discussed the importance of voting, especially for queer people, and what we’re doing in the final two weeks to support the causes we care about (mostly: democracy!). Please make a plan to vote, and make sure your friends and family have a plan to vote. We cannot afford to sit this one out – the stakes are too high.
Donate to the Harris/Walz campaign: https://kamalaharris.com
Volunteer! https://go.kamalaharris.com
Donate via ActBlue: https://secure.actblue.com
Phone bank with White Men Against MAGA / Showing Up For Racial Justice: https://www.mobilize.us/surj/event/653094/
Donate to FairVote: https://fairvote.org
Learn About Represent Us (the pro-democracy and voting reform organization I couldn’t remember the name of): https://represent.us/
Visit RJ’s website: https://www.rjaguiar.com/
Follow RJ on IG: https://www.instagram.com/damnitrj/?hl=en
Visit my website: www.RobertBrooksCohen.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Election Context
00:00:12
Speaker
So hello everyone, welcome to Two Bye Guys. Why are they with Two Bye Guys? With Two Bye Guys. You're not here yet, I haven't introduced you. Oh sorry.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm, this is me, I'm Rob, by myself, one by guy. And we're bringing you something a little bit different today, mostly because I'm lazy, and mostly because I didn't yet edit the interview that is supposed to air today. But also, there's another reason, which is that there is an election coming up, it is on my mind constantly.
00:00:48
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if you heard, but today is October something. You're listening to this on October 21st, and there is an election on November 5th. I'll tell you all about it and explain what it is, RJ.
00:01:02
Speaker
fun Please do. I've never heard of this. It's on my mind so much, and it's really important, and it's especially important for the queer community, but also everyone. And so I wanted to bring ah the bi-stepfather of this podcast on to come and chat a little and discuss the upcoming election. So welcome back to two-by, guys.
Political Reflections and Anxieties
00:01:25
Speaker
RJ, we are. Hi. Hi. Remember, remember the 5th of November.
00:01:29
Speaker
Yes, indeed. I do think it's, it's kind of awesome that like the UK ousted their conservative party on July 4th. So I love the idea that we can kind of tag the UK back being like, yup, let's, uh, let's, let's hand the Republicans their ass. Let's get the natural blue wave again.
00:01:47
Speaker
It is really cool what happened over there and what happened in ah other countries too, where like there's been this defeat of fascism and Trumpism. So many isms. All the isms are being defeated, but now it's our turn. and it's very I have to say with two weeks left, it's extremely nerve wracking because yeah could we could follow in their footsteps and that would be lovely. Or we could screw the pooch like we did in 2016.
00:02:17
Speaker
Yeah. And like right now, I don't know. And can I be honest? Like, go it. it This moment feels a little like it felt in 2016. Like, yeah, scaring me. It almost feels like how can Trump win? It's insane that he could wins. He can't win. And and so I'm saying we believe him. And that's how and and that was the mindset I had at that time. And then he won.
00:02:44
Speaker
You're talking to a guy who has his Hillary for America, you know, love Trump's, hey, t-shirt on, mostly because i i yeah like we do need to remind people like what happens when we get too complacent, when we do treat it as like, you know, too much of a foregone conclusion.
Active Engagement in Politics
00:03:00
Speaker
To be fair, the polls in those days had Hillary winning pretty easily.
00:03:07
Speaker
So yeah were I would say that this this is a different situation because we do actually know how nail-bitingly close that we are. um But that but as as much as it should infuriate everybody listening to this podcast, how close we are despite the absolute buffoonery coming out of the of the right. like This is where I get to regurgitate a lot of what my therapist has said to me about like, listen, like there's productive anxiety and then there's not productive anxiety. The productive anxiety is what motivates you
00:03:40
Speaker
to do something. yeah that is like Democracy is not meant to be a spectator sport. um you know They've literally done studies about how political hobbyism is actively harmful because it feels like you're doing something but you're not actually doing anything.
00:03:57
Speaker
So this is also why like, I kind of have had to start gatekeeping my political conversations with people because we all recognize what a dumpster fire we find ourselves in, right? Like, the the question now is like, okay, well, what are you doing about it? Like, yeah where's are you?
00:04:17
Speaker
you know I've got my monthly Act Blue donation set up already. like you know Are you donating? Are you canvassing? Are you door knocking? Are you digital ah canvassing? like this we can't We can't afford to sit on the sidelines. It's one of the reasons I get so mad when people ask me why I'm so into politics. I'm like, I'm not. like you You do policy or policy does you.
00:04:42
Speaker
And right we're all affected by these politics, whether we're participating or not. And then then it comes up back to you. So your vote is your voice, as they say. on it's It's the beginning. It's the beginning. It's the beginning. It is the final exam of democracy, right? Like you have a whole class, there's a whole semester of assignments and stuff that that idea so so Yeah, listening to people who complain about how, oh, I vote, but nothing changes. I'm like, yeah, that's like only sitting for final exams and expecting to get straight A's. Like, you got yeah yeah you got to put in the work the rest of the class,
Influencing Social Circles and Setting Boundaries
00:05:21
Speaker
you know? Yes. Well, and we'll talk in a minute about what what happens after the election. I know you have thoughts about that. But but I do i like the last, I mean, I always watch a lot of
00:05:32
Speaker
cable news. I'm just like slightly addicted to it. And I you're a masochist. Yeah, yes, pretty much. I'm like a sub. I'm a sub top. And I love just like ah being hit with the information. ah But it does. I do run the risk. I feel sometimes watching it of thinking I'm doing something by listening to all that. And like in some sense, it's informing me, depending on what you're listening to. And so i I want to be informed, but I also want to make sure that that's not what I'm doing in advance of this election is just watching TV. And so I part of why we're doing this is I want to share what we're doing and what people could be doing because we have two weeks left. And like I really just have been wanting to do as much as I can. I mean, I'm I'm sure I'm sure I won't. But
00:06:23
Speaker
But I did. What do you mean? Wait. Well, you could always I could always devote my entire life to making phone calls. And like I definitely haven't, you know, I'm not I'm not on the phone constantly. Like I've signed up for phone banks. So I've been doing some phone banks what here and there. And I did postcards. I did the 200 postcards to swing states. or i Those are fun. Those are actually kind of fun i was fun to do. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's too late to do them now if you haven't done it already. But but maybe you've done that. I had some people over, we wrote 100 postcards. I then had another stack of ah another 100 that I couldn't get people to come over. So I did them myself. Oh, wow. male That was that felt like a lot of effort. I sat and
00:07:08
Speaker
While watching MSNBC, I wrote a bunch of postcards to Arizona. There you go. There you go. That's how you earn. and That's how you earn your junk food. That's how you earn your treat. you know It's it's it's it's kind like with fitness, too. OK, yeah. i I do the extra 20 minutes on on the treadmill so that I can indulge in the treat later on. Yes, and exactly. Both end. It's very bisexual. Do the thing that makes me worried and then the thing that actually helps people. But you could do both.
00:07:39
Speaker
It's true. Well, the being involved though, I wonder if this is your experience too, but I found that when I can point to actionable things, so like postcards, like um ah like donations, like yeah and one of the other things that you can do is to just like talk to the people in your life. cause like i mean that that In terms of the most effective messaging that actually influences people, it's not advertisements, it's not social media, it's people's actual social circles. So that's the other thing. is like you can Even if you're not formally digital canvassing or you know texting strangers or calling strangers, like if anything, you actually potentially have more pull
00:08:24
Speaker
in your own social circles if you can. you know convince someone in your orbit that to vote who wasn't maybe planning on voting, guess what? You just doubled yours. so like Exactly. and And the best part is when you can point to actual actionable stuff that you're doing, I wonder if if this resonates with you, that gives you permission to be able to check out and recharge without being like, ugh, right?
00:08:54
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I do definitely like, okay, I've put in this effort. like I can feel good about that and and take care of myself as well and not just worry and overthink. ah But yeah, i mean reaching out to other people in your circle who yeah might not be as gung-ho for democracy as we are is very important. i really My mom's cousin is like the closest Trump voter to me in my circle. And I had a conversation. eny you yeah and you I've got so many Trumpers. I don't have many. ah You do. Do you talk to them?
00:09:32
Speaker
i Well, in terms of and terms of the people in my like gene pool, no, not anymore. and that's and And that is, I mean, you do have to be able to recognize when you're being, when when you are engaged in productive conversation and when you're not. Yeah, you know yeah right. but This guy, my mom's cousin, I talked to him in 2020 and we had like a 45 minute call. I tried to sort of convince him. and There was, I realized there was nothing I could do and I just kind of said, okay, like we shouldn't talk about this anymore and i whatever. I hope you vote. not them but He voted for Trump in 2020 and so I reached out to him the other day and asked if he would want to talk about it. But I said, if you've made your decision to vote for Trump, then then there's no point in us talking. Because I've made my yeah decision. and And I don't want to just make myself angry or have an argument with him if he's made his decision. But, but if there's anyone who maybe isn't, you know, who isn't motivated to vote, right undecided, it's mostly the not motivated to vote. I feel like that's yes. nias thing the most Yeah.
00:10:42
Speaker
get everyone out there who's on the fence. Because at this point, I don't know how much you can say to convince someone, like, how do you not know at this point? but that is that That is mostly, yeah, you're right. You're right in the sense of like, when it comes to the the convincing part, like, are you going to be able to convince a Trump voter in your orbit?
00:10:59
Speaker
probably not. But can you and and here's the other thing, like we've got this kind of lack of enthusiasm coming at
Strategic Voting and Ideological Challenges
00:11:06
Speaker
us from both sides. Like we have the centrists, you know, over on one side who are like kind of, i don' and then you have a lot of people who are far left who are trying to be like, oh, the democrats are are supporting genocide. So they're no better than the republicans. And it's like, I'm sorry.
00:11:22
Speaker
No, yeah I get it. I'm not. ah I'm not the the big don't let the t shirt fool you like I'm not the biggest fan of the Democratic Party either. This is the enemy of my enemy is my friend. But if we want to get ourselves out of this stalemate, we have to get our asses in gear because part of why we have to be so permissive with the one party who doesn't want to take our rights away is because we're still stuck in the stalemate with this, with, with you know, the architects of project 2025. So yeah, of course, when that's the the other alternative, yeah, compromise is going to be absolutely fucking infuriating. But at the same time, like ideological purity doesn't win elections. So, oh you know,
00:12:07
Speaker
I think it's really important you brought that up because that is something I've experienced in my circles. like yeah there There are more ah liberal people in my life who don't want to vote for Democrats because of Israel or and Gaza or other progressive issues that like they think Democrats aren't progressive enough on. There are more of those people in my life than Trump voters and i' so and it is it does stress me out that because like on the one hand I get the concerns and I yeah share the concerns. On the other on the other hand like unlike many things we talk about on this podcast we are about to be faced with a very binary choice. It is one of the few things in life that I that is truly binary and that there is no spectrum about it. There may be a couple other names on the ballot but
00:13:01
Speaker
They are irrelevant. This is a binary choice of Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. burn For now, for For just now November 5th, for this one thing you do, which is choose one of them, it's binary. And if you want the slightest chance to to change things for the better, you have to vote Kamala. Because yeah if if things sway to Trump, guess what? Our chances of reforming anything are done are absolutely done. So like it just goes to show how much like checking out the chances of checking out of the process reforming the process.
00:13:41
Speaker
are none, are non existent. Like, yeah you checking out and being cynical, I've said all the time, like cynicism is emotional laziness, it's not wisdom, right? So you choosing to check out and choosing not to invest emotionally, sure, it might protect your ego, but then, you know, it leaves the rest of us out in the cold. And so like, and anything that you're that dissatisfies you about this process is all the more of a reason for you to participate more, because this is what the GOP and the Trumpers, and specifically like starting with like the Tea Party movement, they have had figured out, actually for 20 years now, almost better than we have, which is, oh, if you don't like something, change it. You run for local office, you run for the county election boards, you you know affect change in your neighborhood, and then in aggregate, this it it equates to a a truly grassroots sort of ah influence effort. Mind you, they also have, you know, this is happening in rural America, which is fertile ground for their ideology anyway. But the point being that like, they are miles ahead of us on this in terms of the being decided. I think Roe v. Wade is a perfect example because they they could have just treated that as well, shit, we lost, you know, at the Supreme Court level.
00:14:57
Speaker
But no, they fucking, I mean, having a bunch of billionaires behind you helps. But the point is, like there was a sustained effort on that side to keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. And guess what? they They successfully rolled back a human right, which has never happened in this country's history. So if we want to be the answer to that, we have to get as involved. And I've got good news for you guys. We outnumber them.
00:15:24
Speaker
Like, that's the- We all vote. well No, we don't. That's the fucking problem. If we did, right. If we all vote, we would win. you know vast vast when it comes This is the good news. This is the really, really really good news. This is the vast, vast, vast, vast majority of the American public knows what needs
Post-Election Engagement and Opposing Fascism
00:15:43
Speaker
to be done and is supportive of it getting done.
00:15:46
Speaker
Issues that that across the board, ah across you know both parties that have majority support, Medicare for all, expanding social security, doubling the minimum wage, breaking up big banks, progressive taxation, gun control, abortion access, climate change response, reforming the Supreme Court, these are all things that a majority of Americans want.
00:16:11
Speaker
So what's the problem? The problem is corporate money. And so we have to be, ah do I like it? No, but we have to organize that much more to counteract that, which I think brings us then to like, okay, so we vote for Kamala, then what?
00:16:31
Speaker
right and okay I want to get to that in a second but okay because ah this leads into that yes totally but it's also I just want to say like Trump is a fascist like you know all of these issues are so important and like we're faced with the choice of like fashion like Mark Milley his chairman of the Joint Chiefs says he's a literal fascist. And many other people who worked with him are scared of what he will do and that the democracy may fall apart. And so if you want to have any ability to continue making progress on any of the issues you just mentioned, we can't have a fascist leader because we won't then have a democracy and we won't be able to do anything. And so we just
00:17:15
Speaker
Yeah. Can we just thank every single God to that Trump is such a fucking buffoon and such a fucking like caricature cartoon care? Because imagine how much more. j yeah Yeah. Imagine if it's a JD Vance or it's someone who can or a Rhonda Sandis who can actually string words together yeah that we were up against. How fucked would we be? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and also by the way, I'm like Israel and got like other progressive issues that like I feel like you and I are on board with and like I've been critical of Israel, I'm Jewish, like I'm questioning my Zionism and what does it mean and if that's if this is the Israel that we're fighting for, like why? why it's not this is It's a genocide that's happening and that what the government is doing is not
00:18:01
Speaker
Good. And if you think all of that, Trump in office will will make it much worse. Exactly. No chance of it getting better with Trump in office. It will only be worse. Yeah. On what planet, in what galaxy, in what universe would Trump be better for the people of Gaza than Kamala? Yeah. My guess is 0.0000.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yeah. ah Yeah. Okay. And so but then that leads into so what I mean, vote, we we have to vote, we have to do things. By the way, and what else are you doing in advance of the election? And then we'll get to after like, so like, that' show we did so I got my postcards, I went to a lovely, lovely live at live show. And they were like handing out the yeah, they and and it was, ah it was a little like arts and crafts kit, too, which is actually which actually made it like,
00:18:49
Speaker
I was like, Oh, this is that's a fun craft project, especially because like, a lot of ah especially when youre you're sending it to like, certain demographics of swing state voters, they actually appreciate it when you when you take the the little bit of extra time, which I like, like I said, I have my recurring act blue donation, I think I would say that's probably my biggest contribution in the sense of like that funding specific that fund specifically is designed to aggregate money across multiple, ah you know, down ballot races across the country because we let's face it need all three houses. you know Yeah, like we need both houses of Congress and the presidency if we want anything
00:19:27
Speaker
to have a ah hope of getting done. um And then yeah, like a lot of it is is also just making sure that everybody in my orbit is like, you know, I'm like, Hey, do you, want do do you want me to send you the progressive voter guide that I've been following? Do you want like, you have any, cause that's the other thing too, is it's not just about motivating people to vote. It's also about kind of If you is if you have the means to be like the kind of go-to person, and your or ah even people who want to vote, like if you vote and it's just you know being that being the the friend that you can ask non-judgmentally, like, hey, which which ballot proposition is the is the one we're supposed to vote yes on? Which is the one we're supposed to... like Making sure that that you're not just it's not just about showing up, it's about coming correct.
00:20:11
Speaker
um is is the the big thing. so i liked in between all of I think between those those activities plus you know still having to work and be a ah human, and also, let's face it, it's Halloween, aka gay Christmas. ah yeah I think between all of those things, I'm i'm doing i'm doing enough because it's it's not up to it's not a matter of one or two people solving it for everybody. it's it's everybody the The beauty is also if we all do a little bit, yeah things get done.
00:20:39
Speaker
Right. i Right. The goal of this is that youre right. It's not like everybody has to reorganize their entire lives for two weeks. It's just like that. We got two weeks left. Let's focus on this. Give it a little bit of effort added yeah added into your daily life. Do do what you can because after exactly the next two weeks, there's nothing we can do for a while. Yeah, one 1% is an infinitely more than zero, you know, Yeah. yeah And so i also the only other things I would add are, A, stamps are more expensive than I thought. So so i said I sent out those 200 postcards. I didn't realize I would be making such a financial contribution to the cause, but that was part of it. I was supporting the post office as well as getting the postcards. So that was one thing. I've also been donating through ActBlue and to some different
00:21:33
Speaker
different candidate races in certain swing states. And then the other thing is everyone should make a plan to vote. I have my belly. It's somewhere over. oh I put it over there because it's off the table. But the and everyone needs to make sure you set aside some time I look mine looks just like that.
00:21:49
Speaker
set aside some time to fill out the ballot because you're not just voting for a president, you're voting for all the down ballot races. In LA, we have a ton of ballot initiatives, some of them I've heard of, many of them I don't know anything about, and I need a few days to like go through the voter guides, read what the ballot measures are, and make decisions. So set aside some time for that.
00:22:13
Speaker
I've already filled this out. I'm still remembering like, was it was it supposed to be was it no on 33 and yes on 34? Like, you know, it's, it's not all these feelings. It's difficult to remember. So you got to get your guides out, follow the people who you trust and see what they say, make your own decision, and then mail it back or drop it in a box in advance. My goal is to do it by Friday of this. Yes.
00:22:37
Speaker
Good, very very, very good. I always use the same ballot box um that's near me. So that's nice. You know, public libraries are always generally a really great. Yep. Public libraries are going at the Burbank Public Library, which I just remember of recently. But then here's the other thing is this is like like making sure that your correct down ballot is also ah also helps answer the question of what next,
Electoral Reforms and Grassroots Efforts
00:23:01
Speaker
right? yeah Because okay you know if you are tired of saving democracy every four years or two even two years you know with with midterms and congressional elections, then okay, that means we're gonna have to make some changes. We're gonna have to make some reforms to our electoral process. And so, like again, luckily, this is not,
00:23:25
Speaker
What were the problems were up against are actually a lot newer than you think citizens united was decided in oh three i think. Yeah you know so and and that was i mean there is a duke university study that that cited like that ruling specifically i think it was due there is a study done basically comparing.
00:23:42
Speaker
popular opinion on certain issues versus legislation that was passed. And after Citizens United, which, you know, allowed for unlimited dark corporate PAC money in politics, the correlation between popular opinion on issues and legislation that was actually passed, negligible. So you know the the So so so you know if we're we if we're making, the the project 2025, the real project 2025 that we need to be kind of implementing on a grassroots level is reforming this process, getting money out of politics, you know and then maybe changing electoral rules to make it so that we don't have to only you know choose between two parties. Ranked choice voting anybody?
00:24:26
Speaker
like right Where ranked choice voting has been implemented, it's really worked very well and given voters much more actual choice in the matter. Yeah. like I mean, it's not perfect. Eric Adams, I believe, was chosen by rank a ranked choice election, but this is also where you need to get money out of politics. this is like you know the the the the problem it's not that democracy the the problem or One of the problems, especially with people our age and younger, is that The age of democracy working was kind of before we came online as adults, so we don't really have you know memory good like you know I mean we don't really have that many memories of like being able to participate in this democracy of ours because you you know we came kind of after
00:25:12
Speaker
Yeah, after after that sort of mess this mess has started. first First big political memory I have is Al Gore losing even though he won and the Supreme Court deciding that he lost.
00:25:24
Speaker
And I'm from Florida. So yeah but that's okay. Yeah. so But but but right there, though, you know, if we're, yeah there are solutions to all of these issues, there is the the interstate electoral compact, I'm butchering the name of it, but there's already one where the popular vote would decide it. right it would decide the and and effectively render the electrical. So this is, again, this is the the light at the end of the tunnel for everybody, is that there are solutions in place
00:25:55
Speaker
Right. Already, there are nonprofits trying to organize around this. and And we have the capacity, especially because elections are administered at a state and local level, we have so much power to affect change in terms of reforming the process on our own. Fuck legislation, fuck the presidency, you know, this is how we make the process more small d democratic.
00:26:21
Speaker
Right. A lot of those things too, like you actually can move it forward pretty quickly on a local level, and then it starts to catch on. like that that is You've started to see stuff like rank choice voting more in the last few years, and ah there's a there's a blanking on it, but there's an organization I like that is interested in all those small d democratic reforms. Yeah, like vote for fair vote or something. I believe is try to look them up. There's another one that I'm blanking on. But the goal should be right, like democracy. And that's what we're preserving with this big election and not letting Trump in. But in ah in a bigger sense, it's like we what we want is that gap to narrow between what the people want and what gets implemented. And right now, they're very far apart because of all these undemocratic things in our voting system. And
00:27:14
Speaker
It would be great to get rid of those things. Yeah, I mean, it's presidential election. We are we are swimming upstream on this. I want to like I do want to sort of recognize that this is a challenging process that we are up against. One of the things that makes American democracy, quote unquote, exceptional is not its efficacy. It's actually just the it was in many ways the first Western democracy, you know, the first sort of democratic experiment that ah plenty of other countries observed and then kind of learned from our mistakes. So you know nowhere else in the developed world do we have so such a wide, such such a such a large and diverse population represented by so few political parties. So you know we do, it is gonna require a bit of imagination to be able to sort of, and it's gonna require a lot of like actual substantive discourse for us to kind of figure out what the best course of action is moving forward. But again,
00:28:11
Speaker
this the All that points back to the only way we can have an electoral process and a democratic process that actually works for people is for us to participate more. yeah That's it. That is the only solution.
00:28:28
Speaker
Yeah. So we have we have two weeks to participate before this very big milestone, but then that is not the end. There's a lot more participation that must happen after.
Impact on Queer Community and Masculinity in Politics
00:28:39
Speaker
That's not just about who is the president, but about a lot of other things. Any thoughts on why this election or just like being engaged in this stuff is important for the bi community specifically, or how do we factor into this? if ah If we do, what do you think? Oh, please. Of course, it like like we're queer like trans rights are are literally like under threat right now. and And actually, I mean, even in my former home state, and I say former home state, just because look like there are already laws on the books that discriminated not just against trans people, but against like people like me, who are who maybe cisgender are still queer.
00:29:19
Speaker
you know there the the one of the there's There's a book I wrote an essay for that was published and and it's like banned in my high school library now because you know it's about queer male identity. And so it's like the the all the work that I've done in my career up until this point to try to like de-stigmatize my identity and ensure that the next little RJ doesn't have to go through what I go, like all of that gets undone.
00:29:45
Speaker
Uh, you know, yeah um not at the, but or all that gets undone, um, you know, if the, wrong if the wrong people are in charge. Yeah. so Yeah, totally. I mean, I, I, I agree. Like the queer community is always sort of a scapegoat, especially a trans community, but like all of us and especially in this election. And there's also a lot of stuff happening with this, with Trump and advance in particular, in regards to masculinity and like,
00:30:14
Speaker
the the gender gap and the young male impulse to be you know upset with your place in the world and then gravitate toward trumpiness. I just think there's that there is a place for all types of masculinity under every umbrella. and like i don't know The connections I've made with other people are part of what gives me hope about where to go in this politics. like I wonder if you just surveyed by people who they'd be voting for. I'd i'd expect it with Lee and Democratic, but it probably wouldn't be all. But but among men, and like i there's something about masculinity in this election that's a little bit scary, but also I'm hoping to to see
00:31:02
Speaker
I'm hoping that many, many of us vote. I like walls for that reason, though, because I what's what's so great about walls is he presents a non toxic version of heteromasculinity and and leans to leans toward the type of alpha that actually exists in nature, because, you know, these the the the manosphere types love to talk about like an alpha wolf.
00:31:27
Speaker
Alpha wolves don't exist, they don't exist. Wolf wolf packs follow follow you know genealogical hierarchies. You want to know what ah you know what animal groups do have alpha males? Apes. la ha and you know You want to know who typically chooses the alpha male? The alpha female.
00:31:46
Speaker
and so you know and ah you know about one third of alpha males and in ah you know and and primate social groups are despotic, you know are rule with an iron fist, and almost all of them get murdered violently and in the end. Two thirds, like the the true successful alpha males in nature are the ones that are patriarchal in a loving way, in a supportive way, in a way that protects the most vulnerable among the group,
00:32:15
Speaker
in a way that, you know, is about providing and and and being more selfless and and being more altruistically minded. Like this is hopefully the version of masculinity, the non-toxic version that we can, you know, as as queer or men masculine identified folks across the the sexuality spectrum. Like this is the impulse that we really need to, as I say, as there's apparently motorcycle bridges revving behind me. perfect They're like fuck yeah, yeah this is this is the the type of masculinity that yeah we we need to start encouraging. um ah because there isn't There does not have to be something inherently toxic about masculinity if we if it's used for the right ends.
00:33:01
Speaker
Yeah, totally. I love seeing Tim Walz as an example of that. It's really she's so fun and and really smart, and like he makes sense. And even Doug Emhoff is a nice example of like of positive, non-toxic masculinity. Doug is a nerd, and that's what I like about him. like yeah yeah wins like that that's like Put nerds in politics again. like why do why does like i want i I want the the the bookworm to to be the one making policy. like why totally ba i Make politics nerdy and boring again. yeah Make America nerdy again. Yeah, yeah I agree. Any other thoughts?
The Significance of Participation Despite Apathy
00:33:45
Speaker
Final thoughts?
00:33:46
Speaker
I would imagine you would want to put some sort of ah donation link in the ah could i do the show notes. Yeah, yeah. Look at me look at me doing your job. ahll put We'll put it a donation link in the show notes. We'll put a few things in there. yeah Maybe there's some opportunities to volunteer in the last few days.
00:34:06
Speaker
<unk> Check the show notes. We'll put some stuff there. um Share with us what kind of masculinity that you like.
00:34:17
Speaker
Share with us your plan to vote. Yeah, it's ah it's it's super important. I have up ah one last little note, or one last little sort of of parting message. i yeah this One thing that really bothers me is when people are like, I'm just not excited to vote.
00:34:36
Speaker
Okay, are you excited to go to jury duty? like Are you excited to pay your taxes? No, but you do it because yeah we need that to happen for society to function. Yes.
00:34:52
Speaker
like's please i'm we we're about mid them um but like yeah It's not super fun to fill out the ballot. It's like it is some work, but it's yeah is so important and it will affect you whether you think it does or not or see the direct connection or not. I'm not passionate about brushing my teeth or wiping my ass, but I do it.
00:35:13
Speaker
It's because you don't have a, do you need a, you need one of those nice bidets and then you be passionate about cleaning your ass. But the the point that but that this is, you know, it's not about being excited. It's about like doing the work.
00:35:30
Speaker
Yeah. you know that that's so That's it. that's That's the end of it. like i have not I think I've been excited to vote in exactly one election in my entire lifetime because I got to participate in Barack Obama's first. Obama? Yeah. That was exciting. OK, that was cool. It was also my first time. so Yeah. you know I agree. like Do it, whether it's exciting or not. And I'm very nervous. And on the day after, we'll see how we feel.
00:35:59
Speaker
But I am, ah ah to be honest, there's so there is something kind of exciting about Kamala potentially being the first African American and woman, like first woman. Yeah, I mean, ah they're going to make coins with this. This woman, hopefully, cross your fingers and toes. I think it's hard to imagine how exciting it will be because I'm so nervous it won't happen. But I it'll be pretty exciting if it happens.
00:36:25
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, let let excited let that that hypothetical moment of relief and celebration and dare I say like, joy.
00:36:39
Speaker
Let that you know, imagine how good it's gonna feel. Imagine how good it's gonna feel, not just be especially because you didn't leave it to chance. yeah right? Yeah, exactly. Specifically because you participated. However, small, whatever crumb of participation you were able to scrape up from your life. Imagine how much better that that day, night, whenever that announcement is going to feel, knowing that you helped make it possible.
00:37:10
Speaker
Yep, yep. Perfect note to end on. i'm I'm hesitant to feel that joy right now or think about it too much. But you're absolutely right. If if we get to feel it on in a couple weeks, and will be it will be even more satisfying to know we all did our part like when but Like when Joe won in 2020, we remember, right? like Like there was jubilation in the freaking streets. It was like the end of Return of the Jedi. For for for Joe, who we, you know, as we all know, we are the the the enthusiasm did not last long. Imagine how much better it's gonna be with Kamala. It's including it especially because you know that this woman now has experience with all three branches of government.
00:37:54
Speaker
you know
00:37:56
Speaker
I've never seen anyone more qualified. Come on. yeah yeah All right. Everyone go out and vote. Do what you can. We'll talk about it on the other side because there's more work on the other side one way or another. Hopefully, it'll be a certain kind of work and not a other kind of work, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, there's work to do. One foot in front of the other.
00:38:20
Speaker
Uh, and thank you, uh, thank you for swinging by, RJ, the bi stepfather of two bi guys. If you're kidding, he's like, do you want to come by and share opinions? I'm like, boy, do I? I'll see you again next season, hopefully. Yeah, we're bi all the time. So let's, it's like, let's, let's expand but beyond just bi in theory. Let's be bi in the world. Whoo. Be bi. but All right. Uh, bye bye.
00:38:52
Speaker
Two Bye Guys by One Bye Guy is produced and edited by me, Robert Brooks Cohen, and it was created by me and Alex Boyd. Our new logo art is by Caitlin Weinman. Our music is by Ross Mincer. To help support this podcast, visit Patreon dot.com slash Robert Brooks Cohen. You get early access, bonus content, and full video episodes. Visit RobertBrooksCohen.com to learn more about my coaching, my book, and my stand-up comedy. And thanks for listening to Two Bye Guys by One Bye Guy.