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Let's Hear It for the Boy (Moms)
23 Plays1 month ago
Rena and Paige discuss the importance of getting their boys to clean their houses for them, how thin they were in junior high, and LAUSD's realization that kindergartners shouldn't be drooling over iPads all day.
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Transcript
Testosterone vs. Estrogen: Growing Up in Gender-Diverse Homes
00:00:15
Speaker
We're watching the boys at night. The boys? Yeah. Well, I'm watching boys all the time, I don't need more of them. You're watching those boys?
00:00:29
Speaker
Yeah, i don't I don't need more. the testosterone level in this house is excessive.
90s Boys: Aggression and Absent Fathers
00:00:35
Speaker
Yeah, yeah I guess I grew up in a very estrogen-heavy house.
00:00:42
Speaker
right And now it's flipped. Now it's flipped. Yeah. Yeah. I never, I never understood those homes with the boys just fighting, just like wrestling each other all the time. Just always wrestling and fighting. and But I mean, it was the nineties, you know, there was no intervention with the fighting. They just let them fight, fight it out.
00:01:06
Speaker
Right. But I think that is what you're supposed to do. It didn't turn out well for the one. Are you talking about specific people? I see i might be, but I'm not going to say. But like it's, I don't know, the aggression run when it runs unchecked. if there's But that's different. that That's like people where like they have like a more absent father or something. Oh, no, that's the absent father explains everything all the time.
00:01:32
Speaker
But that's the 90s. I mean, but daddy's at work, you know, like. um And maybe even
Parental Roles: Working from Home and Setting Boundaries
00:01:40
Speaker
before that. I mean, my dad was around. But maybe that was unusual.
00:01:45
Speaker
My dad made sure he was home for dinner, but then he'd start working again after his home office. Were you allowed to go into his home office? It was part of the bedroom. So like there wasn't much reason to venture over there.
00:02:02
Speaker
But i remember seeing his electronic pencil sharpener and that was exciting. office So, I mean, he'd show me stuff. So I think if any of us wanted to go there, he was kind of delighted to be like, you want to see my nerdy stuff over here? like okay So he didn't he didn't get like mad at you for interrupting him. You don't have memories of him like yelling at you to I mean, leave him alone.
00:02:24
Speaker
Well, hmm. Interesting. No, I don't have memories of that. But I'm sure I never would have interrupted him. I mean, so there must have been a time where they stopped me from doing that.
00:02:38
Speaker
Right. Or yeah. Or did did you block that memory out? Maybe. Because it was so traumatic for you. There was more stuff of like, let your mother sleep. Like, my mother could never sleep.
00:02:51
Speaker
but If she was asleep, like, like don't make a sound. Okay. Yeah. This sounds familiar to me. yes for my mother, but also for me. yeah There you go Like even yesterday. oh yeah. Go ahead.
00:03:07
Speaker
No, just Mike was telling the older child. Like he was reminding him like later in the day he was like, you woke her up because he slammed the door. like he just kept bringing it up. And I was like, I'm acting fine. Like for not having gotten an ideal amount of sleep. I thought I was functioning okay.
00:03:29
Speaker
But he just kept bringing it up. But letting letting the mother sleep, it's very important.
School Memories: Hours, Systems, and Social Dynamics
00:03:35
Speaker
ah Oh, I wanted to say also that I was wrong last episode.
00:03:40
Speaker
My high school was not. Eight to five. I'm sure anyone listening. I'm sure you're all keeping track. Yeah. yeah But yeah, that was that that was ah kind of very I walked up the hill both ways of me. but right yeah yeah nine Nine miles.
00:04:00
Speaker
nine miles everything was harder for ol rina So how did you find out that your high school wasn't eight hours a day? You know, in the middle of the night, it's funny, I really do feel like motherhood has lobotomized me because the thought kind of just like surfaced like a fart in a swimming pool, like right in the middle of the night. And I was like, wait, those it wasn't really that long.
00:04:27
Speaker
And then I just I was like, ha I tried looking on the website and then finally I like Googled it and figured it. out And I was like, no, it's eight to four. It's eight to four. Yeah. oh Well, that is things that is eight hours.
00:04:40
Speaker
And that is still crazy. That is, well, okay. It is still too long, but it's not nine hours. Like, you know. My school is 7.20 to 2.20. Yeah, that's public school, yeah. so That's a long time. That's seven hours.
00:04:57
Speaker
Yeah. So it's one more hour, I guess. A day. for years. Okay, I guess I still feel like it. I understand.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah. I just really hated that school. I mean. Is there anything else you want to say about it? No, I want to hear about, you also hated school, right? So I'm not alone in this.
00:05:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Well, high school, High school wasn't as bad. i mean, I guess I still did hate it, but not as much as elementary school. I had a lot more trouble.
00:05:34
Speaker
Okay. And did you have a middle school? So in in Arizona, it's weird. that it's The schools are K through eight, and they put the seventh and eighth graders. Okay. For me, we were in like portables.
00:05:47
Speaker
We were in like a separate area. That sounds like toilets. I know. And that's is' kind of how it felt because it just felt like my head was being shoved into a toilet not every day yeah um in those portables. But they're like like know like little little buildings and it's like two units in each building.
00:06:10
Speaker
So one side was one classroom and the other side was another classroom. And there were a bunch of these and those were the seventh and eighth grade classrooms. So it's kind of like a junior high situation. Yeah, that was our like junior high area. And we were separate from the sweet, innocent elementary school children. It was still the same school. And then so you're still with, you know, you're with just all of the same people that you've been with since you started school.
00:06:39
Speaker
Okay. Like at least I think because people in California, they go to like middle school and then it gets so it gets bigger and then you have you can like meet new friends.
00:06:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool. And there's more like ah more like middle school extracurriculars where like for for us, we didn't really have like we're like putting on plays and like doing, you know, cool extracurriculars in middle school.
00:07:08
Speaker
That does sound cool. Yeah, in Montreal, it's elementary till sixth grade, and then high school is just- The rest of it? of it Yep. Well, you're done after 11. So you're done a year earlier.
00:07:21
Speaker
so you yeah So you have like 12-year-olds mixing with 17-year-olds? Yeah, it's not good. um How did that – really?
00:07:35
Speaker
well it's just it's right when you're hitting puberty. i mean, like, so it's just – And then you're with much older teens. Much older and you're like, my youth, my childhood. like Right, just immediately. It's just gone. It's existential crisis. yeah's Yeah, no. Yeah.
00:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, I don't – yeah, I do think you should preserve the innocence for a bit longer. And then, yeah, are there like seven, were there like 17 year old boys going after 12 old girls? Like, did that happen? Not 12 year old.
00:08:07
Speaker
No. But there was for sure, no, I don't think so. Maybe a couple years older, but not not in seventh grade, like. Okay, so there seemed to be an understanding that didn't really happen. they seemed so much older at that age. I i don't know. But honestly, i was I was like a little out to lunch. I mean, and we all just had eating disorders that year. like In seventh grade? Like as soon as you want remind you that I am on the darker half of my dark side right now, so I'm going to lean dark with everything that I say.
Body Image and Peer Pressure in Adolescence
00:08:40
Speaker
Everything seems bad right now. Sad? Bad?
00:08:44
Speaker
Not good. Anyway, so yeah, we all had eating disorders, but that that might be a Jewish day school thing. I don't know. ah Yeah, it does sound like. I mean, yeah, there sure surely. i had some weird stuff with food in high school.
00:09:02
Speaker
Yeah, probably probably a little – probably started around eighth grade. Yeah. It's like counting. Like I counted every calorie I consumed. It's a tough time.
00:09:14
Speaker
Years. Oh, my God. Where did you learn about that? Like it must have been from like Oprah? How did you know about like calories? A lot of Oprah.
00:09:25
Speaker
A lot of the view – And then, you know, in magazines. Magazines, yes. I remember looking at Seventeen Magazine and just like crying. Yeah, no, they and they were very much like, you know, here's how to achieve – like yeah the perfect figure and like here's like a plan to consume the right amount of calories so bad i mean like the amount of sadness I had over this tiny little bump I had on my stomach like like I see pictures of my bat mitzvah I had it at 13 because my parents were progressive and like it's just I'm like I was skinny like there was like I just had like internal organs right now literally yeah
00:10:08
Speaker
So stupid. you were still, like, developing. Yeah. Yeah, i mean, my face was doing weird stuff, you know? Sure. You know, like, sometimes the ears grow before the face, or, like, there's just, like, weird, like, arrhythmic things happening visually.
00:10:24
Speaker
but But, like, looked healthy and, like, there was nothing, don't, in my mind, just had such dysmorphia, I feel like. It was crazy. Yeah.
00:10:36
Speaker
But everybody did that. That was the time. Oh, yeah. I just had like a teeny tiny little bit. I would look at pictures of my teeny tiny belly sticking out over my jeans and just be like, oh, my God, I'm so fat.
00:10:49
Speaker
Yes. It's crazy. No, I mean, like the girls that got attention in my grade had like like their knee bones were sticking out. They were so skinny. Like it was crazy. So you're like, if I want like attention from boys.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah. they All the boys in my school. Yeah. They liked like the skelet skeletal look. Like, i don't know. I did. I did. i think I told you, but not when we were recording last week that I got made fun of her being very skinny too. Like in elementary school. And I was like, they they told me like, you're the second skinniest.
00:11:27
Speaker
So maybe I was like, well, I'm not the first skinniest. Like, then it was like – they were saying it like it was a bad thing. Like, you're the second skinniest girl in school. ah in elementary school. Yeah, yeah, in elementary school. And then in high school, the tables turned. Oh, yeah.
Economic Disparities and Social Interactions in High School
00:11:41
Speaker
Well, then yes there was a big change because going to the high school, it was very different um because – there were a lot more like wealthier people who went to the school because of just the way the zone, the boundaries worked out. It's like I was going to school with a lot more like richer people. Oh, yeah. um So they were all like very cute and tiny and like had access to products that I didn't.
00:12:09
Speaker
I feel like there could be a dissertation on like – on like weight, aesthetic, and class and how it changes. I'm not going to write it. Somebody probably already has multiple times. Yeah, no, look at look at Substack. I'm sure there's something in there. Oh, yeah, Substack.
00:12:29
Speaker
but um i so I started one. I'll send it to you. Okay. Did you write something on it? Yeah. Just one one little one little post. It's just the introductory post.
00:12:42
Speaker
Oh. and i linked And I linked to our podcast in my profile. that's good. Like that's my website. So, yeah. I'm creating a media, a boy mom media empire. Empire. Okay. Yeah. you got to get on Substack too. You're going to be a girl boss boy mom.
Evolution of Parenting Roles and Household Responsibilities
00:13:02
Speaker
Girl boss boy mom. Girl boss boy mom. Girl boss boy mom. a boy I mean, it we always we talk about or I always talk about how like it seems like boy moms are always working. yeah So I need to finally fulfill my destiny. Gotta do it. Yeah. I'm always sitting with my laptop. Like it literally, it throws off the children. They're like, why do you have your laptop? oop Like, cause they don't, cause they're like, that's what daddy does. Daddy sits in front of a laptop and it's confusing to see mommy. do Like I'm just supposed to be like reading a little novel or looking at my phone.
00:13:38
Speaker
I'm not supposed to be going typey typey. Right. but you know, apparently. Before the like dishwasher and the you know washing machine and everything, being a mother was all about like industriousness, like.
00:13:55
Speaker
getting all the house labor done. Like, right. And that was like enough, right? Yeah. You didn't get bored because you had to do stuff. You had to be working on it.
00:14:05
Speaker
Probably had barely any time to watch your kids. That's probably why little kids are like, how do I help? Can I help? Like, oh yeah. Cause they're supposed to, they're supposed to be like grinding the grains or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:17
Speaker
But now that those things are so much easier to do, that's why That's why we go crazy because that's what we're supposed to be doing. But because everything is done for us now, we're just like... this meaningning are we ah words use we We've made ourselves obsolete. right or we don and them Or become overly focused on the children.
00:14:39
Speaker
Yes, yeah. Or, yeah, I'm worried. I wonder. But it's so fun to focus on the children. I mean, they are fun, but it's good because when you move here, will be wanting to talk to you all the time and then you won't be able to pay attention to your child as much. He'll be my focus. Yeah. I'll raise you, Paige. And then he'll resent me. All of the like daughters of the moms that I like to talk to.
00:15:06
Speaker
Like they'll they'll say that's not true, Paige, but like they hate me because I talk to their mom so much. So I wonder if that will happen to your child. I remember hating like if my mom was on the phone, just hating that she was on the phone with someone.
00:15:24
Speaker
Just get off the phone. Wait, so how does your – I guess I have i've i've witnessed that from your child when we're on the phone. Oh, yeah. He hates when I'm on the phone, but it's not as bad. i mean, but maybe I was older. I mean, if I'm remembering it, I must have been a little bit older.
00:15:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But yeah, it's definitely very annoyed. Or like if we were if it was the end of synagogue and I like wanted to go home already and my parents were like chatting it up with the other parents, I was so annoyed and so bored. Yeah.
00:15:57
Speaker
Right, because it didn't, I know. And I always figure out, like, I try to figure out the right way to approach that because kids need to learn how to be o okay with their parents talking to other adults.
00:16:10
Speaker
um But I understand, like, when when Mike gets mad at my older child for interrupting or when he's trying to, like, tell me something, and I'm like, well, he doesn't know what we're talking about, and he probably just wants to be
Family Communication Styles and Cultural Differences
00:16:25
Speaker
included. Like, I understand why he would.
00:16:27
Speaker
feel that way but I don't know how to strike the right balance of like well we should be including him but also guess it's like teach to like show him what to say when you interrupt like get him to be like a pardon like so he did a really we had we had it we had dinner uh with a friend from our temple who is moving to Israel um very soon So it was like a farewell dinner and my older child sat next to him and every time that he needed to say something to our friend, he said, um i need to tell you something or like, can I tell you something? And then he would be like, oh, sure. Yes.
00:17:13
Speaker
And then. he would say He would say whatever. But I was like, and I told him I was so proud of him that he was just interjecting in a very polite way. i thought that was good. Very thoughtful. Yeah.
00:17:24
Speaker
Yeah, we're definitely not breeding that behavior. But as you've witnessed by my multiple interruptions every time you talk. But that my my house wasn't like that. It was very interrupty. Everyone's talking over each other. there if i Yeah, we're all listening to each other while we talk and just whatever. Yeah.
00:17:44
Speaker
Not very conducive to podcast, but um this is it was also like a shouty house. I'm trying to get rid of the shoutiness part. We're working on that. Yeah.
00:17:55
Speaker
You guys don't seem very shouty unless you really keep it under wraps. We shout. For sure, we shout. Yeah. I mean, i also just naturally sometimes speak in a loud volume or speak with passion.
00:18:09
Speaker
But maybe sounds more shouty to my husband than I mean it to when I'm just like so emphatic. Yeah, no, no. You got to say what what Mike always says when people, when I think that he's yelling and he's like, you're being anti-Semitic because is...
00:18:30
Speaker
That's just... It's a cultural difference. I mean... Yeah. Yeah. it's yeah It's a cultural difference. I mean...
00:18:39
Speaker
yes But then also, like... People always thought Bernie Sanders was yelling. oh yeah. And, waving his arms around too much. Oh, come on. o Really? People said that? Yes. Oh, yes.
00:18:54
Speaker
That's so weird. I've never thought that about him. Yeah. That's hilarious. i mean I mean, when people speak, people aren't used to people speaking with
Passionate Political Communication: Past vs. Present
00:19:05
Speaker
passion anymore. I mean, it's very under the belt, these politicians. like Right. No, that's true. You're supposed to be low-key, passive-aggressive. I mean, ever since, what was that guy's name who made that weird sound and then was forever discredited? Oh.
00:19:21
Speaker
um Yeah, what's his name? Howard Dean? Yes, Howard Dean. Yeah. What did he do again? It was like, not I can't go remember.
00:19:33
Speaker
Yeah, I don't want to do an impression of the sound. I want to do a Howard Dean impression. But at this point, it wouldn't be defamation. I mean, he's like. yeah yeah, we have a soundboard now. I think I would be able to add it, I think.
00:19:47
Speaker
Oh, the actual sound? Yeah, I think if you – yeah, you can just like insert. You can insert Howard Dean? I could find a way. could find a way. Okay. Yeah, put it in there for our huge burgeoning audience so you know what we're talking about.
00:20:06
Speaker
But I feel like ever since then, like nobody's taking any vocal risks, you know? Right. you you got You got to stay. you got to stay down. here so I mean, even with Kamala's laugh, everybody was like, mm-hmm.
00:20:18
Speaker
or Kamala that was haunting that laugh was haunting I like the laugh but know I'm I like I like a bit of mania it's like it's comforting to me she's very manic very manic love I love a manic but it came from such a dark it just came from such a cynical place because she's her? yes oh interesting yeah I mean I really I really do not like her Oh, see, I like her. So we're on opposite ends of them.
00:20:49
Speaker
Yeah, that's why. But I also like a manic, like I said, like I i love being around manic energy. It's like very fun to me. It doesn't bother me. um I mean, and and but Trump gives us that.
00:21:02
Speaker
i think I also I'm biased a little because she spent some time in Montreal. So that's gonna make me like a lot of people more. No, to me, she was the – when – for the 20 – yeah, and the twenty twenty primary um in which she did horribly. Like, didn't she drop out, like, first or second? like I don't know. I was not keeping a close eye.
00:21:27
Speaker
But that should have told you, like, she that she would not be someone people would vote for in 2024, considering She didn't even crack the top, like, five 2020. But she was really scared me the most.
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah. No, I always thought Biden would win a second time and then step down and then she'd be president. I thought that was like the plan. um No, that would have been But it's like that's not people didn't vote for her. Like and that's what made it it such a disaster last time because I'm like no one even chose her to be running like he shouldn't have. Yeah. I mean, if he but he didn't know he wasn't going to whatever. I mean, we all know. that yeah we all know what happened.
00:22:08
Speaker
He just should have never debated Trump like. And I would have won. He just had to literally not talk in public until after the election. and then it would have been fine I mean, or just run some. I don't know. Yeah. Well, what a mess. I mean.
00:22:25
Speaker
i mean, it's just been very overwhelming since then. Everything. don't even know what to say about it. hu Well, he's fine. Trump made it unscathed on Saturday. and Oh, yeah.
00:22:43
Speaker
Do you think it was staged? No. No, i look forward, though, to learning more about the guy who did it. Did you watch ah RFK running away without Cheryl Hines?
00:22:58
Speaker
No. it's funny. Oh, I want to see that. He's like, he's got like a bunch of security people around him, like, and like running off. And then she's got her head down. She puts her hands up. She's like, huh?
00:23:10
Speaker
Like, what about me? You know? Oh, man. oh she's really been put for the ringer. Like, He left her in the dust, like the same way Larry David's character would have. Yeah, yeah, no. Right, no. She's living it.
00:23:26
Speaker
It was like George Costanza with the fire. you know that episode? i'm only I'm very slowly making my way through Seinfeld. Oh, okay. i shouldn't spoil it for you then. You'll see. Please don't. I've only had 30 years. You've only had 40 years. Whatever.
00:23:43
Speaker
so Please don't spoil the show that ended 25, 30 years. Yeah, I don't know. um Wait, can I share my great news? Yes, please. That you already know. oh but Because we discussed it on the last episode, i want to provide an update to the listeners.
Technology in Schools: Screen Time and Homework Debate
00:24:01
Speaker
Please. We got rid of the iPads for the young children the Los Angeles community. This is a big deal. Yes, it's incredible.
00:24:11
Speaker
Yeah. mike Mike is taking all the credit because he spoke at two board meetings. He did? ah Yeah. Yes. Oh, I did not know And one the only, like, they had a lot of trouble getting dads to speak. Like, it was just oh a lot of moms. So, you know, I can see how he would have stood out.
00:24:31
Speaker
Yeah. And, you know, people listen to men. Yes, sadly. Yeah. yeah Maybe maybe it was him. He got through to them because he said something like – he said something vaguely threatening like, we will not let up.
00:24:45
Speaker
It is only going to get more annoying for you if you don't. you See? comp Confrontation. Yes. This is good. Yeah. It does work. He'd be a good one. And it's crazy because it's like he he described the blank faces of the board members when he was talking and when everyone else was talking.
00:25:02
Speaker
And so it was so gratifying. So i took I took the boys in person to the final board meeting last week ah where they were voting on the resolution. And it's like all of the board members just like emerged from their shells and were like, yeah, we hate these two. Like we have kids and we know how bad it is.
00:25:23
Speaker
and it was just like the whole time, like in their heads, they were like, yeah, obviously these people are right. But it it didn't emerge until the last meeting that They really did agree with us all along, and it's amazing.
00:25:37
Speaker
We'll find out, like, more details. Right now it's just the iPads are eliminated for TK through first graders. Okay. I don't know what's going to happen in second grade, but I hope ah there isn't too much screen time in second – because second grade is still so young. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:58
Speaker
No, there shouldn't be any at school ever. for I mean, like. I could see like typing papers. Oh, come on. When you get to middle school, like. and At home. You can do that at home. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, you don't need.
00:26:12
Speaker
I mean, and then if you don't, you know, if you don't have a laptop, if you don't have access to a computer or whatever at home, then there's, they have a system in place where you can like. take a laptop home with you if you need one.
00:26:24
Speaker
um But yeah, why why do you need to be doing that at school? Because I was freaked out.
00:26:31
Speaker
What? No, no, go ahead. yeah I'll just say the the thing about the third graders because like i I always tell you about how freaked out I was watching the kindergartners hunched over on the iPads.
00:26:41
Speaker
But I also was freaked out by the third graders who like there was like a dead silent classroom. And it was just a bunch of third graders on their Chromebooks doing whatever on their Chromebooks. And to me, that was eerie too.
00:26:57
Speaker
is eerie. Because it's a good way to get the kids to shut up, you know, because they're locked in on the screens. It's not good. They should be getting in trouble for talking to each other. Well, and also at this point, like with the AI and everything, like just go back to like typewriters and handwriting essays. Like that's the only way you'll know. Right. It's the only way to not.
00:27:20
Speaker
cheat. Well, and still might not know. I mean, if they're like copying it from ChatGPT. Right. you can so But at least it's so much harder. or like make them write it in the room. like Yeah, do it in the room. Because I also, I don't really agree with having homework, especially in the younger grades. So that's a good way. Homework should not exist yet. No, it's crazy. So that's that's a good way. Like if you have homework, then you can cheat.
00:27:43
Speaker
So just don't have homework. Just don't have homework. Honestly, homework is what started my downward trajectory in school for sure. Because you just didn't want to do the homework. They started being worried about me at school because I just, the homework was half-assed, you know, because I was tired. didn't want to do, was already an eight to eight hour day in sixth grade or whatever. And like,
00:28:05
Speaker
I didn't want to do like some big French project at home. Like, oh that's crazy. How do you when does your brain ever get to rest? But then like all the other kids were doing fine. That's what was so crazy. I was like, how are they not, how, I don't know. it was just bizarre to me. I didn't know. Adderall wasn't a thing then, right?
00:28:24
Speaker
It wasn't like every kid on It was just like maybe in its infancy, but my mother's always opposed medication. for mental stuff. so That's another story. but She just kept being like, they don't know the long-term
ADD: Symptoms, Education Challenges, and Societal Expectations
00:28:38
Speaker
effects. But no, they did my parents didn't really believe in it. They they believed we had ADD, but they thought we it was basically like something we should be able to overcome naturally. Interesting.
00:28:49
Speaker
yeah so They believed it was a label, but they also were like, you got to fix that. but Did they do anything? like so i I get being reluctant to medicate your kid It wasn't. mean, I was. Did they do something else? Did they do other things, like come up with strategies to.
00:29:07
Speaker
I mean, first of all, they they only really at that point thought my brother had it because I was a girl. Right. Right. I was just they were just like, Rena spaces out a lot. You know, she's so ditzy. She just needs to focus. Yeah. Yeah. Get her head out of the clouds, you know? Like, clean get organize her cubby. like Stuff like that. And my parents were just like, yeah, because she's a creative genius, okay? She's smarter than you. That's why she can't do her homework. Right. She's bohemian. It's a menial task. Her room is messy because she is as she is an artist.
00:29:46
Speaker
Right. I mean, these are the stuff. I always say all this stuff, but they were saying that for you. That's they were saying it. So then I was like, yeah, you know, like I'm special. But but then they wanted my grades up. I mean, at a certain point, yeah, they wanted the grades up once they mattered in high school. I mean, yeah.
00:30:02
Speaker
But then they just tried to, like, basically yeah bribe me and it just didn't work. They'd be like, we'll get you your own computer. i mean, I really wanted it, but I just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't get my grades. Didn't have it in you.
00:30:17
Speaker
No, I couldn't do it I really tried. I really tried. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, and it really felt like I was like something is wrong with me because everyone else seemed to be just floating along. Like they're like, what do mean? The teacher tells you to do this thing, you do it and then you memorize the stuff, you get the A and then it's fine. And then you forget all about it immediately. Yeah, they didn't get – I retained more information from high school than my friends. because you just had less.
00:30:50
Speaker
You had less to retain. but that's I was listening. i mean, a lot of – like, it's like my long-term – a lot of it was going to my long-term memory because that was the only way I could retain the information.
00:31:02
Speaker
They could utilize their perfectly good working memory and short-term memory. Right, and right. Like flashcards. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't do, i like, it's a short, a lot of ADD is just working memory problems. Like, you put something on a shelf in your brain and then you go back for it and it's gone.
00:31:23
Speaker
You're like, I'm going to need this information later. And then you go back for it and you're like, it's gone. Yeah, poof. Like, where did I put my keys? I know I was like, I need to remember where I put my keys, but the actual information has left my brain. Yeah.
00:31:38
Speaker
So I think a lot of the work was like busy work like that. I don't know. That's my suspicion. I don't actually know enough about it. But no, I mean, no, I mean, my mom, that they just, yeah, they thought I just had to like figure it out. It's like boomer mentality. Like, just do it, you know.
00:31:54
Speaker
right right like It was ultimately like you're being a little lazy. You just kind of don't want to do the work, but you just have to do it, you know. So there's a lot of that.
00:32:08
Speaker
And then I was like, yeah, why can't I do it? And I was like, I guess I'm a rebel. oh Well, so you kind of assumed this like bad girl. I was like, I guess I'm anti-establishment if I won't do this stuff, you know, like. Right. Because that's how they framed it. Like.
00:32:26
Speaker
just do it. These were the authority figures saying, just do it. And you're like, well, what if I don't? What if I can't? I mean, since I can't, I, and I'm also a genius. Right. You can justify it. Yeah. You can justify it by being like,
00:32:41
Speaker
ah i I learned from the streets. like Yeah, I must just be Janis Joplin or something. But I did spend a lot of time just like listening to Tori Amos and crying for sure. just like Straight up. um But it was, yeah, I didn't understand what was happening.
00:33:02
Speaker
I didn't understand like consciously what was happening at all. Did you ever talk to your parents about that later on? Like, or did they ever have any regrets about how they handled it?
00:33:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah. i mean, my mom loves to obsess about the past. I try not to with her too much. It's a lot of like poking old bruises for no reason, you know?
00:33:26
Speaker
I mean, she she gave me a book in university like about ADD. She kept being like, if you read this book, you'll figure it out and cure it. you know like Read. It's called Driven to Distraction. You're like, how am I supposed to read the book? I'm too distracted. I'm like, I skimmed this at best.
00:33:45
Speaker
Even though I find the subject matter fascinating. like anyway But no, university also, I was drowning. I mean, that's another story, but I don't want to make this a whole long Rina biographical episode again.
00:33:59
Speaker
Well, do you think you're, like unless you don't want to get into your own child's, like, do you think he could have ADD? Or, like, I mean, he's too- There's going to be something going on. I mean, that we don't know what it'll be, but we both have ADD. I might have other stuff, too. Like, I don't know. I've never been formally diagnosed, you know?
00:34:18
Speaker
So I just don't know, but- ah we'll see. I mean, like, ah my best friend I made in Brooklyn, or like, she is like, um autistic.
00:34:35
Speaker
And her special interest is early childhood development. And she has two kids. And she, so she's talked to me a lot about it. But it's like, so she's like, yeah, he's definitely neurodivergent. Something's going on. But like,
00:34:49
Speaker
you know i i i just feel like cross every bridge when you get to it like yeah the need to to diagnose and put your kid in a box when they're really young and just being like oh well i had it so they definitely they definitely have it like i can see how it can be helpful to do that because you're like well i'm prepared to deal with it because i went through this but then also it seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy thing Well, it doesn't feel the same to me as it would someone who doesn't have it. Like, I don't see it as this big problem.
00:35:24
Speaker
Right. yeah Yeah. Like, you know, so I'm just like, to me, it's just apples and oranges. Like, I don't think i think ADD is just it's another type of person. Like, so it's like it doesn't feel like a negative um let's say descriptor.
00:35:41
Speaker
um So it's like, it doesn't feel like a, like a box so much as like, if he needs, I see, I don't even know what the support would be like,
00:35:55
Speaker
but I think it's just, we're prepared for the inevitability. Obviously if he's not like great, you know, like but then there's no need for any intervention. He'll take care of everything in that house.
00:36:05
Speaker
Well, he'll just function, ah you know, like with school and stuff. Like there won't be, we won't, then that's, but then there's no problem with us thinking he was and then he wasn't, you know, then it's like, all right, you know, like he's fine. be great He'll function in easily in society. Like, if yeah yeah go ahead, you know, we'll just be the, we'll just be messy and he'll, you know. yeah You'll be the punk of parents. It might be frustrating for him to have parents that have ADD, like.
00:36:35
Speaker
but But no, I mean, like, but the odds are definitely stacked. I mean, they say now it's genetic, so the odds are stacked certain way. like um But it's not a negative, like, that's the thing. I think a lot of people hear that as like, oh, he's definitely like, I don't know.
00:36:52
Speaker
Like something's definitely wrong with him. You know, and that's not really how I mean it. Did I end up saying it? I almost said the word doomed. Yeah, doomed, yeah. I don't see it that way. I'm like, there's there's pros and cons, you know, like,
00:37:04
Speaker
um It definitely doesn't jive well with the system we're in presently. Yeah, and certainly the way school is set up, it which is probably, i don't know, you went you went to a really hard school.
Benefits of Outdoor Environments for Neurodivergent Students
00:37:18
Speaker
But I think in general, in in this country, school has gotten a lot harder in terms of like, Sitting still and doing more worksheets and having less recess time.
00:37:29
Speaker
Yeah. But that's California really appealed to me because of the outdoor fact like that some of the schools are like outside in between classes like or outside at lunch like, you know, in terms of the climate like.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah. In Arizona, our high school was all outside. Like you had you would just walk outside all the time. Yeah. Like that really, I think, would have helped me just to have those few moments even of just like outdoor transitioning outside. Yeah.
00:37:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that's part of of that. And like also like Brooklyn's very stimulating. It's just a lot of stimulus all the time, which is like not so great, you know.
00:38:06
Speaker
for neurodivergent people. like so it's like, you know, there's there's some factors at play there for the event. and and And look, yeah, if he doesn't have it, you know, like... He seems different than the other kids to me, but I mean, he would anyway, because he's my kid. So I'm like, I can't be objective at all. see him as special, which no, he is. yeah I mean, okay. at this point, you know that he gets he gets overwhelmed by like lots of other kids and lots of stimulation. I mean, I i don't think he's, no, no. He only gets overwhelmed if he's hungry. It's honestly, that one's more about me.
00:38:41
Speaker
I get overwhelmed. If it's like a room full of kids, like pretty crowded, like. But maybe, and maybe you're like projecting some energy that makes, if you're overwhelmed. think like, I was just like mother, you know, your mother's um mental health is like a huge, well, supposedly a determining factor. So i'm like, if it's good for me, it's probably good for him. You know, like, so whatever, like.
00:39:05
Speaker
Well, and then when you say.
00:39:08
Speaker
just about what In terms of ADD being genetic, is it is it like definitely like in the DNA or is it just like ah an ADD mother is more likely to foster an ADD child? It's DNA. I mean, most of the way kids turn out anyway is not nurture.
00:39:30
Speaker
It's nature. Like most of it. I think I could be wrong. Look, I'm no scientist. this I mean, I like that. That really is. There are people I've heard that said this in a believable way and I believed them. So take it with a grain of salt.
00:39:46
Speaker
But I do believe that. Because some people say it's like a trauma response, right? Like no trauma response has similar symptoms, but it's not ADD. You can have similar symptoms to ADD when you're traumatized. I mean, like, yeah.
00:40:02
Speaker
but But you don't you don't believe ADD is a trauma response? I don't, no. But if you ask my mother, my mother was like, whatever. She was like, maybe because my brother had a difficult birth, like, just maybe that's what, you know, like. Oh, that explains your brother's ADD?
00:40:25
Speaker
She's like, they had to use the four sets. yeah i like We were like, okay. like I appreciate that line of thinking, though. I can relate to that.
00:40:36
Speaker
Yeah, i mean, she said it to him, but anyway. like she's not blaming She's not blaming him. She's just like... Maybe your brain got smushed, and that's why you're... If anything, it should really take the heat off. He's like, it's the four sets. My brother's like... like a lot of people look up to my brother. Like, he's, like, not, you know, some... Like, he's great, right? He's doing fine. like, great and very smart, like, you know, has a career, like, has a PhD, know? Meanwhile, your mom's, like, those forceps really mangled your brain. Your brain got smushed. My kids are all messed up. Like, it just doesn't matter what we do.
00:41:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, in a way, it takes the, at like, the pressure off her. Like, well... Doomed. Yeah, doomed. I
Chores, Child Development, and Autonomy
00:41:25
Speaker
see.
00:41:25
Speaker
No, I don't think we have ADD because of our parents, although they didn't give us chores, which I do think having to do chores would have probably helped us in the long run. ADD or no ADD. We should have had chores. Yeah, no, I think they're good for everyone.
00:41:41
Speaker
i do. I mean, like, i I kind of wish I had had chores before. But I made up for it as an adult. I mean, like in college or right after college, I was like, I became a cleaning lady and stuff. Like I was like, I have to learn how to do all this stuff. I had like a a boyfriend whose dad was a chef and he like taught me how to cook. Like I just had to learn everything from like my peers, like, or by doing stuff. like But then you felt like that was good for you too.
00:42:06
Speaker
That was good. yeah Yeah, yeah. No, I think I wish I had had more responsibility. as a kid because I feel like I didn't really become confident until I got i got a job when I was 16 at Mervyn's.
00:42:22
Speaker
Mervyn's? Which is a department store. was a department store chain. And it shuttered in, i think 2008, the 2008. But that was my that was my first job and I wasn't very good at it at first, I think, because I was not used to like having to work, work you know. But i then I was like great at it And it gave me – it finally gave me like so much – I feel like it gave me a lot of confidence.
00:42:52
Speaker
And I like learned how to talk to people because my parents would very introverted. Oh, really? Like it was it was really great to be forced to talk to people all the time. Like it was a very busy mall.
00:43:06
Speaker
um The store was in a very busy mall. So in like, you know, Black Friday, like there there was always it was ah it was a very busy place. So I always had to be interacting with people. um And I had to deal with, people like threw shoes at me. Like I dealt with like a lot of crazy customers. Yeah, I had shoes thrown at me. I worked in the shoe department.
00:43:25
Speaker
What? Like George W. Bush? Oh, yeah. You and I have a lot more in common than I thought. People threw shoes at you. People threw shoes at you. Some customer. I can't even remember at this point what exactly happened. I had managers get mad at me. had customers get mad at me.
00:43:45
Speaker
um mad like did You were good at your job. Oh, yeah. I was just like above it all. Well, you know you want to know something crazy? The manager who got mad at me Um, she was, there was this manager who was really mean to me all the time.
00:44:00
Speaker
And I finally stood up to her. And after that, like I said something, I like talked back to her. Like I said something that like, you're not supposed to say to your boss and you're like 16 years old. um and you haven't been working there long.
00:44:16
Speaker
But then after that, she was nice to me forever. For the rest of the time, I worked there. It's like fighting your bully. Yes. Yes. It really works. If you just give a one good punch.
00:44:29
Speaker
And in the moment, it was like she was clearly mad at me. But then after that. Do you remember what you said? Was it the C word? um It was the C word. It was the word kli clearly.
00:44:41
Speaker
like Like she said something. No, and I can't remember. Like, and then I said clearly in a sarcastic way. don't know. don't know. So that's the new C word. If you ever want to stick it your bully. Clearly. Just imagine like a 16-year-old and I'm like wearing my like little dress from Forever 21, you know.
00:45:07
Speaker
There's a good store. But yeah, I think it it does. It gives you autonomy. Like I think I felt, um I mean, infantilized. don't know if that's the right word, but that I could never participate in the housework.
00:45:20
Speaker
That it's like I was never thought of as capable. Right, right. Oh, yeah, because you're the little bohemian genius who can't be bothered to do Right. But then there was this passive aggressiveness of like, why aren't you helping? But also, i you won't do it right.
00:45:35
Speaker
I'll do it. Oh, yeah. But I also understand like it's a habit from when kids are little that it's like I'll take a break from being with the kid to wash some dishes, like just to let my mind like go back to stasis or whatever.
00:45:49
Speaker
Right. And I'm sure – and they're also like ah it'll just be faster and be done yeah better if I do it. I won't have to do it a second time. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:00
Speaker
but But it is better for the kids. It's better for the kids. And overall, it's better for you, too. I mean, like now when my kid takes his dish to the sink or throws things in the garbage, it is like, ah, like I'm glad I didn't have to do that. Thank you. you know ah That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. No, it yeah. And it might be slower, a slower process, but.
00:46:21
Speaker
it's actually helpful. It's actually helpful once they learn how to do it. And it's not such a steep learning curve. It's like it maybe like a month or two of like, no, it's like this, you know? and I remember the first time my kid brought his dish to the sink and...
00:46:37
Speaker
Maybe he had successfully done it with like plastic dishes, but he just went up to the sink and like dropped a ceramic. sp and Just shattered. everywhere
00:46:49
Speaker
Thanks. Yeah. The thought was good, but yeah. yeah the thought was good but yeah But yeah, i definitely want to make a conscious effort for that because that that's not going to come naturally to me. because And even still, like with cleaning, I still just kick them both out of the house and just clean the whole house. Yeah.
00:47:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I'll probably eventually have to stop doing that and be like, you know, I know. that But yeah, we always do that, too. Except it's Mike. Like Mike will usually be the one to. Right. Because Mike has our Ashkenazi OCD situation. no Good, good, good. I'll tell them that that's just innate in him. And that's why it's what's kept the plague away. so yeah, it's been working for years and years and years.
00:47:33
Speaker
Yeah, for some for some things, other things not so much. but Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, i did have a friend whose parents gave her her allowance only after she did her chores. I don't know about that one.
00:47:49
Speaker
I mean, that was, yeah, that was the way it was for me too. Yeah. that But yeah, just kind of – I do feel like the chores should just be done because you're a member of the household.
00:48:01
Speaker
You're a member of the household. You're going to be a member of – you are a member of society. so this is just something you got to do. Well, and everyone's always like men have those bachelor pads with like no – like they don't take care of their homes or whatever. So I don't know if that's – I guess we'll see if that's nature or nurture.
00:48:25
Speaker
Oh, if you're a child ends up having a disgusting bachelor pad. I mean, if you if we get them to clean regularly. Yeah. Yeah. know Yeah, that's true. I think I'm a lot messier than any man. So I'm already throwing off that stereotype. I'm very disgusting.
00:48:48
Speaker
I can be – I mean, I can let things be a mess. like But I also know that eventually I'm going to kick everyone out and clean it all. Right. So that's reassuring. You're like, this is there's a light at the end of the tunnel. There might be a bunch of cups near my side of the bed right now.
00:49:02
Speaker
Oh, it's always the cups. Women love cups, you know, cups by the side of the bed. I consume liquid and – No, I always have my cup and then I get annoyed because Mike will like put it in this. And I was like, but that was my cup. That was my cup for the day.
00:49:18
Speaker
Like I was going to drink water from that cup all day, but he just sees it. Right. I leave it by the sink. Yes. Cause you don't want to keep washing a cup every time. Yeah. It's just water. You just want to drink your cup of water.
00:49:30
Speaker
i should just get you a water bottle. Cause then he won't touch the water bottle. Right, because that's a water bottle. I'll get you like a... No, that's a good idea. There's actually a water bottle I really like right now, but I'm not
Diet Soda, Health Perceptions, and Unsolicited Feedback
00:49:42
Speaker
going to name it. It's too trendy, but it's very good. The straw is very good.
00:49:47
Speaker
Okay. Get a lot of water at once. Are you getting gift? I'll get one for Maybe we should get podcast branded. Oh, there we go. There we go. Hydrate mothers. We need a guy. Oh, maybe someone will reach out to us and ah tell us that they'll do our merchandise because we did – um I received an email from someone who wants to ah make our podcast better, which I found very offensive. Do they have – are they related to a prince in Uganda? Is this a real email?
00:50:21
Speaker
was like the pod cast doctor or something and He was like he was like, I found your podcast. And if you would like it to not sound like absolute garbage, um I will – i ah I will do your mixing. Oh, something like I'll remove your ums.
00:50:40
Speaker
I'm like, okay those are my words, okay? I don't need you coming in here and removing Those ums are very relatable. People say i all the time. People hear the ums and they're like, I do that too. i love this podcast.
00:50:57
Speaker
They're just like me. Yeah, and like real, like, yeah, i feel like the real the good podcasts that I listen to, they don't they don't edit that stuff out. They say ums.
00:51:09
Speaker
Yeah, and there actually there was an option to do that on our podcasting platform. Oh, really? And I tried it, and it sounded insane. It was just it's just sounded, you know, you don't want to add more edits than you absolutely need.
00:51:24
Speaker
It was very jarring. No, you're doing a great job with the editing, I think. so no, thank you. No, thank you, podcast doctor. No, podcast doctor? Something like that. I don't i think they they might have just signed it the podcast doctor. I don't know be i don't know where they got their degree. Okay.
00:51:46
Speaker
This is like that that stupid riddle where it's like the doctor's a woman. Didn't think of that, huh? You know what talking about? The doctor's his mother. No, but only a man would be so annoying as to- That's what I'm saying. There's no way. Yeah. yeah There's no, no, no. Not a drop of estrogen in that email.
00:52:07
Speaker
um But if you're still, but maybe they're just a fan. So if you're listening, podcast doctor, thanks for sticking with us despite the atrocious yeah quality Look, if I ever want to get checked for podcast heart disease.
00:52:23
Speaker
You can get an E-A-G. Yeah, you didn't you can send me to a podcast specialist. You can see. I'll refer you. Okay.
00:52:37
Speaker
Cardiac arrest. am i that i i think me died on this podcast what I think that means we've made it, by the way. if we're oh yeah so's um there's some There's someone looking to check out all the new podcasts. and um They're aware of us.
00:52:57
Speaker
yeah Yeah. We're making a splash. So far, we've pretty much just annoyed people. I feel have we ah i don't think we've annoyed enough people. No, we're not done being annoying, that's for sure.
00:53:10
Speaker
We'll find more people to annoy. mean, I think I'm pretty good at being annoying. That comes with being a younger child, don't you think? Knowing how to annoy? yeah yeah, I think, yeah, that must be why we're so annoying. Yeah, and Mike's a younger child too, also notoriously annoying.
00:53:29
Speaker
I mean, with my husband, there's really no explanation. He's just, I saw the librarian again. You did. This is what I've been waiting for I gave her the the classic white person.
Library Experiences and Engaging with Children
00:53:47
Speaker
That's it. just That was it. When you walk by, you do the... it's like yeah That was it. Did she do it back to you?
00:53:56
Speaker
Nothing. Not a not a thing. Did she make eye contact? Yes. And that was it. That was it. Do you think she remembered? I have no idea. mean, came in with my child. I mean, for another kid thing, like Ready, Set, Kindergarten is what they call it.
00:54:18
Speaker
Ready, Set, Kindergarten? It's just, they just read some stories and there's a craft. That's it. That's not, you know. And then they go off to kindergarten. It's a classroom. gets them used to a classroom environment. But honestly, the guy who does it is always like, he's like, i haven't had coffee yet. I guess I'll read these books. Okay, that's nice.
00:54:42
Speaker
He just always seems a little bit like, all right, you guys are lively today. Yeah.
00:54:49
Speaker
He's insulting his audience. What? He's insulting his audience. just like very like, whoa, this is a lot. It always seems like he went out drinking the night before. Okay, that's cool. You know you're doing this for toddlers. Like they're going to be a lot.
00:55:04
Speaker
He seems surprised every time By how like lively and loud the toddlers are. yeah how and Yeah. Well, especially, obviously my kid is like going up to the front and it's like, but I think he could be like, he he's just very, part he participates lot.
00:55:20
Speaker
I see. I see. and this We'll be going story time together soon. I mean, I'm just impressed that there's a man doing this. Oh, yeah, they have men in the at the New York system. There's men for sure doing there's one of them is incredible. I was such I saw him on the street. I was like, we are huge fans.
00:55:37
Speaker
Really? Because the thing it's called Brainy Babies. They have like different programs and they tour the libraries like. um But he is like so good and clearly loves doing it, you know.
00:55:50
Speaker
um We saw him at a different library, then he was at our library. You never know who it's going to be because Brainy Baby is like a bunch of different people do it, but he was like, he was so good.
00:56:01
Speaker
He was so good. Oh my God, I'm dying. hu Yeah, what's this cough? This cough is a little… We're a little sick over here. I'm keeping that in. I'm keeping i'm going to keep the cough in and maybe we'll get an email from a real doctor.
00:56:17
Speaker
He will ti it'll be like, you have a cold. Yeah. That's always the worst slash best, I guess, when you bring your kid in and they're like, yeah, he has a cold. Like, just give him fluids. What are you doing here? You know? Yeah.
00:56:39
Speaker
And that one time I wanted them to check for an ear infection because my kid had been like, my ear hurts, you know, this ear, you know, instead of the night before and he'd had a fever. so I guess we should check for an ear infection.
00:56:52
Speaker
And then he checked and he was like, yeah, no, he's fine. ah Give him fluids. Get out of my house. Huge waste of time. yeah Why did you come in? Yeah.
00:57:05
Speaker
So, but I did get to see the doctor that everyone had been talking about in the parent chat with the big guns. Oh, really? were yeah were they Were they right? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody was like, this doctor is Jack.
00:57:21
Speaker
And they were all, they were right. He's jacked. All right. And now yeah now you can safely move back to Los Angeles. Yeah. Now that I've seen the jacked doctor at Tribeca Pediatrics.
00:57:35
Speaker
Do I sound okay? Should I drink water? Is this okay? um Do you have water within reach? No. You got to keep water. Or wait, where's your, ah oh, I didn't even tell you. know how you had a,
00:57:47
Speaker
Cherry Coke Zero on the last podcast. So later that day, i went i went to Target and i got a fountain Cherry Coke Zero. Oh, fountain's even better.
Longevity and Positive Outlook: Lessons from Grandparents
00:58:02
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I mean, if you can get it from a fountain, why would you get it anywhere else?
00:58:06
Speaker
ah from ah From a coca Coca-Cola freestyle machine. Oh, it's the best. Really customized. of course I think that's, it's like all I ended up getting at Target was that. Wow, i really gave you a craving, huh?
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah, I always get at the AMC theater, I'll get like half cherry, half vanilla, Coke Zero. Oh, it's so fun. Extra large. Yeah, it's so good.
00:58:33
Speaker
I love, I mean, if there's one thing that's really rubbed off on me from American culture, it's that I just, I love the taste of poison. o Well, you know, what gave me a lot of confidence was my I used to really avoid diet soda, but then yeah ah my grandpa, who's 85 and a half, was telling me about his like diet Pepsi habit when he used to like fly on planes all the time.
00:59:04
Speaker
um and I was like, well, he had them. he's all He's still here. He's doing all right. so yeah Maybe they're not so bad. It really doesn't matter. mean, I saw an interview with 103-year-old. And three year old they're like, what's the secret? And he was like, alcohol. Good,
00:59:24
Speaker
good. yeah He did a couple of other things, but like he definitely said, he was like, alcohol, company of good women. Like, sorry. Hell yeah. Every STD is running on alcohol and STDs.
00:59:40
Speaker
Unless there's like something really weird in the water, it's genetics. Like that's what I think. Right. There's nothing. Unless you're like near some kind of a spill. like Yeah. Oh, yeah. That does. There can be environmental factors, I think. Yes. Yes. like You know, the whatever, whatever they put in the fertilizer these days. But there's like extra. Yeah.
01:00:01
Speaker
extra bad stuff. But like generally, I think it's just just that I mean, like this random my grandmother lived till she was 100 and think 106.
01:00:14
Speaker
A long time. What did she, what was her favorite diet? yeah ah I mean, she drank coffee for sure she But she was all about so just like, what's the word?
01:00:29
Speaker
Equanimity. Where you're like, not too much, not too little. Like everything. Moderation. Yeah. and That's what they She's all about moderation. Yeah. so did she Did she get work like in terms of like stress levels, like Do you feel like she was an anxious person or did she, you know, keep it chill?
01:00:51
Speaker
It's hard to say because she was from um such a different era. It was a lot of, like I said last time, like formality, like like if there were stronger feelings. Also, I was her granddaughter, so it's like, how am i going to see? But um you're always kind of in a good mood around your grandchildren, I think. Right. Yeah, yeah. Got to keep it together.
01:01:11
Speaker
Yeah, so I don't know, but I think there was a lot of tumult in her family history with, like, coming over on a boat when she was two and, like, you know, just being immigrants and...
01:01:29
Speaker
ah ah poverty. I think she's just, she was just very even keeled, like very, very like, ah what's the word where you're just like, that's reality. um What's the word?
01:01:44
Speaker
I'm not going to remember. There's definitely an A in it. Wait, an adjective? pragmatic Pragmatic. Oh, okay. Yeah. She would always say everything is copacetic. That was like her.
01:01:58
Speaker
Okay, so maybe that's like the 1930s version of saying everything's cool. like Everything's copacetic. That's what she would say. Okay, well, that's how we're going to end this this episode, is we're going to say everything's copacetic.
01:02:12
Speaker
Everything is copacetic. If you say it, speak truth into existence. All right, let's do it at the same time. Everything. Everything.
01:02:25
Speaker
I love it.