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B is for Boy Moms
26 Plays24 days ago
Rena and Paige do a live reading of A is for Awesome, 23 Iconic Women Who Changed the World. They also talk about why no one should do stuff on Saturdays and how much they hate scooters.
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Transcript
Listener Feedback and Unwanted Topics
00:00:08
Speaker
be too depressing today. Because of being on the dark side. I'm right on the darkest part of dark side, yeah. And I just listen to the dark stuff.
00:00:20
Speaker
And, you know. well as long as you don't talk about, you know, we got some feedback from listeners on what they don't want us to talk about. all need to talk about. i will yeah Thank you. Now I don't have to cut it.
00:00:36
Speaker
Okay.
Block Party and Birthday Reflections
00:00:37
Speaker
Give me boy mom stuff. What's the latest?
00:00:43
Speaker
ah Okay. Well, we went to that. um There was a block party in our neighborhood that we went to together. Do you remember that day? You went to like 17 parties. Yeah. Which I also wanted to talk about what a mistake that was.
00:00:57
Speaker
the blockss i would say the block party was the biggest mistake. With me? Because I was there. Yeah. if yeah who also no Actually, that was the only reason I did go is because you were there and you were sad and it was your birthday. So it is it was worth it.
00:01:17
Speaker
But I don't know if it was worth it to you. um It was worth it to me. It was nice to see you guys. And now we have a memory together. so memories are always worth it.
00:01:29
Speaker
um Yeah, it was, I was having a bad day anyway. I mean, on my birthday. um Which, like, i my birthday is 50-50 if I'm going to go the dark side or the light side of birthdays. Like, I've had sad birthdays and I've had, ha like, ecstatic birthdays. And it's really nothing in between. Wow.
00:01:50
Speaker
No, there's never been a bland... No, there's never been a middle-of-the-road birthday. like So this was a sad birthday for you.
Parenting Anxieties at Social Events
00:02:01
Speaker
This was a sad birthday. Even though you spent a decent amount – because we also saw each other in the morning.
00:02:06
Speaker
Right. It's not your fault, Paige. We saw each other in the morning and then you texted me about how depressed you were immediately after you saw me. And then you codependently were like, I got to get Rita out of the house. But no, what I want to say was, okay, we went to this block party and I didn't want my child to go to the bounce house because everybody looked twice his size. And as you know, I'm on the anxious side. And my sister told me the story about someone breaking their leg at ah at a at a in a bounce house. And now I'm just scared. You know, unless it's like kids all his size only.
00:02:44
Speaker
and the regulation did not seem very regimented. Like it seemed like some dude who just owned the bounce house was like, yeah, OK, now it's just going the little kids. But then like big kids would go in.
00:02:56
Speaker
So I was scared. And so I finally got him out of there. The bounce house was like right when you walked into the blog party. So it was unavoidable. You had to like take like my kid obviously really wanted to go in. He did go in at one point.
00:03:11
Speaker
Um, but then he had to come out, which was really hard. And then I had to carry him like kind of kicking and screaming to the other side of the party. And then this mom looked at me and was like, your face looks like how I feel. and I was like, yeah, this sucks, right? Like,
00:03:30
Speaker
Wait, this is in the party or what? What sucks in the party? Like as I was dragging him away from the bounce house, like and she also had a kid. She was her. She said her her kid was like three. And then I just like launched into a rant. I was like, they put the bounce house right at the entrance and you can't avoid it, you know?
00:03:47
Speaker
And then I could see like like She had just wanted to make some little joke about us having toddlers. Like she didn't think she'd like open this can of worms. like so like All right. All right. waiting Save it. as She was like, okay this is actually like a bad drive.
00:04:04
Speaker
Like I thought I was just making a quipping toddler mom's joke. I was like, but I took it as an excuse to just like completely unload. So she like instantly started talking to someone else.
00:04:15
Speaker
And I was like, okay, guess I guess she wasn't asking for my life story. like No, isn't that crazy? but not everyone not everyone wants that and all the time. Well, also people don't appreciate misery the same way in LA as they do
Societal Views on Parenting
00:04:30
Speaker
in New York. the New Yorkers love misery.
00:04:33
Speaker
Right, that's not necessarily the bonding the bonding tactic Yeah, the bonding tactic here is like, yeah, but full moon and Taurus or whatever. I don't know. I need to find it again, truly.
00:04:47
Speaker
I'm not like... i haven't encountered much of that. I mean, the the people we spend the most time with are kind of just, I mean, pretty normal, right? Just like maybe like healthy. things They do seem pretty healthy. Yeah.
00:05:03
Speaker
Okay. It's just I've never been I've never been one for the just like. Doesn't parenting suck like one of yeah like I feel like it is a thing and you don't necessarily do this, but to just like like isn't this the worst, like all the time, like I got that from parents before I became one.
00:05:23
Speaker
um And they would say like, oh, like everyone just talks about how great it is. And so I think it's important to be honest about how hard it is. And then I thought no one talks about how great it is. All anyone does is talk about how terrible it is.
00:05:39
Speaker
100%. That's all I ever heard. When I was pregnant, I was like, I guess I'll just grin and bear it for 18 years because this is going to be horrible. like Right. That's how people make it sound. Nobody was saying anything good. no, no, no. no Yeah.
00:05:53
Speaker
They hide the good stuff. But then I was convinced after I had a kid that like they don't want to gloat and that's why they're not saying the good stuff. Or are people just genuinely that upset about it all the time? They're that miserable. I mean, I think...
00:06:06
Speaker
Go ahead. one Oh, well, that moment like caught me in a moment, like in a flash of like, like flood of negativity, like that, that moment, it really sucked.
00:06:18
Speaker
but So the, were were there any other notes on that, on that block party? Um, I felt kind of bad that I didn't want to take a name tag, but I just truly was honoring myself that I really didn't want a name tag.
00:06:31
Speaker
I don't enjoy having a name tag. I never want to wear a name tag.
00:06:36
Speaker
I think ah I kept looking at people's name tags, expecting to learn. Like, I wasn't really talking. It was just a bunch of like very rich people.
00:06:49
Speaker
Okay. And like, they didn't, they didn't want to talk to me. I had no reason to talk to them. You know, we're, we're in different worlds. um And I just kept looking at their name tags, expecting to glean something from their name. I'm like,
00:07:02
Speaker
But i I didn't. So i was just like, what is the point? And then people would be doing that to me. and They would be like looking at my name tag, reading my name, expect they're expecting it to change their lives and they would be disappointed by what they saw, you know? Yeah. That your name is just Paige.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like, this okay, there's nothing. I'm not someone, you know, I'm not, I'm not someone whose name you recognize from something. Maybe it's just for the organizer. like Because I know if I was organizing one of those things, I'd be really scared of forgetting a donor's name.
00:07:38
Speaker
i just There's something about presenting your own name that's always been... i don't know. just doesn't good. No, you just have problems with authority like I do. Oh, 100%. Yeah, if you're telling me to wear the name tag, yeah.
00:07:52
Speaker
i don't want to do it. I just don't want to. Simply because they don't want you yeah don't want to. Yeah. You don't need to be on a list somewhere. Like, I think you said that when we walked out. I don't want to be on a list.
Name Tags and Social Dynamics
00:08:07
Speaker
don't need to be on a list. Yeah, no. I don't need to get junk mail to donate to something I'm never going donate to.
00:08:14
Speaker
On the other hand, some authority, like the airport, I'll do whatever they say. I'm fine with that. Well, that's the only way you can get on that plane. It's different if you literally have to listen to them.
00:08:27
Speaker
But I don't find it off-putting. I find it like weirdly comforting and familiar like that it's all like regimented at the airport. It's predictable. and i some boy'd definitely rather I'd rather talk to TSA than the people in charge of the frank Franklin Hills Residence Association. association Yeah, see, if we could get TSA to run the Franklin Hills Association. Then we would wear name tags.
00:08:54
Speaker
Then I would wear the name tag music to because TSA said I should wear the name tag. yeah you know And they'll say it in an unemotional way. Like, there's no subtext with TSA.
00:09:05
Speaker
They just say what they want. It's good. Right, yeah they yeah. That's what's nice is that they are They're clear. clear Unlike Disneyland people, by the way.
00:09:21
Speaker
how are they confusing? They're passive aggressive. And they're all on power trips. Oh, at Disney. Oh, it's gotten so bad lately. They are.
00:09:34
Speaker
I mean, occasionally you'll get a nice person. They are not what they used to be. Okay. Let me tell you. Okay. Okay. like every What do they do something Something annoying happens every time I've gone recently like on my way in and just being very aggressive about opening every like every pocket in a bag.
00:09:59
Speaker
But they won't they won't like it and it they won't just say it in a direct way like TSA would. They're just like, oh, they say so if you if you could also, I need to see this one too. Like instead of just being like, open this, open it. Like that's what I want. But, you know, that's California. so Right.
00:10:16
Speaker
And it's also dealing with like Zoomers who don't know how to interact with people. That's the other problem. Right, because TSA is ex-military, so they'll be like clear. Or life feel like they're ex-military. and they're just older. and that's That helps too. Yeah.
00:10:33
Speaker
People under a certain age simply do not know how to interact with strangers at all. so what um What else? You
Over-scheduling and Child Behavior
00:10:42
Speaker
wanted to say something about how the block party was for you? Well, more about like a lesson, a very valuable lesson that I learned that day. Actually, two.
00:10:52
Speaker
um because I don't normally do so many things on a Saturday. you know, I'm trying to honor the Sabbath and ah keep things keep things a low key.
00:11:06
Speaker
um But there just happened to be a lot going on that day. And I just did everything that I was invited to or that my child really wanted to do.
00:11:19
Speaker
um And it ended up it ended up just being way too much. And, like, my older child never got a chance to rest. He also – well, the other mistake was sugar because I have not been giving him as much sugar lately.
00:11:34
Speaker
But in honor of your birthday, i let him have some. But then I just, like, I don't know. It's something – I just kept it going, which was a huge mistake. Like, I let him have, like, cereal that had sugar in it.
00:11:49
Speaker
um And so the combination of doing too much and sugar resulted in a very, very rough evening. um and I would never, i would never do that ever again.
00:12:07
Speaker
What was rough is just like meltdown and he didn't want to go to sleep. Yeah, just like, but we're like nothing, nothing even made sense. And it was just all you could do was blame, blame the sugar and the, and the lack of rest.
00:12:20
Speaker
We also had a rough time putting our kids to bed that night. Maybe it was too much for them. But we were... It was combo. We were all tired. All of us.
00:12:32
Speaker
Yeah. So it was just the combination of elements was really bad. oh no, not Saturday, Sunday, because Saturday night I went out for my birthday. That's what. Yeah. yeah Yeah. It's doing things for my birthday. See, I knew i was sad. i was like, I don't feel like doing anything with my for my birthday.
00:12:51
Speaker
I should have trusted that and we all would have been fine. on the other hand dinner was nice to go out to and having coffee in the morning and a treat for our kids was very cute it was very cute we got great pictures pictures the people at the cafe were like wow someone procreated you know oh yeah they came up we had we had some fans come up to us and say like we've been watching your children this whole time and what did they what did what did she say to you That they're just so cute. I don't know. Something like that.
00:13:26
Speaker
It was nothing that really stuck in my head. I think it's just there's usually just dogs at that cafe and no not
Future Weekend Concerns and Rest
00:13:32
Speaker
a lot of children. Or maybe when those people go to that cafe. Because they were the only kids there. The rest was all dogs. Yeah. It's a nice change of pace to see some Human, human babies as opposed to the fur.
00:13:47
Speaker
Yes, exactly. But yeah, doing too much is too much. I think I'm worried about what? what What are you worried about?
00:14:00
Speaker
I am worried. i am I'm worried about like once my child starts school and we're forced to do more things on weekends and have more obligations on weekends, I'm going to be one of those weekend parents, you know. And they're always they're always doing too much. They always seem very overwhelmed because this is the limited amount of time they spend with their kids.
00:14:23
Speaker
And if my kid is just going to actual school – If you become more religious and really keep the Sabbath. Yeah. That might be solution. I'm just sucking you in. Just call, you know, i'm not I'm not religious, but I have connections.
00:14:42
Speaker
but I think I would. just keep one day really low key. like Yeah, I think Saturday I would do, like we just, which is what I try to do now, is just go to the park on Saturday.
00:14:54
Speaker
And that's the yeah that's the only thing we do that day. And I never feel – I mean, some people, i think, find the park to be overwhelming. I love going to the park. I can go to the bathroom whenever I want because there's always someone to, like, watch my children. have people to talk to. Like, it's the best. So that's not – No, it's relaxing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah.
00:15:15
Speaker
But, like, that's What do you think kind stress models are? That's all I need to do that day. What do people find stressful about the playground? Like that there's too many other kids? um I've read, ive i've read you know, these these moms on Substack who talk like they'll be posting about what to wear to the playground. And they're like, if you're stuck going to the playground, this these are the shorts that I wear when I am forced to endure this terrible thing.
00:15:47
Speaker
terrible time spent with my child. I wonder why they hate it. i'd find it so much easier than being at home with him. Well, I think, yeah, well, so these are, these are people dealing with toddlers and they only deal with their toddlers on the weekend. So it's more daunting because they're not as used to it. i think part of it is that but then guess if they don't, if they don't know other people who go to the park,
00:16:16
Speaker
Then maybe maybe. All right. all right Just maybe it's the work thing. They spend all week at work on the weekend. They just want to be home. They don't want to like go do something. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. I'm sure.
00:16:31
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if I ever have dog, I will understand better. But I feel like my husband sometimes is like that. like Like this morning I had some work I had to do, unpaid, of course.
00:16:45
Speaker
and And he was like, can't you just go do it at a cafe? And I was like, I don't, you know, because he was like, I just want to stay here with him. And I was like, you know, we were like fighting over who gets to stay home.
00:16:58
Speaker
Right, right. Yeah. Whereas I'm like, isn't it a billion times harder being here with him? But then he has dad energy. So like they can like play like in a way. Right, in a different way. again Yeah.
00:17:12
Speaker
It's like dad, like they can like play cars together because they're both obsessed with cars or whatever. oh or trains or yeah, pretty days. They just have more in common than you and your kid, I guess.
00:17:26
Speaker
Maybe. Maybe. You just, you can't, can't really. Can I tell, can I tell our listeners what I found, what I found at your house yesterday?
00:17:40
Speaker
oh yes, of course. The book I've been saving to show you. I was going through the books on, ah Rena's bookshelf, obviously. And i found a book called a is for awesome.
00:17:58
Speaker
Which, by the way, I don't know why. it That didn't make it clear what the book was about. this This title does not make it clear what the book is about, other than it being, I guess, about letters of the alphabet.
00:18:10
Speaker
That's why I took it from the free library. Because you're like, A is for awesome. Sure. Yeah. that's And then so this is going to be a book that's going to teach my kid his the letters. Yeah. Yeah. um Yes.
00:18:23
Speaker
But what it's really about is 23 iconic women who changed the world. And so I'm going to do a live reading for the first time.
Critiquing 'A is for Awesome'
00:18:35
Speaker
Here we go. are Are women superior to men? We're going to think so. Let's see. Let's see if that's true. Okay. let's see this starts Hi, I'm Juno. There's a whole world of inspiring sheroes out there. Here are some of my favorites. Ready for some adventure?
00:18:54
Speaker
Let's go. and this this girl named Juno is wearing bandana. She looks very scrappy. Oh, a is for the awesome aviator, Amelia Earhart, the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic.
00:19:13
Speaker
And I guess this is something she's saying because it's in quotes, you know, word, word bubbles. Every book now has the word bubbles, um which i really do not like. um I think it's really dumbing down the children.
00:19:29
Speaker
And it says that the star seemed near enough to touch and never before have I seen so many. Did she say this? i have no idea. and also like the only thing I think about, the only thing I think about about her is her demise.
00:19:50
Speaker
I'm going to, I'm going to look up this quote. um She died on an island and got eaten by crabs like or something horrible. The stars seemed near enough to touch and never before have I seen so many.
00:20:12
Speaker
ah She said she said it Allegedly. you know Okay. So it's a real quote. So I'm going to assume that all the quotes are real. I mean, to be fair, she was gone. I could have quoted her on anything.
00:20:27
Speaker
ah B for Beyonce, singer, songwriter, actress, producer, and all around... It just has a picture ah of a crown and a B. so it's supposed to be all around Queen B. And this is definitely for kids to read.
00:20:49
Speaker
And kids will totally... ah think it's so cute that they put a little crown in a little picture of a bee. Okay. And her quote is don't try to lessen yourself for the world. Let the world catch up to you.
00:21:04
Speaker
Are you inspired? Okay. C is for the forever chic Coco Chanel designer and OG girl boss.
00:21:17
Speaker
in order to be In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.
00:21:25
Speaker
Do they know what OG stands for? like Yeah, and kids know what girlboss is. They're going to find out about girlbosses from this. so definitely Again, definitely a book for children. To be loved and appreciated by children.
00:21:39
Speaker
Okay. d is for Dorothy Hodgkin, a crystallographer who won the Nobel prize for succeeding in the impossible. Does that tell you anything about what she did?
00:21:53
Speaker
No. Do you know what, do you know who Dorothy Hodgkin is? I read the book before. i can't say that it's stuck with. Does it say what you did?
00:22:06
Speaker
She succeeded in the impossible. Okay. That's it. Wait, it literally gives no more details? No. What? That sounds like she jumped off a building and then learned how to fly. like I mean, she succeeded in the impossible.
00:22:24
Speaker
It's almost like the words of this don't matter because nothing in this book matters because it doesn't actually tell you anything at all. She was a British chemist. What matters in the book is that ladies can do it all. That's what matters in the book. So she advanced the technique of X-ray crystallography.
00:22:42
Speaker
To determine the structure of biomolecules, which became essential for structural structural biology. And i guess I guess they would argue like no kid will understand that.
00:22:53
Speaker
But I would argue that this is even more difficult to understand because it doesn't tell you anything. Way more. ah Yeah. and And also, like, let the world catch up to you. You know, let's say what actually like, let's not generalize. Let's specifics. I mean, this book is obviously.
00:23:15
Speaker
For like girl, girl moms, but. um guess or her like Yeah, does that make us seem really catty right now? For boy moms who like, who like wanted a girl? Like, there i don't know.
00:23:29
Speaker
ah Right, right. And they're overcompensating. Yeah. Okay. E is for Emmeline Pankhurst, the defiant suffragette who helped women win the right to vote. And she said, we are here not because we are lawbreakers.
00:23:46
Speaker
We are here in our efforts to become lawmakers. hoo-foo She was also a poet. Okay. okay Okay, that's fine.
00:23:58
Speaker
Reminds me of the lady in the Titanic. Wasn't she? She was also a little suffragette, wasn't she? Yeah. You're talking about the. What actress played that one? The like older woman? Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
The one who, you know, spoke her mind. Right. Yeah. You know, in the movies, whenever a woman speaks her mind, they always make her kind of like she's not going to be skinny. Like error yeah she's going to be like the older, you know, the unattractive or like not conventionally attractive one who's like sassy. Right.
00:24:34
Speaker
That's why it's so jarring for people when a beautiful, thin woman speaks her mind. They can't handle it. Yeah, bitch. Watch out. F is for the flamboyant and fierce Flojo, the fastest woman of all time.
00:24:53
Speaker
And she said, when anyone tells me I can't do anything, I'm just not listening anymore. i mean, does that apply to literally everything? think I truly love when When TSA tells you to either take your laptop out or not take your laptop out, it's always whichever one you didn't already do. um Is she not going listen? Yes.
00:25:16
Speaker
brought big, bold. Maybe she has, pre she might have pre-check, you know? Oh, she doesn't have to, she doesn't have to deal. Yeah, I bet Flojo has to. This doesn't come up for her.
00:25:28
Speaker
yeah yeah G is for the groundbreaking artist, Georgia O'Keefe, mother of the modernist art movement. And she said to create one's world in any of the arts ah takes courage.
00:25:44
Speaker
To create one's world in any of the arts takes courage. Okay, sure. um You know, when I was a teenager, I didn't realize that she painted vaginas and I put her poster, her like paintings up all over my room.
00:25:57
Speaker
Cause you just couldn't, you couldn't see them? I thought they were so pretty. I thought it was just flowers, which is what they say they are. But then I guess everyone knows it's actually vaginas. like So did anyone read into you doing that? Did anyone make any assumptions about your preferences? or No, no, no. My parents were just, they were like, it's great, it art. You know, like they didn't.
00:26:20
Speaker
You know, necessarilyly this is basically the same thing. I put up a giant poster of Hilary Duff wearing a bikini and my friends thought that was weird.
00:26:32
Speaker
But I just thought it was it's Hilary, like I was just like, I love Hilary Duff and I will like post any single pic, any picture of her I find on my wall.
00:26:43
Speaker
And that's what I did. i didn't know you were so into the like Duff. Did you get Duff stuff? Oh, I got Stuffed by Duff. Stuffed by Duff. Oh, that's what I was going to say. Stuffed by Hilary Duff from Target. Yeah, obviously I did.
00:27:00
Speaker
Terrible quality. I mean, it was its Target. Okay. all all course The point is we had a lot in common in our adolescence. Okay. H is for lesbian Harriet Tubman, the brave abolitionist who helped hundreds of slaves to freedom.
00:27:15
Speaker
The quote is, I was the conductor of the Underground Railroad for eight years, and I can say what most conductors can't say. I never ran my train off the track, and I never lost a passenger.
00:27:30
Speaker
I mean, my child would love this quote, all this talk about conductors and railroads. So this one, I believe this one I believe is for the children because kids do like hearing about trains and railroads. Yeah. Right.
00:27:45
Speaker
Okay, I is for the fashion legend Iris ah Appeal, who proves that your own style is the best style of all. And she said, when you don't dress like everybody else, you don't have to think like everybody else. Ooh.
00:28:04
Speaker
I wear sweatpants every day. Not like everybody else. What does that say? What does that say about how you think? Um... Well, I think it's it's honestly, it's to soothe, because obviously I'm very stressed out and sweatpants are relaxed. So maybe it's like some contrary action.
00:28:23
Speaker
And the point is if you are around, see, because you you are generally around people who are not wearing sweatpants, like at the park or when you when you leave your house, um then you are a contrarian and you aren't thinking like everybody else.
00:28:39
Speaker
I'm not putting in, yeah. I'm not wearing yeah linen or jeans or whatever. I'm not wearing jeans and and I'm not going to wear jeans until my kid is older. It's just not going to happen.
00:28:51
Speaker
See, it for me, jeans are very, they can withstand a lot. Like I like wearing jeans because, you know, they they can hold up to a lot of stress. That's true.
00:29:03
Speaker
Right. i have not I have not had the time or space to find jeans that are not uncomfortable. Like it hasn't been, that's not something I've been able to do. but um but Maybe I'll help you. We'll do like a montage. Maybe we'll do a special like boy moms go shopping. Boy mom clothing montage. You'll learn about how horrible it is to be plus size when you look for jeans. Yeah. It'll be a good time. but All Hey, Jay.
00:29:30
Speaker
we would say j J is for chef and author Julia Child, whose zest for French cooking inspired millions. And she said, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all, have fun.
00:29:46
Speaker
I like that.
Learning from Julia Child - Fun and Mistakes
00:29:47
Speaker
Okay. I think fun's very important. Underrated. Oh, yeah. You gotta have fun. ah Fun's the best. listen And nice one this one's good for good good for kids. I mean, I do agree. Kids should learn from their mistakes.
00:30:02
Speaker
Be fearless. I mean, yeah, you're trying things out when you're a kid. I think kids should have more freedom to try things. I'm okay with kids having some fear. and i don't know. I think fear is okay.
00:30:15
Speaker
I get scared of something. Well, that's why you got to read a Little Red Riding Hood. That's the right way to teach them fear. Right, right. Scared of the wolf. K is for Catherine Graham, the formidable first female publisher of the Washington Post.
00:30:34
Speaker
And she said, courage is when you have a choice and you choose to be courageous. now L is for Lucille Ball. There we go.
00:30:45
Speaker
Comedic genius and the first woman ever to run a major television studio. she ran a studio? I didn't know that. I mean, yeah, back then I feel like things were a lot more intermingled.
00:31:00
Speaker
Nowadays, actors seem like they don't have any power. Well, apparently that there were these like mess halls where everybody ate lunch and you could like talk to everybody. Yeah. like You could like go up to the head of the studio at lunch.
00:31:14
Speaker
Yeah. Just bring that back. Bring back lunch. Bring back lunch. Bring back the mess hall. bring Bring back lunch. Bring back the old yeah cafeteria, the studio. Okay. M is for Malawa. whose rallying cry for equality and education was heard around the world.
00:31:31
Speaker
And she said, when the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes more powerful or becomes powerful. even When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful. Okay.
00:31:47
Speaker
Well, this might be who to blame for declining birth rates. All right. Next
00:31:56
Speaker
uh n is for nina simone uh all right wait i'm not saying this right n is for the tempestuous and talented nina simone singer that's songwriter and activist she said i'll tell you what freedom is to me no fear She does. she she does Her songs make me cry.
00:32:25
Speaker
She's like one of the only people. All right. over We approve. but She was notoriously a big bitch. yeah O is for Oprah. Self-made television icon, philanthropist, role model. The list goes on. and She said, I wish you curiosity and confidence, and I wish you ethics and enlightenment. I wish you guts.
00:32:50
Speaker
I don't know who she said this to. She yeah said it's, you know, maybe someone in her magazine. Tom Cruise? And that's what got him all riled up?
00:33:05
Speaker
That's what got him on that couch? She looks like she's giving away cars. but yeah she's like She's holding a key. I mean, that's all people associate with her, I guess. That and Tom Cruise. Yeah, and it's just a pretty car.
00:33:19
Speaker
um All right. i like I mean, I wish you ethics. I have some follow-up questions, but I'm going to move on. P is for Pat McGrath, makeup maestro and businesswoman. And she said, creativity is the most important skill.
00:33:37
Speaker
Don't be afraid to experiment. Okay. Okay. Who is that? I mean, this is part, like, the the child is going to hear this name and it's going to go in one ear, out the other. You have no context. for You have no, you're not making connections with anything else.
00:33:52
Speaker
She's, she's not. and make amazing No, no. That's like, they're, they're really reaching. yeah Because but yeah no one is going to remember these people. who who would you have put for P? Yeah.
00:34:08
Speaker
Penelope Cruz. Oh, yeah, I would definitely go with Penelope Cruz. She's great. Okay, there you go. ah Q is for Queen Elizabeth I, whose quick wit, strategy, and tenacity brought a golden age to England, and she said, I'm not afraid of anything. Hmm.
00:34:32
Speaker
no oh she I mean, she stood up for her right to not have children. Or maybe she couldn't. i don't know.
00:34:40
Speaker
She's like ultimate. She killed her cousin, sort of But anyway. Okay. ah R is for...
00:34:52
Speaker
Oh, who do you know? Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice and the Queen of Dissent. Fight for the things and that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. All right. I can read between the lines. It says that that means, you know, don't rock the boat too much.
00:35:11
Speaker
Be, you know, she's she's thinking more, more, more Biden than Bernie. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Vote who vote blue no matter who. Yes.
00:35:23
Speaker
Okay. S is for Sacagawea Intrepid Interpreter and Guide for Lewis and Clark's Historic Expedition.
00:35:35
Speaker
I think I looked her up and she was like an underage girl that like showed them stuff to build maps. But her story is kind of sad. i could be wrong.
00:35:46
Speaker
That sounds right. i only We did a Lewis and Clark play in like... Fourth grade. So my association with her is not getting cast as her because I was bad at acting. but What did you end up playing?
00:36:02
Speaker
A made up character named Cassie who had like two lines or something. You're just token white girl that they wrote into the script. Yes. Yes. um Okay. T is for rock and roll superstar Tina Turner, who holds the record for the most concert tickets sold by a single performer.
00:36:21
Speaker
And she said... This must have been before Taylor Swift. Yeah, that must be pre-Aros to her. I believe, because this is from 2019, which, by the way, is too late for this book. I i thought this would be like 2016.
00:36:33
Speaker
x Anyway, she said, i believe that you'll just stand up and go. that if you i believe that if you'll just stand up and go, life will open up for you. Okay.
00:36:46
Speaker
Are you inspired? um I should get out of the house more. Stand up and go. Stand up, go. like said it i like weirdly Why are you even talking?
00:37:00
Speaker
ah All right. U is for Ursula K. Le Guin, prolific and prize winning science fiction author. And she said, we read books to find out who we are, what we ourselves are and may become.
00:37:18
Speaker
I do like that quote. I think her books are really boring. um Oh, okay. I've never tried to read them. No, i gave I gave it a shot once. And then after, Mike was like, yeah, i should have known that you wouldn't like it. I can't do science fiction. yeah Not for me. Ever?
00:37:36
Speaker
Really? i mean, i read i I read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when I was a teenager. Right. That might be it. I remember liking Asimov, but they also it was a long time ago.
00:37:50
Speaker
Yeah, yeah you don't you don't strike me as a sci-fi person either. no No. V is for Venus. Here we go. Roman goddess of love. Venus? Not even a person.
00:38:01
Speaker
cool hu This is actually the only one I really am on board with because, like, kids need to learn. really surprised. Wait, I didn't finish. I'm surprised they didn't do Victoria Beckham. Roman goddess of love, beauty, and victory. I mean, kids should learn about the myths. We have a lot of
Myths and Stories in Children's Literature
00:38:20
Speaker
books. Yeah.
00:38:22
Speaker
books about myths for kids. Like, it's important to know, you know, they should know, like, the Bible stories. They gotta, they gotta know all this stuff. I mean, Sisyphus used to terrify me when I was little. But that's good.
00:38:35
Speaker
so scary. That's, like, kids need to read. I books, yeah. I have the books my dad read me that I'm gonna read to him once he's ready for that.
00:38:46
Speaker
w is for Wu za tian the one and only female emperor in Chinese history. Oh, wow.
00:39:00
Speaker
I know nothing about Chinese history, I'm ashamed to say. Whoa. Look at this. Look at that. okay
00:39:12
Speaker
it's a mirror. It's a mirror for those of you not watching the video. X and y and z are for extraordinary, okay, which starts with an E, you and the zillions of brilliant, brave adventures you will have.
00:39:32
Speaker
The end. Okay. So it's definitely meant for girls. And this is written by Eva Chen. Yeah, this is only for girls. um So I'm glad I took this. I'm not giving it back to you, by the way.
00:39:46
Speaker
You can have that forever. I'm going to put it. I don't want to subject anyone to this. I have to throw it away. Should we burn it?
00:39:57
Speaker
thank
00:40:01
Speaker
No. Bring it. I can't. No. ah You can't. It's unbreakable. That's how fierce it is. I can't pull the pages out. No. I wanted to make a big deal about breaking but and is this it's impossible. unbreakable.
00:40:19
Speaker
Like the woman inside, unbreakable. You cannot be broken. Eva Chen, you got me. Derek Desierto. um who i hope ive hope I hope you've both moved on to better things. All right. Well, they moved on to lockdown right after it came out. i mean may ah admit They had a lot of time to reflect then.
00:40:44
Speaker
That's good. Yeah. I wonder if they made a boy version. Probably not. Yeah, right. Definitely not. We do have a book. We have a book. Maybe I'll read it on our next episode. That's called ABCs for Boys.
00:41:02
Speaker
Ooh. and it was Was it like consent for C? or like Is it what? Is C for consent?
00:41:13
Speaker
It's like a book that does actually seem to be for kids as opposed to a book for adults who want to feel good about themselves. Yeah. yeah ah Well, you did it.
00:41:27
Speaker
How do you feel? um You know, validated
00:41:34
Speaker
in my assumption about this book, but also validated in my womanhood.
00:41:43
Speaker
how do you think our How do you think our boys are doing together? um I think they're good. They're kids. I mean, like, you know, there's like some social dynamic stuff at play because you have an older and a younger.
00:41:57
Speaker
so I mean, basically, my kids like kind of looks up to your older kid. And sometimes I think he finds it annoying, maybe as you would, you know, older kid, younger kids.
00:42:09
Speaker
I remember wanting to be one of the older kids when I was a kid. I just couldn't wait to be an older kid because I had older siblings. Did you feel that way? yeah Yeah. Because you want to finally get some respect.
00:42:22
Speaker
Yeah. well but Yeah. But your kid is an only kid. So he doesn't have he's not a. youngest. He's just young. He's just younger five-year-old. Yeah, but I think he looks up to your oldest.
00:42:35
Speaker
And then, yeah, and then he just, ah I mean, god he got a bit territorial at our place when you guys came over at the beginning, but honestly, I think they were all just hungry, and after they ate, it was fine.
00:42:46
Speaker
Like, I think. Why? What do you think? No, and I told my, I mean, I keep trying to tell my five-year-old to not get so mad at babies.
00:43:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's a hard lesson. Well, they do things. I mean, my kid knocked your kid's food out of his hand when he was about to. Yeah, that was crazy. that can't feel good. as you know, he was like literally about to eat it um And I don't know, yeah, I think my kid was just he was confused about whose bowl was whose or I don't know what was going on there. But we need a better seating situation. I mean, it's also because we're not moved in here. So there couldn't be like your chair, his chair. Like, you know, we didn't have enough chairs.
00:43:36
Speaker
Nothing set up. Nothing's like set up that's conducive to personal space here yet. Yeah, we got to we got to start. We got to make things more predictable.
00:43:47
Speaker
and I think over time that will happen. because we will simply see each other wrong. Yeah, mean, I'm sure they'll still fight, because, like, they're kids. Kids fight. But they forget about it, know? It's just part of them learning. Like, actually, that's really important. That's what they're saying is bad about AI, is that it's frictionless. And, like, people learn to interact with each each other.
00:44:10
Speaker
Children learn through friction, and then how to deal with it. So it's, like, a huge part of learning, is them sometimes not getting along. Right, right. Which is also so why, yeah, we got not, we got to not hover.
Interfering in Children's Interactions
00:44:26
Speaker
i mean, I think we ignored them pretty well for a while. We're pretty good at that. It's hard, it's hard when you go, you know, when you're dealing with other, when you're dealing with other parents who do things differently, and maybe are a bit more.
00:44:40
Speaker
hovery and interfere-y, right? My instinct sometimes is to intervene. If I feel like my kid's doing the wrong thing, my instinct sometimes is to intervene.
00:44:54
Speaker
Well, i under no under three, I'm all for, I am all for interference. um Yeah. Like when they all wanted the same toy, like I took the toy with.
00:45:07
Speaker
What? Oh, if you don't if you don't like know the kid well that they're having a conflict with, then, yeah, it does feel like you're more inclined to – you would be more inclined to interfere because you don't know how yeah the parent feels. Deptitive they are, yeah But I also don't want to entirely feel like my kid is an extension of me and like representing me socially. Because like, because I see a lot of that going on.
00:45:40
Speaker
Right, he's his own person, then you know, and I'm the parent. So I, you know, like I'm there to parent him. But then it's a fine line, especially with someone you don't know that well.
00:45:51
Speaker
You get, I feel like embarrassed sometimes, you know, if my kid is like doing something Or I can see the other parent feeling embarrassed if their kid is doing something they think is like not representative of their values.
00:46:05
Speaker
But it's unbeatable. you have to pretend if that happens, you just have to pretend you don't know them. Your kid. The other parent? Oh, my kid? Yeah. Just be like, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
00:46:18
Speaker
Like you don't know your kid. and Yeah. but then you won't be a so Then you don't have to worry about um being associated. Oh, right, right. I've never met him before in my life. Yeah. Who is this? I don't and know, man. He just keeps following me around.
00:46:38
Speaker
See, I have another kid, so I can always be like, oh, I'm here with this kid. I don't know who this one is. yeah But I do intervene sometimes. I mean, I definitely intervene if he's going to hurt someone or if I see it. I mean, and then, yeah, sometimes like, yeah, that one toy that they both wanted, i took it away. then it was fine. Like sometimes you just need to remove an object. like Yeah, totally. um Which you can't do at the playground if someone else brought the object.
00:47:10
Speaker
See, that's the hard part because I'm like, I try to pull him away, but it's like a magnet. There's no there's no escaping unless you like leave the premises.
00:47:22
Speaker
Like, yeah. Although here he's been better with that, i think, is the playground's bigger. But in Brooklyn, it was like there's no escaping. Some of the right. Right. There's more room. you can distract him more easily.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yeah, there's more stuff to distract with. But you can't make other parents not bring stuff to the playground. So you have to find ways. It's really frustrating. So that's where we need the TSA.
00:47:48
Speaker
the playground. We don't bring to the playground. We don't bring scooters. No scooters. No flashy cars. No motorized cars or bikes or whatever. And I wonder, I don't i think i try to understand the impulse Like, it's just, I think it might be as simple as, like, it makes the kid happy. so why would i not bring them? They like to do it Whereas I'm, like, this just isn't, this is for, like, this is, like, a communal place. And it's, like, an opportunity to socialize and focus on other, like, playing with other kids. Yeah.
00:48:27
Speaker
right i blame the dads i blame the dads i think the dads want to bring a vehicle of some kind to and they're like we'll go play with this car like they go and they're like oh look at this cool car for my kid at costco or whatever we'll go play with it at the playground like they don't think that far ahead about yeah yeah yeah they're not thinking about how much conflict yeah No, they're thinking about the interpersonal, you know, what it's going to do to the social dynamics, like all the drama. They're just like, this car is cool. I want to play with it with my kids.
00:49:04
Speaker
And I think it's really that simple. So if anyone at the park is listening and you think we're talking about you, we are. Stop bringing your scooters to the playground. And I say that i say that enough to clear faces that it doesn't matter. Yeah.
00:49:21
Speaker
They will keep bringing them. But no, I think the scooters and stuff, it's like they they want their kids to walk faster with them. They want them to scoot down the road. So they bring them to practice the scooter, probably.
00:49:33
Speaker
Yeah. I assume it's the logic with the scooters. Yeah, I guess. I've never... like I mean, but learning to ride the bike seems like a skill that is important.
00:49:44
Speaker
And i want I want my kids to ride the bike. But this the scooting, they have they have such a like dead look in their eyes when they're doing it. um The scooting?
00:49:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:58
Speaker
That I don't know. I don't know. like I feel like it's like their way to escape. It might be like going on the swing. um Which I also don't love.
00:50:09
Speaker
The swings. I mean, kids love swings. i love swings too. i loved swings when I was little. But there are there are only two at our park and they fight over them all the time. Yeah.
00:50:22
Speaker
When I was little, i used to go on the swings and imagine that I was swinging on a swing up in the sky and it was hooked up to two stars. That was my fantasy on the swings.
00:50:35
Speaker
Oh, that's beautiful. but Yeah, it can be like an escape. Like sometimes I think the kids just want to go on the swings because they want to like escape for a minute. Yeah.
00:50:46
Speaker
But it's hard when other kids also want to. Everyone just wants to escape. no one wants to be there. and there just aren't enough so swings to accommodate.
00:50:59
Speaker
their desire to I haven't witnessed enough battling over the swings to really comment yet yeah yeah you will you will there was one time you know and I was just like well sometimes we have to wait I mean I feel like a broken record I say that all the time yeah sometimes you just have to wait for your turn and then you get a turn you just wait And are you saying that so that the kid hears them and like realizes that they're monitoring?
00:51:26
Speaker
No, no, I'm saying that for to my kid because i think he that I think he truly does not understand why he doesn't get to use it right away because he wants to. Right.
00:51:38
Speaker
Like I think it just literally does not click to him. will. Maybe because he's an only child. Yeah.
00:51:46
Speaker
But he's just like, I want it. I got it. Like not everything is only like maybe things will become more only childish as he gets older, but he's also just still two. Right.
00:51:59
Speaker
No, it's true. Why? What's only childish? What does that mean? Like, no, just like being like having like the classic things are like having trouble sharing or like not being the center of attention or whatever.
00:52:09
Speaker
But a lot of that is just true of any two year old, whether or not they have siblings. Right. I mean, the only children I know, it seems like or the feedback I've gotten is that like they just hung out a lot more with adults.
Children's Social Development
00:52:22
Speaker
So. And that's not. I mean, i read something once about like. Which made me think about my older child who ah loves talking to adults.
00:52:36
Speaker
a kid A kid being good at talking to adults doesn't mean they're smarter or more sophisticated than other kids. It's like the opposite because like it means that they don't know how to interact with their peers as much.
00:52:49
Speaker
And adults have to be extra nice. This is also apparently true of like women talking to men. like Women who have mostly male friends or whatever is because yeah a man is like always kind of like talking down to a woman or being nicer or not telling the truth as much.
00:53:05
Speaker
as you would with another man. And so it's important that women be able to get along with other women. And it's important that kids be able to get along with other kids because adults are like always going to be talking down to them. So it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean your kid is like brilliant. If they're, if they get along better with adults, it means they need help interacting with peers. Yeah.
00:53:26
Speaker
That's what I read. And I believe it's there I mean, what I heard about women hanging out with men, specifically like neurodivergent women, is that it's just easier because there's less um like my like subtag like social dynamic stuff going on. And it's like if you don't pick up on social things too much.
00:53:50
Speaker
Yeah, it's easier. It's just easier. Because I've definitely been someone who hung out a lot with dudes. I've always had female friends, but like I've also hung out a lot with groups of dudes, which was very honestly pretty toxic.
00:54:03
Speaker
But I think there was something about it that was relaxing on that level. But it's just like, get what you see, you know, like there's no extra mental. Yeah, totally. More direct.
00:54:14
Speaker
You can like risk. Yeah. No, you can say mean things to a man that you're hanging out with and he'll think it's funny or, or latin you know, even if he's just laughing just to appease you because men do that.
00:54:27
Speaker
But a woman might, like, get upset about it but not make it obvious and then you're, like, wondering later if they're mad at you. Yeah, you have to guess if you said the wrong thing or not. Yeah.
00:54:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's like scarier because women won't, women also always just often want to just be nice, even if something upset them. Right, yeah. I mean, the solution is obviously for women to be more like men, right?
00:54:55
Speaker
Fearless. Be fearless.
00:54:59
Speaker
Be fierce. Wear blazers. Fearless. courageous. Be courageous.
00:55:10
Speaker
Don't dress like anybody else. Learn from your mistakes. Fight for the things care about. And you be your extraordinary self.