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(Bad at Playing) Soccer Moms
14 Plays1 day ago
Rena and Paige discuss their mutual distaste for toys at the playground, snacks at the playground, and not running around at the playground.
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Transcript
Facing Doubts in Podcasting
00:00:05
Speaker
We had an hour of silence right now. Just before we hit record, we both said we don't have anything to talk about. yet here we are. We've had some comments say like, not everyone should have a podcast. They are right. Too bad they can't control us and they have no choice. Women can't be stopped.
00:00:27
Speaker
yeah That is the way in which we are feminists because we are simply going to persist in doing Whatever it is. Podcasts. What dudes do. Yeah. Podcasts are for dudes, but not anymore.
00:00:38
Speaker
Not after these two girl bosses. So everyone who thinks I've been a bad feminist lately. Who thinks that? Oh. Did somebody say something?
Disneyland's Influence on Feminism
00:00:47
Speaker
I mean, you know. I can't talk about it. Because you're a trad wife? Yeah. Wait, but you went Disneyland. That's a boy day. Boy mom related.
00:00:57
Speaker
Yeah. Taking them to an amusement park? That's like. Which and I don't usually do a lot of like kid things. kid-centric things. and we I mean, weirdly we go to the playground all the time. Right. But in terms of like intense kid activities. Like marketed to Right. Where it's like every man for himself, you're only focused on the people you came with. Yeah. Sort of.
00:01:21
Speaker
ah experience. we don't We don't do a lot of that, but we love we love Disneyland. I mean, i've always I was like a little Disney adult. Oh, you were? But I was like a 22-year-old. And I feel like- that Actually, that tracks with everything I know about you.
00:01:34
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But what do you mean? The Hillary Duff love. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah I was a little Disney kid. I became a Disney teen and- A Disney adult. Disney adult. But at least now I have- the kids to bring to to just is that why you had kids just by loving disney ah maybe it was much to ponder yeah um so that and they they love it and they i mean we're just we're very lucky we get to go yeah for free right you have like a special and yeah and we go with like beloved friends it's a dream situation yeah um
00:02:11
Speaker
But what was it
A Family Trip to Disneyland
00:02:12
Speaker
like? Was it was it a smooth day? to Tell me start to finish. Well, we didn't. read it Okay. You know we're not really stroller people. Right. But at Disneyland, we usually like to bring it for naps.
00:02:25
Speaker
Yeah. But we just forgot it So we just didn't. We didn't have no no and of the stroller. Zero nap or what happened? So it ended up being zero nap. I was advocating for renting one of those strollers. Oh, yeah.
00:02:37
Speaker
And doing doing a little nap. um But it just became – it became clear that we were going leave on the earlier side anyway. I see. So we ended up leaving – like we were at the car by 6.30.
00:02:53
Speaker
Well, that's – how do you last longer than 6.30? I mean like that's already a big day. No, it's always a mistake when when when we go beyond that. Like when we're getting home from Disneyland at like 9.30, it's bad. Like I'm so so tired. and You're so like – I'm tired. Yeah. And then I can't sleep because I'm so – overstimulated. Right, yeah. Aren't the kids just crazy at that point? Well, the kids, I mean, they fell asleep immediately. the car. Oh, no. Before, like, 6.50. No, but then they just went to their beds. They did? So we said we have to go to Disneyland every day because that was the way to get them to go to sleep. Wait, they went from sleeping in the car to sleeping in the Yes, that's how tired they were. That's crazy.
Fashion at Disneyland and American Culture
00:03:32
Speaker
Both of them. He's never done that. Both of them. I've never had that. I the older child sleeps very deeply.
00:03:38
Speaker
um So you just carried But he's just awkward. he's hard i was I told my husband, like, you have to get him out and put him up on the bunk bed. So that so he he did it. And then I took i took the younger one and put him in our bed.
00:03:51
Speaker
and he, I don't, i I did a little transitional milky just in case, but I probably didn't even need to. He was so out. Wow. but but So no nap in a way. Yeah, just outdoors all day running around. But even ah when he does nap at Disneyland, it's like,
00:04:08
Speaker
30 minutes to an hour like at the most nap long in the stroller yeah yeah no no no no but they went they went crazy it was all because of the there's like this area at california adventure where you've never gone and never been where it's just like a huge playground oh so it's not you know because you need to do that so you're not just standing in line or sitting on the right you got it you got to run around and so they're just going up and down going on the slides climbing on the ropes going insane so i think that is what That's what knocked them out. It's like a new, big, crazy playground. Yes. Yes. they And also that they're probably so overstimulated, they need to like get all the energy Yeah, exactly. and our Kids need to do that. They have that. And then at Toontown, there is also... We didn't go to Toontown this visit for once, but there's also playground there. But the California Adventure one is a lot more spacious and like fewer people. Oh, okay.
00:04:56
Speaker
And did you have any... Interactions with other children or parents? of No, you never do. you just don't say anything. You're just not. Yeah, it's like you're not there to make friends. They're your competition. like They're going to get in line before you. Capitalism. you don't really. did we?
00:05:14
Speaker
I mean, our kids were so. We did put them in like their red overalls. Okay. so They were on theme. Yeah. They were like getting a little more intention because, you know, everyone, I always have like a crisis when we first get to Disneyland because of the clothes people are wearing and just how, I just
Disneyland's Value vs. Real Places
00:05:32
Speaker
get very depressed. I'm like, I'm like hit hard by America. Oh, because they're wearing like sweatpants? They dress like me. and just Yeah. It's just like you everywhere you look. Yeah. They're just like wearing t-shirts. Just like rat like shirts that say like, what's, I mean. Go away.
00:05:48
Speaker
What do they say? Just like, you know, a lot of like, I'm fluent in sarcasm. Like a lot of that kind of shirt that really just brings me down. And they're just everywhere you look. So you're just like America, America's horrible. You have a crisis. It hits me hard when I first get there and I have to like get used to it. It's people not from LA. Yeah.
00:06:07
Speaker
Right. Yeah. No. It's sort of like when I go to Arizona and I'm just like. i remember. Yeah. When I went to Alabama with my husband and we went to a Golden Corral and ah I was just like, wow, T-shirts, T-shirts, T-shirts are what everyone, wear which like, I guess makes sense, but it seems so much like, I guess everywhere you go in America, there's kind of a uniform.
00:06:34
Speaker
Like, ah like Portland, they're all wearing these like jacket vests. I don't know. There's just things that you're like, yeah, that's what people wear in that area. But then in a lot of America, it's just, it's just intensely like t-shirts from Walmart.
00:06:48
Speaker
Like, yeah, you're just in sweatpants and athleisure. Yeah.
00:06:53
Speaker
But oh what I was going to say is that the kids are just a little bit cuter. Like they're not just wearing some generic Star Wars shirt. Right. It's a big day. It's like yeah they're wearing their overalls. Like I want them to look fun, like fun kids, not just, you know. They're dressed up for the moment. yeah It's a big day. Not just pictures or clothes that have pictures of the characters. Right. oh Maybe they just can't afford anything else. Yeah.
00:07:19
Speaker
No, but but they're buying they're buying... I mean, surely that's true. But they're also, they're paying to Disneyland. Which is crazy. Some people who are like no money save up their whole lives to go to Disneyland. What do you think about that? Is it worth it? No, not now. No, no, no.
00:07:35
Speaker
It's changed. No, I am, and I'm like... You could just pay to go to a real place. I mean, I'm kind of anti-travel just in general lately. but oh interesting. You could just go to an actual place. And I'm also like, we literally live in the neighborhood that inspired Disneyland. Like the Griffith Observatory is Tomorrowland. The little Ferndale Nature Trail, that's Adventureland.
00:08:01
Speaker
The trains, the merry-go-round. mean, you get in for free. And I love it. I do love it. So, well, yeah, you're at Disney. And the Dole Whip. They love the Dole Whip. Oh, and the genius thing. So, you know how we we've been so anti-sugar lately?
00:08:13
Speaker
Because it makes them psycho. Oh, right. It makes them psycho. yeah yeah but Yeah. we did Dole Whip. That was like the last thing we did in the day. which is that? And I was like, it's it's like frozen pineapple dessert. It's like an ice cream. It's like soft serve texture. Okay. And it's made from fruit, but it's very sugary. Sugar.
00:08:32
Speaker
But I was like, this isn't, at the end of the day, it's not going to stop them from going to sleep. No. So it's like the shit that all happened while they were sleeping. It's great. So that's the way to do it. Even though it did make them like beg for it all day because they knew it was coming. So that can be a little annoying. and But saving it for the end was a good way to avoid any craziness. Yes. Okay.
00:08:53
Speaker
So that's a good that's a good tip. If you're going to give your kids sugar at Disneyland, wait until the end. there You know, we watched Cinderella on Sunday. i like I find Cinderella so beautiful. It was amazing. It's gorgeous. We're not supposed to talk about this on the podcast.
Cinderella: Grimm vs. Disney
00:09:07
Speaker
But it's about my boys, my boy children. watching cinderella cinderella i find it so beautiful like when she's singing and she's in all the bubbles like oh yeah no i was mike is mike was annoyed by he was like this was a blu-ray version and it looked flat the colors look flat like he was very disappointed and i thought it great. The deep blues. It's all about the deep blue colors. That's true. You know, her dress didn't seem blue enough.
00:09:33
Speaker
e It looked a little white. So maybe that's what it was hard it's always between like blue and white and gray. Like it's like that. ambigu Maybe it was too white. Maybe. yeah Oh yeah. But they loved it. They loved the little mice.
00:09:49
Speaker
It's just so such a clear story. and Exactly. yeah Simple. Straightforward. Yes. Without all the you know the stupid little bantery dialogue. that's they Yeah, and you don't need all these add-ons to the basic story. Exactly. it that you I find it gets too complicated nowadays. Yeah.
00:10:08
Speaker
Oh, we did read, we read the Grimm's fairy tale version the way to Disneyland the next day. Wait, what's the Grimm's something bad happens from? Well, they make it so... she trapped in a pumpkin for So the sisters literally cut off parts of their feet to fit in. So they're... God.
00:10:25
Speaker
They put the shoe on, on their blood covered foot. And then they're being whisked away by the prince. And then the prince is like, your foot is covered in blood. And he turns the carriage around is like, you're obviously not.
00:10:38
Speaker
Oh my God. You're not the girl I'm looking for. They cut their feet off. One of them cuts their heel off. One of them cuts their toe off to fit into the slipper. And then at the end, ah the sister's,
00:10:52
Speaker
walk alongside Cinderella when she's getting married because they still want to benefit financially. Of course. And then the birds peck their eyes out.
00:11:02
Speaker
So on both both eyes. You read this to your kids? Yeah. And? had Any reaction or no? yeah I don't know how much. Went in? He could hear because we were in the car. you were reading quietly when it was. I was reading pretty loud. I was reading as loud as I could. Hmm.
00:11:19
Speaker
to make sure it really got in there. But, and I even said, I was like, did you hear that part? They pecked out her eyes because she, because they were mean. and because I want it to be clear, like bad things happen when you're not nice. Yeah.
00:11:34
Speaker
That's how they learn that from stories. That's why they got to hear the bad parts. Hmm. But, well, but our society, unfortunately does not function that way. but Do you cut out the bad parts? but No. If we read these stories. If he gets scared and he's like, I don't want to see this. I'll You know what? We tried watching ants. Or was it ant? No, Bugs Life.
00:11:53
Speaker
And we had to stop. Because at the beginning, the big bad insect takes a baby. is like, what happened to the baby? And he was like crying and he was so worried about the baby. And i was like, the baby's okay. See, he gives the baby back. And I was like, maybe we're not ready for Bugs Life. Okay, wow. Because that was, I guess babies is where he draws the line, which is very cute. that's fair Don't tell him about the Amber Alerts.
00:12:14
Speaker
I won't. No, of course not. no Don't be like me telling their kids. child. A child was recently kidnapped. So what were you what were you doing while we were at Disney?
00:12:28
Speaker
When was that? That was Monday. Monday? was on your normal desk for it to see me. It was an incredible day at the playground. Really? not going to lie. Wait, what happened? It was very idyllic. And some people came who were never there. Yeah, it was perfect. Do you think it's because we weren't there? Maybe. Yeah.
00:12:48
Speaker
I was like, oh, I've never had this much fun socializing. Oh my God. I got to know more off sales money. Off Yeah, saw people, one person who didn't realize I'd moved back into town. it was just, I just remember feeling like this was great. Like he had so much fun.
00:13:05
Speaker
I think he's also like trying to prove himself that he can like communicate with older kids when he's with them. He's trying to keep up. He's like, here, I can close that Tupperware. They always have So many snacks. No, the snacks at the playground. It's crazy. No, I'm, I'm, it's, I mean, it's like, It's like a restaurant. Like, you have to understand, it's like a lunchbox of, like, different tiers of right squares of different types of food. No, how do they even have time to make all these snacks?
00:13:29
Speaker
I don't know who's doing And, cut everything. Are they, I mean... Who's doing it? I wouldn't want it. Because we have breakfast, but then we also do second breakfast before we leave so that they're not hungry at the park. But then when other people have snacks, all they want to do is eat their snacks. Yeah, they want the snacks. Maybe it's to avoid making lunch. I just really, to me, it's so important as a mother of boys. That my children run around the playground as much as
Parenting Styles and Playgrounds
00:13:58
Speaker
possible. That they're not just sitting underneath the playground eating snacks the whole time. They need to run around. They need to go crazy. But there's always a moment where where everyone everyone's running. But I want it to be two hours. I know. I know. Yeah, my husband's better at that than me. I don't feel like chasing him around.
00:14:17
Speaker
Oh, he also, when one of the kids was sad and they were up on the play thing, he like gave them a little kiss and everybody saw. And everyone was like, oh. Yeah, it was very cute. Some people get freaked out by that. No, yeah. There's one person who keeps me like, your kid is very physical.
00:14:31
Speaker
All right. I mean, like, he knows that when someone's hurt, a kiss makes it better. I think that's why he did that, you know. Did he offer them water too? No, he didn't offer water, but sometimes he does that. eat thirsty, was there, yeah. Was it halt? angry angry lonely tired whatever what it's like why someone's being uh upset you've never heard that no oh it's like a is this a tiktok thing no you know i don't know where i first heard it halt yeah hungry angry lonely tired i don't know what does that mean what i don't know it's like why you would be upset like
00:15:07
Speaker
Well, sure, if you're angry, you'd be upset. Hang on. Now that I think of it, it actually makes zero sense. Yeah, don't know. Maybe it's why you would do something unhealthy. I would understand if it were about being hungry or tired. Yeah, see, those make Those the explanations of being angry or sad. Right, angry lonely. Yeah, I don't know about angry or lonely.
00:15:28
Speaker
Lonely, like they need connection? Maybe, yeah. Angry, maybe they need to like tell you why they're mad. I don't know where I heard this or where it's coming from, but.
00:15:39
Speaker
These things, you know, the way. Maybe. And also is the last one tired or thirsty? i mean, it's just tea. Maybe I got it wrong. I feel like hungry and thirsty should be in the same. They're in the same category. Yeah.
00:15:51
Speaker
Although my mom would always say, you're not hungry. You're just thirsty. This is an almond bomb. Have some water. Oh, one thing about the play the snack thing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:04
Speaker
I against – I don't like the the the parents who interfere with the children's play. It drives me crazy if a kid is happily playing with another kid.
00:16:14
Speaker
yeah And then the parents suddenly – and they're playing nicely. There's not no signs of halt. yeah Yes. Yes. Yeah. anger whatever and then all of a sudden the parent is like do you want a snack yes and i'm like they're playing right now it ruins everything why why and then the other kid wants a snack and then the whole thing's out the window and no one is playing anymore no i know they're just having snacks the interfering whenever what is it hate the interview i heard when i was when he was really little somebody said Don't try to make a happy baby happier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just leave alone. Yeah, don't stop what they're doing. Yes, yeah. let them stare at the seashell whatever. don't need improvement. Yeah, yeah. And I see a lot of that, I think, more maybe more in New York where people would be like, you could play with the toy this way. you know, it's like, just leave them a alone.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah. they yeah why do they need to figure out they need to learn to figure it out well because you get in little kid mode and you're like well i would play with it this way and you want to like do it the way you would play whatever yeah i don't know what it is but but yeah it's always it's never a good idea it never improves the situation and they never want to play with it your way right and you're gonna be doing it wrong like whenever my older child tries to get me to like play pretend I always do it wrong. I'm not in that phase yet. Well, isn't part of that just being able to boss you around? It's just like, no, mama, you're this character. Right. That's his way of control. Maybe. I don't know. It's like the one opportunity. Well, then I'm not going to do it even more. There you go. He can't control you.
00:17:46
Speaker
What can we control? We give him options. He's learned the word options recently. Oh, options can be that way. Because I've been like, those are the options, not that other thing. You know, the option between this or that.
00:17:58
Speaker
Okay. And you're laying, laying all. He's like options. Yeah. He's learned options and we taught him also, well, you're not going to want to talk about this on the podcast, but we taught him private parts. Okay. Yeah. like the Like just the phrase private parts? Yeah, and that nobody else can touch anybody else's private parts. Like we're trying to like establish some boundaries that because he's constantly kicking my husband in the nards. He knows the word nards, which is bad. Would you say that's a word? No, but my husband's always like, oh, my nards. And now he knows nards. It's so bad. I know. It's not good.
00:18:32
Speaker
He's going to learn to speak in ethic millennial vernacular. I know. He'll be like, what is it? The doggo? or Oh, doggo. He's going to say doggo. don't even like kiddos. don't like kiddos.
00:18:45
Speaker
What else can I say? So all you've told me so far is you had a wonderful time without me. What did you do in the afternoon on Monday?
00:18:53
Speaker
I remember afternoon being a challenge, but I don't remember what we did. What did we do?
00:19:04
Speaker
We might have watched movies. Nope. Can't. Oh, we can't talk about that. Don't even say the word.
00:19:12
Speaker
um Sometimes I have friends visit in the afternoon. oh we went on a little walk with my friend in the neighborhood. Okay. um How are your... how are your childless, if we're allowed to say that word. Child-free. Child-free. No, because child-free, well, wait, isn't child-free like you're choosing, like, I don't have kids. I'm child-free. free. i pick the child-free life. Right. Whereas childless is just saying you don't currently have a child, but it doesn't mean you're choosing that forever.
00:19:41
Speaker
you're not supposed to say the word less, right? Because it means you're less. But really, that's just how language works. Friends who don't have kids. Friends who don't have kids. I mean, is that, have chosen? So how are your friends who don't have kids with your kid and like they're cute I mean it's great mean I guess they don't understand potentially don't understand things about scheduling but other than that like or maybe why I don't want to bring them certain places oh like where well there was one friend in in New York who was like come over to our place but I'm like I know you have a lot of nice stuff in your place and like I don't want him coming in and just
00:20:17
Speaker
shattering everything or you're spending a whole time just on edge yeah just worried like i'm like i don't need to go into your nice adult apartment right now with my two-year-old
00:20:31
Speaker
so i just refrain and and and it might not make sense in the moment and i don't think i I remember before I had kids being like, why does the nap matter so much? You know, you have to schedule around the nap. And now I'm like, oh, no, it's very important. yeah Right. Because it determines the rest of your day. determines the you're going to be miserable. Yes. You and your kid. Yeah. Both of you. No, it's extremely.
00:20:56
Speaker
you need First of all, you need a second of them being asleep. I don't know. Okay. I don't think you have this, but maybe you do. But I have part of my brain that is completely dormant until he goes to sleep. That I like can't access while he's awake.
Children's Bedtime Strategies
00:21:11
Speaker
I've gotten. Okay. That's gotten better for me. And I feel like I can relate to that. But gotten It's like there's energy that resumes once he's asleep. Yeah. I mean I'm certainly relieved.
00:21:23
Speaker
Yeah. In a lot of ways. When they finally. Because i have to get two of them to go to sleep. Like imagine double it's a large feat. I don't know how you do it. No. don't know how you do it. Last night they were both on either side of me.
00:21:36
Speaker
in the bed falling asleep the same time. whoa and i was just But it was also the best feeling in the world. right i was just like ah And they're out. When it works, it's great. And then I have to untangle their limbs from around me.
00:21:51
Speaker
It took him a long, it took ah at least an hour for him to go to sleep last night of us being like, no, it's sleep time. Also, we've given him his own bed now. So it's like, and we let him practice. He's not really ready to sleep in it yet.
00:22:05
Speaker
But sometimes he wants to practice going to sleep and us saying goodnight, you know. But then at a certain point, we're like, okay, we're done practicing. Like, you'll be back that bed. Because it's not – it's not working. He's not actually going to sleep. He's not actually go to sleep bed. It's just a reason to stay awake, you know. Right. So right now he's using it as a – Yeah.
00:22:22
Speaker
So we let him practice like maybe one, two times at a certain point. but I just – but then it's like you get in your head. You're like, am I trapping him in my bed? But I need him to go to sleep, you know. Well, could you – and could you do – milky in that bed i don't want to it's just it's a single bed yeah and there's like a thing to block him from falling off so it's like not comfortable yeah yeah no no no compared to the king then but he falls asleep with that like i i give him milky but he falls asleep afterwards now not on not always on not always yeah sometimes he just wants to chat a bit and then get comfortable
00:23:01
Speaker
And then at a certain point, yeah, I always, when he's quiet, I count backwards in my head from a hundred. And if I get all the way down to one without him talking, I'm like, okay, this is. Well, what about, let's talk about them being physical with other kids. I mean.
00:23:15
Speaker
Oh yeah, you were, cause you, okay. Yeah, cause I had that one interaction. You've been told that your child is very physical. Also, yeah, he was like, him and another boy were hitting a kid.
00:23:27
Speaker
And then I was like, use gentle hands. And then the other parent was like, or maybe just don't touch him at all. it was like, but yeah, okay. But are going to want to touch. And all of the kids were boys in this scenario, right? Right. Yes, they were.
00:23:41
Speaker
Like boys, that's just like what they like to do. And then you have to, I feel, I feel like it's more productive to remind them be careful. Yeah. Yeah. It is to abstain completely. i mean, abstaining completely. i mean, how much learning comes from them touching each other? i mean, I just don't know anything about the research. Like must they touch?
00:24:03
Speaker
That's what they do. Yeah, they're supposed be like wrestling wrestling. You're supposed to have like six brothers to wrestle with. Like that is what we're I think we're set up for that. But what is that training you for? Like fighting?
00:24:15
Speaker
This because, okay, maybe you didn't read my Substack post about this. I didn't, I should. But like boys were not meant for this world.
00:24:25
Speaker
the mo girl The modern No, yeah, they're supposed to be like wrestling for their food and like wrestling animals to get their food and like they need to be very like their usefulness is being strong and fast and then what what purpose does that serve now that's why everyone puts their kids in soccer it's all like control physically yeah because you need to get your energy out right or gymnastics Yeah. Whatever, whatever, like gets their energy out. Yeah. It's them running and running and running. Yeah. um
00:24:57
Speaker
But now, you know, you're just supposed to sit out at that. You go to school, sit at desk or like men like go to their job and they sit at a desk and they're not doing what their bodies are meant
Physical Activity for Boys
00:25:06
Speaker
to do. Right. causes a lot of problems. Yeah. Or if they're working in a factory, they're doing like the same motion over and over, which is horrible too. no Yeah.
00:25:15
Speaker
that's just going to mess up their body. Right. I mean, the industrial revolution definitely ruined a lot of it. Yeah. No. no Totally. Yeah. So that's why now the boys are supposed to be extremely physical.
00:25:26
Speaker
And all the ADHD, all of that is because they're doing things they're not meant to do. Right. We're not supposed to be sitting all day. Sitting there doing worksheets. Like that's not what our bodies were made for. Right. But then if you listen to your body, how do you function in this world? Unless you become a professional wrestler.
00:25:43
Speaker
That might be the secret. Might be the only route for our children. boom I don't know. feel like my younger child. Or dancers maybe? Yeah. Your older child could get into performing. Yeah. yeah And the second one, maybe he could be a little more athletic.
00:26:00
Speaker
I could see him doing lots of things. Yours could be a professional wrestler. Like tomorrow. Okay? runs. I mean, his father ran track apparently. so Really? Yeah.
00:26:10
Speaker
So he could run track maybe. I was never, obviously. i mean, I'm good at dance. I'm good at like the girly stuff. Like, but not, I mean, like I was, I played soccer, but because I think my mom just signed me up. That's what you do. You just sign your kids up for soccer. That's what everyone does. Yeah. But I was defense. I'm, you know, so I was good at defense, but nobody cares about the person doing defense. Like,
00:26:34
Speaker
I mean, the whole soccer thing. So that is what everyone does to get their kids running around. specifically? And like teamwork. Yeah, you're supposed to teach them teamwork. Right, and less head injuries football. It becomes such thing, though.
00:26:46
Speaker
Oh, the soccer? soccer thing. and The clubs and then the kind of free practices and games all weekend. It gave me a complex, too, because I was like, i am I am no match for the people that are actually athletically inclined on my team. Like, I was not a star. like i like i like ranked myself.
00:27:04
Speaker
pretty early on of like, I'm not a star at this and I can i can't be. And then it was just, that was it with sports for me. Like was like, I'm not good at sports. If you continue to do it. Like I just kept playing sports I was bad at And it was probably really bad for my confidence. Yeah, it was bad for my confidence. It was bad for my confidence. Yeah, and it gets in your head. Because the stars get really celebrated. The forwards. The forwards get all the attention because they score the goals. But it's like, hello, I block the goals. I block the other team's goals. No, you're just as important. Yeah.
00:27:38
Speaker
But it's not treated that way. Yeah, and then you just feel bad all time. yes feel bad yeah i felt bad playing every except for the goalie gets a little bit of attention the halfbacks really are the ones that pay the price like i don't even as you know more than i have to go they have to do defense and forward and they get no glory like they feel like pass the forwards to score so it's just nobody cares and they're running around the that's the that's the position you want your kids to be in if you want them running around the whole time Because they have to go halfback. Halfback. Oh, you've got to do You've got to do forward. You've got to defense. Of course, the names might be different in the United States. I don't think either of them are inclined.
00:28:14
Speaker
They're good at climbing. They are good at climbing. Yeah, that's true. Thank you for constantly bringing up what good climbers my children are. They're a great climber. I mean, my kid's not as good at climbing. I mean, he climbs. He doesn't climb that spider webby thing. we're very – I mean, I'm very life. So I think it's about being – Yeah, maybe. I think I'm also more anxious and he knows I'd freak out. Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:36
Speaker
Well, and then, like we said, yeah, my kid fell through the ropes. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. The rom letting him as get injured. Yeah. Well, but he was fine. Yeah, he was fine. So let your kids get a little bit hurt.
00:28:48
Speaker
So you're for like like intense physical contact with the outside world. Well, and it should be just like unstructured. It's hard. I think you still have to guide them. Yeah.
00:28:59
Speaker
um And i tell them what's okay. I mean, if he's... the most Most of the intervention I do is when he's trying to snatch a toy from someone else, which he does a lot. Yeah. And then I have to give it back because I'm like, we don't just snatch the toy. And let us say in unison, stop bringing toys to the playground, Paige. Oh, the walkie-talkies.
00:29:21
Speaker
One incident of walkie-talkies. No, it's really it's really no fun for anyone. The scooters. Oh, God. The scooters. Bubble machines. It's like im on the fence. parent is controlling the machine the bubble machine and they're strict about it, they're just like, I'm holding this. You go pop the bubbles. Yes. I think that's okay. But then eventually everyone takes turns with the machine. Yeah. That's why you got it you know you got to hold on to the bubble machine. Yeah. Then it can be okay. And it's very cute. It is cute. I a lot of pictures of the kids with the bubbles. very sweet. Well, stickers sometimes are okay. So, yeah, it hasn't really been a problem out stickers. No, everybody gets a sticker and it's fine. yeah Yeah, yeah. I think that's – Those are okay.
00:30:05
Speaker
And then that's it. Yeah, okay. Listen, we have very specific guidelines that must be followed. They mess the with the boy moms – or release the boy moms, like, never do this, only do this, I guess, at some point. But, ah yeah, so i intervene with toys. And then I intervene, obviously, because, like, hitting someone. Yeah. Or, like, pushing someone out of the way to do something. I'll stop him.
00:30:27
Speaker
And say, wait, your turn. um And then that's it. Otherwise, I don't really. Like if he's being gentle. in the are all there was sometimes when he gives hugs. Like I'll give one hug.
00:30:39
Speaker
Kid seems okay. But if it's like more hugs, I'm like they don't they don't really seem like they want more hugs. You know, and I'll stop them. Okay. So that's how you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like look at their. Yeah. So look at their body language. They're closed off. Like they're not seeing. Probably responding. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:55
Speaker
So, which probably they've noticed and they're just experimenting with what happens if I do Right, boundaries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but I do point that out. I think it's mostly for that other kid's parents benefit for me being like, I'm validating that this other kid doesn't want to hug right now. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not really. You know, because usually the parent is right there and is like, yeah.
00:31:17
Speaker
But then I don't know. Yeah. I mean, if parents, if the other parents don't communicate that they don't want your kid doing something, then there's no, it's like, it's this uncomfortable guessing place. Right. How do you know how they feel? Right. I think that other kid looks okay with this hug.
00:31:34
Speaker
Their parents not saying anything. Right. But deep down the parents could be seething.
ADHD and Modern Life
00:31:38
Speaker
Right. I feel mild tension because there's this question mark and, and I am not always great at reading other people. Sometimes I am good and sometimes I'm bad. Like I think as maybe we all are like, because sometimes I'm hypervigilant and sometimes I'm completely tuned out to other people. So it's like you can catch me at the wrong moments and I won't notice how someone else is feeling at all. What disorder is this? um What do you have? It's ADHD. Where you were really, you were either very in tune and very aware or just totally checked Completely checked out, I shouldn't talk about it so much because people don't respect that it's real. Yeah.
00:32:20
Speaker
But it's fine. We don't have to work together. So it doesn't matter. I mean, aside from the podcast, but. ah Yeah. How's it, how's your ADHD impacted our. I mean, I think positively. I think you, and I, but I think you're.
00:32:34
Speaker
Yeah. We've, we've maintained like a bit of a schedule. Yeah. Pretty good. And you, oh, and i also just don't pay any attention to whatever you do. Oh, on social media. Yeah. It's not bad. I'm not bad.
00:32:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not like a, probably a normal person would have that all scheduled out and organized, but I did more random, but. Okay. I don't think it matters. gets done. I'm not looking at it.
00:32:57
Speaker
It gets done. yeah I mean, social media is kind of built for someone with ADD because this is all dopamine. It's like fun for someone with ADHD. I see. Okay. Okay.
00:33:09
Speaker
It's not healthy. Yeah, it's bad. It's not good. It's not good for me. It's feeding. Yeah, it's making the problem worse. I mean, and we're not getting a lot of likes. There is honestly no point in doing any of it Honestly, it's like five people every time liking any of our content. Is it worth it? But some of them are new. I don't know why we're doing it. don't know how many of them translate to actual listeners. But probably somebody – well, let's say if we take the ADHD out of it, probably somebody more organized would –
00:33:39
Speaker
Like have some kind of information somehow of like, do people who see us on social media translate to actual listeners? But I have no idea. Do we, how do we, yeah. How would we even know that? I don't know. There's probably a way.
00:33:53
Speaker
There, there is a thing that says clicks on links and you can see if people click on your links. And is there a link in the bio? Yeah. There's two links in the bio. Okay. It's to the Spotify and the Apple.
00:34:06
Speaker
Oh, but we don't know people are clicking this. It'll say in the stats, but it's like, how honest is Meta going don't know why we're doing any of them. The social media? The social media? Well, it's to get strangers to know about the podcast.
00:34:20
Speaker
Like... which And then maybe one out of 100 would listen. Would listen. But it's like, but every listener is very valuable right now. you hear that? You're very valuable to us because we have like 15. So it's like one more is like a huge jump in percentage. And every single one, if you tell your friends about it, it would be exponential growth. We just want to connect. We're doing this because we want to connect with people. No, we're doing this because we don't want to get a real job.
00:34:48
Speaker
But also, we're not making any money from us No, of course not. So.
Podcast Purpose: Authenticity and Relatability
00:34:53
Speaker
Yet. Well. Yeah, maybe one Maybe one day. No, we're doing it. Why are we doing it? We're doing it fun. Because that we haven't heard voices like ours.
00:35:04
Speaker
Yes. you know, we're making. Yeah, we're being the change. Yeah. Yeah. Because I look pretty hard for content that's va relatable. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't heard of a podcast like this where it's like the gory truth.
00:35:18
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:21
Speaker
I always think it's bad and then I listen and I'm like, no, it's great. Oh, you know, I think I've listened to our podcast before and I thought it was bad. And then I listened to it sped up and then I thought it was brilliant. See, that's ADD. That's like, I'm like, I'm not hearing it fast enough. That's for ADHD. If you have ADHD out there, if you play things at double the speed, you will intake the information much better.
00:35:46
Speaker
Do you think your child has ADHD? I don't know. We'll see. He's too young to know. He's too young to know. I mean, like, if if it's true that it's genetic, then odds are not in his favor.
00:35:59
Speaker
But it's just, I don't know, I'm not an expert, you know? Like, I have no idea. Yeah, I don't even know how, how. mean, he started, he started spinning. Age got diagnosed. Like, spinning, you know, spinning around a lot. Spinning in circles? Yeah.
00:36:14
Speaker
That's like a toddler. Yeah. He's two-year-old, right? Yeah, he's lot. Do you do that? It's just normal. Do you like to spin around in circles? I used to do it a lot. But you do you do it still? I would. i mean, I don't do drugs anymore. Maybe I should just spin around. Do you find, and this seems common among mothers I've talked to, you get a lot dizzier, a lot more quickly than you used to?
00:36:37
Speaker
Yeah, but I thought that was my physical problems. No, i like can't I can't spin around. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like rides and stuff, I get much more scared. Or even just, that you know, like kids like to be spun around.
00:36:49
Speaker
Yes, yeah. And I can go around one time. Well, what helps is if you spin the other way after. Just go back and forth. I learned that in dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In ballet, that's how you spin the other way after. But you could also do spotting. Like in ballet, you pick a spot on the wall and then you whip your head around and look back at it.
00:37:07
Speaker
That's how they turn. You know, you always see their face and then their face like whips around you after the body. That helps with dizziness. But no, I told you one of my first symptoms that I knew I was pregnant was vertigo.
00:37:19
Speaker
Oh. Yeah. Or I was like, oh, my I was like falling towards like the side. Like everything was really wonky. And I was like, something's wrong. But I thought that was just because i have something's wrong with me. i'll be rooting I'll be rooting for that to happen again. oh boy. You and my body. My body definitely wants me to procreate again. and it's up it's upset right now that I didn't.
00:37:42
Speaker
I'll tell you that. Yeah, that's why you feel the way you feel right now. It sucks. You're not doing what you're supposed doing. I'm mourning the child we didn't make. It feels horrible. It's dark. It gets dark over here. Yeah.
00:37:55
Speaker
For sure. We're meant to just keep going. But is it good? Where do we put them? Would it be good for him? i mean for For your kid? or your Well, if we if we already feel overloaded with one, would it be good for us to have another one? i don't know.
00:38:10
Speaker
Maybe it would be the solution. A child is always a solution to a problem. and we yeah That's what they are. your marriage Is your marriage failing? Have a kid. Have a child. but Yep. And ah look forward to more advice from us on the next episode of Boy Motors.
00:38:28
Speaker
We'll help you.