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00:00:01
Unsolicited Advice for Boy Moms
1 Plays3 seconds ago
Rena and Paige discuss Rena's recent Playground Incidents, back to school prep, and how much they hate cars.
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Transcript
Reactions to Instagram Content
00:00:06
Speaker
But if people are generally talked about, that's good. Yeah, but somebody was like, it was just sad. was like, this person is sad watching us. Well, that's their problem. They shouldn't be scrolling on Instagram.
The Value of Feedback
00:00:19
Speaker
Their fault for consuming the content. People say mean things. That's good. We need that. I told you we need that. I want nice things. I want to spread nice. I'm sure they're also nice
Hairstyle Preferences
00:00:30
Speaker
things. People like my hair. Yeah. Somebody said that Paige has a great hair.
00:00:37
Speaker
That is that matters. Also, our hair is very similar right now. Yeah, but I don't have the bangs. I actually was looking. I was like, should i get Paige's haircut? And I was looking at myself with the bangs. And I was like, don't like it. don't think that's a good way to tell how bangs would look on their bangs.
00:00:53
Speaker
But they won't curl up like this. This looks like a, you know, those That's crazy. That looks. Have you had bangs before? No, and I never will.
Solo Parenting Challenges
00:01:03
Speaker
It's like tattoos. I don't think it's going to happen. Yeah. I've always had bangs. I don't like the way it looks on people that look like me. And a lot of people that look like me do have bangs.
00:01:12
Speaker
And you know it's mistake. And know that it looks good on – it's like I don't mind it for them. It's just the vibe is not my vibe. I have a big forehead, which I think is why bangs are – Wait, can I see your forehead? I've never seen it before.
00:01:23
Speaker
oh yeah. I've never seen your forehead before. so let's See, if but I like foreheads. I like a big forehead. i don't know. Maybe I'm just medieval. So you don't like my bangs?
00:01:33
Speaker
I also like your bangs. I mean, I've never seen you without bangs. No, I've like always had bangs. My roommate in college cut my hair into bangs freshman year, and I've just had bangs ever since. i just loved it so much. she was very talented.
00:01:48
Speaker
You have stories. <unk> It's like, you know, these stories are very similar, I'm realizing. Well, maybe we can really figure something out. What does it say about you? What does it say about your kid? mean, i think it says that I'm like stressed out because I'm solo parenting this week. Solo parenting. Solo, like the cup. um Yeah, the first, it was all, of course, about people bringing toys to the playground. So the first story is there was two parents, one kid. So, yeah, so they had a toy. I'm trying to remember because it was a few days ago. But basically, like, my kid has been a bit more emotionally volatile since my husband left. He had to leave town for a few days because someone in the family isn't doing well.
00:02:34
Speaker
And, you know, how kids, they don't get upset about the actual thing. They're upset about it. Just they find, like, other little things to be upset about to let the feelings out. So you the way it manifested the last few days is having a lot worse time taking turns with toys. And it's been like big meltdowns. Right. So that was already his thing that he was struggling with. And sometimes he has good days, whatever. But this brought out. He's been really good lately. He has been. And this – Like, because there was a big change and... Regression. There was a bit of a regression, yeah. So I think it's just using it as an excuse to get out the feelings about missing his dad right now, you know, which is
Playground Conflicts and Judgments
00:03:13
Speaker
fine. Like, we need to get the feelings out. But...
00:03:16
Speaker
um basically, so he was having a meltdown and the two kids were kind of fighting over the toy and like getting angry about it and he kept trying to like go and grab and then I'd have to pick him up and it was like tough and then and then the parent, i it felt like they were giving me unsolicited advice. They probably were just talking but me. Only I can do that.
00:03:38
Speaker
But they were like, well, you know, when our kid gets upset, we give him a pillow or something to punch to get it out, like something else to hit. Okay, I don't like that because it's not even about what's happening in the moment. No. Obviously, you don't have a pillow on you. No. So it just it does seem like general – like you're a bad parent in general. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't like that. Yeah, they're like, here's this thing to deal with anger management. And i'm and I was just like, great.
00:04:03
Speaker
Like I replied pretty sarcastically. Did you say like – When it happened, did you say my kid struggles with sharing or something? I said nothing. So they were really reading into this one little thing. Yes, they were. I think they were stressed out, especially when it's two parents on one kid. It's like… Oh, I hate that. It's too much energy. The vibes are not good. Hovering over the one child. Yeah. And it's like, you brought the toy. Like, I didn't start this drama, you know. But also, like, you've no idea if this is a typical day for my kid. Like, it's like, he doesn't really have anger management
Managing Emotional Breakdowns at Playgrounds
00:04:40
Speaker
problems. He just was having some feelings that day. He's two.
00:04:43
Speaker
He's two. I mean, they all have meltdowns. like And I think the kid was a tiny maybe a tiny bit younger, you know, so there's kind of less understanding of what's about happen. No. Oh, God. Parents of younger kids are very smug.
00:04:55
Speaker
Very smug. because they're like, my kid's never done anything wrong. yeah Like, yeah, because they're one or they just turned two. There's a big difference. Yes. there And depending on the kid. I mean, some kids are just more tame. They're a bit more chill. Less energetic. That's a meaner way of saying it. But... um So yeah, so that was very annoying and felt like a judgment. But probably they were just, they they were, I think they were also embarrassed about how their kid was behaving. So I didn't know if that was. Oh, maybe they were talking to themselves. have taken it wrong, but I was still like kind of stealing myself from these people because I was like, I don't need that. So you said great. I was like, great. Yeah.
00:05:34
Speaker
You know, like I just, oh, you think I've never heard of that? actually also think that's a terrible strategy for anger management because that's like, let's get more angry at the pillow. Like it's like, I don't think it actually Instead of whining yeah Yeah, or learning what to do with that feeling that's like useful, you know. says But anyways, yeah, that annoyed me. And then, okay, so the next story that's somewhat similar, but a little
The Toy Dilemma at Playgrounds
00:05:56
Speaker
variation on a theme, guess, was we went to that other playground. Which The one that I go to sometimes. your secret. For material. Your little...
00:06:05
Speaker
Your content. If you go to this park, guys, she's just you for material. We prefer to talk about we don't know. also it because the bus runs earlier. So you're up he's been up really early because we've been doing no nap and then sleep 6 to 6. So it's like it's a long time until.
00:06:20
Speaker
He's sleeping from 6 to 6? Pretty much. That's right. Or 6.30 6.30. You needed that. That's pretty no nap. so it's hours straight alone. like It's like. Does he chill for any part of that? No, not unless I turn on Reading time or something? Yeah, I turn on a movie, but that's it. Like, that's only, otherwise it's just all over. hipp up up up Which I don't mind. I mean, it's like, you know, this is my last few weeks of all the time with him. That's true. Yeah. Enjoy every was really just, yesterday we stayed outside too long. It was really hot. So I was like really burnt by the end of the day. Oh yeah, I didn't see you. i was at the park yesterday. No, we just stayed Highland Park all day. like I could have used you yesterday. I could have gone yesterday. But the day was we just could go earlier. Like I just needed to go at nine and not at ten, you know.
00:07:05
Speaker
But anyways, okay. So this is what happened. So... There was a a nanny and a kid. The kid was slightly younger. i was kind of far away when it all started, but the kid had two toys. He had a bus and a truck and they, i was just watching him from afar and the nanny was like, here, we'll share here. You can have the truck.
00:07:25
Speaker
And then but then was very kind of weird about sometimes wanting it back or sometimes the kid was. No, the nanny. What? I know. I know. And she was and like the kid. She was like telling the kid, no, you're playing with the bus. He has the truck right now. was like, I can get the truck back. And i I got the truck back from him. I was like, we're all done with the truck. Here you go.
00:07:45
Speaker
um And she was like, no, no, no, it's okay. And she gives it back to him. And I was like,
Parenting Strategies for Sharing
00:07:50
Speaker
okay. Okay. So then he was like climbing the thing near the kid. The kid had the bus, but kind of wanted the truck, but wasn't really that upset about it. And he put it to the side on the thing he was climbing to keep climbing.
00:08:04
Speaker
And then she just took it back without talking to him about it. but Wait, your kid put it on? He put it on. it He was like trying to climb a little mountain thing. He put it down to climb and keep going with it.
00:08:16
Speaker
Right. Oh, and in the meantime, she grabbed it. she took it. Yeah, without saying anything. No, no, no. And then he freaked out, obviously, because it was like you didn't even how to communicate that it was over and he was still playing with it.
00:08:28
Speaker
And she didn't give it back. She gave it to the little kid and she had the bus in her back pocket. And I was like, what are we doing here? is this? No, that's bad. No, then she's being like – It felt sadistic. Yeah.
00:08:40
Speaker
She was overly worried about losing the kids to it because, you know like nannies are more like scared about messing up. Yeah. No, that's just general. Like I would have gotten it back from him. That would have been fine. Was her vibe like I don't want this kid playing with it? No, she gave it to him. No, her vibe was really like I'm saying one thing, but I'm doing another. And it was very confusing.
00:08:59
Speaker
Like. She's like, oh, it's okay. Like, maybe we could give him the bus now. And I was like, I'm not playing this crazy game with you right now. No, yeah. I can't follow her mind course melted down. I was like, I just want the truck. I just want the truck.
00:09:11
Speaker
You know? And I was like, what is happening? And then they were packing up to leave. So I guess that's why she took it. But it's like at least as short as that. Yeah, she could have just said, yeah, we experience that at our park all the time. Just say words. Then Anna will come around and say, like, we're packing up now. Yes. And then he would have given it back like yeah because kids understand like this isn't mine they're gonna go yeah but if they're if it's not just randomly snatched like oh my god so he's like freaking out freaking out freaking out they leave i was like okay see they're gone it's okay but then he's already in this mode of like needing everything that everybody else has you know
00:09:43
Speaker
Right, because that he was wronged. Yes. So then he's like, he needs some kind of revenge or righting the wrong or whatever. so it's like, you know, he kept trying to like take things from other kids. And I was just like, we need to
School Preparation Logistics
00:09:55
Speaker
get out of here. So that's when I caved and got him a smoothie because I was like, we need to go somewhere air conditioned.
00:10:01
Speaker
like yeah so it's hot on the switch in his brain yeah and yeah i needed to like carry him the whole way it's like this long block carrying him we were both like sweating sweating was just like and then it was fine the smoothie and then he was fine we went back to the playground after and he was totally great refreshed there also were no toys when we went back so everything was fine there never should be there never should be to so yeah so that was the very similar yet somehow different stories Yeah, they were different. Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
I mean, in both cases, the adult messed up. The adult who wasn't you. Yeah. I mean, in my opinion, i mean, they might think I was messing up that I have some kid who can't share who knows what they were thinking. But no, the two, but they just require rationality.
00:10:47
Speaker
You know, it was unfair to him that it was snatched away when he was told he could play with it. Yes. Or at least say, I'm taking it back now. Say something, you know? Yeah. Kids need warnings. Although I did passive aggressively, I think, both times say him, this is why we don't bring toys to the playground. Oh, you said, oh. Afterwards, loudly. That's very neat. Yeah, I know.
00:11:10
Speaker
I'm just trying. See, I would have said, I know. I would have. you you It's funny because you think you think I am the mean one and you're the nice one. But honest in the stories you tell. oh I'm mean sometimes. I think you go further than I do.
00:11:23
Speaker
do, yes. No, in person, in the real world. you Yeah. I'm not trying to make people feel bad, but i you know, when I'm upset, like I have less self-control. yeah Sounds like, yeah. Well, you're not in perimenopause yet. So like, you don't know what's going to happen. I got a few years. Yeah. As soon as I'm on HRT, maybe things will change. Oh yeah, baby. What was the if I going to say?
00:11:53
Speaker
Yeah, you're always like, yeah, sure. See, the difference, i would have said, this is why we don't play with toys at the playground, oh I guess, because to make it more like oh no me. Yeah, no.
00:12:04
Speaker
And you were just straight up saying this is This is why we, as a community, should not bring toys. Did you say should? No, no, no. Or don't? Don't. This is why we don't. This why we don't. i said it loudly not to them, to my family. Yeah, yeah. We know what you're doing. See, i'm I've gotten... It's bad. ah and I'll say stuff like that to people we know. i mean, I say that to people all the time. No one ever listens. But that's a sarcastic way. And I guess I wouldn't say that to someone we didn't know as well. Because I feel like everyone everyone knows how I feel about Toys at Playground. They your personality, yeah. And it doesn't stop them from bringing them, that's for sure. No, it's crazy. Sometimes it seems like they go harder. Yes, it does, right? They're like, this time it'll work out like for some reason. Or they think it's like they they need to learn.
00:12:49
Speaker
But I'm just like, why do you want to deal with the drama when they're not ready yet? They cannot. They're not at a cognitive level yet to be able to share usually. Like under under four, it's very difficult. Like especially under three. Like.
00:13:02
Speaker
and Yeah, no, under mean, think it's really is until five when they can really start to like actually share. No, whatever age is older than what my kid is That's the age when when everything happens and everything's perfect. Six. Even five, yeah, there's tension. I mean, like it's like – Yeah, but it is a lot easier.
00:13:21
Speaker
Yeah. With my older kid now. Yeah, course. Well, because you they're not, they're literally not able to undersert. But there was a while, he had a strict rule for a while. No, just don't play with them. Do not touch them.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah. He just wasn't allowed to touch them. Well, that's, I mean, that's one way of getting around it. And that was, though just because we were going so often. yeah And it came up so frequently, like I had to just set a hard and fast I just think it has to be all or nothing. Either everybody's bringing toys or nobody's bringing toys. But if there's just a few – like because Brooklyn and everybody brings toys, that was fine too. I mean there was always drama with the toys.
00:13:54
Speaker
But at least it was like everyone's – everyone's dealing with it. Yeah. like and we're But I just don't – I don't agree with it. Not even related to the sharing or having trouble taking turns, whatever.
00:14:08
Speaker
Just like why
Cultural Influence on Parenting
00:14:10
Speaker
would you bring toys to the playground? point is to play at the playground. Like the there's a reason that the kids will play so much better together when they go to the grass, when they go to the area outside the playground. Yeah. And they're just kind of messing with sticks, which occasionally they can still fight over sticks or whatever. But like there is something about it. They get along a lot better. Yes. Because there aren't any toys to fight over. Oh, the no toys. When we went back to that playground, they were just playing hide and seek.
00:14:37
Speaker
No toys. Yeah. They play with each other, not stuff. It felt like utopia without the toys. Yeah. Like everyone got along. There were no problems. people don't – I'm like, don't you realize that? Don't you see how much nicer it when you don't bring toys? How do they not see That's good don't know how they don't see that. We should have one of our friends on the podcast. Do you think a class issue? Like – Because we're poor.
00:15:00
Speaker
because rich people don't realize that like it's stressful to have like to have more stuff than anyone else. Oh, right. Yeah. Maybe there's just a blindness to it.
00:15:11
Speaker
I don't know. Probably not that. Right. They're showing off their stuff. I mean, I also have this trouble. we talk about snacks too. Oh yeah. We just like don't have a lot. We have nuts. We just don't have anything exciting. We have food in our house. I'm
Parenting Anecdotes and Household Management
00:15:24
Speaker
feeding my children. Okay. But we don't have free we freeze dried fruit. Like all the really fun stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That the kids love. And then other parents will bring that. And then obviously my kids want it. Right.
00:15:35
Speaker
Well, your sunflower seeds are very popular when you bring them. Oh, the pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds. Yeah. Those are popular. Yeah. That bag is empty now. Yeah. Now I just carry the empty bag around and then kids just come and try to get in there. We bought a pallet of the seaweed and then what else? I get these little – I mean it's mostly a lot of it to just bribe him to leave or bribe him to do whatever. I mean I know that's not emotionally healthy. Oh, yeah. You guys do have snacks. Yeah.
00:16:02
Speaker
do it But yeah, we bring snacks or fruit, like little those little tangerines or what do you call them The little cuties? Or banana? For me, I just personally hate said like having them begging for snacks the whole time I'm there. But if I don't bring them, they eat everybody else's snacks. Which I'm like – or They don't need to bring the snacks. Sorry. you like he randomly gets hungry like and I never know. like Sometimes he won't eat anything at home because I'm like feeding him lots of stuff. No, I always feed them right before we leave and then there' so they still get there and they're like, what's in your bag? I'm hungry. i gave him ah There's a bowl of veggie straws. He ate a bunch and
00:16:41
Speaker
But he didn't eat, like all in all, he didn't eat a lot this morning. like But I sent him a package of seaweed, but yeah. That's like 20 calories. But it's also other other people's snacks always look better. I mean, I remember from school, you always wanted what other people had like Although I always had the good stuff and I gave it all away because I was sick of it.
00:17:02
Speaker
Do you know? always like fruit roll up and Beasley's and the only thing I didn't give away was the pudding. I had very unhealthy lunches. I think Kraft mac and cheese every day. Kraft mac for lunch at school? For lunch every day at school. Cold? Pre-made cold.
00:17:17
Speaker
Every day until I was older and then it was tuna sandwiches which probably gave me more grief. Yeah, yeah. um I was eating Lunchables every day. Like disgusting. Lunchables? Yes. See, but my husband still – he bought those once for my kid. I was like, what the – No, he shouldn't. That's poison. It's horrible.
00:17:34
Speaker
draw the line. I've been quiet about what your kid is consuming and now I'm drawing the line. Lunchables, draw that line. That and those pre-made peanut butter, jelly – what do they call it? Uncrustables? Oh, Smuck. Like the – yeah, the Smuckers Uncrustables. Gross, dude. I've never – we just – it's so cheap and easy to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. do you need to pre-make? Yeah. Why do you need pre-made? Come No, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's it's it's dad logic. It's like that. He's like typical dad in that way. He's like he buys pre cut fruit sometimes. I'm like, what's so expensive? It's so expensive and it's much more dangerous. It's like you're much more probably going to get some bacterial messed up thing from them cutting it like it's gross. And they use the old fruit like it's like it's double the price and worse, basically. But yeah.
00:18:16
Speaker
That's dad logic to me. He always does like the, oh, what's easy on the go? Like the convenient thing. like Right. Yeah. and That's why he shows up to the playground with with a cooler with a loaf of bread. right What is that?
00:18:30
Speaker
He just likes the idea of having a cooler. like i love when he brings that cooler. but But he didn't bring the cooler the other day. I was just like, you got to bring the cooler. that He loves, but, ah but he doesn't clean. He has to clean the cooler to keep using the cooler.
Coping with ADHD in School
00:18:48
Speaker
I'm making, Mike is going to be a hundred percent in charge of dealing with my kids' lunches and like cleaning because I hate that. It's scary. I'm really nervous about the lunches. having i've been really And you can't have anything in packages. I'm thinking of emailing them and asking for accommodations.
00:19:05
Speaker
Just say this is – Be like, oh yeah I am neurodiverse and I can't be not sending anything pre-packaged like are you kidding me we're both working like I'm going to go insane we're just going to be emptying small packages into reusable I think it's just to not it's like that's a class issue too but they're expecting it's just rich people who have like housekeepers and nannies who are making the lunches exactly and then you just skip the instructions they want reusable napkins That's crazy. You do a load of reusable napkins. know. I'm going to do it. We bought stuff. I mean, like I'm very nervous about did it? You bought the stuff? We bought tins. I'm just very nervous about all this stuff because there's a lot of instructions and I'm not very good with instructions. Like have to label all his clothes there's stuff we're supposed to bring in a shoebox or something and like – I think we're supposed to print out a picture. What are to a shoebox? don't know. An extra outfit and like, I don't know what else. need to rehash and like.
00:20:05
Speaker
We have time. What, month? August 25th. Oh, really? really soon. Oh, i thought it was September for some reason. It was. It's like – Oh, God. You better get on this. They do rolling. and so It's fake. Yeah. It's fake school. it's Yeah. It doesn't matter. it doesn't – I mean, don't have to send them there. right that really We can do whatever we want. But um we asked for the earlier because I was like, we need money. We got to get jobs and start working. yeah like So I just – but then i it's like it's so soon now. um I'm scared. But we'll just see how it goes.
00:20:35
Speaker
But yeah, it's pretty intense amount of instructions about stuff. And for you, that doesn't – you don't benefit from a lot of rules and guidance. You need less structure or do you – No, I just – I can't. It's like I i have – one of the main problems with ADHD is short-term memory problems. So it's like – and that stuff's never going to go into your long-term.
00:20:56
Speaker
So it's juggling all that information
Names and Cultural Identity
00:20:59
Speaker
at once. It's really hard. You should print stuff out. Go to the library print it need it printed and numbered and like – Just make it big, like hang it all over the apartment. Yeah. Well, you're also supposed to check their shoebox every day to see if they need a new outfit or something. and i Oh, if they soiled their outfit? Yes, but I'm like, i'm might I might not remember to do that every day. so when you get to the school to pick them up?
00:21:21
Speaker
Yes, you have to check. You have to remember to check. Like, it's just stuff. And it's like, probably it's not as complicated. You just more stuff in there from the get-go, right? Like, stock it. Yeah. So you don't have to worry about it as much. Yeah. And I'm sure they'll communicate. I think it's just also just the unknown.
00:21:37
Speaker
Like, I just, I've never been in this scenario before. i mean, you could probably relate with your kids starting school. It's like... It's all just kind of a mystery right now. It is. am grateful. friend just texted me and said, did you get all this back to school stuff? I'm like, there's nothing. I got a backpack and I got a lunch bag. I think we already have some of the cheap version of Planet Box stuff to put in the bag. Do they need school supplies? Nowadays, they send a wish list of three things they need for the classroom. It was two 24 packs of crayons. Wish lists? Yeah, it's like the teacher wants this stuff in the classroom. It was literally three things. The school didn't pay for it?
00:22:17
Speaker
I guess. i Probably not. You know, like teachers have to buy all their own supplies now or whatever. the they put a few things on the parents, but it was like 50 cent crayons. So i got I got three things, but they don't need supplies for them.
00:22:30
Speaker
Oh, it's just communal supplies. It's communal supplies, Yeah. So there wasn't, I didn't really have to date and there are no rules. I don't to bring extra outfits. Like they're not, they're not in diapers. School clothes. like Oh, I got him back in school clothes. Can you describe any of these styles?
00:22:48
Speaker
i I got him a lot of striped eighties shirts. Okay. That's cool. A lot of cool vintage stuff. He's going to look great. i so Yeah. yeah So that to me was the fun part about going to school. Yeah. Yeah. Which it always was when I was a kid too. One thing I meant to ask you about was for the list of names. Oh, yeah. I didn't send it to you. And I remember in my head, I was like coming up with the names, but I forgot all of them in the past week.
00:23:18
Speaker
I did have a list of names and I was going to see how many of them were I mean, I can show you, but I do feel bad making fun of kids' names. Well, we don't have to – we're not going to say their names on the podcast. Yeah, but I'll show you.
00:23:29
Speaker
We won't say the names.
00:23:36
Speaker
Iris. Is there someone named Iris? Iris Poppy. bet there's a poppy. I bet there's...
00:23:46
Speaker
There's probably an Asher. ah Lake. You are not going to believe these names. I'm going to see if any of them...
Family History and Cultural Influence
00:23:58
Speaker
oh Oh, yeah. Okay, a few of these are a few of these are normal. but Well, yeah, a few 30% I'd say. Some good alliteration that I appreciate. Uh huh. Yep. That's definitely in there. it some Looks like some twins.
00:24:19
Speaker
Oh.
00:24:24
Speaker
Okay. So what do you think, having seen the list? um What is happening? Yeah, seeing them all together, I feel like it's harder to appreciate it. Okay, but you can see how looking at this list and expecting normal names, you would be a little bit bowled over.
00:24:44
Speaker
I mean, a few of them, I'm like, okay, these are these are Jews, but let me tell you, these are not very Jewish sounding names. No, they accept people who aren't. I mean, ours doesn't. You don't have it. Our last name doesn't seem. took your husband's name. He did, yeah. well Well, my last name's there as a middle name.
00:25:02
Speaker
It's your kid's middle name. It's one of his middle names. Yeah. um Yeah. Because everyone, everyone does that. the The wives don't change their last name anymore. And then they always give their kid the, the husbands. love Maybe that's like a compromise. put mine there. You know, he can decide. Like, he can decide to use his two middle names as his name.
00:25:22
Speaker
It works as a name if he wants. Like, Just whatever he wants to do. Or if he disowns his father at some point, like all the celebrity children do. I just thought since I circumcised him and I'm taking him into my tribe, I'd give him last name. Throw him a bone. Yeah, that's what you get. Yeah.
00:25:41
Speaker
yes But then he does – yeah. The vibe is different with that last name. Yeah. Oh, for sure. It seems like he's like Bible Belt or something. Yeah, he's a little – And your last name is... It's ambiguous. Yeah, it is kind of ambiguous. know. It's weird. Yeah.
00:25:58
Speaker
I guess with your first name, though, like when you put them together, like yeah, this is probably Jewish person. People don't know going on. I mean, because it's not German. Like, it's like... People don't know what's going on with my name, honestly. That's kind of good. That's good though, right?
00:26:12
Speaker
I can hide. Yeah. But but my my but like the maiden names of my grandmother sound very – we have like Shapiro and Granitstein. Those are the maiden names of my grandmothers.
00:26:29
Speaker
And then my mom – I mean, my mom's maiden name is just – I'm glad. They put that as my middle name. What is it? Menkow. ah yeah What was your... um I mean, you have an alliteration name am now. You're married in.
00:26:44
Speaker
That's why I changed it. Because my name before was no good. was it? It was Paige... Devitt. Oh, that's fine. It's fine. it's kind like It's kind of like yours. It's like Calgary. Devitt.
00:26:56
Speaker
Devitt. And I guess it used to be... Mick Devitt, but I don't think my grandpa has been able to find evidence of that. Mick Devitt. Yeah. Mick Devitt. Like our – yeah, our last name is Irish.
00:27:09
Speaker
um But it's it's ambiguous too. it just Yeah, it just seems like a cowgirl to me. Paige Devitt. But whenever I say it, everyone's like, huh? Devitt. Also, when they used to ask my mom, will that be debit or credit? Yeah. I always thought it meant like our last name. And I was like, why doesn't – and she always runs everything as credit because she's like paranoid. um So I was like, why don't we ever use debit? Like our – Our own credit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's quite the
Fears in Solo Parenting
00:27:42
Speaker
rhyme.
00:27:42
Speaker
I was really keen on changing my name. think I was like, i need a fresh start. But I don't know if it served me very well. were You married much younger than I did. ah I'd already spent 38 years. Yeah, that's true. I wasn't going change my name.
00:27:58
Speaker
Do you have any stories, nothing? Let's see.
00:28:04
Speaker
i can tell everyone about your paranoia of your kid being on the top platform. And he just stands. So he stands at the top of the playground where there's an opening. He knows scares And holding on and he's just like, i'm tall. Yeah.
00:28:21
Speaker
I'm up here. yeah Yeah. Over and over again. And you're like, move back. Move back. Move away. Hey, saying his name over and over again. and he's, of course, he'll like lift one foot out. Yeah. know like that says Terrifying. Terrifying. ah And then, and you were sitting next to me and I was like, just don't react.
00:28:39
Speaker
I can't it. But then what's going to happen? But then I took responsibility. I said, I'm watching him now. Yeah. And I'm wearing sunglasses. I don't know if you were wearing sunglasses because I was wearing sunglasses. So I was able – could watch him without him knowing that I was watching him. Maybe that's of a good tactic. also neither one of us could have gotten there in time if he jumped off.
00:28:56
Speaker
like But he also would have – he would have fine. He would have been fine. I don't think he was going to jump off, but he probably would have been fine if he did. It's also because my mom once fell off a cliff. I've probably never told you about this, but.
00:29:08
Speaker
When she was a kid or when she was older? An adult. um And she has a permanent injury from it. And she like lost some of her memory. Like it was before she had us. But it's just the heights thing. yeah it So it's like I have this fear of heights like a little bit.
00:29:24
Speaker
I don't know. um But, yeah, i I do think. I think it's also because my husband's out of town. Like, if he were there, I wouldn't have been as scared because I'd be like, there's two of us. I don't know why it just changes everything for me. um Yeah, but he knows. He wants to test the thing that scares me. I would have caught I'm fast. i I do have really fast reflexes. I think I could have gotten them. Okay.
00:29:46
Speaker
It would have crushed me. yeah you would have not been okay. you want um Yeah. I would have broken bones, but would catch I found my reflexes got better after having a kid, like in dangerous situations. Did yours improve? Yeah, and I think I've always been – I've always been fast. Like if somebody's like, heads up, catch this. I can like catch it. Like if it's, if it's in a way that gets my adrenaline going, like if they're just passing me a ball, I'll still miss. because like Well, that's, well, and what's interesting, like we, we count on the men for the dads to save all the kids who are,
00:30:19
Speaker
falling or whatever. Yeah. But I think women, i think women have better peripheral vision. So I think women are more likely to see a kid is falling and then they have to go, ah, ah, and then the man will go they make the noise. We have to work together. That's why I'm so loud.
00:30:37
Speaker
Um, Okay. But yeah, not react. Like there's got to be a way. This is the unsolicited advice portion. Oh, of the standing up there and what's due. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:49
Speaker
Cause you like, obviously keep reacting. This is part of why I think he needs a bit of a more variety than just being with me because I don't want my anxiety to be this like such huge influence on it. It's clearly him. It's clearly something i need to,
00:31:03
Speaker
That's why he's good. He's good. to figure I also, you know, I'm drinking an insane amount of caffeine because I'm the sole caregiver for one week solo. Solo. I'm not not single. but In case you were interested, she's not single. not single. Our husband is a hero. um but <unk> Yeah, I'm drinking a lot of caffeine. So that also might be making the... You're more on edge. Yes, 100%.
00:31:30
Speaker
I'm on edge. Yeah. And like, you know, when your partner's far away and like was like doing a lot of driving. See, I've never experienced like I deal with the kids all by myself all the time. Yeah. But but he's right there.
00:31:41
Speaker
He doesn't leave town. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's our first time being away from each other this long, even since before having kids. Oh, wow. Yeah. This long? It hasn't been since like 2021 or something. Like...
00:31:58
Speaker
maybe i think I went on a trip for a few days and that's the last time like and it didn't go well why oh yeah no yeah and we didn't have a kid Mike went to Detroit in 2020 to canvas for Bernie ah and that was the last time we were working for a a night yeah one night yeah no but it well he was gone I think he was gone for two or three nights but that was the last time we were working for each other it didn't work wasn't worth it I was more hopeful in 2016 for Bernie.
00:32:33
Speaker
In a way, he had a better shot. Yeah. If he hadn't sabotaged him. primary. The primary. Yes. Anyway, that's what we had.
Safety Concerns and Car-free Living
00:32:43
Speaker
I think it's my mom's book. They don't know. the the running the running ahead thing, too, might be similar. I'm scared of that. No, because the car... I mean, you have every right to be afraid of... At least with the playground. I'm like, I know they're going to be okay. But yeah, SUVs, they literally can't see in front of them. It's the driveways that scare me the most.
00:33:01
Speaker
Because I can't see a ahead to see if a car is pulling out. You know? And they can't see him. I will tell you... We know a kid who got hit by a car that was pulling out and it was like it it was like nothing. It was like nothing.
00:33:14
Speaker
Yeah, but are going but kids have died. I know. No, I know. It's usually your own kid. Yes. Because you don't see them and they feel safe there. That's why like the there's some guy who killed his kid.
00:33:28
Speaker
in the In his driveway 20, 25 years ago. just It scares the crap out me. Yeah, it's more of those. Like, the the corner of the street is also scary, but cars are looking like he's in front of them, you know? Like, it's like, yeah, it's really just the driveways that really scare me. Because also, they'll sneak up on you. And, like, in yeah, you can't see a ahead, you can't tell. either Okay, mike to me, the the scariest thing, because we almost got hit by a car, and we were crossing Russell,
00:33:55
Speaker
and And a car just, like, i don't know if someone got in the fight, but a car, like, zoomed toward us. Like, they were angry and almost didn't stop.
00:34:08
Speaker
And it was so terrifying. scary. Like, I think my heart was racing. what saying. I don't trust the cars. I do not trust the cars. it's bad. I just don't. Like, I'm, you know, I'm on the defense. After that happened, I was like, I wish cars just didn't exist. I hate them. They're killing machines. Yeah, they're killing machines. And people, it's like, there's no breathalyzer in the car. Like, it's like, anybody can drive. Like, if they're not caught, they could be on anything.
00:34:32
Speaker
I don't know. I just, I'm really terrified. I think also being, in well I don't say this, but like being in recovery, like I hear about how many people drive on the vehicles. Like, Oh, yeah, it's bad. And it's really bad.
00:34:44
Speaker
You think it – is it better now? Is it better than it was before Uber stuff? I think it's worse because it's not alcohol anymore. It's like all these other horrible drugs. I just read – for some reason I got an email from like Arizona.com.
00:34:59
Speaker
department of like correction. I don't know why. love their mailing list page. What you guys are on the list page? Because I used, like I had, because eventually they told me, I was still getting emails about voting and they said, to go in person if you want to be taken off a list. I was like, okay, well then that's never going to happen. And I can still vote here, it's fine. But, so I'm on some list there and they, they're like sentenced, 16 year old was driving at 120 per in a 35 mile per hour in a thirty five mile pra zone And he was under the influence of marijuana and he killed five people.
00:35:35
Speaker
There was one, it was two parents and so i have to do that math one kid survived. It was two parents and four kids.
00:35:46
Speaker
And then there was just one kid left. Isn't that crazy? But they're going to stay inside the club. You do not have to worry about them. But like, yeah, even me.
00:35:58
Speaker
Well, that couldn't have just, been that's also just something. he was crazy. 16. so he he got prison for 30 years at 16 because what he did was so bad. But that's also a crazy thing because like he could have driven that way and not killed anyone and there would have been no consequences. you Yes. or if you were Or if you get an accident and you just happen to not kill someone, then your consequences are less severe. But really it was just the luck of whether or not you actually killed someone.
00:36:32
Speaker
Cars are bad. Okay. They're bad. Well, this goes back to my dream of us. Like I had this dream that we all just lived in Griffith Park and there were no roads and no cars and there was just little houses and like, you know, all those like the ways the the needles from the evergreen. Can we all just move to a place like this? And just have a community like that? Where does your sister live? Unfortunately, no, there's no sidewalks there. It's even scarier.
00:36:58
Speaker
And everyone still drives. Yes. Yeah. I need to go somewhere where no one drives. No cars. The problem is the only communities like that are cults. That's fine. I guess we need to start. I mean, I know I've listened a lot. and I know the groundwork.
00:37:12
Speaker
You just you have to have no morals. I care about emotionally manipulating people, but we could emotionally manipulate people into moving to the countryside with us if we wanted.
00:37:24
Speaker
They'd be brainwashed, but we'd have our dream. And that's what matters. um Let's do it. It would combat climate change. As long as we're doing everything ourselves. We'd have to. It's actually the opposite. If you if ever if you move to the country and then you're getting Amazon packages. No, we would have to be fully like it would have to be like a like a kibbutz basically. like We should talk to your your cousins doing that.
00:37:50
Speaker
Isn't your cousin living off the grid? Am I crazy? have a lot of cousins. I'm trying to like file through all of them off the grid. In Canada.
00:38:01
Speaker
Oh. Oh.
Imagining a Car-free Community
00:38:03
Speaker
Was he kind of doing that? He goes out into the wild for like days at a time. So we could we could get tips from him at least. He might know some stuff. I mean, my uncle knows. He's a tripper. He's taking me on a canoe trip every year. i don't know if they know anything about farming though. That we'd really have to...
00:38:18
Speaker
We'd need to basically do some research, find an expert, and then brainwash him into joining our cult. And we'd need startup capital, so we'd have to find some billionaires.
00:38:31
Speaker
All right. Please tell everyone about our podcast. Elon Musk crashed.