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"Why did you get so mad at me?"
17 Plays25 days ago
Rena and Paige discuss their new favorite park dad, Rena's kid's impending daycare plans, and Paige's kid's recent confrontation with a frazzled young toddler mom.
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Transcript
Feedback and Guest Consideration
00:00:11
Speaker
A lot has happened since the last episode of Boy Moms. We've gotten a lot of feedback. What would you say? We had one person who wanted to be a guest.
00:00:23
Speaker
And we're it's still under consideration, so we won't say too much. Oh, we're not going to. Okay, Because I'm still considering. Cage is considering. This person. do you have any boy mom stories?
Adventures and Risks in Childhood
00:00:35
Speaker
Well, this week um my child got really into climbing things that scare me. what? Like a big hill with rocks that's very steep that I didn't want to go follow him up.
00:00:48
Speaker
So then what did you do? I'm asking her questions that I know the answer to because I was there the whole time. He's been scaring me with how much he likes it to to climb up really high things and then stand up without holding on to anything.
00:01:03
Speaker
which is scary for me. That's how he learns. In general, scary, but also because I'm short, so I like literally can't help him. And I know people don't like when I say this, but boys got to climb.
00:01:14
Speaker
They got to be physical. Stop, stop. Do you like this voice? I mean, girls, I don't know, but don't think I do, actually. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I mean, girls girls got to climb. Social climb. No, just kidding.
00:01:30
Speaker
and You gotta find a husband. And they'll do it in heels. yeah um But yeah, okay. So he climbed up. So basically i was like, I'm not going to go up there with you.
Dad Dynamics at the Park
00:01:43
Speaker
and then there was this one like very dad-ish dad, like the ultimate dad. Dad's dad. Kind of older, very sensitive, like seeming like, thank you for saying, like very like smiley. Just dad, just picture a dad.
00:01:58
Speaker
It's him. Pretty much like an older dad, I guess. Someone who perhaps-
00:02:06
Speaker
He has the energy. He has it in him to do this. Yeah. He already had. On a Saturday, he's ready to go. Watch all the kids, which to be fair, my husband also did yesterday. Oh, oh did he? Oh, because he was competing, obviously, because your husband got very jealous.
00:02:22
Speaker
Oh, with that other dad. Of the story about the other dad. Well, dads don't like hearing about other dads being dads to their kids when they're not there. mean, yeah, because they're the dad. But, um oh, yeah, very daddish man. He already had two kids of his own there, and then he was shepherding another child. And then he was like, don't worry, I can, I can, I think he said I can shepherd this. I think that's the language he used. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:47
Speaker
And I was just like, all right, like I'm trying to not let my anxiety limit my child's life. So I was just like, i will just trust this stranger.
00:02:59
Speaker
No, it is funny because I never would have let my child go up there. Really? Alone without you? Oh, interesting. But but because he would have well, he would have freaked out. Well, yours just wouldn't. I mean, your kid came up and tried to climb the hill halfway and then started crying. And I was like, why can't my kid be more like that? Yeah. Like he knows his limits, I guess. Yeah. Why can't he just stay down with me and be scared with me? And then, i you know, and then I know he's OK.
00:03:23
Speaker
But yeah, I just trusted because it's just, you know, got to. Also, it was like a familiar. It wasn't a total stranger. No. The people you see at the park, even on the weekends, tend to be the same. He's a friend of a friend, basically. So it's like I know people that know him.
00:03:37
Speaker
So, yeah, he wasn't just really random. He's vouched for. And he had his own two kids there. So I just felt like, i don't know, you kind of, it was vibes. It was vibes. But it just felt, you i mean, you just have to go with your gut with your own kid, you know, like, and if you feel like they need independence in that moment, then you're just like, all right. like They're also gone a long time. They were gone a long time and they did it three times. Like they came back and then they're like let's go again. No, none of the weekday dads would be able to do that. They did it. Yeah. They would go once. And then be like. Well, they'd be able to. They just wouldn't because they're like. They just don't want to. Yeah. yeah Because they do it every day. They'd be like, i don't have it. I was like, I'm not going up there. Like I need to save my energy. But Mike did go back when he came the next day. yeah He didn't let them just go up. Like. Oh, really? The same thing happened, but he went.
00:04:25
Speaker
He checked Oh, he went with them. Yeah, but he's a dad. but and he Dads will climb. yeah i was like i And the dads are jealous of other dads. Right, so they want to be there. It's like, yeah, me too. I'm just like, yeah. I'm a camp counselor. sure yeah No, I was there. I was standing next to one of the nannies and and i was like she was like, I don't want to go up there. I was like, I'm not going up there. We were both like, yeah.
00:04:49
Speaker
I was like, I'm basically yeah also not putting that in my job description right now. um But my child had a great time. He did get a boo-boo. So, but, and the dad reported back about it. He was like, he fell down. He said, i that hurts. And, but then he was like, I'm okay. And he got up he like told me the whole story of what happened. Oh yeah. He did that. He was like, he's really good at saying when he's with my other child, but he did allow to go up there. He was like, he's really good at saying when he's scared.
00:05:15
Speaker
Yeah, he acknowledges. He's like the preschool teacher yeah who's like reporting everything. Yeah, he definitely gave a report. Previously, my child did hit someone with a stick. um And that dad also was, and I said, we're sorry, are you okay? And he was like, wow, thanks for checking in. like he I feel like that dad especially has worked on acknowledging positive things that kids do in front of them as like a specific parenting tactic of like positive reinforcement. Yeah. What we're trying to say is we love his dad.
00:05:50
Speaker
And we are ah both leaving our husbands with for For the one It's going to be a Mormon situation. This is the announcement we're making today on this podcast. You thought we didn't have anything to talk about, but big changes are happening on boy moms. Yeah, we'll each have our one week with him. You know, it'll be great.
00:06:11
Speaker
All our kids love him. Do they trust him? There was another dad that didn tell me that my kid was like, other daddy. And my husband was like, what the hell is happening right now? It was my friend's boyfriend who like put him on his shoulders and he was he taller than my husband, which I'm sure also couldn't have felt good in his face.
00:06:33
Speaker
Much taller and stronger. he could reach not strong. I don't think stronger. um But no, but this, but this dad was taller. So my kid was on his shoulders and could reach all the way to all the trees and stuff.
00:06:45
Speaker
So that couldn't have felt good. i mean. Oh, and I told you about the video the video of my kid with a kite and the other dad like helping him with the kite. Oh, yeah. Like running alongside him.
00:06:57
Speaker
Well, then the other – then was the day before yesterday? He was like, you know, ah someone brought a kite to the park the other day and I was the one who was running with all the kids.
00:07:07
Speaker
I wonder why. trying to compensate. This is good. I mean, if if they do better simply because they're competing with other men, then that's great. Keep it up. Yeah. Whatever you want your husband to do, just be like, I saw this other dad doing it. And they might get really mad at you in the moment, but then then i do a few days later, you'll see changes. Well, my husband also said that my kid...
00:07:31
Speaker
went up to a different dad while he was there and was like, can you tickle me? And the dad was like, can't do that. I'm sorry. You know? And the dad, we know, no, I think it was like random playground. It might've been, I'm not sure. I have to confirm, but, but, and then my husband was like, I'll tickle you. And my kid was like, no, I'm going to a slide.
00:07:56
Speaker
So yeah, I don't know. That's what they need to do better. Yeah. Well, what do we want our husbands to do? What do I want them to do? I saw this other dad. we We also shouldn't talk about them too much because they are our biggest fans. Half of our listeners are our our our relatives.
00:08:14
Speaker
so That's true. was just trying
Nostalgia and Camp Experiences
00:08:19
Speaker
to think of what I want him to do. And was like, he actually does most of all. He does a lot. I mean, he did take all the kids at the playground yesterday in the car after. And he was like, should I start a summer camp?
00:08:29
Speaker
it he was He already did. so he might as well get paid for it. He was like, I'll charge $200 a week. I was like, $200? Try $500. No, but it's for it's for the real people. So like we ran into that art camp at the park yesterday. $500 week. Art. We can't afford that. These kids were made of different stuff.
00:08:51
Speaker
This is an interesting thing. i This isn't true for all of the rich kids I know, but these kids from this camp were just a different breed. And they just knew that my kid was different. How would you describe what the breed that you're talking about?
00:09:08
Speaker
I would describe them as glistening. like There was just something about them. like They were just like, We don't have any problems. They put hyaluronic acid my face. The parents never have any stress, you know. Oh, they just seemed relaxed. Yes, yes. And kind of – and so put off by my kids more like frantic energy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:28
Speaker
You know they've never gone barefoot outdoors. Yeah, right. No. Even though they're at this like art camp, the the description of it was like, ah if you're nostalgic for the 90s, remember 90 summers? It was very much trying to like. interesting.
00:09:43
Speaker
See, you you're into that. Yeah. She just lit up. Yeah. Well, it's like I do remember summer. But that's a thing. That's a that's like a that's a social media yeah thing right and now yeah to talk about. Like bring back summer. Yes. But it's like a cure. But instead of like, okay, so an actual 90s summer, right, it should be unstructured, just like playing outside with your neighbors and running around and and you don't come back until dark or whatever. Right. But it's like a camp that you pay $500 for. To go back time. And you're only with other rich kids. i mean, if they have an actual time machine, it's worth it.
00:10:17
Speaker
Then for $500. For $500 to go back and back? If you can really go back to the No, but apparently, or I don't know if this is true, but I saw someone say online that like when you're younger, you see colors a little brighter. it's like, of course, we would think of the 90s as this amazing, colorful, bright time because we were younger. So we were taking in more stimuli. Like our brains were actually higher functioning.
00:10:43
Speaker
when we were younger in that sense. um I'm trying to think of a 90s summer. I mean, I went to summer What does that mean? you were at camp? Like sleepaway camp? Yeah, I was in Maine.
00:10:54
Speaker
For months? For one month. Wow. It was awesome. was the best. Like a Jewish? Yeah. The classic Jewish summer camp. It was from the JCC in Boston. So what were you doing? is Like as a teenager, a young kid? I started, i think, second grade. Second grade, you're gone for a month?
00:11:10
Speaker
Maybe more. I think my sister was there too. it was like, I think I did two weeks in second grade and got used to it. And then you'd get more and more as got older. And then you'd go a month. Yeah. Okay. And it was awesome. I mean, it was always the best time of the year for me.
00:11:25
Speaker
I loved it so much more than school. like And I love the people more too. Well, you get to like be someone else, right? Some my friends from school came to my summer camp. Okay. those But for the most part, do you did you get to like,
00:11:38
Speaker
Be it like you didn't have the pressure of like what people thought of you from school or? i don't know no i think i was just boy crazy and it was like there were socials dances people were dating so many opportunities exactly like wet hot american summer and i can't emphasize this enough it was exactly like that summer camp that's something i i definitely never experienced but it's it's a it's a thing it looked the everything that the whole like a lot has changed since lunch thing was like so true there's like lots of drama all the time like Like every day was very long. Very long and big and fun. And you're like outdoors a lot, which like, you know, all winter and like sequestered. and or you have to put on snow pants to go outside or whatever. Like, wow no, it was incredible. i i loved it so much. And you had a bunk. It was basically like a sleepover every night with like other girls. And it was fun. And you had like solidarity with your bunk against like the cool girls bunk, which obviously nobody's ever in. You were never in the cool girls' bunk? No, no. There was a definite hot girls' bunk and we were not in that bunk.
00:12:40
Speaker
It was like – we were a pen 15 vibes. Okay. You know. But I'm sure they didn't get all the guys because guys don't care. all guys. They got all of them? They got all the guess everything's relative. I mean, we got guys eventually.
00:12:51
Speaker
Some guys. We wore them down. There might have been some group of even more loser girls that thought we were the cool. Yeah. Everything's relative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same with Aintem. Maybe the year, yeah. They were a year older, so it's probably just whoever's a year older. You're like, they're the cool girls.
00:13:06
Speaker
Are you still friends with anyone from that camp? I mean, so ah two of those girls also went to school with me, so I'm still friends with them. okay And the other ones, it's like, they just live far away, but I think of them very fondly and would be friends if they were closer. Have you ever looked them up? just not I mean, we're all friends on Facebook because I was exactly the right age to add every single person I've ever known on Facebook as I grew. Right. When you were a teen. Yeah. So if I want to check what they're up to, I can. They're all there. i know what they're doing. but And we're friendly. like Yeah. I still like them.
00:13:39
Speaker
I would be friends with them. Would you want... your kid to have the same experience that I definitely want to send Well, he's getting started now, right? But her we they need to know that he's... He's going start prear yeah preschool. preschool.
00:13:55
Speaker
Or whatever Paige would call it. Two-year-old preschool. have Call it prison. see Her kid's going to a fancy daycare, fancy preschool daycare. Fancy jail.
00:14:06
Speaker
and It's minimum security. No, actually the security is really good. How many guns do the guards have? Did you count them? I didn't count the guns. But they have guns. I don't know. They they definitely have guns. I mean, I know there's like a lot of gates you have to get through to get to the inside. It's not so easy to get in there.
00:14:25
Speaker
But they do give like Jewish education kind of a little bit. Yeah, I am jealous. I mean, I'm jealous that you will, you have the means to provide for your kids. We are We don't have the means. We have a parent helping us out. It's mainly to, you know, brainwash my child to make sure he feels Jewish.
00:14:43
Speaker
That's like a major motivation. That's important for him.
Education and Child Development
00:14:46
Speaker
and And psychologically, it feels better to me for her to pay for that and for me to get a job to pay for us to live than her get helping us live. For you to watch Survival money. Yeah. like it's like for For whatever reason, it doesn't make actual sense because all roads lead to Rome, but I don't know. if There's some kind of shame in there with parents helping with basics. like But I'm like, I'm in my forty s like
00:15:16
Speaker
you know like at least this is going straight from them to my child and not to me you no but it's nice that they it's very nice it's very lucky we're very lucky I mean yeah you know so it's all gonna change but we'll see yeah it's gonna be a very different podcast It is. Yeah, I'm going to represent the people whose kids go to a thing. Or in the system. Yeah. I mean, my friends from Canada are like, yeah, this is way late. Like, they start so young. Like, because it's it's like $5 a day or whatever, $9 a day or something. It's all subsidized. where I'm hoping that he gets expelled, obviously. He might. Which he might. He might. He does like to take toys and hit other kids with them sometimes. Like, so it could it could go south and all not work out.
00:16:08
Speaker
Yeah, don't. do Yeah, if you want to tell him that hitting is good to try to get him expelled, you can try it out.
00:16:17
Speaker
I'm going to have some secret conversations. Or maybe just bite. So there was that book. Okay, so we bought the book Hands Are Not For Hitting. Oh, you did. But then at the playground, someone else brought Teeth Are Not For Biting.
00:16:28
Speaker
And your husband was like, the title of this is ridiculous. Like the very notion that teeth are not for bite. That's literally what they are for. The function of teeth. like They didn't think that through. no truly. and like None of these books. They don't work. They don't work. It went through many editors. like No, we haven't even read Hands Are Not Friends. It's just like sitting collecting dust in our bookcase somewhere. but um And he stopped it. It's like the hitting is always like it's bad one week and then it's fine the next week. like I never know you know. He goes through like ups and downs with it.
00:17:04
Speaker
Well, do you think do you think he – do you think he understands so far about the change that's coming? you know We haven't talked to him that much about it. He's heard me talk to other people about it. So when he – and then when he was there, when he get when they were checking it out. He had fun. what did he But, like, did he – was there any, like, so, like, this is where you're going to go? Or, like, this – like, did – was that conversation had while he was there? I don't know. I wasn't.
00:17:28
Speaker
I mean, yeah those we were podcasting. I was neglecting him by doing a podcast. Like, I don't know where he's going. I mean, we'll have a lot of talks with him about it. We had a lot of talks with him before we moved here. And that was a big transition. And that really helped.
00:17:42
Speaker
I'm sure I'll report back on that. Don't be a working mom. We're supposed to be talking about boy mom stuff. what are the trials and tribulations of boy moms? We are boy moms talking. Isn't everything we say kind of a lot boy moms? Then we should talk about movies.
00:17:56
Speaker
Then we should talk about movies. i mean, there's only one person giving that feedback. That's true. Some people might have loved the movie stuff. You know? Yeah, we're not. If you like when we talk about movies, please reach out to us. Bye, bye, bye. Well, one thing I'll say about boy moms throughout history is that they definitely wanted you to have a boy. Boys were more valuable as children. And now it's the opposite, right? Now that people doing IVF.
00:18:26
Speaker
Oh, they want to have I feel like we got data will emerge later. But it seems like these people who are doing IVF choose girls. mean, I would have chosen a girl. I didn't know, you know. You would have chosen girl. Well, also because it's a mom, probably you want someone like you. so you're like, oh, a girl. I was a girl.
00:18:42
Speaker
I want a girl. It's like what you said. You give what you were or whatever. So it's like. I wouldn't want a me. you wouldn't want a you, Paige? Why?
00:18:56
Speaker
You know It's redundant. Oh, I see. Redundant. But don't you think your boys are similar to you? One of them is, definitely. The older one? Yes. Hey, that's you. Yes. Yeah, you have one of each. You have like one you and one. no, I was saying this yesterday. yeah Yeah. One is me and one is Mike.
00:19:16
Speaker
yeah Yeah, totally. but Well, okay, when your boys fight with each other, since it's one is you and one is Mike, do you guys take the side of the one that's like you? like No, I think, well, but I think I have...
00:19:30
Speaker
The younger child allegiance to balance out. Because they're younger. Because I'm, yeah, I'm a younger child. We're both younger children. so I think we're able to see. so you're seeing what. I think Mike would always take the younger child side. And I i can see both because I can see me in the older one. But then I can also, as the younger child, see the other one's perspective. When you're seeing what you would be like as an older child. yes Right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:59
Speaker
Very controlling. ah I mean, it's hard not to be controlling. don't know. get it. See, you can – yeah, I feel like you relate too.
00:20:09
Speaker
I think you appreciate him because you might relate to him a bit, right? I relate. Well, he's pretty similar to my kid. They have like similar personalities. Yeah. I would say. They get along really well. Yeah. ah But they also don't in a way well because they're similar. yes Yeah. They both want to control each other. Yeah. Whereas you're – yeah.
00:20:27
Speaker
feel like my younger child and your kid can play very well together. They play very well together, but they're not always interested in playing with each other. Like, it just depends. yeah like No, it's good. We have a good – I feel like we have a good dynamic with the three of them. Yeah, I think so.
00:20:41
Speaker
Yeah. Whatever they need in the moment. They find it. Yeah. My favorite is when they each have found their little spot in the room and they're each doing their own thing just parallel. Yeah. Yeah, when they're just quiet and not. They're in like a zone. No, and they're like focused and like, it's just, it's very cute that they can all do that in silence together. Yeah, yeah. It's good. I mean, that's, and once they're really reading, so reading, they can. You can just read books next to each other and read.
00:21:08
Speaker
Yeah, hopefully my child, well, maybe he'll learn to read where he's going. he definitely doesn't i don't they're not going to teach that there let me tell you they are not going to teach that he showed him the letter q the other day and she was like what letter is this and he very confident confidently was like e and i was like not even o at least he not even a similar looking letter i mean at least he knew you were asking for a letter and he wasn't like Four, you know. that's Okay. Yeah. Let's let's take the babies take the win. i and I asked my younger kid.
00:21:39
Speaker
was like, how do you spell mama? was like M-O-M-A. He spelled it correctly. This is what I'm saying. First try. And I like, how do you even know that? Because you teach them things and I am not a teacher. I don't even think I'm meaning to, but I guess I am. No, you do And he watches his older brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Like to prepare,
00:21:56
Speaker
You know, he's absorbing it. But do you think if you tried to teach your kids stuff, do you think he would listen? Because, yeah, he's not going to learn that stuff at the preschool, which is fine. i don't condone sitting down and, like, learning when he's two years old. I mean, I would try. For a while he knew the letter P, but it went away.
00:22:12
Speaker
And then he knew for a while he knew Q because that was our train. Oh, so that's why you were counting on Q. Q train. When I had that Q, you were probably like, here we go. No, no, I knew he didn't know it anymore. Like, it's like it's all gone now. Yeah.
00:22:24
Speaker
New York was helpful. How much does he remember about New York, do you think? He doesn't. I tried to say I was like, remember the tot lot? And he was like, nothing. Nothing. He remembers his friends. People, yeah. We have FaceTimed with one of his friends, and there're there it was sad. They're both like, I miss you.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah, it was really sad. But I'm hoping that they just like end up together when they're older. Oh, it could be a very cute story. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, I'm like also like maybe, I mean, obviously if we make more money, I'm like maybe we could send them to summer camp together on the East Coast.
00:22:59
Speaker
Could be cool. But then that is so far away from here. True. Yeah, that's true. Well, i guess depends on the age. If he's like a teenager. yeah Yeah, he'll be older. i mean, i don't know when we'll start, but.
00:23:14
Speaker
I guess, yeah, it's that one is, I'm like, I just want to give him what I had. want, like, East Coast Jewish summer camp. Like, that is, a yeah. It's far, though. I mean, it's far. And costs more to send him over there, for sure. I mean, we're not making that choice now, that's for sure. I think there's summer camps around here, though, too, like, in California. Yeah, they have. I mean, yeah our temple has something.
00:23:39
Speaker
I don't know if it's for that long. um Yeah, I don't know. what be Because we can't afford any of that. Like, there's no way. we can Yeah. man I don't know how much it costs. I haven't even looked into No, it's so expensive. i don't know.
Parenting Challenges and Confidence
00:23:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:53
Speaker
yeah Even the day camps here are too much. Like, These are for like rich. It's like a separate category of people who can afford this stuff. I think that was cheap. Like I would go to like the YMCA. Yeah, that's what I did like Girl Scout.
00:24:05
Speaker
Yeah. For like three nights. Yeah, that's what it was like a few hundred dollars. I think. Yeah, he did that Eagle Scout. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What she talks about all the time. all the Yeah, I went to camp too. Well, he was showing them off yesterday, right? Yeah. I mean, he'd be a great camp counselor. he He's very summer campy.
00:24:26
Speaker
I think. But yeah. He was getting a good workout. No, it was good. yeah Yeah, it was good. It was good. They both slept well. I was up all night watching re-watching ah TV show that will remain nameless.
00:24:44
Speaker
Okay, what else? Well, you said you were saving something for the park. Wait, okay. My boy mom's story, i wasn't there for it. o But at the park the other day,
00:24:57
Speaker
There was an 18-month-old climbing up a ladder. toddler. Her mom was right there, of course. and Then my kid was starting to climb up next to her.
00:25:13
Speaker
and The mom was like, it's her turn right now. you will get your turn. like that this Talking to this kid, to she's like never met before. That's crazy. um yeah and Then he was like, yeah, I'm waiting for her to go up. And she went up and then ah and then my kid went up. And then he turned to the mom and said, why did you get so mad at me?
00:25:36
Speaker
and which i think she was just like, i wasn't mad. I'm not mad. Like she was just like caught off guard that she was being confronted about overreacting to a kid's climbing up next to her daughter like i love that about your older kid's personality that me too he's very direct that's uh i wonder where he gets it from well it's just very clear but it's good and it's good to like call like maybe she was like oh maybe that was like an overreaction or maybe she's not aware of her inner anger with yeah maybe he really sent her on a journey maybe kind of talk about it in therapy yeah So I was confronted by this five-year-old and he said, why did you get so mad? And I was like, I don't know. i don't know actually. ah
00:26:21
Speaker
But I think that is a, that is a thing. People who aren't used to, i mean, we see, we see parents like this who are just not used to kids who are like direct and have a person out over the age of two and they have opinions. And if they just have one tiny precious little child,
00:26:38
Speaker
And they don't know what it's like yet. They just aren't there yet. When you're under a certain age, yeah, you don't realize what happens later. You're you're going past my daughter. I remember being so scared of the bigger kids when I would take them out. Oh, yeah. was little. i was like, they're going to. Trapple him. I'm so scared. Even though your kid is huge. He's beefy. Yeah. he He can take them. Yeah, for sure. and But it was scary. He was little a little baby snuggly boy. He was never like a little baby. He was literally never a little baby. but because And I can say that because my kid my second kid was huge was also never like oh teeny tiny little baby. My first one was.
00:27:19
Speaker
He was tiny for a second. You might not have seen him that. Yeah, probably. I met him when he was like... two months yeah i can show you pictures like before you got the neck control he was i mean he was like eight pounds or whatever yeah normal that's a normal size um yeah he did but he came out you know like i saw him come out of the c-section like like literally like that like because we'd been in labor a long time like he was like ready to yeah he's ready to yeah wrestle
00:27:49
Speaker
Now, i I wasn't really – I don't think I was, like, afraid of big kids. Like, I'm trying to think of when my older kid was young. You don't have lot of of um injury in general.
00:28:00
Speaker
You're not that scared of it as a kid. And they are good climbers. Let's make sure we say yeah every single episode. Maybe multiple times. Yeah. They're great climbers.
00:28:14
Speaker
So I trust them with climbing. But I don't – my first one – he's clumsy. Yeah, but you trust that, like, he's not going to be fatally – Yeah, nothing, like, horrible.
00:28:25
Speaker
You don't have these, like, intrusive OCD thoughts that I have where it's, like, I literally – if I don't watch him while you eat i like while he eats, I, like, picture him choking, like, every time. really? I'm like, I'm going to go back and he's going to be dead. Oh, yeah. Like, if I don't check every minute or something, like – the oxygen it doesn't take long for the oxygen to not go to the brain and then is that with any any food any food and if i can't see him yeah it's not good that's what i'm saying like he needs to be around confident people who don't think he's gonna die every two seconds like and i need to figure that out yeah yeah
00:29:01
Speaker
Yeah. Or I don't know. There's no real cure for OCD, but I guess we'll find out. I think that will get better, though. Yeah. Just time. Just more time having a kid. Having met the other women in my family, I'm doubtful.
00:29:14
Speaker
don't know.
00:29:18
Speaker
But I don't know. We'll see. um i think it's just like you acknowledge that the thought is crazy or not crazy, but you acknowledge the thought and you're, but you and don't give it any power. Oh yeah. Yeah.
00:29:29
Speaker
Like you don't do the thing that's going to relieve the anxiety. Um, to like try to control or like react to it or something. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'll go back to therapy.
00:29:41
Speaker
Do you think people would hear me eat this banana? Um, i don't know. how close to the mic are you going to be?
00:29:49
Speaker
I like bananas. I have to stop my kid from eating too many bananas, actually. Well, they're filling. Yeah, but if you eat more than one, it's like your tummy. It's not good. It's going to happen. It just doesn't feel good. give you a tummy ache. Oh. I thought you knew something.
00:30:07
Speaker
No, I don't know anything. You should never assume that. thought there was some like banana specific... illness that would strike just tummy ache I mean I put it in that category so maybe there's some there's definitely a doctor term for tummy ache I don't know what it is what a doctors call pain abdominal pain abdominal pain yeah you'll have some abdominal pain if you eat too many bananas abdominal does sound so clinical Yeah, it's just abdominal pain or pelvic pain. Pelvic pain. Yeah. that's They only give that one to women. Pelvic.
00:30:44
Speaker
Men don't have pelvises. They have abdomens. They have abdomens. Abs. Six-packs. Six-packs of blood light.
00:30:57
Speaker
is oh I never went. I think I was supposed to like go do stuff after giving birth. Like go see a like a woman doctor who definitely don't did you have what is that thing called dia oh diastasis what is that oh when your abs like they separate yeah I definitely have that and have done nothing still have that yeah 100% yeah I have a lot on my pelvic floor how many fingers can you get what do you mean it's like oh no it's just the ab like it's like I can tell that everything's all mess and like My internal organs definitely resettled somewhere else than where they used to They didn't put them back in the right – don't they take them out? They take them out. They put them back in. They put them back the right But no, they're definitely not in their original spot. They probably had some fun. Yeah, they were like, let's rearrange something. Change the puzzle piece. Be like, you know, have more of an artistic – they want to make their mark. Yeah.
00:31:50
Speaker
I remember feeling like somebody was like, you know, when you put a mop in a bucket? That's what it felt like? That's crazy. C-sections are crazy. I felt like I was the bucket and they were mopping around in there.
00:32:02
Speaker
Yeah. It was horrible. Luckily, yeah. they I mean, they really drugged me because the anesthesia wore off. So then they were just like, oh like I was out of it. Yeah.
00:32:14
Speaker
I know. But anyways, yeah, no, I remember after giving birth, I stood up and I was like, my center of gravity is like here. Yeah, I think I do need to do some pelvic floor stuff.
00:32:25
Speaker
But apparently it's like they like, I don't know, it feels invasive. No, it's crazy what they do. I'm not doing that. I'm never doing that. like yeah But I will do exercise. Like I'll do repetitive motions to like try to strengthen things, you know.
00:32:40
Speaker
But yeah, I'm never going to go to like a person that's going to stick my fingers. Yeah, no. I don't even want to get a pap smear ever again. Like I don't care. I'm like, oh, I would rather die. Then get another pap smear. They're making them less and less frequent.
00:32:54
Speaker
I also, I feel vindicated that I've never worn tampons, just as a side note, because apparently they're- Oh, I don't i don't do tampons. I have never worn a tampon. Maybe once. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do It felt wrong. tried. I've done it like once.
00:33:07
Speaker
Well, is there any other stories you were saving? was my boy That was my good boy mom story. We talked about preschool, kid going to preschool, so things are going to change, but not for a couple of months.
Preschool Transitions
00:33:19
Speaker
So we have some time before things change. We do. We have some time. And then time for me to find another co-host, I mean. Yeah, we can audition people. Even though you'll actually have more time than ever to podcast. You're going be like, we need to podcast more because and you're going to have six hours a day to be podcasting. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to get a job.
00:33:41
Speaker
What are you Somebody give me a job. okay Somebody tell me what job I should have and then give it to me. because I feel very lost. What kind of job would you get if you had to get a job?
00:33:53
Speaker
Writing. If I had to get a job. You'd nanny? Yeah, I would just like take care of my kids and take care of… Other kids. Yeah, which I've done for free, but I guess I would just charge people for it. Like I love watching other people's kids. I would take i would i would just take your kid and have your mom send me the $2,000 a month. okay Yeah.
00:34:17
Speaker
And I'd be like, I can provide a Jewish education. i have lots of books. I'll do it. He's two. What is he going to like? He's going to be three. It's coming up. I know. I can handle I can educate a three-year-old.
00:34:30
Speaker
Yeah? What would you do? I would teach it. Does he know? He knows all the the blessings. He doesn't know much, no he Really? He doesn't have to say Shabbat Shalom. That's it? we He doesn't know like Rukhazada? Like he can't.
00:34:42
Speaker
Really? telling you. am not a teacher. no. I will. I'll take care of this. will learn. I mean, they're going to do. We just need to light the candles together. Well, we light the candles on Zoom with my family. But why is he not?
00:34:54
Speaker
He's hearing it every Friday and he doesn't he doesn't say it? Sometimes he sings along like with random scatting. He probably knows it. he He's just doing something else entirely. well you Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Once or twice he's done that. probably does know it. he If he's hearing it every week. He might know it.
00:35:15
Speaker
He knows. You know Shabbat Shalom. He's always like Shabbat Shalom. I'm going to put it to the test.
00:35:23
Speaker
Yeah, we'll see. and We'll see if he learns it in the next year or two. I mean, I'm not sure how old I was when I really knew it. I don't know. I mean, I only started – the elementary school I went to, we start we prayed every morning.
00:35:38
Speaker
So we did like a bunch of prayers. But we learned them in like first grade. Yeah, once you're in school. I feel like you don't really start the the Jewish education until they're in school, right? Yeah, and then we'll just send them to Sunday school, I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's what you do.
00:35:50
Speaker
Because there aren't really – I don't think there's any Jewish elementary school anywhere near here. na It's not that close. Yeah. The closest one is, yeah, pretty close. I feel like what? 15 minutes – 20-minute drive.
00:36:03
Speaker
It would be in like West. K-Town. Oh, K-Town? There is none in K-Town. Wilshire. Wilshire is in K-Town. They have a school? Yeah. Oh, I didn't that. It's very expensive, but maybe you can – you have deep pockets. No, we definitely can't afford. You have connections. No, American Jewish day schools are crazy the price.
00:36:22
Speaker
No, we would need like a full ride if we went. They might give you a scholarship. They might. But then it's like – but then – Your kid is like with other, you know, they're only with ri with like very privileged children all the time.
00:36:36
Speaker
I mean. not saying all Jewish people are rich, but in LA they tend to. Well, the ones that pay thousands of dollars to go to a Jewish school. I mean, unless they get a full ride like us. i mean, we probably wouldn't be the only ones. if I don't know if they get full rides. I don't know any about anything about this. like I don't think they would. From what I've heard.
00:36:54
Speaker
they don't really give much money. We'd have to go to some external organization or something. But but at least with public school, you have a variety of We're planning on public school. i mean, my husband's a huge what you call it proponent of public school. Like, cause he wants it to stick around and he believes in it. Yeah. Yeah. it's a beautiful goal. is And also like it's shorter days. So he could go to school after school for the Jewish stuff if we wanted or like wherever. we Yeah. Or Sunday. We haven't figured that out yet, but.
00:37:25
Speaker
um Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, right now the plan is just to send them to the school in this neighborhood that's a great school. Yeah, at least for elementary school. Yeah. A lot of kids go to the – it is common for them to go to the public elementary school and then private for – For high school. Once they get to middle or high school. Interesting.
00:37:46
Speaker
See, I'd be more inclined to do it the other way. But I understand that people are scared about a high school. Yeah, and like the fights – Well, and just the influence, but they from my experience, private schools there were one way more drugs at the private schools. Yeah. Rich kids have access to drugs. And way less supervision. yeah right.
00:38:06
Speaker
Right. Because the parents are all working. Yeah, they're like gallivanting. They're on vacation. Traveling, whatever they're doing. Or they're traveling in their minds. They're all micro-bosing. don't know what they're doing, but like we could just go to their house and, you know, nobody was...
00:38:19
Speaker
paying attention to the like in high school to in the private. All those kids, but the private school, but not the the Jewish private school that I went to. the kids were all really vanilla.
00:38:30
Speaker
It was it was the not Jewish private schools where everybody was doing a lot of drugs because they didn't have Judaism to anchor them. I think our less neurotic parents. I don't know.
00:38:43
Speaker
I honestly don't know. i think my my year in particular was very vanilla at that school. I'm not sure they were all like that. At the Jewish school. Yeah, my class. is that the Wait, so you went to the Jewish school first and then you went to the other private school? I mean, it's just elementary versus high school. they were But I thought you switched schools in high school. I switched, yeah. My last year, i switched out to a public fine arts high school. Okay, with like a mix of religions. Of everybody. That could have been a UNICEF poster. It was like everybody from all around the world, different languages. Like it was incredible. it was the best. Yeah, like that's where you belong. I felt so much more at home.
00:39:20
Speaker
Because they were artists they were into the arts, you know, and there just really wasn't a lot of that at the other school. And there was way less pressure, academically speaking. Well, also because i had like finished whatever. The private school made you do everything a year ahead. So by the time switched to school, I had like two classes had to pass and the rest of the time I could just like... But then you could enjoy. could like doodle. The new scenery. Smoke cigarettes.
00:39:45
Speaker
and Just chill out and drink too much coffee. I mean, maybe not the healthiest, but...
00:39:53
Speaker
On that note, we have to go. Brina's kid has arrived. Podcast ended. Sorry.