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How to Make Friends Online and Not Get Murdered (with special guest Beau Schultz)
105 Plays7 months ago
In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko and special guest Beau Schultz embark on a candid discussion about the nuanced essence of personal space, astrology, and the whimsical idea of reimagining deities in modern society.
Tackling both light-hearted and profound themes, the duo delves into their personal needs for solitude and the significance of having supportive partners over 'fixers.'
James opens up about his daily realities living with autism and trauma, underlining the importance of understanding one's personal space. Beau offers snippets of wisdom on finding joy in fashion and accessories, which spices up their discourse on self-expression and the acts of maturing and finding happiness.
The episode also ventures into the realm of modern mythology, proposing a society where pop culture icons like Jojo Siwa and Drake could be viewed as contemporary deities, encouraging a reflection on societal values and celebrity influence.
Sharing thrilling insights into their astrological signs, Beau and James decode the implications of their Virgo, Leo, and Cancer traits. They also touch on poignant cultural topics from the perspective of queer experiences, making sense of community dynamics and the profound engagements that social media platforms like TikTok offer in forging genuine connections.
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Transcript
Introduction of Bo Schultz
00:00:08
Speaker
Well hey there sweet peas, welcome back to Friendless. I'm your host James Avramenko, back with a brand new interview with my dream guest of all time, the one, the only, Bo Schultz. Bo is an artist of an incredible array of disciplines. They're a model, they're a musician, they're a big thinker, they're a community builder.
00:00:31
Speaker
All that and so much more. It was such a pleasure to chat with them on the show and I think you're gonna love this one. So for now, lean back, get comfy, set your volume at a reasonable level and enjoy my interview with the one and only Bo Schultz here on Friendless. Bo Schultz, how are you today?
00:00:51
Speaker
Everybody come down, stop screaming, stop screaming. Fill out, fill out, fill out. I'm doing wonderful. I will say my handle is very, it's important. It's horse stat energy. I honestly don't know where it came from.
00:01:08
Speaker
I mean, I'm a cowboy. My other handle is cowboy bow. But I feel like I have the body and stature of a dad, and sometimes have the quirks and aura of a horse girl. And so horse that energy.
00:01:27
Speaker
It just, that's how it came to be. It's gorgeous. It's, you know, and it's funny too, because on Tik TOK, like you have your, your username, but you also then have your name and it doesn't like when you comment, you don't see which is which, you know, I think that happens when you're friends. Oh, okay. Okay. So, so I'm special is what you're telling me. Yes. Yeah.
00:01:48
Speaker
Oh, thank you. You're on the list. Oh, I
Identity and New Beginnings
00:01:52
Speaker
love it. So, Bo, we, um, yeah, we'll, we'll get into this deeper as we go along, but like we connected through TikTok. Um, basically from what I remember is like you commented on one of my early videos, we ended up kind of riffing and then connecting. And then ever since then, we've just been like popping up on each other's feed. And, um, and, and I'm wondering, uh, before we kind of.
00:02:15
Speaker
dip our toes deeper into that, uh, for listeners who may not be familiar with you, who, who might not know, you know, know anything about you. Um, I always open with a very blunt question of Bo, who the hell are you? Well, I am she's crunchy today. Uh, I am a multi-racial queer individual living in
00:02:39
Speaker
Vancouver currently. I just moved here. I'm a musician. I'm a photographer. And I am just a person with a lot of love. I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. I'm so glad to be on this podcast. Because I feel like I'm the heartbeat. I can be the heartbeat of a community. I can be the heartbeat of a group, a crew. And
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I'm just I'm just a big soft Aquarius.
Astrology and Personal Growth
00:03:12
Speaker
I'm a great Oh, wait. Yeah, let's let me dive into that real quick. I'm going to raise the sun. Okay, moon. Aries rising. And I'm a cowboy. I'm there's a list. There's there's the list. And where are you? Where are you coming from? Again? Just from Victoria. I have always just said, Oh, just Victoria, because you'd expect me to have been here a million times already. But no, yes, I
00:03:35
Speaker
I've spent little to no time in Vancouver. You know, that happens. I, I went to UVAC for university and I was on the island for five years and I think I came to Vancouver twice. And one of those times was literally at the very end. What area were you in? Um, Oh God, I can't remember. It was like Gordon head, mostly just around the university. Right. Um, um, I was just talking about it today. Actually. I can't for the life of me remember what's the really long, uh, busy road.
00:04:07
Speaker
Pandora sounds right. Yes, it runs all the way from, is it not Shelburne? Does Shelburne run parallel with it? Oh, yeah, yeah. Shelburne, Shelburne, I think turns into Pandora. Yeah, it merges into it. I was on Shelburne when I first moved out.
00:04:22
Speaker
Gotcha, okay. Riveting stuff for our listeners, the geography, the city planning of Victoria. But honestly, I feel like when you... Because I haven't been back in a really long time. I'm actually going very soon. I'm going for a little trip to Victoria. And I haven't been there in like 10 years. And it's always exciting when people know landmarks and I don't know, there's something really, really, really cute about that, right?
00:04:52
Speaker
Absolutely yeah i went yesterday just for my $40 afternoon for my mom's birthday so popped in we ate burritos she cried she knew that i was coming it was supposed to be a surprise but then my sister leaked it and then
00:05:07
Speaker
Still ended up having a low cry when, when I got in there. So that felt real nice. Hi, Maureen. Oh, if you're listening Maureen, shout out. Oh, sweetheart. Um, so what brought you to Vancouver? What, uh, what brought you to the big city? Uh, we'll have to dip our toes into that a little bit later. Okay. Like, cause, cause there's there, the, your second topic that we'll, we'll talk about is very much the reason, but the like.
00:05:37
Speaker
dystopian. No, not dystopian. Oh, come on English like distracting me. What is it? Where's the word? Who is she? foreshadowing the foreshadowing I will I will implement right now is that I spent the good part of my life like 2006 to now on the island and
00:06:04
Speaker
my roots are still there but my branches have outgrown for sure and so I kind of moved to kind of go on Bo's Big Adventure. I just turned 29 and it's kind of been a long time coming like I've been talking about it with my friends for like the last five years and then the last two I've actually been working at my savings and which is ridiculous. When you're paying a grand living downtown and
00:06:32
Speaker
still like trying to save money and living costs of everything.
00:06:37
Speaker
I did that. I fucking did that. So yeah. Yeah. It's my God. It's a thousand dollars for rent. Sounds like a, like a godsend. I would, uh, what I wouldn't do for that extra, you know, I don't want to say how much more I'm paying, right? But you live alone. That's true. Yes. I do pay the solo tax and I, I remain really grateful for that. You know, a couple of years ago I got divorced and I basically vowed to myself barring like, like,
00:07:05
Speaker
either cataclysmic collapse of my life or unquestionable this has to happen.
Relationship Dynamics and Self-Discovery
00:07:12
Speaker
I don't think I'm ever going to live with someone again. Not even a partner? No. Honestly, I think I cherish my space too much. I think it's too important to me to have
00:07:24
Speaker
go away in cave time place, you know? I love time in my enclosure. Right. Exactly. Exactly. I, you know, maybe the dream would be like we had like, uh, sweets beside each other in an apartment building or something like that, you know? Um, but like sweet.
00:07:43
Speaker
literally right exactly right you know we go over that that's the that's the fuck house and this is the see i always suggest like like a six bedroom and you get to occupy all five and then there's the one room for your partner so that's okay so this is the thing is that it's like i've always found that like one room is not enough you know and that's why it's like i need
00:08:05
Speaker
Like I need space. I need various rooms. I need my own real home because it's like a I have a lot of shit. I have a lot of books I collect dumb shit because I'm autistic and traumatized and so I just like knickknacks, you know and and on top of that like I also feel like
00:08:25
Speaker
I really like the ability to sort of like float between spaces unhindered and like unashamed you know and it's not like oh they can't see me naked or something like that it's more like there are times when I am in like zombie brain you know and and I need to like
00:08:43
Speaker
move room to room just to get my body moving, right? And I need that to be unobserved, you know? I need that to be just like private time, right? You don't need them guessing which crumbs they're sleeping on.
00:08:58
Speaker
Exactly, right? And as much as I cherish connection and I cherish relationships and when I eventually get back into being interested in dating again, I'm looking for people who are interested in connection, but I don't really want
00:09:19
Speaker
fixers in my life. I don't want to save, you know, I want, I want, and, and in my experience, I've never, I've never been apart with someone who either isn't just like outright taking or who isn't like trying to fix, you know, and trying to be like, okay, well, what do we do about this? And it's like, sometimes, sometimes there's nothing to be done. Sometimes it's like, I just need to be in this, you know? And, and I, I know those people exist. There's like, there's also an extremely fine line because there's like a level
00:09:48
Speaker
of a fixer where it isn't.
00:09:51
Speaker
Like somebody who's showing up for you and contributing to the experience and helping to soften the blows or lay out the pillows for you to have a softer landing. That's the kind of fixer that we need in our lives. That's what I'm saying. I don't need somebody that's like sitting there staring at me asking me what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong? What can I do? What can I do? Like sit, just sit with me. Sit with me.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Well, and that's that's just it. I was I was just talking about it last week on on on on my kind of wrap up episode is that like it's this idea of like if you if you truly want to help someone who's recovering, you know, like you don't ask them what can they do? You just you just be with them. You validate where they are. You don't try. Yeah, you don't try to move them away from it or or even through it. You just.
00:10:48
Speaker
be with them. And that's a really hard thing. I don't say any of this with malice or judgment for people who try to fix. I think that's a really beautiful impulse and I think that's a really beautiful spiritual desire to give to the world. It's just that more often than not,
00:11:06
Speaker
that ends up accidentally putting pressure on the other person. It makes them feel like there's something wrong when it's like, well, I already know there is, but I don't have the energy to get through it. So just let me just be here by myself and don't save me. What is your side, by the way?
00:11:24
Speaker
I'm a Virgo. I was actually I knew it. Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I love Virgos. I was talking about this with my sister when she was driving me to the ferry. And I specifically said how much I enjoy like just watching Virgos because this is going to make me sound so awful. I love it. Virgos tend to thrive on self sabotage.
00:11:53
Speaker
they love what they do is they turn the burner on. They put their hand on the burner. And they're like, Oh my gosh, why is my hand burned? But it's like, it's so wonderful, and complex. And
00:12:12
Speaker
Oh, I just I love Virgo's so much because sometimes it isn't intentional. They are just really trying to find answers like that's that's really what it is. It's like you guys are you guys are the scientists that are putting
00:12:26
Speaker
your formulas into action to see the outcome. Yep. They're the, um, oh my God, what is the name? Alan part was it Alan Parsons who, who like helped invent rockets and blew himself up in his, in his garage. Um, I think I have the name wrong, but, uh, there was a, there was a guy, he was like, he used to like, uh,
00:12:44
Speaker
Oh my God, I wish I could remember his name right now. He used to like dabble in like alchemy and like he was like friends with like Alistair Crowley and like, and like kind of dabbled in like occult stuff, but also was like the sort of like the creator of the modern rocket propulsion. And yeah, just a total fucking weirdo. And yeah, blew himself up, literally like atomized himself in his garage, you know? And I'm like, you know what? I love that for him, you know? Yeah, he came to get answers.
00:13:10
Speaker
Right. Um, as you were saying before, um, and thank you for riffing here because I was frantically looking up my, my cosign app of, so I'm a Virgo sun. I'm a Leo moon and I'm a cancer rising.
00:13:23
Speaker
Okay. Okay. And I don't really know what any of that means. Um, I know Virgo. Uh, I also know because of my birthday, I'm sort of a cuspy baby. Um, cause I, I'm born on the 24th of August. So it's like right on the turnover of Leo Virgo. Um, I don't know anything about what
Friendship and Community Building
00:13:40
Speaker
cancer entails, but, uh, cancer rising. Um, my understanding, see, I'm going to say this so that anybody, if he, if there's an astrologer, please don't
00:13:52
Speaker
step on my neck. But your son is who you are. That's your personality. Your moon is how you process your emotions. And then your rising is how people interpret you when they first meet you. Cancers, cancer men, they have, they
00:14:13
Speaker
they're very does your words guide me or don't whatever cancers love to debate they love to like
00:14:30
Speaker
They're like they stake their claim and the thing that they love like if their favorite color is red They'll tell you why red is the best color and then they don't mind throwing punches at blue They're like, oh and blue sucks because of this, you know, they're very much I radically in my head. I was like well blues the best color. So let's debate So
00:14:52
Speaker
Like that's that's how people first like perceive you when they first meet you is is that energy of a cancer. My area is Aries, which is like. Yeah.
00:15:05
Speaker
I leave people with long lasting impressions. And that comes from a fear when I was younger, I had a pretty big fear of like being forgotten. And I feel like that's like been a huge contributor to my personality. And why I tend to be so boisterous. I mean, also, like I'm six to I weigh four pounds, like I'm a huge being. And so it's like, my shelter comes within
00:15:32
Speaker
taking the air out of the room before anybody else can say anything anyways. Now I've heard it all I've heard it all. So that's like my Aries rising is very much like I've had there was this one story where this girl was like remember that time when we first met you threw a shoe at me
00:15:51
Speaker
I do not remember and I apologize. We're good to this day, but damn. Okay. Yep. Yep. Now. Wow. That's a, how young were you? Do you know how old you would have been at the time? It would have been like early, early twenties, like maybe even 19.
00:16:09
Speaker
See, I feel like anything, at least in my biography, anything from about the age of like 16 to, you know, if I'm being really honest, like 36, but like, you know, more like 29, 30. Um, I just feel like all of that needs to be taken with so many large, like rock salt, you know, like
00:16:31
Speaker
Yeah. Like big, big chunks of rock salt, you know? Um, just because it was like, I was unmedicated. I was untreated as I was undiagnosed from anything. I was just out in the world traumatized and not even knowing it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Right. You know? So it's like, I'm so sorry to everyone and anyone who I cross paths with in that 15 year block, you know? Yeah. I had a phase. There was a.
00:17:00
Speaker
Like a little local dive, you might've been to it because you lived, um, brickyard pizza. That was like, that was my stomping grounds. Like for my early twenties, uh, I knew half the staff. So it was just like.
00:17:11
Speaker
free beers all the time, like every so often I'd like help them out, like shred their cheese and make boxes and shit. But I've definitely apologized for that phase in my life. Cause I wasn't necessarily bad, but I was just, that, that was like my party phase and it was a silly, silly time. Yeah. I was intense, you know? Like I was just, I was very intense, you know? Yeah. Like camping. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Intense. Intense.
00:17:39
Speaker
Okay, that's our show. Bye everyone!
00:17:55
Speaker
So my core question behind the whole show really is this explanation of what does it mean to be a friend? And so I'm really curious in your perspective, what does being a friend mean? And because you are a brand new friend, I want to add a little bit of a secondary question to this that we'll loop out to of what do you look for in friends? Sort of like how do you judge if you want to be friends with somebody or not?
00:18:25
Speaker
Okay, well, you gotta you gotta sprinkle in a little bit of lore so that you can get get the full picture. I come from a religious background. I also come from a split family, and also like, like moving and so all that kind of like
00:18:51
Speaker
early, early, early life in Prince George where I'm from is almost erased in a way. That was where a lot of like my trauma and stuff happened and then I moved to Victoria and I was involved with
00:19:05
Speaker
Christian school and Christian church up until about a Christian church. Oh, spaghetti bologna is like, okay, redundant. Let's go. But I left maybe in 2016. And so most of my foundation of friendships, give and take are from 2016 on so they're very
00:19:35
Speaker
fresh and very new still. And I've done a lot of growing. I've put in countless hours because I lost my dad back in 2015, 2016 as well. Or no, it was a little bit before that even. Give or take, my dad, he ain't around no more.
00:20:02
Speaker
But, but that's like, that was kind of the beginning of the end of my religious career, if you will. And so I have very few friends still from that kind of era of my life, but the ones that did stick around and saw me through coming out and all that stuff, they mean the world to me, I've gotten to work with them in really special ways over the last couple years. But anyways, that's a little that's the
00:20:29
Speaker
a bereaved lore drop but um a friend to me or or what friendship means to me is like being willing to grow with people being willing to step in front of their path when you need to when when when the time is right and you have to like steer them away from something but also understanding that there is a limit to how many times you can do that
00:20:57
Speaker
where you can just remove yourself and just be there waiting with your arms open for them to fall back towards you and kind of like see them through that process. But like, yeah, it's a lovely game of hopscotch boundaries, you know?
00:21:17
Speaker
trying to trying to sort out like your needs and somebody else's when you're not in an intimate relationship and when you're fostering a sisterhood or a brotherhood or friendship in that aspect. I've got like the most wonderful core group of girlfriends. We have a group chat called swim team. I miss them so much right now. And yeah, we we have been
00:21:46
Speaker
to hell and back countless times with each other for each other and it's like yeah it's only been since 2016 but these friendships are like the the the big
00:22:00
Speaker
the big ones, you know, the ones where it's like, who's giving me away at my wedding and who's standing up there beside me, you know? Yeah. Sorry, that's a lot. No, no, no, no. That's the beauty of the podcast.
Podcast Evolution and Social Challenges
00:22:12
Speaker
A podcast is literally invented to just prattle on, which is, you know, which isn't what you did, but I'm saying you're allowed to. Right. I think that's wonderful. And that's something that I, you know,
00:22:27
Speaker
I'm realizing in recent months that I have, I do have those friendships and I do have those kinds of connections. But for a very long time, I kind of framed myself as not having that type of relationship in my life and always really kind of almost grieving it, you know? And I'm really curious in your experience, like how do you, what do you think are some like sort of core steps to fostering those kinds of connections?
00:23:02
Speaker
Finding the ability to like truly be yourself and that one has been such a battle for me. I knew I was queer from a very young age and I was still involving myself in the church and living this like double life. And so I've like slowly begin to peel back the layers over these last couple of years.
00:23:26
Speaker
to being more authentic. And like, I have the word facade tattooed above my knee to like remind me not to be a people pleaser remind me to like, be real with my emotions and and and my needs, which has been like a really, really big battle. But you really have to like own yourself and and own your downfalls and own your
00:23:52
Speaker
like good moments as well to to really like actively be a good friend as well like it doesn't mean that you have to be on every single day there are so many days where i'm just like in my bed and hoping nobody contacts me and and stuff like that and and there's also times uh being an aquarius it's like sometimes people will be venting to me and all i can really do is they're there like you know like i i can't fully be
00:24:21
Speaker
in it but yeah it's it's a again it's like a tug of war it's it's the hopscotch it's all these like kid references really um
00:24:36
Speaker
navigating friendship and like being there for people. Yeah. There's something really beautiful behind that though, in this idea of like, you know, I was talking about this with my therapist recently about this idea of like, he was saying like, sometimes
00:24:52
Speaker
when you're, you know, dysregulated or looking for like, sort of like co-regulation or things like that. He, he recommended sometimes I go to some of my less trauma informed friends and, and sort of almost like lean into what isn't an invalidation, but what is sort of like, um, uh, sort of like,
00:25:12
Speaker
He had a good word for it. I can't forget. I can't remember right now, but it's like, in essence, it was almost like a disinterest in unpacking or getting really deep into it. Right? Cause cause I have some friends who are really trauma informed. So when I come to them with like, you know, my, my mental illness is doing this and that we got really.
00:25:29
Speaker
deep into it, we really unpack, you know? But then I always end up feeling, I don't, I shouldn't say always, but sometimes I end up feeling even more exhausted after those conversations. Whereas if I go to like, you know, my straightest friend and I tell him about some kind of trauma and you know, and he goes,
00:25:47
Speaker
Wow, that really sucks. Uh, did you, did you watch the hockey game last night? You know, and it's like, and it's like, there's something really like gorgeous about that because it's like, it's not invalidating. It's not, it's still, we're still connected. He's still validating my feelings, but we're not like digging the trenches, you know? And, and sometimes that's really helpful, you know, to have those sort of almost like layers of friendship, right?
00:26:12
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I need more straight men friends. Well, no one does, but yeah. I think one of my favorite experiences as a queer person is drunk straight men. A lot of the time, a lot of the time you're drinking, you're having a good time. Everybody's just like vibing and they find out that you're queer. They're like, yeah, yeah, I did a gay once. It's like,
00:26:39
Speaker
Fun. Thank you so much for telling me, as the gatekeeper of all things gay, I'm so grateful. I see you in a completely different light. We're going to log that in the ledger for you, you know, we're going to go back to the big book and we're going to mark it down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those ones and the ones that are like, uh,
00:27:09
Speaker
I don't care that you're gay just like don't have a crush on me and it's like cut to them and it's that like Spongebob fog horn noise.
00:27:21
Speaker
I had a really fun one. We'll go sometime to this place called the Fox and this guy up front struck up a conversation with me. I was minding my business. I was outside smoking. He struck up a conversation with me. Halfway through he just stops dead and is like,
00:27:41
Speaker
something along the lines of like, by the way, like I'm not gay, so I don't know why you're talking to me. And I was like, Oh, okay. Bye. You know, like I just full on just drop the conversation. And he was so like, he was so confused by everything, but I, it was just one of those, like, where.
00:27:58
Speaker
Where did you feel like where did this compulsion come from? Where did you feel this need to say to say that? You know, men need validation. That's true. OK, that's true. No, that's a good and that's a good point. And I guess that is really, you know, maybe that was a failing. Maybe I failed him that night. You know, maybe I get a bit softer. But but, you know, there's just moments where, again, I didn't have the capacity period. And you're allowed to.
00:28:31
Speaker
How has this podcast affected you? What has been your biggest takeaway from all of this?
00:28:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's a really good question. I've actually been kind of contemplating it a lot recently. When I started the show, like the initial kind of gimmick of the show was every week I would interview someone from my Facebook friend list and we would, you know, talk a little bit about our history and stuff. And then we would unfriend from Facebook at the end of the interview. And we would sort of like decide how or if we were going to stay in touch.
00:29:10
Speaker
And then it grew into this exploration of connection and what it means to be a friend. And what I've realized is that that journey of the show has also really mirrored my own personal
00:29:26
Speaker
journey of self discovery in myself. Um, you know, I, I recently, uh, had a, uh, uh, psych evaluation. Um, I talked about this last week, a little bit on the wrap up about like, I basically was diagnosed with, with borderline with BPD. And, um, and prior to that, I'd been diagnosed with CPTSD, I'd been diagnosed with ADHD.
00:29:49
Speaker
autism like I have I'm in my in my stand up I'm working on a bit that talks about how I've been slowly assembling like what looks like a ransom note of letters you know I'm like cutting out all the letters I just haven't figured out what I what the what the demands are yet you know but
00:30:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's very Dragon Ball. It's very Thanos. Exactly. I got to collect all the mental illness stones that I can snap myself out of out of existence. But for that one. Thank you. Thank you. But so, you know, as as my own personal self discovery has gone on,
00:30:25
Speaker
the show has really morphed and it's become this deeper understanding of in order to be as good a friend as I want to be for people around me, I have to learn how to be a good friend to myself first. I have to learn how to unconditionally love myself before I can unconditionally someone else. And that is really fucking hard. And I get, because of my various,
00:30:53
Speaker
disorders, um, I can get really excited and impulsive about something, get really hyper fixated and then drop it and kind of forget it. And, and unfortunately that often happens with like mental health discoveries and things like that. So I'll get really deep into it and then, and then I'll forget about it, you know, if I'm not having that consistent reinforcement. And, um, uh, a couple of years ago, I got really, really heavy into Ram Dass and, and I became obsessed with the saying that he has of, um,
00:31:18
Speaker
There's only two things you have to do in this world, and that's love everyone and tell the truth. And that's it. And then the joke is, he's like, that's the easiest thing you'll ever say and the hardest thing you'll ever do. Because it's like, how do you unconditionally love anyone and everyone, you know? And how do you find a way to do that, right? And that really has become one of the sort of spinal philosophies of the show, is like finding ways to
00:31:47
Speaker
You know, because like
Self-Expression and Identity
00:31:49
Speaker
unconditional love doesn't mean unconditional forgiveness. It doesn't mean unconditional allowance, you know, and it doesn't mean you get access to my life unconditionally. It means like, yeah, I love you. Go away. You know, come on in. Right. Yeah. You know, I still believe in your humanity. I still believe in your your your right to, you know, to live and exist. But I don't need you around, you know. Yeah. And yeah, and I think the show has really helped me
00:32:16
Speaker
through all the different interviews and through all the different connections and through not only reconnecting with old friends or just meeting new people and having them and hearing their stories, it's really shown that, like, one, my experience is not unique and I am not special in any way, shape or form. That's right. Right. You know, and that's wonderful. Right. You know, you know, it's a thing of like, if we're all special, then no one's special. So what does it matter? You know, like, I don't mean your participation ribbon.
00:32:43
Speaker
Exactly, exactly, you know, because at the same time, too, like I, you know, just because it's not a special experience doesn't mean I don't have a unique perspective on it. And I can give that perspective. Right. Yeah. So so it's been really, yeah, it's been slowly but surely very encouraging and very reinforcing of my own kind of journey. And and I get to say fuck a lot, which is always fun. You know,
00:33:07
Speaker
I have a follow up question that might be fully redacted. Yeah, totally. Give it. Have you ever like burned a bridge after a session?
00:33:22
Speaker
Uh, yes. Um, yes, actually several, um, um, not necessarily like, absolutely not, absolutely not. Um, uh, some of them are still on the feed. Some of them are not. Um, um, that was also my follow-up follow-up.
00:33:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's never, you know, I would say it's never been like the, you know, the recording ended and then it was done kind of thing. But like, there's been a few where it's like very soon after the recording that was just like that, that that's enough of that, you know, from both directions, you know, like, and this is not me, you know, trying to play the hide mighty horse or the victim, like, you know, stuff played out at the end of last year and the beginning of this year that necessitated that I
00:34:08
Speaker
get away from a sizable chunk of what up to that point had been my whole social life and my whole community. And so yeah, like lost a lot of connections relatively recently and yeah, and they are still on the feed. So yes, I have and it is not fun, but it's necessary. I'm gonna go through all of them and then go through your following list on Instagram.
00:34:37
Speaker
And then start a counter. Yeah. I'm going to start a counter podcast, re-interviewing them. Follow-ups. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what's wrong with you? And why did you stop being friends with an angel like James? That's better. That's always the first question. Yeah. I'm going to start out blunt.
00:35:00
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's wrong with you? That's a good one. Yeah. So we alluded to it earlier in the episode, and I want to circle back to this because I'm really curious now that we've done some foreshadowing. You know, speaking of the sort of continuation of the show, this this is, you know, it's no longer a new question because it but it's it's new to this season, which is these these questions of community. And, you know, if if if friendship is the sort of like one on one
00:35:27
Speaker
community becomes the sort of outcropping of that or the blooming of that. And so out the gate, I'm really curious, what does a word like community mean to you? And then I want to kind of build out from there. Yeah, community is a funny one. Community is like a group of individuals. It is
00:35:53
Speaker
people like working towards a similar goal or, or, uh, similar interests, that kind of kind
Closing Thoughts and Friendship Advice
00:35:59
Speaker
of sort of vibe. And so it's where you find like-minded people, um, that kind of complete puzzles, you know, and, and, uh, community can be so vast and there is like, just with like race and gender and sexual preference and sexual orientation and all that stuff, like.
00:36:22
Speaker
communities are massive and yeah, I feel like no one person is set to live alone, you know, like we need communities that might, I feel like that may or may not be a hot take, but yeah, I just feel like a life of solitude would lead to
00:36:48
Speaker
a shit time. Yeah. Well, I don't know the stats. I don't know the stats on it, but I do know that people who live alone have shorter lifespans or expected lifespans. Right. Like we are definitely we're definitely a social, a social monkey. You know.
00:37:05
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. And so within that, within that sort of parameter, like, again, I think it's this idea akin to the, to the friendship question of like, how do you find yourself fostering community and, and how do you both like, how do you show up within community and how do you want others to show up within your community? Um, I.
00:37:30
Speaker
I am like a, I like to think of myself as like a Swiss army knife of a human. I'm, I'm like a connector. I bring people together. I've set up a bunch of lovely couples. They're, they're children born because I set people up, you know, I, uh,
00:37:49
Speaker
married two of my friends as well. I'm not ordained, but they got it legally done. And then I did the ceremony, which was really fun and stuff like that. So I'm a joiner. I am a community builder. I like to have people with different aspects and abilities and stuff. And
00:38:11
Speaker
The far fetched goal is like if I am to ever make a name for myself I have this back pocket of people that I want to take with me to show off their skills show off and celebrate them, as opposed to people that are already in any sort of industry you know like I would rather be with people that I trust and so.
00:38:31
Speaker
I find myself, yeah, doing my best to cultivate and build community and and meet people where they're at and and so community is very very important and I guess I can roll it into like, moving, moving for me was
00:38:48
Speaker
like it was a community issue. I don't have issues with like my friends at all they are so wonderful and those parts of those communities that I'm a part of just with like art and photography and music and and just like being in those spaces has been wonderful but the queer community has been a difficult one for me because being plus size especially in Victoria is just like
00:39:17
Speaker
not a thing i i have uh i i've spent my entire life yeah it's what what the fuck do you have to offer i'm kidding i i have a lot of wonderful twig friends i go side that yeah but um but
00:39:37
Speaker
like that being that I am somebody I'm Cupid I'm setting people up it's been an exhausting thing for me to be player one this whole time and I've lived almost my entire life single and so uh it was part of the reason why I moved from Victoria was because
00:39:57
Speaker
It's just exhausting. It's so exhausting to have this desire for love and community and to see it happening in front of you for so much of your life. And then also, because I grew up bullied and all that stuff, it leaves so many questions in the mind. So I decided to move because the queer community just let me down. There are great pockets.
00:40:25
Speaker
and wonderful people there, but they just lack an understanding that there's more to beauty than just the simple things. And so I knew that there are bigger communities here and more opportunities for my art and music and for just like the potential for finding a partner and stuff like that. And it is
00:40:53
Speaker
uh selfish in a good way because i'm at the age where i'm allowed to be hell so um it is i i understand that it is
00:41:03
Speaker
Like a little bit silly. I get it. Like, if anybody wants to judge me, feel free. Like, I don't care. Well, that's just it. Who gives a fuck, right? Like, I think those are beautiful reasons. And I think, you know, in my experience at Victoria was, um, that it was very much like an incubator city. It was a place where you sort of like, you develop some things, you start figuring out what direction you want to go and then you get out and you go somewhere else to sort of like, you know, so it sounds to me like you're just on the, on the trajectory you're supposed to be on.
00:41:31
Speaker
You know, I think that's really exciting. I had a really nice kind of eye opening moment at last Pride in last August in the Vancouver Pride, where I realized that like the queer community is much larger than I thought it was, you know.
00:41:51
Speaker
Sometimes it can feel very insular and very cliquey and very like small. Um, but there is a lot more than, than just, you know, a couple, a couple of people who show up at the birdhouse and judge you, you know? Right. So, so I think that's really exciting. And, uh, I'm going to an event there this Friday. Oh, I mean, it's, it's a blast. Don't get me wrong. I love the birdhouse. I just, you know, there's like, there's some crazy bear event. And so I'm just like.
00:42:21
Speaker
Yeah, I was oh my god, this is not going to be interesting to the listeners, but I was totally going to go to that. But then I got offered a spot on an open mic to do like to practice some stand up. So I was going to I'm going to go to that. But I may end up I may end up going later to to the event to the birdhouse. So we'll talk. We'll talk about it after. But yeah, because my outfit, you're you will die.
00:42:45
Speaker
Oh, I'm so excited. I picked it out last night and because it's camp themed, the only hint I will give you is Boy Scout. Beautiful. Yeah. It's going to be my first like night out here in Vancouver as well. I have been very to myself and very
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah. I, you know, that's, that's one element of the community that I have yet to really lean into is like really getting expressive with my clothing, really getting vampy and campy. I, I, I'm such a sensory baby that I'm just like, I, I kind of have to just like go in like comfy jeans or like actually God forbid jeans, uh, more like, you know, like, like Dickies or something, or just like slacks and then just like a nice
00:43:31
Speaker
calming t-shirt, you know, or like, or like, or like a comfort cardigan, you know, which is just like, so not the vibe, you know? I've been getting more into fashion because I, I'm like, I'm also, uh, definitely on some spectrum. I do know that I have diagnosed ADHD, but I am raw dog in the world, but I truly feel like there is some aspects of an autism sprinkle here and there.
00:43:58
Speaker
I have just gotten into jewelry and my ears are pierced and everything. My favorite part of the day is getting home and taking them all off. Sometimes I will get, I will be on the bus and I will start like, if I'm wearing my overalls, I'll just start tucking it into the pockets. And I'm like,
00:44:14
Speaker
Future Bo will deal with this, but holy shit, get this off of me now. That's so funny. I'm in the exact same boat. I only pierced my ears for the first time last fall and have gotten way back into rings. It's actually funny that I'm not wearing any right now.
00:44:29
Speaker
Um, but I have almost like a ring for every, not every finger, but just about. And, and I love them throughout the day and I'm always fiddling with them. There's such a good little, like, you know, built in kind of tactile thing, but also, oh my God, even, even though I love them so much when I'm out and about and I'm fiddling, the best part of my day is taking them off. You know, it's just the same as stocks and everything. Right. Yes. Yeah. I only just got rings cause again,
00:44:56
Speaker
Victoria is also like just not size inclusive at all. Yeah, I've not been able to find anything. And then I come here and go to a flea market. And I found this girl that makes rings, her and I are actually going for coffee soon. See networking, see Swiss army. But I bought three rings from her. And now I'm at four. So they're perfect. I need to find something that will go with my I'm gonna blame tattoo.
00:45:22
Speaker
yes um so i need to find something that will go with that i also just got this like boot and i just oh my god i love it yeah i love accessories there's so much fun that's the best part is just like getting to lean into all the fun shit you know accessories and a smell are like what really
00:45:39
Speaker
the outfit for me always, you know, it's funny, like on tick tock, I, I keep on getting these like really fucking dick headed comments on people, you know, on, on video, you know, it'll be something completely unrelated. You know, my video about like flushing with the lid down and people will be saying, Oh, I won't listen to you. Cause you paint your man who paints his nails and da, da, da, right. You know,
00:45:59
Speaker
And like most of the time I just delete them because who gives a fuck, right? Like every once in a while I'll come up with a funny reply, but most of the time I just ignore them. But really what goes through my mind is like, what a boring life you must live. How much you're missing out on that you don't even realize, you know? Like, do you know how fucking fun it is to paint your nails?
00:46:19
Speaker
I don't give a shit if you suck dick or not. Just like it's fun to paint your nails. It's fun to put on rings. It's fun to, you know, fucking make up a jewelry and like, like why would you so willingly cut yourself off from such a joyous expression? Um, you know, when there's not that many chances for joy these days, you know? Yeah. I think one of, one of the biggest things for me, uh, in my little,
00:46:46
Speaker
my little life, um, is giving myself permission. Um, because like I was, I wouldn't say I was raised strict, but like, um, I was raised by a black mom and I, and I was raised religious and stuff like that. And so there is a lot of handholding and asking first. And, and so over the years, like I've been slowly giving myself permission and like,
00:47:15
Speaker
treating myself to things like I love blind boxes, I love Sanrio characters. So I've been like leaning into that little healing of my childhood and, and, and stuff like that. And I feel like that has also just like helped be mature as like a human and as a friend is being able to
00:47:33
Speaker
allow myself things that I wouldn't before, may they be physical or even mental, like there's a lot of permission I am or am not giving myself. And like, when I'm refusing myself, it is like blocking from my potential and my greatest happiness, you know? Yes, 100%. I said that to a boy, I said that to a boy who's never going to hear this podcast, but
00:48:01
Speaker
him and I were like, there was there was something going on. And then he is in a straight relationship. And I know who he is and how he is. And so we recently parted ways for for permanent. And I said, I said to him, I said, I hope you learn to allow yourself your greatest happiness. And that literally was just me saying Europe.
00:48:33
Speaker
You can you can either cut or censor that because I know that that word is very, uh, uh, you know, but you know, you know, what's so funny is that like, that is directly related. You know, you can see in the background of my shot, that's directly related to like, I've started collecting action figures again. I've started collecting stuffed animals again. I've, you know, the same thing with rings, you know, like, yeah, like, like I keep things on me. Oh, yes. You know,
00:48:57
Speaker
like oh my god they're everywhere they're all over my place you know and it's like these are things that brought me so much joy at a time when I was being most traumatized you know and so by reconnecting to those things and and rediscovering
00:49:14
Speaker
that it wasn't all bad, you know, that there were these moments of joy and these moments of safety that for the most part I created for myself, you know, but like, but isn't that a great lesson too of like, yeah, I've always kept myself safe and I'll always keep myself safe, you know, and by allowing myself to not only collect action figures, but also display them proudly and openly and like invite people over and be like, yeah, these are these, you know, look at this,
00:49:40
Speaker
Look at my guys, you know? Wait, there is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. I see that. Oh, yeah. There's a whole there's a whole all four Ninja Turtles back there. Plus Casey Jones. I've got a bunch of horror. I've got Dracula and Frankenstein and Wolfman, Freddy Krueger, Ghostface, Chucky.
00:49:58
Speaker
I've got a bunch of wrestlers back there. I've got a bunch of like Rhett Hart and Kenny Omega and Eddie Kingston, the greatest wrestler alive. Um, and you know, and so it's just like, it's just, it's just, you know, even that allowing myself to vocally and openly celebrate pro wrestling, you know, like, this is, this is also one of the things that brings me the most joy, um, is somebody else's passions. I love watching people speak about their passions. Like, like, um,
00:50:28
Speaker
again, situationship, this guy was like really into cars. And anytime he talked about it, it was just like, I don't know, I don't drive. Yeah, I don't care. But at the same time, like I care that you do, you know, like, I it's so beautiful and wonderful human connection. I just I love seeing people get fired up.
00:50:49
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Um, I did it. I dated this girl a little bit at the end of last year, like in November ish. And, um, she did this incredible, just this incredible act of generosity where one night we were hanging out of my place and she literally asked me to like,
00:51:07
Speaker
walk around my apartment and tell her about every like piece of memorabilia I had and she and it took like an hour and a half and and and of course I'm fucking autistic so I was just like you know just going on um but like it was just so generous and and and you know she had the similar thinking behind it like as you said where it was like it's fun to watch people be happy and it's fun to watch people talk about what makes them happy you know and um
00:51:35
Speaker
It makes me feel like Winifred from, uh, from... What's that fucking... The Sanderson Sisters. It's a Disney movie. Oh my god. But she goes, focus, focus, focus, focus. Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I was like, when people are happy and passionate and stuff, I'm like, yes. Yes! I'm sucking it from them. This isn't about you. This isn't about me now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep, 100%.
00:52:10
Speaker
Um, do you find Vancouver to be unfriendly as somebody who's new here? I have seen those memes. Um, I even commented on a sea bus memes one time. This is really funny little, little moment I have. And I said, Oh, I'm moving there so soon. I'm really, I don't know if I should be excited or nervous. And then I don't know if you've seen any of Riverdale yet. Um,
00:52:38
Speaker
But, uh, Cheryl blossoms mom. Oh, no way. She comments on it and she's like, you should be scared. And I'm like, I thought I commented back and I forget her character's name, but I use her character to say, but I was like, what are you doing here? Warning. She's like the troll tool. Yeah. But yeah. Um, do you, do you find Vancouver to be a hard place to make friends or, or just like unfriendly?
00:53:03
Speaker
Deeply, yeah. Incredibly so. And I think that there is a veneer here of
00:53:14
Speaker
I think that everybody is terrified because it's so fucking expensive. And so everybody is so fucking stressed out. But there's also this, this need to look like we're in the coolest place in the country. So everybody has to put on the facade of, Oh, I don't care. I'm too cool for school. Um, and, and deep down there actually just stressed the fuck out. And so I think that that makes people deeply unfriendly and, and really, really, um,
00:53:43
Speaker
uh, cliquey, right? Like it's really hard to break into groups. Uh, and even if you do like, it's really easy to lose not only one person, but a whole group. You know what I mean? It's really easy to get, to get cast out again. Right. Um, because you don't have the same sort of like sunk cost fallacy as, you know, you know, well, I've known them since 2013 and I've only known you a year or so get fucked. Right. Um, yeah. Um,
00:54:08
Speaker
Yeah, I think that there's pockets of really beautiful potential. And I think that there are, you know, there's good people everywhere. There's not a uniform thing. I just think that there is an underlying culture here of stress and of desperation. It's almost like people are in a scarcity mode, you know? And so it becomes a lot harder to create genuine connection, especially when
00:54:34
Speaker
in my experience the people who are really genuine are also like so far up their ass with like frou frou new age you know
00:54:45
Speaker
white girl yoga stuff. You know what I mean? So it's like it's North. Yeah. Right. You know, so look at me. Look at me. I know stuff. Hey, you're getting there. You know, so it's like it's tough. Right. It's tough. It's you know, like I said, there are good people, but I I that my closest friends are people who who I've held on to through the years, you know, and we've just happened to luck out in being in the same city at the same time. Buckle up, bitch.
00:55:12
Speaker
that literally i that that that is so and then and then i will say the flip side is
00:55:18
Speaker
where I've made the best new friends has been TikTok. I've made a couple like Vancouver friends, yourself very much in this loop of like, we connected online and then found out we all lived in Vancouver. So it was like, oh shit, okay, let's be friends, you know? And so I've made a couple really close friends that way. Love that. Yeah, yeah. So like there's inroads, you know? But yeah, it's tough, it is tough. I wouldn't sugar coat that at all.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah, I am. I am such a community member. I'm not here to toot my own horn. And if I do decide to tell everybody that I'm on a podcast, and they're listening right now, fuck all of you for one and number two. I'm the kind of person that you can't walk downtown with because I will stop every other block. Like, I am
00:56:09
Speaker
a well-known person and that's been a really difficult thing for me because I feel like it comes with an expectation. Like people know of me before they meet me. I have a presence online as well and so they only see what I'm posting and stuff like that and so it has been hard for me to like
00:56:31
Speaker
indulge and have fun when I'm first meeting people because I'm afraid that I just have to be this character and so the anonymity that I have coming to Vancouver is really cool but also at the same time like I'm hoping to it's very ambitious but I'm hoping to leave my mark here because I've definitely left my mark in Victoria like
00:56:52
Speaker
You can't go there without somebody knowing me, you know? And so I would love to be able to foster that kind of community situation here, which is, it's going to take a lot of work. Yeah, but it's worth it. It's definitely worth it. And it's definitely doable too. You know, there's a lot of opportunity for it. So I, I, I'm, I'm right here with you, you know?
00:57:13
Speaker
um and that's really exciting like that's really exciting that that's your goal you know like i think that's fabulous and i think i think you're very much in line to do just that so you know yeah i'm not again i'm not trying to make my head seem big or anything it's just i i'm learning uh the the fine line between being humble and also just being fucking prick
00:57:35
Speaker
That's true, that's true. I do find sometimes that the sort of like false demure, the like, oh, little old me, like sometimes that's just as annoying as somebody who's super good. Yeah. But it's just like, it is just unfair. It's unfair because like, I'm so beautiful and so talented. So for me to also be a really genuinely good person, I just feel like it would be too much to consistently be saying that. That's so good of you. That's just so good of you. So big hearted.
00:58:05
Speaker
So I want to try something new with you. Um, a couple of weeks ago, I bought these, uh, decks of, uh, conversation starters. Uh, they're by Chuck Closterman who wrote sex drugs and cocoa pups. Um, he, he's made these two decks of card. There's called super theticals and hypotheticals. And basically they're just, uh, they're, they're hypothetical questions to discuss. Um, and I've been trying to incorporate them into, um, into the show. So, so I'm going to read you one and I want your, your read on this. Okay. I'm still scared. So hypothetical.
00:58:36
Speaker
You're dead. That's the bad news. But here's the good news. There is an afterlife. You spend the first 500 years in existential solitude, relaxing and experiencing pleasure. You pay no attention to the world you left behind, but eventually you look back down at Earth and see that this person is being worshipped as a deity. There are statues of them everywhere, and the world's most popular religion is built around their identity.
00:59:04
Speaker
What do you think happened over the past centuries, five centuries? Well, clearly I was the thing standing in this deity's way. And so I had to be eliminated first before. So clearly I was the world's biggest threat. So love that for me. Also relaxing and in pleasure, just like 500 years of nut.
00:59:32
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. I know. That sounds like paradise. Yes. Yeah. Living. I feel like that's kind of already what I'm doing now. Um, Hmm. That's. That's so, especially cause like, again, religion and all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. There was so many, as I, as I pulled it, I, it was the hot card of the deck. So I pulled it out. There's too many, there's too many variables. Like,
01:00:03
Speaker
Technology. Maybe we could say, who do you think would be that deity figure? Wow. I think it definitely would be some, some sort of media influencer that is like able to, to calm all the communities at the same time, which would literally be impossible. Like.
01:00:28
Speaker
like impossible. So it was, it would have to be, what if there was like an EMP blast that killed the internet? And so we were left with whatever the last thing was. Right. There you go. Right. You know, but we couldn't spread through the internet anymore. We just had what we remembered from it. And what if they like prayed with that like head whipping dance, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Karma's a bitch. Um, shit.
01:00:56
Speaker
What do I think would have happened? Who would it be again? Yeah, social media person or yeah, if there was a blast, if there was some sort of. It would have to be some leader, somebody that actually like took up. The dirt, you know, like I don't think people would let shit slide these days, like the power doesn't necessarily come from who has the biggest gun. But.
01:01:24
Speaker
For for listeners or listeners, Bo just did the most audacious hair flick. But. Recover, recover, recover. But like people are more more moved by. Who's with us, not who's against us, you know, like not putting down for power. And so I almost would wonder if it would be a harmonious
01:01:53
Speaker
thing. I wonder if, uh, but yeah, I, what if it was just like some anime nerd with like a store bought Katana.
01:02:04
Speaker
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I don't really know how to like, can you, would it be rude to ask for a different question? Cause I just don't feel, I don't feel connected to that. I don't feel connected to it. Well, you know, you know, what's interesting, like, let me, let me continue the thought with you though, a little bit. Let's unpack there. I think we have to stick with this one. I think we have the card, the card is the cards been drawn. We don't choose the card.
01:02:24
Speaker
Okay, and I think that like I think in a few different directions because like I think if you talked to me like 10 years ago I would have said like it would be like Tom Cruise as the icon of Scientology because I would have thought that that would have like continued but Apparently that that whole cult is like actually on its like last legs and it's really
01:02:44
Speaker
really imploding, it just sort of presents an air of security when really it's like, fuck. Also, it's crazy that Tom Cruise is the second most powerful person in that cult. Like, if anything happens to that, what the fuck's his name? I always want to say David Koresh, but it's not. You know, whoever the leader of the Scientology is, if anything happens to him, Tom Cruise leads Scientology. That's insane.
01:03:10
Speaker
right um but like so i would have probably said someone like that um but i think nowadays i think it's almost like i think there would be like uh almost like a return to like greek pantheon style i don't think there would be like one god i think that there would be like a whole field of like you know
01:03:29
Speaker
Yeah, JoJo Siwa is the god of this. Drake is the god of this. And I don't know other influencers. Jenna Marbles is the god of this, or whatever. I don't know. That's a really old YouTube reference. I don't even think that she even creates anymore. No, she doesn't. Ninja is the god of racism or something. I don't know.
01:03:53
Speaker
Mr. Beast. Exactly. Right. Exactly. So I almost feel like if, if there were to be like a technological collapse and we were building off of like what we remembered.
01:04:07
Speaker
We would return to a pantheon of gods. It would be more like that. You know, there wouldn't be the singular icon, but there would be a group because I'm with you. I don't think that we are in a society that like we're too fractured. We're too segmented to the point where I don't think it would be possible to have one unifying figure, you know, because even big figures are.
01:04:28
Speaker
to polarizing you know like you know you've got these freaks who are like daddy musk is gonna take me to mars you know no no no sweetheart no he's not right you know um right right you know but uh um oh i had a flash of a thought that escaped me now but uh yeah i i
01:04:52
Speaker
Religion's a weird thing. I like the idea of spirituality. I consider myself probably agnostic. And I'll use terms like the god of my understanding and things like that. I'm comfortable with that. I was also raised with no religion, so I don't have that part ingrained in me. So I can see it much more analytically, philosophically, metaphorically. And I know it sounds like you included. I know the vast majority of people have
01:05:23
Speaker
like lived experience traumas of words like religion. So it's yeah, it can be tougher to unpack superthetically. Yes. Very that. Have you ever read the play or have you ever heard of the play Mr. Burns?
01:05:45
Speaker
No. So it's about it's like a post-apocalyptic world and there's no TV. There's no anything. And a group of actors recreate Simpsons episodes from memory. And and it kind of goes from there. And and I feel like that's kind of what the world I'd envisioned. Yeah. Right. We'd like just retell like Charlie bit my finger, you know. Yeah. I was going to say, don't we already do that?
01:06:13
Speaker
Exactly. Quoting vines all the time. Exactly. Exactly. Make him wait for it. Boom. Boom. I mean, literally for 10 years, straight men just repeated anchorman lines back to each other. And that was comedy, you know, said specials. Like, hey, brother.
01:06:41
Speaker
Special news, special whatever. I don't know. Sports network. I'm not on to that game. At last I checked, it was still Borat, so I don't know. But there's some sort of new thing that's happening right now. Special, special teams, special forces. I couldn't tell you. Are the streets OK? You know, I haven't checked in. Yeah, I worry about them sometimes. Yeah, me too. Not really, but you know.
01:07:12
Speaker
I'm here for them. Right? Yeah. Oh, I'll, I'll, I'm an ally, you know, I'm straight out.
01:07:19
Speaker
I dabble here and there. You are magic. This has been just this has just been such a lovely introduction to you. And and like I just you know, I'm I'm I've only got the one kind of wrap up question left. But I really want to say like thank you so much for just like taking the plunge and just signing up for this. You know, like it really meant a lot to me and and your your
01:07:48
Speaker
You know, I wanted to say like your connection on TikTok has really meant a lot to me. You were the first like big account that like connected to me and was commenting on my stuff and like, you know, mutual then was messaging me. And it just, I don't even know if you realize how much it meant to me and like how. It was born out of thirst, dude.
01:08:11
Speaker
Hey, by any means, you know, so perfect. Perfect.
01:08:20
Speaker
But it was really validating. Even that's really validating. Thank you. You're very welcome. It was a motivating factor of like, okay, there's good people out here. There's people who are connecting to what I'm saying. There's people who are connected just looking at me. That's fine. I love that. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm really excited to meet you in real life. I'm really excited to see where this friendship goes.
01:08:48
Speaker
wrap-up question I always like to leave audiences with an actionable step so what's wrong with you
01:08:59
Speaker
But what's wrong with you? Well, I got a slow foot. That's that's on the that's that's the Patreon interview. That's the that's the sequel show. What's wrong with you that, you know, five bucks a month on Patreon. Yeah, actually, that's a funny idea. My whole. But I was like to leave them with something that they can try doing at home. So what is one thing you would recommend listeners try doing to be a better friend this week?
01:09:33
Speaker
Damn. Practice one of your love languages on yourself. So if it is like an act of service, like do something that you would do for your
01:09:54
Speaker
friends but for yourself like something I have a I have a very hard time with that I don't treat myself the best and so if I work on the things that bring me my most joy when when I'm serving others and and loving on others why why can't I do that for me so I would recommend yeah cook yourself like a really tasty meal take yourself out like
01:10:21
Speaker
Take your time when you're visiting yourself. We'll leave that there. Just find something that really makes you connect to loving yourself and couple it up with if maybe doing that for a friend as well. You heard it here first. Bo recommends you loosen that grip when you jerk off tonight. Loosen your grip and take a little extra time.
01:10:51
Speaker
It's not about the end result, it's how you're getting there. And you got to see it not as a task, as a journey. If you're janking it because you're just going from A to Z,
01:11:05
Speaker
Take a step back. I'm not telling my mom. Oh, you are magic. Thank you so much. Um, where can listeners find you? Where would you like them to follow you? Do you have anything else you want to plug? Anything like that?
01:11:26
Speaker
um you can follow me on instagram it's cowboybo underscore um i'm a film photographer i'm very proud of that if you are tiktok community it's horse dad energy um i'm trying to do better with posting and it's just my slice of life showing you what i've got going on um you can also listen to my one and only single it's on
01:11:49
Speaker
all platforms under my legal name, which is Elijah. And the song is called boy trouble. And it is such a bop. I hate to toot my own horn once again, but it's heavy. It's heavy. It's great. I love it. Oh, I'm going to put that on right after this. Thank you so much for that. And I will make sure all that is in the show notes. One more time. Bo Schultz, you are an angel. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
01:12:18
Speaker
Hehe.
01:12:33
Speaker
And that's it. Thank you one more time to Beau for coming on the show. It was just such a pleasure getting to know them. It's the first time we've ever talked in real life. We've just chatted on TikTok for months. And now that they're in Vancouver, we are finally able to be real friends. And it was just such a pleasure and such an honor to get to know them a little bit better. Be sure to check out all of their art. I've included a couple of links in the show notes to their music, as well as to their Instagram. So go check them out. They're incredible.
01:13:03
Speaker
If you enjoyed this episode, you know what I'm gonna say, please give it a 5-star review wherever you listened, and if you want more friendless content, be sure to sign up for the weekly sub-stack. You're gonna get 5 fun distractions for the week, these are gonna be anything from movies, books, music, TV shows, articles, all kinds of fun stuff, just stuff that I've enjoyed that week. A curated poem from my ongoing challenge to read a book of poetry every week for the year,
01:13:29
Speaker
as well as a curated monthly playlist filled with all kinds of random music that I've been enjoying lately. I keep threatening to launch my subscription service, and that is coming soon. It's just taking time to develop the full plan and make sure that it's executed as well as possible right out the gate. So rather than kind of getting ahead of myself, I'm just making sure we're really crossing those dyes, dotting those T's, all that stuff.
01:13:59
Speaker
Um, but please stay on the lookout for that. Um, and, uh, consider signing up cause it's going to be a lot of fun. I am absolutely brain dead at the moment though. So I'm just going to wrap this up here. Thank you so much for listening and I hope I will catch it back here next week. I have an incredible may lined up. This is just the start of it. You aren't going to want to miss it.
01:14:21
Speaker
I'm not going to worry about that right now and neither should you because that is then and this is now. So for now, all I'll say is I love you and I wish you well. Fun and safety, sweeties.