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The Seroquel is kicking in (reflections on June)
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This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko brings you a reflective episode from his bed, touching on various themes such as the June wrap-up, the struggle to balance awareness of current events, and sharing an idea to convert his National Novel Writing Month essays into monologues. He dives into his personal experiences and challenges, including feelings of isolation, dissatisfaction with his job, and the struggle to find time for creative endeavours. James also critiques the ubiquity of AI in the tech industry and its impacts on creativity and job markets. Later, he discusses philosophical matters about plants and anthropomorphized objects, and eventually signs off, mentioning upcoming essays and Pride Month plans.
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Transcript
Introduction to Friendless Podcast
00:00:08
Speaker
Well, hey there, sweet peas. Welcome back Friendless. I'm your host, James Avramenko, and this is the show about how to be a better friend from a guy who has no idea how to be a friend.
Unscripted June Wrap-Up
00:00:21
Speaker
We're going be doing a June wrap-up review episode this week. I originally had a script written, I had it recorded, and then everything just kind of went off the deep end for me, and I decided to throw it out, and instead I'm just turning on the microphone, and I'm going to talk for a little bit, and we're going to see what comes up. So ah buckle up, babies.
00:00:41
Speaker
Let's ah see what I got cooking. We're going to find out together.
Navigating Heavy News
00:00:48
Speaker
Things are actually going really well. if i be don't Don't worry, right out of the gate. This is not one of those, like, I'm going to just morosely, you know, Eeyore talk for the next hour or something like that.
00:00:59
Speaker
um It was more that I had originally planned this this idea that i that I wanted to, you I do eventually want to return to, ah but it just didn't feel in line with kind of what I wanted to be talking about this week um um everything in the news feels heavy and scary and um i'm trying to i think find a balance between acknowledging it and working through it and sort of um sort of clarify my own perspective on things
00:01:32
Speaker
While also not adding to the sort of dog pile of um uninformed, half-baked opinions on things. um i i I am aware of events in the world, but I am far more interested in listening to people who actually know what they're talking about say things about those those events.
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm trying to navigate like not just pretending like nothing's happening ah while also not trying to just sort of like talk just to talk.
00:02:09
Speaker
um Ironic, I know, ah given the context of where I am right
Recording Challenges and Creative Reflections
00:02:14
Speaker
now. Recording live from my bed because ah everything is so hot in my apartment and the only place I can survive is ah ah half naked ah under a single thin layer with ah not fans running right now because that would interfere with the audio, but but otherwise just sitting in front of my air conditioning and trying not to melt.
00:02:41
Speaker
But the idea that I had been cooking and I'm really excited about and I'm going to share a little bit about and then and then, you know, present the the the final product yeah in the near future is It started out a couple of years ago. um I think I have talked about NaNoWriMo before on the show. I'm sure it's come up and at some point or another.
00:03:01
Speaker
For context, NaNoWriMo is ah her horrible acronym. Is it an acronym? Is that what it is? I just forget what an acronym is, um but it's it's a it's an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month.
00:03:14
Speaker
ah Every November since God knows when, um probably the But there is a a writer's challenge to try and write a 50,000 word month.
00:03:26
Speaker
novel in one So every year, writers around the world make themselves go absolutely nuts for the month of November. I've participated in one capacity or another for a better part of a decade.
00:03:40
Speaker
um And a couple years ago, my ah experiment for that month was to write a new essay every day under the topic of ah sort of themes of friendless.
00:03:52
Speaker
So they were things like, you know, some of the titles were, you know, nobody cares if you don't come to the party or like how to be a bad friend or or these kinds of things. One of the essays that on kind of
Strange Months and Avoidance
00:04:03
Speaker
review ah of the of the manuscript was about ah first friends and the sort of idea of like, how do we get sort of sidled with our first friends? Because it's not like you have any autonomy. It's not like you really have any say in it.
00:04:18
Speaker
And and um and yet those first connections are so impactful and so formative for us. um So, yeah, I had written it as an essay. i was rereading the the the manuscript the other day and I was thinking, oh, these would actually make really fun monologues on the show and yada, yada, yada. But but but yeah, so I'm going to be returning to it soon. But but for now,
00:04:42
Speaker
I just kind of wanted to ah ah give a little bit of an update where I'm at, you know, and and what I got cooking and just kind of do take a few minutes to kind of reflect on the month. Because June, June's been weird.
00:04:55
Speaker
And I ah can't help feeling like I say that every month. I'm always like, man, that was a weird month. um But I think 2025 in general has just been a weird year. And so I think it's a very evocative word for for how I've been feeling.
00:05:10
Speaker
um Especially when i sort of sit down and actually look back and think about everything that I did. um I've been admittedly pretty sleepwalker-esque this month.
00:05:27
Speaker
i I have really dove into um focusing on my my day job and it's been eating up a lot of my brain power. There's not a ton of capacity left over once I clock out.
00:05:38
Speaker
um And so i I have felt like I've been kind of lagging in other areas of my life. My my avoidant tendencies ah from my my disorganized attachment style, the avoidant elements have been coming out to play a lot more recently, and I've been coming up with a lot more excuses to why not to see people, ah which has not been great, because... um When I get into those modes, the best way to get out of them is to see people.
00:06:11
Speaker
But of course, the gremlin in my mind is like, uh-uh-uh, they hate you. They don't want to see you. ah So I come up with reasons why it's better for me to just curl up and watch, um you know, God, what did I watch this month? I don't even know. I'm mostly just disassociated to the wall with with with ah movies playing in the background.
Attention Span and Movie Watching
00:06:34
Speaker
But... um let me Let me check my letterbox real quick. This is, I'm sure, fascinating podcasting to listen to. you ah Oh, I watched Spartan for the first time yeah since high school. i um
00:06:49
Speaker
I'd listened to a different podcast doing a ah Hall of Fame breakdown of Val Kilmer's career. And they offhandedly talked about Spartan. And I was like, oh, I remember liking that movie.
00:07:00
Speaker
And boy, oh, boy. is spartan an example of the kind of movie that is best remembered and not rewatched um um i guess i shouldn't be surprised uh mid to late career bell kilmer directed by uh already off the deep end david mammoth probably not a recipe for high quality uh but uh but uh yeah that that that ate up a couple hours of my life
00:07:31
Speaker
I tried to watch Collateral again. I've been doing this thing recently where um if I don't have to, I cannot watch a movie in one sitting. My my attention span is just utterly fried.
00:07:46
Speaker
I'm incapable of sitting and focusing on a movie ah in one go. Unless I'm like at a movie theater. you know I went to see ah the... the the latest Final Destination a couple weeks ago. And and obviously, you know, because social conditioning trains you to to to sit quietly and watch the movie at the movie theater, I was able to do it there. but But at home, I put a movie on and it's like I watch it almost like a miniseries. I watch these like 20 minute bursts of the movie and it takes me a week to get through it.
00:08:15
Speaker
um So... I don't know if collateral is actually a good, again, it's in one of those movies that I want, I, you know, I saw in high school, thought it was great. Then going back, um, it felt like a very jarring mini series based on the, on the way I watched it.
00:08:32
Speaker
Um, is this a thing? Am I, am I fundamentally mentally broken or am I just an example of the fundamental brokenness of our culture, uh, in the way that I am incapable of engaging with, uh, art that,
00:08:46
Speaker
but I guess an artistic expression that has meant so much to me through the vast majority of my life. Movies are such a formative part of who I am. of They were, they were catalysts for me wanting to become an artist.
00:09:02
Speaker
yeah And yet now I have so much trouble engaging with them and, and focusing on them. and And, and, and I think often about how like,
00:09:14
Speaker
Modern movies aren't worse than older movies. It's just that I'm incapable of paying attention the way I used to, you know. ah Before I had a smartphone, all I had to do was sit down and watch, you know.
00:09:29
Speaker
What was a movie I really liked? i really I really thought From Hell was a good movie. It's not, but you know in like the 10th grade, whoo that was that was I was all about it. um um But it's like it's all I had to do. was just like I guess I'm going to watch Underworld again, because ah what else is there? i there was There was the family internet, you know um and my mom was on the phone, so so so that wasn't an option anymore.
00:09:58
Speaker
And so what are you to do You're to watch a movie. And I just don't have that anymore.
00:10:03
Speaker
I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. Is this, is this, ah have we lost something? am Are we just, are we just engaging with media on a different, on a different level? I don't know anymore.
Job Monotony and Tense Periods
00:10:12
Speaker
um I just know that it is leaving me with this like malaise and this kind of edgy, um what's the word? Like, I just, I feel restless.
00:10:24
Speaker
And I feel unsatisfied with everything. um I think coupled with the fact that so much of my brain power is going towards my day job, which, um you know,
00:10:41
Speaker
I'm grateful to have. I'm grateful that my bills are paid. I'm grateful that I can eat every day. I'm grateful that I can pay my rent on time every month. And yet I also feel such a deep dissatisfaction with, you know, it's such a clear representation of what,
00:11:01
Speaker
you know, most jobs represent, which is just this sort of like treadmill of ah ah mediocrity.
00:11:11
Speaker
it takes us It takes us nowhere. where No matter how fast we run, no matter how how hard we push, the carrot is always out of reach and and we get nowhere. And so it's like I work diligently every day. I accomplish all my tasks. I check off my to-do list. And yet I still at the end of the day feel like I've done nothing.
00:11:27
Speaker
I've accomplished nothing. I've progressed nothing. No, nothing is going anywhere. And, and it's that, it's that malaise of having no control of the direction of my personal life. And, and so, yeah, i I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do about that, but I really do feel like something's got to give at some point.
00:11:47
Speaker
Um, because, Yeah, it's just, it's like I am living in a goldfish bowl or something. And I just, I just, you know, I keep on doing laps of the bowl and and being like, huh, nothing's changed.
00:12:00
Speaker
I'm more tired, but, but what do I have to show for it? You know, I paid rent again, big fucking deal. Right. um I don't know. Am I depressed? Probably. Who knows?
00:12:11
Speaker
Does it matter? Who knows?
00:12:16
Speaker
June though, june is yeah June is a weird month um but traditionally for me. ah the the the The May through July window of the year has come to represent a lot of pretty tough things in my and my ah sort of nostalgia windows. um um Different events happening over the last, especially I'd say last you know five, six years May through July has been has been historically a pretty rough window.
00:12:48
Speaker
And so every year i feel my like shoulders rising every time the clock, you know the the calendar starts turning over to this kind of window of time. I do find myself tenser. i find myself ah expecting the other shoe to drop.
00:13:05
Speaker
I keep on trying to remember something that Scott has shared with me in the past where he said, you know, life doesn't have to be a series of waiting for the next bad thing to happen, ah which is a really lovely, eloquent thing to say and ah and a fabulous reminder and also something that ah is so much easier said than done. LAUGHTER And so it is that that difficult process of embodying that. Right.
00:13:30
Speaker
um And something something that I find myself really getting hard on myself about is just these these feelings of, um you know, ah with the conditions that I work with, with with.
00:13:43
Speaker
you know, the intersections of, of this fucking ransom note worth of letters of BPD and ADHD and ASD and yada yada, um, is just the extremities of emotions and how one day I can be like on top of the world. And then within a couple of,
00:14:01
Speaker
hours i'm i'm borderline suicidal and and um and just the the the the trampoline of emotions that i that i go through and and the waves um really really difficult to work with sometimes um and and it's felt like ju june has really been a month of uh the the springs are worn out There's some
Tech Convention Experience and AI Critique
00:14:26
Speaker
holes. I don't know if any of you have seen the new Final Destination, but there is a scene where there's somebody jumping on a trampoline with a big rake underneath, and there's a lot of tension around that.
00:14:35
Speaker
And that's that emotion, that image, I should say, has really evoked the the feelings of June. i went to this ah i was I was sent to this um big tech convention that was being hosted in Vancouver, Web Summit or Collision or i maybe it was both of them. i don't know. There's like six different names to this one ah convention.
00:14:58
Speaker
um And it was such a bizarre experience because on one hand, you know, i got to see Dr. Cornel West speak live. um I got to say hello to him. I literally, you he was coming out of room and I was like, oh my God, Dr. West, you I love your work. Thank you so much for everything you do, you know? And he was like, all right, right. You know, but obviously like couldn't have given less of a fuck about me, which is,
00:15:19
Speaker
completely valid uh and also was being like you know valet by security to his next destination but um but you know i got to got to listen to him speak had to listen to him kind of talk lot philosophically about technology and that was really eye-opening and really impactful and at the same time too you know was following the ceo of bell uh completely talking out of his ass about about uh a big load of horseshit about the the the benefits of Bell being able to privately own infrastructure.
00:15:52
Speaker
um so it's a it's So it was a really bizarre experience because the dichotomy of of people getting together and the sort of the the excitement and the energy that comes from multiple bodies in one place interacting and sharing stories. And it was international. So, you know, i was meeting people from all over the world and chatting with them and learning about them. And, but having the sort of central connective ah theme to be around technology, which of course it being,
00:16:20
Speaker
The year of our Lord 2025 means every conversation was centered around the impacts of Gen AI and how we can make AI do this and do that and the other thing. And it's just so disappointing.
00:16:34
Speaker
It's so disappointing to see these spaces that... um in my estimation and in my experience have been traditionally uh places for imagination and experimentation and discovery and and trying new things and and and pushing boundaries in exciting new ways to see everybody just default to like, oh yeah, get ChatGPT to prompt that for you. Or hey, here's this new way to make MidJourney generate these horrible images for you. And who needs a painter when we have that? you know and And so it's just, it's really disheartening ah to to see that in play and and to see some of the speakers
00:17:17
Speaker
really push for that and i think that that has put me in a bit of a funk to be honest because i i have to teach about this stuff and and and and a piece of my work is is um helping young people find jobs in the tech industry and and to recognize what a massive uh influence AI is having on the job market, not only just for jobs, but the things that students are having to learn, um seeing how there's these waves of students coming out of the university who have been trained not to use AI. All their teachers have been punishing them and scolding them and shaming them from using AI.
00:17:59
Speaker
only for them to enter a workforce that is only interested in their skills and ability to use ai and so they've been just set up to fail and and and i don't know which direction to to guide them towards because you know something i fall back on and think about a lot is this idea within within dbt is this concept of radical acceptance you know is is when you When you reject reality and you say, well, it shouldn't be like this way. you know Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't it be this way or whatever? you know you're you're You're perpetuating your suffering.
00:18:35
Speaker
Whereas if you look at something and you say, this is what it is, to accept them accept something is not to validate it. It's not to say, this is how it is and that's okay. It's simply to say, this is how it is.
00:18:47
Speaker
The only way you can change something is by first accepting what it currently is, right? um And so, you know, looking at the the the the job market or the the tech industry or anything like that, you know, it's really disheartening and it's really disappointing, but it is what it is.
00:19:02
Speaker
That is the current state of affairs.
Capitalism's Impact on Creativity
00:19:05
Speaker
And so what I'm trying to, you know, kind of impart to my students is this idea that, like,
00:19:13
Speaker
it's but but From my perspective, it sucks. It sucks that this is the way things are. it It is not beneficial for creativity. It's not beneficial for the environment. The massive impacts that that even basic AI queries cause, you know the water waste, the energy waste, um these are not good things.
00:19:35
Speaker
And we know these are not good things. And yet the masters are demanding we use it more because they're all super excited about it. They can't wait. They're tickled pink by putting their headshot into Midjourney and having it be pixelated or now it looks like they're Van Gogh or whatever fucking bullshit. Now they're a Roblox or a Minecraft or whatever it is. You know, they're just tickled pink by this stuff.
00:20:01
Speaker
um So the masters deem it so and the the the that the servants have to to to enact it. and And so it is this really horrific reality that we live in a capitalist landscape that does not ah endorse or encourage um humanity or the celebration of humanity.
00:20:25
Speaker
um And at the same time, too, we have to eat. we have to pay rent we have to survive and the ways you do that in a capitalist system is you make money and i fucking hate it but it's those are those those are the rules of the game right uh because my other choice is die and you know there are days where i'm like what maybe but but But my pragmatic brain kicks in and I realize, no, I still got a lot to live for.
00:20:59
Speaker
um You know, ah but my fucking pro wrestling poems are still unpublished. So, you know, cant and fucking I can't go until those are on the shelf somewhere, right?
00:21:11
Speaker
um but but But because of that, you have to, you know, you you eat it's the really shitty, bitter pill of it sucks and you still got to do it because you got to survive. And so I keep on trying to impart to my students that it's like, you know, hold on to your humanity any way you can, but play the game in order to survive.
00:21:31
Speaker
And and i even saying that out loud, I'm like, I don't like that. I fucking hate that. And I don't know what to do about it. And I'm trying so hard to chip away in whatever way I can to these systems.
00:21:44
Speaker
But I'm just one person, you know? And there's no such thing as a great man of history. There's no such thing as a great person of history. No individual has ever changed the world.
Hopelessness and Community Building
00:21:53
Speaker
It's always been collectives.
00:21:55
Speaker
Even when you look at a singular person, even if you were to say something like, so you know, Sirhan, Sirhan, or fucking... ah Lee Harvey Oswald, you know, these were individuals. And it's like, no, these these were these were individuals at the tip of a wave of actions.
00:22:09
Speaker
um You know, I'm not trying to say Lee Harvey Oswald was, you know, there was some deeper, broader conspiracy. I'm saying that it's like, you know, he didn't manufacture the gun. He also ah ah wasn't, you know, responsible for the for the for the for the parade.
00:22:24
Speaker
He also wasn't responsible for, you know, sowing discontent in in ah communist versus capitalist ah political opposition, you know, like... like It wasn't like just some guy showed up and and shot a president. there was There was a whole system of events that occurred that led all those different pieces to that day.
00:22:45
Speaker
um um' I don't know why I'm unpacking that one off the top of the head example. But it's just this idea that like no individual changes anything, even when we we we look at ah ah the narratives that we've crafted around it. And so...
00:23:02
Speaker
It leaves me feeling rather hopeless. And I think this is something that I'm trying to practice. And admittedly, I'm not being very effective with.
00:23:13
Speaker
and And this is where my sort of June malaise has kicked in is this feeling that like, I don't feel like I have a community around me that is challenging me. I don't feel like I have a community that I can access that we can sort of collectivize and and and create impact together.
00:23:32
Speaker
um And and I don't know how to do that. um um And maybe that's sort of what I've been scratching at with this show for so long. um i But but but in reflection and relisten your episodes, you know, I think one of the things is that, like.
00:23:55
Speaker
I'm at a stage right now where I don't want to build digital communities. Because the platforms that those communities are built on are owned by the enemy.
00:24:08
Speaker
It is to me, and I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying that this is my perspective on things. It is not in my interest to collectivize on Instagram or on TikTok or on Substack or on any of these platforms because we, the people, do not own those platforms.
00:24:29
Speaker
And so at any time... the real owners can decide to either remove the platform, just like what fucking Musk did to Twitter, or they can, um you know, push you out, or they can, you know, whatever. whatever There's any number of things they can do. They can de-platform you. They can silence you. They can alter the algorithm so people don't see you. or you know um I mean, fucking the owners of Substack fund Nazis, you know? um And yet it's hailed as the best way to get...
00:25:00
Speaker
freelance writing out in in front of people and and offers a direct connection from writer directly to reader in a way that no other platform offers. And so it's like, where do you... Where do you go in this fucking hellscape?
00:25:14
Speaker
And and um my answer in my heart is you go to people in real life. The thing that I'm struggling with right now is that I'm so fucking isolated where I am.
00:25:26
Speaker
And it's not that, you know, I i have i have good people in my life. i have good people in this city. That's not, it's it's just that it's like I live in the boonies of Vancouver, North. nobody comes up to marble um um and and but at the same time too i'm not trying to get into what was me bullshit that's not that i'm gonna digress from there it's more about i don't know where to find the people who are doing the things i want to do there's always that idea of like if you are in a room and you find yourself unchallenged you're in the wrong room right and and
00:26:00
Speaker
what I'm struggling with right now is finding oh a finding any room, but B finding rooms that are filled with people who are doing things that I wish I was doing that who inspire me to do, to do more, you know, um, I'm, I'm, I'm finding myself so isolated from all those things. And,
00:26:21
Speaker
So I guess maybe this is a little call call for call for help in a way ah in that like, where do you find these people? Where are the poets hanging out?
00:26:32
Speaker
Where are the agitators hanging out? Where are the where are the artists just in general? Where are the artists hanging out? um Even like, where are other fucking podcasters? um yeah I know it's a running joke to be like, oh, a white guy with a podcast, but like, come on.
00:26:49
Speaker
there's gotta be someone out there other than fucking joe rogan and that theo rat face whatever his name is like there's gotta be other people aren't there like where where are you at where are the podcasters come on show me
00:27:07
Speaker
oh boy i i took my i took my uh daily seroquel just before recording and i think it's starting to kick in
00:27:18
Speaker
Okay, I got to try and like just pull the ejector seat on this because I think I'm tail spinning out. and I don't want to slip into any over-over negatives um because the truth of the matter is that I'm not in a state where I need to be complaining. I'm secure. I'm safe. i'm i've i've got I've been building this. Okay.
00:27:35
Speaker
okay i'm i'm I'm always hesitant to talk about my personal life on the show for a variety of reasons.
Romantic Fulfillment and Creative Process
00:27:43
Speaker
Historically, there have been... but issues with me sharing my personal life on the show.
00:27:49
Speaker
Um, and so I have been hesitant to, to share stuff, but you know, I'm currently building a beautiful relationship with somebody who, who I'm, I'm really, uh,
00:28:03
Speaker
What's the word I'm looking for? I don't know. I'm fucking head over heels. I'm i'm i'm really happy and i'm I feel really lucky and I feel really blessed. And there's this funny piece of me that feels like when I'm happy, it's harder to make art.
00:28:21
Speaker
it's harder to, to, uh, share things, uh, online. It's harder to post more consistently. It's, it's, I find it genuinely difficult to be in a healthy, happy relationship and be creating, ah content and art and, and producing.
00:28:38
Speaker
Um, and ah I think that's so deeply, deeply broken. and um But it really, it's this thing of like, I just, I don't i don't have time to to sit and and think about that stuff in the best possible way. That's not a complaint.
00:28:51
Speaker
Like in ah in in a sense that it's like, i don't I don't spend as much time ruminating. I don't spend as time much time brooding because like, I've got somebody to talk to who makes me really happy. And so I don't need to like, send out like, pleas for attention.
00:29:09
Speaker
In the same way. ah I've also been actively dropping ah my my therapy sessions with Scott. i've been I've been reducing the number of times I see him. I actually just, I canceled our our session this week because I just like didn't really need him. Again, in like in the most positive light, like he he really encouraged me to do so. he was He was like, you know, just go out and live. and so I don't know. I, again, I'm, I'm sounding nuts right now, I think to myself, maybe not to you, maybe you're following my train of thought in which case how, uh, but, um, but I know I, I recognize that I'm sort of sharing these, these, these polar opposite emotions where, you know, I'm feeling connected to another individual, but I'm not necessarily feeling connected to a community. And, and I, I'm not trying to say that that's,
00:30:05
Speaker
you know anyone's failing or anything like that. It's more about this idea of like I don't want this person to be my everything. And I don't want to be the everything to them. i don't Humans as individuals are incapable of offering that level of support to each other. It's it's why I think you know monogamous long-term singular relationships are doomed.
00:30:26
Speaker
um In my experience, if it works for you, that's fucking awesome. Rock and roll. I'm not going to say... you know it's just In my experience, these these don't work because... so much pressure gets put on the individual that they just, I can't live up to those expectations and I never want to put those expectation expectations on the other, uh, the other, you know, on my partner.
00:30:45
Speaker
And so, ah you know, I'm building this beautiful singular connection, but I, I, I feel unsatisfied with other elements of my life and I don't know how to navigate that right now.
00:30:56
Speaker
Um, um, you know, I, I'm sure I've got any number of tools. They're just not coming to mind, but, but, but, um, oh god i'm circling the drain here aren't i it's just a funny paradox it's a funny paradoxical experience of being incredibly happy with this connection incredibly happy in this relationship and also feeling this yearning for uh other types of connections um that i don't i wouldn't expect a romantic partner to satisfy you know um um i don't expect that kind of thing and i and i don't think people should expect those kinds of things from their partners um
00:31:32
Speaker
but anyway, I don't know. I'm rambling about this stuff and I don't want to go much deeper into it. So I am going to yet again pull another injector seat. I'm loaded with them. This bed is full of them.
00:31:46
Speaker
I'm pulling another and I'm going to try and just change the subject yet again into something else. I completely forgot to put out a call for any kind of, ah listener questions or listener stories. I really wanted to start sharing some, some, some, uh, some listener stories, you know, inspired by other episodes and and feedback and stuff like that.
00:32:05
Speaker
But I just completely forgot to, to, to remind anybody for it. So I didn't really get anything, but, uh, what I thought I might do is, um, go back through the backlog of questions and, um, answer a couple of of long lingering ones from, from, from previous months.
00:32:21
Speaker
um Just kind of ah have a little bit of a fun, ah fun thing. oh my God. My brain is slowing down here, but, but yeah. ah So I'll do a couple of listener questions and then we're going wrap it up. I don't need to be talking and talking and talking. So let's
Listener Question: Identifying as a Tree
00:32:35
Speaker
get to it. Question number one, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you want to be?
00:32:42
Speaker
My impulse answer is Weeping Willow because it's kind of the only tree that ah whose name is springing to mind other than like Oak. oh were fine.
00:32:53
Speaker
And I just love the name of Weeby Willow. ah It really feels evocative of of me as as as as as a spirit. um Also, they're Loki gorgeous. I love Weeby Willows.
00:33:05
Speaker
um Yeah, I think if I was if i was a tree, I'd be a Weeby Willow. If I was a flower, I'd be a bleeding heart. um pretty Pretty par for the course stuff.
00:33:18
Speaker
Trees. Plants. Okay. let me Let me digress for a moment. Plants scare the shit out of me, um if I'm being completely honest. I just got rid of my my last plant.
00:33:30
Speaker
ah It had been given to me by an ex. It was completely haunted. it would not die. it was this big, like, what are they called? Like, spike plants? And it just, it wouldn't die, no matter what. It just, like, ah yeah.
00:33:43
Speaker
and And I finally, finally got rid of it. Because scares the shit out of me, plants in general. um Just in the sense that... These are living entities that are so beyond our understanding of consciousness.
00:34:00
Speaker
And in the same way that, um, you know, pets are essentially socially acceptable, um Stockholm syndrome candidates, um, plants, I feel like don't deserve to be subjugated in the way that we've, we've, we've cultivated culturally.
00:34:20
Speaker
Um, It's it's just it's such a sign of man's hubris to rip these incredible living beings out of the ground, plot them and then use them as like display ornamentation.
00:34:37
Speaker
You know, i just think it's a little grotesque, um especially when like there are trees in this world that are older than Jesus.
00:34:47
Speaker
It fucks me up. There are trees alive today on Earth who were like saplings during the Roman Empire. Like it just the plant life is so beyond our comprehension and to have the audacity to. um to capture them and and use them as as as decorations around our house is just yeah i think it's it's just a prime example of of the hubris of man um so i yeah i got rid of that plant um
00:35:24
Speaker
For a different reason. but Totally my arrogance. ah but But yeah, that that was a digression. That wasn't the question. Weep and Willow is my answer. There we go. Here's another one.
00:35:36
Speaker
Laundry question. What do you think happens to the solo lost sock? Is it an adventure, romance, death, black hole, invisibibility invisibility cloak? What happens to the solo sock?
00:35:48
Speaker
This one I love. I love so much. I do remember having the myth completely busted for me ah when I saw a video years ago that was showing like...
00:35:59
Speaker
this this there's sort of like a second trap that they often fall into, and I found it so disappointing because I was raised in the era of Brave Little Toaster and Homeward Bound and you know just Toy Story, obviously. just you know I was raised in the era of anthropomorphized other things and believing that every object had us you know a soul and a calling and a yearning.
00:36:24
Speaker
and so... I always like to believe that when a sock disappears, it's because they are finally embarking on their great quest. You know, they've been, they they're like, they're like Luke Skywalker staring out at the twin sons of Tatooine, but they're a sock and the twin sons are the, the,
00:36:46
Speaker
rotator of the the the washer you know um and they're finally just gonna get out there and they're no longer gonna be encasing my hairy stinky feet they're they've got a higher calling and they're gonna go do it and i just i wish them well i say more power to you get out there see the world and uh and have an adventure And hopefully they don't end up, you know, strung up over some power lines or stuff like that. I guess that's more runners that you see. You don't really see a lot of socks thrown up on on power lines, but you definitely see runners, especially one runner.
00:37:23
Speaker
Who does that? What is that? Is that like, is there an intention behind that or is that just like, ah random occurrence that that i only notice because it's a weird thing to see when you see it uh but are there reasons why runners get thrown on power lines is it about gangs
00:37:46
Speaker
somebody tell me explain to me the deal with runners on power lines um my saraquil is kicking in and i think i need to wrap things up uh thank you all so much for listening i'm just gonna call it here look I don't have things
Essay Plans and Episode Conclusion
00:38:00
Speaker
to sell. July is going to be a fun month.
00:38:02
Speaker
We're going to figure it out. It's pride month in Vancouver. I know this month is pride, ah you know, nationally, internationally, whatever. but But next month is the extra gay month. um I've been working on an essay that I'm going to be sharing on Substack about the etymology of the word fascist.
00:38:21
Speaker
um It's a really, really fun history. um And and I'm going to be sharing it ah because of Pride Month. um And I raised some pretty, ah ah we'll call them um agitating, ah opinions on some of the ah sibling words to the word fascist that we should maybe adopt.
00:38:48
Speaker
in its place um i'll give you a little sneak peek uh there the the the root word is uh fascists or fascies um it's latin it's a dead language who cares uh and it was a symbol symbol of the roman empire uh a bundle of rods or sticks uh collectively strung together um this was known as a fascist ah There are three famous, well-known words that are derived from that term being fascist, which was coined by the Italian fascists in the 1920s with Mussolini and his cronies.
00:39:30
Speaker
ah There is the word fajita, which ah is ah strips of meat bound together by delicious tortilla. And there's faggot!
00:39:45
Speaker
which is a bundle of sticks bound together for burning. um And my argument is instead of calling the fascists, we should be calling them the true faggots.
00:39:59
Speaker
ah Happy Pride, everybody.
00:40:03
Speaker
Definitely it's one of those essays that could have just been a TikTok, but I just didn't want to get canceled and banned. um So I will be sharing that on the Nazi platform. um i ah the Nazi supporting platform, please, please, please. Oh, my God.
00:40:19
Speaker
Things are getting dark. I'm so sorry, everybody. Okay. ah Yeah. Be on the lookout for that. Sign up for the sub stack. It's in the links. um I need to go to bed. I love you all. Thank you so much for listening.
00:40:30
Speaker
I'm going to catch back here next week with a brand new interview. I've got a couple new ones in the can. I've finally kind of caught up to the backlog. I now actually have to do a call for ah guests. If you're listening and want to be on the show, please write to me.
00:40:44
Speaker
Let me know. ah And yeah, I'll be back next week and I will catch you then. But until then, I love you and I'll see you soon. Fun and safety, sweet peas.