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The Legend of Jack & Jill | B-Movie Bash! | #JY S3E29
64 Plays1 year ago
"A group of friends grieving a recent loss meet up with one another only to discover they are being hunted by Jack and Jill..." Yes, you read that right, "Jack and Jill" ......... It's just as bad as you think it is.
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Transcript
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00:00:00
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Welcome Back and Humorous Banter
00:01:08
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Hello. My name is Shannon. I'm Melissa. Welcome back to another episode of Hashtag. I'm judging you. And I found some more fun jokes. I did. I feel like our energy is interesting. It's weird today.
00:01:27
Speaker
They're filling frisky. Watch out. I've got a lot of pent-up rage all up in this bitch. Said bitch is meat. Yeah, Chad and got me caffeine. Yep, it's a bad thing. And we have a bad movie. Ah, we do. I'm so excited. We have a movie. I'm excited. We'll talk about it in a second. I'm talking about it in a second. We have jokes, and jokes come first. My jokes are an hour and 41 minutes long. Oh, great.
00:01:57
Speaker
Alrighty. What is green and has wheels? A wheelbarrow. Grass. I lied about the wheels. What did the mime say to his audience? Nothing. He's a professional.
00:02:19
Speaker
You know what still gets me laughing so fucking hard every single time I think about it? Just, I'll just be sitting at work, think about it, and just start chuckling to myself out of nowhere. And it gets me going every single fucking time. Damn, God, it pays every single fucking time. I die. And I'm just like- I can't tell you how many times I've listened to us laughing from last time's episode. Like, it's so funny. That was so good. Oh my gosh.
2001 Movie Plot Setup
00:02:46
Speaker
Yes, I'm not going to tell you the title of my movie just yet because it will give away everything and I'm going to explain it to you in the first five minutes of the movie. But it came out in 2001. It has a 3.1 rating on IMDB.
00:03:10
Speaker
one second i just realized i i never actually got the uh synopsis okay so but i'm gonna read it because if it tells you what it is then oh wait i just realized we never went we have to get that in there sorry guys okay where okay yeah i can't tell you the synopsis okay okay
00:03:32
Speaker
Okay, um, a group of friends grieving a recent loss meet up with one another only to discover they are being hunted by someone. So, okay. So, that was a beard. Okay, link. Okay.
00:03:50
Speaker
All right, okay, so we start off immediately. I forgot to check who did this movie, but a lot of the characters, a lot of the actors are in other B movies that we watched. So at least two of them were, so I'll tell you. But, okay, so we start off immediately with a woman running through a hillside, like there's a couple of hills and stuff, right? And she's dragging behind what I assume
00:04:19
Speaker
are seven to eight year old children. Like they don't, like they're not little, but they're not like teenager. Like I, they are not, they are in the, in the, in the, not exactly, but I'm assuming they can't be any older than, or any younger than seven. Okay. If they are, fuck me sideways, man, because they're old looking ass kids. Okay.
00:04:43
Speaker
Anyway, she's dragging behind these two children and the little girl is carrying a doll and the little boy is carrying a metal bucket and all three of them are wearing like gray psych ward clothing and stuff and she's just dragging them as fast as she can through the hills and obviously they're seven so they're like you know trying to keep up with her and the mother is like frantically looking over her shoulder as an orderly chases after them yelling out Kate.
00:05:05
Speaker
Okay. Subtitles say Kate. I heard Kate. Kate with a T. Okay. Okay. To T. T. Yeah. And, uh, but he falls down and he, I don't know if he just tripped because he was not, he was a grown ass man and he should have been sprinting full force after them. He looked more like he was like,
00:05:27
Speaker
Like, hobbling, so either he was injured before or he just wasn't able to move that fast. I don't fucking know. But he falls down and I said Kate because that's what it says here. Takes the moment to stop and tell the children that they need to go up the hill ahead of her and she will be right behind them. And they need to take care of each other. Do you see where I'm going with this? Do you think you know what the name of this movie is already? What the fuck do you think the name of this movie is Shannon? Tell me, tell me, tell me.
00:05:56
Speaker
Jack and Jill. Yes, I do! That's what it's called. The Legend of Jack and Jill. Okay. Okay. As soon as you said he has a bucket of water, I was like... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Or a bucket. A bucket. Yeah, just a bucket. Yeah. Okay.
00:06:11
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So. Okay. So yes, but she tells them that they need to go up the hill ahead of her. She'll be right behind them and they need to take care of each other. And she loves them more than anything. And to go up that hill and never turn back. Jack, Jill, she says. Oh God. And the twins take off up the hill. Jack is dragging Jill along as she keeps looking back at her mother and stuff, right? While Kate turns around and stares into the distance as the camera just zooms in on them. She was the best actress of the movie.
00:06:41
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Um, she just, I mean like her facial expressions were the best and maybe it's because I didn't get to see enough of her that I was like, wow, that was really good. Right. You know, but like, you know, but they did, they did have her just like staring off into the distance of like, like she's coming to terms with something, you know? Yeah. So yeah. And then 15 years later comes across the screen. Okay. And the same set of Hills. Okay. Hills. Okay. Like Hills.
00:07:10
Speaker
We have mountains, okay? They have hills. They're not like bunny hills or anything, but they're not mountains. They're hills.
00:07:22
Speaker
Okay. Okay. You literally can stand on top of one of them, look in every direction and say, I see the entire fucking world from this spot because there's not that many trees. I don't know where the forest comes from in this movie because it's like you look and there's like, Oh, there's like five trees right there. Okay. There's a couple of trees over there. That's, that's a little, a little tiny grove of trees over there and stuff, you know, but like,
00:07:47
Speaker
Okay, do we know where we're supposed to be? They are they they say Crichton Hill Okay, but um, I googled that in the uk and it's not oh, this is a british. It's a british movie. Okay, and uh Yeah, so I don't I couldn't find it and i'm sure they just made it up or whatever but when I tell you I have no idea
00:08:12
Speaker
What anything is or where anything is, I mean that from the most sincere part of my heart. What the fuck is all of this? I can't tell you a single fucking place where they are. I will do the best of my ability to explain these things to you.
00:08:32
Speaker
So, the same set of hills looms in the distance while we meet Janie Fleming, okay? She says, Janie Fleming reporting in into her phone and stuff, right? But more cockney than that, I guess. And she's a reporter and she's walking up to a pole with a bunch of faded missing persons flyers attached to it, okay?
00:08:55
Speaker
And she actually takes her phone and she states her name, that she's reporting, and that she's just about to head into the mountains and the time has just gone 3 p.m. And I'm just like, am I? I'm great. Just gone. It's just gone 3 p.m.
00:09:10
Speaker
That's a weird way to say it. It's so weird. I've never heard any other British person say it like that. No. So I just like, what part of England are you from? Anyway, it's fine. I always think too that I'm just like, man, none of you guys all sound like the same type of British and then I remember, oh yeah, you walk two streets over and it's totally different accents. So like...
00:09:27
Speaker
So it's fine. I literally had to be like, oh, shut up, Alyssa. You're fine. Like, they're fine. You guys are fine. You keep doing you. You're fine. I'm not going to be mad about that. That's that's the least of the problem. That's the least of the problems.
Character Dynamics and Drama
00:09:41
Speaker
Thank Bob for subtitles, though. I told you that. I'm telling you all that. Yes. Thank Bob. I'm just anyway. Yes.
00:09:50
Speaker
Okay, so she is going up into the hills and stuff, but like, yeah, those are not mountains and everything. And she takes some very quick photos, like she's walking and just goes like, okay, yeah. I'm like, no, that's you looking for a signal, bitch. That's not you taking photos. What are you taking photos of? It's gonna be blurry as fuck. Like, yeah, I could snap photos that quick, but it's not gonna be good. No, not on the slightest. Anyway, and she's writing something on a map.
00:10:15
Speaker
And it's like, it's a huge map. Like, I mean, she's got it folded and everything, but this map isn't just like, oh, I'm gonna go up this hill here. It's not like a zoomed in map of like this little area. It's a map. Like a whole ass area. Of like the whole.
00:10:31
Speaker
Countryside that they're in not just like oh these are because you know you can go to some of the national parks And they'll be like here's our hiking trails right okay, or you can go to the gas station and buy a state map That's what it looks like was a state fucking map of like every road that exists on a map, okay?
00:10:46
Speaker
Okay. So I don't, it's got every fucking trailer, whatever. Anyway, that's not, but she's like writing on this map and she gets on the phone telling, I don't know who she calls cause they never, maybe she said their name. I didn't understand it. It kept cutting out. Like the subtitles would just like not pop up. And I was like, you know, that person is like,
00:11:04
Speaker
I don't know. No, I got nothing. I don't know. Inaudible. I don't know. Yup. Mmm. They just didn't do anything because they were like, because she's like, I just have a hair. She's like, what the hell? I was like, uh, hell. Hell. I got hell. Yup. Yup. It's that same, like that fucking chocolate song that I love. Yes. You know? Yup. We were like, so I was like, chocolate. Yeah. You know? Like, just a little bit. Gonna sit on her own petticoat.
00:11:33
Speaker
And I'm like, I don't know, I'm like, but no. It's a great fucking song, guys. It's a great song. It's so good. I love the 1975. But what do they say? I don't know. Same fucking thing. Tash Sultana, I think is her name. Sure. Tash.
00:11:48
Speaker
Anyway, she is like she's kind of reggae but not reggae like it's like she's hard to put down She's super like hippie and stuff, but she's up there like But it hits your soul like nothing fucking else But better than that like it's so but like but that kind of vibe Anyway, she's great. Anyway, okay
00:12:12
Speaker
Okay, so she's on the phone and she's telling whoever it is that she's talking to on the phone that she's not gonna find a story out of this. That she's been walking out here for a while and has found nothing. And that there's, I don't know how long she was walking for because it seemed to me like she was like, oh well, better walk up this path. And she walks up the path and gets to the top of the hill and it's like,
00:12:34
Speaker
There's nothing fucking up here like which is I'm sure how they filmed it. Yeah, but like I could have told you that from the bottom of right here They literally could have just like shown this movie is so long for no reason and they could have made just the smallest of montages of her just like hiking and looking and taking pictures and then Just in a slightly different area of her hiking and walking and looking and stuff They literally it could have been 10 seconds long of that and I would have been like man. She's been hiking for
00:13:03
Speaker
Fucking hours, you know, like they could have had they could have had her hair started off down and stuff and then she's got Putting it up in a ponytail because she's frustrated like there's so many taking off her jacket. She's just like yes, man drinking a water bottle and just like
00:13:18
Speaker
I've got not, you know, anything could have made it seem like she was walking and time had passed and time had not passed. Anyway, but she's like, I've been out here forever and I found nothing and there's no wild creatures in the UK. But she realized that it's actually quite easy for someone to get lost out here on the hillside with a house in the distance.
00:13:41
Speaker
But in a map in your pocket and literally walk in any direction and you'll find something is what I said. I said it's the UK. It's not that big. Yeah, like walk for 10 minutes. Yeah, you'll find something or someone. Yeah, so she's looking for wild animals. I think she's looking for the reason why people are going missing in this area. Not that they tell you that. Oh, that's just what I assumed because she stopped to look at the missing persons for it.
00:14:05
Speaker
which again is another one of those like showing not telling but sometimes you need a little more than that than just the tiny but anyway uh but the phone cuts out and she and she's annoyed because she doesn't have that much of a signal i'll give her that throughout on the countryside it's fucking the uk in the countryside
00:14:23
Speaker
Makes sense. Makes sense. They're hiking, okay? And she keeps walking and she like gets into this little kind of foresty area and she finds a metal bucket and looks it over and but doesn't think much of it and just like sets it back down in the same spot. And she continues on her way when she hears some rustling sounds and starts getting like really jumpy and stuff, right? She starts walking more into the woods and these the scene just went on for so long.
00:14:48
Speaker
So long okay, and she finds an old doll which is Jill's doll sitting on like a tree stump so far away from where anything else is that happens in the movie, but anyway She's heading deeper into the forest. She keeps hearing rustlings and stuff and someone is very like clearly like Behind her you very clearly see Jack or Jill. I can't remember which one it was moving behind her okay, and she just clings to a tree Okay, wouldn't you?
00:15:16
Speaker
And so obviously right and then another person I think that one was Jill runs behind her and she doesn't turn around okay like if you were facing the other direction they're like Behind her like they're not even like just like peeking out for trying to be quiet. Yeah, they are full-blown just like Moving through the woods and she is they're moving here and she's like oh
00:15:45
Speaker
She doesn't even like glance over her shoulder and there's nothing there, nothing. Because you know that they, how they were filming it and how Jack and Jill were like, fuck shit. Yeah, through the bush. That she would have seen them and would have like, ah, and ran. Yes. Okay. The most atrocious thing about her though, is that here's a tree. Okay. This is a tree. Okay. She would be like,
00:16:13
Speaker
like her fault like just anything to avoid turning around okay and like she's just clinging to the tree and
00:16:26
Speaker
Okay, I'm fucking dying from it. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm having an aneurysm. Like there's no, people, alien Nicole gave her some directional advice in this because there's no fucking way Ms. Janie Fleming that that is how a human being actually works. Okay, like people don't do that though. People do not do that unless they are completely delirious and they're just like,
00:16:48
Speaker
oh a tree oh my gosh a tree like i can lean on that i there's something here i can hang on to unless you're fucking blind or delirious you're not doing that shit i don't know what this was are you blind you're blind
00:17:08
Speaker
I don't know, but that was her. It was full body contact with the tree and shimmying her back against it. Another girl does it later on in the movie and I'm just like,
00:17:24
Speaker
Poppy told them to do that. Poppy in the face. Anyway, fist fight. So she moves from another tree only to turn around and be stabbed and then she's kicked over. So Jill stabs her and then Jack kicks her over and they, I have to show you what they look like because as children, they were children. Right. Okay.
00:17:48
Speaker
Are they adult? Are they adults? Yes. They are adults. Okay. This, this is what they look like now. I need a better, okay. Tell me why she looks like a fucking zombie. Zombie. Like with the Neanderthal forehead. Yeah. Okay. Like a la, um, caveman Geico commercial. Yeah. Okay. That's fair for sure.
00:18:13
Speaker
he's got I don't I could I could put up with like he's got weird just anyway but I need to show you his they're supposed to be like wildlings yeah but like but you're there's no fucking here you go here's here's Jack
00:18:27
Speaker
Uh, why? I don't know. I don't know why they needed the prosthetics to make them, okay? We'll kind of maybe get there later. I don't know. I don't know, okay? They looked normal as children. They looked normal as children, okay? Okay. Okay. Like there was no makeup done to the children to make them look like they were, you know, like deformed children and babies or whatever, you know, nothing.
00:18:52
Speaker
they were children the wild has changed i guess i didn't realize the wild gave you neanderthal brain okay all right i mean when you're not you know not around people and you're not
00:19:04
Speaker
You're just out in the wild. You're with your brother. And I'm not saying that that's the perfect company or whatever, but it should keep you sane. Yeah, it should keep you sane. Maybe you both go a tiny bit cuckoo, but you wouldn't be growing a protruding forehead and soaking in eyes and hood it around. Anyway, okay? Okay.
00:19:25
Speaker
So yeah, I straight up from the man from the Geico commercials and Jill brings down the axe that she has in her hand. Okay. In a way that no human being has ever used an axe before in their entire life. And I filmed this one for you. So you, you best be ready. And I apologize. It was not the best. You know what? Fuck it. I have it on my phone. Find you that scene real quick. It was that whole little scene for you right there. Okay.
00:19:56
Speaker
So she just got stabbed. He's kicking her over. And they are humming, I did not realize, okay? They are humming the Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water. That's a song? No. No. It's not. It's not.
00:20:13
Speaker
It's just a nursery rhyme. Yeah. It's not a song. As far as I'm aware, I don't know what the Brits do. I've never sang it. Have you ever actually listened to the full Jack and Jill? I know there is more of it, but I don't know if I've heard all of it. Yeah, Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack falls down, broke his crown, Jill came tumbling after. So Jack goes home and fixes his head up with fucking vinegar and brown paper.
00:20:37
Speaker
Because he broke his head open or some shit and then Jill comes home giggling about it and her mom beats her with a whip For getting her brother in trouble. Oh Okay, I did my research So anyway, so they're humming the Jack and Jill song sure
00:21:00
Speaker
Do you want it? Do you want to see that real quick? Do you want to like frame by frame that okay? She brings that up Down towards her head to the point that Jack even has to move his head. Oh my god
00:21:13
Speaker
she swings that so far I don't even know how to describe that I don't even know how to describe that it's like she she brings it up behind her shoulder on her right side Jack is standing to her left and then swings it like over her head to the point that it almost clocks Jack in the head he has to lean his head to the left to not get hit in the head with an axe with an axe
00:21:37
Speaker
broadside of course but like still still that's a metal thing coming to hit you in the head okay okay so and of course she dies she screams out right and yeah the title screen pops up so the screen changes to a young woman with the ugliest manicure I've ever seen in my life so I call her ugly now it's actually not the ugliest I've ever seen it's pretty bad though so I call her ugly nails throughout the movie because it takes me
00:22:02
Speaker
14 minutes into the movie to know what her name is. Good. It takes 33 minutes to learn the other two girls' names. Jeez.
Themes of Grief and Mental Health
00:22:12
Speaker
So, I'm going to call them what I called them in my notes. Okay. Okay? Okay. So, Ugly Nails is standing there looking down at a silver locket of her and a man and she's crying, right? Okay. She just keeps like...
00:22:28
Speaker
when a car pulls up. And a young woman jokingly rows down the window and asks if she needs a lift. And I call her Driver.
00:22:37
Speaker
because there's no other, like she's a brunette, but so is Ugly Nails. Like I just, I couldn't think of any other descriptor other than Driver Girl, like she's Driver Girl for the most part, okay? So the Driver Girl asks first girl, Ugly Nails, if she's been waiting long. First chick in the dumb one. Yeah. And she's like, oh yeah, have you been waiting long? And she's like, well, about an hour. And Driver Girl apologizes saying that she took a wrong turn off the motorway.
00:23:06
Speaker
And Ugly Nails replies, sure. You're fun. Both of you are fun. I don't know which one did not like yet. It's both of them. Spoiler. It's not entirely true. I like Driver Girl more than I like the main girl. And the Driver Girl says with a cheerful smile that she feels like they've been trying to organize this for so long. And the first girl replies, yeah, seems like we've been trying to get the six of us.
00:23:30
Speaker
Five of us together is pretty hard and stuff. And Driver Girl replies that he'll be missed, babe. Ugly Nails responds that she hopes that she's not going to bring everyone else down and the Driver Girl tells her not to be silly. They're all here for her. They all lost a friend, but Ugly Nails lost more. They pull over and cry for a little bit.
00:23:53
Speaker
And Driver Girl apologizing for not being there for her more and that she didn't realize it was affecting Ugly Nails as much as it has been. And Ugly Nails says twice that she doesn't blame her or anyone else. And that she doesn't blame her or anyone else. She's like, no, I don't blame you or anyone else and stuff. She's like, I just didn't know. She's like, I don't blame you or anyone else. And I'm like, good, good, good.
00:24:18
Speaker
Could have edited that a little bit better, guys. Maybe take two. Just saying. Anyway, it's fine. And none of them could have stopped her from doing what she had done, right? And I was like, did you murder him? Is that what it was? No, that's not it. Driver Girl says that any time Ugly Nails feels like she's being pulled into the darkness to just take her hand and she'll help put her into the light again. And Ugly Nails chuckles a little saying that sounds like something Lulu would say. I was like, I don't know who Lulu is. Nope.
00:24:47
Speaker
But anyway, and they all chuckle a little and Driver says that she loves her and there's strength and unity, right? And they should keep driving as the others are probably at Crichton Hill already. And I had to read the subtitles because she's like, I was like, the fuck did you just say? So the two drive off again and are going into the countryside and we see that their three friends are waiting for them. And Driver tells Ugly Nails that if it ever gets too tough for her to let her know and they'll all be here for her.
00:25:17
Speaker
And they hurry out and they all hug one another. And we meet blonde girl, the teacher from Cupid, y'all. The blonde teacher from Cupid, y'all. So she's here. The one that had a thing with the other teacher. He was like, she was like, we need to wait for us to be quiet or like private. And there's that one lady who was just like, like, it's just, you know, it's. Yeah. One time they didn't have privacy. Yeah.
00:25:44
Speaker
Anyway, we meet a guy in a guy in stupid hat and I called him stupid hat for a second, but we learned his name fairly quickly. And then hot guy who happens to be the hot baby daddy from spider in the attic that dies in the bathroom.
00:26:02
Speaker
Oh, big buff boyfriend, guys? The big buff boyfriend, yep. Okay. Okay. I was so much more on his side of the movie than anyone else's. Okay. So, and Greg. Greg's stupid hat. Sorry, I said his name. He says his name really quickly. So, I was Team Danny, I was Team Greg, and not just Team Greg and Danny. His name is Danny again? Is it Danny again? No, it was David. Oh. It was David and the other one, but still.
00:26:27
Speaker
No it was Danny in the other one. Was it? Yeah because she says Danny and you thought he said she said Daddy. Oh but they sent David on the IMDb. Hang on. I'm pretty sure his name was Danny. Let's see hang on. Find him real quick. He's a very handsome man. He is. He's quite handsome man.
00:26:48
Speaker
Daniel. In which one? In Spider in the Attic. Uh-huh. And what's he in this one? Danny. So she might have been calling him Danny as like a... Yeah. Okay, anyway. Interesting. So, yeah, so he's Danny in this one. Okay, and they're like all gonna... Maybe it's the same Danny.
00:27:04
Speaker
it couldn't be anyway same universe same universe yeah but then he was reincarnating to die by a spider oh my gosh spoiler um but they all head out and they're gonna hike i guess so in the hills we see a metal door creek open and out
00:27:23
Speaker
Pops on like almost all fours is Jill wait and then that old or what do you mean by that? There's a fucking okay. You know how they occasionally have those weird kind of creepy You're watching the like the ghost adventures or whatever and they're like we're in the UK this time and then they they happen to find some weird fucking Tiny little hill that has a metal door that has like stairs going down because it's some kind of bunker or something You've never seen those it's like hang on hang on
00:27:50
Speaker
So it's so hard to describe. It's just a fucking hill with a metal door. And I'm going to trust you. Yeah. Like kind of something kind of like this. Okay. Okay. Okay. So that's obviously where they like live and stuff. Right. Like it's just, it's just a fucking hill with a metal door in it. I don't know what they're for, but they have them in a few things that I've seen. Like I've seen them on a couple of like TV episodes or like some people call it like the portal to hell or just weird stuff like that. Right. Okay.
00:28:21
Speaker
So they come hopping out of this little hole, and they look around like rabbits, like they're expecting a hawk to swoop down at any second. Okay. Back to the group, all get to some weird stone archway, and they're like, what the fuck is this? Right? But you walk through it, and there's picnic tables on the other side. So I was like, oh, okay, maybe this is the opening to the national park that they're at that they're gonna go hiking in.
00:28:51
Speaker
No, it's a like a hostel which is like a like a hotel kind of yeah Yeah, so yeah, but it's like the hostel there and I was like, okay Which kind of makes sense because I'm sure some people don't want to go and like camp So I'm sure some people just like oh they like to hike come back Sleep for a night and then go back out hiking and come back, you know. Yeah, okay. Oh
00:29:11
Speaker
Here's the timeline of this group, okay? Here's the timeline of these guys. They get to the hostel. This is their plan. Get to the hostel, okay? Spend a night at the hostel. Spend a night at the hostel. Go hiking, spend a night camping, spend a night camping, go back to the hostel. Why are we staying in the hostel for two nights?
00:29:39
Speaker
Why are we sleeping at the hostel for two, first night makes sense. They got there a little late in the afternoon, it's probably dumb to go hiking and set up camp out there, okay? Sure. So first night at the hostel, morning you wake up, you go hiking, you pick your camping spot, you hang out camping for a couple of days, you maybe hike the area, you come back to your camp, you sleep the night.
00:30:00
Speaker
You come back, maybe sleep in the hostel again, go home. That's how normal people exist, okay? That's not how this group of friends exist. So that's where we find out that Greg, ugly hat, complains about being tired already. And the hot guy laughs asking if he's actually ready for a trekking weekend. I was like, a trekking weekend? A trekking weekend. You guys have little teeny tiny backpacks.
00:30:28
Speaker
like the little tiny leather backpacks that maybe hold like a water bottle and a map and a flashlight like not not like lounge fly slightly larger than lounge fly but not a backpack yeah not like oh someone's carrying a tent and sleeping bags and sleeping bags and shit no they're all single backpack like like just like the the thin braided strap like the ones that you just like oh like a cinch yeah yeah yeah but like leather version of that okay so like
00:30:59
Speaker
And I have no, I, the fucking tank top and faded denim shorts combos that they had every single girl wearing, their budget must've been blown solely on those because every single girl was wearing, like, it just, you know. Okay.
00:31:14
Speaker
And that's what they're all wearing when they meet each other. And a flannel jacket or a flannel coat. Or not coat, just a flannel top, right? So I was like, yeah, cut off shorts, no water bottles in sight. These people deserve to die. Danny, the hot guy, asks which of the lucky girls is gonna get to bunk with him, right? And Driver Girl tells him that it's boys dorms and girls dorms, so no funny business. And they all laugh except ugly nails. And the others walk ahead, Blondie pausing to ask, Eden,
00:31:42
Speaker
if she's okay and if she's coming and Eden tells her that she just needs a moment. And so Blondie walks ahead and Eden just, and then goes along, right? Just needed a moment, right? She just needed a moment, okay? In their bunk room, they're like staying at the place for the weekend. Cause I didn't understand what it was till later and stuff. So I've got a lot of negativity here. I was like, where the fuck are they? Anyway, Dani is walking around in their bunk bedroom.
00:32:09
Speaker
in just his boxer briefs, like the tight ones that hug your butt and stuff. And Greg is reading a map. I thought, I couldn't tell exactly what it was because it was just like this piece of paper and they were like cutting it off. They were like showing the piece of paper right above his eye, or like right below his eyes. And then not the piece of paper at all. I couldn't tell exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was a map. So he's looking over this map, but Danny's walking around and Greg is like peeking over that map.
00:32:40
Speaker
And I couldn't tell for a second if it was like, oh, hey, hot stuff, sexy guy. Or if it was more like, the fuck are you putting oil all over his body? And so I couldn't tell exactly if it was like, oh, roaming eyes or if he was like, the fuck are you doing kind of eyes, you know? Yeah. But Danny asks,
00:32:59
Speaker
Uh, oh no, Greg is like, you think you got enough of that? And Danny asks Greg what he's reading. He's like, oh, you looking at girls or something? And Danny tells him that it's a local myths and legend. And Danny tells him that that's wild. That asks if he ever looks at girls. And I was like, porn stars, sweet miles? What are we talking about? Like just looking out in the distance and stuff? Yeah.
00:33:19
Speaker
Greg, uh, Greg was like, um, well anyway, so what I'm looking at and I was like, Oh, they were fuck me eyes. Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. Just putting this out there though. Greg was hot as fuck too. Okay.
00:33:34
Speaker
Okay, he just wore the fucking ugliest hat. And glasses occasionally, so I think they were trying to make him seem like not the hard guy. Like yeah, he's like, oh yeah, I'm the nerdy gay, secretly closeted gay one and stuff. And I'm just like, okay. Anyway, so Greg coughs a little and asks, cause they're supposed to be meeting the girls in the common room. Danny agrees, but hands up a beer first.
00:33:53
Speaker
And Jack and Jill are making their way into a cave. They're standing there, just looming for a minute so the camera can obviously see them just looming as they just look at each other and then walk down this little river way into a cave. And I don't know if that's where they store their food because it's colder in there or something. And obviously they're living in the wild, so that's hard to do. But they show Jill picking up a femur bone and she's just like,
00:34:21
Speaker
It's like totally stripped clean. It's just like a bone. Yeah. And she like tosses it down.
00:34:28
Speaker
Eden sits outside at one of the picnic tables when Danny comes out and I can barely hear them over the fucking birds. We'll get there. The birds. The birds. I can barely hear them over the fucking birds for a good like minute and then finally they figure out their audio or they chase the birds away or some shit, okay? And Danny sits with Eden and they joke about him. He was just like, oh, you know, which is ridiculous because they were, later on in the movie they were talking about him being this and that.
00:34:56
Speaker
Okay, what? Danny jokes that he shouldn't be really out here, that he sucks at hiking, he's always been more of a city boy. And Eden jokes back and stuff, right? But later on in the movie, they're like, no, Danny's fine, he's in his element out here. I was like, that, I just realized that. Okay, it's fine, it's fine. Anyway, it's weird.
00:35:18
Speaker
And she's just kind of like, so he takes her hand, like not her hand, but he like, you know, like just kind of gives her her hand wrist area a good little squeeze. You know, like he's comforting her stuff, right? And he goes, I really blew it with you, didn't I?
00:35:36
Speaker
And she said, tells them, they chatted for half a second. I couldn't hear what they were saying because they were talking over each other and the subtitles didn't know what they were talking about. But I basically got the gist of him just being like, no, I suck and stuff. She's like, no, no, you're fine. We're fine. It's okay and stuff, right? And then she looks at him. So he kind of leans in to go to kiss her. And she leans back like, what the fuck are you doing? And she's like, what are you doing? And he goes, but I thought,
00:36:01
Speaker
And she's like, you thought nothing, you thought wrong. And I was like, he said, I kind of blew it with you, didn't I? And you said, no. Should he have attempted to kiss you right then? No, I'm with you, girly, okay? However, I just like, and she goes, what on earth made you think that? It didn't work out with us before, why would it now? And I said, bitch, you just fucking said he didn't blow it.
00:36:30
Speaker
Okay. Okay. I was immediately on Danny's side for the rest of the movie from this moment on. Should he have tried to kiss his grieving friend? No. No. Her man just died. Yeah. Your friend died or something. Okay. Here's where I'm more on Danny's side. Okay. And he apologizes and tells her that it was just him being a dick and he's sorry, right? He's like, I just, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry and stuff, right?
00:36:56
Speaker
And she chews him out asking why he's even here. He never used to come do this kind of stuff when Lucas was still alive. And he asks if she ever thought it was because he couldn't stand seeing the two of them together and that he was pretending or that it was like pretending everything was okay. Lucas was his best friend and then she started dating him after things didn't work out between him and Danny. So she hops from one boy to his best friend.
00:37:26
Speaker
And then calls him insecure that he got jealous that she was dating his best friend and that his best friend was dating the girl that he liked. Yeah, I'd be upset. I would be upset too. And I was like, team Danny, team Danny, fuck you Eden, team Danny. Like, you know.
00:37:44
Speaker
And she just gets all pissed at him and stuff, right? Anyway, she calls himself a selfish prick for being jealous of them again and stuff, but she called him a selfish prick, sorry. And she rolls her eyes at him and he leaves as he's apologizing again, walking away. He's like, I'm really sorry. You know what? I shouldn't have said anything. And I was like, team Danny. He's zoning up. He's zoning up. He's saying sorry. Anyway.
00:38:06
Speaker
The next night. I thought it was later that night. It's the next night. Okay. Okay. They're all sitting around the picnic tables outside and all kind of bundled up in their own little blankets and everything because it's a little chilly out. But it's so fucking chilly that they all wear their their fucking denim cutoff shorts. Um.
00:38:26
Speaker
Blondie explains about their trekking plans and is like, tomorrow we'll go out hiking. And the first, when I first watched the scene, I was like, yes, they're here for one night. Okay. Yes. They go hiking tomorrow. Okay. No. No. Second night. Second night. Okay. Third day. Anyway, they're asking about their trekking plans before asking Greg about those local legends that he was talking about. Okay. And Greg was like, oh, I didn't think anyone was listening to me. And Blondie goes, I was...
00:38:52
Speaker
batting her eyes and everything at him and stuff and Greg asked them all if they know why this area is famous and they all say no so he tells them the story goes that in the early 90s a woman named Kelly Jane hold on hold on okay so in the early 90s uh-huh a woman named Kelly Jane Fleming
00:39:15
Speaker
Uh-huh. Who was the reporter at the beginning of the movie? Janie. Janie Fleming. Uh-huh. It's not the same person. It's not? The fucking writers couldn't come up with a different fucking last name than Fleming? Maybe... me. Because they're not related. And it's not the same person. It's not the same person.
00:39:37
Speaker
What? Okay. Also, if the movie, like if the kids ran away 15 years ago, movie comes out in 2001. It's set in 2001. Okay. This movie's from 2001? Yes. 15 years ago. 2021. Sorry. 15 years ago was 2006.
00:39:58
Speaker
Not the early 90s. No. I just realized that. That math ain't mathing. So anyway. Are you sure it's set in common right now at the time? Yeah. They didn't say anything otherwise? Like there's nothing about it? Just...
00:40:12
Speaker
There was no year on the beginning of the movie, it just had them running through the trees and stuff. So their math ain't math and it's fine. But he says in the early 90s, a woman named Kelly Jane Fleming escaped from a psychiatric facility after being walked away for most of her life.
00:40:33
Speaker
Despite being in there for most of her life, she gave birth to a set of twins, a boy and a girl, which led to accusations that she had a twisted relationship with someone at the asylum and that led to more stories about abuse in the institution.
00:40:49
Speaker
And apparently
Local Legends and Rising Tensions
00:40:50
Speaker
Kelly was the child of incest. Her parents were siblings who also abused her for years before they committed her. And the girls are like, oh, that's awful. That poor woman, that's so horrible and everything. And he's like, yeah, it was horrible. They had to investigate the institution and stuff. And I'm like, okay, yeah, that's horrible. That sucks.
00:41:11
Speaker
All right. Okay. And then after she escaped, she and her, after she and her children escaped, they were never seen again, as well as one orderly who went out from the search party. And some say that she died, but her children survived. And they say, if you stand on a high point on a quiet night, you can hear her whistling. And this area is renowned for missing hikers. And then he screams and he scares all of them and the girls all, and then let's go to bed.
00:41:40
Speaker
so why whistling I don't know okay I don't know I have no idea I just I don't know if that was one of those like oh like the like the legends morph and change into whatever and stuff you know but I'm like it's a movie about your own fucking story of a legend like make it mix yeah
00:41:59
Speaker
I don't know. Anyway, so, but it's Eden and Danny still sitting at the table and Danny says that he apologizes for what happened last night. Oh. Not tonight, not earlier today. Okay. Last night. Right. And it won't happen again.
00:42:18
Speaker
And Eden tells him to forget about it and he promises again it's not gonna happen and she tells him that she needs to go shower. And I'm like, why are you telling him that? Just be like, I gotta go, I'm going to bed. You need to go shower. I need to go shower. Put that on your head, bitch. Fuck you. Anyway, the next morning, driver, girl, they're there for another fucking night, I forgot. They're there for another night. Okay. Anyway, okay.
00:42:45
Speaker
Okay, Driver Girl and Blondie, whose names I still don't know, I said, talk about letting Eden sleep in a little, or Eden and the boys sleep in a little bit, so they can go grab a beer. Oh. In the morning. In the morning. So they go, or they said something about walking into town or something like that, and I was like, how far is town if people are going missing? Yeah. And you're on a hiking and camping. If you're at a hiking area that you can easily walk into town. I know Driver Girl had her car, but like,
00:43:14
Speaker
I don't know where the other two's cars were. Like, where anyone else's vehicles were for that. I don't fucking know. Anyway. Okay. No idea. But they go and they sit at a table and there's like a couple other people out. They look like they're also hikers and stuff and they're just sitting at the tables relaxing and stuff. Okay. I don't know. And these two random women approach asking them if their locals in Blondie and Driver tell them no, that they're tourists. And the two girls ask if they may have seen their sister who went missing a little bit ago and shows them flyers of Janie Fleming, right?
00:43:43
Speaker
Okay. And the sisters asked conversationally if they're here for a walk and Blondie and Driver tell her yes, they're here to remember a dearly departed friend. Like, out of fucking nowhere. Just like, oh, you guys here for a walk? And they could just have been like, yeah, we're just all catching up again. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, we're here to remember a deeply departed friend. And the girls go, oh, I'm really sorry to hear about that. But would you mind keeping an eye out for our sister? Like... That's awkward. That's so awkward. Yeah. Okay. Anyway.
00:44:12
Speaker
It's not like they pushed to say like, oh, yeah, you guys are out. Do you come out often? Is that like a, you know, nothing? Like they weren't just like, yeah, yeah. And why, why were you here? Like, no. They were just like, yeah, you guys here for a hike? And they were like, yeah. Cause a friend died. Yeah. Like just. Hope your sister doesn't end up the same way. And they were like, oh, and if you see anyone while you're out there hiking, would you mind giving out some of the flyers? And the girls say, yeah, they take a couple of flyers.
00:44:39
Speaker
And they ask Blondie a driver, ask the other, the sisters if they're going to go hike. And they're like, yeah, we're going to go out and see if we can find anything about her and stuff. Right? All I'm saying, all I'm saying is if you're having this many hikers going missing in an area,
00:44:55
Speaker
Why is it not shut down? Why is it not shut down? I was wondering that myself. Like I'm just saying, or why do they not have more active like patrols? Like should there not be like, you know, if they're like, oh, people are going missing and we have no trace of them whatsoever, maybe we need to start having, you know, the Rangers. Yeah. Maybe you should start having Rangers walking the trails and stuff. Just saying. Okay. Anyway.
00:45:24
Speaker
Um, but they're like, yep. Okay, bye. And they leave. Jack and Jill crawl out of their little metal door cave. Okay. The sisters add Janie's missing person's flyer to the post with all the others, and they head up the hill, finding the same metal bucket that Janie found before. Ooh. And one of the sisters is pretty sure she sees someone in the woods, but her other sister tells her not to let the woods play tricks on her. But I'm like, but that could be like your sister.
00:45:49
Speaker
Yeah, you couldn't like if she was like, I think I saw someone and her one sister's like don't let it play tricks on you I'd have been like, oh, Jamie, Jamie like follow but they don't cuz obviously it's not yeah, um, but yes Anyways, suddenly they come across Jill sitting on a tree stump just like rocking back and forth Right. And so one of the sisters approaches her because she has blood on her face Uh-huh. And so she thought oh my gosh, like she could be an injured hiker or something and maybe she's delirious and you know, like I
00:46:16
Speaker
And so she approaches her and tells her that she's not gonna hurt her and just, you know, would you like some water? Here's a water bottle and stuff. And the other sister sees Jack walking in the distance and I guess he attacks her off camera. Cause she just hear, you hear her scream and the first sister turns around and Jill is gone. Okay. So she freaks out and she starts running cause she's like, what's going on? Where'd my one sister go? Holy shit. Starts running. And she comes across this little like
00:46:42
Speaker
stick hut shelter, like it's just a bunch of, like if you assumed, okay, I need to build myself some shelter. I'm stuck out in the middle of the woods. I don't know how long I'm gonna be here. I watch fucking alone, okay? They're building themselves some stick hut shelters, okay? However, it's like stick, stick, stick, stick, stick. So you could literally just be like- There's like a couple inches in between. Yeah, like at least an inch in between every stick, okay?
00:47:11
Speaker
And I'm like, is that where your fucking budget for this movie went? Is building this little stick shelter? Sticks. Okay. Because it wasn't the plastic fucking skull that's in this little area. Anyway, like Halloween prop plastic skull. Oh boy. Like, anyway, she gets there and she sees this like, she, you can look in there. It's literally just like a large circle. Okay. And she looks in there. There's no one in there. Okay. And she goes, hello?
00:47:40
Speaker
Like just, she's not like, hello? Like looking around, yelling out, hello, is anyone there? No, she like looks in the shelter and goes, hello? Like, anyway, you can see a fucking every angle. Anyway, I just, I don't know. So she goes in and she finds a necklace like hanging, I don't know, the necklace is from someone, it doesn't really super matter. And then a plastic skull, right? And then she finds Jill, like Jill's apparently hiding in there. I don't know where she was hiding, but there she was, she was hiding.
00:48:10
Speaker
And again, she offers Jill some help, but Jill hits her in the head with a rock and she looks up to see Jack dragging her sister's body into the little shelter before Jill hits her in the head with a bigger rock. And then Eden and Driver Girl are hanging out in a kitchen, in a fucking, like a kitchen, in a hostel, like you just have a kitchen. Maybe, I don't know, but it was like, it was set up for like, oh yeah, this is like an Airbnb. Like, it's just, anyway.
00:48:37
Speaker
And then, this is so stupid. I'm, oh my gosh, I am nowhere close to being done. We're, I'm, okay, okay. I am, I'm ripping this movie apart. Okay, so J, okay. So you don't like how you will stay in like some hotels or Airbnbs or like cabins that you rent out or whatever. And they'll have like one of those little like ledgers that you can like, Oh, we stay here. Yeah. Like a sign it. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, we loved it here. We saw a swarm on the lake and stuff, right? Well, there's a three ring binder on the counter that she flips open. Okay.
00:49:07
Speaker
with like four pieces of lined paper inside and you can see people have written on it and there's some people have written in German and stuff, you know, and she's like, yeah, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute. Then she sees that Janie had written something and she starts like, oh my gosh, some of these names are on the missing people posters. She's been here. Oh my gosh and stuff, which is also weird to me because she doesn't know who the fuck Janie is.
00:49:30
Speaker
Well, he said her, no, he didn't say her name. No, because they didn't talk to her. They talked to driver girl. I just realized that. Okay. Anyway, later that night, Eden is laying in bed and she can't sleep. So she gets out a pill bottle with like a singular pill you can hear rattling inside her. Okay. And she starts standing in front of a mirror and she cries in front of the mirror for like a whole fucking minute.
00:49:55
Speaker
i'm just like okay okay okay okay okay and i don't mean
00:50:13
Speaker
to yuck someone's trauma. But she decides not to take the pill and she puts the pill back in the bottle and stuff. And so I was like, oh, okay, like, is that, here's, I didn't know what it was. It does not say she didn't show what it was. I was like, no idea, anti-anxiety cyanide, no clue. She goes to bed.
00:50:29
Speaker
The next morning, the group all decide to head out to their hike. Not getting very far, but they decide to set up their singular tent, okay? Okay. Who was carrying it, no idea. For five people. For five people, but they all decide, they start getting a little drunk and stuff, right? Oh boy. And the girls are chatting together and the boys are chatting together. This is how far apart that group is. Are you ready for this? Okay. I don't think you're ready for this, okay? This is, hang on for me.
00:50:58
Speaker
This is how far apart they are. Okay. Like maybe two yards. Yeah. Would you hear me drunkenly giggling about stuff? Do you think you could have not heard a single conversation the other person was having? No.
00:51:13
Speaker
Kay. Kay. Right? So they're sitting maybe two yards, six away from each other, right? They're not very far. Like one side of the fire, other side of the fire. Yep. Not that far. Not that far. Okay. And Eden and Driver Girl start hyping up Blondie, convincing her to go and hit on Greg because he's too shy. Even though they keep saying that Greg keeps giving her those eyes. If he was a dog, he'd be humping your leg already.
00:51:35
Speaker
And I was like, I don't think you know what those eyes mean. No, because those aren't his eyes. Those aren't his eyes. But he's too shy to ask you out, even though he'd be humping your leg. He's too gay. So Danny, at the same time, tries hyping up Greg as well, telling him that he should totally ask Lulu out. Oh, that's Lulu. This is 33 minutes into the movie. That's Lulu. So she's Lulu. Okay.
00:52:02
Speaker
So Lulu and Danny trade places and Danny goes to sit by the girls and Lulu sits and starts telling Greg how she likes spending time with him and how she would like to spend even more time alone with him. And he tells her that he knows what she's trying to say and that he hopes that she won't say it.
00:52:17
Speaker
And she starts like I mean and she's a little drunk. They're over there like vodka bottles Chugging vodka bottles kid. They're not even like as a beer Here's you know like oh, here's my red solo cup. Just go. No, that's too much. No too much like Eden is like Like full fist in the bottle chugging this thing. Okay, anyway
00:52:39
Speaker
So Greg finally tells her, he's just like, it's, he says, I can't return your feelings the way you want me to. I can't be who you want me to be. It's not you, it's me. And she starts like, okay, what do you mean and stuff? And he's like, the truth is that there's someone else that I like.
00:52:55
Speaker
And she's like, who? And looks over at the others, okay? And she says, surely it can't be Tamsin, who is Driver Girl. And he shakes his head no. And she's like, well, certainly not Eden, because obviously she's traumatized at the moment and stuff. And he shakes his head again. And she's like, wait.
00:53:17
Speaker
As if no one else exists in the entire world outside of your friend group. Yeah that you apparently never hang out all together anyway and so I just I don't know and so she goes wait it's Dani isn't it and Greg just kind of gives her the sheepest little like smile and nod and Lulu just like gives him the warmest smile and she's like oh well okay.
00:53:38
Speaker
and you know, like leans it and they hug it out. And he's like, I'm so sorry. She's like, no, don't even like, you know. And I think it's maybe because he would hold her hand a little bit. Like they'd be walking and like he'd hold her hand or she'd like cling to his arm or whatever. And he never was like, don't do that and stuff. So I'm like, I'm wondering if his apology is more of like, I'm sorry that maybe you thought he was the one or whatever and just apologize. Obviously you just came over here to tell me your feelings and I turned you down and stuff. But it's for a very valid reason.
00:54:08
Speaker
And so anyway, but they hug it out and it was really sweet. Honestly, the best part of this movie is the mental health awareness. That they like keep shoving down your throat throughout the whole fucking movie. I was like, yeah, give it. Yeah, that's great. Like they're like, no, no, we need to talk about our feelings. I was like, yeah. Yeah, we do. And stuff, right? Like it was great. So the next morning the crew all wake up and they're getting ready to hike and Lulu and Eden are having this little heart to heart where we learned that Lucas was
Exploration of Mental Health
00:54:36
Speaker
her partner, right? And he had committed suicide. And Eden feels responsible for not knowing, right? And Lulu tells her that she couldn't have known because Lucas never told you, right? Like she's like, you would not have known. He didn't tell you, he didn't tell anyone, okay? So it's not your fault, right? Which I kind of, I fully, yeah, it's not your fault. No one's telling you. It is in the kindest words, their fault.
00:55:03
Speaker
They're not talking, so I'm putting that out there. But I would probably feel the same way she does. Yes, exactly. You'd feel a little guilty. You're like, oh, how could I have not seen signs of stuff, right? But Lulu even says right here that like, they've even done studies and stuff to show that
00:55:19
Speaker
That's why suicide is such a big deal that most people don't tell people how they're feeling and then that's why they just die. They kill themselves and stuff. And that's why it's so important for Eden to tell all of them how she's feeling. And she's like, you have to tell us how you're feeling because we can help you and stuff. And Eden sweetly agrees and they all decide to head out, okay? And they find the same missing persons poster sign. They take a minute to figure out what their trail, which when I say minute,
00:55:46
Speaker
it's like three okay it's like two or three minutes of this okay so they're figuring out their hiking trail okay and uh deciding to go on one of them right uh and they start hiking but greg eden and lulu decide that this very gentle slope is too steep for them and they're not wearing hiking boots
00:56:05
Speaker
Well, Tamsen and Dani decide that they want to continue on while the other three... Don't split up the party. They decide the other three will take the longer way around. So Tamsen and Dani are going to go up the hill and then come back down, which should put them near a lake. And the other three are going to go around the hill, which will obviously take longer, but they'll meet them at the lake and stuff, right? Okay.
00:56:26
Speaker
And so, um, Tamsin's a little upset about it for, you know, for a minute, but, um, Eden is just, you know, she's like, are we good? And Tamsin takes a second to go, stupid. It's a stupid thing to be upset about. Yeah, we're good. And they hug it out and they all head out, right?
00:56:42
Speaker
Well, um, those three go off. Tamsen and Danny get to the top of a hill and stuff, right? And after a little bit, they're reminiscing about Lucas saying they wish that he was still here and, um, they're just, how much they miss him and stuff, right? Like he was such a good friend and everything. But Tamsen says, absolutely valid here.
00:57:02
Speaker
that she feels a little guilty having Eden here and she feels like she can't be upset in front of her because Eden lost more than the rest of them did. But Dani tells her to let it out now and to just do it. That Lucas was all of their friend, friend, all of theirs friend, and they deserve to feel how they feel. He then screams into the void and stuff, right? And he's like, go ahead, go ahead.
00:57:32
Speaker
And stuff, right? And I was like, oh, that's very sweet, you know? Yeah, this is very deep for a Jack and Jill story. Right? I'm like, where does that come back in? Oh, so they start like crying and laughing about it and stuff for a second. But then Danny still feels pretty bad, though, in a midst that he feels guilty because Lucas was his best friend. And he let his jealousy of Lucas and Eden being together get in the way of their friendship.
00:57:53
Speaker
I was like, which is kind of valid though. Like he was your best friend. This is the girl you were interested in. Yeah, things didn't work out between you two, but she goes and starts dating your best friend and your best friend just goes along with it. That would suck. That's shitty, you know? So valid and everything, but like.
00:58:09
Speaker
Anyway, Tamsin says that she's jealous too because everyone, or that she loves Eden, but everything is always about her and her feelings, right? And that everything always revolves around Eden, okay? And everyone seems to be interested in Eden. Obviously Nanny was, obviously Lucas was and stuff in their little
00:58:28
Speaker
very close-knit friendship group and stuff. And she goes, no one's ever interested in Tamsin. And Danny, which had been flirting with her throughout the whole movie, says, that's not true. And then leans in and they kiss. So, but oh no, he says that's not true and that he'd been too worried and intimidated to approach her. So, and then they kiss. Which I was like, that's kind of skeezy because you did just try to kiss Eden like two days before. But at the same time, like- They're all gonna die anyway, so it doesn't matter. I know, right?
00:58:57
Speaker
So later that night, having set up their tent and either banged or were about to bang, I'm not entirely sure, he was shirtless, she was still clothed, but obviously they had to get his, like, hot guy shirtless time in, right? Yeah. So Danny apologizes for not telling her how he felt earlier, and she leans in to kiss him again when they hear rustlings. And Tams, er, rustling in the bushes, and Tamsin thinks that it's the others, and Danny thinks that it's Greg trying to prank him.
00:59:19
Speaker
Right? And Dani decides to go and scare him and kisses Tamsin, telling her to keep the tent warm. Well, Dani heads off into the trees with this teeny little flashlight when he finds Jill sitting doing her creepy little gazing off into the distance thing, but only seeing the blonde hair he thinks is Lulu. Oh. Okay.
00:59:35
Speaker
and he then gets attacked by Jack and knocked over and Jill goes to like stab him but I think finds him handsome and stuff because she just kind of starts like near his face she doesn't touch his face but she's like you know like oh boy that's not my brother you know like this right so she goes
00:59:56
Speaker
Jill, Jill. And I'm like, listen, okay, listen, okay, listen. You were not three when you went into the woods. You were not five when you went in the woods. You were seven when you went in the woods. Not alone, with your brother, who also speaks fluent English. I know it's the British English and whatnot, but the Queen's English, the King's English.
01:00:22
Speaker
Ooh, nope, the queens. The queens. They did grow up in a mental institution, to be fair. To be fair. But they were talking to their mother. They said a few lines to her. They were just like, no, mom, we don't want you to leave us. And she was like, no, it's fine. You have to go. And they're like, no, mom, no. And so I didn't add that in because it wasn't. But she's like, Jill.
01:00:43
Speaker
Jill would have been talking to each other you should have been talking to each other that whole time Yeah, and if you weren't that was on YouTube anyway, so she
01:00:52
Speaker
Yeah, she just starts like, trying to touch his face and stuff. And he gets, you know, tries to fight her off because she's obviously right there with a fucking knife and everything. She gets upset that he tries to shove her away so she starts stabbing him. And Tamsen, hearing noises, gets out of her tent and sees Jack in the distance, but she doesn't know who it is in the distance. So she goes after him thinking it's Danny. And it said, obviously, it's Jack and she's attacked.
01:01:16
Speaker
And hearing Tamsin's screams, Eden wakes up from where they're sleeping in their tent. Somewhere. Somewhere. Okay. Okay. And just, yeah. And then it shows Tamsin wakes up in the weird little stick shelter thingy, seeing Jack taking an axe to Dani's body. Oh gosh. And she manages to sneak out and hide while watching as Jack drags Dani's body away. And again, it's another one of those like,
01:01:46
Speaker
Clinging to the trees to the trees and like keeping her back to everything but not looking in any other direction other than forward That's so weird. I'm like if you're keeping your back to something that's that's that's smart You're like Kate nothing sneaking up on me. Yeah, because I got my back to something but you should be head on a swivel Head on a swivel lady. Yeah, bitch girl. Okay
01:02:08
Speaker
So she manages to hide on the other side of the wall of this stick shelter Good that you could very easily through and Jill apparently just knows where everyone is gonna be because she doesn't just like walk up and see someone No, she's already hiding there and it's just like
01:02:25
Speaker
Kate. And then they sit down and then she's like, like, how does she do that? Is she psychic? I don't fucking know. Maybe it's that Neanderthal forehead of hers, Kate. Um, I, I gave, I gave Tamsin the tiniest bit because she was showing, they were showing her like grabbing her head. She obviously has blood coming from her head. They show that she's slightly delirious. So I gave her the
01:02:49
Speaker
the tiniest bit of leeway because she's delirious, right? But yeah, only to be met with Jill sitting there and Jill attacks her from behind strangling her with a rope around her throat and then drags her back into the wood shelter thingy. But Eden wakes up again hearing the scream. She's standing outside now at this point with a flashlight, just being like, what the fuck is that and stuff, right? Greg wakes up because he has to go use the bathroom and he finds Eden standing out there and he convinces her that the others are fine. They should just go back to bed, even though there's screaming going on out there.
01:03:18
Speaker
But back in their stick shelter, Tamsin is still alive, and Jack goes to strike her with an axe, but Jill takes it from her, getting right in Tamsin's face before then hitting her with the axe. Okay. And then the twins sit together, looking through a very, very old and worn book, which I find out later was a blank journal that they drew in, and Jack starts shaking Jill's arm going, ugh, ugh, ugh. Why? I don't know. Okay. I have no idea. Okay.
01:03:46
Speaker
If they were by themselves, I could understand, okay? If it was one or the other out there in the woods, having no one to talk to other than themselves. Okay, okay? But Jill starts telling Jack a story, okay? And she, the mother is the evil of the world. And I was like, are we making fun of mentally disabled people? Because that's like, you should not, you were speaking as a seven year old.
01:04:16
Speaker
Both sentences. Yeah, okay. Okay. Anyway, so she goes on about how the mother escaped the evils of the world before in the mountains and the hills. And she escaped to freedom with her two children, one of the evil ones from the institution, she says like that. And I was like, oh my gosh, okay. Tried to catch her, to catch them all. He was a very bad man. And only in the world outside of the valley does that kind of evil exist.
01:04:44
Speaker
So that's clearly why they're still in the hills. I was gonna ask about that too. Because I was like, why the fuck are they there? Other than they were trying to hide from the bad guy and stuff. So we then get a flashback to the children watching as the orderly catches up to their mother and he strikes her, backhands her and stuff, and she falls down. And he starts yelling at the children to come back when the mom gets up and she tackles him. And obviously they go down off of a hill.
01:05:11
Speaker
But let's see, back in the present time, Jill motherly strokes Jack's head as she's telling him this story and stuff, right? Like she's like very clearly they're siblings and I appreciate that. Cause it very easily could have been something different. But they're very clearly just siblings, so.
01:05:26
Speaker
Let's see. Oh, and that sometime the countryside will take them, but until then they have to protect it from the outsiders and they will devour them all. And then we see another flashback of Jill as a child again coming up to the edge of the hill and looking down and she sees her mother's dead body and the Orderly's dead body. Okay.
01:05:45
Speaker
and smiling. She's smiling. It's really weird. The next morning, Eden is waiting for the others to wake up and explains that she, she's pretty sure that she heard something last night and they decide to head out after weirdly chatting for way too long. And eventually they start hiking, seeing no sign of them. My favorite part of this movie though, I have to say is the chatter between everybody sounds like how people would talk.
01:06:07
Speaker
do appreciate that. So I was, I'm almost wondering if they weren't like given a script that they were just like, here's the, you know, the vague, what you're just chat for a second and everything. Yeah. Cause they were just like, Oh, you know, Tamsin and, and Danny, they're in their elements out here and everything. And, and Lulu goes like, Oh, I bet Danny isn't something out here. You know, just like,
01:06:25
Speaker
And I was like, that sounds like how people would talk, you know, especially if they're kind of being back handy to their best friends and stuff. So like, you know, at the stick shelter, Jill plays with the fucking necklace, wrapping it around the plastic skull. And you can hear the like, the metal scrape against plastic. And I was just like, oh gosh.
01:06:44
Speaker
And then she rings a silver handbell which I'm guessing these are things that she's like stolen or found here and stuff Obviously killed how many people I was like who you find in a silver handbell from and then she picks up an ID badge of the orderly which obviously is their father because
01:07:00
Speaker
Yeah, you know, and she turns to Jack telling him that they must never forget that they have evil in their blood. And the group hang out waiting for Dani and Tamsin with when Greg and Lulu decide to head up the path to find them and even wanting to stay behind. And she hangs out just staring into her locket thinking of Lucas when we get a flashback to her trying to kill herself too, right? That she was standing in the shower and had obviously, you know,
01:07:26
Speaker
and there's just like blood and everything. I don't know who found her, they don't, anyway. But they show her back at the present time having a panic attack, laying there sobbing and rambling things I can't understand because she's British. And Greg and Lulu find Dani and Tamsin's tent, finding all their stuff inside, not noticing a bloody handprint on a tree. But Greg says that they should get back to Eden. And they're like, yeah, let's go back. Like maybe they're hurt or something. And so we'll, you know. So they're calling out to their friends as they go back and they managed to get back to Eden pretty quickly.
01:07:55
Speaker
and they see her just having this little like panic attack and they help her out and stuff and Eden thinks that they should go in the direction of the fire that she saw the night before not the screams the fire okay so they were like yeah let's go in the direction of the fire did they see a fire i don't know was there a fire at the stick hut yes but like she couldn't have seen that okay i don't know so
01:08:24
Speaker
Jill sits in their little stick house, which is so weird to me. Why is that? Why do they have a little stick house when they have a whole Like enclosed safe space that's what I've been wearing this whole time is why do they also have this stick hut that does nothing? Okay
01:08:44
Speaker
Oh, this is done, you guys. We're at an hour and 16 minutes. We still so much of this movie left. Okay, we're recording for way too long. Okay, so Jill sits in their little stick house thingy looking at herself in a little pocket mirror, okay, as she turns to her brother saying that she still looks like them.
01:09:02
Speaker
And I'm like, so you're doing this to yourself? How are you doing this to yourself? How are you giving yourself this? Forehead implants. Yeah, I have no idea, right? Or is it, or is it also, I still look like them as in like maybe the orderly dad or something? Maybe I misunderstood them, but that's what the subtitle said was them too and stuff, right?
01:09:24
Speaker
And I don't know, I'm not sure. I kept thinking maybe it was that she didn't like how she looked because she's not as pretty as the girls that they're killing or something, you know? Because when you're seven, I'm sorry, you're still having people tell you like, oh, aren't you just so pretty and sad? You know, like even at a young age, you start learning that kind of shit and it's stupid. Anyway, Jack just kind of looks at her and leans in and kisses her cheek sweetly. He's just like, like it's, I don't know if it's a, you know, you're beautiful the way you are kind of a, or if it's just like,
01:09:51
Speaker
You'll I don't know it's but it's it's sweet. It's not a comforting. It's a comforting Okay, it's and you can tell and I appreciate the hell out of that because for a second when he did that I was like No, but he just like leaned in he just went
01:10:05
Speaker
That was it. It was very sweet in a way. It's kind of weird, but you know. Anyway, the two of them start howling into the sky then, and the sounds send Lulu into a panic attack, saying something here is not right, and that maybe it's an animal that got their friends or whatever. And Eden and Greg try to calm her down, and then she goes, well, what if it is an animal? What if it's people?
01:10:28
Speaker
And Greg is like, no, it's fine and stuff, right? But Lulu's like, I can't take it anymore. And she wants to go, she says, I want to go home. I want to run myself a buff. I want to light some incense. I want to find my center. Okay. Okay. I don't care. Um, like I was just like, I want to align my shark run. I was just like, okay.
01:10:51
Speaker
they're finally able to calm her down and keep going. And I think it's really sweet because like Lulu and Greg seem to have bonded a little bit more and stuff. And they're like holding hands and she's like clinging to him and stuff. And he's just like, yeah, I'm the man. I have to be big and tough right now. And which he was, which I appreciated that they weren't like, oh, just because Greg's gay, he has to be the like a feminine, like sissy one. Like he's like, no, I'm still a guy. Like he's like, I'm still a dude and I'm pretty built and he's pretty handsome and built and stuff. Like, yeah, he's a hunky gay dude. Like that's just, you know,
01:11:20
Speaker
A badass hunky-doody. A badass hunky-doody, exactly. Like, honestly, like my favorite part about this movie, honestly, was like that they actually seemed like friends. Yeah. So like, except for Eden, she was the worst part of the whole fucking movie. She didn't seem like a friend to them at all. Like, which is, she's in mourning. She's going through a lot right now. Sure, but she's a bitch. Anyway, so...
01:11:44
Speaker
She's just a bitch, I don't like her. They're finally able to calm her down and go still looking for their friends when Lulu and Eden decide that they need to use the bathroom and so Greg asks if he wants him to go with them. I do not care if it's a dude and I'm a chick or if I was a dude and you were a chick. I don't fucking care. You don't split the party when your friends are missing, okay?
01:12:08
Speaker
I would just be like, well, go on that side of the tree and pee. I literally don't care right now, okay? But they were like, no, it's fine. Also, the main point, right, of, well, I'm a girl, I have to go further from you and stuff, is so that you're not looking at my koochie hoochie, right?
Conflict and Realization of Threats
01:12:23
Speaker
So like, it's, okay? Lulu's established and is understanding. He doesn't care about the koochie hoochie. Don't care about the koochie hoochie, okay?
01:12:37
Speaker
He wants to ram a lamb a ding dong. I can't, it's just... I took a drink! Sorry!
01:12:53
Speaker
That's the main reason why you normally don't pee in front of other people, other than it's a tiny bit embarrassing stuff, right? It's a little weird. But you're out hiking in the woods, your friends might possibly be dead. That's the least of my worries, is you hearing me tinkle. Like, I just... I don't...
01:13:08
Speaker
I just, anyway, but he's like, yeah, no, just don't go too far, okay? And they're like, okay, my don't go too far is you go 10 feet over there on that other side of a tree. Yeah, I can still kind of see you. Their don't go too far was apparently far enough that Greg could not hear them yelling.
01:13:26
Speaker
Oh my god. Okay. I don't know how far that is, okay? Okay. But it's four and a half apparently and stuff, okay? But Eden then even gives Lulu more space for Lulu to go tinkle. And like- Just pee already. Just pee. You're both girls. I don't give a fuck. No. Here, I'll turn my back to you, but I'll keep, you know- Yeah, I'm gonna keep watch. I'm gonna keep watch. Yeah. I just, I don't care. Life or death situation, you're hearing me pee. Yeah, no matter. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Don't care.
01:13:53
Speaker
You're hearing it all. Okay. We'll figure out our friendship later. You know, I don't, I just, okay. Anyway, so Eden, not hearing from Lulu for a minute, goes to look for her, but gets startled by Greg because he's like, where is she? Where are you guys? What are you doing and stuff?
01:14:12
Speaker
only to realize that Lulu, they didn't realize, we see the camera pans over. I don't know how far the camera's panning over. Okay. Okay. That Jack is holding his hand over Lulu's mouth. Okay. And she's like clinging to a tree. Like she's like, no, let me go. Like I'm, you know, and he's like trying to get her away from the tree and stuff, right? But he starts to drag her away.
01:14:35
Speaker
I don't know, but she manages to get him off, hits him and screams for help and then starts running, right? Which valid, okay? They don't hear that. Okay.
01:14:48
Speaker
They don't hear her hit him scream like bloody fucking murder and then run. Okay. Okay. Greg starts looking down though and seeing that there's muddy, like in the mud, it looks like something has been dragged and there's more footprints and stuff in the mud. So clearly he's like, Oh, someone grabbed her. There's actually a person out here and stuff. Right. And so.
01:15:09
Speaker
Eden starts having a panic attack, a total breakdown saying that they have no way to call for help and nothing to defend themselves with. But Greg is like, we still have to fight. These are our friends, right? Like, do you want to die right now? And she's like, no, I don't want to die. And he's like, then we're going to find our friends and we're going to fight and we're going to, we're going to save them. And he's like, she, she's like, okay. And he's like,
01:15:29
Speaker
We're going, we got this. He's grabbing her hand. He's being fucking good guy Greg over here. I'm team Greg to the end, okay? And he gives her, yeah, like this total fucking pet talk. He's like, we got this, we can do this and stuff, right? And she's like, yeah, yeah, we have to, well, she's a little reluctant, but then she starts like, okay, yeah, we can do this and stuff, right? Anyway, but right here I said, I was like, yeah, Lulu's running for life through the trees. I swear the budget for this movie was white tank tops and faded denim shorts, my hell.
01:15:58
Speaker
Yes. Then they hear Lulu screams. Okay. And they go rushing forward. Um, and they see her in the distance. I don't know if it's like there's a ravine or something, but they show her like down below as they're up higher, not super far because obviously she's just like, there's someone out here. Like she's not screaming it at the top of her lungs and she's not, there's someone
01:16:19
Speaker
She's like, there's someone out here. Oh my gosh. Okay, but she's down below. There's a lot of like foliage in the way So I'm guessing that she couldn't just like get up get I would I don't fucking care. I'm bolting. Yeah, I'm going We're going up like just I don't yeah anyway, but she they tell her get back to the hostel hike your ass over the hill Yeah, they took two days to hike. Yeah, I don't know
01:16:43
Speaker
Okay. Okay. So that's what they decide to do. Okay. And this is still daytime. This is still daytime. Okay. Suddenly it's nighttime. Good. As Eden and Greg run up to that stone archway of the hostel and they start like, where is she?
01:16:59
Speaker
No, my fucking ass would have been hiking down to Lulu or calling Lulu up here or whatever, I don't fucking know. Okay, I don't fucking know, right? But Greg says he's gonna go check inside to see if maybe Lulu got there before them and stuff, right? So he goes around to the picnic tables only to get shot in the stomach by an arrow from Jack. I'm guessing he's collecting all these fucking weapons, I don't know. I have no idea. Who's out there camping with arrows? Bo and Arrow.
01:17:28
Speaker
No idea. So he shoots him in the stomach and Greg coughing up blood promises to kill Jack. All while Jack just stands there and laughs and also hums the Jack and Jill song. Of course. But I could not understand what they were humming at first until way later in the movie when I was like, oh, that's what they're talking about. OK. So anyway, Lulu finally runs out of the woods as Eden. OK. Lulu's running towards her. OK. And Eden is like, come on.
01:17:58
Speaker
She's not running to her friend. She's not like, Lulu, oh my gosh. Like, no, she's standing there as if she's like, okay, okay, I'm watching, I'm watching, you're good, Lulu, keep coming. Like, what the hell? I don't know. But they grab each other and stuff, right? And then they're like, where's Greg? And they were like, we need to get inside, okay? So they decide to go inside. But inside, Greg is tied up. Oh no.
01:18:19
Speaker
Okay, and Jill is looming over him, weirdly sniffing his wound. This scene goes on for like four minutes. I was like, she gonna start eating him alive? That's what I thought it was gonna be? It's not. She starts, like she reaches up and she like touches the blood on his face and then licks it and stuff. And I was like, oh, she's gonna eat him alive. That's what I was thinking. I'm worse than this movie apparently, but also not at the same time. Okay, so then she,
01:18:48
Speaker
hops up on top of him. No. And starts pulling his pants down. No. And then she stabs his leg with a knife and I, what the fuck is going on here? Okay, she rips his underwear off of him. No. And thank Bob, Greg gets his arm free because she's like, like, okay, he's still, this boy was stuffed. I'm sorry, there's no way. Like, there's no way.
01:19:19
Speaker
If he's not stuffed, no wonder why Greg's gay, is all I'm saying, okay. Greg's gonna be real popular, is all I'm saying. So she's, okay, he's laying there. I was explaining this to you guys, okay. And she's like weirdly like not touching, okay, but just like, like, like,
01:19:46
Speaker
She's like stabbing with a knife and then but like and then she like cuts open his his uh his boxers a little bit and then rips the boxers off okay and then he gets his hand free and he clocks her in the face okay okay and so she freaks out getting quite upset and stuff right but right then as he's trying to get his other hand free Eden and Lulu burst into the room
01:20:09
Speaker
And Jill jumps up and she attacks Eden and knocks her out. Yeah, she knocks her out. And Jack comes up behind Lulu and cuts her throat. So, Lulu unfortunately dies. But Greg, heartbroken and devastated. He's watching this happen to his friends. He's very delirious. He's missing a lot of blood. He was just also stabbed in the leg and stuff. Hits the ground and is like,
01:20:32
Speaker
No, like just trying to like, no, and then passes out. And then Eden wakes up in the weird little stick hut thingy. Of course. And I'm like, how far did they take her? I don't know. I don't know the distance. I don't know the placement of anything. I don't know where the fuck
Backstory and Intense Confrontations
01:20:50
Speaker
they are. They camped overnight to get where they were.
01:20:54
Speaker
I don't know. So they carried her that far. Okay. And Greg and Greg, they take them both. Okay. So they're in the weird little stick cut and she crawls around a little and like, so Eden wakes up, she crawls around and she finds the little drawing book and they show her like, like, like looking at it and then like looking over her shoulder frantically and then like desperately looking through this book of
01:21:17
Speaker
stick figures. It's not like there's any secret notes in there or anything. It's not like the front cover said Jack and Jill. It's not like in the drawing, it was Jack Jill and mommy. Like, you know, like no, it was just K. I don't.
01:21:31
Speaker
Okay. Okay. So then she hears sound and she turns and Jack catches her looking at the book. So he throws her to the ground and I don't know what is going on in this scene. I don't know if she's just like screaming and trying to get away from him. Okay. I don't know if he's just trying to hold her down. I don't know if they were giving a moment for Greg to get up because they were filming this whole, like, and you see Greg getting up and like coming over. I don't know. Okay. There was a lot of just
01:22:01
Speaker
movement. I don't think that's what was happening. Okay. But there was a lot of, a lot of that movement. Okay. And she's just screaming her head off the whole time. Well, Greg grabs one of Jack's buckets and beats the fuck out of him. Okay. Right. Hits him in the head over and over again. Right. So he, until he slumps down and they then weirdly deduce that it's Jack and Jill and
01:22:30
Speaker
how a bucket i don't know i don't know i have no idea i don't know like i watched that scene only twice maybe i need to watch it a third time where i'm like super paying attention and not just like trying to type down my notes at the same time but like i have no idea exactly how okay
01:22:48
Speaker
if they got Jack and Jill from the oh my gosh it's them from like the myth and legend that you were telling us about just the other day how they're obviously the probably two missing children that grew up still but they go Jack and Jill you know like the nursery rhyme that's where that's what I'm not connecting that's yeah like when you were like from the 90s I was like
01:23:09
Speaker
What? Yeah. I don't know. But Jack, I mean, Jack and Jill, the original came out in the 18th century. Yeah. But like, that's why it was like maybe they're like ghost children in the woods. No, wild, wild things. I don't know. So they figure that out. I don't know how, but they figure that out. I don't know.
01:23:30
Speaker
uh oh and they were like because they kept humming the song over and over again but i was like they were humming so quietly how did you even hear them over your own i'm gonna kill you soundly i just what song what song i don't
01:23:42
Speaker
Anyway, Greg stumbles out of the hut and that's where he finds Danny dead and he's really upset about that obviously because you know and Jill jumps Eden Eden's just still sitting in this little like hut thing. There's Jack laying right there Okay, and she's still just hanging out in this in this hut. Is there only one entrance? Yes Okay, so I don't
01:24:06
Speaker
How big is the space inside? It's a good, like, not this size of a room, but it's a good- It's smaller than this room. Yeah.
01:24:15
Speaker
Okay. But it's not like, it's not like this closet hut. Right. You know, like, like, like- Because like 10 feet. Yeah. It's like a good, yeah, it's a good like 10, 15 feet maybe. I just, maybe not 15 feet. 15 feet's way too much. Like it's a good like 10 feet. So in a circle, like just, you know. Anyway, Jill jumps Eden and Eden tries telling her, or trying to appeal to her, calling her by her name. And Jill kind of was like,
01:24:41
Speaker
You know my name kind of thing, you know, like that's weird and stuff, but also not because I haven't heard someone else say my name in a long time. And I don't know if she was just throwing this out there to be like, oh, I'm going to appeal to you in this way. But she starts going.
01:24:58
Speaker
that saying that she spoke to Jill's mother because sometimes she can hear the dead, just like Lucas who died, but she can still sometimes hear him. I'm like, then why are you that heartbroken over him, bitch? So obviously I think she's lying here, right? But Jill doesn't know that, right? And that she knows that Jill's mother was a good person because she told Lucas something. And if Jill puts down the knife, she'll tell her. So Jill slowly does. And he didn't tell us that her mother told her that Jill needs to stop the hunting.
01:25:28
Speaker
And then she tells Jill that she didn't want to live before, but now she does because Lucas wants her to live. And Jill's mom wants Jill to live. And Jill looks over then seeing Jack laying there and she rushes to him to check on him, right? At the same time, Greg comes back and is like, get the fuck out of here. So Eden jumps up and goes after him and the two flee while Jill breaks the fucking sound barrier, screaming for her brother, which was great.
01:25:57
Speaker
But my speakers were like... And I was like... Because I was at work watching this and I was like... And in Rage, she chases after Greg and Eden, right? Because obviously he's not waking up.
01:26:14
Speaker
So Eden and Greg stop for a moment and Greg crying about Danny, not anyone else, just Danny. Um, and the others, but he does say that the others are dead and stuff. When suddenly he starts coughing up blood as Jill has thrown her knife into his back and he just like stumbles forward. Okay. And Eden, because she's like reaching out for him, he's just coughing up blood and he just falls and she's just like,
01:26:39
Speaker
and then turns and runs. Like she's like done or something. Like she was not like, oh no, like another of my friends. Like, no, she was just like, okay. And like fucks off, right? So she gets back to the hostel while Jill's chasing after her, okay?
01:26:58
Speaker
And she gets there and there's this metal fence she runs behind, like it's like a gate. It's only the half the gate. It's not the full gate that she manages to shut and is like, you stay the fuck back or whatever. No, she's like, gate, you stay over there. Okay. There's Jill on the other side of the...
01:27:22
Speaker
the thing that she could just walk around. Yeah. Okay. But Jill is a little too entranced in what Aiden starts saying and stuff, right? So apparently Aiden is so good at talking about people, okay? But right here, she tells Jill that she doesn't have to do this. And suddenly the audio goes completely off from Aiden's mouth. Okay. I thought, oh crap. I restarted my video thinking maybe it had just freaked itself out. My internet's not the best at work. Yeah. I restarted it. Uh-huh.
01:27:50
Speaker
This was final cut of the movie. Okay. Okay. Where obviously they couldn't hear what she was saying, so they had Eden go in afterwards. Oh no. And voice over it. Okay. Poorly. Okay. She tells Jill that some people made a nasty rumor about Jill and her brother, and then recites the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, right? And Jill says that was mom's song, right? But in her, yeah. And
01:28:19
Speaker
Eden says that she knows her mother escaped and that she gave her life to save the two of them and she knows what it's like to lose someone and that the two of them must have been scared and Jill says that she wants to go home right and Eden tells her to return to the hill and do what the nursery rhyme said to do find paper and plaster and fix Jack's head okay and so Jill turns and runs away leaving Eden alone to get into Tamsin's car
01:28:49
Speaker
Why was it unlocked? Why did she not get in the driver's seat? She just hops in the passenger seat.
01:28:55
Speaker
Okay. Are you sure it's a passenger seat or is it? There was no steering wheel. Steering wheel was on this side. Okay. Like, but, like, but it was not, steering wheel was not in front of her, is all. Like that's okay. Cause I'm pretty sure I saw the steering wheel. Anyway, not the point, but she sits down in the car only to look up and see that Jack is like rising up from the back seat, how he knew she was going to get in the car. Anyway, he starts stabbing her through
01:29:22
Speaker
the back of the seat. Not like he brings his hand around and starts like, yeah, yeah. No, he starts stabbing her from behind as Jill is just like standing out there watching the two of them. Like, just, okay. It's never a like, it's a, it's a wide stance. She's a wide stance, my guy. Like arms out, like two TVs under each arm, wide stance. Yeah. No one's pushing her over, my guy. And I just,
01:29:53
Speaker
The next morning, Jack and Jill head back to their hill with their weird fucking metal door place. And I have no fucking clue what the fuck this thing is. Anyway, the end.
Discussion on Sequels and Film Quality
01:30:05
Speaker
That was my notes. What? What? You want to know the best part? They made two sequels. Shut your mouth. They made two sequels. I'll watch the next one. Would you? Yeah. I don't know if it's on YouTube. If I can find it, I'll watch the next one. Okay. Oh gosh.
01:30:23
Speaker
And then we can split the third one. That would be fun. Oh no. How did they make more? I don't know. What? How did they make one? I don't know. I have no idea. I don't understand the connection with the nursery rhyme. It makes no sense to me. Other than their names are Jack and Jill. Yeah, but it's not about them. No. They just happened to be named that because they were from the 90s.
01:30:52
Speaker
and their mother happened to like the nursery rhyme which i mean makes sense they're twins and stuff and so like if you you know you hate your children then sure go ahead but i mean she grew up in an insane asylum so like true but okay um so
01:31:08
Speaker
Was it the same kind of quality as like Spider in the Attic? Just about. Yeah. I mean, I figure it's probably done by the same people if it has... I like Cupid. Mm-hmm. That kind of level of... Yeah. How do you feel about that 3.1? Is that what it was? Yeah. Um... Valid. I think 3.1 is actually quite valid. The plot was shit. Yeah. The characters... The main character was the worst fucking thing. Jack and Jill were horrible. Yeah. I didn't give a like...
01:31:38
Speaker
Why? Why? Why were they? Eh. Eh. Okay. No idea. Yep. I'm just team Danny, team Greg. Like I just, you know. Team the boys. Yep. The best fucking part about it was it was basically an anti-suicide ad. Yeah. So like. Like fight for your friends and help each other and. Yep. Okay. That's my movie. Okay. Everyone. I don't even.
01:32:09
Speaker
I don't. Like the worst thing about it, like the worst thing about this movie is what the fuck happened? Yeah. I don't. Do you remember what happened earlier in the movie? No. Exactly. Nothing did. Nothing did. No. To the point that I, while reading it back to you went, oh my gosh, I took the notes. I watched the movie. Yeah. I watched it twice. I'm sorry.
01:32:35
Speaker
So, well, almost twice. I was watching the first part while taking notes and then I went to the gym and so I was watching Tubi on my phone while I was walking on the treadmill and I was just like, okay, okay. And then I went back and watched again so that I could finish up my notes. So the acting wasn't atrocious except for Eden. Eden was the worst. Why is the main character always the worst?
01:32:57
Speaker
I have no idea. Why do they do that? I have no idea. Stupid. No idea. Lulu was the best. Honestly, it should have been Lulu. Like, cause she was, you know, a fairly decent actress in Cupid and like, she was fairly decent in this movie and I just... I don't fucking know, man. I don't know. Here, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find that scene on TV. Also, why is it the legend of... I don't know. There's no, there's no legend to be had. Like, they don't. I don't know. Okay.
01:33:22
Speaker
Also, it's this like gray tone, like fucking new moon the whole time. Yeah, that. What is that? That's what they're coming out of. That's a very large door. Uh-huh. Oh no. And the scenes go on like this. That's a very long scene of her just- This whole movie was so long. It's still going, everyone. It's still going. There you go. Okay. And then what is this? Where are they? What in the world?
01:33:52
Speaker
Rick? His name is Rick? No, that's just what they thought. The subtitles, like the subtitles. Also, they kept saying every time that Tamsin was doing something, she was like breathing heavily. They were like, Lulu breathing. And I was like, she's not Lulu. That's Tamsin. I was like, listen subtitles, listen, I'll give you some because like you went how long without knowing their names? I'll give you that. For like. Do some research. Not even the subtitles were telling me who was who. The audio is awful. The audio is so bad.
01:34:21
Speaker
Oh, no, this is bad. Oh, anyway, we're just bullshitting now. Okay. So there's my story. I'm not sticking to it. Thanks. You can watch the next one. Okay, thanks. Might be back with the sequel if we can find it. But yeah, I don't know if that would keep people away or bring them back. I don't know, everyone.
01:34:44
Speaker
Okay, well I appreciate you sticking around for this long because I was fucking like Some of the other movies I'm flabbergasted. I'm upset. They're stupid. I'm so mad This one was just like I was just like get through it Oh my gosh, like to the point I got 42 minutes in and I thought should I pick a different movie?
01:35:03
Speaker
Because I was like, are you guys as bored as I am watching this? Because there's no actual plot. No. And I love how most, for like the first most of the movie, Jack and Jill were just like, here we are. Yeah. Doing nothing. Doing nothing. Yeah. Back to this. Here we are. Back to this. Yeah. Like not doing anything.
01:35:25
Speaker
Is this the second one? The hills of hell. That might be the second one. Okay, guys. Okay, well, that'll be fun for somebody. Nope. Me. Oh, also, I forgot. Jill? Jill was in Humpty Dumpty II. She was the blonde one that gets killed coming out of the shower. Oh. Yeah, I forgot to tell everyone that. Sorry.
01:35:48
Speaker
She was the like cell phone one. Yep. Contraband. Yep. So, yeah. Right? I'm sorry. I never saw her. She died before. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I can barely remember. They were like, yeah, she was in Humpty Dumpty too. I was like, she was? So, yeah. Jack and Jill, The Hills of Hell is the second
Podcast Wrap-Up and Promotions
01:36:09
Speaker
one. So that's one for you. Okay. And then Jack and Jill three is just the third one.
01:36:14
Speaker
What? They always do that. I don't know. This one got a 4.8. Wow. Okay. Okay. See, we're just building up to the good shit. What? Oh no. Jack and Jill 2. Yeah. Is a 2.5. Oh god. Okay.
01:36:31
Speaker
He's in a movie called The Leprechaun's Curse. I can't though. I thought about watching one for St. Patrick's Day. Was it Easter Bunny Massacre? Oh no, St. Patrick's Day, my bad. So I thought you were gonna say Easter and I was like, cause I should have watched one for Easter. I realized after I started taking my notes, I was like, fuck.
01:36:47
Speaker
But I thought I should have watched this one called Easter Bunny Massacre, but I thought it was the one that you watched, but then I really, it's not. So like, cause I saw that and I went, no, it's probably like, but I couldn't remember what the name of your movie was. And I was like, it's probably the same. It's Easter day, here comes Peter Cott and now I'm nicely. Anyway, we've been talking for way too long.
01:37:12
Speaker
Tune in next week for some fun and some shenanigans and some bullshit and some mischief. He's in a movie called Mega Lightning. Cannibal Cabin 2.1. We're just gonna make a new list. You know it's good when most of the actors don't have profile pictures. Yes. Oh yeah.
01:37:36
Speaker
Oh boy. I'm sorry, Jack and Jill three, 10 years after the last vicious incident? 10 years? What have they been doing? They're 30 year olds in the woods? I guess.
01:37:47
Speaker
Okay, we'll figure it out. Cause like early nineties, early nineties is anywhere from 1990, 91, 92 or 93. 94 I would still say is mid, not early. So if we're going from, you know, 1992, we'll be fair there. Plus 15 years, it should have been 2007. They had smartphones. They didn't have smartphones in 2007. So this movie had to have taken place in at least 2001.
01:38:17
Speaker
2021. Why do I always do that? Every fucking time. Anyway, goodbye everyone. We love you. Have a great time. Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode. Let us know what you think by commenting on Instagram and TikTok or emailing us at bmoviebashpodcast at gmail.com. You can listen to our episodes on all of your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Apple podcasts, Amazon music, and so many more.
01:38:46
Speaker
If you want to support the podcast, you can find our Ko-fi donation link in the episode description or check out one of our awesome sponsors. And as always, make sure to like, subscribe, and tell your friends.
01:38:58
Speaker
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Speaker
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