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#AITA | Freeloaders, Bitchy Sisters, and Birthday Cake | #JY S3E18
109 Plays1 year ago
The assholes are back and we're ready to judge them!
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Transcript
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Speaker
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Podcast Title Humor and Segment Return
00:01:33
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Hello. My name is Shannon. I'm Alyssa. Welcome back to another episode of Hashtag Judging You. And that is the correct way that should be said because.
00:01:44
Speaker
It's too much pressure to make me do it. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I can't. Okay. I won't do that to you anymore. I'm actually not going to make that promise. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, today I'm very excited. Yes. We are doing Am I the Asshole? Yeah. We've all done that for a minute. A hot minute. I mean, we were doing Spooktober and stuff, but like. Even before that, I feel like it's been a hot minute. Yeah. It was the middle of September.
00:02:13
Speaker
I feel like it's been longer than that. I feel like September was two years ago. For real. But also it's already November. It's like mid-November. Tomorrow's Christmas. Yeah. Next week is the 4th of July. Yeah. What is time? I don't know. I hate it.
Anecdotes and Jokes
00:02:27
Speaker
Anyway, guys. Yeah. We're gonna be judging some people today. You know what I realized? What's up? Actually, we haven't done a joke in a while. Should we both look up a joke? Let's look up a joke.
00:02:40
Speaker
That one said, I thought my dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along. I have that problem. Yeah, same. Oh gosh. Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They'll wash up on shore.
00:03:00
Speaker
What do you get from a pampered cow? Fancy milk. Spoiled milk. Spoiled milk! Yep. What do you call phony spaghetti? Oh, I feel like I know this one. But I don't remember. An impasta. Yeah, that's right. That's right. A phony baloney. That doesn't make sense. You were so ready. You were like, yeah. Wait. Why did I think baloney made any sense at all?
00:03:31
Speaker
I don't know. Shannon, you're cute. You're adorable. Okay. A pair of cows. We're talking in the field. A pair of cows. Fancy spoiled cows. Okay. A pair of cows.
00:04:12
Speaker
This is gonna make the whole jokes out so stupid That was it that was the joke
00:04:24
Speaker
Okay. So they were talking in a field. Yes. One says, have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around? Yes, says the other cow. Makes me glad I'm a penguin. So much dumber now. It was always dumb, but. My goodness. I love them. They do?
00:04:54
Speaker
Oh my gosh. How do you make a water bed bounce here? I don't know. Add spring water. Oh my gosh. Oh, this one's not okay. The kids are not all right. Let's judge some assholes, okay? All right. Sounds good.
Family and Living Arrangements Conflict
00:05:19
Speaker
There I come. Shit.
00:05:25
Speaker
Okay. Did you want to go first? You go first. Okay. All right. Okay. Am I the asshole for telling my brother he can't raise his child in my house? Okay. I, 27 male, have had dreams of being a homeowner for as long as I can remember. I actually started saving for a house since I was 18. Wow. I bought a three slash two house.
00:05:46
Speaker
I don't know what that means. I know. I don't know what that means. Okay. Three years ago, and while it's not the best house, I am beyond blessed to own my own home. And homeownership is everything I always hoped it would be. To be able to come home and have everything exactly where I left it. To be able to play video games all day and have no one to tell me otherwise. It feels like I am free and in control of my own life, which is what I've always ever wanted.
00:06:09
Speaker
About a year ago, my older brother, 36 male, and his wife, 30 female, asked to move in with me because while they can afford rent, they do not want to pay $2,000 a month for an apartment. While I did not want them there, I reluctantly agreed because I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have two empty rooms in my house. You absolutely can. Yes, you can. If they can afford rent and they're not down on their luck, they absolutely can find someone to live. I know, I agree. I'm like, no, he doesn't have to live there.
00:06:37
Speaker
It'd be different if they were like, we're really struggling right now. And so I would have been like, yeah, absolutely. I've got a couple extra rooms, you know. Anyway, here's my house. Knowing he would let me live with him if I had ever asked. And I was also fortunate enough to have family to live with while I was saving to buy my house. I did not charge them any rent for anything, but they gave me about $400 a month to help out.
00:06:59
Speaker
Okay. In today's economy? I know. My brother and his wife have been trying to conceive a child for a long time and are finally successful in doing so. They were expecting in a few months. While I'm extremely happy for them, I also do not want them living with me. I did not buy my house for them. I bought it for me. I did not sign up for having my living room filled with baby toys and having my gaming room turn into a kid's bedroom. I did not sign up for my fridge being full of milk for a kid that isn't mine.
00:07:28
Speaker
This leads me to today where I have asked them to move out before the birth of their child. They were both extremely offended and hurt and that I told them this. My family also seems to think that it is wrong of me to ask them to find their own place when they are expecting a child. I can understand why people would be upset with their choice but that is absolutely their choice to make. Oh yeah. Like if I had bought my own house and I was a single person
00:07:53
Speaker
And I just wanted to live my own life. Yeah, I don't want your screaming baby in my house. I don't want to give up my space for your choices. Especially because you can afford the rent. If it was completely different where they were like, oh, we're totally S.O.L., we've been down on our life, we can't afford anything, and we're also pregnant, I don't know what to do, then I think that'd be a little bit of a different story.
00:08:18
Speaker
But- You've been paying $400 a month in rent and you should have been putting that aside for future living. Like I get that medical bills are probably a lot, but like you gotta figure out your life. So that's my thing though. They have enough to be able to afford $2,000 at least a month in rent. They've been living there for, you know, so let's see minus, we'll say that they're only making $2,000 a month.
00:08:47
Speaker
minus the 400 that they're giving to the brother. That's $1,600 that they are making a month. They have saved up almost $20,000 if they're not spending it on so many other things or whatnot.
00:09:02
Speaker
but they're clearly making more than that to be able to afford to live and play rent for $2,000 and whatever else. So where's it all going? So where's it all going? Yeah. So for at least a year, they should have been saving to have either put down a down payment off their own house or. Yeah, you've known about this baby for at least a few months. Oh yeah. So what have you been doing? That's the question. Yeah, not the asshole at all.
00:09:31
Speaker
No, not in the slightest, man. Alrighty, so my... I don't know... Oh, she's female? 28?
Relationship Dynamics and Insecurity
00:09:41
Speaker
Okay. My boyfriend, 26 male, wants to bring a third into our rela- into our bedroom. I'm in a five-year relationship. It's a weird title. Okay. But that's the gist of it. Okay. My boyfriend... was this a relationship advice?
00:09:55
Speaker
well. Oh well. Here we are. My boyfriend brought up wanting a third person into our wanting to bring a third person into our bedroom for a fun experience. My first emotion was heartache and pain. Feeling like wow he's bored of me already. I'm not a close-minded person and I want to keep him happy so I considered it and we discussed further details. He said that it wanted to be someone that he liked and had a connection to. No. Which was another stab to the heart.
00:10:21
Speaker
Yeah, no. Listen, listen, listen. If a couple is interested in that, and it's something that you're like, yeah, maybe we should experiment. It needs to be a random fucking person, neither of you know, that is tested. And like, you know, just.
00:10:37
Speaker
If you bring in someone, yeah. If you bring in someone that you're like, no, I work with this person. Immediately, no. Immediately, no. I don't care that I'm being involved, that's you cheating. Because that's an emotional connection you're making with someone who, and like, if he's saying, oh, I want to bring a third person into our relationship, that's different. A third person just into the bedroom? No. No, absolutely not. That's a person we're banging and they leave.
00:11:04
Speaker
Like we meet at a bar and we go home. Yeah, we're done. Yeah. Yeah. And like, thank you. You're still a human being and you're a kind person. Have a great day. Have a great life. I never want to see you again. Yeah. And it's not to judge, but to judge. Like that's just that's what we do. Yeah. That's what we do. Fuck him. Like that's already. I don't. Anyway.
00:11:21
Speaker
Um, if I could ever do something like that, I would want it to be someone totally distant from us that I would never have to see again. He wants to actually have a connection to them, which is way too intimate for me. Because how could anyone hang out with a person who has slept with her boyfriend? Not me. Not me. I'm feeling anxiety, confusion, pain, understanding, and every emotion possible regarding this.
00:11:43
Speaker
He mentioned all of this after I made a new friend that he was attracted to. And he was trying to get me to bring her into our bedroom. At that point also, if you were asking me, I'd be like, no. And now I'm not hanging out with you guys anymore. That's weird. Anyway, go ahead. It has put a strain on me and taken away some of the joy of my new friendship.
00:12:08
Speaker
In my world, I feel like him asking this is a means to an end. If he were to bring in one of my friends into the bedroom to sleep with and have a real connection with them, that would ruin everything for me. The fact that he wants it to be someone he has a connection to is painful. Like why does he need to have a connection? Does he just want to have a whole other girlfriend? I don't know if I could ever get over this.
00:12:31
Speaker
I am, was, completely overjoyed with my boyfriend and haven't wanted to sleep with anybody else. And I don't want to sleep with a woman. And I don't want to watch my boyfriend sleep with another woman. When I told him this, he called me boring and said, this is part of the reason why he doesn't want to marry me. Break up, break up, break up. Like, okay, then we're not getting married. This relationship is going nowhere. Have fun fucking someone else. Yep. Because it's not gonna be me. It's not gonna be me. Nope.
00:12:58
Speaker
That's exactly what I said. I was like, fucking bye. Yeah, and I said it before. Marriage doesn't always have to be the end goal for everybody, but if somebody says, this is why I don't want to marry you, that's it. You're done. I mean, you don't want to be committed to you. Your relationship is going nowhere. Yeah. I don't care what anyone says. I don't care. People are like, oh, marriage just, no. It's not even the marriage part of it. It's the life partner part of it. Yeah.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, you don't have to be married and be committed to somebody for the rest of your life. Like that's totally fine. Especially if you're like, no, we're just not that big. And I just think it's the tax break would be nice, but whatever. But like just for someone to say that, K bye, go fuck whoever you want. Now you're single. Like. Yeah. Everybody in the comments was like, he's telling you that he's attracted to your new friend and he wants to fuck her and he doesn't care what you think about it. Yeah.
00:13:49
Speaker
What are you not seeing here? Because there's, have you seen, did I send you? It's the polyamorous-ness of some of these, not everybody, but of most of these things is I want to cheat and not get caught.
00:14:03
Speaker
And if you are, that's great. I just, I don't know. I don't think I could split that much attention with someone. No, that sounds exhausting. Exhausting. Yeah. Right? Like, and it's, I suppose people will be like, Oh, but I mean, you have like a spouse and then you have kids, you have to give them your attention stuff. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. And it's a different kind of attention. You're giving Tony
00:14:23
Speaker
like a spousal love and my children are not getting that like they wouldn't be getting that kind of attention yeah you know it's different it's way different and spending time with your kids is something you can do together you know and like yeah in a polyamorous relationship you can spend time together but it's different it's an intimate like relationship that you're supposed to be spending your what all two or all three together constantly usually no no
Teen Dating and Family Rules Conflict
00:14:47
Speaker
No. So like, I feel like for the most part from what I've seen it's that like these two people are married but they want to be polyamorous so they also date other people. Not like a throuple. Yeah. Which exists. Sure. But like usually it's the other way around. Yeah I just, it sounds really hard. If that's for you that's great but it's not for me. Not for me.
00:15:09
Speaker
And it's not for her and she has said that. She says she and she doesn't even want to sleep with a woman. Like it'd be one thing if she was interested in experimenting or curious or whatever and like and it's just
00:15:23
Speaker
Wake up, break up. And again, I'm the person that doesn't say everyone should be breaking up all the time. She needs to break up. In this instance, do it before you get married. Absolutely. Please, for the love of God, do not marry this man. And then you don't have to worry about all the taxes and the money and the houses and the... Break up now. Just leave. Just go. Fuck that noise. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to help my stepsister at all?
00:15:52
Speaker
That's in all caps. Because she snitched on me for no reason. I'm 16 and my stepsister is 14. I've known my stepmom for a while and since I was 10. So we have a pretty okay relationship for a while and since I was 10. I don't know, anyway. She had a child from another relationship, which is my stepsister.
00:16:12
Speaker
Surprise. Both are so, I'm a little, I'm immediately hostile towards this girl because I read the story. So anyway, she had a child from another relationship. Both are somewhat strict with things like grades, curfew, internet access, et cetera. And they're especially strict about boys, which I hate. I can't even be friends with one without my dad demanding I either stop talking to them to distance myself from them.
00:16:38
Speaker
We live in a small somewhat bad area and my dad doesn't want me to possibly end up with a junkie or something. I've been secretly dating this guy since freshman year. He's a good guy, top of the class and has a future for himself and respects my education. He's amazing and I love him. I love him. Love him. Love him. Not him, Em. Yes. My stepsister recently had an emergency and she called me downstairs because some guy was acting weird at the time and didn't leave the front of the building.
00:17:08
Speaker
Okay. Okay, yeah. I went immediately and told her to go to my room and stay there. Her bedroom window is near the front. I left my purse there and I guess I was busy outside screaming at the guy to fuck off. I had some friends who live nearby help with the situation. How about the police if it's like that? I guess I'm thinking this is...
00:17:30
Speaker
ghetto, not to, but from the way she's describing some things, it feels like it's more of a ghetto, crazy maybe gang stuff, I don't know. My stepsister snooped through my messages and saw everything and decided to immediately tell mom and dad. I got in big trouble. I got yelled at and had to take out my shelves from my room, which had most of my books slash art supplies. What? And my dad demanded to know why I was dating.
00:17:57
Speaker
I explained everything and he just said that if I think this guy is so damn good, then I could fucking wait. I'm not allowed to leave the room except for necessities. And now I don't help my stepsister with anything. I feel that she had no right to do this. Need help with homework? Too bad. Need help cooking? You're hungry? Too bad. Need money? Too bad. Need pads slash pills? Not my issue. Scared home? Not my issue.
00:18:27
Speaker
Anything at all. I will either ignore her, tell her I'm on punishment duty, or just tell her it's not my issue. I guess this got to her, and at the dinner table my stepsister screamed at me after I refused to pass the food plate.
00:18:44
Speaker
She started to yell about how my punishment is my fault. I told her that I'm not required to help her when she's going to be a snitch. Parents got involved and I'm still not helping her. Stepmom says that how I'm treating her is sick, that my stepsister had every right to report to them when I'm not following the rules. I told my stepmom that she can do that, but I can also lose my trust in her and just decide not to help her.
00:19:09
Speaker
Later evening, my stepsist knocked on the door and said that she gets why I'm angry, but that she's just helping me. I slammed the door in her face and said that I hope she never has a situation where she needs me to keep a secret. My parents are punishing me further. I want to know if I'm wrong or not. I get that, or I get that it's the rules, but I don't think she should be enforcing them.
00:19:31
Speaker
I think their house is full of immature little bitches is what I think. I just like everything I heard come out of this girl's mouth is I'm immature and I'm a snotty brat. Yeah. Like. Yeah. That's pretty much it. I had the rule. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16. All my sisters had that rule. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure Lene ignored it. Anyway though. Yeah.
00:19:52
Speaker
Seems pretty. Pretty standard. Yeah. Especially if you're living in an area where people are drug addicts and possibly in a gang or whatever. I liked how the dad was like, you can fucking wait then. Yeah. That's, yeah. Absolutely. Especially where you started dating at 14. Exactly. Get out of here.
00:20:08
Speaker
Get the fuck out of here. No, you should be dating anyone. And if he is the top of the class and he's the best guy in school, why is that not a conversation of you go to your dad and say, hey dad, I know you say I'm not allowed to date. I am 16 though. And there is this boy that I really like. Can you really meet him? Can you meet him? Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:25
Speaker
What like you want to sit there and you want to act grown and have a boyfriend Yeah, but you're gonna keep it a seeker from everybody.
Guidance on Teen Dating and Responsibilities
00:20:32
Speaker
Yep. That's not yeah, that's not acting grown. That's acting like a child Yeah, and everyone's like oh her side cuz I was reading a bunch of the comments and stuff and they were like your sisters probably Brainwashed by your parents into thinking the boys are bad Boys are bad
00:20:48
Speaker
Boys are bad. Girls are bad. High school is bad. K? All I'm saying is unless you are ready... My rule of thumb is if you look at that person and say, this is the person I'm gonna have sex with, is this the person I'm okay raising a child with for the next 18 years? And longer because it doesn't stop.
00:21:13
Speaker
So that's what I want everyone to think of before you start banging someone. Is this the person I'm okay raising a child with? I know you love them, but you're 16. You're 16. So don't be sneaking around and be pissed when you eventually get caught. Yeah. Because you were going to get caught. I broke the rules and now I got caught. Now I'm mad because I broke the rules.
00:21:37
Speaker
And there are four things- My shelves taken away. Yeah. What is that? I don't know what kind of punishment that is getting shelves taken away. I could see like they took my door off in my room. Yeah. So I didn't have privacy or something, but like shelves. They took my phone away. I could see that, you know, but like shelves is weird. Yeah. Shelves is weird. And guess what? You're probably on your daddy's phone plan. So someone was going to find out eventually. Eventually. Yeah. You're not going to keep this a secret until what you graduate. Exactly. No.
00:22:05
Speaker
Or end up pregnant. I don't know. And if he's so top of his class, guess what? He's probably going to move the fuck away. Go to college. You going with him? Yeah. It just frustrates the hell out of me because teenagers want to act like they're an adult because they don't think the way an adult would think. Yeah, they can't. They can't. But they want to be seen as adults.
00:22:28
Speaker
But they can't and I just, anyway, I was just like, this is a snotty little brat. Was it rude of her sister to snitch on her? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they'd have found out. She's also 14. So she is even more of a child. Yeah.
00:22:42
Speaker
So, and if anything, she was probably looking out for her. She doesn't, she might not know this boy. She just knows my sister has a boyfriend. And we know, and I know the rules are that you shouldn't have a boyfriend until I don't know how old you need to be in your family and stuff. But like, I'm sorry, at 16, I feel like you could at least be going on dates.
00:23:00
Speaker
So if her dad is a raging psychopath and just have him come over for dinner, have him hang out in the living room and play video games. Have them do something together. Have him see who this boy is and stuff, you know? When you're 16, you'll want to start going to the dances and stuff. Your dad's not gonna let you go to dances ever? That's fucked up.
00:23:22
Speaker
You know and for I mean she did say that like she's not even allowed to have boy friends Friends that are boys that seems like an exaggeration. I think that's an exact. I think she's exaggerating I think she's probably just doesn't want the druggie neighbor over at the house probably You can be an adult if you act like an adult. Yeah, and you're not acting like an adult You're sneaking around you're hiding things you want these privileges then maybe act like you deserve them. Yeah, that's fine
00:23:48
Speaker
Gosh, I do not miss that time of life at all. I know. I like being married and coming home and yeah. Okay. Am I the asshole for leaving my stepdaughter's birthday party after my husband threw out the cake I made for her? Just says, I F. I female.
Baking Dispute and Respect in Relationships
00:24:05
Speaker
I've been married to my husband Jeff for a year now. He has a daughter, 12, with his deceased wife. When I first met Jeff, it was obvious that he was struggling as a single parent. For my stepdaughter's birthday, he'd usually get a cake from the bakery. This has been the case since her mom passed away.
00:24:21
Speaker
I thought I'd bake her a birthday cake for her 12th birthday that was last week as a gesture to show some motherly love and support. Jeff agreed and he told me what his daughter's favorite flavors are and what she likes and so on. I baked the cake in the flavor that she likes and the icing that she likes, but the one thing that was missing was blueberries.
00:24:41
Speaker
I don't know why you're putting blueberries on a cake but that's what she wanted. That was the one thing that was missing and I couldn't include them because I went to the nearest store and they didn't have them. I was running out of time and couldn't get them so I ended up just leaving the cake as it was thinking it wouldn't be a big deal.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah, who the fuck is eating blueberries off a cake? A tart. Nobody wants a tart and sweet at the same time. Unless it's like a cheesecake or something, but I don't think it is. The party started and Jeff was busy taking care of everything else. He then came into the kitchen and asked to see the cake before bringing it out. I showed it to him and he got so angry when he saw there were no blueberries on top. Okay, go get them.
00:25:19
Speaker
He went on and on about how I didn't fully commit to making the cake and that he trusted me to take care of it and just basically saying that he should have just ordered one from the bakery. We got into an argument and he ended up taking it and throwing it in the trash can. I would lose my goddamn mind. Oh yeah. If you're gonna be that petty. Yeah. Oh yeah. I was stunned as he said you know what forget it I'll go get one from the bakery.
00:25:45
Speaker
I blew up and screamed at him. He told me to stop, but I went upstairs, got dressed, and left. He tried getting me to stay, but I refused and went to my parents' house. He later called and then texted about how I overreacted and hurt him and my stepdaughter by leaving. He also said that I created this situation by not properly making the birthday cake just because I didn't put blueberries on top. I refused to respond, but my parents say he was justified since he must have felt pressured from the stress of making his daughter happy on her birthday.
00:26:17
Speaker
Sorry, birthdays come every year, okay? I don't fucking care, right? Maybe it's because I'm 32 and I only have 34 left. I don't care, okay? And like, yeah, kids are like, oh, it's my birthday. I'm really excited and stuff, right? But everybody acts like, oh, every year has to be absolutely perfect. For this birthday, it has to be absolutely perfect.
00:26:39
Speaker
Like these parents that are spending hundreds of dollars on like balloon arches and shit for their one-year-old. Yeah, no. I'm like, what are you doing? They don't care. No. They do not care. No. They give zero fucks. They give zero fucks.
00:26:51
Speaker
That's stupid. A couple of balloons are fun and stuff and a cake and we're gonna have a good time. They're one. They can't even play with their friends. Like, they do not care. She's 12. She's probably way more concerned with just running around and having fun with her friends and eating cake. I'd be more upset about her leaving the house. Like, that would make me sad to find out that my dad did that. Oh yeah. I'd be pissed. I'd be pissed. So pissed.
00:27:15
Speaker
Like I really, a lot of the comments were like, part of me wonders if he's like spinning it so that it makes you look like, you know, more of the bad guy to his daughter. Yeah. And not like he was the one who threw out the freaking cake. She didn't want to make your cake right and stuff. And so she's the one who left and everything. She didn't even try to put effort in. She made the whole cake. She made the whole cake.
00:27:36
Speaker
They're not even in season. Nope. Exactly as Blueberry's in his lunch. They're five bucks right now, because they're not in season. And I'm just like, ah. I shouldn't see if there's any good comments. What a fucking dick. I wouldn't say divorce worthy, but that's absolutely disrespectful. Right? Well, does he act this way normally? Yeah. Is this random? Is this a weird? If you can pass it off as stress, maybe. Maybe. But if this is not shocking,
00:28:05
Speaker
Get out. You need to leave. I'd look him dead in the face and say, would you do that to your daughter? If she made you a cake and forgot this and wasn't able to get the blueberries, would you throw it in the trash? That's a good point. That one made me sad. Absolutely. I want every single fucking guy to look at that. How you treat your spouse, your kids see that. Do you want your daughter to end up with someone who treats their spouse like you treat your spouse? Right.
00:28:32
Speaker
Do you want your son to treat your spouse like how you, like their future spouse? That's what I always think. It's not just about how you're treating them. It's about how they're going to learn that they need to treat or be treated. Right. So. And like, what if she's out in the living room with her friends and they can hear you fighting in the kitchen? Yep. On her birthday. On her birthday. Yeah. In front of her friends. I've been that kid sitting there while parents are fighting. Yep. It's awkward. So it's awkward as hell. I've been that kid where the parent comes in starts screaming at the kid and you're just like,
00:29:01
Speaker
Fuck it, Karen's dad never got my name right, not once. So he would just be like, Ashley needs to go home. And I'd be like, okay. Bye. Bye. That's me. That's funny. I think I could see being upset. Be like, you couldn't even.
00:29:17
Speaker
You know, you could go to other places like text me you're gonna be a tiny bit late because oh, I need to get this blueberries from the fucking cake But you actually take the effort to put it in the fucking trash Makes me irate like I would lose my mind. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm I do not blame her for walking. No, I don't blame her at all. No, that's definitely it No, I'm spending a few days at my parents house. Fuck off. See ya. Yep. Yep
00:29:41
Speaker
Have fun with your baking cake. I've never gotten to that point when Zach and I have an argument. I've never gotten to the point where I'm like, I'm gonna go stay somewhere else for a night or two. Never. That, however, absolutely, absolutely.
00:29:53
Speaker
Good on you, I also have never been in that place. I don't ever want to be in that place. I've been the whole like, I'm gonna go for a walk and we take, or you know, like Zach will take a walk or I'll take a walk or whatever, but like, we never been to the, I'm just not sleeping here tonight, thing, like, yeah. My next one. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to step aside so my ex's wife can support my kids alone for some of their activities?
Parental Roles and Step-parenting Conflicts
00:30:17
Speaker
okay okay i 32 f am divorced am a divorced mom of two my son is 11 and my daughter is nine my ex and i ended our relationship in 2017 and he remarried in 2021 his wife has no children of her own
00:30:32
Speaker
This topic is one that she approached me a few times with. Starting when my ex first married her, she told me that now they were a two-parent household, there was no need for me to show up to all games, recitals, plays, etc., because she was going to them, and there only needed to be one. They are my children.
00:30:54
Speaker
I ignored her because I have always gone to that kind of thing. I'm self-employed, so I can easily plan my working day around events for my kids. My kids also want me there. They always tell me about the bigger moments in their extracurriculars or school and tell me when I should be there or if I need tickets, etc. My ex goes when he can, which is not often, and he never goes to anything he doesn't consider big enough.
00:31:19
Speaker
Oh, right. Which I mean, I'm also the type of just like every single piano practice. I don't need to go to that. Like just, you know, but the recitals and stuff. Yeah. You should be going to things like that. Like that's what your kids remember. Yes. You know, when you're not at the audience, they remember. They look. Yep. I've seen those videos of the kids when they walk up on stage and they look and they're looking for the family. And as soon as they see their family, their face lights up, they light up. Yep. Yep.
00:31:46
Speaker
And I'm just like, okay, if you don't want to go to those, all those events, like, or it's, I mean, it's a little different. I suppose if like your job prevents it and stuff, but like, and, and that's, could be a conversation you have with your kids. Like, I would love to be there for you guys. I totally would. It's just, it's a little hard. I have a job and I need, and I know that's hard for you guys to understand, but like,
00:32:06
Speaker
You know, talk to your kids. They're people. They may not understand everything and you don't have to put, guys, I just have so much stress and I have so many bills. No, but they understand mom and dad need to work. You know, and get away from work today. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I wish I could be there, but how about we get ice cream next time we go out together? Just you and me, we'll go get ice cream or something, you know, like I'll make sure mom sends me the video of it and yeah, we can watch it at home or something.
00:32:33
Speaker
or like yeah mom will be there and and bonus mom will be there too and stuff right and like and I'm sorry I can't be there but they'll show me and I'm so proud of you for doing I just don't understand yep like kids understand they're sad but they're understanding at least try to talk to them oh yeah especially if you're like oh but we can do this thing together or why don't you show me next time you come over to my house you should play your song on the piano or yeah exactly yeah
00:32:58
Speaker
Anyway, okay. Ex's wife mentioned to me again last year that she wanted to go alone and needed to only show or and I needed to only show up when it's my parenting time.
00:33:11
Speaker
No. Right? Oh my God. Yet again, I ignored her request and continued showing up. My ex mentioned it to me also and I told him that we could both go to their activities whenever we like and it's not dictated by the court order since it doesn't take parenting time to show up and support our children. My son had a recital a couple of weeks ago and he told me they were asked if they could get parental volunteers. I said, of course I would do it.
00:33:41
Speaker
My ex's wife had asked when she was picking him up from his dance class one day if she could do more. They mentioned volunteers and she offered. We both arrived together and she was upset the whole two hours we were helping out. She was especially upset when I stayed.
00:33:57
Speaker
Afterwards, she told me that she's trying to create a special bond with the kids, but they will never want her around as long as I am there. And if I was a good person slash mom, I would do the right thing and not show up every time and give her a chance to do it so she can show an extra effort for my kids. You have your own parent time to do whatever the fuck you want to do with my children. Yep.
00:34:19
Speaker
Bond then yeah absolutely I can be here as much as you can if you were like hey Do you want to do you guys just want to go to the park or whatever or hey? How about yeah, show me your dancer side. Let's practice together like yeah, cuz I'm totally okay I I'm okay with bonus parents. Mm-hmm. You have to be a bonus parent though co-parent not the parent. Yep, like I
00:34:39
Speaker
I want you to love my kids. I want my kids to love you. You don't have to dictate this. Yeah. My children should be with a person that I would be like, if I died right this second, I would be okay with them taking home my kids. I would be happy with you. I would be comfortable with you. Yeah. Like not hostile and not just like co-parent. Mm hmm. Work together. Exactly. For the benefit of your children. Yep. Jesus Christ. I know. I just get so frustrated. Nobody can act mature about anything. Yeah. Like I just. It's awful. Right.
00:35:10
Speaker
I told her I will always show up for my kids or I will always show up as long as my kids want me and as long as I can physically do it. She told me her relationship with the kids is important though and I honestly told her it's not important to me.
00:35:25
Speaker
that my kids wishes are as well as my relationship to them is more important. My ex's wife told me I was an ass and she called me selfish and a jealous baby mama and accused me of unreasonable hatred. My ex also gave me a hard time about it afterward. I understand where stepmom is coming from, but she does not get to make that choice. You do not get to tell me to not show up to my children's shit. That makes zero sense.
00:35:55
Speaker
And what am I supposed to tell my kids? Sorry, your stepmom doesn't want me there? No. Because then- If you want me there, I'm coming. Exactly. I will be there. Right? Why can't you guys be sitting next to each other, cheering them on? Yeah. I feel like it would mean more if they were there together and they could see their parents-
00:36:11
Speaker
Oh yeah, seeing that my stepmom would be coming even though my mom is there and stuff and just being like, Oh, I wanted to come support you guys. I would love that. And I would say, Hey, since it's the four of us, should we go get some ice cream? Should we go get to get dinner? Or like, it's your, like, even though it's
00:36:27
Speaker
or I don't even know, like- Parenting time, whatever. Yeah, like even if you both show up, you guys can be the ones to take them out to dinner and ice cream, or you can do the celebrating, but I'm still gonna come to the actual event. You can have that special time, I guess. Exactly. And then I'll take them out the next time or whatever. That's so dumb. It's so dumb. And it's always these crazy moms are like, oh, I don't have my own kids and stuff, so I'm gonna make your kids my children. They're mine, they're not yours anymore. And I'm just like,
00:36:57
Speaker
Fuck off. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Okay.
Honesty in Parent-Child Relationships
00:37:01
Speaker
Am I the asshole for telling my 14 year old daughter that she's average looking?
00:37:07
Speaker
I'm sure you can tell where this is going. I 39 female. I think it depends actually. Okay. Okay, go ahead. I 39 female have a very insecure daughter. Oh. Female 14. No. Who has a depressingly unhealthy obsession with her looks.
00:37:27
Speaker
she often avoids mirrors and pictures because her mood instantly drains when she sees herself. She constantly asks her father and me if we think she's pretty and we always tell her the same thing that she's a beautiful girl inside and out. As I understand how most teenagers teenage girls are with their body image as I was one at some point myself, my daughter's vanity is not only becoming exhausting to those around her but I fear it's causing her to slowly lose herself. And therapy?
00:37:57
Speaker
Yesterday, I decided to sit her down to chat with her about this, to discuss what's bothering her, and to see if she's willing to visit a therapist. She told me she didn't want to talk about it, but as her mother, of course, I'm going to be worried about her, so I insisted and she finally agreed. A few minutes into this conversation, she asked exactly this.
00:38:17
Speaker
Mom, I want you to be completely honest with me. That means no sugarcoating. The kids at my school think I'm ugly and say I look like a bird because I have a big nose. Do you really think I'm beautiful or are you just lying? I'm an honest person, so I gave her the most honest answer I had. I told her she was average looking like most people in the world are and that it's not a bad thing to have an average appearance.
00:38:42
Speaker
She immediately got up and left without saying a word and just went into her room for the rest of the night. Today, she has been cold and distant, and I think I upset her, which wasn't my intention at all." Okay. Yeah, no, that's... Because I was gonna say, if she was over here being like, oh, I'm the prettiest girl in all the fucking world and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm so high and mighty and bullshit and treating other people like shit, and I would probably try to take you down a notch, be like, you're average. Get over yourself. You are pretty. You are. But chill out. But chill out, yeah.
00:39:11
Speaker
As a mother, I feel like I immediately was thinking when you said that she has a big nose, I'd have whipped out my phone and started pulling up all of these actresses with big noses and been like, is she pretty? Is she pretty? Is she pretty? Yes, it doesn't matter that you have a big nose.
00:39:27
Speaker
people are mean. Fucking eyebrows McGee has her eyebrows. Fucking um lots of people have ridiculously. Barbara Streisand wouldn't get a nose job because she liked her Jewish nose. Exactly. So yeah the fact that she knows
00:39:42
Speaker
When she said her daughter's vanity, that pissed me the fuck off. You can tell how upset she is. She won't even look in the mirror anymore because she hates the way she looks and she hates the way people make her feel. And she just said, kids at school are making fun of me? That is the point now? I would be going to the school and be like, who are the kids? Who are the kids? And now you're no better than them. Yeah, who's bullying my kid? Yeah.
00:40:07
Speaker
You know, I mean, if you, if she was like, if you wanted to be that honest person where you don't feel like you're lying to her, I'd say, sweetheart, I think you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world. You're my daughter. Yes, you have a bigger nose, but that doesn't matter. Like you're going to find someone who loves your big, adorable nose. Like these people suck. Don't listen to them. They are probably just as jealous. They're just as insecure as you. Nobody sits there and tells their kids anymore. Like, oh, everybody else is like,
00:40:37
Speaker
No, you're just perfect the way you are. You're so perfect. You don't need to change anything about yourself, which I also agree with to some extent and stuff. But like, they're never over here like, that kid probably super jealous that you're taller than him. That girl over there is probably like jealous that you're skinnier than her. There's things about you that they do like, but they're not going to tell you because they're jealous and they want to hurt you. And while you shouldn't hurt them back,
00:41:04
Speaker
Just don't listen to him. Yeah, you know don't take it personally I would never look at any of my friends be like what you have a big nose Yeah, like fucking bird, but yeah, but I promise I'd be going to a school and being like who is it? Who's the kid? Let me give them a black eye. Yeah, but instead she said I'm an honest person Yeah, I'll be honest with my daughter. You're jealous of your own daughter you bitch like and here and she if you're also concerned that she is
00:41:27
Speaker
constantly asking if she's pretty. It shouldn't be a question of, do you want to see a therapist? We're gonna see a therapist, honey. Like, we're gonna. You need some help. You need some help. And mom and dad don't have all the answers. And I'm an advocate for therapy. I think therapy works. Not every therapist is a good therapist, though. It's true. A lot of people think that therapy is this magic pill that's gonna fix everything.
00:41:56
Speaker
And it doesn't. No. You're the light bulb that has to want to change. So. Yep. Yep. Yep. It only works as much as you want it to work. Yep. So. That made me sad. Right? A poor girl. Right. A poor girl. Just being honest. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Right? Like, if you wanted to be that honest, honey, you may not be a supermodel gorgeous girl, but you're still gorgeous. Yeah. That doesn't, you know, nobody is super, supermodel gorgeous.
00:42:20
Speaker
Most of their pictures are photoshopped. So like, no one looks like that. Yeah, nobody looks like that. If you're saying just being honest, then you're probably being a bitch. Yeah, you're being a bitch. Yep.
00:42:31
Speaker
Okay, this is my last one. Am I the asshole for making an if he's not ready on time, he stays home policy against my wife's wishes.
Punctuality Policy and Marital Conflict
00:42:41
Speaker
Okay, my wife, 31 female, and I, 33 male, have a three-year-old boy. He currently goes to daycare during the day. Okay, sorry, go on. Oh, what? Nothing? Oh, I generally drop him off and then my wife's mother will pick him up. My wife cannot drive, so she unfortunately cannot take him. Okay.
00:43:00
Speaker
I have found that if I get my son out the door by 8 45, I can get him to daycare and then be on time for work. Unfortunately, my wife tends to drag her feet when getting him fed and ready. So she has caused me to be late multiple times.
00:43:15
Speaker
I am in a field where I simply cannot be late, and therefore this situation is unacceptable. I have been late four times since he started going to daycare, and my wife has only gotten less consistent. Last Wednesday, I realized that if I waited for my wife to get him fully ready, I'd be late to work. I simply walked out the door. She called me screaming angrily, but I told her that if she didn't want him to stay home, she should have had him ready on time.
00:43:41
Speaker
The next day she managed to get him out right at 8.45, but on Friday it became clear again that she was going to cause me to be late. I just simply walked out the door. She texted me multiple times, and when I got home around 11pm, she had a lot to say about it. I don't think I'm the asshole for my policy, seeing as I simply cannot afford to be late to work, but I wonder if there's something I'm not seeing here.
00:44:04
Speaker
Okay, so is she a stay-at-home mom that's not taking care of her child? Yes. I could get like maybe if he only goes for a couple hours like if he comes home at lunchtime or something. Because to socialize, right? Because like staying at home constantly is not a good thing, you know? Yeah. But no, he also works if you notice that. Yes.
00:44:26
Speaker
from like 9.30 a.m. till 11 p.m. He works two jobs to support their household. I went and read the comments. She doesn't take care of their son. She doesn't watch him during the day. He spends like the whole day at daycare. Her mother comes to pick the son up, takes him to their house, and then watches him for most of the afternoon.
00:44:48
Speaker
in the world he and people are like so she doesn't work at all he says no
00:44:57
Speaker
And she doesn't drive? Nope. What does she do? He says, I think she watches YouTube and TV all day because he does most of the cleaning too. I read the comments on here. He could be lying, of course. Right. Right. But the whole time though, was people were like, wait, so you're not saying what she brings. Like a few people were like, question, question, question. He would answer something. And they said something along the lines of like, what is she bringing to the marriage? Right? Yeah.
00:45:21
Speaker
And he answered the first couple of questions. He didn't say anything after that. And they were like, you didn't answer the other question. And he says, you're correct. So he's not bashing his wife at all. People ask a question, does she work? And he says, no, she has anxiety issues. Oh, no.
00:45:35
Speaker
I don't care if you have anxiety issues that you have anxiety issues. Yeah, you go to fucking work. Yeah. Well, I work at home now. Yeah, but still I did but you do your job. Yes, I do. Right? She could get a stay at home job. She could get a stay at home job. Yeah. There's so many now that are stay at home jobs. There's so many that you don't even have to fucking talk to people.
00:45:53
Speaker
I'd even consider it where I'm just like, maybe I should get into data entry and just stay home all day. But I would lose my mind being at home all day. At least you have Adam though. So like- He's at school all day now. Oh, I guess that's true. Yeah. So yeah, but I think- I'm just busy at work all day. I guess that's true. I think I would just lose my mind if I was in home all day. But you don't have to do stupid people. It's true. It's very nice. People getting mad at me for not knowing the exact longitude and latitude of the best place in Bryce Canyon to see the sunrise.
00:46:19
Speaker
Do they not own Google? How do you Google that? How do you Google that? Just put it in. I'm sure it's on the website. Yeah, I had a guest upset with me for that. I've had guests upset with me because I didn't know the exact type of ferns that we have in the pool house. I've had people upset with me because I can't keep Paulin out of the room.
00:46:36
Speaker
I've had people upset with me because we get construction workers that stay with us and a lot of the time their boots stink so they like to leave them outside their door. And we had one lady send us a picture of some boots outside of a room and told us that we're sex trafficking children.
00:46:52
Speaker
because that's a sign of sex trafficking is having boots outside of a door of a hotel room. I was like, maybe in Vegas. I don't know. Like, okay. Um, the weirdest fucking thing. I had a gentleman roar at me the other day. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I asked him if he'd like a receipt and he said, yes, he would love one. I said, do you want that printed or emailed? And he says, well, I'm kind of an old dinosaur. So I would like mine printed. I was like, absolutely. So I printed for him and he goes, you know how I'm an old dinosaur? I said, how? And he goes, and I never had that happen.
00:47:24
Speaker
First time for everything, I guess. Yep, every day I go to work and I think it's gonna be the same thing every day. No. It's different. Wow. Yep. Okay. I had an old lady come in one time, she willed in her in her little like scooter cart thingy. I asked how her stay was, she said everything was good except for the people that we let in her room and I thought, oh shit, because we've done that before where you think that someone's not in an occupied room or or you gave someone keys for this room and you didn't
00:47:50
Speaker
change the room and their system and whatever, it happens in every hotel. It can happen. It's just a clerical error and yeah, it sucks. More often than not, people have the dead bolts on the door, so you can't get through that and stuff, right? But she was upset saying that someone had come into her room last night and said, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that. Like, I hope we got you some new keys and everything. She was like, well, it was fine until he started doing acupuncture on me. And I thought, oh, okay, we're not having a real conversation then, huh?
00:48:14
Speaker
She just kept going off about how she was upset because they keep spraying. Every hotel room has spray that comes out of the machines that look like smoke detectors, but they're not smoke detectors. They're machines that spray something that makes you have to go to the bathroom. But because she has a hard time getting up out of the bed, she has to sleep with diapers on.
00:48:41
Speaker
And then a man came into her room last night and he started doing acupuncture on her. And she was really upset that we let someone do that. You got free acupuncture, lady. I know. And I was just like... What are you complaining about? Um, no, we don't... And she goes, and I would call the police if they would ever do anything about it. Every time they show up, they say there's nothing they can do. I was like, you're calling the police about this? You need a travel companion, my dear. Yes, she does. I was just like... You need a caretaker.
00:49:07
Speaker
Yeah. I get the weirdest fucking peop- I could make an entire- Yes. An entire- I'm gonna reel you back in. Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry. You got one more, right? I do. Okay. But I wasn't finished with what we were talking about. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's okay. So anyway, um, before we realized that she is not doing anything in her life- Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I was gonna say, like, is there not anything he can do to help her in the mornings? Right? Or, like, did he try talking to her about it before just leaving him at home?
00:49:36
Speaker
I know, and for half a second I thought, why is he not getting him ready? And then I thought he's getting himself ready for work. And she's not going anywhere. She's not going anywhere. She's not doing fuck all. She's not doing anything. And yet he very much, like he was being way too polite to his wife in the comments. That is very nice.
00:49:53
Speaker
And like a lot of his comments are like really short answers and stuff. So to me, this guy is a blue collar guy and he probably just doesn't know how to use Reddit very well and stuff. And he's a short quiet person and stuff, but not short. He's a short talking quiet person. He may or may not be sure. I don't fucking know.
00:50:09
Speaker
I'm not trying to say he's short and quiet. Like, no. But yeah, no, I'm just over here like, so this bitch isn't doing anything for her own child. And some people were like, well, maybe she has PPD or whatever. And I'm like three years in and she's not doing anything to help herself. Yeah, she needs to be in therapy. And other people- If she's too anxious to work, if she's depressed. All these other people are saying PPD is an explanation, not an excuse. And I-
00:50:39
Speaker
I love that. I love that so much because everybody's like, oh, people are using their disabilities as blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, an explanation is not an excuse, right? I have attention deficit disorder. I just went on a rant. You all just heard me.
00:50:58
Speaker
Shannon still calls me out for my shit. So she just told me we need to reel back in, right? And I feel bad. I don't like being that person that goes off on random tangents talking about nonsense. I like it. Thank you. I don't. People act all the time like, oh my gosh, yeah, ADD is so fun. It's just like, squirrel.
00:51:18
Speaker
No, no, no. I have the same conversations in my head six times over sometimes because, and it's not an OCD thing. I just have to repeat that sometimes in my head. Oh yeah, mine's an OCD thing. Yeah. Sure. Nobody wants that. No. But for her to like, for people to be like, well, she probably has this. If she does, she's get help.
00:51:38
Speaker
Okay? So it's like a people being like, no, no, they're fine. This is a thing. No, you're not telling a diabetic to not take their insulin. Yep. You're not taking my dog who has epilepsy to not take his phenobarbital. Okay? He's, he doesn't care either way, but I care. You know, if I was having seizures, do you think I would be taking my medications? Absolutely. So why are we not treating
00:52:02
Speaker
freaking mental brain illness the same we absolutely should yeah so many people are just like no no no i just i have this disability and it's fine i'm coming from two people who are not medicated right i need to be i just haven't gone back to the doctor to get it so it's just a i'm lazy because i have add so like but
00:52:23
Speaker
You know? But I also function fairly well, especially when I'm at work, I'm in my work mode and I'm able to do things really well. But like, here we're having fun, we're just chatting, we're bitching about people and stuff. Yeah, that's what we do. That's what we do. But for people to let that ruin lives, their own lives.
00:52:41
Speaker
Yep. You're crippling yourself. You're crippling yourself. Absolutely. Or you're taking advantage of your situation and letting your husband do twice the work for you to do nothing. He literally is doing twice the work. He works two jobs. At least twice. If not more than that. If not more than that.
00:52:57
Speaker
for you to sit at home and not have your child there and not do anything. Also, how many daycares feed your kids in the morning? Almost all of them will. It's true. Yep. Especially because there's a lot of parents that can't, they don't have time. They literally get up, get their kids dressed, put them in the car and go to work. And they get them to the daycare and they're like, here you go, please feed my kids. That's what I'm paying you for. Thank you, bye. I'm gonna do one more
School Preparation and Parental Decision-Making Conflict
00:53:20
Speaker
real quick. Yeah. Am I the asshole for ordering something special for my daughter without telling my husband?
00:53:26
Speaker
What's the something? We'll see. Okay. My daughter, five female, is starting kindergarten tomorrow and has been extremely nervous all summer. Okay. While browsing Amazon, I came across a first day of school chalkboard and bought one with chalk markers to do with my daughter the night before school starts. Okay. They came in the mail very quickly, so I put them aside with a few other purchases as I didn't need them for a few days and the family was getting ready to go away for Labor Day vacation. Then tonight.
00:53:54
Speaker
The Monday before school starts, my daughter and I went to pick up some school supplies and then returned home to play in the pool in the yard. My husband, 41 male, refused to be outside with myself and the kids. I also have a two-year-old. Okay. Because the weather was hot. He played video games inside for two hours. Okay. When the kids and I went inside at 6 p.m., I gave the kids baths because it was my night. I'm just fine. That's fine, yeah. And then cooked dinner for everybody.
00:54:23
Speaker
After dinner, I sat down with... I think if you're the parent that's taking care of the kids, the other parents should be the one making dinner. Because I think that's a fairly easy, like... Like, I'll make dinner while you're doing baths. Yeah. So by the time you're done, it's ready. Yeah. Yeah. And then I don't have to be dealing with the kids in the bath. Yeah. I can just make dinner. Yeah. After dinner, I sat down with Tegan, the five-year-old, to fill out the chalkboards so I wouldn't... Oh, so it would dry for tomorrow's picture.
00:54:50
Speaker
My husband came storming into the living room where we were sitting. Immediately he started arguing with me over the boards. He was upset because 1. I didn't ask him before purchasing or show him what I was purchasing. 2. I didn't inform him of the purchase. And 3. I didn't inform him what the boards were or when I was going to fill them out with my daughter.
00:55:11
Speaker
He accused me in front of my daughter of being selfish, inconsiderate, and rude in regards to his feelings. He called me disgusting. When I suggested he sit down on the couch with us, he claimed he was still eating and therefore not ready. When I reminded him the boards were for our daughter going to kindergarten, he replied that I screwed up by not including him. I once again invited him to sit on the couch with us, but he said no. He went into the kitchen and hasn't spoken to me since
00:55:38
Speaker
Hasn't spoken to me since, even though I have been reminding him that we will be taking pictures tomorrow and we will be dropping her off together. Was I an asshole for not sharing the simple boards with him before purchasing? The whole point is for my daughter to hold them while we celebrate her milestone with her. Not to worry about who's filling them out. Did I screw up? I thought as parents we were supposed to be caring about our daughter and her worries about school. Was I the asshole? Here's Googled.
00:56:06
Speaker
those boards they're so cheap $8.99 if you're that married about expenses and this is not the first thing that she has posted really yeah a lot of people were like I went back on her page and there's a lot gosh of him yeah
00:56:22
Speaker
Like, and this is what your daughter is going to remember the night before she has to start scary kindergarten that she's been nervous about. Yep. Makes me so sad that he would freak out about this. Again, this is another one of those things we go back to is this person, the person you want to raise your kids with. Yep. Like all these women want, that's aside, he's acting like an asshole. Absolutely. Fuck that guy. But like women want to ignore all this shit.
00:56:48
Speaker
that have their kids and then get pissy that they're acting the exact same way they've been acting the entire time. True. Yeah. You knew this. You knew this. Yeah. You knew this. Yeah. Super quickly. The other ones. I'm not going to read them, but I did read them earlier. One of them was she put the kids to bed. Her husband was down in his man cave in the basement playing like a magic online kind of game, right?
00:57:10
Speaker
she started making magic players bad names i know right she started making cookies um because she told her kids that they could have cookies the next day or something and he came up screaming at her because she was using the mixer and how dare she interrupt his online gaming with his friends and she's being so inconsiderate of him and his friends and the kids sleeping in the next room she's like they're not awake yeah you're downstairs
00:57:36
Speaker
I need to use this for five minutes. And he freaked out at her. If he wants, listen, as a gamer, as a gaming wife, as a wife of a gamer, fuck him. He wants to be a gamer and have his own quiet time. He can sit in a shitty ass apartment. Yep. By himself. By himself.
00:57:57
Speaker
Again, as a person who doesn't think people should be divorcing at every left and right turn, but I think people need to be way more choosy of who they marry, but don't expect perfection, because there's some people that are like, oh no, I won't even settle in this, they're perfect, and I'm like, we're gonna find one. But like, don't pick someone you're not compatible with.
00:58:18
Speaker
like yeah yeah i love my husband yeah don't absolutely i love my husband does he piss me off occasionally you bet your butt sure yeah well i'm still here you're still there yeah i'm sure tony pisses you off sometimes yeah and vice versa yeah exactly i'm sure i i piss back off a lot but like are you still here tony's still there
00:58:37
Speaker
Mm-hmm, you know both of which are still gaming. Yeah, right. There's some days where I'm just like man I wish he wasn't gaming so much and I tell him I say hey, honey Do you want to do this instead and he says can I finish this up really quick and I say yeah. Mm-hmm Weird how communication helps right but also not having an asshole husband weird. Oh
00:58:56
Speaker
I'm not saying my husband's perfect. I think it's pretty dang good. Yeah, like and not every spouse is gonna be perfect. It's just Don't have kids with someone that you see red flags from the beginning. Yep, cuz I guarantee you something like this happened before they had children Absolutely. Yeah, they've clearly been together for at least more than five years. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm
00:59:19
Speaker
So in the nine months before she had a baby, they had to have at least met pregnant nine months. Yep. And then it's been years since then. Yeah. Yeah. I'll raise the baby on my own. Yeah. Yep. No, thank you. Nope. Yeah. The other thing was the five year old was sick with an ear infection and they were going to take her to the doctor in a couple hours. And so they were fighting over what was best to do for her. And the wife was like, well, I have a heating, a heated blanket. We can just like lay it on her ears. So like the heat will help her.
00:59:49
Speaker
And he was like, no, she needs a wet hot rag on her ear. And she was like, we can't get water in her ear. And they were like fighting over this. And he like called her an idiot and said her choices were garbage. Like in front of the daughter, they were having this argument. And I'm just like. Move along, move along ma'am. Right? Move along. Be done. Okay. Cause if he's screaming at you for this kind of shit. In front of your children. In front of your children. Stupid shit. It's gonna escalate.
01:00:17
Speaker
I feel there's a slight difference if people have arguments and they're like, oh, he was screaming at me, but he made sure our kids were out of the room. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. You can scream at each other. It's normal for people to have arguments. Yeah, absolutely. People need to ask like, oh, he was yelling at me and stuff, but people have emotions. People are allowed to have emotions. And it's okay to have discussions in front of your kid because they need to know what resolution looks like. Absolutely. They need to see what a healthy discussion looks like. Yeah, but not fighting and calling each other names.
01:00:46
Speaker
No, cause again, again, that kind of behavior, you are letting your daughter know this is how she deserves to be treated when she dates. She will find that man or that person when she grows up. Yep. 100%. Absolutely.
01:01:01
Speaker
Right? And the people that are out there just being like, oh, I'm going to cheat on my spouse. Good job. You are showing your children how they deserve to be treated. Do you think for a second, a dad would actually be okay with his daughter being cheated on? No, no, no.
01:01:16
Speaker
No. But that's what you did. That's exactly what you just fucking did to my mom. You're showing her with your actions. Yep. Instead of just ending things amicably. You're showing your son with your actions. That his commitment doesn't matter. That his commitment is nothing. Yep. Because her friend is real cute. And if she doesn't want it, then I'll take it. Yeah. Like I just, ugh. It drives me insane. And I'm not even, like I'm not a parent. So I can't give too much parenting advice. But like. You know the way the world works though. I do. I'm not stupid. Yeah. You know. You're an adult.
01:01:45
Speaker
I've been around children enough, you know, I know what not to do. That's for damn sure. Exactly. Anyway though, we're at almost two hours. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, um, I'm done. Are you done? I'm done. Okay. Yep. That was it. Thanks everyone. Thanks for judging assholes with us. We love you. Have a great time.
01:02:06
Speaker
Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode. Let us know what you think by leaving a comment or sending us an email at bmoviebashpodcast at gmail.com. You can listen to our episodes on all your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Stitcher, Google, Apple, Amazon Music, and Audible, or you can find the video versions on our YouTube channel. If you want to support the podcast, you can find our coffee link on our anchor page. Make sure to like, subscribe, and tell your friends!