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Wolfsenger | B-Movie Bash! | #JY S3E30
68 Plays1 year ago
"An estranged family reunites in a secluded mountain village after the family's grandmother has passed. The family's lives are quickly upended when something from an old fairytale seems to be hunting them down..."
Today's episode was extra fun and extra terrible. Alyssa shared with us the story of Wolfsenger, a not-so-great movie based on the ancient legends of werewolves and "wolfsengers," otherwise known as guardians who are chosen to keep their villages safe from the wild beasts. And t's a WILD ride to say the least!
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Transcript
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Sustainable Design and Personal Stories
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Scent Options and Discounts
00:00:45
Speaker
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00:01:02
Speaker
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How to Purchase Wild Deodorant
00:01:12
Speaker
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Podcast Hosts Introduction and Theme Change
00:01:33
Speaker
Hello everybody. Hello. My name is Shannon. I'm losing my voice. I'm Alyssa. Welcome back to another episode of Hashtag Judging You. Except this week we have another. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. What are we doing? I don't know. I'm just giving some extra beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
00:01:53
Speaker
I'm a little sad because I was supposed to watch Jack and Jill 2 and I did watch most of it but I didn't take notes and then I went out of town and then I was on a conference and then I came back and then I didn't finish it but I will watch it and I will present it but this week we have other things
00:02:15
Speaker
We were gonna do Am I the Assholes? And then Alyssa remembered that she had watched a movie part way through and had taken some notes. So she decided to go finish the movie in the notes.
Movie Connections and Nursery Rhyme Themes
00:02:26
Speaker
So we have a movie again today. Pause. Oh yes. We need to explain the revelation that we had last time we recorded because you guys... So we did Jack and Jill last time.
00:02:41
Speaker
and we were looking at other movies that they had done and these two idiots did not ever connect that same people who did Jack and Jill also did Spider in the Attic which the tagline is like
00:02:58
Speaker
It's not so itsy bitsy. Yeah, there's nothing itsy bitsy about this spider or something. And Humpty Dumpty. They didn't have to. They're doing the nursery rhymes. All of them. Yeah. I think there's like a little Red Riding Hood one. Oh my gosh. I think there's like, there was a couple others. Yeah.
00:03:15
Speaker
So we just I didn't really yeah, I did not realize they were connected Yeah, so like we just definitely like we need to just have an entire like block of nursery rhyme Shitty movies and stuff. Yeah, so like I like sent a little video and I was like, oh my gosh They did Humpty Dumpty do they should do a mother goose movie. Oh, I don't know how they would do that But it's gonna be bad interesting.
Humorous Exchanges
00:03:39
Speaker
Uh-huh. Sure
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah, we should just knock them all out because they're all gonna be bad. They're all, yeah. 100%. They're gonna be bad. I just don't understand how they keep getting funding. Like, who's the rich baby, you know, that's just like, yeah, my dad pays for me to make movies. For real. Like, somebody has to be because I don't.
00:03:59
Speaker
Yeah. But anyway. Shannon's got a joke for us. We always have to get a joke in before we do anything else. Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees? Why? Because they're really good at it.
00:04:34
Speaker
This is my new goal every time I told you Okay
Introduction to 'Wolfsanger' Movie
00:05:01
Speaker
Do I hear a dumb one? Yeah. Hey Alyssa. Yeah. Do your socks have holes in them? A lot of them do. You're supposed to say no. No! Then how do you put your feet in them?
00:05:23
Speaker
the socks that I get cuz I don't like thick socks so I always get thin socks yeah they wear through really fast I only get like maybe six or seven wears out of them kind of a thing Wow so six or seven
00:05:37
Speaker
Yeah, they're really thick. I don't know. I don't know how many times I wear the same pair of socks. So like, it's, I mean, they all look exactly the same. So like, okay, I have one more that's also stupid. So I had to go to the hospital the other day for a peekaboo accident. What's a peekaboo accident? I don't know, but they put me in the ICU. Your little valley girl ICU. ICU. Okay, I'm done.
00:06:07
Speaker
Now for my joke. 2019's Wolfsanger. Wolfsanger. It's German. The movie's not German. Wolfsanger. Wolfsanger.
00:06:30
Speaker
The movie's not German, but it's set in Germany. It has a 2.8 out of 10 on IMDb. And the synopsis is an estranged family reunites in a secluded mountain village after the family's grandmother has passed.
Character and Plot Development
00:06:45
Speaker
The family's lives are quickly upended when something from an old fairy tale seems to be hunting them down.
00:06:50
Speaker
Why does this sound exactly like the elf movie? I don't know. It's even set in Germany. Yeah. This sounds exactly like the elf movie. What? So, okay. So, and honestly, I actually really like this opening scene. I thought they did really go with this one. It's, okay, so it's not...
00:07:09
Speaker
Um, it definitely had a little bit more of a budget. Um, it wasn't like it was filmed on like a personal cell phone or anything. Like it wasn't bad. Uh, it seemed like they actually had a budget for a camera, but like, can you compare the quality to a different movie? Um, it's about the quality of like, like a, like a better movie, like, um, fucking shit.
00:07:34
Speaker
I just based the name of the video game one where they're playing the video game alive Stay alive. Yes. It's like it's it's like that kind of camera quality, but it's
00:07:46
Speaker
Almost almost there not exactly but it's so they like had a camera crew, but not like necessarily a professional camera crew Like it was it was definitely probably more than one guy and more than one camera, but like gotcha It wasn't the best. Yeah, the audio wasn't very good in a couple parts of it, but it's fine. So So we open to a scene of a peaceful village at night and it says Cruz. I think that's how you pronounce it 1492
00:08:12
Speaker
Oh, that's a long time ago. When Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And we come across, or it comes across on the screen, and we watch as clouds pass over a full moon. When suddenly we hear a scream and the camera flashes to four men running through the trees, all carrying an axe or a club. They've all got a weapon, right?
00:08:30
Speaker
And a dark shape roars as it crashes into one of the men, knocking him to the ground, like they're running, right? And it just crashes into one of them from behind. It just takes them out, yeah. And they all kind of scream as we hear screaming coming from that dude, obviously, and flesh tearing and bone crunching and stuff. And one of them yells, Hans! And they just keep running, right?
00:08:52
Speaker
And they're screaming in German so it's all the subtitles underneath just like move go run and stuff, right? And one by one the others get taken out until a young man is left running panting and nearly sobbing when he hears the lights of the small wooden village and relief spreads across his face when he hears deep growling from right behind him and he spins and suddenly we're the monsters POV, right? Mm-hmm
00:09:15
Speaker
as he throws up his hands and stuff and screams as the camera lunges at him, right? And the scene changes to a busy airport. 2019 flashes across the screen. And an indie song is playing as the camera pans over the many bustling people with their bags and all that stuff, right? And the camera settles on a blonde girl
00:09:34
Speaker
And she's got long, like, blonde hair, the tips are dyed, a deep red, you know, like she's like, like baby spice kind of edgy. Yeah. And she's walking with like a dingy backpack and she's got a guitar case strung over her shoulder and she's staring down at her cell phone while she walks. And I was like, she's like full on not paying attention to anything else. In an airport? In an airport. I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, could she not be more anymore? Not like other girls, like, you know?
00:10:02
Speaker
And we see a wall of text from someone named Theo saying, please just answer me. Why don't you text me back? Please just talk to me. I already said I was sorry. Right. And her earbuds are playing the music when they fade out when she's like tapped on the shoulder. So she pulls out her earbuds.
00:10:17
Speaker
And she turns and we see a handsome young man. He's got darker blonde hair and glasses. And he's got a very expensive looking travel bag. He looks more like he's wearing like a sweater vest and everything. You know, like he looks a little more. He's a fancy boy. Yeah, he's a fancy boy. And he's a fancy boy.
00:10:35
Speaker
Oh, he's a fancy boy. And he's like, Lisa. And she gives him like a, like a, hey, Lexi, you know? And he's like, so they hug and he's like, I can't believe you made it. Aren't you supposed to be touring or something? And she says, yeah, but Oma would have wanted me to come, which is German for grandma. That's what Tony calls his grandma. Oh, that's cute. And he replies, well, you were always her favorite.
00:10:56
Speaker
Oh, so they're like cousins. They are brother and sister. Oh, okay. Yeah, but they're strange, right? So, right. Yeah. She goes to protests and 70 cuts are off and he's like, well, thanks for not leaving me to deal with Felix and Ashley all alone. And he does like, you know, like totally gag me.
00:11:14
Speaker
right? And Lisa's like, is she still doing that blog? And Alexi goes, adventures with Ashley going strong, like girlie and stuff, right? And Lisa chuckles like rolling her eyes and stuff and she nudges them and she's like, I'm surprised you came. Isn't work like really busy? And she kind of reminds me about like Kristen Stewart, how Kristen Stewart kind of acts.
00:11:35
Speaker
Okay. Um, but like she's trying to hide an accent. So like I think she's Australian. Oh, but like is definitely trying to sound American and oh shit. Thank you. Good catch. Um, and so I don't know, like there was a couple of times where like a word would slip where it kind of has a slight
00:11:52
Speaker
But anyway, not that it matters. And he's like, oh, it's insanely busy. But it's easy enough for me to get time off if you kiss up to the boss enough. And as he's saying this, his gaze travels to a tall muscular man walking past him and stuff. And Lisa's like, you're such a slut.
Family Tensions and Supernatural Elements
00:12:13
Speaker
And he was like, I can't help it. If God didn't want me to be gay, he shouldn't have made guys so hot.
00:12:17
Speaker
And I was like, I mean, yeah. So, and the two, they get outside and they flag down a taxi together as the camera pans up. It's like they're getting into the taxi and the camera pans up and it just kind of starts like fades to soaring over some mountains and it's showing like these cute little villages and stuff. Like, and this goes on for a good minute while it's doing the credits and stuff. And it's playing another cool indie song. Like it's honestly the soundtrack in this movie is kind of, kind of bussing.
00:12:44
Speaker
No, Alyssa. What? You know, like the word bussing? It's not coming out of your mouth. Not out of my mouth? Because I'm three-two and only? Yes, because you're old. Okay, bussing. No. It's on fleek. It really slaps. It slaps. It slates. They're getting to stop watching TikToks because I just only watch TikToks, so it's fine.
00:13:12
Speaker
So we get, as the camera pans on and stuff, right? We get to see this old stone castle, very German kind of castle, just like kind of built into a hillside and stuff. As the camera pans down, we see the taxi going up the really long gravel driveway to get to the house, right?
00:13:28
Speaker
And yeah, there's like a dope ass indie song is what I said. They look over to see another car parked and a tall kind of, he's got the same kind of hair color as Alexi is pulling a bunch of bags out of this SUV that they have, right? And he's very well dressed and he's fairly built. He looks like he could possibly have been a football player, right? He's the oldest brother and he's, you know, the big brother.
00:13:57
Speaker
And a red-headed woman, she's like perfectly curled hair and stuff. She's wearing a completely white tennis outfit. She's standing next to him taking selfies on her phone and getting annoyed when she's calling her husband over, over and over again. She's like, Felix.
00:14:12
Speaker
Felix, Felix, Felix, Felix says he's getting the bags out and he's just like, oh my gosh, kind of a look, right? So he finally like, he's got his arms full of these bags and stuff. So he goes over to her and he just kind of like leans in for a quick smile and she takes a selfie and then he's like,
00:14:28
Speaker
And he's obviously tired of the selfies and stuff. He's an Instagram husband. Yeah. And she's got it with the picture of the castle in the background and stuff. And she's just over there. She's just immediately typing away on her phone and stuff. And he keeps pulling more bags out of the trunk. But we hear her chattering about how her followers are just going to love this castle. And his old bat of a grandmother better have left it to him in her will. He's the oldest after all.
00:14:55
Speaker
Oh, right. And the siblings taxi comes to stop and Alexi insists on paying, right, as he pulls out his like platinum credit card. And Lisa had been like pulling out some crumbled ones and stuff, like crumbled cash and stuff, right. And so she thinks him and like stuffs it back into her wallet and they get out of the car, right. And it pulls away. The red-headed gushing excitedly, she hurries over to them and she's just like, Alexi, Lisa, right.
00:15:21
Speaker
And she runs up and she pulls Alexi into some hugs and she just says, muah, muah. And he's all like, muah, muah. Like he's kind of being sarcastic back kind of a thing. And she then turns to Lisa and she's like, oh, hello, Lisa. And she's like looking her up and down and said, you know, she's got like the torn jeans and everything, you know, the grungy shirt, you know.
00:15:43
Speaker
And I'm not entirely sure if it's like I'm grunge because I'm rock or I'm grunge because I'm poor. So maybe a bit of both. Maybe a bit of both, right? And she compliments her new hair color and says that she sees that Lisa hasn't given up on her wild dreams yet. And Lisa gives her a tight hello and they kind of hug and stuff. And Ashley turns and hurries back over to Felix, their brother, who greets them with, you know, just like, hey, you know, and he and Alexi do like the kind of man, like,
00:16:11
Speaker
I can appreciate that, you know. As they reach him, another couple steps out of the castle doors and they make their way over to him and we meet Robin, their sour-faced mother, and Frederick, their quiet, pudge belly, it says budge, auto-correct, pudge belly father, who wears like really thick glasses and stuff, right? And he's just kind of like,
00:16:32
Speaker
beaten down looking like he's he's he's he looks like a mouse kind of a thing like he's just very you know robin's very loud and he's very not yeah so ashley hurries right up and she and robin do the cheek kiss thingy but they are like enthusiastic about it and stuff and and um robin's just gushing over ashley's outfit and frederick steps forward to greet his children pulling them all into quick hugs and he oh they tell him sorry about grandma
00:17:00
Speaker
which he seemed clearly upset about. He's just kind of, well, you know, it's because it's his mom that passed, right? And Robin quickly interjects, so she's like, never mind all of that. Dinner will be ready soon. Let's get you all inside. Never mind the death of your mother husband. Get out of here with that crap, right? Also, how did we go from
00:17:20
Speaker
Felix and Alexi to Lisa. It's still German, I guess. Like I looked it up. It's still German. Lisa? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. I know. We've got Frederick Felix and Alexi. Can we do like Ingrid or like, I guess that's more like Nordic, but still. Yeah. I don't know.
00:17:39
Speaker
Okay, so Robin hurries inside and we follow Lisa's perspective. She kind of, you know, she walks in while the rest of the family is going in and the camera is panning around this massive entryway and this set of stairs that goes up splits off into two directions and Robin tells them that their rooms are on the second floor to the right and she and Frederick are staying in one of the master suites to the left, right?
00:18:01
Speaker
And Lisa begins wandering the rooms. The camera's just kind of panning around as we hear Robin's voice fading into the background and she's just chatting with Ashley. And it's playing kind of like nice piano music and stuff and she's walking around and she's looking. There's paintings all over and there's like vases and little statuettes and everything. Like this is a fancy house and stuff, right?
00:18:24
Speaker
Uh, Lisa finally makes her- this goes on for like a good like minute and a half. Like it's- it's forever long. It's just kind of emphasizing. I really think that they were like, oh hey, we rented this really nice castle for this movie. We need to get our money's worth of this, yeah. So yeah. And Lisa makes her way around to a nice sitting room full of old oil paintings.
00:18:43
Speaker
Let's see. There's a mural above a fireplace. There's decorative plates and shit above the fireplace. We see a massive portrait of an older woman. She's got dark hair but thick strands of gray and it's pulled into a long braid over her shoulder. The camera lingers on a silver pendant that she wears.
00:19:05
Speaker
with vague runes carved around the circle with a black stone with whitish brown lines running through it. I had to go look those up. They're called black moon stones. So okay yeah I was I googled that and they were like it's a black moon stone and I was like okay cool. So Lisa's
00:19:20
Speaker
stairs the painting for a few moments and a memory plays like flash as we go back to her running around as a child and running up there like she's running around with her siblings and stuff but she runs up to her grandmother the grandmother smiling down at her and holding up her necklace to her and stuff right and they both begin to sing what sounds like a nursery rhyme in German but like so grandmother singing it like fluently and everything and Lisa is just like da da da da da da and her grandma's like da da da da
00:19:51
Speaker
Suddenly, she's startled by someone grabbing her shoulder, and she turns around. And it's a handsome young man standing there, and he's giving her a charming smile. And in a light German accent, he asks if she's the granddaughter. And she says that she is, and that her name's Lisa, and he says that he's Reiner. And he is her late grandmother's gardener. And she says that she didn't realize that her grandmother had the gardener since the last time she talked to her. And he was hired very recently due to her failing health.
00:20:18
Speaker
And he looks like he wants to say more, but Robin steps in then. And she's like, there you are. And she's like, stop talking to the help. You need to get ready for dinner. And Lisa is like, mom, oh my gosh, sorry. And he's just like, no big deal and everything. She's like, I'll talk to you later. And he's like, yeah, nice to meet you and everything. So she leaves and he looks up at the painting and he just kind of gives like this knowing smile. And then we flash back to the family sitting in the dining room. Ashley's changed now and she's in this cute little
00:20:48
Speaker
Sorry, I don't know my chair's wobbling really bad And what was she wearing? Just like it wasn't a tennis outfit, but it was just kind of like shorty short like just Anyway, kind of a similar tennis outfit, but not a tennis. I don't know. I don't know how to describe it
00:21:03
Speaker
Anyway, but like the whole family looks like they changed except for Lisa.
Family Secrets and Supernatural Crisis
00:21:08
Speaker
She's, you know, still in her jeans and a t-shirt and everything. She doesn't care. Let's see. And they're awkwardly kind of making small talk when Alexi starts gushing about how his company has been booming lately and he's really lucky to have gotten time off to come here, right? And Felix starts talking about his law or the law practice he works for and how he just landed this really big murder case and he gets to be the lead
00:21:28
Speaker
lawyer on it, right? But Ashley cuts him off and starts boasting about her travel blog and how she and Felix have been to four different countries in the last five months and how her follower count has exploded, right? And Lisa gives a mocking scoff and Ashley's like, well, how many country fairs has your little band played for, right?
00:21:49
Speaker
And Lisa rolls her eyes and says that her band is getting actual gigs and a record label is thinking of signing them. And Ashley flips her hair over her shoulder and ignores it and she's like, well, I've been getting multiple sponsors a week contacting me, right? And Lisa goes, yeah, I saw one of them. It was for a tee that gives this basically laxatives, right? And Ashley gives her a dirty look before she's like, it's a specialized weight loss detox tee.
00:22:14
Speaker
And Robin stepping in, it was like, oh, I need to buy that for Frederick, huh, honey? Like Frederick just kind of gives like a mmm goes back to eating and stuff, right? And Robin's annoyed and she's just like, you know what, honey? Your mother was old and she wasn't even going to last another year. And isn't it better that she died in her sleep here in the house that she loves instead of the nursing home I wanted to put her in?
00:22:40
Speaker
Oh my god. So Lisa gets upset and tells her mother that she can't treat people like that, right? And I don't know if she was meaning like, you can't treat grandma like that or you can't treat dad like that. I don't know all of the above. She's like, you can't treat people like that, right? And Ashley laughs a little and she was just like, she was just some old lady that no one in the family even really talked to.
00:23:00
Speaker
Right. So Lisa gets upset and she throws her napkin on the table and she says that she's going to bed. Right. And she storms out of the room and Felix starts quietly chewing Ashley out for talking to his sister like that. And she gets a little hysterical about how she's just speaking her truth. Oh God. Right. And upstairs, Lisa gets to her room and gets changed. And we give us the obligatory panty shot before she flops onto her bed and she pulls out her phone and she's flipping through a few photos of herself where her hair is tipped purple instead of red.
00:23:31
Speaker
And a handsome young man is like, he's got his arms around her and stuff. They're taking cute little selfies together where he's kissing her cheek and everything and just, you know. And she pulls up a thread with Theo again, the text thread. And he goes, come on, Lisa. She didn't mean anything to me. She's just a groupie. You know how being a famous rock star is. And she rolls her eyes like full on, just like, ugh. You know, shuts off her phone and she just snuggles into her bed as the screen goes dark.
00:23:57
Speaker
Then the next morning the family is sitting in an old stone chapel And there's a bunch of older people dressed in black shawls like black and shawls They got like the full face coverage and everything you know a lot of people are in like old Germanic like a tire like this like this like this morning. Yeah warning where yeah, and they seem quite upset as they're passing by the casket and
00:24:21
Speaker
Lisa, Alexi, and Felix all decide to approach at the same time and Alexi's wondering who all these people are because, you know, I don't know who all these people are, right? And Felix insists that they're just here trying to get some of their grandmother's fortune and they get to the casket to see their late grandmother laying there in an old-fashioned dress and she's got her knobbly fingers. All of them are wearing a different silver ring and stuff like she's like decked out and everything, right? And all of the
00:24:46
Speaker
rings have the same like runic symbols on them that the that her painting had and the siblings talk for a moment about how sad uh how it's sad she's gone but now she won't call them every month to tell them to watch out for the darkness oh and felix goes ooh and alexi and him laugh and lisa's just like guys come on like we were yeah but ashley's in the background the whole time like taking photos of herself and like taking photos of her in the chapel and stuff and then she keeps going like felix
00:25:16
Speaker
Felix! Like she's trying to be quiet but not. You're in a funeral. Yeah so she and then she's like typing away and everything and Felix is just like oh my gosh and stuff right. So Alexi and Felix step away to go sit down and Lisa's phone dings and she looks down and she sees another text message from Theo telling her that she needs to answer him and he's tired of her crappy attitude.
00:25:39
Speaker
So Lisa shoves her phone back into her leather jacket because she's still wearing it over her dress. Of course. And she reaches her hand forward and gently places it over her grandmother's hand as a tear like runs down her cheek. Because she's obviously, she and her dad are the only ones that care that her grandmother died. Yeah, apparently. And she tells her goodbye when suddenly a vision bursts into her mind and we zoom into her fucking eye. Like it's that's so raven, right? Yeah.
00:26:05
Speaker
And we get flashes of a full moon as howls are in the distance and a book with drawings and dramatic words and a room with a massive circular window and flashes of her grandmother's face before we see her like cutting her hand with a small silver knife and stuff, right? And she just kind of like flashes back when Robin, the mom, is shaking her shoulder. And it's just like, Lisa, come on, Lisa, what are you doing? Like, get over here, right? And she said, don't touch her. That's inappropriate. Just leave the hag in peace.
00:26:35
Speaker
Leave the hag! Oh my god. And Lisa is like a little shook before she realizes what her mom says and she's just like, you know, just because you didn't like grandma doesn't mean I couldn't like grandma and she like storms away to go sit down. Yeah. Right? And Robin scowls after her and she scowls down at the grandma before going over and sitting down. Right? As the funeral begins. And as the family all sit together, a priest steps up to the lectern and he begins speaking in German.
00:27:00
Speaker
motioning to the casket. We don't get subtitles for this because we're supposed to be feeling what the family's feeling, right? And there's a bunch of people that are like silently crying. You keep seeing people like, you know, rubbing at their eyes and stuff. And Frederick is actually pretty upset. Like he's sobbing into his mom. It's his mom, right? And Robin's rubbing his back as she's just kind of like...
00:27:24
Speaker
you know, like she's trying to be a supportive wife, but she's obviously not supporting. And Alexi is sitting there, he's just kind of like looking around the room and stuff. And he looks over and he sees this young blonde man and they kind of like catch each other's eye and they're just kind of like, you know, hey, you know, this is funeral and stuff.
00:27:41
Speaker
This is the perfect place to pick up people. People, right? So they're just kind of eye-fucking each other for a second and stuff, right? And Ashley complains in a not so hushed voice that they shouldn't be speaking German. Why can't they just say this all in English, right? Oh my god. And Lisa's like, they're in Germany. And she's like, still though, you think they would accommodate the family, right? They're not being very progressive right now and stuff. Like she's... Oh god.
00:28:05
Speaker
Lisa then tries her best to translate for them. She says it's been a few years since she's like spoken German and stuff. But she says that he's saying something along the lines about their grandmother's absence as a devastation to the village. That she was not just a matriarch, she was a leader, a guiding light for many.
00:28:23
Speaker
Her stern demeanor was a testament to her unwavering commitment to the values she held dear. And then the priest turns and looks right at Lisa and says, and now we get subtitles, right? That someone else will pick up her torch. It is her destiny. And Lisa just kind of like, okay, right? And I mean, a couple of people kept like looking at her and start like through the whole thing. They were just like, they'd see her and be like,
00:28:50
Speaker
and then walk away and she, you know, okay. So later the family's gathering up to read the will, but Alexi is nowhere to be seen, right? And we flash to him and the blonde man from before, like making out in the bathroom, like their lives depend on it, okay?
Werewolf Encounters and Family Bonds
00:29:05
Speaker
Lisa has to walk in and stop them, right? Saying that it's time for the will reading and they can continue this later. And Alexi introduces this man as Rollin, and Lisa gives him a tight smile and says hello, and he's just like, hello, you know. And Alexi tells the blonde guy that he'll catch up with him later.
00:29:20
Speaker
and he can find him at his grandmother's house if he knows the one. And Rollin replies a little darkly that everyone knows that house. And Lisa's like, the fuck? But Alexi's like, it's gone, it's gone. So he rushes him out. So Alexi and Lisa stepped into this really nicely furnished room with an older man sitting behind a desk. He pulls out a small box and a very large folded envelope and he starts off in a thick accent telling them that he's Mr. Mueller. And I had to put the subtitles on for him because he was pretty thick accent for him.
00:29:49
Speaker
I can understand German accents pretty well, but he was old and the audio quality in this part was not very good. So, Mr. Mueller, he's our grandmother's lawyer. He opens up the letter and he begins to read off, like, dear family, now that I have passed, it is time to name the successor.
00:30:08
Speaker
uh name my successor sorry my notes wrong there uh to my son and grandsons i leave you each 10 000 euros to my granddaughter i name you worthy of my remaining fortune uh my home and my position in my community immediately the family gets into an uproar both robin felix and ashley um losing their shit yelling about how could lisa get everything right
00:30:30
Speaker
And Lisa is absolutely shocked. Her father is quite stunned too because he's like, he didn't get anything. Yeah. He got 10,000 euros. That's it. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, which is still a lot of, I wonder like, what is the rest? Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. Is that, why is that meager? Yeah, exactly. And Alexei looks a little put off as well, but he doesn't see anything. He's like,
00:30:51
Speaker
Okay, like, you know, he's just a little upset, but Robin is losing her shit. And Felix immediately starts yelling saying that he's a lawyer himself and he's going to contest the will. And Lisa starts saying that she doesn't want all of this when Mr. Mueller looks her the same way that the priest did and says it is her destiny before pushing the box towards her, right?
00:31:11
Speaker
and she nervously opens it while Felix and Robin continue arguing Mr. Mueller and Ashley Wales in the background about how she wanted the house to be the summer house and it's not fair and both Alexi and Lisa look into the box and Lisa is shocked to find the book from her vision from just a few minutes ago and her grandmother's moonstone necklace of rain.
00:31:34
Speaker
Finally though, it seems that Mr. Mueller is not going to budge on the will and the rest of the family just storms out of the room. Their father just kind of following behind just like, I understand why they would be upset. But if I got $10,000, I think I'd be content.
00:31:51
Speaker
Actually, I'm pretty sure the exchange rate is like, I'm pretty sure the US dollar is more than the Euro. So it'd be a little less than 10,000, but like, I don't care. It's still 10,000 euros. I'd be pretty content, not gonna lie. The rest of the family storm is out of the room. Lisa flips through the book, but it's written in German, except for the very first page. And in pretty script, it says, my little hunter, protect your people.
00:32:17
Speaker
Oh, Mr. Mueller gives Lisa a very serious look and tells her that he hopes that she will live up to her grandmother's expectations. Right. What are they? Right. So later on at the house, the camera's panning around, taking in the beauty of the castle and the mountains, and again, a dope ass indie music's playing, right? Lesson.
00:32:33
Speaker
But inside the air is tense as the family is holding a small wake and many of the townspeople wander through the house. All of them speaking German. A few of them are talking actively to the family and stuff. And Ashley's just like, I don't know what you're saying to me. Oh my gosh and stuff, right? And Felix is catching a word or two. Alexei is nowhere to be seen. Presumed. Maybe he's off with the guy. I don't know. We don't see what he's doing. It's just 100%.
00:32:59
Speaker
But Robin is following the people around the house as people are like picking at the trays of food that they left out and stuff. But she's following people around the house, getting them to not touch things and stuff, right? Like they'll go up to be like, oh, the paint inside. She's like, don't touch that. Don't touch that. And Lisa is in a separate room and she's sitting in a chair looking through the book with a bunch of weird stick figure drawings and the Germanic script.
00:33:24
Speaker
And she pulls out her phone and she starts googling the words and she discovers eventually that it's a step-by-step guide to keeping werewolves from the area. Okay. Yeah. And she scoffs a little wondering what this could possibly be for when she's startled by Reiner, right? The gardener. And he apologizes saying he does that a lot, doesn't he? And she agrees. And she's like, yeah, tucking her hair and stuff, right?
00:33:48
Speaker
And they chat for a second, him apologizing that she had to be, you know, come here for her grandma's funeral and stuff. And she's like, that's all right, you know. And he's like, what's that in your hand? She's like, it's something my grandmother left me. And do you know what this says and stuff? So he starts flipping through it.
00:34:04
Speaker
And he's like, it looks like a bunch of old superstitions. It's all just hocus pocus, right? She hands the book back and she was like, I don't know, everybody seems like, my grandma seems pretty intent on it. And he was like, yeah, all of the old people are in this town. Like, it's, you know, and so far it's like only old people. Like, so.
00:34:23
Speaker
Pretty sure there's not a lot of youngsters. But he goes, but hey, it is a full moon tonight. Maybe you'll hear a few werewolves and stuff, right? And she giggles and they chat for a bit longer. And he says that he saw her come in with a guitar and she tells him that she's in a band in the States. And he's like, oh, that's really impressive. Like you should play for me sometimes. She's like, I'd love to play for you maybe tonight. And he's like, I have something to do with my family tonight, but I'd be happy to tomorrow. Alyssa! What? Alyssa.
00:34:53
Speaker
I mean, I already knew, but like, Alyssa. What? You and your werewolves. I can't help it. I like werewolves. Let's see. She agrees and tells him that it's a date, and he smirks and leans in and gives her like a little like peck on the lips before walking away. Cool. And she's like, wow, you know, like German boys.
Climax and Supernatural Battle
00:35:14
Speaker
Is that okay? Right.
00:35:16
Speaker
So that night the family are all sitting around the dining room table again eating dinner quietly and there's this like, I forgot to mention before, but there's this huge fireplace on the one side and then there's this big like floor to ceiling windows behind them and so it's just this huge table. It's like a very large castle.
00:35:33
Speaker
And we see the full moon just starting to crest over the mountains behind Robin, who's sitting at the head of the table, not, you know, and like they're silent for a good minute while they're all just eating and stuff. And Ashley suddenly just starts in about how it's not fair that Lisa got all the money and the house and Robin begins to agree. And Alexi is like, guys, listen, I was expecting and hoping to get a lot more money too, but
00:35:58
Speaker
Lisa was the only one that actually really talked to grandma, okay? Like, she's the only one. And Felix starts in with, grandma's only played with her. Like, she, grandma gave her all the attention growing up, you know? Like, never, she didn't care about you and me, Alexi. And, um, Frederick was, or, Frederick, Frederick is like, guys, everybody, you know, like, let's not talk ill of my mom.
00:36:18
Speaker
And Robin is just like, oh, shut up and stuff, right? And they all just start arguing together. So they all, yeah, they start to bicker and yell at one another when they hear glass shattering in another room, right? And Robin in noise tells Frederick and Felix to go take a look and make sure nothing is broken in her house.
00:36:35
Speaker
And I was like, bitch, you just heard something break though. Something is broken. Something is broken, regardless of what it could be. It is. Just saying, yeah. They both get up annoyed that they have to go do this and stuff. When Lisa tells her mother that it's not her house, it's my house. She's finally like, no, this is my house. I'm gonna do it.
00:36:58
Speaker
I'm gonna, you know, all that stuff. And her mother begins to chew her out again, just starts, listen here, you ungrateful little brat. And when they hear Frederick and Felix shout, they're just like, what the fuck in the other room, right? So Lisa, Alexi, and Robyn all get up and run out of the room and Ashley goes, I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay here and eat my food.
00:37:18
Speaker
Right? Okay, bitch. Right? Okay, bye. And this is all going on at the same time. It keeps doing flashbacks and forth, so I'm just gonna talk about what happens to Ashley, and then I'll talk about what happens to the family. Okay. Because the families was very short, and honestly, I don't know how the time frame matched up with what happened with Ashley, but... Okay. It's fine. So, let's see. The others leave the room while Ashley pulls out her phone and begins filming herself, telling her followers that they... She's like, guys, I have a really crappy situation going on right now.
00:37:46
Speaker
And I just I'm really devastated about it and she says that how she and her husband came out to Germany to visit or to you know be here for his grandmother's funeral and stuff and how she and Felix were so close to his late grandmother and that they visited all the time not that she has videos or anything of them visiting her and stuff right but that
00:38:10
Speaker
you know, and that Felix is the oldest and that he was promised everything. But Felix's loser little sister hated that and so she conned the grandmother into changing her will before she died because she's jealous of Ashley and Felix and now she needs to be canceled, right? Okay. And a wolf cries in the distance and she's just kind of like,
00:38:30
Speaker
ruined my video, right? She looks back at her camera and so we're seeing like her looking at her camera and it's her own like reflection back at the camera, right? And you see something dark like blur past her really fast, right? And she's like, what the hell? Like, okay, whatever and stuff. And so she goes back and she realizes that that completely ruined the video, right? So she starts and she restarts saying the exact same thing that she just did. But now she's like,
00:38:58
Speaker
Guys, I have this like really bad situation going on. And I, you know, like she just starts like, yeah, and we see another flash of movement behind her. She starts to freak out this time. So she stands up and she starts moving backwards from where she thought she saw the movement going from. She backs right up into a solid mass of dark gray fur and she turns around and again, it's the camera angle. She screams at the camera lunges at her, right?
00:39:24
Speaker
In the other room, the family hurry in to find that Felix and Frederick are looking out of a tall glass door, like just like full glass, you know, and the bottom is shattered. It looks like something like went through it, but you know. And Robin demands to know what's going on when Frederick swears that he saw something run past outside and it was huge, right?
00:39:46
Speaker
And Robin begins chewing him out saying that with the door like this, a wild animal could get inside. And why is he so useless? He can't just fix a door on his own. That's when they hear Ashley scream in the other room, right? So they all go running back in. Felix is like, Ashley. And he bolts into the other room. And that's where we find Ashley's mangled body, right? Unfortunately.
00:40:07
Speaker
Unfortunately. So Felix drops to the ground and starts like trying to see if he can resuscitate her but like there's nothing and Robin and Lisa are like oh my oh no like fucking shit you know and and Alexi pulls out his cell phone and she's like I'm gonna call the police and he like dials what number in Germany what do you know the police phone number in Germany cuz I don't I know it in the UK yeah I don't know if it's the same it's 999 oh nice okay yeah but like yeah I don't know what it is in Germany right no I
00:40:36
Speaker
so he literally goes it rings once and he goes they're not answering oh my god and hangs up his phone what other movie was that it was um the third guest yeah there must be the same i'm gonna look it up uh so felix demands to know who did this belisa says it couldn't have been any of them
00:40:58
Speaker
And they hear another crash in a different room and Felix roars with righteous anger as he runs out of the room and his family chases after him. Lisa grabbing a fire poker from the fireplace before she runs out, right? Mm-hmm. And in Germany, they don't really have a 911 number. Oh. You can call 112 or 110 and they can help you get emergency services. Yeah.
00:41:24
Speaker
Let's see. Um, so the family all chases after him, right? And he makes his way into a sitting room, a different sitting room. It might be the same sitting room. I didn't see if the painting was there. I don't know which one it was. There's a big place. It's a big place. And all of these rooms have like multiple doors to get into everywhere, you know? Like it's, it's really weird. Like they've got the one door from the, from the foyer to come in here and there, but then you can also go, I guess, I don't know if it's like a servant door to go out that way or something. I don't know.
00:41:50
Speaker
Gotcha. But I have no idea. There's a lot of doors. So Felix is just spinning around and he looks down and he sees there's a potted plant smashed on the floor. And he's like, who's there? And Lisa's trying to get him to calm down and their mother's yelling about how this is ridiculous. And it's clearly the crazed village people trying to kill them so that they can get the house and all of the stuff inside. Unfortunately.
00:42:13
Speaker
when suddenly Alexi cries out in pain and they all turn to see this massive CGI werewolf biting down on his shoulder. It's not very good. Oh no. As he's just like, like just, you know.
00:42:28
Speaker
And the family screams, and Lisa takes the fire poker, and she smashes it down. It's a brown werewolf, right? OK. And so there's a couple of different colors. There's gray and brown, and so I was like, oh, there's a brown werewolf, right? So she smashes it over the werewolf's head, and he lets Alexei go, and Felix grabs him, and they all bolt out of the room, right? And they run out of this room, and they hurry into a study. There was a lot more books and bookshelves in this one, I think. OK.
00:42:55
Speaker
So Robin and Lisa begin frantically trying to care for Alexi because he's like gushing blood and stuff. And Friedrich and Felix do their best to bar the door. And Alexi begins screaming, what the fuck is that thing, right? And Lisa shakily explains that she thinks it's a werewolf, right? And the family is just like, that's such bullshit. And she's like, guys, what is Grandma always going on about? And they all just kind of like.
00:43:17
Speaker
Also, explain it otherwise. Right? Exactly. Well, what else would it be? It's very cool to be a werewolf. It's not just a wolf on, like, all fours. It's like, I'm a werewolf. I'm bipedal. Like, just a bitch. Anyway, so the family's like, eventually they're just like, I mean, she did tell us all those stories when we were kids and stuff. And Friedrich's like, she grew up, I grew up with her telling me stories too. Oh, stories about werewolves hiding in the woods, helping to steal children from the townspeople and stuff, right?
00:43:46
Speaker
And Felix demands to know what they're going to do about all of this when Lisa remembers her book and she yanks it out of her jacket pocket. She begins flipping through it. She's using her phone to like translate and stuff, right?
00:43:58
Speaker
And they hear banging on the door and she just kinda like screams and stuff, right? And the mom runs over to the window and she starts desperately trying to get it open. And she's like screaming at least in a hurry up, right? Just like, hurry the fuck up Lisa and everything. And Frederick finally loses it and he begins yelling at her telling her, you're like, don't you talk to our daughter like that, right? Like I'm good. She smacks him across the face and she demands to know who he thinks he's speaking to.
00:44:26
Speaker
And it's just kind of going off for a second when a pair of yellow eyes flash behind her in the window from behind, right? And Frederick cries out as the beast smashes through the window and dives on top of Robin and blood splatters across Frederick's face. But it looks like they took a cup of blood and just went like...
00:44:45
Speaker
And it's just like bleh all over him, right? The family screams and they bolt out of a different door. Okay. Instead of, I don't know, bolting out that door in the first place or trying to bar that one too. I don't know. Okay. I wasn't there. Don't think too much. I don't know. And they hurry through another room, narrowly rushing past another werewolf as it like rounds the corner and stuff, right? Okay. And so...
00:45:10
Speaker
I don't know if it was the same brown werewolf that was trying to get through the door that went a different way. I don't know. I'm not sure. The family runs up the massive staircase while they hear howls and cries of the werewolves in the background, right? And the family make it to another room upstairs only to realize that they're in their grandmother's bedroom, okay? And they lock the door and Felix and Frederick move a dresser in front of
Plot Twist and Conclusion
00:45:32
Speaker
it. This dresser's like covered in like, oh, silver makeup powder and like, you know, like old antique looking
00:45:39
Speaker
Just everything bottles and stuff, right? So they managed to get that in front of the door. And Lisa helps Alexi to the bed and she pulls out the book again and she barely manages to translate a page claiming to be a ritual and a spell cast to protect the, and she's telling everyone that it's going to cast a protective barrier over the home and kill any werewolves in the barrier, right?
00:45:59
Speaker
And they're like, okay, do it. And she's like, I don't, I'm still trying to figure this out and stuff, right? But as she's like doing this, she's trying to read over it, that she needs to cut her hand, smear her blood over the moonstone, the necklace, and recite the chant. And she's desperately trying to make out the German, but she's just like, da, se, da, like just, you know, she's panicked. She hasn't like read German in a long time, I guess. I guess like, it's easier to speak something than to read something, you know? So like, anyway.
00:46:30
Speaker
When there's more banging on the door and the Felix and the dad are trying to keep like the dresser over it and stuff, right? And suddenly a massive brown claw just like breaks through the door and starts like slashing through the air trying to like grab at him and stuff. When Felix looks down and he notices that there's a sheath dagger on the dresser. So he grabs it and he pulls it open. You see it just flashes silver and he just slashes down over the werewolf's arm. The werewolf howls and yanks his arm back through, okay?
00:46:59
Speaker
then it seems to sound like it runs away. They're not entirely sure. I'm not entirely sure. But it's not there when another dark gray werewolf puts his eye up to the door and is looking around and stuff. And Felix, Felix gives a primal cry of desperation as he stabs through the hole, right? He's very like, ah! He stabs it, right? And the werewolf howls in pain and stuff too, but we hear it slumped to the ground and stuff, right?
00:47:26
Speaker
And reluctantly, the family decides to move the dresser and get out of this room. I don't know. I thought they were safe enough, but whatever. So they get out into the hallway and they see the gray werewolf just laying there with the dagger like shoved in his, obviously it went to his brain.
00:47:42
Speaker
Um, and so Felix yanks the dagger free and the family starts hurrying down the hallway again and they run into a brown werewolf. I don't know how many werewolves there are. Okay. He runs into a brown werewolf. Okay. And Felix cries out as he charges and he like football tackles this werewolf into the wall and like, kind of like, it was
00:48:01
Speaker
a little bit of an alcove, there was like a little table there with a plant and so he like charges them into the into that little alcove and um starts trying to like stab at the werewolf but the werewolf's like kind of clawing at him and he's just yelling for the family to go go and so they bolt off and in a in another room uh Friedrich does his best to block the door while Lisa begins desperately trying to perform the ritual when so why did you leave i don't know okay sorry so you're
00:48:26
Speaker
So they begin, um, she starts like trying to perform the ritual when Reiner calls out to them knocking on the door. And they're like, what the fuck? And he's like, are you guys okay? Oh my gosh, let me in. So they let him in and he's bleeding. Sure he is. And he asked them if they're okay. And Lisa's like, what are you doing here, right? Like, what's going on? So he's obviously bleeding from his arm and stuff, right?
00:48:49
Speaker
And he tells them that he heard their screams from outside and stuff. And he came inside to help them when he was attacked by a werewolf and he barely fought the beast off. And Lisa demands to know where her brother is and he says he's not sure. He didn't see him. And Alexi's like, how did you not? There was a single hallway here, like, you know. You would have asked him. And Frederick's like, we don't have time and stuff, right? And Lisa's like, fine, you can hide with us. And he's like, what are you doing? And she's like, we're going to try this weird ritual to stop werewolves. And he's like, are you serious right now?
00:49:19
Speaker
He's like, there's no ritual to stop whatever the fuck these things are. You just have to fight and kill them. What do you mean? And she's like, we have to try and that this must be what her grandmother wanted her to do. And she begins reading from her book and her germ is a little broken and stilted, but she's quickly like gaining, you know, confidence in what she's saying and stuff. And when we see Reiner just like,
00:49:40
Speaker
Like just getting mad. And so he grabs Lisa and turns her around, just kind of like shoves her down and she's like, what the fuck are you doing? Right. And he's like, give me the book. And she's like, oh my gosh, no. And so her dad tackles into him. Oh my gosh. Get him, dad. But Friedrich like hurls him across the room. Okay. And it starts transforming into the brown wearable and it's bad. It's like, it's like hunching and like,
00:50:09
Speaker
stuff right and they keep like showing little like patches of fur as Lisa and Alexia are just like oh like just terrified right and finally he turns into the CGI wolf and stuff right and he roars at them but he but their father charges at him again and
00:50:27
Speaker
and um is like grabbing onto his arms and he tells his children to run and stuff right and so they which they do they take off um and they're running up another set of stairs when they hear their father's agonized cries as they're just like oh and then keep going up the stairs right
00:50:44
Speaker
So they make it upstairs, this movie's actually a little short, I'm almost done. So they make it, I feel like we got right into it. It's pretty short. So they make it into the attic, which is decorated like some sort of ritual room with a massive circular window from Lisa's vision. And Lisa's just like, oh my gosh, it's a room from my vision. And she's like, this is where I have to perform the ritual. She's suddenly like, this is exactly where I need to be.
00:51:11
Speaker
And Alexei throws himself against the door. There's not much in this room to really stop, like to bar the door or whatever, not that it's exact. It's kind of been working in the other rooms, I guess. So like, yeah, but there's not much in this room to like help, right? So he's trying to keep the door shut with all of his strength. Well, Reiner slams against the door and his distorted voice is crying out Lisa's name and telling her to stop and he's going to kill her and how much of a bitch her grandmother was for keeping his family banished to the woods like monsters for centuries and stuff.
00:51:41
Speaker
I don't know if it was her grandmother that kept him in the woods for centuries or if it was just like the line of people. That's what I'm guessing is more like just that she was another of the, you know, she lived forever. Yeah, that she was there from 1492. Yeah.
00:51:56
Speaker
Let's see, Alexi just yells for Lisa to do it, stop these fuckers. And Lisa bathed in the full moonlight, begins chanting, and she's like, she's da da da da da, like just full German and stuff, right? And I wrote it down, but I don't care. So she finishes her chant just as the door slammed open by Reiner, right? And Alexi is thrown to the side, and Reiner charges at Lisa, but is stopped short as Felix suddenly attacks him from behind, gets him like, and it's just,
00:52:24
Speaker
Like stabbing him in the chest with the silver dagger and stuff, right? And Reiner cries out in pain as Lisa finishes the chant and then she pulls out the silver dagger. Oh, I'm sorry. She grabbed a silver dagger from the dresser in the grandmother's dress. I forgot to mention that, sorry. She grabbed, like as they were running out the door, she just like grabbed another one off the dresser. My bad guys, sorry.
00:52:47
Speaker
So she pulls out the little silver dagger and she runs it across her palm and just holds up the amulet, right? And a ripple bursts from the amulet, just like ripples through like just this boom, you know? And Reiner drops to the ground dead and we see the outside of the mansion just kind of boom and like echo out as well and stuff, right? Okay. And Reiner drops to the ground and his body shimmers for a second.
00:53:15
Speaker
and then turns into a man just like laying there and stuff, right? And Felix is standing there panting really hard and he's got like slash marks all over him and stuff. And Alexi and Lisa run over to him and they're like, Felix, oh my gosh. And so they all embrace his siblings and stuff, right? A short time later, the siblings limp their way through the house as they're passing the hallway and stuff. They do see their dead dad. Unfortunately, that's super sad. They pass through another hallway as they see a young blonde man.
00:53:44
Speaker
Oh, laying on the ground, dead, who'd been stabbed in the eye. And Alexi was like, what's the kind of, you know, it's like just, you know, and Felix rolls his eyes, but they all kind of look at each other and just start laughing. Like, just, you know, you know, and they continue on. And the group gets to the kitchen where Lisa starts grabbing towels and trying to clean them up.
00:54:05
Speaker
And Felix, oh, Alexi gets up to go get a drink of water while Felix is asking what they're supposed to do now, right? Their parents are dead, his wife is dead, and Lisa tells him that they'll figure it out as a family, right? I don't know why this was suddenly a bonding moment for them, but you know, the siblings
00:54:21
Speaker
Felix was like pulling his weight is all I'm saying, you know? So yeah, a little bit in Alexei's defense. He did get the shit bit out of him and stuff, right? But like, you know, Alexei starts complaining as he's like getting his glass of water that this is gonna leave the worst scar, right? Like, he's like, oh my gosh, right? As the clouds behind him in the window start to like slowly drift, revealing a little bit of the moonlight, okay?
00:54:45
Speaker
And it goes back to Felix and Lisa and Felix is apologizing for his outbursts earlier that day at the lawyer's office and that if he's being honest, Ashley was driving him crazy and he was thinking of divorcing her. And Lisa tells him that that probably would have been for the best. And she tells him that she was going to share the family money with him and Alexei anyway. Good.
00:55:04
Speaker
when they hear glass breaking and they look over to see Alexi hunched over and crying out in pain and only to turn just as the clouds move past the window, revealing the full moon. His face is half transformed, his fur is covered. Like it's not good, okay? Like he's wearing these horrible yellow contacts and they've like glued patches of fur just to his face and stuff. Like they tried. It's not like they just went,
00:55:34
Speaker
Like, but it was, it's like just a little bit of fur on his cheeks and his forehead. Okay. And he's got these really big plastic fangs, but like they're decent looking fangs, but it looks bad, right? As he turns to them and stuff and he throws back his head and howls as the screen turns black.
Revelation of April Fools' Prank
00:55:53
Speaker
Shouldn't he be dead? Because she... But he wasn't a werewolf yet. How long does it last? Do you have to do it every time? I don't know.
00:56:02
Speaker
But anyway, the end. No. Of the movie I wrote. Shut the fuck up. It's all fools. I wrote that. I've been writing that for a few months. What? What's happening? I wrote that.
00:56:22
Speaker
Thank you. Is it not horrible? I mean it is, but I was convinced. Thank you. I wanted to put it out for April Fool's. Wow. So, okay. So that's my movie. Literally. That's my movie. I mean we always said that you should write a movie. Alright, okay. Did I get you? Yeah.
00:56:55
Speaker
Thank you. Now you can yell at me for some of the stupid decisions I made. Why did you die? Because I had that ending before the rest of the movie was ready.
00:57:17
Speaker
Staring apart your own shit. And adding... Like this terrible fucking makeup.
00:57:31
Speaker
I wrote it as if I was like taking my notes for a boot. That's how I wrote it. You know, okay. The way you were wording things seemed a lot more like eloquent than normal. Like normally like fucking this shit and this bullshit.
00:57:50
Speaker
And then you were like, you just used like bigger, better words and stuff. I was trying to like make fun of the movie, but also like it was more like you were writing a story. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. But yeah. But I would also give this like a 1.0. Like that's no.
00:58:08
Speaker
No. In my head, honestly though, it seemed better than... Also, I was writing this for the last few months, completely forgot about it for the last month, okay? I finished it today. Wait, is this the thing that you've been wanting to do that you've been talking about? Yeah.
00:58:27
Speaker
forgot about that there's another way counting up the weeks until we could like record this and stuff oh yeah but I finished I wrote it like most of it today well so that's amazing thank you I was very productive at work today okay
00:58:49
Speaker
And of course it's a werewolf. Yeah, of course.
Reflection on the Prank and Story Development
00:58:52
Speaker
I know. I was like, well, I was thinking about, I actually, I jumped into a lot of research. A wolf singer is actually a person in Germany whose job it is to keep werewolves away from a village. So like that's, I would have gone more into the lore and stuff, but I was running out of time. So I was just like, fuck it. I don't care.
00:59:09
Speaker
So I was like, fuck it. If I were to ever rewrite this and actually put real effort into it, I would maybe do a lot more research and stuff and like obviously change up a few more things and add some scenes and stuff. But I was like, I wanted it to be crappy. So I didn't super care. And I was like, all I need is for the plot to be somewhat cohesive. Yeah. So.
00:59:26
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. I love it. Thank you. You're welcome. It's stupid, right? I mean, 100% could have been a movie. I was gonna win. I'm not bullshitting at all. I thought this was a movie. Like, yeah. Yay. I'm glad because that's what I was going for. Good job. So, what did you guys think of my movie? Yeah, please let us know. Bubba, if you're listening, Maddie, if you're listening,
00:59:53
Speaker
Everybody that's listening. Yeah, please let me know. Let us know. Yep. Cuz I'm not taking feedback cuz I'm not actually gonna finish that. No, we don't want your criticism. Yeah, no. Fuck that. No. Feel free to. I mean, just don't be like, hey, if you were to rewrite this cuz I'm not, I'm not gonna. I mean. So.
01:00:09
Speaker
We've talked about writing a movie. We can go to Germany, we can film a movie, knock out a few things at one time. I'm excited to re-listen to this, knowing what I know. That's amazing. I'm excited. Thank you. I was waiting months to say the end of the movie I wrote. I've been waiting months to say that.
01:00:34
Speaker
Thank you. I liked it. Thank you. Yes. Yeah, I definitely like looking back now. I spent a little bit of time trying to like add a little bit more and be cohesive today and stuff after I got home from work. But I was like, I don't know what else to add here exactly. Like if I had a couple more days to think about it, maybe, but I was like, yeah, yeah.
01:00:52
Speaker
Because when you said you wanted to do the movie, I was like, oh yeah, totally, that's awesome. And then I realized, I was like, oh crap. That's what it would have been. But then I was like, it's not that big of a deal. I can just prank you another time, right? Yeah. But when you were like, I didn't finish my notes, I was like, oh, I don't think it just got started typing frantically. I was like, oh yeah, I get this done and stuff. But I was like, that's why I sent you that video of I was like, I might have a movie. I don't know just yet. I'll see if I can finish my notes. And you were like, OK. So I was like,
01:01:19
Speaker
Yeah, but you got me. Thank you. Yeah, 100%. Your face was kind of great. You were like, what? Took me a second to be like, wait, what are we saying right now? And I was like, because I was telling a few of my coworkers that I was going to write this and they were like, what's it about? And so I was explaining to them it was going to be a flute for a hot minute too, because that's like an item that they use, wolf singers use a lot as a flute. And I was like, I don't know, that seems a little
01:01:47
Speaker
dumb like just a little a little hokey because i'm like what if you don't know how to play the flute like i can't like like into like a legit flute i can't make it make sense so i i learned how to play the flute and i can't play the flute so no no i liked the the moon
01:02:04
Speaker
aspects of it. Thank you, thank you. They use moonstones and rituals for shit like that. And I did change Lisa's name from Alice because Alice is a German name and so for most of it I had written as Alice but I was like, Alice and Alexia are too close. Oh yeah. And so I switched it to Lisa just because I was like,
01:02:23
Speaker
It's, you know, like a quick name change and stuff. And like, I can't remember if Lisa's German or not. I don't give a shit. Oh, but yeah, me convinced. I was like, okay. Yeah. I was like, I went through six different names when I was first writing her up because I was like, oh man, I could give her like a really dope German name. And then I was like, I don't want it to be too obvious that like I wrote it, you know? So like, yeah, literally never would have thought that I'm really.
01:02:47
Speaker
If you didn't end it that way, I would've been like, okay, where do I look up the poster for this movie? There's much worse out there, and we've reviewed it. We've reviewed it, yeah. I did believe it. 100%. Well, I'm glad. What would you have rated that?
01:03:07
Speaker
Honestly, it sounded like a, what did you say? It wasn't like a 2.8. I would have said like, well, I didn't watch it, obviously, but it sounds like a typical like 3.54-ish movie that we watched. I don't know. Yeah. Because in my head, I was like, I was trying so hard because I'm not a perfectionist, but I like making good things and stuff. And I kept like having to reel myself back in and be like, Alyssa, no, it's supposed to be a crappy movie. Like don't,
01:03:36
Speaker
You even bullshitted me about the quality of the filming, you bitch. What's it like?
01:03:50
Speaker
It's about the same as... Wow. Thank you. Wow. Yep. You little bullshit. I was honestly really proud of like that opening scene though, because in my head I was like, oh, this is gonna look dope as fuck. But like, it's not real, so yes. Yeah. But if it was. Yep. Yeah, so. Yep.
01:04:11
Speaker
Okay, well now I want to go listen to it, so I guess we should probably just let people go and enjoy it. Well, thanks everyone. Should we make it a movie? Yeah. The answer is yes. Please donate to help make... Ooh, go to our coffee page if you want to go buy some things from our sponsors. Right? Yeah.
01:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, support us if you want us to turn it into a movie. Does Liquid IV sell online? Do they sell just the strawberry banana or strawberry something or other? Because it was like the sample one that you gave me. Zach loved that one. Oh, really? Yeah. It was strawberry lemonade. Strawberry lemonade? Okay. He liked that one a lot. So I will have to go buy my own. Okay. So, yeah. Anyway. That was so fun. Thanks. Thank you. I'm excited. So, yeah, I've been waiting for forever to be like the end of the movie I wrote.
01:04:58
Speaker
But I was like, oh my gosh, okay, let's think of some crappy. And then I realized like, as I was getting close to the end, I was like, shit, this is going by like really fast. But then I was like, some of the movies I've seen have been a little shorter, you know? So like, yeah. And like, when the movies are like so bad, I feel like there's ones that you just like, you skip over so much stuff that it's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? I'm like, oh yeah, we spent two minutes of them running through a forest and everything, you know? So, yeah. That actually went on for a really long time. Yeah. So.
01:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing. Thank you. Anyway, thanks guys.
Closing and Listener Engagement
01:05:32
Speaker
We love you. Have a great time. Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode. Let us know what you think by commenting on Instagram and TikTok or emailing us at bmoviebashpodcast at gmail.com. You can listen to our episodes on all of your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and so many more. If you want to support the podcast, you can find our coffee donation link in the episode description or check out one of our awesome sponsors.
01:06:12
Speaker
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01:06:22
Speaker
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01:06:38
Speaker
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