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Christmas Wedding Planner | B-Movie Bash! | #JY S3E22
85 Plays1 year ago
"While planning her cousin's lavish wedding, Kelsey Wilson's world is turned upside down when Private Investigator Connor McClean shows up. Connor, hired by a unnamed source, disrupts the upcoming nuptials but manages to win Kelsey's heart."
This movie wasn't the most terrible, but it sure was cheesy and had a WILD unexpected ending. You'll definitely want to stick around to see what happens because we were not expecting it, that's for sure.
Sidenote - there's a bit of an echo on this recording, sorry about that. We're working on getting equipment and a space that sounds amazing, but it's a work in progress. That being said - support us using the links below! ;)
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Transcript
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Podcast Introduction and Christmas Jokes
00:01:33
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Hello. My name is Shannon. I'm Alyssa. Welcome back to another episode of Hashtag Judging You. Welcome back to Christmas time. Welcome back to a beam. Movie bash. We do have a joke. Yes, I do. Alyssa just found one. Just found it. Joke of the week. Who's never hungry at Christmas?
00:01:58
Speaker
I don't know. The turkey. He's always stuffed. Stuffed. Oh. Poor guy. This one's stupid. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? I don't know. A cookie sheet. I kinda like it. It's kinda cute. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
00:02:27
Speaker
besides being called ordinary. There's Noel. Yep. Got that one. Oh my gosh. Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?
00:02:42
Speaker
I don't know. It needed a root canal. Oh, but don't. Those are not fun, by the way. No, root canals are not. No. Not a good time. They're not a good time. I'm supposed to get another one over here on this tooth. Yeah. Anyway, what are we talking about?
Discussion on 'Christmas Wedding Planner' Movie
00:02:57
Speaker
I don't know. We're talking about a movie. A movie. So this is something a little different. Hi, everyone. Get cozy. Yes, grab some hot...
00:03:16
Speaker
Also, we're testing another new setup, so hopefully this one sounds okay. I think it will. Yeah, it sounded better when we were testing it. I think it'll be good. But anyway, get cozy, grab a very soft, your favorite blanket, and we are splitting a movie. We did. But instead of a horror movie, we're doing a Christmas romance movie.
00:03:29
Speaker
I almost said cocoa in chocolate mousse.
00:03:39
Speaker
And I guess we can just get into it. Yeah. So I did the first half and the movie that we covered today is called Christmas Wedding Planner. It's on Netflix but it's leaving soon. I think it said the 31st. The 31st, yeah. So get out there. It should go a little faster. Just goodbye. It should just go.
00:04:01
Speaker
So it was a 4.4 and I am interested to see what makes it a 4.4 because like my half wasn't good but it also wasn't terrible. So like so many of the reviews I sent Alyssa a screenshot. So many of the reviews were one star so I'm very curious. I'm very curious to how this movie started because I okay I think I got the gist of it because they allude to a few things. Right.
00:04:28
Speaker
But I didn't know everything, so I'm excited for the first 43 minutes of this movie. Well, we can jump into it then. Yes. Okay, so 4.4, this came out in 2017, and the synopsis is, while planning her cousin's lavish wedding, Kelsey Wilson's world is turned upside down when a private investigator, Connor McLean, shows up.
00:04:54
Speaker
Connor, hired by an unnamed source, disrupts the upcoming nuptials but manages to win Kelsey's heart. So there's the whole damn movie for ya. There's this stupid family guy joke where one of the dumb blondes of the show gets engaged and she shows up to the family's house to say hi and ask them some questions and stuff. And when they open the door they're like, oh hi Jillian, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. And she goes, are they showing? It's a really thin bra.
00:05:25
Speaker
Every time I hear the word nuptials, I'm like, let me ups. Yeah, that makes sense. Anyway. Alrighty, so we opened with some cute Christmas music. And by cute, I mean like. Dushy through the snow. It works like that, it's terrible. And just like a montage of like wintery things. You should sing for us sometime, Shannon. Dushy through the snow. Oh my gosh, like. In cursive.
00:05:54
Speaker
I went back and listened to a part of a Krampus the other day from a couple years ago. And I forgot that too. But I forgot about, what are they saying? Like jingle bells or something? It was just like people singing jingle bells and it sounded terrible. Anyway, so that's happening. We see snow, we see wreaths. So the first time I watched this, I did not take notes. And by the time I got done with my chunk, I was like, you know what? If this were a book,
00:06:24
Speaker
I think it'd be kind of cute. Like I could, I could get into it. It was a little weird as a movie. I could see it as a book. I could totally see this as a book too. Honestly, not gonna lie. Yes. Yeah. So when I took notes and it said based on the novel. No, it's not. It sure is. Oh my gosh. It is called Once Upon a Wedding. Doesn't that make so much sense? It does. Yeah. This is meant to be a book. It was absolutely meant to be a book. Now I want to read the book because I'm sure the book was so much better, right?
00:06:53
Speaker
Maybe we should. Maybe we should. Because I doubt it ends the way the movie ends. So. I guess we'll see. Book club, everybody. Yeah. Do you guys want a book club episode? Because Alyssa listens to a lot of books. She sure does. She does. And Shannon's the good friend that listens to all my books because I literally talk to her for like 10 minutes just barely about the fucking new book I'm reading. So yeah. She's a good friend. Thank you. Yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker
okay so yes we're opening and just so everybody knows there's a lot of voiceover in this movie yeah because it's a book it makes sense now so there's a lot of voiceover and there's a lot of texting and i'm so curious to do we find out who she's texting you don't know no okay okay great okay okay so
Kelsey's Role as a Wedding Planner
00:07:47
Speaker
Okay. So anyway, uh, we're getting all this snowy deliciousness when Kelsey's Kelsey, our leaning lady, her voiceover comes in and she explains that she's in the business of love and she thinks it's the best thing ever because couples come to her when they have found someone they, that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. And she gets to help them plan the wedding of their dreams because she's a wedding planner.
00:08:13
Speaker
and she explains that she is planning her sister's Christmas Eve wedding and as she's saying all of this we kind of transition to a coffee shop and there's this like beautiful blonde woman with a coffee like slow motion walking and she's like oh no that's that's not me don't don't pay attention to her and the real Kelsey slams into this girl because she's quirky oh yes and they spill their coffee everywhere
00:08:38
Speaker
And she was like, that's me. I'm Kelsey. That's bad. She wasn't that bad in my half of the movie. She's so adorkable. She was more endearing in my half, I think. That's good. She has her moments, but she definitely has her moments. That scene I sent you with her trying the cake. And she's like, I don't know. I thought that was...
00:09:03
Speaker
So, like, the more I watched it, the more I was like, ah, that was cute. But, like, the first time, I was like, what was that? And then I sent it to you, and then I watched it again, and then I watched it again, and then I watched it a couple more times, and I was like, okay, that was kinda cute. But, anyway, go ahead.
00:09:20
Speaker
okay so um she tries to explain to the blonde girl she's like i'm so sorry i was in a hurry my purse broke and then i was rushing over here and you don't care and she's like no no no i don't so kelsey's phone dings and she gets a message from her aunt olivia and it all it says is you're late and kelsey replies that she had some mishaps and she'll explain later and her aunt is like just because you're part of the family doesn't mean you can slack off
00:09:46
Speaker
I was like, okay, bitch. Olivia's a little uptight. Yeah, that stick is way up there. So far up there. But Kelsey says that she is just finishing up a couple final touches to make the wedding perfect and she'll be there soon.
00:10:01
Speaker
Um, Kelsey admits in her voiceover that this is her first real wedding and she wants it to go perfectly. And when I heard that, I was like, bitch, you just went on about how you, you're helping couples, like their perfect wedding. It's kind of to me to plan these things. No, they don't. Your cousin came to you and you said, I will do this. Yeah. Like, did you go to school for this or whatever? Is this like your, like, you're like, yes, now I am like, you know, like an intern somewhere.
00:10:26
Speaker
But anyway, she heads up to the counter of the coffee shop and she bumps into a handsome guy. Shirtless, he's handsome, but. Wait, are we talking about Connor? Okay, yeah, yeah. She bumps into Connor. Shirtless, his charisma score goes up like five more points. I didn't experience that. Well, I didn't either. I went and looked him up on IMDB. Oh. He's in a lot of Christmas romance movies.
00:10:56
Speaker
so nice nice but he is also if anyone knows who he is he is yorkie from letter kenny oh yeah nice so yeah
00:11:07
Speaker
Anyway, so she runs into this man and apologizes and says that he can go in front of her to make up for her physically running into him. So she just tends to do that a lot, right? So she's like, go ahead, go in front of me. And I'm sure he probably was. Yeah, pretty much. So he orders 12 coffees and 12 muffins and a blueberry scone. Hot shit. Yeah. And she's like,
00:11:34
Speaker
Okay, so glad I let you go in front of me. And she's obviously annoyed. But then she gets a phone call from her cousin, Emily. And Emily is like, okay, I have an idea. What about a snowflake? Ice sculpture. Okay, and Kelsey's like,
00:11:47
Speaker
okay i can see what i can do and she was like and see if they can make the ice silver she's like all righty we'll do that she hangs up and uh she immediately gets a call from her aunt and she's like we are not having a wedding on a cruise ship there will not be an ice sculpture and Kelsey's like okay great
00:12:09
Speaker
So
Kelsey and Connor's Investigative Antics
00:12:10
Speaker
Connor gets his coffees and he starts walking out and he's like, thanks for letting me go ahead of you. And she goes up to the counter and she asks for just a blueberry scone. And the barista says, sorry, that guy bought the last one. And she was like, no, no, he didn't. And he's like, well, you could buy this scone or this scone or this scone and blueberry muffin. And she was like, no.
00:12:33
Speaker
And so he was just like, I don't know what to do for you. So she sees Connor across the way and she goes over and she's like, I need your scone. I will pay you double for it. And he's like, no, I need the scone also. And she was like, I will pay you triple. And he's like, no. And so she like rifles through her purse and she's like, I have $7 and a gift card to somewhere and you can have it. However much is on it, you can have it. And he's like,
00:12:59
Speaker
No, no. So he turns down her offer and walks away and the barista walks up to her and says, I have a plain scone and a baggie of blueberries from my lunch you can have. That's a good, that's a good employee. It is. But also, no, no, thank you. Yeah. So she just walks away. No, thank you. Thank you. But you can have a raise. Yes, thank you for that. Here's like two dollar tip. Thanks, bye. So.
00:13:30
Speaker
Kelsey heads over to the engagement party that she is helping throw for her cousin and as she's walking up to the house she's texting someone. We don't get to see who it is. She says that she is nearly on her way to destroying her business before it even starts by step one showing up late to a party that she's throwing.
00:13:52
Speaker
two, not getting the blueberry scone to suck up to her aunt, and three, failing miserably, or step three would be failing miserably, buying a bunch of cats, here goes nothing, love you muchly. Love you muchly. That's what she says every time. So she goes in and she finds her cousin, Emily, who's all dressed up in like a cute little white dress and she has like a gold headpiece on her head and- It's not the dress, is it? No. Okay, good.
00:14:19
Speaker
We'll talk about that later. The dress. You see the bridesmaids dresses too? No. I'm glad I recorded it then. Good. Because yeah, I have not. But Kelsey compliments her and Emily is like, thanks. I'm just so excited. I don't know if you love Emily, but I love Emily. She's cute. She's precious.
00:14:42
Speaker
Yeah, Kelsey explains that she's like the sweetest person on the planet and like she feels like she should hate her but I just can't kind of a thing and like she's the closest thing to a sister that she's ever had. She reminds me of Emily, blonde Emily.
00:14:58
Speaker
I don't know if you had a good relationship with Emily Edwards because I'm like, I loved her. There was one time she was arguing with someone in the hallway and in between class or something. I don't know what she was talking about this person. All I heard was her go fine and her turn around and she started like storming towards me and she was very grumpy looking. And I was like, Hey, Emily. And she was like, hi, Alyssa. That's grumpy again. I kept walking. So like, even for those two seconds, she was like, I'm not mad at Alyssa. So I, you know, just like,
00:15:25
Speaker
Well, she was typical, like so pretty, like straight A student. Oh, yeah. I had cheerleader. Oh, yeah. But was nice to everyone. She was so nice to everyone. I loved the hell out of her. Yeah. So I'm just saying like, she reminds me a lot of Emily. So like.
00:15:39
Speaker
I don't to Emily. Any hoodles. Anyway. But yeah, Kelsey compliments her and she thanks her, but she's whispering. And so Kelsey's like, why are we whispering? And she's like, no one see me yet. I just want you to kind of like announce me when I go out there. And she's like, okay. And so she goes out and then we meet her aunt, Olivia. And she basically says that tardiness is not a way to start her business. And Kelsey's like, no, I'm sorry. And she tries to explain, but Olivia just cuts her off.
00:16:07
Speaker
And then she tells Kelsey that she hired a very prominent magazine editor, I think. Is that who that was? It's like Marianne Kemp. The Burnett lady? Yes. Okay. Yes. I did not know who the fuck she was. What are you from your microphone? I don't have anywhere to put my elbows. You sure don't. Neither do I. Keep up to yourself.
00:16:33
Speaker
I didn't know what that woman was. So she's gonna be covering the wedding. Okay, that's good. And she tells Kelsey that if Kelsey does well as the wedding planner, she can mention her in the article and her business will just take off from there, right? And Kelsey is like, okay, I won't disappoint you. And Olivia is like, you never do, except for with that blueberry scone.
00:16:56
Speaker
Like, bitch. Bitch, yeah. And Kelsey tries to explain that she was trying to get her ascone, and Olivia says not to worry, someone else brought her one.
00:17:08
Speaker
Yeah. So they go in, they start greeting guests and then Kelsey gets their attention and she thanks them all for being there and announces Emily's entrance. And after that, Kelsey sees Connor across the room and she goes straight over to him and she's like, how was that sconed? He was like, I don't know, it wasn't for me. It was for Olivia. And she's like, well, what do you, how do you, why? How? What? And he's like, I did my research. It's part of my job, Kelsey.
00:17:36
Speaker
And she's like, the fuck? What? And so she- I don't like saying those that something new that my aunt's favorite type of scone was blueberry. I would not be surprised that they knew my name. Yeah, that's fair. So, yeah. But she puts two and two together and she realizes that he must have known who she was the entire time. And so she was like, did you know who I was in the coffee shop? And he was like, well, I wasn't for sure because I had only seen some old pictures of you, but I assumed. I was like, what?
00:18:04
Speaker
Okay, seems real creepy. I was a little bit old, yeah. Right? But at that point Emily walks over and she says hi and she's like, oh, you two know each other? And he's like, yeah, actually we met this morning in the coffee shop. She has $7. And Kelsey's like, yep, I sure do. She's so awkward.
00:18:29
Speaker
I actually really liked their banter back and forth. I think that they were actually a perfect couple for this movie. Oh yeah. Cause I don't know, like later on I think they're, they're pretty good and stuff. Um, for as a, a dorkable as Kelsey is. Yeah. I actually liked her quite a bit. Yeah. So like she was endearing in a way, but that stuck in my earring. She has $7. She's just like, uh-huh. Yeah.
00:18:57
Speaker
So Olivia then calls Kelsey over to introduce her to the editor of the magazine, Marianne Kemp. And Marianne basically says that it's brave of Kelsey to be doing her family member's wedding as her first event and she wishes her luck. And they kind of go over like the details of the wedding and she's like, oh, who's your photographer? And Kelsey's like, oh, he's amazing, he's the best, like blah, blah, blah. And Mariette is like, is he someone that I know? And so she whispers in her ear
00:19:23
Speaker
And she's like impressed to get about it. I don't know. And Marianne is like, okay, well send me the pictures as soon as the wedding is over and I'll see what I can do. And walks away. And Olivia is like, well, you handled that really well. And she's like, but can you handle that? And she points over to Emily and Connor who were chatting it up. And Kelsey's like, what do you mean? And she was like, that's Connor. And Kelsey's like, oh, like Emily's ex.
00:19:49
Speaker
Connor that broke her heart Connor and the mom is like uh-huh and she says that he might be the biggest threat to the wedding or he could even be planning on stealing all of our money. I wouldn't put it past him so I really wish I knew what happened to this. I have so many theories. I want to hear your theories before okay so yeah before I tell you I'm sorry okay once I get through my piece okay
00:20:16
Speaker
I just like, we'll talk about it at the end. Anyway, go ahead. Also, side note, when I was watching this through, I didn't want to pause and type as much. So I was watching it like one notch slower than normal. And so the ants sounded drunk the whole time.
00:20:31
Speaker
like she was like slurring her words she talks a little more like fancy talk and so she was talking like this the whole time she's the type of lady that sits on the very edge of her decorative sofas and stuff and her little settees yes yes quite yeah
00:20:51
Speaker
So Kelsey decides that she's up for the job of Confronting him I guess and so she in her head is like I'm a fierce warrior and she walks right over to Connor and he's talking to another guy and she's like Hey you and he's like this holds up a finger. She's like don't interrupt us and in her head. She's like, okay I'll be a polite fierce warrior
00:21:16
Speaker
And like, because it's all voiceover, she's very dramatic with her face and stuff when she's thinking, quote unquote. And I was just like, if you were actually doing that in real life, it would be the most awkward thing. Like, I cannot handle it. Anyway, once he's done talking to this guy, she tells him that he needs to leave the party and he just can't come in here and ruin the wedding and crush Emily's heart again. And he's like, I'm actually here on Emily's invitation as a friend, but thanks.
00:21:45
Speaker
And at that point, Olivia clinks her glass and thanks everyone for being here to celebrate Emily's engagement to Todd. And in Kelsey's voiceover, we see like Todd walk in and she was like, and there's Todd. He's like the definition of charm. And the two of them met through charity work and they're just like the perfect match. And Connor's like, oh, he looks like a nice guy. And she was like, yeah, he is. And Connor's just kind of like,
00:22:14
Speaker
And they all toast and Emily and Todd turn to each other and they cheers and then they kiss each other on the cheek. But in that kind of like, I was going for your lips, but we're kissing on the cheek now. And so Emily's just kind of like.
00:22:28
Speaker
And Connor tells Kelsey that she has nothing to worry about when it comes to him and Emily. But that doesn't mean the wedding won't be ruined. And then he downs his champagne and just walks away. And she's like, oh, what? What? And so she goes after him. And she's like, you can't just say that and then leave. And he's like, oh, I just did. I gotta go. Bye. And she follows him outside.
00:22:52
Speaker
to his car and gets in his car. Is it his car or his truck or his van? I don't know. All I saw was the front seat. Is it like a big? Probably. I don't know. Like it could be the front of a van? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It needs a vehicle. Okay. And she just gets in his in the passenger seat and closes the door and he's like, hi. Okay.
00:23:14
Speaker
And she asks him what all that was about if he doesn't even have feelings for Emily. And he's like, here's the deal, Kelce. Can I call you Kelce? And she's like, no. He's like, all right, Kelce. So I'm a private investigator, which first of all, rule number one of a private investigator should probably be not to tell anybody that you're a private investigator.
00:23:36
Speaker
Just saying, but he says that he was hired to look into Todd. And she asks him why he would be looking into Todd. And he says he can't reveal that because it's a secret. And Kelsey's like, I know Todd, he's a great guy. And Connor's like, well, if that's true, you have nothing to worry about. And she's like, yeah, you're right. I don't. And she just gets out of the car. It's like, okay.
00:24:00
Speaker
But as she starts to walk away, Connor rolls down his window and she's like, hey, if you want to make sure the wedding goes off without a hitch, you could work with me and we could just, you know, make sure it all goes smoothly. And she was like, no. And he's like, okay, well, if you change your mind, I'll be over at George's. It's a really nice restaurant downtown. And she's like, okay, whatever. So later, maybe the next day, I'm not sure sometime in the future. I never know the timeline of this. No, no.
00:24:29
Speaker
It was weird. And I don't know when we started. I just know the wedding is on Christmas Eve. But that's, I don't know. Anyway, Kelsey is in this cute little boutique where they are going to be trying on dresses or doing a fitting for the dress or something. And she's texting her person and she says that the engagement party went well. This might, despite a small hiccup when Emily's ex showed up and that she's going to a dress fitting now. Love you much, Lee.
00:24:56
Speaker
Emily comes in with her bridesmaids, and Kelsey does a little voiceover rundown of all of them as they come in. So first off, I don't know any of their names. I probably should have looked them up, but I didn't. So the first one is the jealous bridesmaid. She's the little brown one. Yeah. Brown one.
00:25:16
Speaker
Is she not a little brown one? She's a little brown. Sorry. But Kelsey says, oh, what? They don't have names. What are they? Like the jealous one, the bitter one? Jealous, clumsy, bitter. I'm glad that's exactly what I called them. I think that's good. Okay. Because, yeah. That's sad. Okay. Thinking about coming nip-tules. Not the best picture for her. Anyway. The nip-tules. Yeah.
00:25:45
Speaker
But so she introduces the jealous bridesmaid who wishes that it was her wedding and that all the details were exactly what she wanted kind of a thing. And she walks in and hugs Emily and squeezes a little too tight. And she's like, this is exactly the same place I was gonna buy my wedding dress. Isn't that funny? And Emily's like- You live in a teeny ass little town. Right? I was like, yeah, same would be here, also same. Ugh.
00:26:09
Speaker
okay yeah but she Emily's just kind of like you're hugging a little tight okay thank you and then in comes the bitter bridesmaid who um just went through a divorce and so she's very just bitter about everything that happened oh the one that looks like a fish is she blonde yeah yeah okay sure
00:26:30
Speaker
The face she makes when I see her later, I was just like, she was like a dead fish. So. That's cool. Anyway. But she comes in and she's like, you know, it's not too late for us to do a girl's trip to Fiji instead of a wedding. And Emily's like, no.
00:26:47
Speaker
okay and then bridesmaids number, bridesmaid number three was the clumsy bride bridesmaid and she comes in holding like a box of cookies and a coffee and she goes to like shake kelsey's hand and there's icing all over her hand and she's like sorry i was eating a cupcake in the car okay so
00:27:06
Speaker
There's the rundown. So Emily pulls Kelsey aside and she says that her mom is still dead set on Emily wearing the Wilson dress, which is like the family wedding dress that's been passed down, right? And she doesn't know a nice way to tell her no or to like say, ew, basically. And Kelsey's like, I will take care of it. Don't worry about it. And in her little voiceover, she explains that the dress has been passed down and the way that a wedding planner handles this situation can really define her.
00:27:36
Speaker
And there were just so many things that she did as a wedding planner that you shouldn't be doing as a wedding planner. Like you're doing this as a cousin or like a maid of honor type thing. Oh yeah. Not a wedding planner. Yeah. Yeah. I like, I assumed she was the maid of honor as well. Yeah. But like, I don't know. Is she? Well, it's like where she stands in the wedding later. So like. That's what I was wondering here. Yeah. I mean, she walks down the aisle before. I mean, I guess I was kind of a wedding planner for some people.
00:28:05
Speaker
You helped me a ton. I did help, yeah. Mostly at 3am, but yeah. It was great. That's when we do our best work. It was beautiful. It was so beautiful. Y'all should be jealous. They should. Yeah. But yes, they can really define her, right? And Kelsey says that she'll talk to Olivia and she'll sugarcoat it, but make it so that she doesn't even know that she's sugarcoating it, right?
00:28:28
Speaker
And so she messages Olivia and says that Emily still has this dress in mind, like the Wilson dress, but she wants to get this one she's trying on today just as a backup. That's all she says, okay? Olivia immediately responds with, that was so sugar-coated, it gave me diabetes. No? Like what frills were there? It was just like, she likes it, but also this one.
00:28:53
Speaker
I don't know. I would have immediately been like, if she likes my dress, why is she getting a backup? Right. That's what I would have said. I don't know. I don't know. It was dumb.
00:29:04
Speaker
Anyway um Emily goes in to get her like try the dress on and Kelsey gets a call from an unknown number and so she answers it and Connor is like have you reconsidered my offer and she's like how how did you get my number and then she's like oh wait never mind you're a private investigator okay and she's like I don't have time for this right now and he's like I know finding the perfect dress is important and she kind of like looks around like are you watching me?
00:29:29
Speaker
Are you here? And he tells her to reconsider his offer and just hangs up and she's like, ugh, whatever. So she goes into my thing though. Sorry, from everything that I was watching from this movie, they were literally planning this wedding in like two weeks. So I'm like, no wonder why she's frazzled as all fuck. Cause like, you're only just now buying the dress? Like, yeah. I think she chose it. And then...
00:29:54
Speaker
is doing the fitting and i don't know i don't know you still need to do that like months in advance yeah like i don't know seems sketch yeah but she goes into the little area where the bridesmaids are sitting down and the jealous one says that for her wedding she's thinking of a tropical theme and she asks if kelsey can handle that and kelsey's like oh yeah totally like when is your wedding and she was like oh i don't have a date yet
00:30:19
Speaker
or a boyfriend but i will buy next december and she says that she's always wanted a christmas wedding like you just said tropical yeah a tropical christmas tropical okay and then she so she makes the boyfriend comment and then she's like hey what about connor like
00:30:38
Speaker
Is he single? I wonder. Like I saw him yesterday, but I wonder if he's single. And the bitter one asks who Connor is. And so Kelsey is like, that's Emily's ex. And the bitter one is like, don't even get me started on exes. We're like, we get it, you're divorced. But the jealous one goes on to explain that Emily met him on spring break. But when she introduced him to her, to, she said like, mama Olivia and daddy, whatever. He was like, don't ever talk like that.
00:31:03
Speaker
ever again. They didn't approve of him, which made her fall even harder. And she considered dropping out of school and moving to live with him wherever he was. And then out of the blue, he just dropped everything without a call or text, didn't say anything, left her heart broken, right? And the bitter one is like, like the saying goes, give a guy your heart and he'll make out with your sister in the closet at the family reunion. Oh shit. Oh shit. The jealous one is like, is that Nietzsche? I was like,
00:31:32
Speaker
You're funny. But anyway, the clumsy one kind of breaks the tension and offers everyone a cookie. She has like, I think it's macarons and she goes to like hand the box, but it's like, and just spills them all over poor fish faces lap. Yeah. Okay. That was fun.
00:31:51
Speaker
So Emily comes out in her dress, her wedding dress that she thinks is perfect.
Wedding Dress Drama
00:32:01
Speaker
So for everybody at home, if it was on its own, maybe it would be pretty. It was a high low wedding dress, which first of all, this is not 2007. What are you doing here? You are 10 years too late to be wearing that.
00:32:17
Speaker
Also, it's like, it's a Christmas themed. Christmas is the time to be wearing the massive, poofy, gorgeous dresses because- Yeah, this is like floor length and beautiful. Yeah. And like there were crystalies on it and have like a glitzy belt and stuff. Like it was cute. And like, I didn't hate it. I hated the fur. I don't know how you didn't hate the fur. Here's the thing though. I would have liked the fur, I think if it was like not up around her neck, if it was more like around- Yeah, like a shawl. Yeah.
00:32:47
Speaker
uh only straps just like first straps go around her neck yeah but i'm like i think if it had been like like lining the bosom and around her her forearms and around to the back of it had been like the whole thing and if it was floor length formal anesthesia stuff yes like yes i think that would have been gorgeous because it's it's the big it's the poofy it's the christmas time it's cold outside and so you know and
00:33:12
Speaker
And I think that would have actually been really pretty, but the way they had it, it was very bad. It's so bad. But, oh, also let's not forget it's backless. It is? It's backless. I don't think I ever saw the back. I'll show you the back. Oh gosh. It's bad. But it's just like this big old thing of fur and then backless.
00:33:31
Speaker
yeah okay mm-hmm cool all righty but everybody loves it you know they tell her she looks amazing and kelsey's like even your mom if she sees you in that dress will forget about the family dress for sure i'm like no unless she forgets about everything because it gives her amnesia because it's awful
00:33:50
Speaker
but the jealous one hugs her and tells her that she looks beautiful, even if it is the dress that I wanted for my Christmas wedding. Like, bitch, no, just leave. Why are you here? All right. And then they hear Todd walk into the boutique and it's like the front area and then like they're at a different section. And so she's like, I'm in my dress, don't come in here. And he's like, don't worry, I'm not gonna peek. And so Kelsey tells her to go take the dress off and she'll handle Todd.
00:34:19
Speaker
and so he comes in and he's like don't worry I'm not here to like you know bust up the girl time or whatever and he says that he just wanted to drop off some gifts for for his favorite girls he says anything to keep my girls happy and he hands out these little boxes that have necklaces in them okay I don't know the whole time I was just like yuck sir I don't like your vibe no it's not a good feeling at all I don't like it
00:34:46
Speaker
So he hands those out and he is like, make sure this one gets to Emily, extra love for me. And then he says he has to leave. And he goes out these sliding doors, but it doesn't like quite close all the way. And at the same time, Kelsey gets a call from her caterer. So she steps aside and she's like standing next to the door. And while she's talking on the phone, she can see Todd flirting with the girl at the front counter. The owner of this boutique, I think her name is Michelle. Michelle. Yeah. Okay.
00:35:16
Speaker
Good. We know Michelle. So he's talking to her and the caterer is telling Kelsey that he has to cancel because his wife left him and he just can't do it, right? And she's like, what do you mean you're canceling? And she's like trying to have a conversation, but also focusing on Todd. And she says out loud, you can't do this. You're cheating. And the guy on the phone is like,
00:35:41
Speaker
She's like, because we had a contract, we had a deal. And he's like, I can't, I can't. And he just hangs up. And while she's on the phone, Todd is like making her laugh. And he like points out the mistletoe above them. And he leans in and whispers something in her ear. And then he writes something in a notebook that she has on the desk.
00:36:00
Speaker
And then once Todd leaves, Kelsey goes out there and she's acting so awkward, like so awkward. And the owner is like, so did you find the dress? You know, did you guys find something that you liked? And she's like, oh yeah, Emily totally loves, oh no, sorry. The owner asks if they found something that they liked. And in her voiceover, she's like, maybe I should ask you the same thing, friend.
00:36:24
Speaker
and she's like Emily found the dress she loves it thank you so much and Kelsey tries to distract her so that she can look in the notebook so she's like that painting is it an original Degas and the girl like turns around and is like oh I got this from wherever and she tries to look in the notebook but she doesn't have enough time and then Emily comes in and she thanks Michelle for all of her help she
00:36:46
Speaker
and the rest of the girls kind of come out and say that it's time for them to plan the bachelorette party now like no more of this frou frou stuff we need to plan the bachelorette party and Emily's like I just want to spend time with you girls like the last thing I want to do is be one of those girls in matching t-shirts who just acts like it's her last night on earth and the clumsy one is like isn't that exactly what we were gonna do Kelsey's like
00:37:10
Speaker
We're not gonna do it anymore. I hate that mentality of like, oh, it's your last night of being single. Nope. Nope. I haven't been single for a long time. I've been dating and engaged with this person. Committed. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I hate that mentality of like, oh, you're not a free man anymore. You're not a free woman. People can go to Vegas and do like inappropriate, like scavenger hunts and stuff, like kissing strangers. Oh yeah. I'm just like, what? Like I don't,
00:37:38
Speaker
hate that someone would go to a strip club. I don't like it, no. But like, as long, okay, I can see the guys getting a lap dance or whatever, but they're not supposed to touch the dancers at all. I would not be okay with it, okay? There's lots of girls that are like, it's not that big of a deal. If you had your fiance's approval. Yeah, exactly. And you're like, and no touching, no doing anything with them kind of a thing. If you're just out trying to have a little bit of fun and obviously your guys are there, like, and if they're single, yada, yada, that's fine.
00:38:07
Speaker
So I don't think that's the worst thing. I would, Zach would be in trouble. Yeah, but thank you. No, thank you. Yeah, that's just, I don't, okay, here's, I don't think Zach could ever walk into a trip club.
00:38:17
Speaker
If we had actually gotten you a stripper for your birthday, I would have been so uncomfortable. I was so scared. I was so scared. It was so fun. It was so fun, but I was so scared. And then I'm like wandering around Walmart with Sarah because you guys sent her in to take me to Walmart to get ice cream and stuff so you can set up for the party. We're just like wandering around and I'm holding ice cream being like, what's happening? Do we have to go home? She's like looking at her phone like, not yet.
00:38:45
Speaker
they're not going home yet and then she's like okay we can leave and i was like okay if we have to i was so scared so yeah it was a fun joke i probably would have thrown up
00:39:03
Speaker
Just cuz I was so like nervous. I was like, oh no, like anyway, anyway, okay So Emily and the bridesmaids walk out and Kelsey's kind of like at the end as she goes to walk out the door But then she closes it and turns around and goes up to the the front desk and she's just kind of like awkwardly like
00:39:22
Speaker
Now what do I do kind of a thing? And she sees a box of cookies on the table and she was like, oh, are those cookies from Charles Bakery? And I was like, what the fuck kind of name is Charles? What is it like? What is it short for?
00:39:39
Speaker
Is it just his name? It's awful. Charles. I do love him though. He's cute. I only got to see him for a few seconds. Me too. But he was cute. He was cute. He was adorable. But she asks if she gets the cookies from his bakery and she's like, yeah, I pick them up every morning. And she's like, do you want one? And Kelsey's like, no.
00:39:57
Speaker
Yeah, okay, yes, I do. And she takes one and she just leaves. I don't know. So the next day, Kelsey is at Charle, not his bakery, but I guess where he teaches classes, like one-on-one things. And so she is there with him and she is going to have a class with Emily and he's gonna teach them. Is it like just like a kitchen? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like with a weird, like larger fireplace in the background. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like house. Yeah.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I'm like, maybe he's like, just like, oh, I only cook out of my place, you know, like out of my house. Okay. But maybe this is his house. I don't know. Anyway, so, um, she's there and he tells her, oh, so they're going to have a lesson to make gingerbread cookies.
Gingerbread Lesson and Todd's Investigation
00:40:43
Speaker
And Emily is showing up in a few minutes. Why? I'll get there. Okay.
00:40:48
Speaker
So he tells her that he doesn't like this plant and he's getting like really freaked out and anxious about it and he can't lie. And she was like, I really need your help. Everything's gonna be okay. And he was like, I'm not good at lying, Kelsey. And she's like, well, you're not lying because we are here and you're giving me a private lesson. That's the truth. Because he told Michelle that instead of going to the bakery to pick up the cookies that morning, she needed to come wherever this is. And so she was like, it's not a lie. We are here. And he was like,
00:41:17
Speaker
I guess. That's true. She wants Michelle to show up there so she can try to check her purse for the notebook. Why would it be in her notebook? Or why would it be in her purse? Because she takes it to work every day. Why would you not leave it at work? I don't know. Like I just... I don't know. Okay. Because it didn't look like a planner. It looked like a notebook. So I don't know.
00:41:39
Speaker
like i could understand a planner yeah if it was a planner that'd be different yeah i don't know they should have just made it a planner yeah okay but anyway um kelsey's like you just have to distract her long enough so that i can find out this information and he was like how am i going to do that when her cookies are ready they are ready to go as soon as she gets here and she was like well i guess we'll have to make them not ready and she just cuts the ribbon on the top of the box
00:42:03
Speaker
so that he has to retie a ribbon. And he's like freaking out about it. He's like, oh, oh, the ribbon. He looks a little eccentric about his baking. And then Emily walks in and they kind of start chatting and putting on aprons and stuff. And Emily is like excited that they're gonna do this gingerbread cookie thing, but she's also nervous because she's going to be giving them to everyone at her wedding. And the senator's gonna be there. I was like, why? Because you're rich.
00:42:32
Speaker
Is this Senator Todd's dad? I don't think so. But did they say that the Senator's last name was? No. Okay then. It never comes up. Okay. Okay cool. At that point Michelle walks in and she's like sorry I'm a little early and they kind of chat for a second because Charles just kind of like okay and Charles is like I'm so sorry that you had to come all the way out here instead of going to the bakery. I know how strange that must be for you
00:43:01
Speaker
And she's like, no, we come here every time you have a private lesson like I did last week. That's normal. And he's like, oh yeah, it's totally normal. It's totally fine. And Kelsey's just like, my, my dude. Kelsey was the one who was told she has to lie. She'd be doing the same thing. Oh, 100%, 100%. But he keeps fiddling with the bow on the box and he's like, the cookies just aren't ready yet.
00:43:25
Speaker
And Kelsey's like, why don't you just go take a walk, go freshen up while you wait? And she's like, no, it looks like he's almost done. I'll just wait here. And so Kelsey's like, okay. And he's like, actually, it's going to be a few minutes. So, you know, and she's like, okay, well, I'll just call the shop and see if this person can open while I, you know, I'm picking up the cookies. So she walks away. And so that's a kind of a smart business practice, though. Have fresh cookies while people can try on wedding dresses. Yeah. So smart. Yeah. So delicious. Yeah.
00:43:53
Speaker
So Kelsey accidentally throws flour on Emily. She's just kind of like poof. And so she tells her that she needs to go clean herself up. And so she walks out of the room and Kelsey starts digging through Michelle's purse and she does find the notebook. And there's a note inside that says, hey, gorgeous, thanks for the hookup. Dinner on Wednesday. And Michelle comes back just as she's like putting the notebook in her purse and she's like, oh, there was flour on your purse. I was just cleaning that up for you. Don't even worry about it.
00:44:20
Speaker
and uh Michelle's like thanks and she just like takes the cookies and leaps and Emily comes back in and she's like can we start cooking and Cheryl's like it's baking my dear baking so they get started and Kelsey gets a text from Connor asking if she's changed mind about working with him and she puts her phone away because Cheryl is like
00:44:41
Speaker
Excuse me. Hello. Excuse me. And he goes into the history of gingerbread. He's like, back in the year 992, this person blah blah blah. And I'm just like, dude, just teach me how to make it. He's very passionate.
00:44:56
Speaker
So a little bit later, I think, Kelsey walks into George's restaurant, or George's, whatever, and sees Connor at a booth. And he's got like pictures and files and stuff in front of him. And she sits down in front of him and she's like, okay, here are my terms. I will help you look into Todd. And in return, you will tell me everything.
00:45:18
Speaker
I was like, I don't think that's gonna fly, but okay. And she says, if we find out anything, I will be the one to tell Emily, not you. And he's like, all right. Right? And so she's like, all right, how do we start PI-ing? And he's like, well, first, I think we need to start out by eating because I'm pretty hungry and I know a girl needs to eat before she can work. Besides, this is like the best food you'll ever have.
00:45:42
Speaker
And he was like, I can even order for you if you want. I've tried basically everything on the menu. And she was like, well, if that's the case, I want to order for you because it'll be a surprise, I guess. No, never. People aren't allowed to order for Alyssa. No. No. No. I wouldn't have too many food allergies. I'm a picky ass eater. I mean, if it was Zach, he would know exactly what he wanted. Yeah, he would know what I wanted. Like, yeah.
00:46:03
Speaker
So my favorite part of the movie is coming up. And that is the owner of the restaurant comes over and it's fucking Joey Fatone from NSYNC. And I was like, you. He was awesome. Yeah. So cute. But he walks over to the table and he's like, Connor, I didn't know you were having a date. And both of them are like, it's not a date.
00:46:24
Speaker
And he's like, okay. And Kelsey says that she'll have whatever he's making in the back that smells so good. And that Connor will have the lobster. And I don't know, is his name George? Is he George's? Okay. He's George. He never say that in my part. So George is like, are you okay with that Connor? And he was like, this is a professional meeting and I'm just gonna be accommodating. She can order me whatever. And he's like, okay. Well, Alyssa would say, no, I'm allergic to that. Right.
00:46:53
Speaker
Kelsey, he kind of goes away and puts their food odor in. Kelsey asks Connor who hired him and he's like, I can't tell you that part. Like that's actual confidential information. And Kelsey's like, you told me no secrets. And he's like, I have a binding contract for that. Sorry, love. Confidential. Yep.
00:47:11
Speaker
But he asks why she changed her mind and why she wants to help now. And she says that she wants to protect Emily in the case that Todd really isn't who he says he is. I was like, that's cute. So Connor is like, well, I did some digging and Todd has some unpaid parking tickets and he stole a candy bar when he was nine. And she was like, I thought you were good at your job. And he was like,
00:47:33
Speaker
And then he says that he has a few leads that say that his family isn't as well off as they appear to be. So he might be after Emily's money. And he thinks the family might be like fully bankrupt, but he can't really tell until he gets into Todd's father's computer to check out his financial files.
00:47:52
Speaker
Okay? Okay. So Connor's like, well, they're having a tree trimming party at the house, which is the fanciest rich people bullshit I've ever heard in my entire life. And he's like, but I'm sure you already know about that. And she's like, yep, I'm hosting it or partially, you know, helping planet. And he's like, well, you can go as my plus one and we can find out what we need to know. And she's like, you think I'm just going to show up with my cousin's ex-boyfriend? And he's like, yeah. She's like, okay.
00:48:19
Speaker
So I think they kind of get interrupted by George who comes out with their food and he puts the lobster in front of Connor and the pasta in front of her. And Connor's like, thanks buddy. And he was like, yeah, what are best friends for? And Kelsey tries the pasta and she's like, this is incredible. And then she thinks for a second, she's like, have you ever considered catering a wedding? And he was like, well, I've never done one before, but I definitely probably could. He's like, but I have to talk to my partner.
00:48:47
Speaker
And then he turns to Connor and he's like, so partner. And Connor's like, yeah, we can probably make that work and just kind of like smirks at Kelsey. And she's like, you, this is your restaurant. Kelsey's lived in this town her whole life. And Connor doesn't live here. Yeah. And he made it seem like it was like downtown, like they live on the outskirts of town and this is like a downtown restaurant. I guess. I mean, I guess I haven't been to every single restaurant here in town either, but like,
00:49:15
Speaker
I don't know. That's just, it feels like if this is such a popular, like you think you'd have gone to it. And there was no one else in the restaurant when she was there. Zero people.
00:49:25
Speaker
That's the rest of the movie, too. Yeah, weird. Yeah, she realizes that it's his place. She's like, oh, you own this place? And George is like, excuse me, it is our place. I am the talent behind the scenes kind of a thing. And he's like, but I'll let you get back to your meal and your private detective work over here. And as he's like leaving, he's like, enjoy the lobster and kind of like
00:49:47
Speaker
smirks at Connor so Kelsey comments that he's full of surprises and he's like yeah I guess so and after a minute she's like eating her pasta and she's like aren't you gonna eat that and he's like well I would but I'm allergic and I would die so no I'm not going to eat it and she was like do you want to switch meals and he was like well if you want to keep me alive sure and she's like
00:50:08
Speaker
Has dates for a minute. And then she's like, okay, we'll switch. So now we see Kelsey. She is at her house getting ready for the tree trimming party. She live in like just like a flat. I think so. Like that's it, like there's the bed, there's her couch, there's her fucking Christmas tree. I didn't really see too much of it, but yeah, that's what I saw. Yeah.
00:50:25
Speaker
So she's getting ready when she gets a call from Olivia, and Olivia says that she's running late, but mostly she wants to avoid talking to Todd's parents because all they do is talk about their boat. And she asks if Kelsey can come up with an excuse for her.
00:50:38
Speaker
I'm like, this is not her job as a wedding planner or as your niece. It's weird. But Kelsey agrees because she wants to impress everybody. And then she pulls up her texts and she types to her person that she can't even begin to explain what she's about to do. She's waiting for someone who could cause the downfall of her first wedding gig. And as always, she has no idea what she's doing.
Party Shenanigans and Romantic Tensions
00:51:02
Speaker
Love you much, Lee.
00:51:03
Speaker
So Connor walks into the party where Kelsey is already there waiting for him and she tells him that he's late and he responds, only if you're looking at a clock.
00:51:13
Speaker
That's not... The $7 line was hilarious. That one is not as bad. So they head into the party and he's like, where's the study? I need to go check out the computer. And she's like, it's upstairs. And he tells her to follow his lead. And she's like, excuse me, I have an actual job to do here. And he's like, all right, well, you go do your little job thingy and distract them and I'll go check things out. And she's like, you did not just say my little job thingy. And he's like, yes, I did.
00:51:40
Speaker
And she gets interrupted and scared of the shit out of by Todd's dad who walks up. Who is terrifying. Is he? I thought he was scary. Just his face. She's a scary guy. Scary guy. But she greets him and she's like, you have such a beautiful home. And he's like, it better be beautiful because it cost me a fortune. And she introduces him to Connor. And she's like, this is Connor. And he was like, Kelsey's boyfriend. And she's like,
00:52:10
Speaker
Fucking, excuse me? Can you say what? And Todd's dad is like, well, you have to excuse the party a little bit because we're severely understaffed. We had to fire some people who were stealing from us and just kind of like goes on his way. And Connor's like understaffed, huh? Yeah, this guy's definitely broke. And Kelsey's like, why didn't you say you were my boyfriend? And he was like, it just seemed like the easiest cover story. And he was like, why, what were you gonna say? And she was like, that you're catering the party because you are. And he was like, oh yeah, that could have worked.
00:52:41
Speaker
And he's like, okay, you do your thing. I'm gonna go around and investigate. She's like, okay. So Todd's dad comes back over with his wife and they talked to Kelsey for a minute and they immediately start talking about their boat. And Kelsey is like tuned out and she's just watching Connor go around and he's talking to the weight staff and he's like, do they take part in your tips? Do they give you health benefits? What about maternity leave? And all the waiters are like, ah.
00:53:06
Speaker
what no and he's just like passing out his card to everybody and so she's not paying attention at all and the mom is like Kelsey did you hear my question and she's like yes that sounds amazing and the mom is like great I'm so excited to sing for Todd and Emily's first dance yeah and Kelsey's like okay
00:53:33
Speaker
Yeah, and the mom says that audiences everywhere have told her that she sounds exactly like Celine Dion. And she says it like that. Celine Dion. And then suddenly Emily's jealous friend, Bridesmaid walks by and so Kelsey grabs her and she's like, I've been looking for you everywhere. We were talking about weddings and you need to tell them what your dream wedding is. I'm gonna go.
00:53:59
Speaker
And the jealous one just starts going off. And she's like, it's gonna be Christmas themed. There's gonna be ice everywhere. Everyone on skates. And you would think, how are you gonna get a priest on skates? Canada.
00:54:11
Speaker
Okay. Also, I knew this was filmed in Canada. Probably. Because there was a few parts where they like said weird words a little bit. But anyway, well, Canada apparently the cheapest place to fucking film. Apparently. Yeah, they do a lot up there. So she dips away and she goes after Connor and Connor sneaks upstairs into the study and Cal State Lake follows after him and he's trying to hack into the computer and he's like, oh man, he has a lot of security. And she's like, weird, but he's trying to protect his financials.
00:54:38
Speaker
and he's having a hard time guessing the password and so he's like you know the guy like help me out and she's like i really don't know him at all and he's like okay well usually these guys pick something pretty like arrogant you know and so she's walking around and she's kind of starting to panic and she's like what are we doing here oh no and then she sees a picture of their boat framed up on the wall and the name of the boat is get it all
00:55:02
Speaker
which is a weird name for a boat. And so she tries to tell, she tells him to try that and it works. And so he starts downloading the files, but they hear Todd's dad coming up the stairs and they're like, fuck. And so he comes in the room and Kelsey just panics and grabs Connor and they start kissing. And the dad is like, excuse me, hello. You're in my office. And she was like, I'm sorry, we were just trying to find a quiet place to be alone.
00:55:32
Speaker
And Connor is like, you know how it is? Trying to keep a woman happy. And she like punches him. And Todd's dad is like, oh, I know how it goes. I'll just leave you to it. And Todd grabs the thumb drive and they just kind of like laugh. And they're like, ah, relief. We did it. End. End scene. End of my part. In the beginning of mine. Yes.
00:55:57
Speaker
We now see a vision board. Okay. And Kelsey is sitting on her bed cross-legged as she's like, like just putting a, you know, like, oh, wedding dress here. It's not the wedding dress that Emily got. It's just like, you don't need that on the vision board anymore. Yeah. She's literally just like making, I don't know if she's just like making a wedding board as like, just, you know, like, Oh look, here's just something, you know? Yeah.
00:56:25
Speaker
She seems like she's actively working on this wedding. Anyway, not the point, okay? And her phone rings and it says, Aunt Olivia, but she goes, ew, and lets it ring. She gets a pop-up text, you know, pops up on the screen, saying, I guess you're too busy to answer your phone. Come to the house for a sit-down chat.
00:56:45
Speaker
Ooh. And Kelsey's just like, yeah, I know what that means. As she's, she was sitting there holding a mug. Kayla, like a pretty decently sized mug. You know, she's sitting there holding a mug. She's just like putting these pictures down and stuff. And as the texts pop up, she picks up the spoon and starts eating Cheerios out of the mug. Can I just tell you that Tony only eats cereal out of cups and he drives me?
00:57:11
Speaker
Banana that's insane. I know I am aware I know I love you so much Lee. Love you much Lee. I cannot handle it. It drives me crazy
00:57:25
Speaker
But anyway, she's just eating and I was like this bitch. Anyway, so now we see a very strict looking lady who I now realize is Aunt Olivia asking a little girl and I was like, who the fuck is this little girl? It's young Kelsey. And she says, now Kelsey, tell me why we don't push little boys on the playground. And Kelsey says, little girl Kelsey says, because a Wilson is a Wilson inside and outside of the house.
00:57:55
Speaker
Okay. And also for, I don't think I mentioned that she said that her aunt pretty much was her mother figure. I don't know if they raised her. We'll get to that. Okay. Okay. Cool. And then we flash back to aunt Olivia wearing a different outfit saying, now Kelsey, why don't we yell sexist pig at our school principal? And the same little girl in a different outfit says the same thing because a Wilson is a Wilson inside and outside of the house.
00:58:22
Speaker
I kind of like that. Right? And then a much older Kelsey is sitting there in a tennis outfit and her aunt is standing there in a tennis outfit with a tennis racket. Okay. And says, now what do we say about sneaking out in the middle of the night with boys? And Kelsey says, make sure to shave your legs first. Ooh. And she's like, she goes, ah. Yeah. But then,
00:58:50
Speaker
go to Kelsey, goes into the fancy house and stuff, right? Huffington, and that she's late and stuff, and I was like her, yeah. Says that she didn't bring her new accessory, Connor, right? And asks if this is what she calls keeping an eye on him.
00:59:12
Speaker
Does it? Oh yeah, I guess she was kind of tasked with that, but not. I guess, I don't know. It was just like, what are you going to do about that situation? Right. Kelsey rolls her eyes a little bit. She's like, we're not dating. It's complicated. I'm like, no, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. Okay. I thought there was a lot more moments of them together. No. Because the rest of this, anyway, her answer says that, of course you need to indulge your sweet tooth every now and again.
00:59:42
Speaker
But Connor McLean? McLean? McLean, I guess? Is trouble. And Kelsey says that he's actually not that bad and there's nothing going on between them. And her aunt thinks that Kelsey is trying to convince herself, not her. Yeah, no one believes you. Kelsey deflects saying that she has to get to the bakery for the cake tasting. And her aunt makes a snarky comment about her having a newfound taste for punctuality.
01:00:08
Speaker
oh thank you now you're showing a fun time yeah you know anyway so kelsey gets to the bakery
01:00:14
Speaker
And I thought it was just her friend, because I didn't know who this girl was, so I have friend for a little bit in the notes. Anyway, but it's Emily. Yeah. And their baker, Charles, and Charles going off about how horrible everything is. It's all garbage. Now you should just throw me out and just going off and stuff, right? And he said something about being a fruitcake. I didn't understand. He's like, I should just be a fruitcake or something. I don't know. Because no one likes him. I have no idea. Sorry.
01:00:43
Speaker
And yeah, he's just talking about how horrible it is, but the girls are just gushing about how amazing his cakes are and stuff. And that's the scene I sent you where she like goes, she's like, try this. And she goes to give, Emily goes to give Kelsey a bite and she makes this sound. And I'm like, I would have been like.
01:01:03
Speaker
Anyway, those cakes did look delicious and stuff. But he, Charles goes, I can't be here. I can't watch you eat my cakes and stuff. Like I just, oh my gosh. And then he's like, don't try the lemon one. I used, I don't, I didn't see what, he said some kind of lemon, not like he just said it was a different kind of lemon or something like that. And he's like, what was I thinking? And then like walked out. This poor boy. I like, yeah, he just- He needs some medication. Yeah, something he's-
01:01:28
Speaker
Sucks. I'm strong. Yeah. He, I don't know. Maybe he should bake some pop brownies or something because that boy. Um, anyway. Okay. So they're sitting there like trying a couple bites of the cake and Emily turns to her and she's like, so when were you going to tell me about you and Connor?
01:01:45
Speaker
And Kelsey immediately apologizes and she's like, she's like, I'm so sorry. I should have told you right away. I just, and she's like, why are you upset? And she's like, we dated 10 years ago. And that's when I learned about this, you know? And she's like, we dated 10 years ago. It's fine and stuff. And Kelsey's all nervous. She's like, so you're okay with all this? And then her voiceover pops up and she's like, wait, this? There is no this, right?
01:02:11
Speaker
And Emily is just like, I'm about to marry the man in my dreams and you're going to make that happen in just a couple of days. I don't care. I am so happy. Like she's just, you know, and I'm always on your side, Kelsey. And I'm like,
01:02:27
Speaker
That's so sweet. She's amazing. I love her so much, right? They continue eating the cake and now I'm fucking hungry. But they were like, oh, the lemon, oh, wow. They were just going off about it and stuff. But anyway, back at her house, I'm guessing is Kelsey's house. Anyway, Kelsey's laying on her bed and she's texting someone who I was like, who the fuck is this? We'll get there. Okay. I have a theory. Oh yeah. My theory.
01:02:53
Speaker
it was oh yes sorry no it's okay sorry um so the texting thing i just kind of assumed it was like
01:03:00
Speaker
her mom's phone number, even though maybe her mom is dead. I don't really know. That was my only thought for like a parent or something. And then with the private detective thing, my thought was like, he's actually looking into her for some reason, but I don't know why he would be. Yeah. And it's like a cover that he's looking into Todd or that Todd really is after Emily for her money. I don't really know, but those were some of the thoughts. I don't know.
01:03:30
Speaker
Well, Kelsey's texting someone and says, the only thing that feels worse than spying on her best friend's fiance behind, oh, she said Emily, spying on Emily's fiance behind her back is when your best friend tells you that she loves you unconditionally.
01:03:47
Speaker
To say I'm in over my head would be an understatement of the year. I can't do this. Tomorrow I'm going to tell Connor I'm out. I'm not the right person for this. There must be another explanation for Todd's Wednesday dinner date. Plus, Christmas Eve winter bliss is only a week away. I need to focus. Love you muchly.
01:04:05
Speaker
Yep. That was just a bunch of texts. I was like, fuck shit. She then throws herself under the sheets and goes to bed with all the lights on. She has multiple lights on. She's got an above light. She's got a desk lamp light. She's got her Christmas tree still plugged in, which I'm not like, I think it's fine to fall asleep. I think that's cozy. Yeah. It's so cozy. But like,
01:04:29
Speaker
The other lights, you're a maniac. Yeah, every light was on. No. I'm like, are you my husband? What the fuck? I just like, no. Anyway, so the next day she goes to, I thought it was some diner. It's George's.
01:04:45
Speaker
And tells, I said, I'm guessing Connor, she's out. And he tells her, no, she's not. And she insists that she is and that this was a mistake and she's not dumb and that she loves Emily and isn't going to be a part of ruining her wedding. And Connor tells her that he knows she's not dumb because she got that thumb drive. And Kelsey says, okay, I want to know what's on it.
01:05:10
Speaker
and like sits down and is like, okay, tell me, right? And he says that they're not broke, but that doesn't mean they aren't up to something no good. Okay. Literally everybody on the planet, but okay. And he says that she needs to join him for three days. And if they find nothing on Todd, he'll call off the investigation and leave town.
01:05:32
Speaker
So they're just gonna follow him around for three days, right? And she agrees reluctantly, shaking his hand and says that she knows where Todd will be on Wednesday, which I don't think it mentioned, which restaurant? It did. Sorry, I didn't leave that. It was like, I think it was Turbo's. Something like that. I was like, what? Okay, yeah, I didn't understand what restaurant they were saying. And so she was like, I know where he's gonna be.
01:05:54
Speaker
So the next day, or later that day, I don't know. Sometimes in the future. I am in the future, yeah. They're sitting in his van and she's like, she's just wearing jeans and a coat and gloves, a scarf, glasses, and a hat, okay? She's like incognito. But like, she just looks like it's cold outside. Okay, you know?
01:06:15
Speaker
Yeah. Sam's the sunglasses. She looks like everyone else walking down the street. Yeah, I mean that's the point, isn't it? And he was like, he's making fun of her even though he's wearing a coat and a scarf and stuff, right? Anyway, she's just like, um, she's like, well, I think your truck is cold.
01:06:33
Speaker
bundled up anyway, right? And they see Todd giving money to some street performers and she's like, see, he's so sweet and stuff. And Connor says that it's gotta be his guilt eating him up,
Comedic Observations and Emotional Turmoil
01:06:42
Speaker
you know? And she's like, okay, whatever. He then tells her to get down just so he can like fall on top of her and stuff. And they like flirt a little bit. And then she's like, get off of me. And then there was this like montage of them following Todd around town and seeing him doing nice things for people while they watch him and they giggle and dance in the van and stuff.
01:07:03
Speaker
and dance in the van? You can't just glaze over that. They're just giggling and then they show the same things over and over again. They could have shown Todd just opening the door for someone. No, they show him seeing this old woman at the top of the stairs and he goes up the top of the stairs and he sees that she's carrying a bunch of bags and a heavy box. So he takes the box from her and so she can get down the stairs and then he gives her the box back.
01:07:32
Speaker
And like, okay. And they made it seem like it was supposed to be this like, oh, look at all of the things he's doing. And they show him just like, just like walking. And then like, and then they're, and they're in the car just being like, would you, would you, would you, like playing with your sunglasses. This movie felt very like 2002. Yeah. But it was in 2017. Yeah. Anyway, it was just, I don't know.
01:08:00
Speaker
the vibes. Yeah and I'm like they could have made it more montage-y. They really could have made it seem like for three days they were doing this. Yeah. But they didn't like they literally could have had her change more clothes more often or something or like you know or I don't know just literally him doing anything else just like oh helping somebody walk across the street or oh there's a kitten in the tree let me get the kitten out of the tree for like they could have done so many things and instead they just kept flashing back to him helping this old woman.
01:08:28
Speaker
And him just like... Standing around looking charming. Yeah, and I was just like, what are we doing, guys? Okay. Anyway, so they get to the restaurant and they're just kind of sitting there for a second. They're watching Todd and stuff, right? And Todd's sitting at this table just kind of like... And then he just walks away. And she talks about how her uncle wasn't really around a lot. He kept traveling, but anytime he was home, she could hear him and her aunt arguing in the other room. She thinks that he thought of them as a nuisance.
01:08:57
Speaker
And they look over and see Todd is still sitting alone at the table and they don't think anyone's going to show up. And fucking out of nowhere, the fucking waiter returns with a candelabra, a lit candelabra.
01:09:14
Speaker
and sets it down and a fucking bowl of wings. That's the most romantic thing of all time wings. I think they were wings. I don't know, they were just balls of something and kind of like saucy. So I didn't, I think they're wings. Anyway.
01:09:33
Speaker
And Connor decides to chow down and says that he thinks that he's done and needs to call it. And she says, so you're just giving up? And he says, well, I've looked into him and I don't think he's after her money. I think he's being legit. And she says, just when I was starting to enjoy myself a little bit. And Connor says, that's funny. You're not the pain of the butt I thought you were going to be. Thanks.
01:09:56
Speaker
says something about a scone and her stomping over, demanding him to leave a party with her nose all cute and wrinkled. And I was like, what the fuck are we talking about here? But now that makes sense. And the other party where she practically attacked him and she replies, excuse me, I was acting and you weren't really a good kisser. So, and he's like, is that so? Well, and she's like, well, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you know,
01:10:21
Speaker
And he says, well, what if we try again? Maybe I can do better. Oh God, I can't. And she says, well, if you want to try and redeem yourself, I mean. Suddenly she looks up and she sees that Todd is standing to greet this woman walking up to him, right? Yeah. Who looks like a prissy ass bitch. Oh yeah. With her hair pulled back. It's all slick. Yeah.
01:10:44
Speaker
Oh, and they do the little cheek kiss. The muah muah muah. Yeah. And she's like, that's the woman she saw Todd flirting with at the dress store. And Connor says, really? And she's like, yep. Connor says, that's why you brought me here because you didn't tell me that before. And she goes, well, no, of course I didn't. You'd think he was cheating on her or something. And he's like, yeah. I do. Yeah, I would.
01:11:09
Speaker
Weird. As she gets up reminding herself in her head that she is a fierce warrior. Oh god. As she like stomps over and she will tell him what a no good cheat he is and might even throw a drink in his face for dramatic effect. Mmm. Which, don't do that. That's assault. Don't do that. Don't do that.
01:11:26
Speaker
Todd looks up seeing her and he just kind of stands up and he's like, oh, Kelce, what are you doing here? Right? Which he does look a little like, what are you doing here? And she's like, he's engaged to my cousin. And I was like, oh, cousin, not best friend.
01:11:43
Speaker
There we go. Anyway, and you're out here in this romantic dinner date with this woman and both of them look a little uncomfortable. They're like, okay. And then Connor walks up and Todd stands or he's like, did you put her up to this? Right? Like just, yeah. And she's like, don't look at him. Okay. I saw what you wrote in her book and she can't believe that she would do this to Emily. And the Michelle, the, so he was like, you looked in my book.
01:12:09
Speaker
Okay. That's what you're getting from this? Bitch, like just, yeah. Oh, and she can't bel... Kelsey can't believe that he would do this to Emily and that she's going to tell her everything. And Todd replies, I was buying her dress and it was supposed to be a surprise. And I was like, what's surprise? She's going to walk up and pay for the dress and be told it's already paid for? Yeah. Who else paid for it? Besides your husband. I mean, that could be the surprise. Yeah, but it's just, here.
01:12:37
Speaker
And that's why he stopped by when she was there, that he's been friends with Michelle for years, and she set him up with a good deal for the dress. The hookup. The hookup, yeah. And that's why he was thanking her by taking her out to dinner. And Kelsey's like, really? That's the story you're gonna tell me? And he's like, yeah, Michelle's husband's the one that set up the reservation. He owns the restaurant. And I was like, anyone can set up a reservation. What are we talking about here? And the whole time Michelle's like,
01:13:06
Speaker
Okay. The smug ass bitch. And I was like, hold on. All of this aside. All of this aside. Pow! She's a bitch. Fucking get that look off your face. Fuck you. Like, I just... Pow! Pow! Let's go! Stop looking at me like that. Ya cheeky, see? Yeah. Pow! Pow! Like... Yes. We just be like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Cheating, not cheating. Pow! Don't care. Bitch. The man. Let's go. Give me that fucking face.
01:13:41
Speaker
to punch her, because she just looked like, mmm, mmm, mmm. Anyway, they hired her for that scene alone. She did it well. Yeah. Let's see. Anyway, so Kelsey now is starting to look uncomfortable realizing, you know,
01:13:57
Speaker
Yeah, okay, maybe I just came over here accusing you for no reason or whatever. And Connor tells Kelsey that they should leave. And Todd's like, is that what you do, Connor? Spend your whole life trying to ruin Wilson women. And Connor's like, it's an honest mistake and we'll let you finish your dinner. And he apologizes and he tries to get Kelsey to leave again when Todd says, yeah, just walk away. I hear that's what you're best at.
01:14:22
Speaker
And Connor starts like, okay. And then Kelsey now gets Connor to leave. She awkwardly apologizes and Todd, oh, she's like, sorry, sorry. And she starts to walk away and Todd gives her this like, I can't believe you'd accuse me of this kind of a look, just like. Disapproving. Yeah. And just keeps shaking his head and like. You're yucky, sir. Right. Sorry. Yeah.
01:14:50
Speaker
And I was over here like, I put my note like, I can't believe she thought you were having an affair when you were having dinner with a woman alone. Like, don't care the situation. Would not be comfortable with that going to dinner with a woman alone. Especially after seeing that note in the notebook. Yeah, exactly. But like, it doesn't matter. Context aside.
01:15:08
Speaker
you're having dinner with a woman and people are like oh well people are allowed to have friends. See what happens when that happens usually? When you're not being honest about that. Zach called me and said that one of his because he does have a few chick friends or whatever there's a couple I'd be like no you're not going to dinner but like because I don't want to say girlfriends but anyway if he was like oh I'm gonna go to dinner with Shannon I'd be like that's weird. Yeah.
01:15:30
Speaker
I'm like, what? Why are Tony and I not going? Yeah, I'm going to dinner with Shalise or Wendy. I'd be like, okay. Why am I not allowed to come? Like, why? Why? What are you planning? Where we go? Is it Brad's? Let me go. Like, just, you know? Like, it'd be like, I wanna come. Are we going to Sizzler? Yeah. I'll sit on a different table. I'm just, you know. Like, right behind them. Yeah. Okay. But like, I'd be okay with him going, if he told me. Yeah. But there's a few of you, I'll be like, no. You're sneaking. Exactly. You're sneaking around. Yeah.
01:15:59
Speaker
Yep. I don't know what's supposed to be a surprise or whatever, but anyway. Nah. Okay. We're good. This is long. Okay. The next day Kelsey is with her aunt again and they're both just like, just like the scene starts with them just sitting uncomfortably on this little tiny sofa couch and just like, okay.
01:16:15
Speaker
She's a little pouty and stuff and like whatever. And her aunt asks if she's trying to ruin her whole life or just this job. And I was like, why are we so concerned about this job? Like I didn't, because I didn't realize what was going on at first. I was like, I'm so worried about her and her job. Like I would be worried about someone's job, but like, yeah. And Kelsey asks if she brought her here to kick her while she's down and wants to know if Emily wants to kill her.
01:16:39
Speaker
And her aunt says no, she was able to convince Todd that Kelsey was under the spell of the handsome green eyes and had no idea what she was doing. Okay. I don't think Connor has green eyes, but not the point. I better. And I was like, but still, you were having dinner with a woman that none of us know. Yeah, be bad at Todd, not at Kelsey. Right? I mean, she could have walked up and been like, Todd, hey, who's this? Like, wait.
01:17:02
Speaker
All right, you're the first lady. You're the first lady. I didn't know you knew each other. Yeah. Something more casual. Something, yeah. It could have been more casual. However, I would have walked up and been like, the fuck, Todd? What is this? What is this? Yeah. Anyway, yeah, people shouldn't make assumptions. But at the same time, it's hard not to. It's hard not to. Especially when they need a thing. Thank you. I was just like, yeah, maybe just don't put yourself in those kind of situations. Yep. What? No saying.
01:17:29
Speaker
Anyway, Emily doesn't actually know that Kelsey accused Summer of anything. And her aunt says that Todd agreed to keep it between them. And I'm like, stop with the secrets. Stop with the secrets. It would have been so funny to be like, oh my gosh, Emily, I'm so stupid. Do you want to hear how stupid I am and how much I love you? Oh my hell, I thought Todd was cheating on you.
01:17:49
Speaker
and he found out he's not he's not thank goodness oh my gosh funny story you know just like yeah don't keep secrets secrets do not make friends secret secrets are no fun yeah
01:18:01
Speaker
Okay. Oh, and that they think in a few years they could probably all laugh about this and stuff, you know? So her aunt says that Connor is quite convincing. And while Kelsey is trying to tell her aunt that he's actually quite sweet and just, he's really actually funny and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, just, you know, kind of going off her aunt hands her a check stub. And she's like, what is this? And she says that her uncle,
01:18:25
Speaker
Wrote it 10 years ago to Connor to buy him off and that he'd give him money to leave Emily. Oh. Okay. I didn't mention that the uncle was dead. Sorry. He is. He is. I do mention that. I forgot. He is dead.
01:18:40
Speaker
And Connor took the money and Emily got her heart broken. And Kelsey is very confused about all of this. And her aunt picks up another check stub saying that her uncle had apparently written this one a few months before he died because apparently Connor came back and was extorting him for more money. And I'm like, extorting him from what? How is he doing? Like gonna say, you bought me off, like paying more money or else I'll tell the people? I don't fucking know. I don't know.
01:19:09
Speaker
So at the restaurant or whatever, the place, I was like, that's where I met. George's? George, yeah. Kelsey storms up to Connor and he smiles, he's like, oh, hey, you know, I was thinking of asking George to make Todd a fruit basket to apologize and stuff, right? And she slams
01:19:28
Speaker
the check stub down and he's like she sees that she's upset and he's like okay I'm sorry I probably could have tried to figure out who Michelle was before all this but I'm like bitch you didn't know but he was like she knew but she didn't tell you so like how were you gonna figure it out exactly so like he was like I probably should have tried to figure out who Michelle was and whatever but like so she slams the check stub down and he's like oh
01:19:53
Speaker
kind of like, oh shit. And he looks, yeah, stunned for a moment. And he's like, let me explain. And she's like, no, I can't believe that she let herself fall for him. And she knew he was using her and that she never wants to see him again. And he just keeps like, no, Kelsey, let me explain. And she's like, no, I don't want to hear it. Why do people do that? I don't know. Just.
01:20:13
Speaker
We hear him out. Just hear him out, right? So she leaves, leaving Connor upset. And she gets back to her apartment, loft thingy, ignoring a phone call from, I'm assuming him, because we don't see who it is. She then sits down, she stews for 20 seconds. I timed it. Oh gosh.
01:20:28
Speaker
And I don't know if they thought they were gonna, like if they told her, okay, voiceover here, like if that's, you know, because she then picks up her phone and she's trying not to cry as she texts her mom, all my life, I wish for a whirlwind romance. And now I'll use the remainder to wish I hadn't before she flops onto her bed, right? As if you had a whirlwind romance, bitch. Right? Like I don't. You didn't. No, that's not. You had a couple days with a man. I was like flirting in his band. That's weird. Anyway.
01:20:57
Speaker
So at the bar again, Connor approaches George and tells him that he might apply for that server position. I was like, well, server position, but whatever. And George tells him that he doesn't have the personality or looks for this fine establishment. Yeah. He does mention that earlier. Sorry. Oh, is that okay? Yeah. He's like, just hire somebody. Don't serve. Like, cause he, he's the only one like running and cooking the place. That would make sense. Yeah. Sorry.
01:21:18
Speaker
You're good. And then Connor says that he just doesn't know what to do, George. He blew the case and he ruined his relationship with Kelsey. And George says, well, aren't you guys just working together? And George says, fine, I'll say it. I think she's incredible. I couldn't even sleep last night because I knew I'd see her this morning. I'm like a kid at Christmas time. So George is like,
01:21:38
Speaker
You're adorable. It's up, right? And says, can I give you some advice? Just tell her the truth. I want to know how they're, sorry. I want to know how they are friends when Connor doesn't live here. He knew him from like 10 years ago, I guess. She went on spring break and met him there. I don't know. Okay.
01:22:00
Speaker
sorry anyway anyway but like george goes can i just give you some advice just tell her the truth bitch he was trying to i hate when they do that in movies where it's just like i don't want to hear it then they start them away and they're just like what do i do and this happens a lot in these kind of movies and they're just like
01:22:18
Speaker
Just tell her the truth. I tried. I was trying. Yeah. She would not let me explain. Thank you. In the moment, you know, maybe later. Yeah, I should calm down or whatever, but like. Probably not. So Connor agrees. Kelsey's texting her mom again. She's laying on her couch and she's like, I know you taught me to be strong and I know I am or I'm trying. If you were here, you'd tell me stupid men lose smart women and you'd stroke my hair till I fall asleep.
01:22:46
Speaker
well big day tomorrow love you muchly and then snuggles into her sofa to go to bed which i mean like sure sure i guess your bed is right there right literally like eight feet away yeah yeah again she goes to bed with all the lights on is she like also fully dressed like a crazy person she's like dressed in pj's okay snuggling in with her blanket and stuff and i'm like
01:23:09
Speaker
Go to bed, go to bed, turn the lights off. I mean, I've had a few nights where I've fallen asleep on the couch and Zach didn't want to wake me up and so he just went to bed or whatever. But like- No, that's different. That's a choice and it's weird. So the next day Kelsey is ordering people around at the church and they're setting everything up for the wedding when one of the bridesmaids, jealous bridesmaids walks up and she just gushes about how amazing everything looks. She's like, it's like a Christmas dream come true.
01:23:34
Speaker
What did you do? Go through my diary. Oh my gosh. And Kelsey was like, no. And the bridesmaid just walks away. And Todd walks past and Kelsey calls him over and she apologizes to him and he's like, she's done a great job and this looks like their dream wedding.
01:23:51
Speaker
And then he leaves. Kelsey gets a phone call from George and he tells her, she's like, oh hey George, hey I got a couple more people that actually want vegan something or other. And he goes, that's great, but it won't be happening. And she's like, excuse me, what are you saying right here? And he goes, well I heard that if you deliver bad news as positively as possible, the person takes it better.
01:24:12
Speaker
And she's like, what? And he's like, well, I won't be giving you any food because we had a freezer malfunction last night. Everything is ruined. And he's just like. And she's like, excuse me. And he's like, you better get over here. So she goes rushing over there, right? Why didn't you call me sooner, George? What the fuck?
01:24:31
Speaker
So she gets over there and he's like, hey, first of all, don't kill me. It wasn't my idea. And then Connor comes around the corner. And she's like, you lying little pooper. And then Connor's still standing there as George is like, but don't worry. I got the things that you wanted, like the non, like the vegan, the non-dairy. And she's like, George. And he just like walks away. But I'm like, you should not be talking to him like that. The way she talked to him was how like you would talk to somebody you've known for like,
01:25:01
Speaker
Yeah. Fucking 20 years, right? You've met him twice. Yeah. I'm like, I would maybe talk to Tony like that. Yeah. I would not be talking to someone. I literally have no idea who you are. No.
01:25:12
Speaker
No, I just, the way she talked to him was way too friendly. And like, while he's friendly and fun and inviting, I would have been like, bitch, excuse me? Like, you're just going to dismiss me by saying my name? Fuck off. Like, anyway, not the point. And he just, so Connor's standing there, right? And George hurries away and they just kind of stare at each other for a second. And she goes, is this why you brought me here? To stare at me awkwardly.
01:25:34
Speaker
And he goes, you're just so beautiful. And I'm like, she's wearing the most mediocre dress. I'll show you, I'll show it to you, okay? And she tells him, no, stop. You're not allowed to do that right now, right? And he's like, okay. And he hands over this like packet of paperwork and she's like, what's this? And he goes, that's the deed to this restaurant. And she's like, okay. And he explains that 10 years ago, George was going to lose the restaurant and he wanted to help him and his family out.
01:26:03
Speaker
So he took what he thought was a loan from Kelsey's uncle. What? Right. And she scoffs and he's like, it's all true. Um, but her uncle said that if he ever came back, he would tell Emily that Connor blackmailed him for the money. Okay. So who are we supposed to believe? You were the dead guy. Exactly. I'm like, you can't just, it's whatever. Okay.
01:26:26
Speaker
Right. And I was like, not sure how or what you would blackmail him with, but okay. Anyway, Kelsey wants to know why he didn't just explain that to Emily. And Connor says that family was so important to Emily and he didn't want to put her in a position where she'd have to pick one or the other. So he stayed away.
01:26:44
Speaker
Cause he's like, I didn't want her to think badly of her dad and like just, and I'm like, okay, that's. But also if you didn't think it was hush money, then why would she think that you knew he was paying you off? What do you mean? I have no idea. Okay. And she's like, well, what about the rest of the money? And he goes, well about that. And she's like, you know what? I don't want to hear it. I have to get back to the, I have to get back to the church. I've got stuff going on. And so she leaves, right?
01:27:12
Speaker
And I don't want you anymore is what she says. So back at the church, Kelsey tells the aunt that she never wants to see him again. They chatted for like a second, but it wasn't that important. And her aunt says, well, in three hours, your job will be done and we can drink all the wine at the reception. And they go, hmm. And like head touch, kind of like lean on each other kind of thing.
01:27:31
Speaker
And back at the restaurant, Connor is like cleaning off the counter and stuff. And a very pregnant woman walks in and hands out or like holds out his business card. And she's like, I was told I should come and talk to you. And he was like, oh, come with me. Right.
01:27:48
Speaker
Okay. So they go in the back at the church. I was like a fucking news reporter, but it's the, it's like the magazine lady comes up to Todd's parents saying she heard there's supposed to be a surprise musical performance. Can they speak to who that might be? And they just kind of like,
01:28:04
Speaker
And I thought for a second it was gonna be like in sync or something. Cause I didn't know about the mom singing. And I was like, who the fuck? It wasn't the puppy. And I was like, I would have been awesome. I almost started singing by street voice.
01:28:19
Speaker
You're shame. Shame, yes. Anyway, I was like, they look all high and mighty and stuff. And like, anyway, the bridesmaids from before, the jealous one, is helping everyone sit down, but ignores a bunch of them to sit this particularly handsome man down, because she, like, takes his hand, she's like, oh, I don't see a ring. Let me put you in the singles section and stuff, right? Okay. Anyway, and the wedding. So the bridesmaids and Kelsey walked down the aisle. Okay.
01:28:50
Speaker
What is this song? That's... Forest Green dresses. Oh, and they're wearing the same fur. What is she wearing? What is she wearing? What is she wearing? Is that not just the most mediocre? Matronly... Yeah, like... She's so... And then...
01:29:20
Speaker
There's more. Ears. Her dress. Yeah. Yeah.
01:29:30
Speaker
I strayed it for a sec. It was like why is she walking down the aisle buying herself? Oh, her dad's dead. Yeah, that was straight up my thought process. Backless. It looks awful. It looks so bad. And the ribbons on her bouquet. On red. Like I just- And sick. Yeah. Okay. No, no, no to all of that. No to all of that. Okay. I just approve.
01:29:53
Speaker
so but i didn't know what that song was that they were walking down i was like they literally sounds like the piano player was just like and i guarantee the wedding march is free there's some free canon in d yep it's free i'm sure use the music that exists right
01:30:09
Speaker
before that they were playing Christmas music too because it's Christmas Eve and stuff like it just so like I mean they were like what people were sitting and yeah and I was like that's fine and stuff but like you just randomly just start playing I just didn't understand any of that right so yeah and the news reporter of said the magazine lady was taking notes as she was walking down the aisle I was like what the fuck
01:30:32
Speaker
is the same because she's commenting on her damn outfit that's what she's doing she probably is anyway so they start the ceremony and it's a little um they do the whole like oh dearly beloved we are gathered here today if anyone has any reason why these two should not be married marriage marriage is what brings us together today yeah kind of stuff and like nobody says anything right so he goes
Wedding Fiasco and Surprise Proposal
01:30:57
Speaker
All right, uh, Connor, or not Connor, uh, uh, Todd. Todd, do you take, and then the door busts open. Oh, no. And Connor comes in and he goes, stop the wedding. Oh, God. Stop the wedding. No. As he, like, just comes to rise.
01:31:13
Speaker
Sonders in with his like slightly open button-up white shirt like he was planning on coming to the wedding anyway, and I was just like fuck off dude anyway, okay, and Todd's dad stands up and he's like good. I'm gonna fuck out of her Yeah, right so these other guys get up and they go to like usher him out and he's like yeah stop Emily He's no good for you, and I was like why are you saying it like that?
01:31:34
Speaker
Yeah! He's still in love with Emily kind of the way he says it, and I just didn't like it. Anyway, he's not right for you. He's not right for you, Zef. And they're like, what are you talking about? And he's like, if you're not going to listen to me, maybe you'll listen to her. And he turns and looks at the door as this very awkward pregnant woman walks in. She's like, hello, everyone. Because it's a wedding. Yeah.
01:31:54
Speaker
And she walks in and I was thinking that she didn't speak English or some shit. Like maybe that's why she was like, oh, okay. But now apparently she's, anyway, that's not the point. She's just awkward. She's just awkward. And I would also be awkward. I would just be like, hey, everyone. Anyway, so, okay. So they walk in, Emily's like, who is this woman? What is going on? And Todd's like, I don't, I've never even met this woman in my life. And Connor says, I think a blood test would prove that wrong. Oh no. Right?
01:32:23
Speaker
And they go back and forth for a second or whatever, but apparently this is Todd's parents' maid, Veronica. And they fired her when she found out that she was, that Todd was the baby's father, right? And Emily is heartbroken and Todd was like, dad? But his dad obviously kind of like, he's like, get them out of here, whatever. And Aunt Olivia stands up and she's like, oh, hush up, I don't remember his name. She's like, you can't strong arm your way out of this one. I was like, okay.
01:32:53
Speaker
That's fine. And Emily is just like, she's like, Todd, what is going on? Like this, tell me you don't know this, like, you know? And he's like, Emily, don't let this ruin us. And she's like, are you kidding me? I mean, this had to have happened in the past.
01:33:10
Speaker
At least handful of months. Yeah. And I mean, she looks like she's going. Um, from, I think what I understand though, is that he got the maid pregnant, left her and then met Emily. So they've only been together for less than nine months. I think so. I'm not entirely sure. They just said, Oh, you left her and then decided to go off and get married or something. Like I just, I don't know. Okay.
01:33:36
Speaker
I don't know. Emily rushes out and Kelsey chases after her. She like throws the bouquets at Todd and like takes off and Todd flips his tie over his shoulder as he's like you as he starts going for Connor and Aunt Olivia sticks her foot out and trips him. And she's like, I think you just need to stay focused on taking care of that baby.
01:33:57
Speaker
Outside, Emily is sitting on a bench. There's snow all over the ground. She's sitting there with literally that dress on and stuff, right? Kelsey comes out wearing her bright red coat and doesn't bring a coat for Emily.
01:34:10
Speaker
Oh, that's so nice. And then just sits out in the snow. What a wedding planner. Right? Jeez, bitch. What a maid of honor. Bad cousin is all I'm saying. Just anyway. So Emily says that she feels stupid and Kelsey tells her that she's not stupid. She's the best person she knows. And Emily's still in shock or whatever because she's just like...
01:34:28
Speaker
she probably knew in her heart of hearts something was going on and she says that she's supposed to be getting married and having kids and Emily or Kelsey's like you still have all those things you just need to find the right guy and not let one bad guy ruin that for you and stuff like that and they hug a little and Emily says well what about you what are you gonna do about Connor bitch no no we're talking about you right now your life just got upended like and she literally takes all of that and is just like
01:34:56
Speaker
Whatever. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about you. Like, just anyway. I mean, that's what I would do. But like, she's not even like devastated. I would be devastated. And Kelsey's like, well, I have no idea and we should just go to Mexico. And Emily's like, I love that idea. But anyway, Emily then apologizes about the wedding and how she works so hard.
01:35:21
Speaker
She's like, I'm so sorry this happened to you, Kelsey. Okay. The wedding was still beautiful.
01:35:30
Speaker
Bitch, no! Like, she's like, I'm sorry this got ruined. Like, your life got ruined. Your life, babe. My wedding still went off. Yeah, exactly. Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. So, anyway. And Kelsey's like, no, stop. You're my sister. I'd do anything for you, you know? And Connor comes outside then, and Emily says that she's gonna give them a moment to chat. And then she walks up past Connor and tells him that he better have the best Christmas present ever.
01:35:56
Speaker
He gives her a small smile and then Kelsey goes up to, or he goes up to Kelsey and tells her that it was her uncle, Emily's father, that hired him to investigate Todd before he died. What? Yeah. That's what the extra money was for that. Second check stub was to investigate. How long has he been dead? I have no idea.
01:36:15
Speaker
Okay. I have no idea, right? Anyway, but he said that her uncle didn't think there was something right about Todd. And he said that one dirt bag would be the best at finding another dirt bag. And he goes, I think he was right. And she's like, you're not a dirt bag. Anyway, he apologizes and tells her that he loves her. And they- No. Yeah. No. And they also, they keep-
01:36:36
Speaker
I think they had to refilm a couple of these scenes because they show them sitting out on the outside of this church or whatever the stone wall behind them and occasionally she's just like standing there and it's very green screen behind her and then like a couple of times like he's standing there next to her green screen behind it's stupid I don't know but other times they're standing there and you can tell there's distance between them and the wall like it just yeah it was anyway okay not the point I just thought that was a little silly
01:37:02
Speaker
Okay, when they kiss and they're interrupted by Emily and her aunt being like, he's like peeking out and they're like, oh, sorry, we didn't hear anything. And they hurry over and they're like, well, we're sorry for misjudging you, Connor and stuff. And Kelsey says, well, this is gonna just, I don't know where Kelsey's like, well, this is gonna be the craziest Christmas in family history. I've successfully planned my first wedding or my first and last wedding ever. It's weird to think when I look back on this, it'll be the best and worst memories together.
01:37:32
Speaker
So you're going to not be a wedding planner anymore? I guess not. I don't fucking know. I have no idea. Like, okay. And she's like, well, I'm going to go tell everyone that the Grinch stole Christmas. And Emily's like, no, no, I'll do that. You don't have to do that. Like it's everybody saw, right? Like who doesn't know? And I was like, I'll do it. And I was like, girl, you were the one who just had your heart broken.
01:37:53
Speaker
She doesn't care apparently. Apparently she does not in the science, right? And her aunt goes, no, I'm head of the family. I'll do it. And Connor says, why don't you ask them all to stay? I'm sorry. Do not say what you're about to say to me right now. He then gets down on one fucking knee.
01:38:14
Speaker
And Kelsey's like, ah! And Emily and the aunt are like, ah! Right, like. Same, what? And Kelsey goes, you can't do this, we barely know each other. Yeah, that. And her aunt, like, Connor looks over at her aunt and she goes, oh, pulls off her own wedding ring and tosses it to him. Sorry. He didn't even go get his own ring. Okay, he stands up.
01:38:40
Speaker
You might as well take the ring off of Emily's finger. Right, exactly. Like, pass it over. So he stands up and he looks down at her and he says, if you'll let me, I'd like to spend a lifetime fixing that. You hardly know me. I'd like to spend a lifetime fixing that. No. That's what you do first. Is this Vegas? What are you talking about? Like...
01:39:07
Speaker
Okay. They then go inside. No. And she's wearing a fucking wedding dress. I don't know where she got it. Maybe it's the family wedding dress. Oh, maybe. Cause it's like, did you see what it was? I think it was like Lacey, like long sleeve. Yeah, long sleeve Lacey. Just cut. Yeah. Okay. She's got to be wearing the family wedding dress then. Cause I was like,
01:39:30
Speaker
what is happening right so her her cousin is still in her wedding dress being her maid of honor and her aunt is standing on his side like the best man or whatever okay and Kelsey's voiceover oh the
01:39:45
Speaker
the officiant, bless his heart, is just like, should we try this again? Okay, Dearly Beloved. Right? And then it's like, they're just staring at each other lovingly while Kelsey's voiceover goes over. And she says, well, mom, I planned a wedding and then I hijacked it with permission, of course. And then they show Emily just being like,
01:40:03
Speaker
The angel that she is. The absolute angel that is literally too good for every single person in this universe. She needs to just ascend to heaven. There needs to be a sequel of this one in particular where she actually gets the guy. Where she's happy.
01:40:19
Speaker
Right. Anyway, um, it's just, and then I hijacked it with permission, of course. And I'm not sure where I'm headed and it's terrifying, but I know that I'll have all the love to guide me and that love is unconditional. And then she throws her bouquet over her shoulder and Emily catches it. Emily? Emily catches it. I was like, she was getting, anyway, not the...
01:40:44
Speaker
As the credits roll, Connor carries Kelsey into, I think, her apartment. I'm not sure. They open a door and it's just like Christmas lights everywhere, but you don't get to see what's in the room. It's just, you just see that there's lights shining and they look like Christmasy lights and stuff, right? Like, you know, he planned this. I have no idea. I have no idea. Like, rose petals? Or is it supposed to be Emily's, like, anniversary, like, room, honeymoon room?
01:41:20
Speaker
So many of the reviews talked about how the ending just ruined everything. And so I was like, what are we leading up to? Like something bad is gonna happen. What the fuck? That video I sent you where I was like, that's what that was. I understand. Yeah.
01:41:41
Speaker
straight up when he was like, well, maybe you don't have to ask him to leave. I was like, ah! No. No. No. I started each other like two weeks. Max. Max. Maximum. Yeah.
01:41:57
Speaker
okay and just fuck off emily just be my maid of honor emily what the frick frack were they thinking i have no idea i want to know how the book ends all right i want to go read the book um what
01:42:13
Speaker
I love how this is one of like the most shocking things we've had. I think though I'm like, yeah, that's very much like a Hallmark Christmas movie. What is it? But uh, but uh, you know. Like it could have just been like, I want to spend some time fixing that. No, I want to marry you right now.
Reflections on Love and Chaos
01:42:30
Speaker
Right now. Right now. Give me your ring, bitch. What? Yeah. I mean, I love the aunt there at the end when she was like, oh yeah, there you go.
01:42:43
Speaker
You know, she's awesome, but. I guess. Your daughter just got her heart broken. Yeah. Let me hijack your wedding. We booked the church anyway. I just, George is here with his food. We might as well party. What? Mm-hmm.
01:43:00
Speaker
So, I don't, I still, okay. That aside, I still don't know if it is a 4.4. That seems a little low. Like it's quirky and it's dumb and it's dumb. But funny enough, most of the acting was pretty decent.
01:43:18
Speaker
It was cheesy. It was cheesy. But like Hallmark cheesy. Yeah, but like the cheesy that you expect for these kind of movies. Yeah, exactly. And it was like, it was at what? Honestly, I liked Kelsey. I thought she was adorable. Yeah. In a good way. Yeah. Not in the weird, bad way that a lot of them tend to be. Yeah. But like, maybe she's horrible. She had some moments. She may have been worse at the beginning of the movie, but she was, she wasn't clumsy or weird or anything towards the end. She was just like, yeah, you know, it was just a lot of that, like,
01:43:46
Speaker
Mm-hmm the face whatever she was doing and I just yeah, whatever dude. Okay. So what would you rate it then? I would give it like a 5.4 or something like I would give it like a whole yeah, I think so too so like it was well filmed. Yes Acting was fine. Mm-hmm storyline. Well, what the fuck right? I don't was he a PI. Oh
01:44:08
Speaker
before the dad hired him? Yeah. He's like, I knew you were a PI or heard that he was a PI and when dirtbag can find another dirtbag. And I'm like, I would have been like, fuck you, sir. Yeah. Like you can keep your money. Yep. I already have the first batch. If he'd been like, and I, he's like, I already broke Emily's heart. I didn't want her to see her heart broken again. Like I would have been like, that would have been way cuter of a line or whatever. And just like, even though I don't have feelings for her anymore, like I still just did this for her. Yeah. Like something like that. I just, what the fuck ever.
01:44:35
Speaker
But also, did Todd need to be a bad guy? I don't think so. I mean, what else would have brought him in here? Just the thought that he could be doing something bad, but he's actually not? Yeah, because I mean, think about it. Emily clearly is from a very influential family. They have money and whatnot.
01:44:58
Speaker
And I would be suspicious of anyone that was trying to marry my daughter all of a sudden, clearly within this many months because... So you must have died recently. Recently, yeah. You know? And I would have been suspicious too if my daughter was suddenly getting married to this guy that I barely know or whatever. I probably would also have investigated if I had the money to do that, just to be like, go investigate this guy.
01:45:20
Speaker
I really wanted it to be, Todd was actually a really nice guy. Emily was gonna be happy and Emily was just like, hey, why don't you have a wedding with me kind of a thing? Or we watched them get married. And she catches the bouquet. Yeah, and Todd, or in Connor's standing there being like.
01:45:35
Speaker
yeah exactly you know yeah not let's fucking get married yeah and your wedding is ruined and your life sucks what like why did he have to be a bad guy also who directed pregnant woman to go talk to connor i don't know because it very much seemed like the servers that were there like weren't there full time they were just like catering this party i have no idea but maybe they were like staff because he gave them all cards and stuff yeah but
01:46:02
Speaker
Still, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I just, I really wanted like Todd to be an actually good guy. Like, why would that have been so hard? Right. We were going that direction. Yeah. And then it was like, right. Yep. Connor being like, Oh, I'm sorry. You know, like I was just trying to do my job and just, you know, like, it wasn't anything. And I didn't want to tell you, but it was your uncle that hired me and stuff. Like, and, you know, and she could have been like, well, you could have just told me that from the beginning or whatever. And then they could have had their little,
01:46:31
Speaker
moment. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I think that could have been way better. Just why couldn't Emily be happy? Why can't we just ruin, not ruin Emily's life? Like, and I get that like the Hallmark movies, there's always a bad guy, but that there have to be a bad guy. No, there really didn't. There really didn't. No. Todd could have been a great guy who just had some weird parents talking about boats and shit. Yeah. Like. But he, they would have had to get a different actor because he was just scummy. Yeah. He was a little weird. Yeah. Yeah. He gave off those vibes.
01:47:00
Speaker
I don't know, I just really wanted, like, why can't Emily be happy? Just really, just going for Emily. She was so real, she was amazing! She was, she was adorable. And then towards the end she was just like, well, oh well. Yeah. Oh, poor girl. I know, I'm like, straight up was like, straight up was like, well, I dated Connor like 10 years ago and yeah, he absolutely broke my fucking heart or whatever, but like,
01:47:26
Speaker
Oh well. Oh well. I want you to be happy Kelsey. I'm always on your side. Yeah. And then they caught an asshole. Yeah. But now she can marry someone else. Cause she caught the bouquet.
01:47:42
Speaker
I'm surprised freaking jealous bridesmaid didn't like go to the flower down. I don't think she was there. I didn't think anyone else was there. It was just like, it was the two. I don't know. Emily's not getting married. Goodbye. Well, the five of them with the officiant, but it only showed them like, Oh.
01:47:57
Speaker
so anyway it's late yeah we've been going on for a while that was a wild ass ride though holy shit i'm kind of glad we did that one that was fun i'm glad you picked that one it's on netflix for a few more days friends if you want to go see it so yeah there you go yep we hope you enjoyed yeah merry christmas merry christmas have a great time have a great time
01:48:22
Speaker
Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode. Let us know what you think by leaving a comment or sending us an email at bmoviebashpodcast at gmail.com. You can listen to our episodes on all your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Stitcher, Google, Apple, Amazon Music, and Audible, or you can find the video versions on our YouTube channel. If you want to support the podcast, you can find our coffee link on our anchor page. Make sure to like, subscribe, and tell your friends!
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Speaker
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