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The 3rd Guest | B-Movie Bash! | #JY S3E27
64 Plays1 year ago
"A husband and wife ghost-hunting team, still mourning the loss of their daughter, encounter her in their latest assignment." Sounds like a pretty interesting plot, right? Too bad this is the most vague description of this poorly acted unhinged movie with no real plot. This movie is only rated a 2.1 and it SHOWS.
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Transcript
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Introduction and Podcast Dynamics
00:01:12
Speaker
Go to wearewild.com and use code judging you at checkout. Enjoy!
00:01:33
Speaker
Hello, everybody.
Cream Cheese Making and Survival Shows
00:01:34
Speaker
Hello. My name is Shannon. All right, well, listen. Did you know that cream cheese is made from curdling milk and then blending the curdled milk? Why'd you have to ruin cream cheese? I'm not ruining it. That sounds delicious. No. Yeah. So you take the milk, you boil it, OK? Get the curdles. Yeah. You put the lemon juice in it so it curdles, OK? And then you take the curdles and you drain it from all the liquid that comes out, you know, like the butter milky stuff, OK? And then you blend that with a little bit of salt and then there's cream cheese.
00:02:02
Speaker
That makes it sound gross. I know, but it looks delicious. But then you eat cream cheese. I do. It's great. But I don't want to know that. Yeah, but that's what it is. I don't want to kill my own chicken either. Oh, I know. I wouldn't kill my own chicken. I've been watching alone and... I don't know what that is. It's okay. So it's people, they get dropped off in the middle of... Probably naked and afraid kind of thing. But yeah, but they have equipment and stuff and it's trying to see who can survive the longest and... With equipment? With equipment.
00:02:31
Speaker
So they, well, there's some where they get dropped off with nothing. So like they like the clothes on their backs. That's it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But they're by themselves completely alone. I mean, they're on an island with other people, but like they're by themselves and stuff. And so essentially, anyway, chicken. Um, they have to like keep catching birds and the funniest thing is I'm sitting there and they're like, oh yeah, I caught a fish like, get that fish.
00:02:53
Speaker
And they're like, ah, I gotta, you know, like, break its spine or cut off its head or whatever real quick so it doesn't suffer it. I'm like, mm, you did that. Yeah, cut the head off. And the one guy's like, I caught a bird. And I was like, oh. Yeah, or like when they do that with like rabbits and stuff, like, oh. Yeah. So far, none of them have caught a rabbit.
00:03:09
Speaker
Well rabbits are very fast.
Podcast Chemistry and Humor
00:03:11
Speaker
They are very fast but oh fucking they had one so they had this one these two brothers they were like yeah we caught a fish today it was really awesome they're just standing there by their fire talking about how they caught a fish and this fucking bird called a teal walks up to them just walks up they've got their fire and everything there's fire burning they're just standing there talking and this bird just like walks up and is like stop and they are like and it just died like they just
00:03:35
Speaker
oh i thought you were gonna say that it stole their fish no no it just walked up to them and they were like dead and they killed it and they were like hey we got the bird and they ate the bird and i was like cool cool okay but they just walked right up it was just like they probably smelled the fish stop bitches yeah but like anyway
00:03:54
Speaker
Anyway, welcome back to another episode. Hashtag judging you. I don't know how that fun fact went from curdled cheese milk. You said kill a chicken. Right. You can't say things to Alyssa. You can't say things. If this is your first episode.
00:04:12
Speaker
Hi there. Shit is weird like this all the time. I've got a lot of weird energy I'm overstimulated and you guys are gonna hear the shit so show shit show of a movie I just watched yeah because it's
00:04:32
Speaker
Oh gosh. So yeah, it's been a while. It's been a, yeah. We're only, I don't know, we never said this out loud. I hope yes not. That we're only recording and posting every other week right now for a little while. So we go for two weeks without seeing each other. Yeah. So when we get together. It's a lot of energy. It's so silly. Cause like we message each other every day. It's different. It's different. Yeah. We're different in person. We need to go shopping more together though. We do. We do.
00:05:00
Speaker
Okay. So movie time. Let's get through this. Okay. Happy Valentine's Day. Get out of here, fucking security system. Things keep popping up on my screen. Go away.
00:05:17
Speaker
Oh my god. This is gonna be fun. Also, hi Catherine, hi Mark. I didn't know they listened. Thanks guys. Anyway, I just messaged her the other day because I was thinking about her and I was like, hi. And we just started talking and she was like, Mark, he's asking me when the next episode's coming out. I was like, aw.
00:05:35
Speaker
So sweet. Yeah, he calls it the Alyssa and Shannon show, I think. I think that's what I understood from from the text. But are you ready for a joke? Yeah. Okay. What do you call children that are born in a whore house? That's a good one. That's a good one. Brothel sprouts. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:06:01
Speaker
Where did you hear that? That was on one of those, like, the challenges where if you laugh, you have to take a shot or something. Gotcha. Yeah. So. Imagine you'd be dead. Oh, yeah. Fuck it. You'd be dead. Everything is funny. I don't care what anyone says. Especially if I brought, like, puns to the table. Oh, yeah. Well, we're 10 minutes into this already. So. And this is a doozy. I don't think any of you are ready for 2B's 2023.
00:06:28
Speaker
Two out of 10. Oh my God. The third guest. Okay. Okay. Oh, hold on. Hold on. I got to show you. I got to cry. Okay. Let me show you. This has nothing to do with the movie at all. No, not in this light. You see that house? Yeah. You see that gorgeous ass house? I sure do. You see that gorgeous ass two story? Look how much I'm just walking down in the middle of the woods. Yeah. Her and that red coat with the lantern.
00:06:58
Speaker
No? No. None of that matters. Okay? Okay. None of it matters. I should have taken a picture of what the fucking house actually looks like, because it's not that. Why do they... I don't understand. Like, just get a still from the movie that you made. Exactly! And make it into the poster. I think they couldn't, because I am 8,000% sure that it was a B&B, that they, like, an Airbnb that they rented for a weekend so they could film this movie. Couldn't you, like, buy, like, pay them? You know what I mean? Yeah.
00:07:26
Speaker
You pay them for a picture of their house? I don't think so. You're using it for the movie, so why wouldn't you be able to use it for promotional things? I guess that's true. I don't fucking know. Anyway, but this gorgeous ass house is not okay. That's how when we did Grim Woods last week, they had a killer clown on the poster that had like an axe or something he was holding. That's not what Freak Show looked like at all.
00:07:49
Speaker
Nope. So like what? Who is this clown? Right? Okay. Anyway, no idea. So stupid. Oh, here it is. That's what it looks like. That's the cabin they're in. Okay? Okay. All right. Let's do this. Okay. We're jumping right in. Okay. Okay. A husband and wife ghost hunting team still mourning the loss of their daughter encounter her in their latest assignment.
00:08:14
Speaker
oh okay okay okay dang it i wish this went well i wish that was the plot of this movie i really wish that do they encounter her yes are they ghost hunters yes is there an assignment yes
00:08:31
Speaker
Are they still mourning the loss of her? She is. They don't really show if he's allowed to mourn or not. We'll get there. We'll get there. The camera pans over some really beautiful landscaping while the credits play for like a full fucking minute and a half, right? Oh, I forgot. I don't know if this was uncorked or whatever. I don't think it was. I was just thinking about that. Yeah, I don't think it was.
00:08:52
Speaker
Uncorked has some kind of integrity. Do they though? This is not. Okay. Okay. So we're suddenly met with Evie, Kenneth, and Hart Kenneth. Okay? Okay. Happily introducing themselves as a writer and a photographer. And we want to believe you, they say cheerily. And some semi-spooky credits start to roll.
00:09:18
Speaker
as it's like an introduction to like, it's like ghost adventures, where there's kind of spooky stuff, where there's like a hand pulling across the wall, and flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, and like spooky little doll or whatever, you know? The silhouette. Yeah, and things, right? But it's playing like a 90s rap music in the back. There's no like words exactly, but it's just like the beat, and you're just like, yeah, uh, uh, yeah, uh.
00:09:46
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, uh, uh, like that's... That's the vibe. That's the vibe, okay? Okay. And in the background, they're talking about, or there's a narrator that is talking about how this couple distraught over the tragic loss of their daughter. And I'm mad, I should have filmed this part for you. I filmed a later part, but I forgot to film this part. Shows a picture of the three of them and stuff, right? Okay. And Evie is white and Hart is black. That doesn't super matter to the plot. Not that big of a deal. Just...
00:10:16
Speaker
pointing it out because there's like two things that they say about it later, but that's it. There's really nothing other than he's probably just the guy they hired, right? Okay. And he did pretty okay. Anyway, so they show a picture of the three of them together with their daughter who does not look like him in the slightest, who he's not her father. So, oh, okay. But, yes. So yeah, the tragic loss of their daughter and they show the picture and then they show the daughter like fading to gray. So like, you know, you're like, oh, that's sad. And then it puts a giant fucking red X over her face and goes, brrrr!
00:10:47
Speaker
What? Yeah, okay. All right, okay. Anyway.
00:10:55
Speaker
So some guy keeps narrating about how they search for lost souls and hope that someday of finding their dead daughter and stuff, when suddenly Evie angrily says, shut that off, turn it off, right? So they turn it off really quick. And it's the trailer that they started for not a YouTube channel, they're writers, they write books. And their producer or their publisher, whoever he is, made them a trailer.
00:11:24
Speaker
Okay. It was the most disrespectful thing in the fucking world considering their daughter is dead. So. Yeah, exactly. I was like, fucking shit. It was a big ass red X over her face.
00:11:38
Speaker
Okay, that's awful. So the two of them are quite upset and Arne tells them that the only reason their ghost stories sell is because dead daughter. And they're like, what the fuck? That's so, blah, blah, blah. That is not why they got into this. And Arne tells the secretary to leave so that he can talk to the two of them after some floozy walks past and like waves. She's not important. They've spent way too long talking about this girl when they shouldn't have. She was like, oh, is she single? And he's like, yeah. And she's like, how do you know that?
00:12:07
Speaker
like okay because he asked i don't know just fucking worry about yourself anyway he tells them um that he'll see them at their book signing later right okay so later the two are sitting behind a table at a small basically empty bookstore good right there's no one coming for a book signing even though this is book seven
00:12:24
Speaker
of their like book series and apparently they've done really well so far like people are loving the books but like no one's here for them. How many ghost hunts are you going on to find your dead daughter and writing books about? And they're like solid books they're like they're like chapter
00:12:39
Speaker
thicker than this okay okay anyway so their secretary walks up and asks them who should already know this when the book signing starts heart says 45 minutes ago and they haven't had a single person come in right just then an asian woman walks in not that it matters um but she just happens to be asian and i have to specify that because you see her later on okay and so like it's the
00:13:02
Speaker
The Asian woman that you see, yeah. She walks in and looks kind of like skittish and doesn't want to come over. So the secretary rushes over to her and she's like, oh hi, are you here for the book signing this way? And like brings her over. And she eagerly hands him a book asking for Evie to sign it. Not for Hart, because I guess Hart didn't write this one. So it was just Evie that wrote this one. It was before she and Hart got together or something, or before he helped with the books and stuff, right?
00:13:24
Speaker
But it's book seven? No, it's, uh, she hands her book one. She hands her a book that, um, was like before and stuff. And Evie's like, wow, I haven't seen this book in a very long time and stuff, right? And the woman is just so excited. She's like, oh, so she's like, oh yeah, what, what name would you like me to like sign it out to? And she says, Faith, that was your daughter's name too, wasn't it? And she's like, uh, okay. She's like, I really wanted you to sign this one. And Evie is like,
00:13:52
Speaker
Yeah, sure, okay. And the woman enthusiastically says that she loves this book. The woman was so strong. Why did you delete your blog? Like, she's desperate to know why this woman and stuff. And Evie explains that she had put too much personal information there, like her daughter's name it.
00:14:09
Speaker
I thought for a second that because of her blog, someone had kidnapped and killed her daughter or something, right? Like she had had all this information because she says, I put too much personal information out there. Like my daughter's name and stuff. And I was like, oh, were you putting like the city you lived in, maybe the school she went to or something? And maybe she got kidnapped and killed. And that's why...
00:14:29
Speaker
I wish. Need closure. That would have been good. Anyway, so yeah, the woman tells Evie that it wasn't her fault and I was like, okay, so yeah, dead kidnapped daughter, right? Yeah, sure. No, but no. But Evie is really too shook and she gets up and she leaves, right? And she goes outside where Hart and Arne are talking and he's just, she's, I'm never doing this again. Never doing a book signing again and
00:14:52
Speaker
heart was like, whoa, what's going on? She's like, can we just leave? Can we just go? And he's like, okay, babe, okay, let me get in the car. And so he gets in the car and stuff, right? And Arne comes running over and he's like, wait, I just got a call from somebody telling him that they have a job and this woman is willing or is about to die and is willing to pay double for them to come out there.
00:15:09
Speaker
And I'm like, you're getting paid to go out there? To go out where? Did you want it? Did you get paid to ghost hunt? No. Do people pay you to say, hey, come out to my place, write a book about it, tell people it's haunted so I get more bookings coming out here? That's weird.
00:15:24
Speaker
That's weird. Yeah. But that's what happens for them. They get paid to go ghost hunt at these places, write spooky stories about it, and then the places blow up because people want to go to these haunted places. Okay. Which I'm like, lies. They're all lies. You're writing lies to these people. But my favorite thing too is that this is book seven of you guys ghost hunting. Okay? Do you not believe in ghosts?
00:15:50
Speaker
Have you, in your seven books, found a ghost? Have they not? I don't know. I have no idea. Do they explain that at all? Do they at any point say like, oh, well, Evie's a little sensitive and stuff. You know, like she can, she can sense things and stuff or whatever, or like, no, heart totally has visions and blah, blah, blah. Nothing. Nothing. They just ghost hunt. I mean, they're looking for her daughter. Sure. But you're telling me you've written seven books and we did not find my daughter in this case. But we did find other ghosts.
00:16:20
Speaker
We sat in silence for seven hours. And then we heard a tap on the wall. Y'all could have been the bird that flew in the window, but nobody cares. Like, I should write some books. You should, you should get famous and shit. Anyway, he's like, oh, they're, they're totally willing to pay double for you guys to go out there.
00:16:38
Speaker
And Hart is like, yeah, absolutely. Like, fuck yeah, let's go. Let's go out there. And Eva's like, I really don't want to go. I don't want, I'm tired. This has been a long day. I'm done, right? But Arne is like, this is a lot of money, Evie. And it's, and it's in this one place. And she's like, that's three hours from here. That's going to fucking Vegas.
00:16:55
Speaker
It's not that far. It's not that far. No. And so, but she's making a big fucking, and yeah, she's probably a little tired. She got fucking weirded out by this fucking lady over here and stuff, right? But Hart is like, Evie, we need the money. And I was like, do you? You're a book seven. Yeah. Seven book publisher. I guess that's true. But I'm just like, here's the thing though. Who's the one making bad business decisions? Or is it because your books aren't selling or because this guy keeps publishing your books that suck? Yeah.
00:17:21
Speaker
or making these awful trailers. Yeah. Because I wouldn't buy that book. No, absolutely not. It was ridiculous. Anyway, so eventually she annoyed, reluctantly agrees. And as they drive, she starts telling Hart about the encounter and they absolutely only had one microphone and it was on Hart.
00:17:37
Speaker
It was like a little echoey because obviously they're in a car and they're driving so you can hear the driving and you can hear her just kind of like yeah and then I was oh you know and hearts like yeah absolutely Evie that makes absolute sense Evie yeah like
00:17:56
Speaker
Anyway, not the whole point. She's just telling her about the drive and everything. And Hart is like, you just can't let her get to you, Evie. I know she really shook you up and that really sucks, but don't let her get to you. She's just a weird lady. She's fucking weird. Ignore her. Forget about it.
00:18:13
Speaker
But as her driving, Evie starts having flashbacks of them playing with their daughter and looking through some, like, it's weird. They show her driving. She has a flashback of them, like, playing with her and they're doing a couple of things. And then they show Evie sitting at a computer. And so I thought, oh, okay, they got where they were going. And so now she's sitting there being like,
00:18:33
Speaker
Click click clicking through photos. Okay of her daughter that are clearly photoshopped. It's like her in front of weird apartment buildings in LA her in front of a weird beach in LA or something, you know, like LA So it is
00:18:51
Speaker
It was just weird. Also, the thing I think is really weird about these movies is because they didn't want, they don't want to get younger actresses to play like a two year old or whatever. They just have the child, the age they are when they die or whatever. And they're just like, yeah, there's no flashbacks of like, oh, me being a little mom. I mean, they do have a flashback of their winter baby. And this seven year old and this seven year old. Yeah.
00:19:13
Speaker
That's the only photos they have in the house. There's no baby photos. There's maybe a pregnancy photo because they can stop a pillow up there real quick and take a photo. But there's nothing else. I just think that's weird. Good movies will show the mom looking at the two-year-old, stumbling towards her, taking the first steps, and then a five-year-old riding a bicycle. They show those.
00:19:36
Speaker
For as much weird extra shit as they put in this movie, they could have shown that. They could have shown her being like, oh, my little baby. She was like, baby. Do you look at Adam and think he's fucking almost six? No, we don't need to talk about that. You know? No, you look at him like he's an infant, right? Like he's a little toddler. He is my baby. He's a baby, you know? And I just... Hold on, I have a question before you continue. Okay. He is not the dad. No. Do we know how long he's been in her life?
00:20:03
Speaker
in their lives. I don't know how long the daughter's been dead for but they say at one point like a couple of years. I mean seven books worth. Yeah apparently. But my question is if they have a family picture of her at heart and child but only she wrote the first book about ghost hunting? I don't know if the first book was about ghost hunting. They never specify what the first book is about. It's just the first book and so. But we don't know if it's the first of seven or if it's just
00:20:32
Speaker
or if it's just a book that she wrote, like how 1408 has a book that was not about him being ghost hunter, it was just a book. Like I'm thinking that's what they were going for was that she just wrote a book and then, I don't, I don't entirely know, but apparently Hart has been around for at least a couple of years. So Evie has some flashbacks of them playing blah, blah, blah, but they show her sitting at a laptop looking through these photos.
00:20:56
Speaker
And then they show her back in the car having more flashbacks. So I don't know why they needed it to be necessary to show her like sitting in a laptop, clicking through photos. Like just show the photos. Just show the photos. They literally could have just like had like a flashback of a house and there's photos on the mantle or on the wall of her doing, you know, they literally could have just like slowly panned over these photos and just like, oh,
00:21:23
Speaker
Oh man, you know. But technology wins over everything and you just sit there through. Click, click, click, click, click. Okay. So, oh, and then there's the day that Faith died and she's at the lake and I think Faith's father is in the background. Okay. He's fishing. I want to say that's who it is. Okay. You never specify it, but I don't know why there would be this random guy fishing with them and they're like hanging out of the lake. Anyway.
00:21:47
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So Eve or not. Yeah. Evie is on the phone with Arn and talking about her book. So I think, yeah. So she wrote the book before she had got with her. Okay. Um, and she's talking and Faith is walking next to her just being like, mom, mommy, mommy, mom. She's also like nine or 10. And I, I think children at five needs to stop being like mommy. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, you're correct.
00:22:12
Speaker
i was just gonna say girls that like that age in general fucking suck oh they do yeah i hate them but she's just like mommy mommy and i'm like shut the fuck up shut you could be like a mom mom mommy like that's different or like you know certain circumstances exactly yeah like especially if there's like a turmoil or whatever and they're
00:22:33
Speaker
devastated and they're upset and they're like mommy like that's you know that's so different yeah like fucking a 17 year old when they do that in movies when there's like a moment where they're just like mom mommy like those that gets me that fucking gets me but when you're actively constantly mommy mommy
00:22:50
Speaker
mommy mommy you sound like a spoiled fucking brat to me okay it's fine i think some people still prefer it they like being mommy and stuff they don't like being mom they like being mommy i don't know i've never called that actually no that i think you never called your mommy he calls me mama mama see that's cute i'm fine with mama that's okay yeah because it's it's a little more endearing it's not bratty if that makes any sense so like anyway
00:23:12
Speaker
Evie's on the phone and she's getting annoyed because Faith keeps like, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy and stuff. And she's just like, Faith, stop it. I'm on the phone. And then she looks down and Faith is passed out on the ground, just like fully collapsed. And she's like, oh no. And like drops down to pick her up and she's like, Faith, help, somebody help. And you can hear on the phone being like, what? Evie, what? You need help? Where are you? Evie, what are you doing? I'll get your help.
00:23:36
Speaker
So he's just like yelling at the phone and she's like, hey, help. And that went on way too long. And then they show her in a hospital before flash or flashing back to them in the car driving. Okay. So Evie pulls over distraught. She needs a moment, but heart is like, do you need me to drive for a minute? And she's just like, and like gets out of the car and like storms away. Well, she's, she parks. Okay. And he's like, do you want me to drive for a little bit? Like you want to switch? Yeah. And she's like,
00:24:05
Speaker
And he's like, are you hungry? Maybe do you want it? Like he's obviously trying to help and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on in her head right now. So he's just talking and she's like, what are you even talking about right now? And he's like, I just thought maybe I wanted to have a nice dinner with my beautiful wife. And she's like, and gets out of the car and just like slams the door and storms away and stuff, right?
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah. And so he follows her out and she chews him out for taking the job and he tells her that they need the money. And then there's another fucking flashback. I thought like, oh, maybe they need the money because like they needed to finish paying off her hospital bills or some shit. I don't know. Like they're in debt up to their ears or something. And so that's why they have to keep, they don't talk about that. They're just the little things and stuff. Like just anything you're like, come on, Evie, you know, we need the money.
00:24:49
Speaker
faith hospital bills completely wiped us out. Like that's all they had to say. And I would have been like, oh, that's why they're so desperate to keep working. Like, obviously, like. Well, I mean, in this economy, no one needs an excuse. Yeah. So then there's a black and white, or there's another flashback, but this time it's black and white of Evie chewing heart out, like on FaceTime again about how they have to do every job together for now on.
00:25:14
Speaker
I don't know why, but she's like, this is why we shouldn't be apart. We need to do everything together for now on. And he was like, I was just trying to do what my beautiful wife wanted me to do. And I was just trying to make her happy and yada yada and stuff. And she's just like, ugh. And then there's another fucking flashback, okay, of an earlier time of her like scrolling through Hart's Instagram, but it's like the actor's like head shots and stuff. And I mean, he's a
00:25:39
Speaker
he's a photographer so he probably took his own photos and everything but they're like you could probably pull up IMDB and that's his photos. Same pictures yeah. Yeah and so she's like scrolling through his Instagram looking at these photos and then calls him and she's like hey Hart it's Evie from college. Would I remember Evie from college? I mean Evie because it's a weird name but like you know I just yeah.
00:25:59
Speaker
Like how close were you in college, you know? And she's like, yeah, well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm a mother and my daughter has a rare blood disease. Oh, and I'm a writer and stuff. And then they FaceTime again and they're just like talking and he's just like, yeah, well, you know, I'm back in town next week. Maybe we could meet up and discuss some things.
00:26:19
Speaker
And I was like, okay, what are we discussing, right? You find out later, that's very brief. It's because he had the same blood type or something that her daughter has. So he was donating his blood to her or something. How did that come about? I have no idea. And then I guess they fell in love. I know that you are A-B negative and my daughter also needs that blood. Yeah, I have no idea. Man from college. What?
00:26:43
Speaker
I don't know but he was like yeah I can help and then I think they fell in love and got married for that. Oh okay. I just she's like yeah I'm a mother now and um I'm a writer and my daughter has a rare blood disease. Okay. It's the most awkward conversation of all time. Do you think if someone from a high school called you and was like hey my mother. I mean I would never pick up. It's true but like you know I just
00:27:05
Speaker
No, that's weird. It's just weird and stuff, right? Anyway, so back at the present Hart says that he'll drive and they get back in the car, right? Mm-hmm. And Hart's turning on some rap music and Evie puts in her AirPods and there's just this weird like
00:27:23
Speaker
Song like just like not instrumental but instrumental like it's just the background music of a movie Mm-hmm music that she's listening to I don't know what free ass music Yeah, I don't know what song she thought they were gonna put in but like cuz he's over here like uh-huh n-word. Yeah mother bitches Like just just you know, like that's the that's the rap that came on. It was just like uh, yeah
00:27:51
Speaker
n-word n-word n-word and i was like okay like so wow with the a not the hard r but like just right yeah do you imagine it wraps on with the hard r version there's a lot are there yeah i feel like mostly it's the a it's mostly the a but a lot of them say the hard r weird yeah
00:28:11
Speaker
You've never heard those books? I mean, maybe. There's a lot of people that sing along to it and they get canceled online. Well, I know, but I feel like usually they're saying it with like the slang. It's not like, oh, it's hard R.
00:28:34
Speaker
Okay, so she's listening to that all right and then she thinks again about her daughter being in the hospital and then her daughter in a casket and then her heart at the funeral putting flowers on the casket anyway they're driving his blood did nothing yeah I guess she still died so like
00:28:49
Speaker
But I don't, we'll get there. And then coming across a weird little cabin and I was like, what's this weird little cabin? That's the fucking house that they're going to, okay? Not at any point did they explain what the fuck they're doing here.
00:29:04
Speaker
Okay, nope, Arn didn't say it. They didn't say it on the drive. The woman they talk to later doesn't say it. It's just the job they're doing. The job they're doing, okay. I had to piece together, and this is what I'm, okay, okay. She owned the, okay, the woman they talk to, Margaret, they're gonna talk to her later, okay. I'm gonna tell you, the woman that owns this house, it was her father's house, okay. He, we'll talk about him later, is no longer inside the house.
00:29:34
Speaker
Okay. He's not there. Okay. At that moment is not occupying the home. Okay. And so she's renting it out as like an Airbnb or something. Okay. I don't want to give it away. So she's renting it out as an Airbnb, but she doesn't want to rent it out as an Airbnb, but
00:30:01
Speaker
Does. Okay. I don't know. Okay. So they're there because it's haunted. Not at any point does anyone say it's haunted or that they believe it's haunted. Okay. Or she wants to prove that it's not haunted or something or like no. Okay. Okay.
00:30:18
Speaker
I don't fucking know. Okay. But I guess what they do is they go to these places, like I said, they go to these places, they get paid to write a book about it so that more people will come and stay there. Okay. So their job was to go there and investigate this house and get paid to do so. Right. Okay. At no point did they say that's why they were here. I found out later.
00:30:38
Speaker
for like piecing together everything else they were talking about throughout the movie that that's what they're doing okay they never earlier on when i told you that that's what they do they don't explain that okay they just say here's money go ghost hunt
00:30:53
Speaker
Okay. Right? I don't know. I don't fucking know. Okay. So I watch all hour and 30 minutes of this movie and I'm explaining to you what happens. I don't know what happens in this movie. Okay. Okay. So we're going. Okay. Okay. So they get there to the cabin and they pull up to the house.
00:31:17
Speaker
He looks up. It's dark out. He looks around and he goes, where is this lady? Maybe inside the house. That's what a normal person would think. Yeah. Right. But no. She goes, I don't know. I don't. But the other thing to me is I was like, Arne said earlier this woman is dying. Yeah. Okay.
00:31:36
Speaker
So she's probably bedridden is what I assumed. I thought that they were going to this house to hear the story of how her father was some wicked, I don't know. And her house is now haunted and his spirit still lingers in the house. No. Okay. Okay. I was hoping that they were going to be interviewing this old ass crotchety lady in a bed and she's like, and my father murdered 90 people or something. No. Okay. Okay. And heart starts complaining that they've been on the road all night.
00:32:03
Speaker
for three hours three hours babes three hours okay yeah that's a joke yeah that's nothing that's half a disneyland trip yeah like give me double that's easy i'll take it right right fucking now evie says that she has the lady's email and phone number and she's like i'll call her real quick she pulls up her phone she goes boop boop boop ring
00:32:27
Speaker
Ring, she's not answering. Hangs up while the phone is on the third ring, okay? Which rings once and she's like, ugh, where is she? Shannon. Yes. Do you answer your phone on the first ring? No. No. Well, I'm a bad example. I do because I get paid to answer my damn phone on the first ring. Yes. Anyway, so I was like, how fucking rude, dude. And they're all like, heart goes, wow, okay, what the hell?
00:32:57
Speaker
This woman is dying according to Arne's words. Yes. Old and dying. You think her cell phone is in her hands and she's like tick tock. She's like waiting for them to call. No, I don't think so. Anyway, not the point. So they decide that they're gonna go... Heart tries to get a little frisky with her in the car. She gets all pissy and like shoves his hand away. She's like, seriously?
00:33:17
Speaker
and like gets out of the car, right? All he does, like, cause she grabs his hand and he just kind of like grabs her knee and stuff and she's like, stop it. Okay. Okay. So she gets out of the car, walks away and she calls R and telling him that the lady isn't there and they've been waiting here for like five minutes already. Okay. Okay. And they drove like for like four hours. And I was like, I thought it was three. There's a difference. There's a difference. Yes.
00:33:40
Speaker
But even still, it's not that long. No. Okay. Um, so Hart comes out after a minute and he gets all like, he comes up cause she's like freezing and stuff. And so he comes up and he wraps his arms around her and starts trying to warm up her arms. And he's like, Hey, let me go see that bar that would pass. And she's like, okay. And so they go to the bar and he gets alcohol and stuff. Right. So they're at the bar and they're having fun taking drinks. They're just laughing and having a good time. Chat with some of the other people that are in the town and stuff. I know any joy coming from them and our calls. Okay.
00:34:11
Speaker
Does she answer the phone? No, she fucking doesn't. She doesn't answer to the fifth fucking ring. I would have hung up by that. Right? I would have been like, oh, where is she? Like, yeah, fuck this bitch. Fuck this bitch. So she's super drunk when she answers the phone, okay? And Arne says, hey, oh, I said I called her a cheeky cunt.
00:34:36
Speaker
Arne tells him that the lady will be at the house in 30 minutes, but it took some convincing. And they were like, why? And he's like, I don't know, because I guess the lady was having second thoughts. So like second thoughts about what? And he's like, I don't know. And then she's like, I don't know. I'm pretty tired. I think we're just gonna not go. Where you going, bitch? In this little tiny town. You're getting paid. You're getting paid to do a job. Right?
00:34:56
Speaker
And he's like, you need to do your job. And she tells him she's not sure if she's feeling it. It's going to be Faith's birthday on Friday. And Arne tells her just to get over it already. And she's like, you don't just get over the death or like your child dying. And he tells her to get a puppy and that this next book is going to be published internationally. France, Africa. He bets hearts going to want to go to Africa. Yeah. And I said, because he's black, you see.
00:35:23
Speaker
And so, cause I didn't write that in the notes at all until later. So.
00:35:35
Speaker
And she calls, she tells him to shut up, racist prick. Because she's drunk. And he says, he says that he should have dropped them so many times over, but he didn't. He believes in them. And he tells him just to write the book. And she agrees after calling him a womanizing racist prick and he goes, good. Now get your fine ass over to that house because that bitch is waiting. And she goes, and hangs up the phone.
00:36:00
Speaker
And I was like, who's the racist here? Because you're endorsing that. Like you're, like just because you call someone a racist doesn't mean that you're not still approving what they're saying. Like that was racist, you know? Yeah.
00:36:19
Speaker
Anyway, so Hart comes up and they're both wasted. They're fucking wasted, okay? And he comes up and he's like, what am I doing? And she's like, we gotta go buck. And he's like, okay. So they go back to the cabin. And drive. They drive to the cabin. Cool. Okay, cool. It doesn't seem like it's that far, but it also seems like it's that far because she walks later. Anyway, so yeah.
00:36:42
Speaker
So they get to the house, or the little cabin thingy, I call it a house, but like, it's not really a house. So there's this very stuck up, prissy woman waiting for them. And she's like, I told Mr. Arnold on the phone that I had no intention of letting you stay in the house. And they were like, okay, then why are you here? And she's like, I'm here to warn you. And that they spotted you the moment that you drove into town and they're following you. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Right? And the two are, they're less drunk in this moment.
00:37:10
Speaker
They're like, okay. Like they're still a little like tipsy, but like they're not waste. They're not, let you know. So they were like a who and she goes, everyone and everything. I never should have called by bringing you here. I've cursed your souls. Okay. Okay. Should've thought of that before. Right. But all right. I know. So they laugh at her and tell her that they've been doing this a long time and they know what they're doing. It's like heart saying this and they know what she's trying to do. She's trying to get them to lower the price and stuff, right?
00:37:39
Speaker
And Evie goes, listen, ma'am, we're just here to do our jobs. Like, just, just, we're here just to do the jobs. When have you hired ghost hunters? And they show up fucking waste. And they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show up and they show
00:38:03
Speaker
And Evie kind of was like, what does it matter? And she's like, because I want to know if I'm sending a child's parents to their death.
00:38:11
Speaker
And Evie's like, what the fuck? And Hart goes, oh, fuck no. Like, he gets a little ghetto right now. A little, you know, and he starts like, no, you're gonna give us this motherfucking key, you dumb ass bitch. And he just goes on for a second, just being like, you gave us this key, blah, blah, blah. I don't even remember everything. What kind of business transaction is happening here? I have no fucking idea. So she reluctantly gives them the key.
00:38:34
Speaker
And she's like, fine, but I warned you. And so she walks away. And they, because they're drunk, start chuckling. And she was like, where did that come from? That was the key. And so, you know, like, she's joking. And he's like, what about you? You've never been, we've got miss work. We've got work to do. Kind of, you know, I just tongue tied myself. And she tells him that Arne said that they're going to go global. And he was like, what?
00:39:01
Speaker
We're going to go global. And she's like, yeah, we're going to go to Paris. And he's like, we're going to go to Paris. Yeah, let's go to Paris. He's like all excited because now they're getting more drunk from just standing there. And she's like, yeah. And do you want to go inside and fuck? And he's like, yeah, let's go. So they're going inside now. You are going to jump in someone else's house. Yep. I don't think it's going to be right. What is happening? So yeah, they're suddenly
00:39:27
Speaker
far more drunk they're trying to get the door unlocked and then he gets the door open he's like teetering in he has to pull out his phone for the flashlight instead of just flipping on the lights which is and she's like on the ground laughing and shit like they're way more drunk than they were um i just took myself out with my own uh drawstring yeah um and uh yeah anyway
00:39:52
Speaker
So they get into the bed, but Evie remembers that they didn't grab their bags and drunkenly insists that she needs to get them. And he tells her that she better hurry back or he'll get started on his own. And she's like, you wouldn't even finish on your own. So she goes outside and he gets up and starts like calling around the house. He's like, hello, we've come in peace. Is there a wine cellar in here?
00:40:14
Speaker
Can you show me where it is? Oh my gosh. And so, you know, like he's just super drunk and stuff, right? So he gets up to go find the wine cellar himself and outside Evie's getting the bags and we hear a... No.
00:40:30
Speaker
Like it's a very like Hermione trying to be a werewolf a little tiny bit better than that But like yeah, like you're like there's a person. Oh my couldn't get a sound effect Yeah, it's not that hard to just like I don't know fucking There's I there's gotta be dozens of wolf pals. Oh free. Yike 100% I don't know
00:40:51
Speaker
I don't know. But yeah, it's a person just out there. And I don't know if they meant it to be like a person. Also, I didn't write it in my notes, but there is a dog barking. There's just dog barking constantly. Like, I don't know if it's supposed to be a neighbor's dog or if they were like, oh, it's an annoying sound. So let's just keep putting it in the movie. And like every time she's having one of her like moments and we'll just. And I'm like, shut the fuck up anyway.
00:41:16
Speaker
So, um, she gets inside and she's just like, heart, come and save me, there's wolves outside, woo hoo hoo hoo. And then they run into each other and stuff. And he's like, I found a bottle of wine. And she's like, well, are we gonna drink or are we gonna fuck? And then they're fucking.
00:41:31
Speaker
But the woman from before, Margaret, is watching them. Oh no. I can't tell because it shows them banging and then it shows a close-up on a circular, like there's like a wall and then a circular, it's not a window.
00:41:50
Speaker
It's a mirror, but it's not a mirror. I don't know. I can't. Is it a magic mirror? I don't know. I can't even tell you what it is because it doesn't look like it's a reflection of anything. It just looks like she's like in this like portal window, but not because there's no portal windows in the room. Like I don't know if it's supposed to be like a just a we know you're here kind of a weird. I don't know. Okay.
00:42:14
Speaker
It was a choice that they made. I love those. I love those. And she just is like standing there just like, I start smiling and it's really weird. So anyway, the next morning Evie wakes up to the sound of Faith's voice going, mommy, mommy.
00:42:32
Speaker
And we flash forward to her not being in bed, her raging through the house, okay? Raging. She's got her, I don't even know, do people actually pack their own robes? Anyway, she's wearing a robe. Okay. And she's raging through the house about how this woman is, is...
00:42:49
Speaker
playing a joke on them and this is such a sick prank and stuff and this is so fucked up and they're demanding that they check all the vents because that's gotta be where the cameras are and microphones and stuff and like she's lost her shit right now. How about they have your daughter's voice? That's what I wanted to know. She asks that later too but I was like
00:43:10
Speaker
That makes no sense. That makes no sense. I'd be like, I'm losing my mind because I'm hearing things. Yeah, but no, she instantly goes to, they're playing a prank on me and she says, they've been doing this joke all day. I was like, you just woke up. Yeah. Like you just woke up.
00:43:26
Speaker
What the fuck are you talking about? Anyway, so Hart's trying to calm her down and she's just insistent that they need to leave right this second. But this woman can't just do this to her, right? And he's like, hey, hey, hey, calm down. And he gets her to sit down and he's like, don't let her get to you like that woman did yesterday. You know, like the, the Asian lady from the bookstore and stuff, right? And so Evie was like, I just don't know what it is about rich people that just really gets to me.
00:43:50
Speaker
Fuck them rich people every conversation every word that comes out of their mouths from this point forward. They are not Having they don't have the same scripts. Okay, he's got one conversation and she has another
00:44:05
Speaker
Okay, they are barely communicating with each other in a cohesive comprehensive sentence. Okay. All right? Okay. Okay. He will say something, she will say something back not to what he said. He will then respond not to what he said and not to what she said. So it's just like mad libs. It's just mad libs. Growing up everywhere. Yeah.
00:44:27
Speaker
I was, I felt like I was having an aneurysm watching this movie, okay? Anyway, so, oh, he says that they've already talked about this before. The blog she wrote, and she just put way too much information in the past.
00:44:41
Speaker
Okay, that have anything to do with that? And she says that she, this is a little, she says that she just wanted to be famous. No, she wanted to be noticed, right? That kind of has to do with the blog, right? But now we've become hack celebrities and only crazy people are noticing us. And then Evie decides to call Arn and tells them that they just heard Faith's voice twice, which I was like, how does this woman, would she have a recording of her? So would you not assume
00:45:08
Speaker
I was like, oh, this place is apparently haunted. And I just heard my daughter's voice. Yeah, you're literally searching for her ghost. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. OK. I don't know. Anyway, we're just shaking our heads together. At no point do either of them go, could this really be haunted? Could this really be her? Never. They never say that. So is that why you're like, do you even believe in ghosts? Exactly. I was like, do you guys even believe in ghosts? Do you ghost hunt? Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? OK. OK.
00:45:35
Speaker
Anyway. But they're insistent to Arn that this woman is fucking with them and that this cabin is all a bunch of bullshit. And Arn says that she's already paid though. She just sent over $5,000. $5,000? Yeah. And they were like, that's double than what we were asking for. And I was like, yeah, because she said earlier I'll pay you double. Yeah. Yeah.
00:45:54
Speaker
Maybe it's like double what they thought double was. Maybe that could be it, but I was just like, okay, so. I'm doing something wrong with my life. I know, right? So they agree to stay one more night, okay? After some back and forth and stuff, right? They did agree to stay a little bit longer or like just throughout the rest of the day.
00:46:10
Speaker
And then Hart goes to give her a hug because she's clearly upset. And so he goes like, you know, and she's, ugh, get off of me. And like gets up and she storms over, grabs her phone and calls Margaret. And Margaret's like, hello. And she's like, Margaret. And she's like, who is this?
00:46:26
Speaker
And Evie's like, it's me, Evie, me, me, me, me, me, and stuff. She's like, oh, the writer lady, how are you enjoying my father's cabin? And that's how I learned that it was her father's cabin. Okay. There's no information they're giving you in this movie except the little breadcrumbs that they're tiny little bit giving that I'm putting collectively together for everybody. Yeah.
00:46:47
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Cool. This is not how information should be given. No. Okay? Not at all. No. So she's like, how are you enjoying my father's house? And Evie screams. Where are the cameras? Where are they? I'm getting out of here tonight. Now I need to know where to drop off the key.
00:47:04
Speaker
Bitch, anywhere. Leave. Like, I will just leave. What are you talking about? Anyway, she's like screaming. Anyway, the scene just changes to her running outside up to a tree that's like, cause it's like a cabin with a little bit of woods around them and stuff. Like, you know, like, oh, there's a cabin here and then throw a rock. There's a cabin over there. Throw another rock. There's a cabin over there, but there's tweez in between, right? And so yeah, she goes out, she runs it to a tree and she's like,
00:47:32
Speaker
How did I know you were going to say that? So she cries a little bit and then Hart comes outside and he's got like a bunch of his photo equipment and she's like, what are you doing? And he's, I thought he was packing up and being like, you want to leave? You're clearly over racking, let's go. And then for her to be like, no, let's do this. Yeah, no, he's just like, I'm going to go take some photos. It's really gorgeous out here. And I'm really kind of feeling the mojo to take some photos right now.
00:47:58
Speaker
And I'd like my wife to come with me, is what he says, right? And so she's like, okay, let me go get dressed. And he's like, okay, I'll see you in just a minute. So she goes inside and she gets dressed, okay? And then, oh, she does give him a hug then. And all I can think is, he's a partner when she is convenient or when she wants it. Yeah, be a partner, okay? Hart does some shit later on, okay? But like- But right now he's being supportive and nice and- He's being like a great husband. All I can think is why did he ever get with her? Yeah.
00:48:27
Speaker
Ever maybe she hasn't always been like this, but I mean the death of a child can change people But like yeah, just I don't know. I would have I would have left her a long time ago Anyway, so as they're driving heart tells her oh that she that aren't should have emailed over The information about the cottage or the cabin and stuff, right? So Evie's like, okay, so she opens it up and she starts reading a bunch of newspaper articles about a name a man
00:48:52
Speaker
named Karlov, who's Margaret's father, right? And he was, it says at the top, Karlov, the illusionist, madman, and murderer. Oh, okay. She reads a bunch of articles. Not that we get to see anything. It just shows a bunch of pictures of him being like, and so like just like the crazed faces and stuff. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? I guess. And I think it mentioned that he murdered four people. I don't know. I see four dead people later. That's, anyway.
00:49:20
Speaker
Okay, so anyway, okay. So she just reads a bunch of articles. Oh, there's something that he went missing and now there's a cult dedicated to him or some shit. And they spend like two fucking minutes doing that. Okay. And I'm like, that we don't get to see any of the information other than he's an illusionist and a bad man and a murderer. And he wasn't a cult about him. Like that's it. Okay. They show so much time with them just like driving.
00:49:46
Speaker
and then her looking at her phone. Couldn't it be her being like, check this out. Like, let me read this out loud to you. This and this, no. Okay. No, because they didn't want to actually write an article. But no wonder she's crazy, listen to this. Yeah, like, yeah, nothing. Okay. Because that would be good writing, Shannon. I know, I know.
00:50:04
Speaker
Oh, and the whole time this is going on, there's this weird circus music, not like a... But it's just like a... Like it's, it's, I don't know, you'd have to hear it. Like slightly eerie kind of. But more circus music. Like it's just, it's just weird. I don't know. Maybe it's because he's an illusionist. I don't know.
00:50:26
Speaker
Anyway, so they park finally and Hart gets out and he starts taking photos while Evie starts having weird visions of her daughter standing with Karlov and then there's these four dead people on the ground just like staring at her and then she's just like she's really shook up so she needs a breather and she goes over and sits down and he comes over he's like hey are you okay and she's like yeah um how long have we been here and he's like I don't know like a half hour
00:50:52
Speaker
When? When half hour? When? You've been here two minutes. Like, yeah, I was like, you got out of the car, walked over, started taking photos. She looks over, has this vision, goes over, sits down, and goes, how long have we been here?
00:51:04
Speaker
Maybe that's the point. It's supposed to suppose like she's been like spacing out for maybe I don't know but also that would make a whole lot more sense if they said that she was sensitive in some way but she's not and so I don't know or be like well I have been having these like weird visions maybe it means something something okay but that would be good writing okay I'm sorry so yeah anyway so she's just like I think I need to be done and he's like okay we'll get back in the car they had to have been driving for at least like 20 minutes to get to where they were the same time that they were there yeah
00:51:34
Speaker
So he drives her back to the cabin, okay? And as they're driving back, she's like, so what do you think of this Karlov stuff? So she did say it out loud? I do. But not to us? No. I just, anyway. Okay. And he asks because she really believes all that crap and she says it's just creepy. And he wants her to relax and says that she's the one, or she says that she's the one who read the file.
00:51:56
Speaker
And Hart just tries to distract her by talking about Paris, okay? This whole sense, like everything that's happening in this conversation is so... Disconnected. Yeah, like I just like... They're just talking to themselves. Talking to themselves, okay? And so he starts talking about Paris and he's like, I can't even think about Paris. All I can think about right now is this job. And I was like, but you don't... This job you're not doing? Yeah. And so I thought maybe for a minute she was going to start like getting obsessed with it. No.
00:52:23
Speaker
So he drops her off saying that he wants to go take some more photos and he's going to run into town and get them some food. And she was like, okay, that's it. I'm not staying at this house by myself if I think that it's got cameras and microphones and what? But she's like, okay. Like, and he tells her, he's like, yeah, I really feel like I'm actually getting my mojo back. Like, I don't know what it is about like the woods out here, but like, I'm really excited to take photos. And she was like,
00:52:47
Speaker
Okay, go take your photos and stuff. Like being a good partner, you know? Yeah. And I mean, if she was like, I don't know, I don't want to be here by myself, like that would be different, you know? But she's just like, okay, go ahead. So she goes inside and starts writing. Okay? Okay. I... About what? She's writing the book.
00:53:03
Speaker
About what? I don't know. Carla! I guess nothing else has happened. But I don't know anything about him either. So like, okay. Okay, sorry. No, you're good. I'm only like 30 minutes into the movie.
00:53:20
Speaker
So, maybe a little longer than that. Okay, so they're looking back at a bunch of more articles. Well, an old spooky man voice keeps whispering, I see you and stuff, right? But I don't know if she can hear it. I think it's us. Yeah. And it's just like the weird spooky music's going on. I don't know. You keep hearing like a baby kind of crying and then like children giggling and stuff. And she kind of is looking uncomfortable, but I'm like, do you hear this? Because if I was hearing, I see you.
00:53:47
Speaker
Uh-uh. Gone. Gone! If she freaked out that much about her daughter's voice. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be gone. Yeah. And there's just all these like whispering and like kind of children voices. I can't hear everything though because it's a bunch of like the weird ambiance shit that they do. Yeah. And so she gets up because she hears something but I don't know if she can hear what we're hearing. Okay. So like I don't know. So she goes up and she starts exploring the
00:54:12
Speaker
ugliest house I've ever seen in my life. Oh my gosh. Like the walls were one color. The floors were a completely different color. Like none of it was cohesive in the slightest. Like I just, I'll take a picture and send it to you later, but like, Oh my gosh. Okay. I said, honestly, this Airbnb sucks ass. It's the most dated ugliest thing. So she goes outside and she texts Hart asking him to come and pick her up. She's like, Hey, I'm sorry, but can you come and pick me up? Let's go into town together or whatever, right?
00:54:38
Speaker
but um the camera pans over and we see like creepy laughing breathing and stuff and she just decides to walk because he's not texting her back right that fucking second because she's too impatient so as she's walking she's walking through the woods okay she then calls him and it goes straight to voicemail and she gets all mad and she's like where are you you took the car and i can't get a ride why aren't you answering
00:55:02
Speaker
She's taking photos. Leave her there and go. Anyway, so she's just walking and walking and walking and somehow makes it to town because they show her walking for like ever. Anyway, so she gets to town. She finds the bar that they were in and she walks in and the bartender's like, we don't open for another 15 minutes. And she's like, is it cool if I wait here? Why is your door unlocked? I don't know.
00:55:25
Speaker
So the bartender walks up and is like, sure, that's fine. Picks up, like from behind the counter, picks up an already poured beer. She doesn't pour a beer. She picks up a poured beer and gives it to her and is just like, that's on the house and stuff, right? It's poisoned. No, thank you. Okay. And she gives her some like really weird, like fuck me eyes and stuff, right? But not. She's like, she wants a tip.
00:55:47
Speaker
Yeah, and so, and she's like, what's your name? And so Evie tells her her full fucking name when you already have a blog that you should not, that you've decided you're giving away too much personal information, right? Anyway, so this girl grabs her phone, not that we see it, we just see her like, looking off screen, like she's looking at a phone, but like, you never, all she had to do was go.
00:56:06
Speaker
Oh my gosh. She googles her in front of her. She googles her in front of her and starts going Wikipedia. Amazon reads audible and Evie goes, I'm on audible. And she's like, you're a celebrity. And Evie shrugs it off and tells the bartender lady how she heard her daughter's voice today out of fucking nowhere. She's like, I heard my daughter's voice today twice.
00:56:28
Speaker
But she doesn't know how she... Margaret. But she doesn't say Margaret, she just says she. I don't know how she could have got out a recording of my daughter's voice, or a girl to sound enough like her. What? Okay. I'm fucking known. Imagine being that bartender.
00:56:43
Speaker
I feel like you've been in that position where you're just like, what are you saying to me right now? With a guy that was telling me about the birds are the ones that control the weather. So like, there's that, you know? Yeah. So the bartender gives her more fuck me eyes and is like, uh, you seem nice. Where are you staying? And Evie says, oh, I'm staying at the magician's cabin. And the bartender goes and walks away like she's disgusted with her, right? And just leaves her in the bar.
00:57:08
Speaker
That's not open. Avie decides to leave and she walks back to the cabin where she finds that the car is there, but the door is locked. And so she tries calling him again, but her phone now has no service. And she's like, what the hell? Like, that's weird. Yeah. So she was like, well, I had service yesterday. I had it just a little bit ago, but whatever, you know. But Hart spooks her when he suddenly shows up and he's not acting drunk. He's acting high, but he's supposedly drunk. And he says that he forgot to lock the front door. And she's like, well, I heard footsteps and I got scared. I don't know when.
00:57:38
Speaker
What are you talking about earlier? We didn't hear footsteps. I don't. There were no footsteps heard for me. Anyway. Okay. And she says that she thinks everyone in town is acting really weird. And he's like, everyone, everyone in town? And she's like, yeah, everyone in town is acting weird. The one person she talked to. Yeah. And he goes, I think everyone is fine. And she goes off that they're not fine. And that Margaret is really trying to mess with them and they need to leave.
00:58:03
Speaker
Okay. And then she asks if anything weird happened and he says, no, but he got a nice bottle of wine and popped it open and says he's feeling good and needs her to lighten up a little. And she says that they'll leave tonight. Oh, but he says that they'll leave tonight even though he's a little drunk. And she agrees saying that she just needs a few more hours to write and then they can go. And he's like, okay. Do you want to be there or not? Right? Exactly. Oh my gosh. So she goes inside to sit down and she pulls up this like file folder, like a file that says auto save.
00:58:33
Speaker
She clicks it open and there's like six auto saves in there. Okay? Okay. So, but she opens each and every file and everything is gone. It's completely blank. Everything that she wrote that morning is gone. Right? And she's devastated and she calls Hart in and he's pissed. And he's like, this, you always do this, Evie. It's the little details that you can't do. And she's like, I'm like, writing the book, writing the book is the little details, Hart. The little details are your photos.
00:59:00
Speaker
Maybe the little detail is actually saving your shit. Exactly, but like he gets mad and she's like, and they're just fighting and stuff for a minute. And then you choose her out and Evie says that she's not doing this. And he's like, for him to go take the photos and then they'll go. And he asks what she's going to do because he's going to do all the work like usual and stuff, right?
00:59:20
Speaker
And so later, they just keep jumping scenes. Like time just skips for no reason, right? Anyway, they show her sitting there having a glass of wine, complaining that she doesn't have any phone service. And she complains that this whole place is really messed up and she just wants to leave. And he's taking photos of the inside of the house, right? And he tells her that she's paranoid and he has more photos to take. And she complains that she wants to leave again. And he says, they'll leave soon. And I'm like, just go then. Yeah.
00:59:45
Speaker
Anyway, figure it out. So, randomly the landline rings and Evie answers it and it's Arn, annoying, or like he's yelling at them, why aren't they answering their phones? They tell them that their phones aren't working and that they're leaving. And he chews them out and says, no, they aren't, they need to finish their job. And she says that he's not here, he just wouldn't get it. And he says that he called, that she called him from a bar last night, wasted.
01:00:09
Speaker
He called her and now she's acting paranoid and he's putting two and two together and they need to do their job and then hangs up. And Evie and Hart are annoyed and he acts like he's got a migraine, okay? Okay. But a bit later Evie is frantically, frantically packing shit in her bags, right? And then grabs the bags and she's springing from the house. She gets in the car. She like throws everything in the back seat. She's like, go, go, let's go. And I'm like, what happened?
01:00:35
Speaker
Okay. What happened? But like, he's like, okay. And so he goes to start the car and the car doesn't start, obviously. So they start screaming at each other. She's just like, this is your fault. You must have left the lights on. She's going off on him and he's like, shut up, Evie. Just stop. Just stop it, Evie. And he's like, kind of like, like the migraines creeping back on or whatever. He's obviously getting possessed and he slaps her. Oh, because she's screaming. I honestly
Possession and Surreal Experiences
01:01:02
Speaker
would have slapped her too. She was hysterical. Like, but she's like,
01:01:07
Speaker
And gets out of the car, right? Because obviously her husband just slapped her and it's not okay, but like
01:01:12
Speaker
She was being crazy. She was screaming at himself, right? So she gets out of the car and he's trying to, he's like, that's not me. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I just did. I would never hurt you. You know that and stuff, which is what a lot of them say and everything, but I don't think he ever actually would have had he not been in a possessed house or some shit, right? So he gets out and he's like, I'm so sorry, you know, this isn't me and stuff, right? And then a red,
01:01:39
Speaker
just like a hazy version of circle of the magician's face going, you're in my world now. What the fuck? And so Evie turns around and she walks back to him and stuff, right? And then it shows them a sleep.
01:01:54
Speaker
It shows heart asleep in the bed in the cabin. Okay. Because they're just jumping around time. And Evie's wandering around the house hearing the wolves in the distance and having a vision of herself sitting in one of the chairs in the living room writing. And then she walks outside and it's like her walking down the street.
01:02:13
Speaker
holding her baby and stuff and then Yep. Oh, she's like laying on the bed and there's a pregnant faith riding away. I like it's just hopping around I have no fucking clue right or not pregnant faith a pregnant baby like yeah, and she's sitting at a bar and so she gets to the bar and Faith is like sitting there just staring at her and then Karlov appears in that weird same window circle portlet hole thingy and he's just like walking to it
01:02:40
Speaker
okay i have no idea it's just so weird shana and i don't know
01:02:46
Speaker
So she's at the bar, Evie stumbles out of the bar and that's where Hart finds her. And he says that he's been looking for her and she's like, you hit me. And he's like, I would never do that to you. And I'm so sorry. He goes, I think it's the house. I haven't felt right since we've got here. Like we need to leave. Let's just go. So she's like, why are we here Hart? Why are we still here? And he was like with a car and she goes, we could just walk. It's 20 miles, but we could make it.
01:03:13
Speaker
And I was like, 20 miles? What 20 miles? What are you driving 40, like four hours for 20 miles? What are you talking about? To the town? Isn't that what you mean? I have no idea you're in the town. So she's like, let's just go. And he goes, right? And I'm just like, anywhere else probably? Like the next town, maybe it's 20? I don't know.
01:03:28
Speaker
Also, 20 miles is not just a let's walk situation. No. Unless you're a pioneer. Yeah, exactly. No. No, thank you. I mean, maybe along the highway, sure, but like. No. No. So Evie stumbled. Oh, no. Yeah, he just is like, oh, I'm so sorry. Blah, blah, blah. And he says, she's like, let's just walk. And he's like, it's dark and it's freezing and you're drunk. We're going to get a mile down the road and you're not going to be able to make it, you know? And he goes, let's just go back to the cabin for tonight.
01:03:56
Speaker
And then we'll see what we need to do in the morning. She goes, fine, but in the morning I'm walking out of here. And he walks up and he goes, and I'll be there with you. I'll be walking with you, right? He's like, I'm your husband. And this won't happen again. You know, he's like, he can't control himself, right? Because the fucking house and everything, okay? So then she like, is like, okay, and gets close and then smacks the shit out of him and goes, you ever hit me again, I'm going to fucking kill you.
01:04:22
Speaker
And I was like, oh, I mean, yeah, but like, whoa, whoa. OK, but it's OK for her to hit him. Right. Kind of like, I just don't like double standing. Anyway, but I'm like, very fair. There you go. Here you go. Yeah. And they go back to they go back to the cabin. Evie's super drunk and she goes to lay down and Hart just leans. It goes to lean into like kiss or something. I don't know if he's trying to get frisky or whatever, but it's just like he's she's flopping down and he just kind of leans and puts his hand on her back and like goes to kiss her and she's just like, awesomely.
01:04:51
Speaker
And he's like, okay, all right, okay. And like rolls over and goes to sleep, okay. So the next morning, Evie wakes up, she wanders out of the room, she goes to take a shower, and then a heart wakes up with an evil look in his eye. And attacks her in the shower, what you think. But like the window? Yeah, but like the window is open, like you could jump out the window.
01:05:14
Speaker
there's a window to the shower that's basically boob high. So you don't get to see anything, but like, yeah. So he's attacking her. When he turns and looks out the window and he sees Karlov just standing in the forest and stuff, right? And that's where he is like, oh, what, what am I doing? Like he comes to, but too late, Evie's sprinting from the place. She's terrified. She gets dressed and leaves, but he's very much just like,
01:05:38
Speaker
Oh, what, why did I just, you know, he's very clearly possessed and stuff, right? So like he's not in his right mind. So then Edie runs out of the house and the scene goes on for so fucking long, Shannon. She's just wandering and wandering and she keeps seeing images of Faith and then Karlov and then herself and then a baby crying and stuff. The funniest fucking part though, she's walking down the freeway and then she stops and has a good cry. Then she decides to go back to the town. Cause I don't, I think she thinks it's too far to walk or some shit. I don't fucking, so he was right.
01:06:08
Speaker
So like, I'm walking, I'm going, I'm leaving, I don't care. But the best part is that you hear the baby crying, right? This is the baby audio of the, kind of a sound, right? And she goes,
01:06:20
Speaker
It cuts off for a few seconds. Like the audio ended. They didn't loop it. Yeah. So like, okay. Anyway, she gets back to the bar. That goes, I just took out like a whole fucking paragraph of that, right? Anyway, so she gets back to town and she goes to the bar and she asks the bartender if she can use her phone saying she doesn't have a signal, right? Or well, she's like, can I use your phone? Bartender's like, why? And she's like, I don't have a signal. The bartender goes, yeah, you do. I tried to tell you yesterday, but you were pretty out of it.
01:06:50
Speaker
Right? So Evie looks at her phone and she sees text messages from Arne being like, how's the job? Why aren't you answering me? Hello. I tried to tell you that you had service. Yeah. And I was like, what? Was she complaining that she didn't have service? No, we don't see her in, like you see her sit in the bar, but she doesn't talk to anybody in the bar. So like in her weird little delusion state that she was having, I don't fucking know. And she looks at the bartender and goes, when did I get these? And then runs from the bar.
01:07:17
Speaker
Okay? Okay. And I'm just like, why do you keep asking her and talking to her about things that she doesn't know? I heard my daughter's voice today. Yeah. Twice. And that woman, she- She? How would she do it? How would she know? And the part where Kelly's just like, okay, you gonna fuck me? What are we doing? Hello?
01:07:35
Speaker
Anyway, so she gets outside and she FaceTimes Arne and she tells him that some stuff happened today and he's like, what? And she's like, I don't care. He's like, where's our heart? And she's like, I don't know. I don't care. I just want to get out of here. And she's going to find a mechanic and drive home. And he's like, why do you need to find a mechanic? And she's like, hey, this is your fault, Arne. And he's like, hey, listen, I just called to apologize. I know it's Friday.
01:08:00
Speaker
And she was like, it's Faith's birthday. Oh my gosh, I'm the worst mother in the world. And I'm like, you kind of have an excuse to forget. You have a lot going on. So like, yeah. And she's just like, I'm horrible. And he's like, no, you're not. And she's like, I am. And suddenly, heart is like standing there. Oh, no. Like across the street. And she's like, oh, and runs. So she runs back inside. And he's just like, get back here, Eva. And she's like, no, leave me alone. And he's like, you'll come back here.
01:08:29
Speaker
She runs out the back and just like takes off. And then she's running. She sees him coming. So she runs and she trips and there he is standing in front of her with a big ass rock. And he goes to like hit her with it, but she rolls out of the way. But then heart comes up from where he was before. And now there's two hearts and she's like, ah, and then runs. Okay. And they just like, the one looks at him while the other one's just like staring at her. And then he like looks back forward. And the other one goes,
01:08:55
Speaker
Looks at him and then looks back forward and then they just start like Michael Myers walking after her, right? What is going on?
01:09:12
Speaker
What is happening? So they come out of the trees and they start like following after her and stuff, right? She gets back to the cabin and she turns, she locks the door, then she just like collapses to the ground and starts crawling through the house. Drama. Like she's like... And I'm like, you're not hurt? Did you get hurt? Did you? I don't think so, right? Okay.
01:09:34
Speaker
Anyway, so she crawls into one of the rooms and that's where she sees Hart's camera. And for some reason she decides to look through it because obviously there has to be, oh, I did forget to mention one thing earlier when she was like having her visions and they were like taking photos and he was like, oh, how long have we been out here? 30 minutes, yada, yada. He had asked her like, oh, do you wanna go rough up Margaret? And she was like, no, let's just go. And I thought it was him being funny. But no, in these photos, it's him roughing up Margaret.
01:10:03
Speaker
Like she's dead or some shit. I don't know. There's photos of just her being like bloody on the face. And I'm like, what? But it's just like, it's just like photo after photo after photo after photo after photo. And she's just like, and she keeps clicking through the photos. She's just.
01:10:25
Speaker
what i don't know okay so i don't okay okay okay so then she um okay she starts pacing back and forth telling herself that none of this is real and she decides to call the police and she's begging them for help okay they answer they're like no no and she's like i need your help i'm at this address please you need to come here right now and because she's sobbing into the phone they go are you injured she says no and they said you're gonna be and then hang up and she's like
01:10:54
Speaker
Oh no! Cause obviously whatever the shit's going on there, okay? And then she looks out the window and there's heart staring at her through the window just like, okay. So she decides to run or like she, she goes to leave, but he's like in the house now too. Cause there's four of them or some shit, but there's not. So she sees him in the house and so she goes into a room and she shuts the closet door and hides in the closet. Okay.
01:11:18
Speaker
So Hart starts like taunting her and he's like, he's like, Evie, where are you? Evie! Oh, you're probably thinking to yourself, why Hart? I love you. Do you Evie? Do you love me? And that, oh and it's blah, blah, blah. So he just, and it starts going off about how he loved Faith like she was his own child and that he loved her.
01:11:40
Speaker
Evie, but far more than she loved him, right? Sounds like it. Yeah. He then goes on to explain about how, oh, that Faith's father abandoned them when he found out that Faith was sick and so you called me. And it's always about you, Evie. It's always what you want. Our jobs, our cars, like just blah, blah, blah and stuff, right? Okay.
01:11:59
Speaker
and that he's not getting out of this house alive and stuff. And suddenly her daughter, like, so she's like sitting in the closet just like, and then her daughter's face is like right there. And that was probably the spookiest part of the whole movie was just this little girl's face coming out of the dark. And she's like, ah! And so she screams because I would fucking go. And he's like, hey, why are it opens the closet? Even though he's right there, he's like, she knows she's in the closet. He's, here's the closet door because you don't love me, Evie! Like,
01:12:27
Speaker
There you are. So he grabs her and yanks her out of the closet and somehow drops a kitchen knife. I didn't see it in his hand before, but it doesn't super matter. I don't know if she grabbed the kitchen knife beforehand and they just didn't show her doing it because this is a bad movie. Yeah. And just so there's one on the floor. Okay.
01:12:45
Speaker
they start struggling and on the ground and he's in her face screaming that she doesn't love him and he did great there okay he was doing he was in her face and she's like no why why are you letting this happen to us why heart and stuff
01:13:00
Speaker
Like, so she's trying to connect to him and he's just like, I can't control that AV and stuff, right? Then they're distracted because there's their daughter's legs and like the little Mary Jane shoes and like stockings and stuff, right? And he looks up and sees it and she takes that moment to grab the knife. And this, this is the scene I recorded. Okay. Okay. Just to show you the bad quality of it. Cause I laughed a little bit.
01:13:40
Speaker
What in the world? Okay, that's Karlov by the way. Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. Okay. You are explaining this way better. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, I was trying. Mimi asked him, he described it. So yeah, she just grabs the knife and it just cuts to the scene of the knife just going into his chest. Not her like stabbing it into him. It's just
01:13:51
Speaker
This works.
01:14:01
Speaker
Like a chest like a fake chest because obviously that's how they're getting you know They were doing just a slow push of this kitchen knife going into his chest and then a scene The a red scene of Karlov just like sitting in a field just like looking at them and stuff, right? Yeah
01:14:17
Speaker
and then Ghost Faith jumps off the bed while he's laying there bleeding out and stuff and she runs up into her mother's arms and Evie just holds her but then it pans over to a mirror which obviously it's just Evie standing there with her arms out like hugging nothing
01:14:32
Speaker
I said, there's still 20 fucking minutes left in this fucking movie, oh my God. Okay, so then Evie flashes to Evie carrying Heart out of the house, okay? Telling him that it's gonna be okay to stay with her, right? Because I think they both realized that what the fuck is going on, you know? Because what the fuck is this? What the fuck is that? What is going on? I think she realized that he's obviously being controlled because he says he can't control it. And she's like, oh, it's not his fault, let's go. So she very, very quickly forgives him.
01:15:01
Speaker
Which I would probably too, even that, if the morning stuff, I would probably be like, he's fucking possessed. When you talk like, yeah. Anyway, Evie carries him out to the car, but there's everyone. Like the whole town is there. There's Karlov, there's bloody faced Margaret, there's the bartender, there's all these people just standing there, okay? Just staring at her. And she tells them, she looks to them as their howls are,
01:15:26
Speaker
in the distance and there's the dogs barking and shit, right? And she looks at them and she says, they need to go. The heart needs a doctor and the bartender says, so go, go. And she gets them in the car. The car starts up immediately and they leave.
01:15:42
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Later, Evie has the worst fucking wig. It's just like, I can't, I don't know how long later this is. I don't know if it's a few months. I don't know if it's a year. They did not give you any kind of time indication, enough time to write a book. Okay. Oh, why? And enough time for her to cut and dye her hair. Why? Okay. Also fucking though, the whole time Evie had like brown hair, except the ends, the very ends,
01:16:10
Speaker
um were bleached at some point and I don't know if she went swimming or I don't know if she put green dye in her hair because that was not it was like it was green but not green yeah it was bad okay it was really bad um so yeah so she's having the worst fucking wig of all time and she's at a bookstore and a bunch of people are clapping for her excitedly as she walks over and she's just like
01:16:35
Speaker
She thinks of all telling her that it took a long time to write this one because she had to find the courage to write it. And that she had a wonderful life before she became a mother. She knows that's a horrible thing to say. But she failed at it. She failed at her marriage. She failed her child. And a lot of terrible things happen. And this new book isn't a biography. It's fiction. Mostly fiction. Most of it's fiction.
01:16:56
Speaker
And if anyone has any questions, she'd be happy to answer them and they all immediately put up their hands, right? She's then signing books and thanking everybody and that Asian lady from before walks up and she says, my name's not Faith, it's Taki. And she's like, okay. And then gets her autograph and goes, I'm sorry, and leaves.
01:17:13
Speaker
And, uh, Arne comes up for a moment asking if she's ready to be done with this place. And they've got bigger cities to move on to. And, um, he's not very happy about how she portrayed him in her book. And then he calls her Mary Sue. I don't know why. And then he gets a phone call and steps outside. Oh, she gets a phone call and she steps outside to find Hart standing there.
Evie's New Life and Supernatural Queries
01:17:33
Speaker
Okay. And she tells him that he, or he's like, I like your new hair. And she hands him a check for, I want to save $50,000.
01:17:41
Speaker
What? Yeah. I, I, but it was really blurry. I just saw a five and a zero and then a bunch of little woohoo off the side. So I'm going to assume 50,000 and he's like, what? No, I can't. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe I should get into writing. You know? And he's like, yeah, I haven't been to Paris for a while. I don't fucking know. He's like, I'm mostly in New York right now. I don't know what happened. They're not together. They're not together anymore. I'm guessing they probably were both like,
01:18:05
Speaker
Some shit happened. We're gonna step away. Like just, you know, but they're not together anymore. And, but she asks them if he's seeing anybody and he says no and asks her if she's seeing anyone. And she's like, no, I don't think I'm going to elope anytime soon. Eloped? I don't know. Like, I don't know if she was trying to be funny or like, anyway. So she gives him a kiss on the cheek before telling him goodbye. Maybe they eloped.
01:18:26
Speaker
Maybe that's the joke. Maybe. Who knows? I don't know. I don't know anything about them. So later in Evie's apartment, she gets out of her bed and there's the bartender in her bed. Get it, get it, get it. Telling her that she's happy. Evie came back and Evie asks her what all happened in the mountains. You know, the bartender tells her it's better if you don't know, but we could always ask a Ouija board. And Evie insists that she saw her daughter though and asks if she could see her again. And the bartender says, maybe.
01:18:56
Speaker
And so later on, there's still more time. Later in the night, okay, everything I just told you, it gets weird from here on out. I don't like when you do that. Because of what? Everything that we just watched is the most comprehensive part of the movie. No, I'm in my hoodie. You can't tell me otherwise. Little like 10 upgrades. I gotta take a picture of that, that's funny.
01:19:27
Speaker
That's fucking hilarious. Okay. So later in that night, I don't know if it's that night or of a different night, Evie's standing at the bottom of a set of stairs and there's Karlov standing at the top of the stairs and they stare at each other. And then she goes up the steps, but we don't see her go up the steps. We just see her suddenly standing in front of him and then they stare at each other.
01:19:49
Speaker
like this far apart okay and then the screen fades oh he starts laughing and then the screen fades and Evie suddenly is standing in a room her old hair is back i don't know okay i don't know i i thought this was maybe like a vision she was having or some shit i don't like did the book signing not happen
01:20:11
Speaker
That fucking gif I keep sending you of that woman silently screaming, that was me through this whole movie. Okay. Okay. So she's suddenly standing in a room and there's Faith who runs up to hug her and she's like, oh, Faith, oh, blah, blah, blah. But then suddenly it's Carla hugging her and she's like, oh, get off of me. And then he shoves her onto a bed and we look off to the side and there's the bartender in kind of like a skimpy-ish dress just being like,
01:20:38
Speaker
What? Then a bald guy walks in the room and he puts a coat on Karlov and then he crawls on top of Eevee's. He's over her and he's like covering her mouth and he's like, shush, be quiet. And then everything goes black. She wakes up again later and Karlov is reading the books that she wrote.
01:20:56
Speaker
And he says that it's actually quite good. And that Margaret sends her condolences. Oh yes, that's right, Margaret's back. But she's on a worldwide press tour. Don't worry Evie, all of your words are going to be famous. Isn't that what you wanted?
01:21:12
Speaker
Eevee demands to know where she is and he says that she's in a little slice of his head that bends and it stretches but it remains a box. And then he wants to tell her a secret that because of her book all of the people of this little town are famous. And then there's flashes of faith reading the book, okay?
01:21:31
Speaker
But then you hear her saying, um, come play with me mommy, come play with me. But as you turn to see, it's the bartender sitting on the bed in her little skimpy dress mouthing the words of Faith's voice coming out of just being like, play with me mommy, play with me, which is the crayon.
01:21:49
Speaker
That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. This girl that I may be possibly banging. Yeah. The voice of my daughter coming at me. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, so yeah, so she gets up and
01:22:03
Speaker
She gets up in Evie's face and she's like, mmm, right? Mmm, her face again, okay? And says that the last time you showed your daughter any love was when she was dying in your arms. She was dying and you used it to marry him. You ruined his life. You ruined my life. She asked how Evie knows what's real and what's not and she starts talking mad shit. How Evie never actually loved her daughter or her heart. She barely even knew her daughter. All she cared about was writing. She never looked after her.
01:22:33
Speaker
She was wasting away while Evie wrote her book, and Evie cries, she's not her daughter, she's not! Like, you're not my daughter, you're not!
01:22:42
Speaker
and then everything goes dark. And suddenly Evie is sitting in her car with Heart, where they're pulled off to the side of the road towards the beginning of the movie. And she's like, he's like, hey, are you okay? Like, are we, we got a job to do? Let's get going, get back on the road. And she's just like, oh, it was all a dream, but it wasn't a dream because suddenly it flashes to Heart sitting there next to her being like, Evie, the hospital, we gotta get to the hospital. Cause he's bleeding out. And she's just like, oh no.
01:23:07
Speaker
Cause she stabbed him. Okay. Okay. So like, it's like, they're still in the car. They're still on that same side of the road, but he's now in a different jacket and bleeding out and stuff. Okay. And she's like, Oh no. And he pulls a rope out and wraps it around her throat and it's like choking her out. Okay. No. Okay. And so, um, yeah. And then while the bartender on Karloff are just laughing and then heart is standing there.
01:23:35
Speaker
And he's looking out of bed as Evie's sitting on the bed with a noose tied around her throat. And she's just like, very dead. He's then standing with a medical examiner who yanks down a cover showing him that it is Evie and that she's got the like- Those look at your marks and stuff, right?
01:23:52
Speaker
And she's like, is this good enough? You know, this is what photos are for. And he's like, I just wanted to
Town's Dark Tourism and Podcast Sign-off
01:23:57
Speaker
see her. And she goes, well, you could have seen her at the funeral home all done up and pretty. And he just kind of looks at her like, you're fucking rude. And she's like, oh, make a complaint. I have actual victims that I need to like investigate and stuff or like examine, you know, rape, battery, domestic violence. I had a kid in here this week.
01:24:16
Speaker
Now she gets shit like this and he's like, shit like what? She's like, suicides. She says this is a complete, she's like super mad about it and stuff, right? She's like, this is your tax dollars at work. She's not even worth opening up. Okay. Oh my gosh. There's a dead human on your table. I hate to miss you anyway. So Hart just kind of like stares at her for a really long time.
01:24:36
Speaker
And he says that he was there. And she says, I don't want to hear about your sad story. And he's like, OK, thanks. And then leaves. And he looks so lost for Lauren when suddenly the bartender is standing in the hallway. And she tries to jump his bones while he's standing. She just gets up on him and he shoves her off. And he's like, got her against the wall. And he's like, ugh. Just like, you. Just get her hot and heavy. What are you doing? And she's like, um.
01:25:03
Speaker
She's like, she sacrificed herself for you. Don't waste it on little old me. Okay. And then he's like, what do you want? And she holds up the book that Evie had written and she opens it up and there's a check for $50,000 in it. And she goes, we're not evil, but he crumbles it up. I don't know what's happening. Okay. Don't give me that look cause I don't know. Okay. I'm giving you.
01:25:32
Speaker
play by play everything I'm saying is what they've said okay and the bartender says that that that Eva would want you to have that money and she wrote her masterpiece because of me because of Karlov and he never gave her anything and he says that he saved her daughter I don't know okay she cackles at him she says that she was dead when we met
01:25:56
Speaker
I don't know what that means. And he demands to know if this is what this check is for, to keep him quiet. Because that's not gonna happen. He's gonna tell everyone. He then demands to know how many people they've killed. And she says they kill themselves. I heard your little friend over there.
01:26:10
Speaker
Okay. She then says that if he wants to spend the rest of his life decorating a padded wall to go ahead and tell the world about them, he has no evidence and they have all the money. And he's boring her and she leaves as she's like stuffing the check back in his pocket. Okay. And later we see two couples getting out of their car, excitedly going to the cabin as rock music plays and the camera zooms away. The end.
01:26:37
Speaker
You think I'm joking? I don't. You think I wrote this myself? No, because I know you would write better. Thank you! But I'm just like...
01:26:45
Speaker
What? Everything I told you before that 20 minute mark, doesn't all of that make sense? Every single instant I was like, yeah, that all makes absolute sense now. Every minute of that movie, I was like, yep. Yeah, I know exactly what they're talking about. That makes, yeah. I'm frustrated that other movies exist in the same world that this movie exists. Okay, so wait, is Karlov alive?
01:27:16
Speaker
Okay, Margaret is now parading as Evie on tour. I don't understand why any of them care to do what they're doing. Does people dying maybe give them
01:27:39
Speaker
Clearly it seems like the town made money. So I'm guessing what they were trying to go for was that they had lured these people here in the way that a lot of other people are like, oh, this place is haunted. We'll pay you to come here. Right. So that's what they did. And because she wrote about the town, now people are coming to the town. So people are making money from the town because the town is now famous because of her book. But I think, I'm thinking,
01:28:07
Speaker
of a plot and they didn't. Because when did she write the book? After the events, but also her hair. I'm thinking if Margaret is parading as her, maybe that's why there's a wig involved.
01:28:25
Speaker
But that's not her. How do we know? They just said that she was touring the world. But it's not. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because there would have to be a plot to this movie. There would have had to have been comprehensive moments where they sat down and said, ah, this is a movie I'm going to write.
01:28:42
Speaker
And also, how did she write a book if none of it happened, but all of it happened? But all of it happened? I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea. I'm guessing it all happened? And what I'm guessing is it wasn't actually ghosts. I think he was an illusionist and he was fucking with them. But is he alive or dead? But is- I don't know. Because I thought you were gonna pull a living in the walls bullshit or something. That's what I- You would've been better. But like- But not. But not.
01:29:06
Speaker
but like when he was like you're in a part of my mind I was like okay so so that's after she killed herself and now she gets to live on with her daughter but also the bartender is there I have no idea I have no idea if anyone wants to go watch this movie on Tubi and correct me please do please do please email us and say Alyssa you're stupid you misunderstood the whole movie what the heck
01:29:31
Speaker
I'm sorry. Thank you. Cause honestly, like, the way you were describing it and the way I was picturing it was much better acted than what you showed me. Which, ow. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's alright. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. So what are your scores? Zero's across the board, except for Hart. He did pretty good. Um, he was decent, actually. Um, not the best, but not the worst. He was okay.
01:29:59
Speaker
The cinematography was bad, the plot was bad, the music was horrible, the special effects were terrible.
01:30:08
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Was the editing good? No, it wasn't good because it kept jumping timeskiing. Like just, it was just scene jumping. Yeah. Minutes were passing in between. Like, which is fine, especially, like it can happen. That's totally fine if you do it correctly. Yeah. I don't, but the script was so bad. The script was so bad. They were saying things that humans would not say. I hate that. It's the worst. I don't understand. Is it worse than doll face?
01:30:38
Speaker
It's pretty unhinged. They are too, like, here's a doll face is so fucking weird. Yeah. This one. They tried. They, no, I don't know. I can't tell you which is worse. Honestly, I really can't at this point. Well, I'm saying like this one almost seems worse because they tried. Like they were attempting to write a movie. And this one was just like, I'm just writing nonsense. But this was nonsense.
01:31:04
Speaker
like they they thought that they had a plot was the acting better or worse than grim woods better that's good yeah heart was better and the bartender she was okay that's good like she was in her all like we're not evil kind of khaki little like she was into it like she was making her paycheck so okay yeah
01:31:29
Speaker
little ASMR finger-papping for you and little babies. She's delirious now. Okay, well... Did a heart save the daughter? I don't think so. What happened? I want to watch the trailer.
01:31:49
Speaker
I don't think there was a trailer on 2B. I'm not sure. There might be one on like YouTube or something. What the hell is this called? The third guest. Like who was the third guest? Who was it? Our daughter? I don't know. Exactly. I have no fucking clue. You find it? Yeah. Okay. You got her the paycheck? Pretty. Paul wants to settle though, right? Paul said the stuff about Marcus did.
01:32:20
Speaker
What do you think is up with Carla? There's people keeping that car out? Come on. We need the money. Yeah, they're still like the air girls. I should have never called. Then why are you here? I'm here to help. You're not the finest. The brightest. I was going to say, honestly, you should have done that. For me. For me about what? Right.
01:32:50
Speaker
Everyone. Everything. I just really want to leave. Look at that carpet. It's fun. I was literally driving all morning with all this fun. This is what he said joke on us. He said joke on us. There is something off about that house.
01:33:29
Speaker
Why are you doing this to us? Get back here, Phoebe! Why are we still here? Oh my god, please. Oh my god. Oh my god. That fucking mirror thing, I don't know what it is.
01:33:52
Speaker
That made that look like a good movie. I was gonna say that looks dumb, but not as dumb as what you just told us. Yep. That looks like a decent movie. Sorry, there was another second left. Okay. Um. Yeah. So. Okay. Well. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry to all of you. Yeah. But I was fucking entertained, so. This is cute.
01:34:20
Speaker
Everybody loves big movie patches. So hopefully yeah, that's true. Hopefully they love this one because that was That was tough. That was a tough one again. I know I always say like oh man, this is hard, but this one was hard I'm just like oh man, that's so stupid all that was so stupid and stuff this one I just don't understand no
01:34:45
Speaker
I just don't understand. And like a lot of them, I know I say like, I don't know, I don't fucking know, but at least there was an attempt to make it slightly comprehensive. Yeah. No. I don't know what happened to this movie. I have no idea. Okay. I appreciate you. Thank you. I appreciate you, Shannon, for listening to that. We love you. Yeah. I appreciate all of you for listening to that. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening. And my dog being a whiny ass bitch. You're adopted. Cry about that.
01:35:16
Speaker
Anyway, so thanks for listening. We love you. Have a great time. Oh, I love you too. Have a great time.
01:35:25
Speaker
Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode. Let us know what you think by commenting on Instagram and TikTok, or emailing us at bmoviebashpodcast at gmail.com. You can listen to our episodes on all of your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and so many more. If you want to support the podcast, you can find our coffee donation link in the episode description, or check out one of our awesome sponsors. And as always, make sure to like, subscribe, and tell your friends.
01:35:53
Speaker
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