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00:00:01
Wait.... Why Did I walk In Here Again?
21 Plays2 days ago
You walk into a room. You know you came in for something important. And then… poof. Gone. You stand there blankly, questioning everything from your memory to your hormones to your life choices.
Welcome to the club.
In this episode, Chauntel and I are talking about why your brain forgets things the moment you cross a doorway — and why it’s probably not early dementia, but a delightful cocktail of stress, exhaustion, and hormones.
We’ll unpack the “doorway effect,” menopause brain fog, and the crushing mental load that makes even simple thoughts vanish. And we’ll laugh about it, because what else are we gonna do? Cry? (Actually, yes — but that’s the hormones, too.)
So grab your drink of choice — coffee, wine, electrolyte water — and join me in the fog. We’ll find our way out together… eventually.
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Transcript
Why do we forget our purpose in a room?
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to Exhausted Sparrows Unite. I'm Krista Jones with my co-host Chantel Schaefer. And today we're going to talk about all those times that you walk in a room with purpose, confidence, determination, and halfway through you think,
00:00:25
Speaker
Why the heck am I here? Then you stand there, look at the walls, trying to stare to remind yourself, what in the world did you just walk into and why?
00:00:36
Speaker
Because we've all done it. I've done it most of my life. Lately, for me, it's happening way more
Is forgetfulness linked to aging and hormones?
00:00:42
Speaker
often. But... Here's the great news. After doing some research on this, i have come to this great realization that maybe I'm not completely losing my mind.
00:00:54
Speaker
Maybe I'm just losing some estrogen. is not.
00:01:01
Speaker
a segment about menopause, but about all different times of our life. And we will hit on menopause, ladies and gentlemen, that you walk and forget things and why you do it and how crazy it seems and how you no longer have to be creeks Welcome. We hope to you guys are ready to buckle in and all say, i can identify with that because there's something in here, I think today for everybody.
00:01:30
Speaker
Everybody. Everybody. Whether you're ah busy parent, whether your job keeps you crazy, whether you really are losing estrogen and it's just seeping out your pores.
00:01:46
Speaker
Might be only one of us in the room here. Whatever it is, there are times in our lives, like throughout most of our life, I feel that we forget things.
00:01:57
Speaker
Oh, I forget
How do modern life and technology affect memory?
00:01:58
Speaker
things all the time. All the time. And then sometimes I think we worry about this, right? Like I really, in the last year or two, have been like something medically is definitely wrong with me. So I keep going back to the doctor and she's like, no, you're okay.
00:02:15
Speaker
You're just getting a little older. and I'm like, great, that's fantastic. But I think we all think like we have this memory loss and we really have like memory overload, right?
00:02:27
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's a good way to put it. There's just so much going on. So much going on. Way more now than ever before. oh gosh, way more. Right? I feel like i've i've I felt like as I got older and my kids got older that it was going to get easier.
00:02:42
Speaker
And it's just so much harder. There's so much more happening. Right. And I feel like the life that we're living... is even more congested than the life our parents were living.
00:02:54
Speaker
And you know, every generation says that, but I i think with technology and like with all this stuff, like it just gets harder and harder because, you know, you're expected to be more efficient and more efficient and people are expected to just keep dumping things on you and you're supposed to take it.
00:03:09
Speaker
And like, it is humanly impossible Yeah, our brains can only take so much. they can. And when you multitask, especially, your brain is constantly switching between tasks, which means your your energy is switching, right? Your attention is switching because you're on one task and now you're moving to another and you need a second to figure out that task.
00:03:33
Speaker
And then you're moving back. So I think sometimes that's the problem. We're in a society that multitask.
What are the impacts of multitasking and distractions?
00:03:40
Speaker
Although I find I do this a lot when I'm cleaning, like I'll be like, I'm going to start and I'm going to do the kitchen. And then I find some of the kids stuff and I move that into their room. i'm like, oh my gosh, it's a disaster. Then I start picking up their room. I'm like, oh, their laundry needs to be done. And then I'm putting laundry in. And then at the end of the day, the kitchen's not done. And that's where I started.
00:03:59
Speaker
And your husband comes home and Jeremiah says, why is dinner not on the table? Oh no, dinner's always on the table. Okay. that That's always done, but the kitchen is a disaster. The kitchen is a disaster and then he cleans it for you. So it's all good. Absolutely not.
00:04:14
Speaker
So short-term memory is easily disrupted when we like jiggle too much information, right? And if you think about it, I kind of long for the days when our parents were growing up.
00:04:25
Speaker
It really was more simple. And when we think of all this stuff, like there's a huge rise in constant distraction because we not only have things like normal phones in the house, but we have cell phones, which now have notifications that are going off like 50 times a day, right?
00:04:46
Speaker
We have work because most women work outside the home now where they didn't you know, 30 years ago, that wasn't quite as common. And while we have work, we talked about this a few episodes ago, we still have everything that makes us a mom that is still usually on our plate. And like, there's all these different things. And then you throw in things like,
00:05:08
Speaker
perimenopause and postmenopause and menopause, any kind of pause.
What is the 'doorway effect'?
00:05:12
Speaker
And you're not pausing at all. Like you're depleting your body of all this stuff, but you're still multitasking.
00:05:18
Speaker
I really liked how you did that. That was great. The pausing? The pausing. It's like this doorway effect. That's what my mom used to say about it. Like... My mom used to say to me, when you walk through a door, it like signals your brain that you've changed environments and that causes like some short-term memory loss.
00:05:41
Speaker
Is that why I walk in a room and I'm like, who am i What day is it? And why am I here? Yeah. What did I walk in here for? My mom says that all the time because, you know, she used to do that. And she's like, oh, all the time. She's like, it's the doorway effect. And I'm like, okay.
00:05:55
Speaker
and And it makes sense, though, because you're in your environment in whatever your office And then you're like, oh, I really need a snack. and You're walking to get the snack. And then, you know, i don't know, your financial director is like, hey, could you sign this check?
00:06:10
Speaker
And then you finally get back like to the room and then you're like, why am I here?
How does neglecting basic needs affect us?
00:06:15
Speaker
And then you have no snack. Which happens to me every day. All the time. Which is why which is why i have bought myself my own water.
00:06:25
Speaker
Wait, wait. I have some cheese cheese corn doodly things up in the um up in my desk drawer. butt But I bought myself my own water because this is true.
00:06:37
Speaker
I forget that I'm walking to get the water and I'm so parched by the end of the day. So I bought myself water. i bomb my own water with, and then I put a lemon in it and I filled up my water and I forgot that my water, was my water is right in front of my face.
00:06:55
Speaker
And I forgot that my water was there. And today Shantel comes in and she's like, there's mold floating in your water because i even forgot the water that is in front of my face. Even though I'm saying I'm so parched. You know we're going to do? We're going take a picture of where Chris's water was in relation to where she sits.
00:07:20
Speaker
I am just that... I just have that much going on. Now, at one time, i would have thought medically, i have an issue, but now... I'd like to think that that is just because there's a lot going on in the world and we're all trying to multitask.
Is multitasking like having too many browser tabs open?
00:07:33
Speaker
We've done segments on multitasking, but you know, when we were talking about this, Chantel is like, what? Cause she walked in the door just a few weeks and she's just staring at me. And I'm like, what is it? She's like, no idea.
00:07:45
Speaker
and I'm like, how many times do we do this in a day? She's like, this needs to be a podcast. I'm like, it does because it's like a real thing. And I think, you know, we joke about it and stuff, but it is frustrating.
00:07:57
Speaker
It's so frustrating because you waste so much time trying to figure out what your intention was. Right. it's It's a brain fog. Yeah. And, you know, it's like this mental load. We did segments on this. You guys can go back and hear that segment because mental load a lot of times is all the invisible things.
00:08:14
Speaker
like we think, oh, there's not that much going on. I don't have a project due or my kids don't have an orchestra concert, but it's really not that. It's it's all the stuff that is like um in the back of your brain that is, you know, still going. Like, you know, your phone is still going and apps are still running even when like you're not on them. It's like,
00:08:36
Speaker
what am I going to make for dinner? And, you know, i I need to work out today. And when am I going to get like all that stuff that you don't realize is really going on the back of your brain, which is mentally exhausting.
00:08:50
Speaker
Yeah,
How does caregiving affect mental load?
00:08:51
Speaker
it's all of those. I like, I like, I think of it as hold on, hold on. i think of his I think of it as my my browser. like i yeah my My kids give me such a hard time about the number of tabs I have open in my browser on my phone. And they're like, mom, I'm like, I don't want to forget anything.
00:09:10
Speaker
But my brain can't handle that many open tabs in real life. Like my real brain cannot handle the 800 open tabs. But think about your cell phone. You drain your battery by having 47 open tabs on your phone as well. It's not meant to work right.
00:09:28
Speaker
And I guess that's why my brain doesn't work right. I mean, listen, I don't think that's true. I think you have a very cute brain and I think it works okay. But... You know, and that is just one of the many things that can trip us up.
00:09:42
Speaker
Like other things, you know, we're talking about kids and stuff, but let's just talk about caregiving in general. You know, we have a charity here. but It's called Sparrows Nest of the Hudson Valley. And if you don't know anything about us, go to sparrowsnestcharity.org.
00:09:57
Speaker
And we feed cancer patients. We feed moms and dads and children and senior citizens. We are in four different counties here in the Hudson Valley. And so we are in the business of caregiving.
00:10:10
Speaker
We're not only caring for cancer patients that need our help, but we're in constant contact with the people that care for them. And we're in this society of caregiving, right?
00:10:22
Speaker
Because i think too, for me, what I'm noticing is I'm done caring for my children. And now my parents are at an age where I'm about to start caring for them.
00:10:34
Speaker
And that whole caregiving thing is also like this big constant load because that's not something you can just stop. You know, we we did a few segments on that too in a couple episodes back, just about what caregiving does to the body as well.
00:10:50
Speaker
And so that is another way that we're clogging up our brain and our memory and we just can't remember what we're doing. Yeah, and if we're not taking care of ourselves and we're not closing some of those tabs to recharge or refresh, we're in this constant state of buffering,
What does it feel like to be in a state of buffering?
00:11:07
Speaker
you know?
00:11:07
Speaker
Right. That's how I feel. Like, I walk into room and it's like that spinning circle. Yeah. Like, why? Because you have to adjust. Yes. And if you stare at the wall hard enough. Sometimes i just stare at Chantel so creepily because, i like, I lose words.
00:11:21
Speaker
Like, I'm trying to think of what I walked in the room to tell her. I'm trying to think of something. Like, right? I give you, like, the Cheshire Cat creepy stare. Yeah, and it's like I can see i can we see the buffering happening, spinning circle of doom. And then I stutter. I'll be like, uh-uh-uh.
00:11:41
Speaker
And you're also trying to kind of think what hat you have on, right? Like, am I in the room as a business person? Am I in the room as a friend? Because I want to tell you about you know the latest episode of Unicorn Girl, which, by the way, really good.
00:11:54
Speaker
Like, you You know, there's so many different things and I'm trying to figure out what in the world am I in here for? Well, and it's also not good that, that you and I squirrel hard.
00:12:04
Speaker
Really bad. Really bad. I'm going to put something out there to our listening audience. I don't think you were that bad of a squirreler until you started working here. Yeah, I can agree with that.
00:12:16
Speaker
Okay. And isn't it exhausting? It's so exhausting. But I also do feel like I get a lot of stuff done. Yes. It's just stressful in the moment because I used to be a person that I would sit down and I would complete a task and then I'd move on.
00:12:30
Speaker
And now it's all those open projects that need completion. Right. Right. You do it very well. You handle up very well. I would i would i would never know that it's that it's stressful for you at all.
00:12:43
Speaker
I just smile and nod. But I do want to talk about this is not really
What is the 'hormonal hurricane' of menopause?
00:12:51
Speaker
affecting you Right. though you are becoming of an age where you could be a Perry, but... Is that the shirt? I could be a Perry? You could be a Perry. P-E-R-I. I could be a Perry.
00:13:05
Speaker
I could be a Perry or a Menno or a Posto. i don't know, but... I feel that menopause is like 20 years of your life. I feel like as soon as you turn 40, people go, oh, perimenopause is coming.
00:13:20
Speaker
And then you're like, oh, okay. And then like you think, I don't know. And then they're like, oh no, that's four years. then you have menopause. And then you would think menopause means like you're in it and then you're done.
00:13:31
Speaker
But then there's a post menopause. I don't know. But there's a lot going on there. It is a hormonal hurricane. That is what that is. And it takes up a lot of life, especially as a woman.
00:13:41
Speaker
So I think as you get into your 40s and your 50s and your 60s, I'm sorry, Chantel has this look of shirt hair on her face. That's a lot of years my life.
00:13:55
Speaker
And this hormonal hurricane, like hormones have a lot to say about how your brain functions. And menopause turns the volume up to 11. If 10 is the highest, you're an 11 now.
00:14:07
Speaker
Great. So it's because of estrogen and it's seeping out of your pores and everything like that. But... When you have those moments like, why am I standing in the room?
00:14:17
Speaker
What in the world am I doing? And, you know, you have to add into that the fact that you're now a little bit unpredictable and emotional and often full of surprises. You could say that about me. It's probably true. Well, that's pleasant. Full of surprises. I like that. I don't think they're good surprises at all.
00:14:33
Speaker
But, you know, when you have all of that to do, you have to sort of figure out now, what do I do with that, right? Because a lot of people have to take medication to get that stuff under control.
00:14:44
Speaker
Well, hormones are serious. I mean, after I had my kids, mine went completely out of control and I had to go on medication to bring them down to a stable level. I was a wreck. Right. and And how do you, you know, get out of that? if you If you're not taking medication, you know, there's exercise and there's things like that, but let's talk about that too.
00:15:02
Speaker
People will say to me, Just exercise a little more, you know, lift barbells instead of dumbbells, which we will talk about at some point because they do believe that in the menopausal world that that really can help when you're you're struggling with, you know, the big old tire that's now around your stomach. but um then Then it's like it's this big, like ah it's it's like a wheel.
00:15:25
Speaker
I'm like, well, that's great. But when do you expect me to exercise? You know, I only have so many hours in a day. And, you know, there's there's all these things and there's all these articles. Some people are telling you that you need to take magnesium.
00:15:37
Speaker
Some people are telling you don't take magnesium, you know, and you're trying to figure all this out. but it absolutely has a lot to do with your hormones. So when you get into this perimenopausal menopausal state, right?
00:15:52
Speaker
I think you kind of, part of you has to say, this is just a part of the process. Right. I can't beat myself up. This is part of the process. I'm not losing my mind. I do often say, do I have early dementia? Because I really do at times feel, oh my gosh, like I'm not remembering words. And you know, there's certain signs to dementia as well, right?
00:16:14
Speaker
But you know, i think a quick visit to your doctor is really important too, so that you can kind of lay all this stuff out there, let them do blood work, and then kind of let them tell you where you are. Because Then part of the problem is when you become anxious, making up all this stuff up and thinking I have something medically wrong with you, it just really makes symptoms worse. Oh, yeah.
00:16:35
Speaker
And it's easier when a doctor says to you, listen, this is normal. Here's some things that you can do to combat it. You can take drugs or whatever you you know need to do to get yourself back in line with where you need to be. But it's also okay.
00:16:49
Speaker
I think also talking to to your friends, talk to your people about it. I mean, I know what happens to you. I know it happens to, you know, to other people in my life, which has made me feel a little more comfortable with it.
00:17:00
Speaker
You know, if I know that all of us of a certain age are experiencing this brain fog, I feel a little better that this is a, this is another stage. This is just another part of being 40. 40.
00:17:14
Speaker
forty Ish. Close. I mean, you're not there yet. You're still a little baby. I am not a little baby. I mean, but that makes, I mean, that that's true, right? Being able to talk to other people about it and to go through all of this. And, you know, we make light of this. Like, why did I walk into a room?
00:17:34
Speaker
Because, you know, I mean, that's what we do on this podcast. But, you know, there is a seriousness to that that makes you think, oh my gosh, am I really losing it? Because those are the things, right, that should be the easiest to say,
00:17:49
Speaker
You know, why I walked in the room. Like, then you start spiraling. Wolf, I'm forgetting that. Just why I'm walking in the room. What else in the world am I forgetting and not picking up on? But, you know, you're okay. Yeah.
00:18:01
Speaker
And I think that that is the bottom line. You are okay and you are not alone. And even though sometimes you can't control ah fog because you're in a stressful part of your life, right?
00:18:14
Speaker
I feel there's seasons to life. I feel that... getting married was amazing. And then, you know, we started having babies and you two and your children are relatively close together too, you know, and it's like you get one out of diapers and then you're pregnant with another one. And, and then it's, it's crazy.
00:18:32
Speaker
And then they get a little bit older and, you know, they're able to watch themselves and you don't need babysitters anymore. And then you feel like maybe it's okay. And then you know, they're in dance and all this stuff your kids are doing and then it's stressful again. So it's kind of like a roller coaster, but there's, yeah, there are valleys, but there are plenty of peaks too.
00:18:53
Speaker
And I think you've got to be able to balance that, right? And realize that it's a season. Does that make sense? Oh, absolutely.
00:19:04
Speaker
I mean, every season has its hard points. But you're always going to make it through.
How do nutrition and sleep influence mental clarity?
00:19:10
Speaker
Yeah, you're going to make it through. And sleep is a big thing. i mean, I don't know that we stress that enough here.
00:19:17
Speaker
Sleep is a really big thing. And you know, when you're older, a lot of women can attest to the fact that they can't really sleep. And a lot of that is menopausal. You're up every couple hours and you're doing things.
00:19:28
Speaker
But sleep in uninterrupted sleep. is really, really important, you know, because then that changes everything, right? You're able to get some rest, you're refreshed, you wake up, you can close down half of the 47 tabs that you have open on your brain.
00:19:48
Speaker
And you're able to rejuvenate. If you don't sleep, you're more emotional. You're likely to make mistakes. You're likely to be more anxious, right? yeah And if you're not sleeping, you're potentially not eating.
00:20:03
Speaker
And at different times in our life, some of us stress eat. So we think, oh gosh, I can't really eat. I know that I stress eat, but not eating isn't good for you either. You need to fuel your body with good foods because that's also fueling your brain.
00:20:17
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's all connected, right? It's all connected. And there's a lot to say about foods that you should eat and not eat. You can Google it. It's really, you know, super foods, foods that are high in antioxidants.
00:20:28
Speaker
Really, they say that it gives you this great brain power. Like it's not a joke. Don't dismiss that. Those are foods that you should go to. Should you go to a donut that has Kit Kats and Reese's peanut butter cups Sometimes.
00:20:43
Speaker
Sometimes. Sometimes. But is that the best thing to do when you can't remember if you're walking into a room? No. You know, carbs and things like that, that are not complex carbs, but carbs that are sugary and all of that, that is also junk on your brain. So what you eat is important too,
Why are routines important for mental stability?
00:21:00
Speaker
right? Movement is important. Like I said that earlier, like you should get out there and you should walk. Dopamine is a real thing.
00:21:08
Speaker
And if you can do something for 21 days, you can create a habit. All of us have 45 minutes in our day that we can get out there and at least walk. You may not have the money to join a gym.
00:21:20
Speaker
You may not have a lot of time in your life, but you can literally get outside your door unless you live on a freeway. That's a little dangerous, but you can literally leave your house, take a 45 minute walk and You know, and you may have to do that at 5 a.m. m That's when I have to do mine.
00:21:35
Speaker
And I'm cold. But after 21 days, right, sticking with it, then I started saying, I miss it if I'm not doing it. Yeah, there's this group of people in my neighborhood.
00:21:47
Speaker
They're, don't know, 50s, somewhere in there. And they walk every single, every day, unless it's raining. I don't see them when it's raining. And they are always smiling. They're out there 7 a.m. m Yeah. And they just look happy.
00:21:59
Speaker
Yeah. And they're out there every day. And you just made a great point there with a bunch of friends, which, you know, makes your dopamine levels go through the roof. Yeah. And what's really cool is I've watched this group grow. So it was like three or four little ladies. And then all of a sudden a man joined and then somebody's son is now pushing a baby in a stroller with them some days. Like it's been really, really cool. And i' I'm and guessing that they share how much this meet up and walk means to them and how much it starts their day off on the right foot. And yeah and they've just grown and they're all happy.
00:22:33
Speaker
And they're all happy. They're all happy. You just got to find movement. Maybe movement is with your kids. yeah Maybe you turn on, what is it, the we? where they have like the dance party stuff. Like, I don't know, maybe you are putting 20 minutes of fast music on and you have toddlers, so you don't have a lot of time, but you're like, let's dance. You know, kids love mom time and dad time and all this great, you know, all time with their parents, like whatever that looks like getting out there and getting some kind of movement in is really, really important.
00:23:05
Speaker
and writing it down. So I have learned to immediately do whatever it is I need to do. So if somebody calls and says, hey, um i have a friend that is sick on the phone, I'll immediately do it. or if you and I are talking, Chantel, I will sticky note it immediately so it's in front of me.
00:23:28
Speaker
Writing it down does not mean that that's a weakness. Most of us have to write things down or we're going to forget it Can I just testify to Krista's use of sticky notes?
00:23:39
Speaker
There's probably, I don't even know, 25, 30 sticky notes. But like she'll go, it's an orange sticky note and it says, you know, Mark McDonald on it. And I'm like, you're out of your mind. And there it is right there with the note and the phone number. And she goes, there's my contact.
00:23:55
Speaker
Yeah. But it's, it's real. For some people, they would twitch over that, right? My way of doing things wouldn't be everybody's way of doing things. But I also have this notebook that you started using too. yeah It's a 10 subject notebook and it's like, whatever, it could be work, personal life, ah kids, and you can write in different little subjects.
00:24:16
Speaker
We all miss little subject notebooks when we were in school, don't we? I wish I could find a Lisa Frank one. miss my Lisa Frank notebook. Like Trapper Keeper. You have to bring one in. We have to we'll find you one.
00:24:28
Speaker
Oh, we'll find has to dolphins on it. We'll find Oh, with dolphins. Okay. Okay. Well, if anybody has one with dolphins, we'll take it here. We'll give you the address. No, no, we won't. But you have to write it down and you can't um feel bad about that. I think, right?
How can lists and sticky notes aid organization?
00:24:41
Speaker
Because list, are actually proof that you are organized. Even if it's a sticky note and there's seven of them, there's organization there and you're looking at it and then you're reminding yourself and you're remembering it, which leads me to routines.
00:24:57
Speaker
Routines are really important. Mm-hmm. I know that every day is different around here. We never know what we're walking into. We write a list of what we're going to do. And if I accomplish two things on the list by the end of the day, I've had myself in the back now. But getting a routine is important because it's less for your brain to juggle.
00:25:14
Speaker
So like my routines every morning I'm up about 4.15. I'm usually at five o'clock, you know, doing my workouts. I have a drink. I drink my vitamin C drink because I believe ever since COVID, I really don't get sick.
00:25:28
Speaker
And I think that's why I don't get sick. Knock on wood. That was not my head. And you know what I mean? Like whatever, maybe two eggs and a piece of sausage and you eat that every morning. Like it can be something that simple that you have a routine.
00:25:41
Speaker
There's things that you know, there's things that you do, whatever that looks like. That is a pattern that you keep repeating and that helps you. That actually gives you their brains like, oh, for this hour, I know what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:25:55
Speaker
I don't have to worry about this. Yeah. Less exhausting. Yeah. I find the weeks that like my kids have random stuff happening after school. They, those weeks throw me off the most because it's out of my routine.
00:26:07
Speaker
isn It makes sense. Right. And I think none of us want to feel disoriented. Right. But I think the best way for us to feel that we have control is to figure out what works for us.
00:26:24
Speaker
It's just that simple. And I know that that doesn't sound that simple at all, but also laughter. You were talking about that little group that meets, right? And the
Can laughter relieve stress and improve clarity?
00:26:34
Speaker
laughter.
00:26:34
Speaker
And laughter actually helps to drop cortisol levels. We talk about cortisol on this podcast a lot because that is your stress inducing levels that you don't want to reach.
00:26:48
Speaker
You don't want fight or flight. You are doing everything in your power not to get there, walking it out the best way you can because none of us are perfect. Laughter, I don't care how you get it And if, you know, you don't have a lot of friends, you're in a season of your life where there's a lot of tough things around you, a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, death, you know, whatever that may look like, figure out something. I don't care if you go and see a comedian that you love or you put on a movie or maybe you have to read dad jokes, which are just dumb. They're hilarious.
00:27:23
Speaker
I think you sent me one last week. I can't remember, but they're just so dumb. They're just funny. You need laughter because laughter helps to balance your hormones, which gives your brain a break, which lifts the fog that you're feeling and gives you a little bit of your clarity back.
00:27:43
Speaker
It's always good to end the day with laughter. I mean, I say you should be laughing every hour. We should put it on the calendar. Just not add other people. We should. We should put it so that like like it buzzes us. And then you just have to laugh.
00:27:57
Speaker
Like all a sudden randomly all us, oh, that would be fun. That would be fun. would be fun. And then when you hear other people laugh, I don't know, I just laugh. yeah It's hard not to. Yes.
00:28:08
Speaker
and And that's not always the best in some situations. Oh, no. What would be a bad situation if people are laughing for you? Do you have any? Well, it might have been my grandmother's funeral.
00:28:20
Speaker
Oh, but, but I love that. I love the funerals that you can go into and feel light and joy that somebody has lived a good life. It was a very solemn Catholic funeral. Okay. But there was some little kids in the room and they were having a grand old time. and Okay. I couldn't help myself. I could, they were just so joyous.
00:28:42
Speaker
But in the moment of sadness, you had that and that was a nice break. Yeah. Right? Because that is sad, but there's a break in the middle of that. And we have to look for that. Even if we can't find it from other people, there's plenty of sources we can find it from because we deserve to lift the fog.
00:28:59
Speaker
And I think part of doing that is we have to stop being so hard on ourselves. Yeah. When you walk in a room and you don't remember what for, go back out. You'll think of it eventually.
00:29:10
Speaker
Or maybe just go in the room and sit there Indian style and go, hmm. That'll make you laugh. I mean, i we just got to give ourselves a break. And I think that that's important to say. And that really is the entire reason that this podcast exists.
00:29:26
Speaker
Because, man, and I watch my friends, Chantal and I talk about it all the time. My staff, every volunteer. I watch people beat themselves up over things that I'm like, you are doing the best that you can do.
00:29:39
Speaker
And, you know, if you can't remember where your house is, that we might talk about, you know, like if you don't know how to get home, that might be concerning. But if you walk into a room and you're not exactly sure why you're there, like I feel like we got to give ourselves little bit of grace.
Why should we give ourselves grace for forgetfulness?
00:29:56
Speaker
Right? My favorite is when you are are looking for your phone and you're on it. Oh gosh, I do that all the time. do it all the time. You're not failing. You are a human. So the next time that you walk into that room and you forget exactly why you're there, maybe that's your cue to just stop and pause, right?
00:30:13
Speaker
Like maybe you didn't forget anything. Maybe your brain is like, slow it down, sister. You need a second to regroup, whether it's stress or hormones, or it's the sheer weight of being a human being in the 21st century, you're doing great.
00:30:27
Speaker
Your brain's just tired. It's not broken. Sometimes you got to give it grace and you just got to rest yourself and maybe give it some chocolate too.
Conclusion and charity encouragement
00:30:36
Speaker
That's that's what I do. I think like a snickerdoodle chocolatey donut is the best way to do that.
00:30:42
Speaker
And if you do decide that you're going to get one of those, please take a picture of it for us. We would really love that. Thank you guys for tuning in to Exhausted Sparrows Unite. If you love our podcast, we are asking you to check us out at sparrowsnestcharity.org.
00:31:00
Speaker
And if I can find my phone, I'll remember to remind you guys again. Until next week, Chantel and I say be kind yourselves and each other.