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Your Inner Critic is a Terrible Life Coach
30 Plays4 days ago
That voice in your head — the one that tells you you’re not smart enough, strong enough, thin enough, good enough? It’s lying. In this episode of Exhausted Sparrows Unite, Krista and Chauntel break down where the inner critic comes from, why we believe it, and how to shut it up once and for all. Packed with science, stories, and practical tools, this episode will help you reclaim your worth and start speaking to yourself with the kindness you actually deserve.
You’ll Learn:
· Why your brain is wired for negativity (and how to fight back).
· How the inner critic sabotages your work, relationships, and confidence.
· Six tools to challenge the critic and practice self-compassion.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Exhausted Sparrows Unite'
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to Exhausted Sparrows Unite. I'm your host, Krista Jones, with my co-host, Chantelle Schaefer. And we get down to the nitty gritty, the real authentic
Understanding the Inner Critic
00:00:17
Speaker
us.
00:00:17
Speaker
Have you ever noticed that sometimes inside your head, it definitely doesn't sound like a cheerleader? You're not saying things like, you've got this, don't screw up.
00:00:29
Speaker
You're saying things like, I'm not good enough. Why do I even bother? The voice is loud, it's familiar, and we stop questioning it because I think sometimes we think it's really our voice, right?
00:00:41
Speaker
But here's the truth. It's not our voice. It's a liar. It's that invisible bully that robs us of confidence and joy and even our peace. And worst of all,
00:00:52
Speaker
We've been carrying it for so long that it's dangerous. It's chaotic. We're not just living with this inner critic. Now we're trying to survive with it. And we can relate to this. Chantel and I talk about this all the time. So we're going to pull the voice off, the mask off of that voice, because we know it's not
Chantel's Music and Racing Prep
00:01:12
Speaker
ours.
00:01:12
Speaker
We're looking at what it does to our brain, our body, and our future. And most importantly, we're going to learn how we take the mic back because you, you were never meant to be your own worst enemy.
00:01:31
Speaker
I have that song playing in my head right now. Which one? That I am my own worst enemy.
00:01:41
Speaker
Chantel just put a playlist together. We had to put a playlist together for this Ragnar race that we're doing. And i will say she has very eclectic taste. She's all over the place. That's me. I do like that song. And if we are ever on, you know, name that tune or I need a tune really quickly, you might win.
00:01:58
Speaker
It's like a constant jukebox in my head. I can pull out a song for pretty much anything. Yeah. Yep. All right. Well, if you'd like to sing it, maybe you could sing it in the outro. I don't know.
00:02:10
Speaker
Because i don't know if anybody wants to hear that. I mean, but they do because that's kind of the theme today that we are our own worst enemies.
Naming and Distancing the Inner Critic
00:02:17
Speaker
We talk about in every single episode that we do.
00:02:20
Speaker
something that makes us feel that we're not good enough, we're not worthy enough. We started when we started the podcast, it was like the whole premise that this was based on is that we're comparing ourselves, you know, ah we never think that we can do enough.
00:02:34
Speaker
And like we don't ever really name it. So today we're going to name it. It's our actual inner critic. And it actually every single one of us has it. Some of us are able to like taper that down more than others.
00:02:50
Speaker
But it's like our sub-personality. It's this mental voice that judges us and it demeans us. It's not a nice voice at all. um A lot of people call it our interjected belief system.
00:03:02
Speaker
That means that it's something borrowed. It's not innate. So it's like negative-based. And most of us have these thoughts at least 76 times her day In some way.
Frequency and Impact of Negative Thoughts
00:03:20
Speaker
How do you measure that? Well, I don't know how you measure I'm guessing people are like hooked up. This is according to the American Psychological Association. and I'm guessing like with this study, people are like hooked up. And I would think as we're going to get to when you're criticizing yourself and negative thoughts are going on in your head, your brain waves, like it's probably stress indicators, fire, or flight. We talk about that all the time.
00:03:46
Speaker
Like they're probably just hooking you up to something and seeing how many times in a day, like you're in distress. Yeah. That sounds like it would be very colorful. i feel like there would be a lot of action on that screen. I'd be like, oh, look, Chantel, she's at it again.
00:04:00
Speaker
and she's in the grocery store. What do you think her negative thought is right now? She can't pick out the mayo. Oh, I'm terrible at picking produce. Oh, is that a thing? yeah Okay.
00:04:11
Speaker
Tell me more about this. i mean, before we even go any further, your inner critic says and you suck at produce picking. Yeah. I just don't pick good produce. My husband, excellent. Like he can pick the best citrus fruit out of the entire box of citrus fruit.
00:04:27
Speaker
So like limes. Does your produce wilt quicker than his? It's usually bruised or I don't catch the moldy strawberry in the, you know, in the container before I bought it. And yeah.
00:04:41
Speaker
So yeah, that's my negative thoughts in the grocery store. I can't pick produce. So your inner critic, right, is like this mixtape of like a million other voices.
00:04:51
Speaker
It's like our personality disorder, right? It's like, um you know, when you have five or six different personalities and you, so, you know, Thelma, Louise, whoever they are in your head, I mean, they do say, you know, that you should name them. That is one of the tools that we'll talk about in a minute.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah. We'll get there in a minute. We're not even there yet That sounds like illness. We are first establishing that the fact that we even have 70 negative thoughts during the day about ourselves is mind blowing to me.
00:05:20
Speaker
i think though, some of us are just really good about kind of, you know, trying to damper it as it, as it comes up, but that is a lot of thoughts in one day to have about ourselves. And that is really sad that we can even pick apart 70 different times of the day that we're like, you know, you're so stupid or,
00:05:38
Speaker
You know, whatever we're saying to ourselves, that's Thelma. What's the name of that one? That's Thelma? That's Thelma. I don't like Thelma. That's how he talks. He talks like this.
00:05:47
Speaker
ah have no
Self-Criticism and Mental Health
00:05:49
Speaker
idea. But your inner critic is what really like, um it's important that we like identify it and that we talk about it because it is often what stops us from doing anything and everything because we're afraid because we already think we're going to fail, right?
00:06:03
Speaker
So it costs us a lot of different things, right? Our mental health is something, right? Because self-criticism is absolutely correlated with things like depression, anxiety, eating.
00:06:17
Speaker
Eating is a big one, right? When you're depressed or you're like, I'm never going to fit in those pants. I mean, there are, you know, 2% of the world that go, well, let me, you know, just start a training program. The other 98% just give up and go, just give me the crumb cake.
00:06:33
Speaker
Right? I am the 98%. I know. I am usually the 98% too, but the older I'm getting, i am realizing that I really have to get focused because I want to be able to, you know, pick up my groceries, get myself off the ground if I fall. I mean, I'm 50. I'm not 90. But what I'm saying is this this is the thing I'm thinking.
00:06:56
Speaker
And I have to cough you because wait. Excellent. Excellent. Krista Jones is excellent at getting up off the floor. Oh my gosh. Are you going to tell the story? I am going to tell the story. Okay. Well, first of all, I have been, you know, working out for quite a long time.
00:07:12
Speaker
And one of the things that I'm pretty good at because I'm short, i think that's why, is burpees. Now you can tell the story. So if you don't know what a burpee is... It's awful. In theory, you throw yourself chest down to the ground.
00:07:27
Speaker
Face flattened by whatever you're throwing yourself on. back up. Right. So that that's, in theory, a burpee. you're Quickly. Face down to the ground and then back to standing. And you jump at the end because you're excited. So we're running the half marathon in Disney, which is very congested. A lot of people.
00:07:45
Speaker
lot of stuff going on. 28, 30,000 people. Awful. too many people. Way too many. Krista Jones goes down. Yeah. Wait. And all I can think is this is a stampede. First of all, we were in the middle of a tunnel.
00:07:58
Speaker
There was people all around us and I knew I was going down. I was trying to balance. I was trying to, and it was like a dance. Right. And then I went down and Chantel is watching me. This has, this has plenty to do with the inner critic. She is watching me as I go and there's nothing I can do.
00:08:19
Speaker
And I am literally on the ground for 0.001 second. And I am like, I am going to get crushed. It was the fastest burpee I've ever done. It was amazing.
00:08:30
Speaker
was amazing. Cause it was like that slow may slow motion fall. And I was like, oh and then all of a sudden... Hands to the ground standing. Oh my gosh. It was incredible. And then I'm like, I'm okay. Nobody around me cared, but Chantel, she was dying laughing.
00:08:45
Speaker
i was like, okay. was laughing after I knew you were okay. Yes. And then you did say, all this exercise is paying off. And I, in my inner critic moment, because a lot was happening there, I was like, you're the demon.
00:09:04
Speaker
I can't even talk right now. I think I'm tired. Plus, we were cutting hot peppers in the back. This is my ADD. We'll talk about that in a minute. And so I'm also choking as I'm laughing.
00:09:15
Speaker
I was like, you didn't train good enough. How did you not? Like my inner critic had about 70 different thoughts in that 10 seconds. It took me to fall instead of like, you've got this. I never once said you've got this.
00:09:31
Speaker
And you had it. mean...
00:09:35
Speaker
Maybe I would have had it if my inner critic wasn't so critical. You could not have avoided that situation. It's not like you fell in a hole. It's not like somebody stepped in front of you, tripped you up. That was unavoidable. I don't know that anybody touched me, but it leads me to the physical toll that this is costing us when you're an inner critic.
Imposter Syndrome and Missed Opportunities
00:10:00
Speaker
Chronic negative self-talk elevates your cortisol. It leads to fatigue and ah weakened system. That is exactly what was happening in that moment. we were We were running a half marathon. I was like, I have no business doing this.
00:10:15
Speaker
And mind you, i had trained for it, but I'm still... i i It petrifies me. And we are well trained. And I still am like, I have no business doing this. Look at these 20 year olds just, you know, blowing. pat That's what I'm doing.
00:10:29
Speaker
And physically, bam, it got me. I was tired. i was weak. I mean, I think we were far Weren't we like... Yeah, we were probably at mile five, six, seven. All right. i was going to say nine, but whatever.
00:10:43
Speaker
But we, you know, i was tired. And I think that's because I was listening for five, six, seven, eight miles. To Thelma. To Thelma. To my inner critic, who the whole time was like, you have no business.
00:10:55
Speaker
You know, people are out there taking pictures with the Disney characters. And you guys are having conversations about what you ate for dinner last night. And I'm like, this is so stupid. I just like, like.
00:11:08
Speaker
Like, why did I sign up for this? I do that all the time. it is my inner critic. And I'm i'm really poking fun of myself, but I hope you can relate to this in some way in something in your life that like, you know, you're like, i have this, I have this. And then you get in the middle of it and you're like, I don't have this at all.
00:11:25
Speaker
And you do, but it completely derails you. And that is exactly what happened at Disney World. recovered like a champion. I did, man. So we were talking a couple of weeks ago about imposter syndrome.
00:11:40
Speaker
So your inner critic actually leads to imposter syndrome. 70% of adults experience it. People that have this strong inner critic personality also are more likely to avoid promotions, avoid relationships, avoid life experiences because you're afraid to put yourself out there because you've already talked yourself out of it and said, there's no way I can do it with a million different things that you're saying. You turn down opportunities because you just think you're going to fail, right?
00:12:12
Speaker
You overwork yourself because you believe you're not doing enough, whether it's in momhood or it's employment or wherever it is. And you also numb yourself with food and alcohol and scrolling on social media to try to escape the critic's voice.
00:12:31
Speaker
Which probably only makes it worse because what are you seeing on social media? you' Everybody else's perfect life. and You are. You're seeing a bunch of untruths on social media and then that's tripping you up.
00:12:41
Speaker
So honestly, and alcohol, all of that, right? Alcohol only subdues things for a little while until you sober yourself back up and then your problems are still there or your non-problems that you're making into problems because,
00:12:56
Speaker
You believe the inner critic, right? So like, why do we believe the voice that we hear in our head that is negative? I can bet it goes back to childhood. Wow.
Childhood Influences on the Inner Critic
00:13:08
Speaker
shots I have learned so much doing this podcast. You have also learned so much about Krista's mom and dad. It's a good thing. They never listen, and but it is true.
00:13:19
Speaker
It can go back to childhood, um, to trauma things, right? Um, survivors of like childhood neglect, abuse, that kind of thing often internalize their caregivers' voices, right?
00:13:34
Speaker
So if in your childhood, it could have been bullies, it could have been, you know, the neighborhood kids next door, but if you had people in your childhood that were saying awful, ugly things, know,
00:13:46
Speaker
That kind of is the voice that then you adopt in your own life. Like sometimes for the rest of your life, that's really sad. it is sad. so like.
00:13:57
Speaker
If you say, not that you ever would as a mom, I'm just giving you like an example. Like if you say something like, why can't you do anything right? Think about that. Like that child is then going into adulthood and going, I don't know, why can't I do anything right? So any anytime something goes wrong, which doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just not according to whatever plan you'd like it to go to, you're all of a sudden giving up. Like I can't do anything right.
00:14:24
Speaker
You're thinking that because you've had years of hearing that and now you got to deprogram that. And that's why you and I are always saying our voices matter as moms, as bosses, leaders, as friends, like the things that we say really, really matter. And if we screw it up, which we're going to, we immediately have to call ourselves out and say, I didn't even mean to say that.
00:14:48
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it happens. There's plenty of times where I've had to stop myself because I got overwhelmed. And i don't want to say I took it out of my kids, but it came out.
00:15:00
Speaker
um my My daughter has a book. she Avery's always had big feelings. And I brought this book that's called My Mouth is a Volcano. And it's about when you get all filled up with feelings and it all comes out. And that's what I'm sorry I exploded and I didn't mean it and that wasn't meant for you.
00:15:18
Speaker
But that leads to constant feelings of, I'm a bad mom. Why would I say that? Why did that come out? Well, that's the inner critic, right? That's the inner critic, yeah. So like you have to balance that and you have to give yourself grace because you're just a mom doing a million things, trying to get it right.
00:15:33
Speaker
And the point to all of it is just correct it when it happens, right? Like don't try, i hope they didn't hear me. Oh, I'm just gonna, you know, shove that under the rug. Because then that's the stuff that really leads us into this this trauma, right?
00:15:48
Speaker
And the critic is like this warped survival instinct. It is like self-police so that you don't get rejected, right? Right.
Overcoming Fear and Catastrophizing Mistakes
00:15:59
Speaker
You're maybe afraid to go to the party because you're afraid nobody's going to know you want to talk to you. So you talk yourself out of it before you can even get into it. You've already sabotaged the entire thing so that you don't get hurt or you don't try.
00:16:13
Speaker
And usually we talk about this in episodes too. You make something up in your head that never really ever even plays itself out that way. So you're all anxious in your head. You're making these things up and now you're sabotaging yourself. So you don't even try.
00:16:29
Speaker
Which is sad. Yeah, it is. And then, you know, there's also like these different like all or nothing. I mean, there's like this TikTok all or nothing trend that I was a couple weeks ago. And it's like, it's either all or nothing, right? So like one mistake means I'm a failure for life. Like people can't seem to separate that. There's no such thing as all or nothing.
00:16:51
Speaker
It doesn't mean that just because you do something once, you're always going to do it and you don't learn from it right? Right. And we were talking about catastrophe in our last episode. You guys should get that. If I mess this up, my life is over.
00:17:04
Speaker
That's taking things and completely blowing them out of context and adding so much drama into it. When it's like, if you mess this up, you know, you whatever, you don't get that promotion.
00:17:16
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe God is closing that door for you because he has something else. Like it's not the end of the world and you got to figure that out. And then personalizing something like if something goes wrong, then it's all my fault. That's not always true either.
00:17:29
Speaker
Most of the time, that's definitely not true. There's a million factors that go into why something goes wrong. And you can't always take all of them on and say, it must be me.
00:17:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of external factors in anything, but it's also very easy to blame yourself. when you can't you know You can't blame Mother Nature because it rained while you were planning your kid's birthday party, so it was me. I picked the day.
00:17:57
Speaker
Right. yeah I pick the time. Oh, I should have known it was going to rain. Why didn't I get a tent? Yep.
Social Media's Role in Self-Criticism
00:18:04
Speaker
It's this inner critic because deep down, most of us don't feel good enough. And it really all stems from that comparison, which is the stealer of joy. And, you know, just thinking everybody else has it together. It's the reason we wanted to start this podcast because I see it on social media all the time without calling names out. You know, I see life coaches and self-help people and, you all of this stuff. And I think, my gosh, I know you behind the scenes. You don't even have it together.
00:18:31
Speaker
And yet you have got the perfect hair and the, like you won't even let your picture go up on Facebook unless you look absolutely beautiful. Or like, you know, Jennifer Lopez, like I saw her come out a few weeks ago and they're like, Jennifer Lopez without makeup. And I go, that is a crock.
00:18:47
Speaker
That is a crock. Jennifer Lopez has put a toner on her face so that you cannot like, You know what I mean? i'm like, we're not really living our most authentic lives, which is part of this spiral to why we're criticizing everything we do.
00:19:03
Speaker
And that's why we started the podcast because we're like, none of us are perfect. Most of us are are are nowhere near perfect. And like, we want to kind of shed that whole layer off and like, you know, like Krista Jones doing burpees in the middle of of Disney world.
00:19:19
Speaker
And by the way, I've done like 20, 25 half marathons and I could just be so proud of that, but I never am. i immediately go in there saying, I don't know if I can do this.
00:19:30
Speaker
What?
Tools to Quiet the Inner Critic
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah. You've already done it. How many times? Yeah. Like, can you just follow the history? So, cause you know that when we talk about this stuff, I always have to figure out, all right, well, what are the tools like in order for us to get better?
00:19:47
Speaker
Right? What are the tools in order for us to quiet our inner critic? Because I really need to know that. So you really are supposed to give it a voice.
00:19:57
Speaker
It's like critical Carl or or, mean, mean girl Giselle. Poor Giselle. We know Giselle. We love Giselle though. She's not a mean girl. and She's not at all, but you are supposed to give it a voice because it separates that voice from you because it's not you.
00:20:17
Speaker
Right. That inner critic, it's not you. it is a voice that comes from trauma, um these distortions of cognitive thinking.
00:20:28
Speaker
It's not you. it is something that has been created because of experiences in your life. So name it something else so that now it's not you.
00:20:39
Speaker
Because now it's somebody you can shut up. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I don't know. And then ah i say this in a lot of the episodes and I love it Write down whatever it is, you know, like I suck at half marathons. All right, write that down.
00:20:58
Speaker
And then what are the truth to that? Okay. Why do you suck at them? So like write down all the reasons that I think I'm really not good at running a half marathon. I'm a little bit slow, like whatever, whatever they are.
00:21:09
Speaker
And then... What is the real proof though, right? So what is the actual truth? That you are faster than everybody sitting on a couch. That is true.
00:21:21
Speaker
There go. That you've done 10 different, you know, half marathons in your life. And you're still kicking. And burping. And burping through your marathons. Honestly, i feel like that's like a, like a CrossFit workout. I should get a medal. You really should.
00:21:36
Speaker
But that's what I'm saying. So like when you write all of this stuff down that you're criticizing about why you don't deserve that promotion and you're not going to even try, like what really are the truths? Like, are you really that bad at the job?
00:21:50
Speaker
Does your boss like you for the most part? Are there emails out there that can like back that up? You know, do you get along with your counterparts? Like, ah do you understand the assignment if you want to try for this new job?
00:22:03
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? You you have to really... take, i hate to say it, your emotions out of the mix. Cause that's what trips us up because we never believe we're good enough. So you really just have to look at the truth and and you have to stop comparing yourself to other people.
00:22:20
Speaker
Cause if you compare yourself to other people, you are 33% less likely Oh, sorry, that's not true. If you do not compare yourself to other people, you are 33% less likely to experience anxiety and depression.
00:22:40
Speaker
People that don't compare themselves are healthier and stronger and more confident. So you have to get to a place in your life where you're like, I'm not Sally Sue.
00:22:52
Speaker
And I did not just make a beautiful mermaid cake, which I know that you guys have followed my mermaid cake story. I have to find the mermaid cake. It was the scariest thing. You need to bring it in. it needs to be one of the pictures for the podcast.
00:23:05
Speaker
It was one of the scariest things ever. And I have to find that cake because stop... da Comparing yourself to Sally Sue, who made a much better mermaid cake than I did, and say, you know what, Sally Sue doesn't work.
00:23:21
Speaker
I run a charity. I take care of people. I have three children. I work 70 hours week. Sally Sue doesn't work. Like that is the truth.
00:23:32
Speaker
If I was Sally Sue and I didn't have to work, maybe I would have taken a little more time on my mermaid cake. I bet it was beautiful. Or maybe just that that's not where my creativity lies and that's okay.
00:23:46
Speaker
And then not only do you have to notice the critical thing that you're thinking, you have to stop and you have to do what we say all the time. You have to meditate on it.
00:23:57
Speaker
You literally have to stop and you have to clear your mind completely. A hundred percent. Cause now you're in a fight or flight. Your cortisol is going, your adrenaline is going.
00:24:08
Speaker
You think that you're this awful person. You're not going to be able to talk yourself down. So when, who's our, what are we going to, Thelma minus Thelma. When Thelma rears her ugly head, have to say Thelma.
00:24:22
Speaker
no but I have to redirect myself. It's important that you just stop and you just breathe. Honestly, in almost every episode, you know, when I'm doing research, people are like, stop, breathe, stop, silence.
00:24:38
Speaker
And I'm like, oh, okay. That's a little more peaceful. Yeah. It can get really noisy in your head.
Growth in Self-Acceptance with Age
00:24:46
Speaker
It's very noisy, my head. Yeah. Is it noisy in your head too? It is. I wasn't sure if you meant it was just my head or if you also feel the noise. No, all the time.
00:24:53
Speaker
Like I go for a massage and i'm like, oh, I'm going to be so relaxed. And then I'm, you know, laying face down on the table and all I can think about is the 900,000 other things. And, you know, what does this person think about how I look under the sheet? And,
00:25:05
Speaker
And then you're being critical. And why am I even under here? And I don't even deserve this hour massage. There's a million things I'm supposed to be doing instead of this. But I will say this to you because you are 10 years younger than me.
00:25:16
Speaker
There is definitely shifts in each of your decades of life. Now that I'm getting into my fifties, I really have a lot less of caring.
00:25:27
Speaker
And that's another thing, like visualize how you're going to feel in your sixties and even your seventies. I mean, think about the women at the gym that are just talking to you naked, 75 year olds. They're just, no, that's never happened to No, I'm not at that gym. Okay.
00:25:39
Speaker
But I'm just saying, you know, like they're changing in front of you. They don't care. and I'm like, how freeing is that? I cannot wait till I get to a point where, you know, I'll just talk to you, whatever, and I'm not trying to suck in my stomach or get inside.
00:25:53
Speaker
Like there is freeing to be had with people that are just like, I don't care. You know, I am um spiritual and people walk through life, um you know, in believing all different type of things.
00:26:08
Speaker
But I say it all the time. um And for me, this is so freeing. I always say I am living for the applause of person. At the end of the day, it does not matter what anybody else thinks about me as far as I'm concerned.
00:26:23
Speaker
Like I'm living for Jesus. And at the end of the day, if I lay my head on the pillow and I say, i have done everything that I can do. And he is saying, well done, good and faithful servant. Nothing else matters.
00:26:34
Speaker
So that may not be the place that you're in, but but think that through. Like at the end of the day, nobody is living your life. You have to live your life. It does not matter what anybody else thinks, but it matters what you think. And it matters if you're critical about yourself.
00:26:54
Speaker
You have to be kind to yourself. Chantel, that's the t-shirt. You have to be kind to yourself. Oh, I wanted something with film on the burpees. Yeah. It's okay. There can be multiples.
00:27:06
Speaker
Oh. Right? ah Absolutely. We do need to start the t-shirt shop. We say it on every single episode. But then if we started the t-shirt shop, I think it would go well. I don't, everyone.
00:27:18
Speaker
what I would own everyone. i'd buy them. I thought you said, i don't everyone. and I was like, I didn't even know what that just meant. So you need to visualize yourself as your 70 year old self.
00:27:32
Speaker
And you know, know, living most of your life and being even towards the end of your life, I have to think that I would feel like, why did I waste so much time being critical about myself and the job? I was just trying to do my best. Most people at the end of the day are just trying to do your best.
00:27:52
Speaker
And that's all you can say at the end. Like, was it trying my best? Yeah. Well done.
Encouragement to Overcome Self-Doubt
00:27:59
Speaker
should I step outside my comfort zone? Of course. Yes. What is the worst thing? Let's, let's make it catastrophic. What is the worst thing that's going to happen if I step outside my comfort zone? And I try for that.
00:28:11
Speaker
Like inner critic, ne we need to subdue that inner critic. And I think more and more um it comes out. i We don't. We're in a society that is stuck on social media.
00:28:25
Speaker
We cannot get out of it. I love the fact that New York State has gotten rid of cell phones in the schools. Let me tell you, my kids don't have cell phones, but the happy dance that I did that day, because now nobody.
00:28:39
Speaker
It is not going to interfere with their day. It is not. And your kids are young enough that if they they keep these laws and these regulations up, they're not going to experience what so many of these other kids have had to experience.
00:28:51
Speaker
And think of that alone and how that's going to help with the inner critic. Not having that in your face in the middle of class. Oh, I can't concentrate. I'm stupid. Let me just get on my phone.
00:29:02
Speaker
And then you're on your phone and you're looking at, you know, all this stuff and, oh, she's so much prettier than me and all of this stuff that goes on. Like social media is absolutely dangerous when it's not used properly. And for younger, you know, kids, they're really showing that it it's just not. They don't have the mental capacity to handle it.
00:29:21
Speaker
And I'm excited to see what the future is going to have just just for that simple law that went into effect. I mean, the... the social emotional repercussions it's going to have is going to be incredible because these kids have been spending their lunch periods scrolling and not interacting with each other.
00:29:40
Speaker
And they're spending their class time scrolling and not paying attention and their grades are going down the toilet. Yeah. You know what I mean? We're one of the very few countries that would even allow phones in the classroom.
00:29:52
Speaker
And, you know, we could get on a whole tirade with that. But you know what? I think it's great. I think anything that we can do to limit all of our exposure to social media is, i don't know, I think it's
Final Tips and Encouragement
00:30:05
Speaker
a good thing.
00:30:05
Speaker
It may help quiet Thelma. Thelma. I'm working on it. Yeah. I'm working on it. Let's put Thelma in the closet. All right, Thelma.
00:30:16
Speaker
Off you go. That inner critic that has been yours probably for decades. Like, I get it. It's going to be a hard thing to let go of. You know, it sounds like maybe it's because you grew up with it. I don't know. Here's the truth, though.
00:30:29
Speaker
You shouldn't be a critic to yourself. Everybody, I'm only coffee because... Hot pepper jelly was made here about a half hour ago.
00:30:40
Speaker
So what if the next time that you heard you're not enough, you answered yourself back and said, uh, yeah, I really am. You don't owe anyone perfection and that includes yourself. And you shouldn't punish yourself when you're not perfect because you're not supposed to be.
00:30:57
Speaker
What you're supposed to be giving yourself a little bit of grace. That voice inside your head I'm really praying for you that it gets a whole lot quieter now.
00:31:08
Speaker
Until our next Exhausted Sparrows Unite, be kind to yourself and each other.