Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Exhausted Sparrows Unite. I am your host, Krista Jones, with my co-host, Chantel Schaefer. And we just got back from this amazing run in Florida.
Speaker: And let me tell you, no, it was not a breeze on the beach. Not that kind of run. It was like a sweatpants. pouring into your eyeball, questioning all of your life decision kind of run. But somewhere between mile two and almost passing out, I started thinking, Chantel, about how great this would be as an episode on our podcast when everything's heavy and the air's thick and you're not sure if you can keep moving today.
Speaker: um want to talk about that. Chantal and I are going to talk about what it means to run through the heat, not just literally, but like emotionally, because sometimes endurance, it's not really about speed. We realized in that course, it's really about survival.
Speaker: And sometimes strength isn't about finishing strong. It's just about not quitting. So grab your water bottle and your towel if you have one. And let's talk about persistence when life feels better.
Speaker: Absolutely impossible. Welcome tired Chantel Schaefer. Tired and cold. We came back to New York. So we left. We were on the beach on Monday morning. Yes. Ocean, sun, beautiful. And we came back to snow falling from the sky. We did.
Speaker: So we whenever you're listening to this episode of our podcast, ah we are recording this in November, right in the middle of the government shutdown with 10% of planes shutting down and trying to get runners in and runners out of Fort Lauderdale. And of course, we live in the New York area.
Speaker: So lots of major airports were... ah in our story. And we were shuffling people in and out. People were late. Not many people were canceled, literally two or three people out of 120. Praise God for that.
Speaker: But um a lot of delays getting in, a lot of people sitting on the tarmac, a lot of people getting home really, really early in the morning. And a lot of ah stories out of out of this run that we just did.
Speaker: Yeah, it was ah it was a race from from start to finish. Yeah. On the course, off the course, it was it was all an endurance trial. And for those of you that are just tuning into this podcast for the first time ever, this podcast is actually based on our charity, which is called Sparrows Nest of the Hudson Valley. We feed a bunch of counties here in New York State. So wherever you are listening to this podcast, welcome.
Speaker: And one of the things we do for our charity, which feeds people that have a cancer diagnosis, is we do a destination run every single year, which raises about a fifth of our budget. It raises anywhere from three to $400,000 with men and women that sign up to train with us and laugh with us and I hear inspirational stories from cancer patients.
Speaker: And then they get out there at this destination and they just let it all go. And they commit either running six or 13 miles for those who can't.
Speaker: And it's um this really great event that we do, but it takes a lot of work behind the scenes. and probably just as much work the weekend of and the day of that physical race.
Speaker: And we got back this weekend and I was like, man, there are some life lesson stories to be told about this course. ah Yeah, all of it.
Speaker: All of it. So many lessons, so many stories. All of it. And that's that's kind of why we're here because in New York right now in November, I mean, we left and was probably in the mid forty s high 40s, 50s.
Speaker: And we got back and i think it was like 32 and there were some snow flurries outside. And so you guys can imagine that no matter how much we try to prepare for the Florida heat, which is a no joke, there was absolutely no way to prepare for it. None.
Speaker: None whatsoever. The heat is on. That's what I would like to call segment number one. Because nearly three out of five adults report that they are emotionally and physically exhausted by the demands of everyday life, by the things that they cannot prepare themselves for.
Speaker: Kudos. Which is exactly what happened to us when we went down to Florida, you know, and that's one of those things, right? You try your best. You know, you are about to walk into a situation in which you have to try to prepare yourself as best as you can.
Speaker: But there are times that you cannot mimic what you're about to go into, right? Like we could have put on ah bunch of layers of clothing and then, you know, just tried to like sweat along the course. Running a sauna. Yeah.
Speaker: Run in a sauna would have been exactly that. That could have been a great way to prepare for Florida. I didn't think about that one. I thought about it while we were running. In Florida, because that humidity is no joke. I don't know how Floridians really do it.
Speaker: ah Well, you know, I have to say that along the course, people from Florida were talking about how humid it was. Oh, fantastic. So as much as we tried to prepare for it, it was even worse than that.
Speaker: And we got there and we we were as prepared as we could be, which was still though ill prepared for the conditions that we had to face. i think we were out in the course. It was around 80 degrees, would you say?
Speaker: 80,000 or 80,000 degrees as 200% humidity. Yeah. It was really, really bad. So how do you prepare for that? And, you know, going out there, you know, that was one of the things that I was thinking of because, you know, we have a whole group that goes with us. We said it's about 120 runners strong.
Speaker: And, you know, you go into that as leaders of this group thinking, do I have them well? prepared as, as we can be. Right. And you know, when the conditions are tough, our instinct is we either push harder or we give up.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. And, and it's hard to not just give up. And so we try really hard on that course to give everybody the mindset that you can not give up. Right.
Speaker: Because a lot of times in our mind, if we know we have a choice, And we don't push hard enough. We will absolutely quit. We will absolutely give up. yeah So we spend 10 months telling these runners, once you start, there is no giving up.
Speaker: You are physically, you are going out. So you have to come back. You know, you've got to go out. There's no way back, but then to physically come back on that course. And you know, that's something that, um,
Speaker: A lot of times we have to dig deep and a a lot of times we see that with our cancer patients because there is no quitting. They literally have to go through the storm in order to get to the sunshine.
Speaker: There's no quitting. And sometimes we know with a cancer diagnosis, you are in the middle of the storm and you never get to the other side. You fight and you fight and you fight and you still don't make it to the other side.
Speaker: But our motto with this run has always been, you know, you push through this and get to the other side. We had runners out there. When I got done with the course, you know, Chantel and I kind of went back and forth trying to help people in. And we had people out there saying, this is awful. This is hard.
Speaker: And so we just kind of kept saying, this was your three hour choice. Yeah. Right. This is not a three year cancer diagnosis. This is three hours. You can do hard things for three hours. This is three hours of your life.
Speaker: Do the hard things for three hours. You get that choice. You don't when you have a cancer diagnosis. So it was a lot of reframing our thinking, right? There was a lot of pivoting going on out in the course when we were like, oh, this sucks way worse than we thought it going to suck.
Speaker: So there was a lot of that too. And really it was a lot of mental, um you know, just a lot of, of, of preparing ourself mentally. And for me, like establishing boundaries so that my mind did not go off the deep end because I noticed with myself that a lot of time i will spiral.
Speaker: So I had to create these boundaries, you know, when I was out there on the course because, you know, burnout is a real thing, right? In life, not being prepared is a real thing in life. You know, they always say, you know, make a plan. God laughs because it's true. We think that we can prepare for this big thing we call life and think about it. We couldn't even really prepare for this three hour race. Right.
Speaker: And so it's kind of like, what do you do with the mile that never ends? Like, how do you get out there on a course and you're at that mile that never ends. And I mean, what was that for you, Chantal? Like what mile was that? Uh, so it was around mile 10 and I was with a runner who I was only with one other runner and, and she trained hard all year long and she hit it probably at about the same point I did.
Speaker: And she told me that she was struggling. And for me, I was like, we can't both be struggling. So I, I put it aside. i pretended like I wasn't struggling and uh, I turned on my Christy Federico.
Speaker: If you don't know k Christy Federico, she is the energizer bunny. She is positivity packed in a tiny little body. And, and I just had to put it aside and I had to pretend that I wasn't struggling and so that I could get her um keep moving forward.
Speaker: That's true though. I mean, I feel for me too, um when I know I'm needed, i can absolutely block out anything that I'm feeling. But in my group, I think we were somewhere around mile nine and a half.
Speaker: And um the course, you know, goes out along the beach, beautiful. Except when you really think about it, no shade, no shade, no shade. And so when we got all the way down to what I thought was the turnaround, it was not.
Speaker: You had to take a right and go down this road that was literally, I didn't realize it was only going to be a couple hundred feet. But when I saw that I had to turn and I was not turning around to come back, I let some words drop and mentally lost my poo. Like mentally, I was like, oh no.
Speaker: And I became the weakest link in my group. And I'm not used to that because in this group, I was with a bunch of strong women that had also trained. They were doing great. And they absolutely were holding it together more than I was. My legs were not tired. My lungs were not tired.
Speaker: I was overheated. So at all of these water stops, I was throwing the water on my head. So I was taking like four or five waters. I was throwing on my back, my wrist. Then I started noticing that all these amazing people around me were starting to throw it on me as well. And I was like, oh, I... am the weakest link.
Speaker: And honestly, then what I had to do is I had to accept it. So for me to accept it, I knew behind me, they were talking about me, not in a bad way.
Speaker: I knew they were worried about me. So I put my music on really, really loud. And all of a sudden I noticed when we're supposed to be running, we were walking and I'm looking around and I'm like, Hey guys, we're supposed to be running. And one of them would say, I can't run.
Speaker: um I have a cramp. And then the next time somebody said, I can't run Krista. I, something's going on. I have a blister and it took me two or three. I can't run to finally go, oh my gosh, they're doing it for me because they know that I'll get in my head.
Speaker: So finally, when I turned around and looked at them, I'm like, guys, I'm okay. But how great at the mile for you, wherever you are in life that never ends to have a group that that is like, we know that that person is struggling and we're going to get behind them and we're going to make sure we get them through it.
Speaker: And how awesome of them to not put it on you, right? Because they know my personality a hundred percent to be able to read the room. Yeah. And they knew that, that you'd keep pushing if you thought that you were the root cause. Yeah.
Speaker: And honestly, they said to me, I don't know how true it is, but they said to me, Krista, we were all struggling, but you said it first. Like we all wanted a break, but you said it first. But let me tell you, they definitely looked way more refreshed. But how cool, like you said, that they knew my personality, that they were able to get me to stop without me feeling guilty.
Speaker: And really rejuvenate me to have people along your mile, wherever that is, like to pick you up. 44% of us feel burnt out in life, either often or always, and mostly at work.
Speaker: o 44% of us. That's a hard way to live. It is a hard way to live. And what we need are those people around us that sense it and then help us either take some of the work off our plate or give us that break to walk.
Speaker: You know, give us a day off of work, something so that we can rejuvenate and go, okay, I'm good again. and Let's go. Yeah. But, you know, we've talked about in in past episodes, you know, some of us have a really hard time asking for that help, asking for that break or letting on that we're struggling. Some of us hide it to keep those of us around us going.
Speaker: And that's kind of the hydrate or dihydrate mode, right? Like, either. so So self-care isn't a luxury, it's survival. And I think that's where it comes in, even like out there in the course, right?
Speaker: We were hydrated because we knew that our body needed that. Honestly, we, we had a runner that had to be swept off the course. We had other runners that were in pretty bad shape when they ended and they had trained for it.
Speaker: Right. But there was decisions to be made, especially at water stations. Like we Do you not take the water in 80, 85 degree heat? Like, why would you not take the water right in front of you?
Speaker: And that's kind of life, right? Why would you not have self-compassion? Why would you not have self-care? In order to survive, why would you not take care of yourself if it's going to be a detriment to your physical health? And we talk about that in episodes as well.
Speaker: Like on the course of life, there are many times that you have got to take that break and whatever your body needs mentally, spiritually, physically, you have to do that. Yeah.
Speaker: It's a ride or die type situation. I mean, I use the course for that, but that was really a true physical um push. and and and And to go 13 miles or or six miles or or whatever these runners decided to do, they had to at every single water station stop.
Speaker: Yeah. And I never, i never do. i always, I pack my own water. I drink my own water. I stopped at every station and I drank water at every station and what I had yeah because I knew I was not going to make it if I did not take care of myself.
Speaker: And I even asked for help. I mean, i was refilling my water bottle at the station. So i was like, can you keep filling this up? Right. Yeah. Can you help me in life? Can you fill up my cup? Can you, you know, give me, find those people in your life?
Speaker: Those are the people. Can you give me what I need? I'm struggling here on my course. I'm at mile 10 and there's no end in sight. And this is where I'm falling apart. And I know there's still a long way to go.
Speaker: So I need to search out the people and the tools that, that will help me get there. Right? Yeah. And we're all oftentimes on both sides of that, right? There are times when we're the ones who are filling other people's cups and there's times when we're the ones that need our cups filled. Yeah.
Speaker: And that's what self-compassion is, right? it It is like water. Sometimes you think you can do it without water. until you can't. Krista Jones. Krista Jones also at every single water station there took water and brought a water bottle, which is something I never do. Um, you know, because there's no reason to be a martyr.
Speaker: Yeah. Right. There's no reason to be a martyr because I knew it was going to go down quickly. And especially with a lot of eyes on me, as there are eyes on all of us, the eyes of our children, the eyes of our friends, the eyes of our coworkers, the eyes of our family, we all have someone that is watching us and watching the decisions we make.
Speaker: And we're a hero in somebody's eyes, right? We are a mentor. So they're watching how we go through situations in life. And are we asking for the water or are we passing the water station by even though we need that water to keep going? yeah And so being out there on that course, you know, I was thinking of all these things.
Speaker: And then I was really thinking how blessed I am to have a group of runners in the group that I was in, um That literally read the cues. They read the room and made sure that they took care of me even when, you know, I wasn't going to stop.
Speaker: Yeah. That's, that's the people you need in your life.
Speaker: Where's the crickets? Oh, do you want me to give crickets? I'm just looking at you and I'm just thinking about, you know, the entire weekend. and and and And even for those of you, like, really, this could be an actual run or a race or a 5K or whatever, or getting out there and getting to the gym.
Speaker: Like all of that, like all of that stuff is intimidating. But I think we don't realize that, you know, you just don't go out there one day and run that race. You train for that race.
Speaker: You sometimes, you know, get thrown into these hard things in life, right? And then you have to have the endurance to get through it. It's it's it's not like any of us get through any of this easily.
Speaker: We're just trying to prepare ourselves to get through it period. Yeah. And that's where it kind of all starts with, you know, self-compassion. And then, you know, we have this, i guess, false sense of if I just push harder, I will get there faster.
Speaker: And i think with our runners, one of the biggest pieces of advice that we give them is when that start line, when that call, you know, on your mark, get set, go comes, do not go out hot. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Do not push yourself. Do not get involved in everybody else's adrenaline, right? Don't get involved in everybody else's drama in life. Don't don't get involved with the crowd.
Speaker: You need to run your own race and whatever you've been training for is how you need to go forward because we say it all the time. If you push yourself in your first half mile, this Fort Lauderdale run that we just did,
Speaker: The first half mile was a bridge, literally. It was a bridge with grades looking down into the beautiful water, of a Florida water below. and And then you ran, i don't know, maybe another mile and had to turn around and then go back over the bridge.
Speaker: Yeah. And it was, you know, Krista kept saying, it's not a big hill. It's not a big hill. It was, it was kind of steep. i was still a hill and it, and you're right. And for me, it didn't seem like that big of a hill, but your perception of that was different.
Speaker: And we all have our own perception of, is this a big deal? Is this not a big deal? Yeah. yeah Something for me to think about too. And for me, if I had run that hill both ways, I would have been completely zapped.
Speaker: I'm at now mile three and, and I'm done. I'm yeah completely tapped. We were running with a group. We train people to run when they want to be part of team Sparrow. And if you're listening and the ah informational meeting has not yet passed,
Speaker: Uh, we will start informational meetings in December 2025. of twenty twenty five We'll have some information on the website, sparrowsnestcharity.org. But, um, we train you how to run. And so we were doing, um, a two minute run in a one minute walk.
Speaker: We've trained people all different ways. We've been doing this now for 13, 14 years. And, uh, what I've noticed is you can run this straight through or You can take walk breaks and still keep the same pace, right? By not pushing yourself so hard. So when we got to this bridge, I said to ah one of my running mates, Geraldine, I go, all right, let's walk.
Speaker: And we weren't even in the middle of a walk. Like, I think we were running. And she said, I'm proud of you for saying that. And I said, I feel like we're going to have to conserve this. We're a half mile in. we're gonna We got 12 and a half to go, buddy. Like, we're going to be in trouble. And she's like, I'm really happy that you just said that.
Speaker: yeah so So that's what we did. we We ran when it felt a little bit hard, even if it said you're supposed to be running in two you know minute intervals. If it felt funky, we walked.
Speaker: h And I think that really helped conserve us being able to identify in life when really should you be pushing harder? Is it really in the middle of the Florida heat when you still have 12 miles to go?
Speaker: or maybe is it when you can see the finish line and you're able just about to touch it? Maybe that's the time that you push it. Because I think that that really is When we experience some of the worst advice of our life, when we're already in something hard and we feel like we just have to push harder.
Speaker: Like if we don't push harder, we're a loser. We're giving up. We're not good enough. You know what i mean? When we say you can do all things, yeah, but you don't have to do them really hard. No, I think one of my biggest takeaways from you over the years training is run the race you trained for. So if you trained running two, two minute run, one minute walk intervals, then run that during your race.
Speaker: Don't try to run it straight. That's not who you were. That's not who you are. That's not what you prepared to do. So don't try to keep up with the crowd. You keep up with yourself. hmm. And running your own race also means pivoting, right? In anything, even with even if you have trained to run for two minutes and to walk for a minute, you have to listen to your own body. If you're in that two minute run, it's not happening.
Speaker: I think people think that strength means like you pretend that everything is fine, right? Because that's my biggest Achilles heel. Mm-hmm. Um, but actually it's about admitting you need help. It's about admitting I'm really not fine. And so all those ladies I were running with were like, thank goodness you said it first.
Speaker: And I was like, all right. i don't know if that's true, but I was like all right, that makes me feel better about that. But you know what I mean? You know, if motivational quotes are what's working um, a hundred degree heat, then, then great. Then start, you know, spewing those out. Like whatever works for you is what you've got to do. And you have to admit when you're like, I'm really not okay.
Speaker: Yeah. And we say that in all of these episodes, because this whole podcast is really based on we're really not okay. We really cannot be okay. A hundred percent of the time. you And we're really not good about asking for help or just admitting like I'm falling apart at the seams.
Speaker: And, you know, I think that Crossing the finish line sort of is redefining what enough really means. Because then when I crossed the finish line, I was like, well, the women around me definitely could have done it seven or eight minutes faster.
Speaker: and yeah, I crossed it, but I walked more than I needed to. And like, wow, did I suck the joy out of crossing that finish line. Right. Like when you get the promotion and you say, well, i mean, the only reason that I got it is because Sully, you know, took another job or, you know, yeah, I mean, i had to get store bought brownies for the bake sale.
Speaker: So I really didn't bake them. Like how many times do we diminish the win? Right. A win is a win. Because we're trying to stay humble or we're beating ourselves up that we didn't do enough.
Speaker: Yeah. And I did that at the finish line. I'm like, I'm going to talking about that. I couldn't just experience the joy because I was so worried about the five, six other women that were with me and how they could have been a little bit faster without me.
Speaker: But they chose to be there with you. They did. But right. That is about. redefining what enough really means, giving yourself credit for finishing, even if it's messy. Yeah. And you know, you got to put it all in perspective, right?
Speaker: So I texted my husband when I, when I finished the run, I said, that was hard. That was one of the hardest runs I've ever done. And he said to me, and and some people will understand this. He said, but was it as bad as Savannah?
Speaker: So if you've never run, if we ran this race. It was a hurricane, 40 miles an hour winds, cold. People had hypothermia, ambulances taking people off the run. He goes, was it as hard as that? And I went, thank you.
Speaker: You know, is it as hard as cancer? Is it as hard as being sick? You know, sometimes you have to reframe it. Yeah, you finished. And you might've been disappointed that it was five minutes slower than you wanted it to be, but you ran your race.
Speaker: It's true. And I think that's something that, We need to do in life, right? As we do all of these hard things, you can always say, but was it as hard as?
Speaker: Do I have it as bad as? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because we are all blessed. And you know, I said that too, because every morning when I wake up and my feet hit that ground, I'm like, I have another day.
Speaker: And, oh, it's not going to be a perfect day. And I'm apologizing right now for all the mistakes I am going to make in this day. But I have another day. And it's a simple thing just to be blessed that you're breathing. You know, but we're on a course where we have cancer patients running with us. We have a woman that actually signed up to run this race with us.
Speaker: And then had to call us two months in and say, my cancer's back. I can't run it. We're going to put that video up, you know, potentially. I'm waiting to get her permission, but, you know, check back because hopefully that will be on the website and that will be in our social media.
Speaker: I mean, wow. How does that feel? Like I got to go out there and run it without a cancer diagnosis. She had to actually say, my doctor won't allow me to do it because I'm in the middle of chemo and I'll be thinking of you.
Speaker: So that's kind of what it all boils down to. Like it might be a little bit of mess messy, but my gosh, can't we have any pride in what we just did?
Speaker: For me, I bring it back to being humble because it was always kind of beaten in my head. Like you're not being humble if you're bragging, because that's what that is for me, right? I'm bragging.
Speaker: And then I thought, and when I got done with this race and you know, i whatever, you know, did it. but I don't know. I think it was like, I don't remember a time, two 40, maybe seven or two 48. I can't remember. I think you told me whatever it was, but, um, I was like, well, there was a time that it took me three hours and I was like, you know, people were watching me cross the finish line and thought I looked really strong.
Speaker: They didn't know the inner battle. yeah And so sometimes we really just got to embrace that and say, this doesn't mean that we're not humble and we should be proud of the hard things that we do.
Speaker: I mean, you ran 13 miles in the Florida heat and humidity and there were people there that can't walk a mile. So be proud of those 13 miles. Absolutely. proud of every finish line you cross, whether it's a mile, half a mile, half a marathon, marathon.
Speaker: Right. You got to be proud of every accomplishment, every finish line. When we first started doing this, we started with Disney runs, which if anybody's, you know, Disney world itself is crowded all the time, but you know, they have 30,000 people out in the course and my kids were little.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. If it was 14 years ago, my kids were like 10, 10, eight and seven, I think something like that. And it was, it was pouring rain, the first run that they ever went to.
Speaker: Um, and they said to me when I was done, mom, did you win? oh And I said, oh honey, no, there were 30,000 people. They're like, what about, did you get second place? you know, and they're saying things.
Speaker: And my husband said, stop. Yes, your mom has a medal. She did win. And I was like, you're right. Yeah, we win every time we wake up. We win every time we cross the finish line.
Speaker: We win every single time. So when you're out there in the Florida heat, when you have heat in life and you feel like you can't breathe, Sometimes you just need a walk break, right?
Speaker: You need to find the friends that I don't know are are there for you on the course. You need to take the water because you need to rejuvenate to your soul and have some self-care. And you need to realize that you can absolutely say, I did my best.
Speaker: And still be humble because life is not always a cool morning jog with a perfect playlist. Sometimes it's a slog through humidity and chaos and heat.
Speaker: And it makes you question, why in the world did I even sign up for this thing called life? But... Here's the truth. You're still here. You still got up. Your feet still hit the ground. You're still moving. That's not small. That's really sacred.
Speaker: So I say this to you. Be proud of the miles that you're covering, even if it's slow ones, because they count just as much as the fast ones, maybe even more. So Chantal and I, my fellow Exhausted Sparrows, want to remind you that you are enough.
Speaker: If you love our podcast, please share it with a friend. Find our website at sparrowsnestcharity.org where you can learn all of the things that we do and you can be part of it with us.
Speaker: If you really want to be with a group of selfless individuals, look no further. Find more information out. Until next time, be kind to yourself and each other.
