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Ep 179: Tiger Claws
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You knew you weren't getting out of Derrick's 40th birthday month without a Cynthia Rothrock film, and this one is a doozie. Tiger Claws is a martial arts action film starring Rothrock and Jalal Merhi as cops investigating a string of brutal murders in which victims are killed with a deadly tiger-style kung fu technique. Their hunt leads them to a mysterious martial arts master (played by the great and terrifying Bolo Yeung), whose deadly skills and mystical beliefs blur the line between training and killing. Packed with cheesy dialogue, 90s cop-movie grit, and plenty of high kicks, this one is going to be a blast.
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Transcript
Upcoming Collaborations and Content
00:00:05
Speaker
Hey, listeners, just wanted to get a quick little thing out up front. We have been working our butts off doing collaborations with other people, and we have some special stuff coming up this month. Just recently, this week, we had or this past week, we had three collaboration episodes get released.
Guest Appearance on B Action Podcast
00:00:22
Speaker
ah First up, I joined the guys over on B Action, which you can get on the Give Me Back My Action and Horror Movies podcast feed. And we talked Best of the Best with Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, Chris Penn, Philip Rhee, bunch of other people.
00:00:36
Speaker
Really fun action movie. I talked that with those guys.
Dissect That Film Podcast Collaboration
00:00:40
Speaker
And then we had our episode that we did with the dissect that film podcast where Jack and I went on and talked about demolition man for like two hours and 45 minutes, I think is what he got the episode out at.
00:00:56
Speaker
um Don't worry, folks, there's at least a solid hour about seashells and that. And if you're on their Patreon, you get like a bonus content of the pre-show. so there's like another 45 minutes of us talking probably about seashells.
Discussion on 'Dead Sushi'
00:01:10
Speaker
And then the last one that just came out features everybody from Bad Movies Worst People. It's with Good Beer, Bad Movie Night. It's a movie called Dead Sushi, which I had never heard of and is absolutely insane.
00:01:23
Speaker
It's kind of exactly what you think it is.
Patreon Episode Announcement and Host's Birthday
00:01:25
Speaker
There's a girl who's a sushi chef slash kung fu master and her father tells her she's not good enough because she's a woman and then she has to go work at this place and then fight sushi that comes to life because of question mark it's a lot of fun it's crazy um i also wanted to let you guys know if you're interested and if you aren't a member of our patreon at patreon.com slash worst people tomorrow the day after this episode airs so november 18th which is my actual 40th birthday we
00:01:55
Speaker
We will be releasing our episode on The Running Man from 1987 with Arnold Schwarzenegger right there on Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people at the only $3 a
Live Discussion Plans for 'Running Man'
00:02:05
Speaker
month level. But then we will also have on November 18th at 530 Mountain Standard Time, roughly, we will be talking about the brand new Edgar Wright adaptation of The Running Man starring Glenn Powell.
00:02:18
Speaker
ah We're going to go see that as a group and then just have a quick little conversation about it It'll be available at least on YouTube, ah wherever else the service here will let me stream it. Probably like Instagram, Facebook live, that kind of thing. But we have I have to see what they allow because we've only done a couple of live streams. I'm not, I don't remember.
00:02:36
Speaker
It will eventually be available on the main feed as well. But if you want to tune in live, you can ask questions, you can comment. We can have all that there. It's going to lot of fun. So please remember to check out all of the features that we just did with B action, good beer, bad movie night, and dissect that film.
00:02:54
Speaker
Plus we had a bunch come out this past month as well. Uh, I joined old man, Brad on the tomb of terrors podcast to talk about night train to terror, which is a anthology film.
Appearances on Other Shows
00:03:07
Speaker
Uh, all of us were over with our friend, Steve on bucket of chum to talk about shark exorcist to unholy waters. And then Jack was back with the B action boys talking split second with Rutger Hauer.
00:03:19
Speaker
So we have all of that content floating around out there for you guys to find. So go check all of it out. Thank you for supporting us and for supporting our friends and checking out when we feature over there.
00:03:30
Speaker
Maybe you'll find something you love and you'll find a new
Exploring Collaborations and New Podcasts
00:03:32
Speaker
podcast to listen to. And don't forget to tune in for The Running Man on Patreon and then The Running Man 2025 on YouTube tomorrow, November 18th at 530 Mountain Standard Time.
Episode Introduction and 'Tiger Claws'
00:03:45
Speaker
Be there.
00:03:49
Speaker
Happy. Hi. Welcome to. Welcome to. Happy. Hi. Bad movies. Worse people. I almost said. hi. Hi, Mark. Hi, podcaster.
00:04:00
Speaker
Hi, worst people. You're my favorite podcast. Keep the change. Okay. Bye, kitty. Okay. Bye, kitty. You're my favorite. Welcome back, folks. It's still my birthday. It's actually almost my birthday. This episode comes out the day before my birthday. Yeah, it does. Happy me. So drunk.
00:04:18
Speaker
You guys, he's 40. He's going to be 40. Yeah. That's that many. It still says oh, four.
Overview of 'Tiger Claws'
00:04:28
Speaker
And this week we're talking about an exciting movie that everybody loved.
00:04:33
Speaker
What you say? I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. This Bad Movies. Worst people.
00:04:44
Speaker
You know what you say. What you say? What you say?
00:05:13
Speaker
That's right, folks. We're here. And
Director Kelly Macon's Work
00:05:16
Speaker
we're talking. We're beer. Cynthia Rothrock. Bolo Young. Jalal Murray. could have just stopped at those two.
00:05:25
Speaker
Halal Murray. He said with a J. No. We're talking about Tiger Claws. It's Halal-larious. ah Kiyah. Kiyah. You know what? That is actually fitting note because how intimidating Bolo Young is until he starts speaking.
00:05:40
Speaker
So that would be him raising up on your... Kiyah. Kiyah. Yes, we were talking about this movie which came out in 1992. Yeah.
00:05:50
Speaker
Directed by Kelly Macon, a real director, according to the producer and star of the movie. Yeah. okay Kelly Macon directed a bunch of kids in the hall um and their movie Brain Candy.
00:06:03
Speaker
As a real director would. Yeah, so most of Kids in the Hall, the movie Brain Candy, and then all of the new episodes they did ah couple years ago. Why do I know Brain Candy? It's the Kids in the Hall movie.
00:06:15
Speaker
Oh. So literally just Kids in the Hall. Well, also but a bunch a bunch that show bunch of that show Flashpoint and a bunch of Vikings. There's a TV. but okay Like a real director would.
00:06:29
Speaker
And written by J. Stephen Monder. So close to murder. who wrote most of Halal Murray's other movies. ah with Multiple, huh?
00:06:41
Speaker
Yeah. um So he wrote Tiger Claws. He wrote Tiger Claws
Cynthia Rothrock's Role in 'Tiger Claws'
00:06:47
Speaker
2. He wrote Tiger Claws 3. I knew where that was going. How many is Rothrock in? All three?
00:06:53
Speaker
All three of them. He also wrote Talons of the Eagle, TC2000, and Expect No Mercy, which are all Billy Blank's movies. TC2000 was brought up when I was on the...
00:07:05
Speaker
ah Dissect that movie? B-Action. B-Action. We're doing too many features lately. I know. It's crazy. which Which one is this?
00:07:16
Speaker
Is this that fat movies, bad people? Yeah. Okay. I thought it was good movies, fat people. Crap movies, okay people. Drunks watch movies?
00:07:28
Speaker
um I take my whiskey up on the Cynthia Roth rocks. Okay.
00:07:34
Speaker
So obviously there is no budget because this is direct-to-video except in Hungary. I mean, there's no box office. Box office. was like, there a budget. It did get released theatrically in Hungary, but I couldn't find box office numbers. I don't think they kept those records. $420, Bob.
00:07:48
Speaker
$1,000. $420 to make this movie? No, that's how much box office was in Hungary. I couldn't find it, but do have a budget. They paid with chickens.
00:08:00
Speaker
Do you guys want to guess the budget? You bet your sweet ass I do. Canadian dollars.
00:08:08
Speaker
2.5. Jack? 1.8. I should have just called it because 2.5 million Canadian dollars. Bitch.
00:08:18
Speaker
I didn't adjust for inflation. Is this three times I've been spot on now? Yeah. Three purple stars for Whitney. Three of them. That's thumbs she used to have. It is. um Mostly Halal Murray's money.
00:08:33
Speaker
He did get some investors, but it was mostly his money from his. He mentioned in an interview that we watched. He's like, oh, yeah, you I just had some money because I owned a ah jewelry business and various other things.
00:08:46
Speaker
So he's also a martial arts guy. This whole movie is not whole movie. A lot of this movie is him S-ing his own D emotionally and visually. Yes. Yeah. Like it's an advertisement for him.
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah. But I appreciated that they brought in Cynthia Rothrock. He had a female like co-lead, not a female sidekick. Not a side a damsel in distress. Yeah. I mean, he comes in and, you know, finishes everything up.
00:09:15
Speaker
But she does a lot of the fighting in this. She is co-lead, which is nice. Mm-hmm. Speaking of Cynthia Rothrock, we start with her as an undercover hooker.
00:09:31
Speaker
She's an undercover hooker. She's trying to bust... People who the psycho rapist jump hookers, I guess. yeah Yeah. He is credited as psycho rapist. Yeah, there's a plot line here.
00:09:45
Speaker
and ah But she's got this. Her partner is following her around, and he gets distracted by a woman in a short skirt and loses Cynthia. So then she has to beat the shit out of this dude in an alley, and it's pretty fucking cool. It's pretty fantastic, honestly. She is rocking this like little hooker outfit.
00:10:02
Speaker
She's very upset. She's like, I'm tired of dressing like a hooker and having these two-bit cases. Yeah, but that wig looked real good. It's just the wig. Everything else looks like it big fits perfectly on her. Little Hooker, new playset coming this September from Mattel.
00:10:18
Speaker
It's like the Polly Pocket, but it's got ah like a couple beds in there instead of a little whole little house. Oh no, who's that? It's her evil pimp come to collect. Good thing little hooker has her handy dandy pocket knife.
00:10:31
Speaker
She's not afraid to cut a bitch.
00:10:35
Speaker
She might be. She might be afraid. I don't want to cut nobody, mister. She uses her fists and feet. Tiger claw. Oh, but I do love this guy. There's just some guy on the street drumming, like doing like freeform jazz drumming.
00:10:51
Speaker
there There's a lot of artistic draw in this director's vision. Like he's trying to do something. He's trying to make it visually compelling. I actually did like this. There's another one coming up I like more, but this is a fun thing where it's just like, hey, there's the soundtrack just on the street waiting.
00:11:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. This guy doing freeform jazz stuff. stop opportunity tea Punch you in the face. but but buta You just got Cynthia Rothrocked. And, you know, it's something you would probably see in the streets of New York is somebody just with the three piece drum set.
00:11:22
Speaker
Yeah. The ah the subtitle is called Canada. The subtitles called it Shambolic Drumming. Oh. Okay. I don't know what that means.
00:11:33
Speaker
You can shambolic my nuts.
00:11:38
Speaker
Shamlic my balls.
00:11:41
Speaker
But yeah, you picked the wrong woman this time, so she beats the shit out of him,
Plot and Character Dynamics in 'Tiger Claws'
00:11:45
Speaker
and he gets arrested, and she storms off. And then we meet... Tarek Richards played by Halal Murray, who is also in Talons of the Eagle TC 2000. Expect no mercy. Tiger Claws one and two, three.
00:12:01
Speaker
Sounds like someone European just messed up your name. Tarek. Hey, Tarek, you're my favorite customer. I was like, it's Tommy Wiseau trying to say my name. Why'd you backstab me, Tarek? Prepare, guys. We're probably going to just fall into that a few times because after we watched this, we showed Whitney in the room because she had never seen it. so ah We might have to do just like a fucking... i was going to say, we might just have to like talk about it as a separate thing. The fact that Whitney's the only person that didn't love it ironically.
00:12:34
Speaker
like Outside of his bad acting, she's like, this has got some chops, dude. Look at that. i mean, in fairness, it's a sex scene every 10 to 15 minutes. Every 10 to, yeah. so We got get to an hour and a half. Take off your top and show your boobs a little.
00:12:49
Speaker
I'll show my butt. It averages every 10 to 15 minutes because we get four in the first 30 minutes. yeah And then there's like a 40 minute break. And then there's one more.
00:12:59
Speaker
But that's not what we're talking about, really. It kind of is. It kind of is. But like, Tarek is apparently the hot guy. Again, like you said, this is him self-sucking, right?
00:13:11
Speaker
Because he goes in and he's trying to get money for some undercover case he's doing. And this girl who is a cute like desk sergeant But they the movie treats her like she's a fucking uggo pig. Yeah. Because she's like, well, I'll tell you what. I'll help you get the money for your case if you take me to lunch.
00:13:27
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, no, I'd love to. But you just I can't. Did you solicit prostitution to me? If I bang you, you're going to give me money. I mean, I'm in. I'm just trying to figure out where we're at.
00:13:41
Speaker
And ah Cynthia is doing ah her own side investigation about these murders that have been going on. And it's people being killed with martial arts. Surprise. She's obviously a cop.
00:13:53
Speaker
Yes. She doesn't have a partner. works alone. No, Cynthia has a partner, the guy that was following her. Oh, yeah, that bullshit guy. She doesn't want to work with him because he's useless.
00:14:04
Speaker
The sweatiest cop in New York? Sweatiest. I think Whitney called it out. You could see what pattern his chest hair grew in because it was soaked in that soppy-ass shirt. That shirt was so wet, you could have used it as E.T.' 's sound effects.
00:14:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Bags of Jell-O. It's funny because that must have either been like they added the scene in or they shot it first and waited because we watched an interview with her and she was like talking about how she remembered how cold it was.
00:14:32
Speaker
And she's like had to do these scenes with like no jacket and wearing like skimpy dresses and stuff. And but this that first scene, people are just gooping. Yeah. See, I think the last scene is her first recording scene. She's like half naked.
00:14:47
Speaker
Even the by go great best. He's fucking. Oh, God. good
00:14:54
Speaker
I have never seen such a sweaty person, I've watched movies that take place in the South and involve lawyers wearing full suits. But it's good to know if friend of ours is getting work and made his way to Canada.
00:15:05
Speaker
him. Got him. Got him. He's getting work internationally. They were like, that spray bottle's not going to do it. Here's a hose. Here's a bucket. I brought my own series space. That's not a hose. This is a hose.
00:15:18
Speaker
It's got a fucking drive as a fire truck. I was just gonna say got em got em got em I'm getting em I'm currently getting em I went to British on that one it's the same fire truck Michael Mann uses to wet down streets but he's just using it to wet down actors we get a lot of guys a minute we get a lot of wet guys yeah one in particular So our our intrepid hero, Tarek, goes off for this undercover bust where he's... Is he buying methamphetamines? He's buying vague drugs.
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah, a white bag that he goes... It's a powdery substance. We don't want to name it. It's like Voldemort. And he's buying it Should say heroin out loud? He's buying it from Dennis Farina's stunt double. Yep. God. I wish it was Dennis Farina, man.
00:16:14
Speaker
Yeah. But it's Tennis Faria. Tennis up, Tennis Faria? It's Faria. Faux, rebo yeah. Oh, that would should have been a great display name.
00:16:27
Speaker
But, like, there's these two douchebag cops who are just following him around the whole movie, and they're there, and they're like, what the fuck's going on? This is our best. I'm like, hey you guys work in the same department. Shouldn't you know? One is homicide, and one is DMX.
00:16:43
Speaker
Well, maybe maybe this guy's going so fucking rogue. because You know, he's he's that work alone, tough guy doing it all on his own that maybe he's off the books. And these guys are like, look, at here's somebody buying drugs. Hey, wait a minute. We know this guy.
00:16:57
Speaker
We're not going to fall for the of the tailpipe. Look at this really cool silk shirt. Look at that. He's got his hair pulled all the way back. I like that. You got some hair plugs. but Maybe he's cooler me because I took my shirt and my underwears.
00:17:10
Speaker
I do that sometimes. Oh, my God. That's weird. But yeah, these guys interrupt the bust. So a big shootout ensues. It goes for a really long time.
00:17:21
Speaker
Everybody gets murdered. And. Tennis for arena jumps in the car to take off. Dude. Oh, real quick. Before he jumps in the car when the shootout first starts, the douchebag cops are hiding behind one car.
00:17:34
Speaker
He's hiding behind another car. They are firing at each other no more than 15 feet away. It's a fucking ah naked gun skit. Yeah. Because it shows it's a one shot of of the, or I guess a two shot of the two cops shooting, a one shot of the other guy shooting back.
00:17:49
Speaker
But then when they cut out to the wide shot, it's literally, they're just like, they could hold hands if they wanted to. They could spit on each other. You don't don't even reload. Just give me bullets. going throw it at them from here. them. Got them.
00:18:02
Speaker
Also, we learn in this sequence that revolvers do not reload. Yeah. Yeah, you can't. Well, they were magically reloading when we weren't looking. Oh, that's right. they Every time the camera cut away, they were like, quick, reload. No one's looking. Oh, see, I thought revolvers were just like instant cameras. Like you just shoot that, you throw that gun away and you get another revolver.
00:18:20
Speaker
Well, you also do that after like a certain amount of takes. but I wasted so much money. Taron Forigno. Fono. Fono? Dennis Fono. Dennis Fono is his name now.
00:18:34
Speaker
but He and then throws it. He does end up throwing it after he's like he's like, oh, I ran out of bullets eventually. Oh, see? That's correct. It's like, well, I got to get another one of these. This fucking six-shooter only gave me 47 rounds? That's bullshit. Bullshit.
00:18:50
Speaker
But, like, he jumps in the car to take off, and Tarek is like, oh, I got you now. And just fucking... Oh, did I? I don't think I only made it a background, guys.
00:19:01
Speaker
I'm a big piece of failure. Make it to background and move us around, buddy. Because this is, and even as we were watching this fucking beautiful explosion, you you know me and Whitney you are gushing over it and Derek just goes, not over yet.
Action Scenes and Techniques
00:19:13
Speaker
And then the second explosion hits, and it just keeps fucking burning. Yeah, it's like he hits and the car explodes and then there's it's one of those explosion out of an explosion and then cut away and no more and more and more. Looks like the flames of Hephaestus himself.
00:19:29
Speaker
Yeah. I was like, God damn, dude, this guy was selling drugs and dynamite. Yeah. Whatever they're sniffing is very combustible.
00:19:40
Speaker
That's pure gasoline, man. Turn it into a powder, turn gasoline into a powder form. You sniff it. Oh Everyone always said like the smell of gasoline. So I thought, fuck it, let's make it a drug. And like Tarek is like, dude, you guys, I had this under control till you interfere. they're like, yeah, we'll see about that. And they just like take him in. I'm like, what?
00:19:58
Speaker
well No, you're under arrest. It's just them trying to arrest each other, like a circle chasing each other's handcuffs. No, I'm taking you Like jerk? No, I'm taking you in. Yeah, kind of. No, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. I can't hear you. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can't we'll begin to say. Can't arrest me. No take backs.
00:20:16
Speaker
but the The black cop handcuffs Tarek to his wrist. Then Tarek handcuffs his other wrist to the white cop. And the white cop is like, well, guess just handcuffed myself to my partner. I don't know what we're doing here. yeah They start swinging Tarek. The Spider-Man scene.
00:20:34
Speaker
They're all pointing at each other. Yeah. And we cut to this guy, this be mulleted man doing ah karate TV show. I forgot this existed until you just said it.
00:20:45
Speaker
Oh, you forgot about pickles? Pickles. Bill Pickles. Billy Pickles. Not even Bill Pickles. That has like a modicum of of see like seriousness.
00:20:56
Speaker
Billy Pickles. I just love because it it shows him he's like stepping on glass and you're like, what is happening here? Because you don't know he's making a TV show yet. Yeah. He's stepping on glass and he starts doing some stuff and then it pans over as he walks over.
00:21:10
Speaker
And the back has it written on the wall just says, Bill Pickles Karate Show. And I was like, does Dill Pickles? To this um dude lovely woman laying across two chairs.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah. The little thin porn star mustache that he's got with this curly mullet. I don't think we really did it justice to talk about how ridiculous it was. It's a look. It's a it's a thought out look.
00:21:35
Speaker
It is. And he sets up this this demonstration he's going to do. he just plunks this watermelon down on this poor woman's midsection. Honestly, she can take it, dude. She's been suspended there since he started walking on broken glass.
00:21:48
Speaker
She has got a tight core. Yes, she does. He takes out his sword and he goes like, I'm going to chop it. Oh, no he doesn't talk. he He's not talking. He's just going oh very deeply, which we have to point out.
00:22:01
Speaker
And then he's like, I'm going to step this up a notch. And he puts on his fucking bandana or blindfold. Oh, yeah. Chops the watermelon, takes off the blindfold and says, now what you've just seen is martial arts.
00:22:14
Speaker
Hi, Billy Pickles here. Anything in my hands is a dangerous weapon, even when they're empty. So join me, Billy Pickles, at the dojo. Are you tired getting made fun of?
00:22:26
Speaker
Because I was. Remember, folks, keep yourselves safe in the streets.
00:22:32
Speaker
I used to be the prey, but now I'm the predator.
00:22:37
Speaker
That's he's going for with the hair. I'm going to get The predator. Ha, ha, ha. They're here. Freddie's back, bitch.
00:22:50
Speaker
oh with freddie's back bitch His sign-off line for his show is, I'm Bill Pickles, and keep on kicking.
00:22:59
Speaker
I'm Bill Pickles, and I like him spicy. And this guy is played by Bill Pickles. That is his real name in real life. Well, he had to he had to do the ah work, man. His wife got pregnant. They're expecting a little cucumber any he day now.
00:23:13
Speaker
Well, billy Billy Blanks was already taken. Yeah. No, Billy Pickles was first. Billy Blanks wanted that. And he's like, what's your name? Billy Pickles. That's taken. Billy. I'm drawing a blank here. Ooh, Billy Blanks. I like that. Or if I can't have pickles, you can just leave it blank.
00:23:30
Speaker
All right. He was filling out. Yeah, he's filling out the paperwork and he just left the slot blank. And someone was like, sure, if Billy Blanks. it. You got it. Has nothing to that shooting blanks? Your name is Solo. ah But Bill Pickles is a total dick backstage to all of his people.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah. Get this ribbon out of here. I told you nothing on stage taller than me. Every one of these females is taller than Bill Pickles. Every one of them. He's Bill Gherkin. He's so little. Such a tiny little chip.
00:24:01
Speaker
And like I love he's in the back talking to someone on the phone doing like big deal talks, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. i'm watching it. What are you wearing? his assistant comes in and she's got this jacket for him. And she's like, what do you think of this for tomorrow's show?
00:24:15
Speaker
It's just like a red and black, like Letterman jacket type thing. But it says Billy on like the name area, except for it looks like someone just took red tape. And like stuck it on there and like cut it. Like it's all straight strips of red tape. and it says What do you mean? It's so awkward and large. What do you what do you mean? Look like?
00:24:32
Speaker
that' Yes, that is what it is. Yeah. They were like, we can't actually put anything on this jacket. It costs $47. We don't have that in the budget. Did you see what we spent on this? Cause it's not a lot.
00:24:45
Speaker
But he gets grabbed by a mystery man while he's in the green room. but And you hear his ass getting and kicked off screen. Oh, my God. Oh, he's hurting me. He's really, really hurting me.
00:24:56
Speaker
Like they're doing it as like a dramatic thing, but it's just funny when he's getting his ass kicked off screen. He's watching one of his own videos and it's him talking about defending yourself in the streets. And the he's literally like, I know how to defend myself in the streets.
00:25:09
Speaker
I've no nobody messes with me. That's why my face is still so pretty because I'm tough. And it's just like and then he just gets dropped in front of the camera with the claw marks across his face. The titular tiger claws.
00:25:24
Speaker
We cut to this other cop running around who looks like Oh, fuck. Well, you gave me his name, Jack, and I draw on a blank now. Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, Taggart. Taggart. He looks like Taggart from Beverly Hills Cop, but like he's the stunt double that Taggart had before Beverly Hills Cop.
00:25:41
Speaker
For like one a very low budget movie. You want to blow your own mind? Look up how old that actor was when he played Taggart. It's a lot younger than you think. Like 35, probably. Yeah, I think it's younger, but yeah.
00:25:54
Speaker
No. Like, I looked it up and I was like, man, I was doing good in my 30s. Well, we've talked about it before. People didn't drink water. I don't remember my 30s, guys. I don't remember your 30s either.
00:26:05
Speaker
think I got married in my thirty s weird He was 36 when Beverly Hills Cop released. I was so close. 35 filming? Yeah.
00:26:16
Speaker
That's insane. That dude looks like he's ah fucking about to say I'm getting too old for this shit or talk about his pension. i mean Danny Glover was probably in his 30s when they did Lethal Weapon, right?
00:26:29
Speaker
I think he was 40s. His character is turning 40 in that first one, isn't it? Oh, yes. Yeah. Or is that the second one I'm thinking of? Either way. In one of them.
00:26:40
Speaker
He was getting too old for this shit. and He meant working with Mel Gibson. Can you imagine retiring at 45? Can't imagine retiring. Oh, he was 40 in real life. He was 50 in the film.
00:26:53
Speaker
He was turning 50. Yeah. He was turning 50. That's what this Facebook page called Gen X Only says. I feel like he was turning 50 in the later ones. Maybe.
00:27:05
Speaker
i don't know. Time to watch. seventy nine Now I was just going to say I got him on 4K. Let's do it. Fuck. Yeah. Because that's just good. That's just smart. But fake Taggart here is a guy named Henderson.
00:27:18
Speaker
And it's like him interviewing on the news with another person with a ridiculous voice. ah This news reporter is just like, there has been a series of murders and this is Detective Henderson to tell us all about it I'm like, please stop giving her with elves.
00:27:36
Speaker
She is a British Indian, so she does have that accent, but also a speech impediment. yeah So it's just all. It's so it's a lot. it's it's It's a testament to her skill that she made it this far in the news industry at all. Yes.
00:27:51
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, haters be damned. mai I mean, I'm being a jerk, but yes, exactly. She just sounds exactly like marriage. Sweet marriage. Me and bleep almost got kicked out of a wedding by our girlfriends at the time ah because that we went to a buddy's wedding and this chick straight up, not even on purpose, just as the way she sounds with marriage.
00:28:13
Speaker
We are here for the wedding of and just we were shaking laughing. I don't know how anybody heard that person and was just like, yup, that's what I need for my friends not to laugh.
00:28:24
Speaker
I was at a wedding where he actually did that. Like the bride and groom wanted him to say it just like that. Oh, that makes perfect sense. Like that's when when I heard it, i was like, okay, hold on. Maybe there's like like an as you wish thing coming up.
00:28:37
Speaker
Maybe the groom's going to roll in on a hill. Great. It's a good thing I'm not getting married. my My wedding would be expensive. Oh yeah, they're still married. Good idea for our ah vowel renewal one day. I'm just going to roll down a hill. So we were getting our vowels renewed. I've got to learn how to edit.
00:28:56
Speaker
Derek died. yeah Jack, will you ah officiate? Yeah. Are you to like that? Marriage. Marriage brings us together. But this cop fucks everything like the chief gets so mad at him or the captain or whoever, because he's like talking to this this reporter. And he's like, well, like is this a serial killer? Is this the same as the other martial artists who have been killed? He's like, I'm not going serial killer, but there is a death dealer out there who's killing martial arts experts. and She's like, you heard it here first, folks.
00:29:28
Speaker
The death dealer is on the road. This is Barbara Walters. bob wal while here the The death dealer is out there handing out judicious punishment to high end quality people.
00:29:40
Speaker
and the The chief is just like he turns off the TV, looks at fake tagger and just like, brah, you're making it so much worse. You fucking idiot. Guess who just pulled landscaping duty?
00:29:55
Speaker
But Cynthia comes in. She has a theory. She has a theory about this that these people are all because they're they're all being killed. All their internal organs are being crushed, but they have no outward marks except for tiger claws on their face.
00:30:12
Speaker
So she's like, I have a theory. It must be a martial artist. No shit. And fake taggart is like martial arts is crap. I happen to be 15 years learned and skilled. Yeah. I'm 15 years sober. Sorry, wrong meeting. um I'm 15 years skilled and trained, highly trained.
00:30:32
Speaker
So I don't know how old she is in real life at this point, but she's 30 in the movie because she said she's been doing it for 15 years. And later on, she has a heartfelt talk with Tarek about how she started when she was 15.
00:30:44
Speaker
Maybe the writer was just like, I love the number 15. I don't know. That's good math.
00:30:50
Speaker
But I love she's like, she's like, you know, you can do whatever she's showing the guy. She's like, you can disable someone with a strike here. Kind of spars toward his face here. Spars toward his gut. And then here and off camera. And then you just hear like pop.
00:31:03
Speaker
So she just really tapped his sack. yeah And the chief is just laughing. He lifts up his shirt to like look like it's still there. Oh, thank God. It's the only reason I'm still married. And the chief is laughing about it, which is great.
00:31:15
Speaker
like He's just like, you punched that guy in the dick. The chief sucks, dude. He is the worst in a line not good acting. I mean, like she we talked about it last night. It's not a Llamis effect because she's actually competent. She's not amazing, but she's delivering these lines better than anybody, I would say, except maybe Bolo Young is the best deliveries of the movie. Yeah.
00:31:35
Speaker
um But yeah, this chief is the lowest of the rungs. Yes, well he's like, you think it's a martial artist? There must be 10,000 martial artists in town. You two get over here at my desk. Okay, stop now.
00:31:50
Speaker
What do you think you're doing? Time for discipline. Is this where she hands him the script? yeah she's She's going through paperwork and shit and she hands him a folder and like he opens it. We can all see that it's just the script.
00:32:02
Speaker
Now, Whitney spotted it I rewound it just to look. And it's like, yeah, there's blocking on there. There's underlying parts. There's fucking stage instructions. So I just mean we need paper in this folder and that's what they had.
00:32:15
Speaker
It could also be that this guy doesn't know any of his lines. Correct. He's a last minute fill in. that's That was our theory last night that he was a last minute fill in. Which would explain why he's so bad.
00:32:26
Speaker
I do love his... supposed be Richard Kind. Joey Pants. Oh, Joey Pants. He's too young and I can't even... Get in my fucking office. ah Hey, what are you doing over here? come over Come over here and say that to my face.
00:32:40
Speaker
Oh, Ronnie Cox couldn't do it, though. He was doing cop rock. He was busy with cop rock. Yeah. It was supposed to be Ronnie Cox.
00:32:48
Speaker
But I love this fake Taggart guy is like, I'm not working with this woman. and the The chief is just like, cool, then ah you're out and she's in. Go fuck yourself. You're right. You aren't working with her. Got him.
00:33:03
Speaker
Got him. So he's going to team her up with Tarek. who has and been suspended for the other guys fucking up. Yes, but he did kill. He's got a long line of blowing people up in cars.
00:33:19
Speaker
Well, and he did kill their only lead to get to. i mean, ah this is me filling in the blanks. They didn't say I'm assuming it's one of those things where it's like we needed this guy to get to his guy. And instead of having this guy, we now have 374 pieces of this guy yeah Oh, 375.
00:33:35
Speaker
Found one. Come collect what's rest you a goddamn jar.
00:33:41
Speaker
And Tarek lives on a pretty sweet boat. Yeah, ah because he's undercover and we yeah are paying for all of this. Yeah, he has a portion of boat because the the force is paying for it.
00:33:51
Speaker
Go taxes. Makes perfect sense to me. I'm just thinking he needs a jet ski. If any of our listeners want to pay for me to have a boat...
00:34:03
Speaker
I'll live on a houseboat, dude. Patreon.com slash worst people. Just give me the money. I'll buy my own damn houseboat. I loved being on the houseboat. Our new studio is on a boat.
00:34:13
Speaker
Yeah, sometimes the signal's not great, but... But we're happy. The waves actually work with my drunk walking quite well. I've never walked straighter in my life.
Training Scenes and Tiger Claw Technique
00:34:25
Speaker
But Tarek is like super cop here because they're like, we need your help with the case. He's like, let me guess. The death dealer. they're like, yeah. And they show him some pictures. He's like, yeah, I know who these guys are. This is a TV guy. This is a choppy chap guy.
00:34:37
Speaker
He just knows all these people. Is that Bill? Bill! No! And Cynthia, she's like, I need to find out what style the killer is using.
00:34:48
Speaker
He just looks at some of these crime scene photos and goes, it's Foo Jow. Some call it Tiger Claw. but Perfect. ah They just freeze frame at the camera. like, wait, are we going to do anything? No, no. The director said to hold on that. We said tiger claws don't move. we told them We already we already showed the title card of the movie, but let's do it again. Some call it. it's This is Tiger Claus. Longest cold open you've ever seen.
00:35:22
Speaker
I don't know. Those movies that don't get the title card until the credits roll. I'm i'm pretty sure that's just a whole, all the whole thing's a cold open. it There's no movie. The credits are the movie. You see that trailer? Two hour trailer?
00:35:37
Speaker
But there's like a thing he sets up here that they don't really get too deep into because it's not written very well or acted very What do you all the missing pieces? Well, he says that he knows Tiger Claw, but it takes you to the edge both physically and mentally. wow Because they try to do a thing with him in this movie where he's like...
00:35:55
Speaker
he's He's relearning Tiger Claw. Yeah. And it's making him like lose it a little bit and get more violent. And I'm like, well, what's in this fucking karate tea that he has or whatever he called it. Spirit tea, ghost tea, Kung Fu tea, Kung Fu tea.
00:36:08
Speaker
He's what's in this. Cause he's like, yeah, I only drink this shit when I'm training. Mostly meth. it's got, there's some oolong, there's a little bit of like chamomile. Some umami. That would be nice. There's steroids. Steroids? Some testosterone.
00:36:25
Speaker
Human growth hormone. Can we get back to the chamomile? Definitely some stem cells. Should have stopped the chamomile. Oh, with a little ah lavender. Oh, lavender. Okay, I'm back on board now. The lavender is actually going to really offset those steroids in a really nice way.
00:36:42
Speaker
Well, everybody knows if you put steroids and human growth hormone in your tea, it gets really bitter. Yeah. So get that lavender in there to give it a little floral pop. And it's good because caffeine-free because you don't want to have trouble sleeping at night when you're roid-raging.
00:36:56
Speaker
But he does agree to help them if if they'll clear his name. ah But you owe me a paid vacation. Your life is a paid vacation, bro. You got a houseboat. You're going to be dating Cynthia Rothrock. You got a parche.
00:37:09
Speaker
You got a full head of doll hair. Yes, it is. a full This is where it becomes the most obvious because there's a lot of close ups and it's brightly lit because it's outside. it just Just heavy hair plugs and.
00:37:21
Speaker
Black hair dye. He's yeah looking a little bit like Steven Seagal, latter day Steven Seagal. Yes. Like if they dropped him in the water, he would just have streaks down his face. He would Giuliani. Steven was supposed to be the the ah chief.
00:37:35
Speaker
ah No, Steve wanted to be the cop, but he's but he figured out that Cynthia Rothrock could actually kick his ass if he tried anything. said, don't want to do that movie. oh do you think I'm going to make music. um hair oh worry He made Enigma?
00:37:52
Speaker
What? i had Music. but Yeah, the band Enigma? No, they're not music. hey
00:38:05
Speaker
I'm talking about double vision. Oh, you're talking about double vision? I'm talking about double vision. They get partnered up, and he's like, all right, I'll see you tomorrow at 10. And she says, make it eight. So she's the ball buster. I would have loved to go the opposite.
00:38:22
Speaker
Make it 11. I sleep in. Assert that fucking dominance.
00:38:34
Speaker
Geeks with Beards. Do you like action? How about a little comedy? Join the Geeks with Beards podcast when I ask the question, why people like Magneto? What the, babe?
00:38:45
Speaker
We cover all the eras, golden, silver, bronze, and modern. Then you need to check out the Geeks with Beards podcast, available on all streaming sites right now. Geeks with Beards.
00:38:57
Speaker
Hey, mister, I extra $3. I was wondering if there's any way you know I can spend it. Have you heard of Patreon? Never heard of it. What is it? You go to patreon.com slash worst people, give me your $3, and you can listen to a bunch of stuff that's way too inappropriate for your age.
00:39:11
Speaker
Oh, but I'm actually pretty old. I just sound like this. It's like a Benjamin Button thing. But anyway, I was going to ask you, what if I got my mom to give me a couple more bucks and I could give you more money? Oh, that's even better. You can get ad free $5. $5?
00:39:26
Speaker
You also can get access to Latchkey Vids, our TV recap show of forgotten 90s garbage. Oh my God. I don't even know what that is, but I'm excited for it. You should be. So $5 is all I need and I get no more of these commercials.
00:39:38
Speaker
no more commercial No more commercials. more commercials. boy. You get to hear us talk about a singing cop show and more. Well, golly gee willikas, Mr. and Miss. Thanks for all the information. I'm going to go see if I can find a mom to give me $5. Let's go beat that kid up and take his $5.
00:39:55
Speaker
So there's another guy getting killed. This guy. I don't know what the fuck this guy is doing. He's got like these silk flowing. It's not a robe. It's like MC Hammer pants made out of silk. It's his gi made out of silk.
00:40:08
Speaker
But it looks like MC Hammer pants. Yeah, it's closer to MC Hammer than anything else. It looks like something David Bowie would wear. Very wet jerry curls and he's doing this like sword thing. He is drenched.
00:40:19
Speaker
Oh, he's got that soul glow. And one of his people is like talking about like learning the styles in the correct way or whatever. and He's like, it doesn't matter how you what you know. It matters how you look.
00:40:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's traditional with flair. He looks ridiculous with these knives. Yeah. Swords. he They're just flopping. I was like, I've seen Cynthia for like do a thing with her swords and she looks amazing with it. This guy.
00:40:44
Speaker
No. It's all about how you look. No. yeah didn't look Didn't look cool, dude. She is a specialist in weapons. yeah oh and Do you think I don't know this?
00:40:56
Speaker
yeah you I made you watch all those interviews. Then he should have done something else. Demonstrate something else. Don't do your weakest shit. I could probably pass a Cynthia Rothrock quiz. ohs difficult Maybe we'll make one up.
00:41:12
Speaker
Because of you. We'll have your challenge, Derek. You get double points. Ooh, like this. because it's on I get on five seconds.
00:41:22
Speaker
It's unfair to go even with the the master, the Shifu. The Shifu. But yeah, he gets murdered. And it's a pretty cool... Because they're still keeping the killer a mystery, right? We haven't seen him yet.
00:41:35
Speaker
Which I like that. we do see his stumpy fingers. would like it more if Bolo Young wasn't the title card. Correct. I know he's here. But I'm pretty sure that was his... him painting.
00:41:47
Speaker
ah Requirements. Well, ah the the producer slash actor slash everything said like activists. We we wanted to hold back Bolo a little bit, but you know you're here to see Bolo Young. We didn't want to wait too long. Yeah. So I think they did a decent job.
00:42:06
Speaker
But it's cool because like he kills this dude. the The body falls down much bloodier than the previous body. They're getting worse. And then like a different hand comes in because I just commented to these guys about Bolo's sausage fingers. And then you see like a normal hand come in and you're like, what?
00:42:22
Speaker
It's Tarek. They do it. It's a really cool little transition. Yeah, it's him reaching down to inspect the body and then all the lights come on and the room is filled with cops. That's the scene I liked. It's like somebody's that was trying and succeeding right here.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah. yeah They do figure out that the killers keeping trophies because he took this guy's sword. He took Billy something Billy's. I took a pickle pickle.
00:42:46
Speaker
It's true. Yeah, it was a trophy from him um and then something else from somebody else that we didn't see because that didn't happen on camera. And then he takes that guy's necklace later. Yeah. But he's keeping the trophies. He making an offering.
00:42:59
Speaker
Offering. So here's a dropped plot line. Yeah. Because she's like, so he's keeping this stuff so he can admire it. And that's what Tarek says. He's like, or to make an offering. And we fade into this shrine filled with burning candles. And it's big Asian style altar thing.
00:43:15
Speaker
asian style like altertar thing And it's got all this stuff on it. And that never really comes back except for towards the end. Cynthia like destroys the altar while they' she's fighting Bolo.
00:43:26
Speaker
So we had hypothesized that there's supposed to be a supernatural plot here that got cut. Yeah. So they could keep the movie at 92 minutes. He was unbeatable until she did that. Yeah.
00:43:39
Speaker
It would make the most sense, I guess. Yeah. I would liked it. It would have added a little something, a little zhuzh to this.
Karate Tournament and Character Interactions
00:43:47
Speaker
I mean, they they were like, look at Bolo. He doesn't need supernatural assistance. That guy is undefeatable. This is Cynthia's second time on the podcast, right? Yeah, because we did undefeatable for the month of action. Action, action, action. action ah The eyes have it.
00:44:01
Speaker
ah So Tarek and Cynthia go looking for trainers, people who teach Tiger Claw. So they do this questioning montage where I'm pretty sure they're just walking up to real people on the streets and asking them strange questions. That's it i was going to say, because everyone's just kind of like, no, no, no. Get the fuck away from me.
00:44:15
Speaker
No, no, no, no. And then they come across a guy with an eye patch. He looks like he's taught or learned Kung taught or learned kung fu Yeah, and he points them somewhere and then she goes into ah convenience mart and runs out happy because she got a number or an address. She got an address. Ooh, I got the clerk's number. He was so cute. So cute. my God. He asked if I wanted to hang out and i said, we can kick it.
00:44:46
Speaker
He asked, can you kick it? And she's like, yes, I can. She just kicked something next to her. oops
00:44:54
Speaker
So they go to this ah dojo and there's a guy there practicing drunken style. I think you were getting a drink, Jack, so I don't think you saw this. But it was pretty cool. was practicing my own drunken style. I said the only the only way could be better if it was Mako.
00:45:07
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. He's doing the thing where he's like, you know, the drunken style thing. If you've ever seen drunken master or whatever with with ah Jackie Chan where he's like falling over and shit, but it's all intentional.
00:45:18
Speaker
Mm hmm. And there they tell this guy they're looking for a master that teaches tiger so that Tarek can learn because he wants to learn. We're not cops, dude. We're definitely not cops.
00:45:30
Speaker
Hold on. Hold on. I have my badge. Tarek is like, we have some important questions for him. Nothing serious about what I want to learn tiger style. You sounded like cop there for a second. Where was he on July 3rd?
00:45:44
Speaker
Not a cop. But they can't get any help there. So they leave and drunken guy is getting bullied in the alley. we are not going to talk just breeze over the four old guys playing their Chinese poker. i have i have a group of guys every Friday morning that sit in the corner of my bar and play poker.
00:46:05
Speaker
Fuck you if you have a large party. They are they are there. You can work around them. It's funny because we we had our biggest fans we had commented that those guys because none of them have lines.
00:46:17
Speaker
One of them, ah the guy is like, yeah, he's a master, but he won't teach anybody. So don't bother. So like nobody interacts with them. and it's like, those guys were actually just in this dojo playing backroom poker.
00:46:28
Speaker
And they're like, we're going to make this movie. Can you guys get out while we shoot this scene? And they're like, No. They're probably playing Mahjong. We rented the little room, though. Yeah, you can film the room. I'm just going to be in it.
00:46:40
Speaker
The guy just just flicks him fucking a dollar coin. He's like, here, this for the corner of the room we're keeping. i
00:46:49
Speaker
We were rented this room for $8. Yeah, well, we're keeping this part. Well, not this part.
00:46:55
Speaker
But, yeah, drunken guy is out there getting bullied, so Terrick and Cynthia show up and fight these dudes off for him. She ends up grabbing a jump rope and, like, putting this guy in some really complex bondage knots. Yes. Oh, yeah.
00:47:08
Speaker
I got a little happy. She's into some stuff. We learned it here. You learned it here, folks. you don't know you don't You're not that quick at those knots without experience.
00:47:19
Speaker
Because it's not just like you know around his wrists, around his back. to like ti It's like this very complex system of knots. Our safe word is pickle. pickle! She skipped the step where she wraps around his balls, though, before she puts it around his neck.
00:47:36
Speaker
No, they they had a take of it, and they're like, yeah, we're not making that movie. ah So the guy I love, it's like a video game. The guy's like, well, since you helped me, I will give you information.
00:47:48
Speaker
And he tells them they're looking for Sifu Chao, a man with scars on his face. I wonder how he got those scars. I didn't know. Jack taught me that Sifu means master.
00:48:00
Speaker
And that actually helped us in some of the scenes where they're speaking Chinese. Not to be confused with the Sufi. Yeah, not to be confused with ah Dane Cook. Sifu Sufi.
00:48:11
Speaker
Yeah, know. No one's ever been confused with Dane Cook. That's not true. Harvey Weinstein would have in his younger years, but... ah He makes a really dark, valid point, y'all. But we learned that that means master, and there are scenes where they're speaking Chinese and there's no subtitles, and you can kind of pick up what it's like, ah you know, I am your master. I'm the master now. and like Look at me. yeah I'm the master now.
00:48:35
Speaker
Look at me. I'm the master now.
00:48:39
Speaker
Yes, for those who and never heard my episode on Double Impact with the guys over at B Action, I hypothesized that Bolo Young is dubbed over in that movie because his voice is actually like this. But we get his voice in this movie, and it's only like that in one scene. so it's the best that It's the best scene in What'd you see?
00:48:58
Speaker
What'd you see? ah So they go off to a karate tournament, which looks nothing like the karate tournaments from Karate Kid. And I'm very disappointed. Work believe this they actually look like.
00:49:11
Speaker
Yeah, no, this is definitely what they really like. This is closer to Lionheart. Yeah. Like an underground garage but brawl. Well, this is like it's a it's a like a gymnasium filled with people. And then they just have like four areas marked off and fights are all happening at the same time. sure it's a real tournament happening.
00:49:31
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'm pretty is what they look like because I think that's what's happening. Yeah. Especially with Steve Zahn.
00:49:39
Speaker
man. it If done correctly, no can defend. Oh, man. Wax on, wax off. it's Especially from Steve Zahn from ah The Gemstones.
00:49:51
Speaker
That's what that guy looked like. Yeah, because I had written down skinny ponytail John Goodman. Because he's got the he's got the kind of ah ah shaded...
00:50:03
Speaker
Aviator lenses that he wear that John Goodman wears in Big Lebowski.
Undercover Work and Training Montage
00:50:07
Speaker
The headband. and And he's got the headband. But then she said Steve's on, and I was like, yeah. I did not watch my friends die face down in the muck so I can come to this karate tournament in the garage basement of a Sears.
00:50:20
Speaker
I sure as hell don't fucking kick on Chabas. I'm sitting here, and I'm finishing my karate.
00:50:30
Speaker
oh and there's also a guy running around here who looks like an older version of the singer from The Killers. He doesn't kick a thing like Jesus, but he fucks like a gentleman.
00:50:42
Speaker
He does look like the dude from Creed. I guess there's just a lot of Canadians running around who look like other people. Yeah. I mean, your flies wide open. Is Canada like ah the underground tunnels thing from us?
00:50:56
Speaker
We're like they just like we have Americans and then they make copies of them over there that are a little bit different. or no No, actually, you know what? What is your theory? You never saw the movie Us? No. Jordan Peele? Oh. Oh, it's fantastic. was like, we might be the copies, though, because we're the violent ones.
00:51:11
Speaker
We're the shitty ones. The Canadians are the real ones, and we're the copies. Yeah, because they used to be violent. Yeah, they they can still get violent. Fuck with their Canadian geeses. That's why we want to go up there and take Canada, just like in us. Yeah.
00:51:24
Speaker
right. You should watch us, Jack. It's pretty good. I'll watch you guys right now.
00:51:31
Speaker
um But the Scarface man, Sifu Chao, just happens to settle in the crowd right next to Tarek. Very convenient for the plot. he Very convenient. He pushes his way in to stand next to him.
00:51:43
Speaker
It's the best seat in the house. It's the best stand in the house. Tarek's like, hey, I'm looking for a guy that teaches tiger style. Do you know any? And the guy's just like, nope. And just like walks away. like Well, that didn't work.
00:51:55
Speaker
Hey, I'm not a cop. I can't be more clear on that. I'm not a cop. I just have a series of questions for you if you wouldn't mind answering them. Where were you? Do you teach tiger style?
00:52:07
Speaker
What's your favorite color? And do you want to go on a date later? Yeah. So they do follow the guy they're like, I know that was him. he had He had scars on his face.
00:52:20
Speaker
but Nobody at this tournament has scars on their face. They just get kicked in the face for a living. Yeah. But they follow him to his he living dojo, which is in an abandoned movie theater, which is pretty fucking sweet. i was going to say Derek would love to live in an abandoned movie theater.
00:52:34
Speaker
Oh, yeah. As long as they leave the projector behind. Sam Elliott's in there just living with his mouthwash and his... What else did have in A liquor bottle? razor Razor? He wasn't using a razor, hon.
00:52:45
Speaker
No, he was not. But while they're... staking out the movie theater. They have a little conversation. That's where we learn about when she started karate and stuff. But she mentions that she studied or that she ah grew up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And I was like, Jack's going to be happy. He likes the office.
00:53:03
Speaker
Oh, thought meant because that's where Biden's from. ah look yeah. yeah I'm more excited about the office. You know that. That's why he's so boring because he's from the town that makes paper.
00:53:14
Speaker
It's the electric city. What? Like, yeah. I'm assuming that's from the office. Yeah. All right. But he wants to go in. She won't let him. She wants to stay out and get pictures. So they do.
00:53:28
Speaker
And then later on that night, a blondie mustache guy, Derek's friend gets marked. He gets fucking jumped by Bolo and gets murdered. Sad, sad.
00:53:40
Speaker
Bolo steak. We don't know it's Bolo. Well, this is. Yeah, this is where we first see Bolo because we saw him in the dojo. Yeah. and I just love him painting. They also put him in like baggy sweats so he doesn't look just ripped his shit.
00:53:55
Speaker
But come on, buddy. But Bolo painting is just. Yeah, I couldn't find a a so picture of it. I'm going to have to go get a screenshot because his like his glasses are low down and he's just always looking over his shoulder and just like the goofiest smile. look at everybody. that Good side eye.
00:54:12
Speaker
But that was that was our theory was that like he's running around in sweatpants and a sweatshirt this whole time because it's supposed to be like the oh, we're hiding that he's a ah martial arts master. You can't see that this man is the Chinese Hercules.
00:54:24
Speaker
Which is his nickname. Just and kate before anybody who doesn't know says something about me saying something racist like the Chinese Hercules, which just sounds bad. That is what he was known as. Yes, it was. Yeah.
00:54:35
Speaker
But yeah, it's like, let me hide these muscles. like All right, guys. It's like if I put on a baggy sweatshirt and I was like, look, I'm not fat.
00:54:45
Speaker
I'd have to get a pretty big sweatshirt for me. Same. I am so skinny. Yeah.
00:54:53
Speaker
But yeah, that's Bolo Young, who people might know. We haven't had him on the show yet, but most people know him probably from- Oh, no, never mind. You did Double Impact. Yeah, yeah. like i Most people in the real world would probably know him from like Enter the Dragon or Bloodsport.
00:55:09
Speaker
Yeah. Those are his big ones. Is it Skink? No, it's him.
00:55:16
Speaker
Bloodsport. Does it look like that when I do it? It looks you're jerking off two dudes. Yeah. Thank you. I'm doing the hands like this. This is me just, I'm grabbing the dicks and then cranking them like I'm pumping they're coming my armpits. It looked like you were riding a horse there for a second, Derek. Or a team of horses.
00:55:33
Speaker
Quach, quach. Great audio content. He does also show up in TC 2000. So that's what i'll want to talk about. And a movie we watched together recently.
00:55:44
Speaker
Do you guys remember the movie we watched or is it left your brains? Oh, is it with ah William Zabka? Yes. Shoot fighter colon fight to the death. You do love your colons.
00:55:56
Speaker
Yeah. I remembers it. ah Not the name. With Billy Zabka, Bolo Young and. Somebody else and then a bunch of nobodies. Wasn't Billy. It wasn't.
00:56:07
Speaker
It was. um Crease. Oh, yeah. John Crease is. Oh, yeah. Good call. Whose real name? I can't recall right now. Oh, Martin Cove. I pay attention sometimes, guys.
00:56:19
Speaker
Yeah, he's the... Just not to us. He's douchebag karate guy in that movie. Weird. Oh, weird. hope he doesn't get typecast. So Tarek gets pissed at Cynthia because he's like, dude, if we were taking more action and less photographs, my friend would still be alive.
00:56:33
Speaker
Meh. what like What do you want to do? You're trying. you're You're doing the worst search in history, dude. Hey, I'm not a cop. I just need to ask you some questions. Not a cop. I'm not a cop. I'm just going to take some notes on this legal pad.
00:56:47
Speaker
If you could speak into the microphone. You could buy them anywhere. And then I'm going to go over to my car that has lights on the top of it. Just because I'm using legal pads doesn't mean I'm a cop. Okay? Plenty of other people use... Criminals use legal pads.
00:56:59
Speaker
Even though they're very illegal people. I was like, those are illegal pads. Damn it, they make those? Yeah. Yeah. It's specifically for keeping notes about your comings and goings with drug dealing.
00:57:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, we know that the drug dealer is very very big on writing down things and keeping receipts. Yeah, there's a thing and the in the on the illegal pad in the margins. There's like a little conversion thing for like grams to ounces and whatnot. Yeah. They have that the back of the composition books too.
00:57:29
Speaker
Oh my God, they do, don't they? yeah but you think Those are the illegal books. Composition books are the illegal books.
00:57:38
Speaker
So Tarek goes in and like spies on the tiger training and people and they're like, what are you doing here? He's like, I want to train. So they let him train. Well, at first, the guy's like, we don't take beginners. He's like, I'm not a beginner.
00:57:51
Speaker
I studied under Sifu Ho Chang. And the guy's like, what the fuck? Sifu Ho Chang. He just from Canton. Did he just drop Sifu Ho Chang?
00:58:03
Speaker
you know what one That's the number one Sifu. You know what then? You start tomorrow.
00:58:11
Speaker
Montage. i'm go great You start tomorrow. I'm alright. Ain't nobody about me. Just while he's doing kicks and thrusts and tiger clawing.
00:58:22
Speaker
He's doing that weird bend thing where he's squatting. and is He's squatting sideways. Kach. Never mind. Squatting sideways. I'm not sure what she's talking about.
00:58:35
Speaker
Tarek is like, he's got. Crouching? Yeah, he's crouching. So like squatting sideways. The squatting sideways is where I'm getting. So his legs are doing the splits. He's got his legs out and he's crouching down.
00:58:46
Speaker
Yes. Okay. His legs are going in opposite directions. crab. He's doing crab legs. Because they're going out the side of his body. Squatting sideways equals crab legs.
00:58:58
Speaker
Got it. But like Cynthia and the captain are having a talk about whatever's sober guys. talk I'm going to talk about whatever's going on. Tarek comes in. He's like, yeah, don't worry about all that stupid bullshit you're doing.
00:59:10
Speaker
I got accepted to do training. And this is like one of the, this is where the captain, he gets worse as the movie goes along. Yeah. Not better. filmed it backwards. And like here it's just like, I don't like it.
00:59:22
Speaker
Anything could happen. Yeah. It's not just a period in between each word. It's like a paragraph break. Yeah. I don't like it. It's not good for the oh hi my department.
00:59:38
Speaker
Oh, you're my favorite detective.
00:59:43
Speaker
I mean, you could have put Tommy Wiseau in here and it would have fucking slipped right in. Perfectly. I mean, some of those other movies that I mentioned, he could definitely have been in and by accident because a lot of them are filmed in Eastern Europe and got to be out there somewhere.
00:59:58
Speaker
Yeah, he's out there. He's definitely out there. um So Tarek takes her out for the best pasta in town, which is some shit he microwaved on his boat.
01:00:10
Speaker
that's He did probably did microwave it. He probably did make it. I think Canada's got a little Italy somewhere. There's got to be. Well, he wanted Chinese. But he isn't. They're in New York. If you have best pasta in town, eat on your boat.
01:00:22
Speaker
Uh-uh. They're in a microwave. ah But they have like a little another bonding moment. And I was commenting to these guys. I was like, there's ah love, like a romance subplot here.
01:00:34
Speaker
Yeah. But they're not showing a lot of it because it's. They're not focusing on it. 92 minutes in and out. Let's do this. And the two minutes are the credits at the end. So 90 minute movie. Yeah. So it's like the only way you can tell is if she's if Cynthia is wearing like a pantsuit or something professional looking. How much skin we getting?
01:00:52
Speaker
Exactly. When they're doing romance scenes, strapless dress, backless dress, various dresses that show various parts of body. I do like when the the tip off into the flirting is when Tarek is wearing wire.
01:01:08
Speaker
I think we're coming up to that right now. Yeah. Yeah. Tarek is wearing a wire and to go into training and everything. And as he's walking away, he goes. by the way, I love your perfume.
01:01:19
Speaker
And then struts on away. stops does it Yeah, he does it over the wire. Yeah. Which makes it even weirder because he's like, I left the room and she's like, does he know he's wearing a wire? Did he just whisper that to himself? I hope this smell stays on when I go home and masturbate to her.
01:01:33
Speaker
Oh, that's a live mic. Okay. oh there There was an awkward moment in there too because they're talking and He says something about like, I was thinking about back thinking back to when I trained in Tiger style and she just very bluntly goes, is that when your wife left you?
01:01:50
Speaker
Oh, and he's just like, yeah. Wow. You came in hot, Cynthia. Sorry, Tenthia.
01:01:59
Speaker
But yeah, he does go in and has to do like his first day of training is fight all the guys. Yep. Are you worthy? Exactly. And Bolo does his like sitting there smirking thing. That's most of the movie is I I'm pretty sure they got one shot of Bolo sitting by this wall and smirking and they just kept inserting it. Yes. He's like, I'm not wearing sweats again. This is it. You get me one shot wearing covering up these beautiful muscles.
01:02:26
Speaker
Yeah. um but he kicks everybody's asses, so he gets accepted. It's very annoying as a person. like I'm thinking about me as like if I was in his position.
01:02:37
Speaker
You talk to the guys. You're like, yeah, trained under Master, whoever we said. They're like, okay, cool. Sifu Ho Chao. So, okay, come back tomorrow. We'll train. Come back tomorrow. All right, now fight all these guys.
01:02:48
Speaker
Cool, you did that. Now come back tomorrow. We'll train. We'll really train tomorrow. Promise. I'm here right now. I've been here for 20. You know how long it takes to get that fucking subway across town to get to this fucking abandoned movie theater? First of all, I have to drive my boat to the dock.
01:03:03
Speaker
Okay. Then i have to get my Porsche valet. i have to pull my house into the harbor. This theater doesn't even have its own valet, so I have to go down the street and get a valet there and then walk the rest of the way? Oh, great. Now I've been towed for parking in a red lane ah red light district.
01:03:26
Speaker
So Tarek does end up meeting Bolo Young. And eric one of these other guys. name is Chong. Yeah, Chong. One of these other guys, I did not get all their
Strip Club Scene and Tarek's Surprise
01:03:37
Speaker
names. I think Johnny maybe is the main one that hates Tarek. But the rest of them, I i don't know.
01:03:41
Speaker
okay But one of the ones who doesn't hate Tarek is like, hey, I'm going to take you to somewhere else tonight. We're going go to a secret spot. And he's like, oh, you know more Tiger Clubs? Cut to Strip Club. Yep, the three of them. Chong, Billy, Chong, me, something with an m and then Tarek.
01:03:59
Speaker
And all I could think was I didn't know that I needed to see Bolo Young in a strip club in my life. Yeah, it's pretty because he's Bolo Young. His eyes are close half of the time. Oh, that's why he's wearing sweats. It's not to hide his muscles. it's because he knows these dudes go to the strip club and he's like, yeah, I put a don't worry, I'm wearing pants.
01:04:16
Speaker
Got my gray sweatpants. Got my gray sweats on. Yeah, he got the gray sweat so sweatpants notice. Yeah. He's like, oh, look, when she rubs against me, oh, that's weird. Oh, it's almost like you're actually touching it. Oh, my.
01:04:30
Speaker
This strip club is called the Tiger's Den. Oh, it And Tarek's like, when I asked if you knew other tiger clubs, i didn't mean like this. These
Gangsters and Fight at the Strip Club
01:04:38
Speaker
wacky two guys. ah Friends like these.
01:04:44
Speaker
And ah oh, and Cynthia had been stranded. Yes. We have to mention that because her car wouldn't start. Yeah. and So she had to call for a tow truck. And since this involves the government, that means she's going to be three to seven hours before they get there. there Seven days.
01:04:57
Speaker
ah Business days. Business days. Oh, it's a Friday. You're fucked. well, sorry, hon. These fucking gangster dudes come in, which are the same dudes that were jumping drunk guy earlier.
01:05:11
Speaker
And they've got guns and they're like, we're here but for Sing, the leader or the guy who owns the club because he owes us money. Question mark. It doesn't matter. This
Character Relationships and Tarek's Descent?
01:05:21
Speaker
is just here so that Tarek can prove himself even further by fighting off a bunch of dudes with guns.
01:05:28
Speaker
And then long hair. He starts fighting some long hair fucking Chinese Fabios. Yes. Yeah. We have two different Fabios. We have like ah i mean a vaguely Asian Fabio and then ah straight up Chinese Fabio. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:45
Speaker
And like, course they just these these guys come running in. They're wearing like this denim jeans, white T-shirts, long flowing hair. And they both just run in slow motion shooting until they get fucking blasted in the stomach.
01:05:57
Speaker
well it's just it's It's pretty glorious, actually. They get a couple guys shot. It's a fun scene. So Tarek goes in, kicks a bunch of dudes asses. Bolo starts kicking people's asses. He's like, I've got sweatpants on, bitch.
01:06:10
Speaker
Cynthia is probably back up saying there's a robbery. Yeah, yeah, she calls the cops to come down. She can hear everything. She ends up, she gets there and ends up stopping because Tarek is about to use Tiger Claw on one of the guys. Or no, is it?
01:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, Tarek, Chong stops him. it, it's Chong that stops him. Yeah, not Cynthia. Yeah. Because he's like, he's got the hand up and he's about to do it and Chong's like, no. not worthy. Is that what it That guy doesn't deserve it.
01:06:38
Speaker
Don't use your tiger power on him. Yeah. It's not worthy.
01:06:44
Speaker
And yeah, that kind of feeds into what I was talking about, his like descent into darkness kind of storyline. Because he tells Cynthia when they're hanging out on the boat after this scene, like, if Chong hadn't stopped me, I would have killed a man. Yeah.
01:06:56
Speaker
So
Cynthia's Fight at the Pool Hall
01:06:57
Speaker
Chong can't be the bad guy. No. Yeah. It would let me. do me It's either Sifu Chow or his sidekick James or Jimmy or Johnny or Johnny. or Fuck this guy is Jack. Oh, James.
01:07:10
Speaker
and so That's in my next part of my notes. Because Tarek goes after James. He works. He works at this billiard hall. it Doesn't look like he's working. He's wearing a leather jacket and playing pool, but I guess that's what you do. Bouncer?
01:07:24
Speaker
No, no, no. like He's the bar pro. they see They said he works there, but his job is hustling people. Oh, got it. Respect. It's like ah Charlie Sheen in that Nick Cage movie Deadfall.
01:07:36
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. No, I don't know it. um Is there a cricket sound effect on here? it's It's a rare one. I don't know that one. Love those two.
01:07:48
Speaker
um No, no crickets. um
01:07:58
Speaker
World's smallest gong in your hand that makes that noise. Sorry, I'm waiting for like a big booming voice to tell me something prolific.
01:08:07
Speaker
But he goes in there and turn your underwear inside out and get another day or no. It's not Tarek that goes there. It's Cynthia because she goes with ah some uniform cop and the guy's like, yeah she's like, go around back in case he tries to run. He's like, oh, I hope he fucking does. And she's like, dude, i need you to be serious. to Chill the fuck out.
01:08:27
Speaker
You don't want that smoke because this is her chance to have a fight because he just had a couple of fights. So she goes in and then has to fight a pool hall full of hoodlums. Yeah. um And james goes James runs for it, kicks the shit out of that uniform cup, so he got his wish.
01:08:45
Speaker
Oh, damn it. She's going to tell everybody I said that, too. And then right before he got run over, he said, I hope he does try to run.
01:08:56
Speaker
And he she like she runs around back, and the guy she's got a gun pointed at at James. He has tiger claw to this dude's neck as if it's like a ah hostage standoff. you know like I'm holding the gun to this guy It's just tiger claw. now knows how tiger claw works. so Yeah, but you think you're quicker. like I mean, a knife at least, like, oh, when he dies, he could still slit across the throat. Come on.
01:09:19
Speaker
I guess if he's already pushing up in there, if he gets shot, he'll... Also, he's using he's using cop as a shield. So, yeah. mean, that's the main thing. They have a why you shoot through the person.
01:09:31
Speaker
Shoot. They have a pretty great alley fight. And ah Jack, I noticed while we were watching, took note of the same thing I did. ah He grabs her and has her like kind of she can't get away and she does a full on like over the back scorpion kick.
01:09:45
Speaker
Dude, this woman's leg goes behind her and up in front of her face. Yeah, it wasn't like saying it wasn't even like six to midnight, dude. It was fucking it was like six to two two o'clock. yeah Yeah, six to like 145.
01:10:01
Speaker
If you guys didn't listen to the other Cynthia Rothrock, Defeatable. Undefeatable. Undefeatable. Well, he was defeatable. um No, she's not. Cynthia Rothrock is the person that Sonya from Mortal Kombat. Yes.
01:10:20
Speaker
That they mirrored. They based Sonya Blade on Cynthia Rothrock. Yeah. Because you get in another fight scene, she does the handstand and grabs them.
01:10:32
Speaker
was And when we were talking about undefeatable, she's got she's got red hair. I'm pretty sure pretty bad red wig most that movie. But most of her career is this that's background.
01:10:44
Speaker
That doesn't help us. Not at all. Make it really, really small. yeah is this blonde hair, which is Sonya Blade. She looks like she's about to speak British. but She does, doesn't she?
Interrogation and Cop Movie Conventions
01:10:59
Speaker
I was going to ask you question about what happened to my partner.
01:11:05
Speaker
but Yeah, she beats that dude and like they take him into the police station and she's saying like, oh, he claims he ran because of the cocaine. Now, what does that mean? Because he was high on cocaine? Because he had cocaine in his pocket? Yeah. Did it both. All of the above.
01:11:21
Speaker
I did a line. I felt like running. If you have cocaine in your pocket, you're probably high on cocaine. Yeah. You're not carrying it around and not doing it unless you're a drug dealer. And even then, sometimes you do get high on your own supply. Yeah.
01:11:34
Speaker
I've seen Scarface. of I've known drug dealers. I've seen Scarface. They interrogate him and they they find out he has a an alibi. He's like, I was at the pool hall the night in question and they're like, they're like, no, you weren't. You didn't sign in. Your boss says you aren't on the thing. And he's like, that's because I worked for one of my friends. So I didn't sign in.
01:11:55
Speaker
I have 20 witnesses. Yeah. He also yells, kiss my yellow ass at one point. Yeah, he does. No, OK.
01:12:03
Speaker
He said it, not me. Yeah, no, I'm fine with him saying it all day. You better keep it out of your mouth, mister. Gonna get fucking canceled over here for quoting a movie. But so, of course, it's a cop movie, and we're getting to the end of the second act, so they get taken off the case.
01:12:20
Speaker
What? Chief. Tweedledum and Tweedledumber. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was our case, Al. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But that's not going to stop them. They can Tarek and Cynthia continue because we love our Linda Linda Linda Masterson tender.
01:12:38
Speaker
We love our fascist regime cop movies where they can do whatever they want. i I mean that we love those. Oh yeah. Yeah. I do love them. I just wish people didn't watch them and think that's how we should do things in real life.
01:12:53
Speaker
Yeah. Supposed
Bolo Young Revealed as Villain
01:12:54
Speaker
to be just a fucking nice little fantasy.
01:12:58
Speaker
But we have another scene with Bolo now. he gets We get his full like reveal of Bolo being the villain. He takes his clothes off and he does some muscle stretches. Well, first, the tiger, Sifu Chao, is training by himself.
01:13:12
Speaker
And it's a really cool shot. I mean, it's you know it's all low-budget stuff. This weapons check looks awesome. But he's sitting there doing this the bo staff stuff. And then like the camera. like so
01:13:24
Speaker
What in the hell? He pointed the fan at the bookcase behind him and knocked over his things. It's fine. ah The camera starts to pull out and Bolo just like walks in from off camera. And as soon as he steps on screen, it's like these like drums start. It's like. dude you could do to could dode And I'm like, it's going down. It's the guy from the beginning. He just switched drum sets. He's in the dojo. but doo ah Probably. That would have been hilarious. I know they're not going for comedy.
01:13:55
Speaker
But the master is giving him shit. He's like, how come you never train or whatever? so he's like, OK, cool. I'll train. Well, this is where we get the what you say. Oh, no yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Because that's where he says, yeah he's like, why you never train?
01:14:09
Speaker
What you say? dude it is the best delivery of anything ever.
01:14:16
Speaker
I know what the Canadian version of an Oscar is, but it needs it.
01:14:22
Speaker
That's just a Oscar. Oscar Oscar. Oscar. They're sitting like crisscross applesauce talking, and whatever. And then Bolo just like loses his shit and starts killing this dude.
01:14:35
Speaker
Well, they're doing their like dancing hand thing because they're doing their training and he's just Bolo is just showing that he can overpower. He's letting the Tiger Beast within.
01:14:49
Speaker
Yeah. assume i think there's probably a conversation. Destroys. There's probably the conversation in Chinese that we don't understand. It's like, hey, I don't need you anymore. Like, I'm better than you. Yeah. The only thing we picked up old.
01:15:02
Speaker
Somewhere in there, he says Sifu. And this is what were talking about. Because we're almost certain that he says, I'm the master now. Because yeah right before he tiger claws him. Yeah. yeah ah i'd I'd put money on that. And so he does. He tiger claws him.
01:15:15
Speaker
And then just to put the button on the on the story for the people who are a little slow, for Slow Joe in the black back row back there, they go through flashbacks of all the murders, but now you see Bolo Young there. You see his.
01:15:29
Speaker
It's like he's envisioning it and getting off on it. It was him the whole time. And seeing it, Back to left. It is like he's getting off on it because it's showing all the stuff, and then it cuts to him, and he's just sitting there like, Oh, house up, oh, my house up.
01:15:45
Speaker
Well, he does that in a second because all these other students come in. The the other three students and Chong has to fight them all. And the fight lasts about 15 seconds. They've got two of them have both staffs. One of them has a spear and he just takes all these dudes out.
01:15:59
Speaker
yeah And then, he yeah, he picks up the spear or the one of the staffs. He's just standing over their bodies like, yeah, yeah. I am man. I have made fire. It's like one of the scariest things I've ever seen is Bolo Young in a room by himself yelling.
01:16:15
Speaker
With yeah bodies. What'd you say?
01:16:21
Speaker
Somebody else must come in. My next note just says, why? Bonk and cackle. Um, Tarek. Bonk and cackle? Does Tarek come in or is it? Yeah. Okay. Tarek and Linda come up and he's like, that's right I'll go through the front, you go to the back. So she's checking out where he lives.
01:16:39
Speaker
And Tarek sees all the bodies and he's like, but why? Yeah, and then fucking Bolo bonks him and laughs and runs out. That's why i wrote Bonk and Cackle. The old Bonk and Cackle.
01:16:54
Speaker
um They realize that Tarek's cover was probably blown by Chong, but it doesn't really matter at this point because we're at the end of the movie. They did talk
Climatic Fight Scene
01:17:02
Speaker
about, well, on the thing, let's get um on his wire. wire
01:17:11
Speaker
Let's get it translated. And then she gets the translation. She's like, it says you're a cop. So and yeah James says you're a cop to his face when he first went in. Okay. Okay.
01:17:22
Speaker
So his he never had a cover. They all did. But like, oh, they were doing the training thing. His sweatshirt says cop. this Property of and NYPD.
01:17:34
Speaker
They were doing a training thing earlier. We've seen in other martial arts movies where you have like the big metal thing filled with something and it's being heated up. Oh, yeah. So like some of the guys had sand. Tarek was doing it with water that had like a chain in it.
01:17:48
Speaker
We get Bolo doing it right now. Bolo Young gets oil. I think it's still just water, but it's boiling. It's not just hot like this stuff. Oh, I thought it was supposed to be like fucking searing oil. Oh. Well, either way, it's just to show how tough he is because yeah they show it boiling and he like he's putting his hands in there and just leaving them there. He's picking up handfuls of it and like squeezing it down his face and Rubs it on his face, drips it in his tongue, in his mouth.
01:18:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's doing it for somebody. Closed this whole time. That's why I think it was oil. Somebody got hard. Eh. me Was it me? I don't remember. it was me.
01:18:20
Speaker
But i do love when they go in and raid the back room where he is, his little shrine room. Like right before that they showed Chong doing more training by himself and it's just him like crushing an apple and crushing a pear. I'm like, I get it. Like an apple is hard and that's tough, but don't use an apple that's super brown. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Well, just, I mean, like can we go just a little bit more on the nose having break bricks or something like punch? Yeah.
01:18:45
Speaker
The apple. just says Yes. It's something I can't do. It doesn't look tough. He also is throwing it up in the air and then catching it and then crushing it. Yeah. And throws the other one up in the air and then catches it and crushes Well, and that's I think that's what our ah background scene hears from.
01:19:03
Speaker
Yes. Is when he's doing the stuff. But he's like, again, looks like he's gearing up for a hard karaoke song. But like, dude, someone Photoshop a microphone in his hand.
01:19:15
Speaker
And I, all by myself. He's got the claws of a tiger. He will kill you right now.
01:19:27
Speaker
But because he's so big, his fingers, it doesn't look so big bad here, but when we're watching the movie, they look sausage-y. They look so big. He's got a big dick. can I say? Those stubby fingers squeezing the apples is what I'm getting at. It's also the least intimidating thing. It's just like,
Cop's Light-hearted Moment
01:19:42
Speaker
meh.
01:19:44
Speaker
It's like you got one of those little guys from Star Wars that's like a bad baby, but he's just squeezing a marshmallow in his hand. Zalens? That sounds right. Yeah. Oh, Tiger style.
01:19:57
Speaker
Yeah, Babu Frick. What you say? ah But he hears them come in. um Cynthia finds like ah a board of all the killings that he's done, but he's got like red ah red string on it like Pepe Silva style.
01:20:13
Speaker
Just helping her out, dude. yeah I was like, are you piecing together? You're like every time I could do tiger style. I black out. So I'm trying to remember what I did. i just came to and my hands were like this.
01:20:25
Speaker
ah They were covered in blood. ah She does find the shrine and then the music kicks in, which means a fight's about to start. Yeah, it does. So you have Bolo and Cynthia fight. It's a shorter fight, but it's almost immediately followed by a real fight. Just drumming along.
01:20:40
Speaker
Yeah. And this is cool because it's like she does break the altar right here. Well, the the music, I mean, there's the drums and then there's like ah what was the other?
01:20:51
Speaker
I can't the other sound and then there's like a sexy bass line going on too. It's like a very like stereotypical 80s action movie score. I want to there's some sort of woodwind. Yeah, there's sort of flute.
01:21:03
Speaker
We talked all about it while we were watching it. Yeah, because the bass line is pure sex. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like fighting music and then just like, yeah, the... barrel wow wow wow Was it this that I was like, is that Flea with a bass or was that the room?
01:21:20
Speaker
I couldn't tell you.
01:21:25
Speaker
But like, yeah, they have a fight. She destroys the shrine and he gets all pissed about that. They end up fighting a little bit with swords and then back to hand in hand. And then Tarek interrupts. And Bolo takes off and they go to chase him. And as they're leaving the movie theater, the douchebag cops, Tweedledum and Tweedledummer, just come walking out of a dark alley. They're like, hey, that's Tarek.
01:21:49
Speaker
The fuck were you doing in that dark alley? Exactly. Wiping their mouths. The audio people can't see you wiping your face. But they literally walk out of like the darkest space and they're just like, hey, that's Tarek. Hey, this we have to respond to this ah code 69 in the alley if you catch my draft partner. I
01:22:10
Speaker
got these new handcuffs I want to try out. ah when When I watched Cynthia Rothrock tie that guy up earlier, it gave me some very good ideas. he Let's do this one for Bill Pickles.
01:22:23
Speaker
So they go into the building and find all the dead bodies. Well, yeah, they go in there and then Cynthia and Tarek follow him to the marina. Follow Chong to the marina. Yeah. And the douchebag cops follow them to the marina.
01:22:36
Speaker
They arrest Tarek, which is very important because now he's handcuffed. Yep. They're like, we
Warehouse Fight and Bolo's Defeat
01:22:41
Speaker
know who the killer is. So do we. ah um And then Chong hair comes out of nowhere and fucking high kicks this white cop right into the fucking ocean. Yep.
01:22:55
Speaker
He can't swim. It sounds like and because he will not shut the fuck up about it. He's like, hell, please. Somebody taught to do something. And um i might have said this before on the podcast. I know Whitney and I've had this conversation.
01:23:09
Speaker
What do you mean you can't swim? You don't have to like. know how to do the breaststroke and all that stuff, just kick your legs and you stay at the top. I don't know. Maybe it's really, really hard. I i have no recollection of learning to swim. It's an ability I was born with.
01:23:25
Speaker
Same. yeah I mean, I understand a kid, you know, you throw a kid in the water and they're just like, oh, no, and they just panic. But as an adult, you're like, this is water. I'm fine. If I kick my legs, I can stay afloat. Yeah, panic's a panic the son of a bitch.
01:23:38
Speaker
Especially if it's your first time in water. We'll say first time in water. It's your first time trying to swim. I guess he's also wearing loafers. Maybe that makes it harder to stay afloat. Yeah, you think? Why do you think Michael Phelps never wore them?
01:23:53
Speaker
I'm sure he wore loafers all the time, just not wanting to swim. We're going to have a swim meet. Shirts versus shoes.
01:24:00
Speaker
I'd watch that. Yeah, I would too. I would too. I feel like they're both at equal disadvantage. We are in here. All right. So now Cynthia and Chong have like the real fight.
01:24:13
Speaker
ah guess This one goes a bit longer. There's there's stuff like he she grabs an or trying to fight him off. She makes him bleed. And it's like it's like 300 when he like realizes that he's not a god. no oh, oh, no. Well, the altar is broken now.
01:24:27
Speaker
Yeah. He lost his superpowers. Alleged the douchebag the other douchebag cop the black one is trying to uncuff Tarek But he's just in such a panic he can't and so Tarek just does the thing where he like you know put the cuffs under your feet and get your hands in front of you Uh-huh the inmate jump rope Yeah, you know the thing that all of us could easily do I could have done it when was younger might still be able to I'm too fat now I could probably swing and but I would end up getting a cramp.
01:24:57
Speaker
It'd one of those things where I'd do it then I'm like, oh, ah, you know where your organs feel like they moved to the wrong spot? Yeah. know
01:25:06
Speaker
So I'm useless in this fight, guys. Sorry. Yeah, Tark and Bolo, go go at it. Well, Bolo takes off first and goes into the he does run away, doesn't he he? He runs into the says Marina storage.
01:25:20
Speaker
But I also wrote a.k.a. cardboard box factory yeah because it's just cardboard box storage. They're not making them. there They're just keeping them because it's it's all these boxes of stuff that is like made. It's supposed to look like it's heavy because it's like boxes that say tied on the side and stuff. So it's like, oh, it's big things of detergent.
01:25:36
Speaker
But you can clearly see right through them. It happens in a lot of her movies, a lot of these types of movies where it's like, let's get a room and fill it with boxes. Some people get thrown through shit. Yeah, we can add a heavy sound and it sounds heavy, but it's just an empty box.
01:25:50
Speaker
Yeah, that's fine. um When Bolo's sneaking in, though, there's that fucking this nerdy ass cop that catches him or security guard. no You got promotion back here.
01:26:02
Speaker
You're going to have to get out of here, man. I don't know what you're doing back here. Can you just out of my face? As soon as I touched him, he should be like, oh, nope, never mind you. Oh, boy, that's a big, big arm. You you go. I'm going to throw myself out the window. I'll save you the trouble.
01:26:16
Speaker
I'm offended for you. um So, yeah, he kills that guy. Taric hunts him down. Cynthia is knocked out on the marina. gets up again.
01:26:28
Speaker
She does get knocked down and get up again. Never going to keep her down. No bolo is going to keep her down. She throws a karate punch. She throws a kung fu kick.
01:26:38
Speaker
She throws a ha-ya. Can you throw a ha-ya? Ha-ya! Throw ha-ya. wish I was a ventriloquist. Ha-ya! You can't hawk without moving your lips.
01:26:52
Speaker
I can't throw my voice. I'll just change the audio so you only come out of one side there. Now I really want to watch One of Stranger Calls, guys. But, like, they face off. Bolo's like, okay, time for the real fight. So he takes off his shirt, revealing the full Bolo.
01:27:06
Speaker
My God. You never go full Bolo, man. Yeah, you do. But he then binds his hands and he says, we are same. Oh, yeah. yeah yeah Yeah, but he realizes they're not because Tarek is so much tougher than Bolo Young. And then he he's like, you know what? Fuck playing fair. I don't want this hand thing anymore.
01:27:25
Speaker
Yeah. and ah like it's just that people get It's mostly Tarek getting thrown around, shit getting smashed. ah But at some point, Tarek puts his cuffs around Bolo's neck.
01:27:39
Speaker
It's a dangerous place to be right out there in the beak of a wild animal. He could bit his fingers off. Well, he's got, I think he's thinking there's two things will happen here. One of two. Yeah. One, I choke out below young. Yeah.
01:27:50
Speaker
Two, he uses his super strength to rip my cuffs apart because we didn't mention how he got into this Marina storage unit was that he goes up and the door is locked. He yanks on it a couple of times, looks at it and then just goes, bam, and just pulls this door almost off. It's in your locks. Yeah. dude And it's not just the lock. He pulls it and like, so like the lock broke, but the little thing at the top, because it's one of those metal swinging doors that has yeah the hydraulic cat pneumatic thing. Yeah.
01:28:17
Speaker
That thing is just ripped clean of that door. It's just dangling. yeah i believed it. I believe that they left it locked on accident and he just did that. and He's like, hey, said over the cheer i will be I'm not getting paid enough to work another day. I'm opening this door. Yeah, I got to get home.
01:28:35
Speaker
But yeah, Bolo does break through the cuffs. The Mega Man music starts. And Tarek gets the upper hand, beats the shit out of him, tiger style. Kicks him through a bunch of empty boxes.
01:28:47
Speaker
ah that must have really hurt. And he's got himself right above him with the claw out. It's the claw. You're afraid of the claw. It's going to get you. I'm going to get you.
01:28:59
Speaker
I'm better than
Reflection on Events and Action Tropes
01:29:00
Speaker
this, he says to himself in his head and doesn't kill the guy. So Bolo's beaten. The uniform officers cuff him and put him in the back of the car. Sure. gonna yeah He's gonna.
01:29:11
Speaker
You can't lock him out of a warehouse. What do you think about handcuffs? He's defeated now. think I think Whitney said that last night, and I think that's what it is because I'm like, none of this stuff is holding Bolo.
01:29:22
Speaker
But when they show him, he looks at Tarek, and then he just looks down like, fuck, man. the point? Like, I have been defeated. what's the point? If that scrawny guy could beat me. Now going run a prison. going to go kill myself.
01:29:34
Speaker
And then we have the wrap up, which is Cynthia Rothrock in one of the sexiest outfits I've ever seen her wear. I think it's a bathing suit dress. Maybe. I don't know. But it's like a you get some beautiful side boob. It's like totally backless other than like one thing that goes down the middle.
01:29:51
Speaker
Yeah. Tons of side boob. Looking great. They have a little celebration. the most skin I've seen her show. They're taking a two-week vacation. I have another movie with her called Sworn to Justice where she has like a whole fight scene in like a negligee, but it's still not skin. you know It's right yeah covered.
01:30:10
Speaker
But she's looking great. they're They're going off on their boat. and she says, get over here, tiger. yeah ah Get over here. And then ah kiss. You're my favorite dog. You're my favorite customer. Goodbye.
01:30:26
Speaker
So around the horn, I'm going to have Jacko first because this was his first time saying it. Yeah, um it's it's again, it's I think it's just like the last one I did. I can only recommend this to people that like one of two things, martial art movies, and know what you're getting in for, or less than stellar acting.
01:30:44
Speaker
And in those sense, it hits perfect. I see why Derek likes it. i probably won't go out of my way to watch any these without you guys, but anytime it's suggested, I will be in. So that's like a half recommend.
01:30:56
Speaker
As I watched it sober with husband two days ago and then high as fuck last night, much better high. Not my fault.
01:31:08
Speaker
I mean, it is definitely one that you have to, the again, with what Jack said, I always piggyback him. Yeah. You need to be with that like-minded group people. Just like Tarek on Bolo Young. Yeah. I can't break them chains. You need to be into something like that in order to watch it.
01:31:24
Speaker
And if you're just feeling stupid, get your friends together. Have some ah some party favors. Have some libations. labations Some fermented bananas.
01:31:34
Speaker
A couple bananas will do this movie real good. Ooh, they got a style after me. It's called Fermented Banana Style Master. Wait, is that is that banana? is that Sorry, is that apple rotting?
01:31:47
Speaker
It's almost fermenting. What are you doing with all that chunks of apple on the ground? Squishing them down. like a taste but I had a lot more fun last night than thanks out the other day.
01:31:58
Speaker
Good. Well, I don't need to bother for this whole month. Yeah, I recommend it. This is the kind
Film Recommendation and Closing Notes
01:32:03
Speaker
of stuff I like, though. I like this late 80s, early 90s action shit. I mean, I talked about it while we were watching last night when people like say they don't like this kind of thing.
01:32:13
Speaker
But then they also watch like Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. He is not a good actor. The stories don't make any sense. This is literally a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie just with people you've never heard of. You can't poke one hole in Time Cop.
01:32:26
Speaker
ah We'll get there. i'm pretty sure we can holes. I can poke myself in Time Cop and then turn into a blob.
01:32:37
Speaker
I'll go back in time and make a time cut. time Time cut. But yeah, so obviously I recommend it. I love these movies. Cynthia Rosberg makes some awesome action movies. i'm I'm the guy who sits here watching fucking Hong Kong shit that makes zero. They didn't even have scripts for. Well, happy birthday, babe.
01:32:54
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah, happy happy birthday to me. Squat.
01:32:58
Speaker
Tomorrow, our Patreon and mental health episode is coming out because tomorrow's my actual birthday. So I'm planning it out this way. And that's what our mental health movie is going to come out. And that will be on 1987's The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
01:33:12
Speaker
What a poster. Yeah, right. I don't even know what's going on. There's a guy with a chainsaw on a motorcycle. I don't think we get a guy with a chainsaw on a motorcycle. i was going to say the guys over there, give me back my action, do a thing where they look at the poster and then decide if it, if the movie mag expectations were met from the poster. It's a really cool way to do it. Cause like looking at that, I'm like, yeah, like we don't get that, but yeah.
01:33:40
Speaker
Well, how about this one? I don't have a picture of it, but how about this poster? Does this movie meet your expectations? ah Above and beyond.
01:33:50
Speaker
I was like, it's Bolo Young, Cynthia Rothrock, and Tarek. Let me see it. I have a white light, so maybe people can see it better. White light. Do the other side. Because that one's the Vinegar Syndrome art. That's the actual original.
01:34:04
Speaker
Yeah, come on. What'd you say? looks like that. What you say? But yes, that will be our mental health episode on Patreon over at patreon.com slash worst people. You get the mental health episodes when you pledge a mere three dollars a month.
01:34:16
Speaker
And then next week will be the final week of my birthday month. And um Whitney might know what we're doing because I had a short discussion with her because I thought about changing it.
01:34:28
Speaker
But Jack doesn't. And we're going to leave it that way. We're not. Damn it. Next week, we are talking about Stalked by My Doctor, Patients' Revenge, with Eric Roberts from the Lifetime channel.
01:34:41
Speaker
i I've seen we're gonna need a bigger bottle of gin
01:34:46
Speaker
this is the third or fourth one in a series of five I think it's the third one I'm gonna be so definitely it's definitely no he'll be it's definitely one I picked it because it's the one where Eric Roberts gets a little crazier and starts talking to like a laid-back island party version of himself So he has extended conversations where he's like buttoned up Dr. Beck.
01:35:10
Speaker
And then you have like laid back Hawaiian shirt. Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. Matthew McConaughey. Got to kill that lady. Just got to do it. All right. All right. All right.
01:35:21
Speaker
And ah for people who are like, great, they're doing some weird Lifetime movie. I'm not going able to find this anywhere. You're wrong. It's on Prime. You can watch it on Amazon Prime. You can watch it on Tubi. ah You can rent it or buy it from Amazon or Apple for $4 or $15.
01:35:35
Speaker
I love this. They actually pay you to watch it. It's also on YouTube. So if you don't have Prime and you don't want to do Tubi, it's on YouTube.
01:35:46
Speaker
but Easy peasy. And then we have... Also on Patreon, our Latchkey Vids episode coming out this month. Our final episode one of Cop Rock.
01:35:57
Speaker
And we'll be talking about Cop Rock episode 11, Bang the Pots Slowly. You guys want to guess? All all the all patrons want to guess if I cried or not? ah follows leave a comment Leave a comment below if you think Whitney cried during the final episode of Cop Rock.
01:36:17
Speaker
um Oh, and also ah running men's available Running Man's available on Netflix and Paramount and Amazon and Apple. And it's like $5 to buy. So don't you do that.
01:36:28
Speaker
yeah But that's been it for this week, guys. Thank you for tuning in for my birthday. I've been Derek. Oh.
Episode Closure and Thanks
01:36:36
Speaker
Let me thank Evasion. Oh, yeah. Yes, I have to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music and for being the kick-ass dudes that they are.
01:36:44
Speaker
So thank you, guys. I've been Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. What you say? i know that's how I started it, but I'm ending it, too. What you say? your birthday.
01:37:25
Speaker
Let's talk about a movie that I barely remember. Not because I was drunk, but I was. But also because that movie didn't have much going on except for bad haircuts.