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Ep 174: Jaws 3 - Hallo3n Horrorfest
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Jaws 3-D trades Amity Island for the flashy new SeaWorld park in Florida, where the Brody brothers now work and—surprise!—a massive great white shark crashes the grand opening. The park’s high-tech attractions quickly turn into death traps as the shark chomps through tourists, dolphins, and glass tunnels. To make matters worse, it turns out Mama Shark is lurking too, making it a double dose of aquatic terror. With cheesy 3-D effects and campy spectacle, it’s less a terrifying thriller and more a theme-park monster ride gone hilariously off the rails.
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Transcript
Introduction and Halloween Horror Fest Continuation
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back. Hello three in horror fest continues this week. You're talking about that damn shark's mother. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. This bad movies. Where's people?
00:00:51
Speaker
Ending on that Larry Fish, man.
00:00:55
Speaker
Makes a girl happy. People are going to be confused when they watch these episodes. like, why are they acting like it's the first time they've seen it? It's the third episode of month. It's because it is the first time they've seen it. I watched the intro today on Howling.
00:01:10
Speaker
Oh, okay. i I changed it a little bit. That's all I watched. It was good. i changed it a little bit. I added the Jaws explosion. You can show me, it Michael Gross, shooting that fucking anti-aircraft machine gun all day.
00:01:25
Speaker
All day.
Jaws 3D and Its Availability
00:01:28
Speaker
Yes, we are here to continue Halo 3 in Horror Fest and discuss Jaws 3D. Or Jaws 3. Or Jaws 3. D. Did you see? Whenever I looked this up on, i think it was I think I initially looked it up on Amazon because I know I've watched it with the bleeps, so I thought maybe I bought it for $4.99.
00:01:51
Speaker
Did not. ah Bummer. Bummer. And it was like, it said coming soon, Jaws 3D. So they're doing some fucking Amazon thing. i don't know. That you know. Okay. I'll i'll look into it a little bit more. but it was like, that's kind of a cool thing.
00:02:06
Speaker
I looked at the special features on the Blu-ray that I have. I did not pay for it. That we got from ah your Christmas party. Oh, nice. Came from your your ah holiday party there. And ah the only special feature was Jaws 3D. I clicked it and it was like, you don't have a 3D TV. And I was like, oh, interesting.
00:02:24
Speaker
So it has Jaws 3, but it also has the Jaws 3D that you could use on your 3D TV. wish
Director and Production Design
00:02:30
Speaker
Wish we could have watched that. ah You can see in this movie up and down, top to bottom, where they want you to have your glasses on. Well, and there's a lot if you if you're watching, i was noticing it the whole movie because the edges of the screen are fuzzy all the time. Some lines have like weird things on them, like especially if there's like a white like a yellow, a railing on a pole and stuff like that. Just little things, not even like this. Facts, I mean.
00:02:54
Speaker
Because originally they used they used most of the 3D to just make depth, you know, like you should use 3D. And then the studio was like, nah, you got to add more shit that goes blah in their face.
00:03:06
Speaker
So and you can see it a lot. I don't know what you're talking about. Because when you watch it in 2D, you're like, why would they go for that maneuver? That's not scary. It might have been in 3D. 3D. Not even that. Dude, this shark is my favorite. At one can many eyes does that shark have again?
00:03:28
Speaker
It's only it's almost an aus in two nostrils and then a hole in its nose where it got stabo'd. And then a mouth. At one point you can see just somebody off frame holding a wooden shark that does not move at all.
00:03:41
Speaker
It's just all, ah, ah, ah, ah. Didn't we learn that only makos swim backwards? Yes, I Googled it while we were watching. I was like, can sharks swim backwards? And the internet was like, fuck no.
00:03:55
Speaker
Not even Makos or only Makos? Well, it I didn't really read that too deep into it. It was just like, nah, because they're too stiff in their fin structure and something, something. There is another shark that can go backward, but it's, i can't remember the name of it, but it pushes itself on, like on the bottom of the seabed.
00:04:11
Speaker
So it paws like little hands. Or his paws. Yeah. Well, I don't know if Derek was looking up shark facts. Yeah. So who is it? Cindy and Sandy.
00:04:22
Speaker
Cindy and Sandy. andy have a fun fact about Cindy or Sandy. I think it's Cindy, but we'll get there. I want to start off by saying really quick before we get any further. Fuck SeaWorld. I do not condone any of their shenanigans. This was that that part is rough to watch. Other than that, go on.
00:04:40
Speaker
ah This should have put SeaWorld out of business. Right. So this movie directed by Joseph Alves or Alves. I don't know ah because this is the only movie he ever directed. It's actually a
Music and Commercial Success
00:04:52
Speaker
lives.
00:04:53
Speaker
He lives. He likes all this. This is the only movie he ever directed. He was mostly a production designer and art director and he did do art direction or one of them on Jaws one and two.
00:05:06
Speaker
And he was apparently instrumental in getting the shark working in the original and stuff and a lot of the looks of the shark. Oh, i was like, good, because it didn't work in this one. It's a fucking paper cutout. and he also did I have a baby Billy just as terrifying.
00:05:21
Speaker
He also did production design and art direction on some cool stuff like Escape from New York, ah Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and welcome back to the show, Drop Zone.
00:05:31
Speaker
o Fuck yeah. He's royalty now. um I like in the in the intro, which the credits are really cool. ah know we're jumping the shark a bit here. But I like how it's like theme song by John Williams.
00:05:45
Speaker
That's it. He didn't do anything else for this. You need to know that now. Yeah, this other guy. They just borrowed it from the first movie, right? Well, they they own it. Universal owns it. I meant like.
00:05:56
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, it's because it's John Williams' Jaws theme from Jaws 1. Okay. And that's why it's the only good piece of music in the movie. Exactly. like Remember when we had John Williams doing music?
00:06:07
Speaker
He's kind of here. Don't go. other guy, Alan Turner or whatever, who I couldn't possibly care. I went through his credits and i was like, don't know any of this. So, fuck that guy. Fuck him. We don't know you. Fuck This was written by a few people, but the two main people, Richard Matheson and Carl Gottlieb.
00:06:27
Speaker
i don't have Lieb. You got Lieb? Gottlieb. that's what that's Is that like ah German? Is Lieb milk in German? It might be. Gottlieb. ah know it's not. He wrote Jaws 1 2. He wrote The Jerk.
00:06:41
Speaker
ah He wrote future episode Dr. Detroit. So he's got some good stuff. That sounds like an episode. I know nothing of that movie, but it's called Dr. Detroit.
00:06:52
Speaker
Okay. Do you own it? Hold on. Do you own it? No. God, no He's got standards. Standards. There is different levels of bad movies
Actor Highlights and Film Reception
00:07:02
Speaker
in this world.
00:07:03
Speaker
Is this like Howling 3 bad? i don't. It's been so long since I saw it probably on Comedy Central when I was a young'un. It's the Dan Aykroyd vehicle that's not Ghostbusters, so it's probably not good.
00:07:15
Speaker
ah This other writer, Richard Matheson, he wrote books mostly, but he wrote a lot of scripts. I feel... So he wrote ah some of the books he wrote were like The Incredible Shrinking Man, What Dreams May Come, ah Button Button, which was eventually turned into The Box, and I Am Legend. So he wrote all that stuff as as novels that were all adapted.
00:07:36
Speaker
And then for movies, he wrote a bunch of Vincent Price stuff. So there's some good stuff there. Ooh, go on. a House of Usher, The Pit and the Pendulum, Last Man on Earth. House of Usher, I think I've read. watched that, didn't No, you watched the Netflix TV show. The series, okay.
00:07:51
Speaker
um But he also wrote Steven Spielberg's first movie, Duel. OK, you own that one.
Brody Family Continuity and Trivia
00:07:58
Speaker
Yes, I do. on I thought so. That movie fucking rules. It was a CBS TV movie, and it's basically just this guy getting harassed by a dude who drives a semi.
00:08:07
Speaker
And it's just like a 90 minute long chase scene. OK, if I can rules. The rules, man, rules. So I do have a lot of rules. Box office office numbers. Oh, need the box office.
00:08:19
Speaker
Let's go here. All right. So budget is 20.5 million dollars. Where? I'm going to say. It's mostly in Dennis Quaid's cocaine budget.
00:08:32
Speaker
Dennis Quaid's nose. You know, it's funny. Look at that Coke face. When the bleeps and I watched this, I didn't catch it right away. Senior bleep was just like, dude, look at the fucking Coke face. I was like, on who? He's like, well, just about everybody. But look at Dennis Quaid.
00:08:47
Speaker
And you see it there. Dad, that looks so much like my dad on Coke. Dude, those are pinpoints. Yeah. And you see it when he's on the jet ski because he comes in hot. He almost stalls that thing out. yeah like He is just he is zip zap and be bopping all over this movie. He looks so uncomfortable on that jet ski. by the way It's hard to do, by the way, look uncomfortable. in a Jet ski is supposed to look happy.
00:09:10
Speaker
It's back when you had to stand though. So it's like the first jet ski. Yeah, it's like Sea-Doo. He admits to it. It's not a secret because in an interview, someone asked him about this movie. He said, I was in Jaws. What?
00:09:23
Speaker
And then he he went on to elaborate that he hated making it. And he was 3D. Of course, it's 3D. This world's 3D. I'm three d What do you mean? That's stupid. Don't talk to me anymore.
00:09:35
Speaker
He admitted to being high on drugs throughout shooting. The quote is, there's not one frame of Jaws 3 you see me in that I wasn't coked out of my mind. Yep. There's actually no scenes that you don't see him in that he wasn't coked out of his mind. Because if he wasn't shooting, he was sniffing.
Humorous Anecdotes and Hypotheticals
00:09:54
Speaker
um Okay, so $20.5 million dollars was the budget. um And I have both numbers if you want both. 1983. I thought that she was doing a budget right now.
00:10:06
Speaker
I'm going to say 11 eleven u s
00:10:14
Speaker
18 worlds. They fucking wish. We are going 3 million and 7 million. 45.5 million domestic. damn You know what, Whitney? They don't wish. They did. Holy shit.
00:10:29
Speaker
Holy fuck. Well, okay. It was like one of the first 3D movies, right? Oh, there was a bunch at this time. it was a great thing. God damn. One of the websites... Remind me, is Jaws too any good?
00:10:42
Speaker
i don't know. Not really. Is that the one with the banana boat? I just remember a banana boat and a Jaws. That might be two. And the kid flying off the back. Was Michael Caine it? Michael Caine. Because that's what Jaws 4. Oh, that could be four.
00:10:55
Speaker
I don't remember. We'll get I've seen all four of them, and I don't remember anything about any of them except for Jaws 1 rules, so I remember all that. Jaws 2, I remember nothing.
00:11:05
Speaker
Jaws 3, I remember Lou Gossett Jr. And Jaws 4, I remember Michael Caine. My cocaine. Well, you remember cocaine in this one. It's just not yours. It's all gone. There's no my cocaine. My cocaine is missing.
00:11:18
Speaker
My cocaine is missing from this movie set. Where has my cocaine gone? i don't know, man. I don't fucking know. ah This was the highest grossing 3D movie like opening weekend 13.4 million until Spy Kids 3D came out in 2003. Good God.
00:11:38
Speaker
So this was the the highest grossing 3D opening weekend for 20 years. Damn. A lot of people left sad that weekend. Spy kids, huh?
00:11:48
Speaker
Oh, and I had one more writing credit I wanted to mention that came up on the screen. This was suggested by the novel Jaws by Peter Benchley. How do you suggest? how do you How do you suggest a screenplay? You know what I think?
00:12:05
Speaker
He should go left when he gets up the stairs, not to the right. I want to see the original movie that was pitched. So two of the producers on the first two films, David Brown and Richard Zanuck, pitched this movie as a spoof, basically.
00:12:19
Speaker
um based on a title suggestion from some guys named Matty Simmons and John Hughes. It would have been titled some guy named John Hughes. There's some fucking guy named Hughes. I don't think it's that John Hughes. Matty Simmons doesn't sound familiar. I don't know. Either way, titled Matty Simmons sounds familiar. It's just not real. It sounds like he's going to sell you a workout tape.
00:12:39
Speaker
National Lampoon's Jaws 3, People 0. Oh, okay. Starting off good. It was, it would have been about the movie studio trying to make a second second sequel to Jaws.
00:12:53
Speaker
um It would open with the author, Peter Benchley, being
Character Interactions and Special Effects
00:12:56
Speaker
eaten in his pool by a shark. It included a naked bow, Derek and shark costumed aliens. And Joe Dante was attached as director, but Steven Spielberg rejected the idea and threatened to walk from his deal with universal.
00:13:09
Speaker
So when Zanuck and Brown found out about that, they quit universal. Yeah. Oh, good for them. Integrity. All you do is, you know, if you want to write that movie, you just write what was actually happening on the set of Deep Blue, where they were almost killing actors with mechanical sharks trying to make a shark movie. There's your spoof, dude.
00:13:28
Speaker
And I have one alternate actor, someone who auditioned for Kellyanne Bukowski, who ended up being playing by played by Leah Thompson. Let's get out the way now. Feature film debut. Danny DeVito in a bikini. Yes.
00:13:41
Speaker
All right. Good. Got thoughts. No, instead of her. Yes. ah And she she did. Kathleen Turner. No. You know, it's funny. I didn't like in my brain that name came up, but that would be.
00:13:55
Speaker
Brooke Shields. No, we did we just watched her in a movie the the other night with Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, I get no respect. Who played his daughter? watch We watched Easy Money.
00:14:07
Speaker
Jennifer Jason Leigh. Oh, that's right. Oh, she would have shown her nerfs. I'm a Phoebe. ah Also, I just learned nodro this has nothing to do with this. Phoebe Cates.
00:14:19
Speaker
This has nothing to do with this movie because Jennifer Jason Leigh wasn't in it. But I just learned that Jennifer Jason Leigh is the daughter of Vic Morrow, the guy who was helicoptered by John Landis in Twilight Zone.
00:14:31
Speaker
Oh, shit. And that's who you were talking. we we We blanked on that name a couple episodes ago. Yeah. So it's good to know that just it does live in your brain, just not after four or five barrels drank whiskeys.
00:14:46
Speaker
So this movie sharts. Sharts? Yes. Nope, said it. He said it. It is on record, everybody. This movie sharts. Do you know why this movie sharts and why it shreks?
00:14:57
Speaker
This movie shreks so hard because... It's not rated R. It's not. It's rated PG. Well, PG-13 didn't exist. Well, but okay, it's not rated R. I'm not a fucking, well, I am a pervert. I'm not, don't how to defend myself now. There's zero boobs. I don't need boobs in every movie that I watch, but I think especially in this era and this genre of movie, we come to expect a bit of nerfs.
00:15:25
Speaker
We definitely come to expect a lot of blood. We do get Kay's nipples, but she's wearing a sweater. We get accidental nips. we don't we don't get yeah We don't get John HBO level of nips. No. no And I said, so i know so we're watching, right?
00:15:43
Speaker
And then you got Mike and Kay, and my parents were Mike and Kay. And the next movie movie has Mike O'Kane. So i was like, this is just my parents' love story.
00:15:57
Speaker
Aww. They got divorced right after this movie came It makes sense that you were conceived during a shark attack. Oh, I was definitely born before this movie came out.
00:16:08
Speaker
but Not in my story. ah Yeah, this movie starts with some fish getting killed by a shark. I'm only mentioning it because it's the first 3D effect where you're just like, whoa, this is what we're in for because this fish gets eaten up.
00:16:22
Speaker
And then you've got like the severed fish head floating through the water and it's still moving its mouth. And it's dumb. I wish I would have watched with you guys. Like, I know we couldn't just because of work schedules. But like I i had genuine out loud laughs.
00:16:35
Speaker
There would have been more with people. Yes. Because this is this is truly a bad movie. And anybody out there that's about to just get mad that we're saying that, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, people.
00:16:47
Speaker
Oh, I need to text Zip and ask him what he feels about this movie. He's going to say, God, it's terrible. I love it.
Social Interactions and Relationships
00:16:53
Speaker
We're doing Jaws 3 because it's Halo 3 and Horror Fest, of course. But also, this is the 50th anniversary of Jaws.
00:17:00
Speaker
And everybody else was talking about Jaws this summer, so we didn't. So this is my way of giving a tribute to the 50th anniversary of Jaws. There you go, Wes. Golf clap for Derek. Yay, me.
00:17:12
Speaker
Can I golf clap myself? Yes. It's weird. Don't worry. I'll insert a video of Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez golf clapping. It's a good thing because somebody in this movie was in that movie. Isn't Dennis Quaid's brother the fucking bicycle cop?
00:17:30
Speaker
Is he Oh, I don't remember. That's also in Cop Rock? I kept thinking that he... I didn't look it up because I was like, Derek's the guy on notes. He was like a punk man's Emilio. Is Dennis Quaid's brother in this movie? No. Not his real brother. Dennis Quaid.
00:17:43
Speaker
Oh. Mike's brother. You know. the I didn't see anything in that guy's credits. What's his name? Sean Brody? Oh, or john maybe it's not. Now that I'm looking at It looked like him in the movie, but now that I'm looking at a picture of him, I don't think it's him.
00:17:59
Speaker
Damn. I went the whole movie thinking that was him. Wait, what's the movie called? Trash People? Men at work Trash people this mother he He is in men at work as Mike Okay so you're So it's him So he's a welcome back because he's been on that And he was on an episode of Cop Rock He's the one that fucking ah homegirl shoots I think I just gave up on scrolling through his stuff very quickly Not Femke Jensen Who's the other sexy chick Oh, Gina. Gina Gershon.
00:18:32
Speaker
I pulled him up on IMDb and I quit looking because his top things are directorial. And one of them is an American Pie Presents movie. So I stopped looking. And another one is a football movie called Holiday Touchdown. That's also a Hallmark movie. Shut up.
00:18:50
Speaker
Shut the fuck up. An NSYNC. You have not. Which NSYNC? Oh, no, he's not an NSYNC. He just looks like an NSYNC. I don't know who I'm more mad at right now. Whitney for saying she's watched it and Derek for saying it stars an NSYNC. This is... Look, tell me that doesn't look like an NSYNC. Oh, it does look like NSYNC. Oh, it does. It looks like Joey Fatone mixed with Lance's ass.
00:19:10
Speaker
Is he the... From Letterkenny? Derek, you weren't looking to the screen. you You need your wife to do the impersonation again. it makes for terrible... It's like, was he the...
00:19:23
Speaker
you knew He squishes the eyes. You know, the ah Bonnie McMurray. French Stewart. McMurray is talking about new boyfriend. I'm not going to pull any of those names.
00:19:37
Speaker
um Probably not, because I don't know. Maybe Dierks. Yeah. He was in eight episodes of Letterkenny. Good for you. but I'm glad you know stupid things more than me.
00:19:48
Speaker
I just I'm so happy that it's the guy I thought it was because I was watching. i was like, all right, well, least it's got the guy from Men at Work. I didn't catch that at all. I think I'm the one that caught it for Cop ah for cop Rock as well.
00:19:59
Speaker
You are. You're definitely one that I think you like him, too. I
Plot Elements and SeaWorld Setting
00:20:02
Speaker
think he I love that movie. He's wearing fucking shades and a hat in that whole fucking movie. Yeah, I don't play a really awesome game called standoff.
00:20:10
Speaker
Oh, i was talking about it I was talking about Men at Work, but yes, he's in this he's playing standoff with Leah Thompson, who we meet right now at the beginning of the movie. Segway master. Leah Thompson playing Kellyanne Bukowski.
00:20:22
Speaker
She's a water skier for SeaWorld. Leah Thompson we talked about recently on Howard the Duck. Of course, Back to the Future. And of course, Nicolas Cage is left behind. So this is her feature film debut, and apparently she lied in her resume slash interview. Since she was 18? No, she lied and said that she had been in other movies and apparently the producers were just like, sounds good.
00:20:45
Speaker
She was 18 though. Maybe. now We don't see anything. I'm wondering if that's why. I'm wondering if they were like, all right, we'll get this cute young girl in here. We'll have her take her top off. And then she lied about it and she's like, I'm actually 17. Like, okay, rewrite. It's a PG movie now.
00:21:01
Speaker
But she was in a bar drinking. That's just fucking New England. That's just Connecticut. Okay. She was 22? Yes. But they're in Florida, right?
00:21:14
Speaker
I don't know. They're not in Amity. That's all I know. I don't didn't really catch. They're somewhere where a sea world is, and it looks humid. So I'm going to say Florida. Florida sounds correct. That's why Dennis was all sweaty. He was so fucking cold.
00:21:29
Speaker
No, yeah, his coke dealer, hey dude, his fucking coke dealer also has a fucking spray bottle. it's its sort of
00:21:38
Speaker
sort He fills it with cocaine. Got um You need someone there at the water park to get you a little misty? No, there's water everywhere. Come on, hire Got good joke. Look at my resume. I all did the hail in three.
00:21:52
Speaker
keep I keep ice in my spray bottle. I'll keep it nice and cool. I'll call the ice ice maybe. Cool them. Cool them. Cool them. So, yeah. It's only one word.
00:22:06
Speaker
They're opening this new sea world that has the Undersea Kingdom, which is a big series of tunnels that's in an actual ocean thing. I've been at aquariums that have underwater. I love the idea that. Well, there was an aquarium in Phoenix. I i don't know if it's still there or not Great place to have an aquarium that had like one of these tunnels you walk through, but you're in an aquarium.
00:22:25
Speaker
It's a controlled environment. You're not in the actual ocean, which seems like a bad idea. Look, I've seen it seems like a good idea. was C-Lab is not how you or what's the one that C-Lab 2021? No, nos ah Royce Quest.
00:22:40
Speaker
Sequest. Let's connect it back to Jaws. Boom. But they aren't in a sea lab. They're in a giant underwater spaceship. Some people would call it a boat. Are they in a space boat ship? Yeah, it's a space boat ship for sure.
00:22:54
Speaker
right. Then I am thinking of sea lab. The cartoon. Yes. Yes. I mean, not to say they don't go to a lab under the sea, but that whole thing is we'll we'll get there for latchkey vids. I promise you. I guess you can't quest if you're in a lab. You have to be in something mobile. Exactly.
Production Choices and Actor Analysis
00:23:11
Speaker
Otherwise, you're an NPC. It was the mobile sea lab.
00:23:14
Speaker
if That's a ship. So we meet our other lead characters here. We have Calvin Bouchard played by Lou Gossett Jr. and like Mike Brody played by Dennis Quaid.
00:23:26
Speaker
Not a welcome back. No, surprisingly. Yeah. Yes. Lou Gossett. Welcome back from a Punisher. And we'll see you again for Enemy Mine, Iron Eagle, Firewalker, other things, Firewalker. Oh, yeah.
00:23:40
Speaker
Oh, no, somebody else. Never mind. And Dennis Quaid, these guys will have said 312 times in our 174 episodes, Innerspace. We are going to do Innerspace. That's a Patreon.
00:23:51
Speaker
Yes. But he's also in some really terrible shit like Day After Tomorrow and Frequency with Jesus. Oh, Jim Caviezes. Yes. Jim Cajesus. Most recently, or not most recently, most recently he was in that Reagan movie that you'll never find me watching. Oh, I'll do commentary on it.
00:24:09
Speaker
Although I did hear that when they do young Reagan, it's just Dennis Quaid and they don't even do like Irishman de-aging. Does he have a mustache or a backwards hat? i I don't know. He must be walking around a backwards hat.
00:24:21
Speaker
He's just carrying a skateboard. Well, mommy, I'm off to high school. It's time to learn about e equals MC. c o I forgot. Back to school. Did you say E equals MCU?
00:24:34
Speaker
E equals MCU. E is for entertainment. Something I know all about. but yes, he was also before that, most recently in The Substance, where he was great. Yeah. He's the super scuzzy TV exec, and he's disgusting.
00:24:49
Speaker
He looks also like he's coked out in that as well. Well, that's because now he has practice. That's just his coke face. He's like, oh, I don't have to hide it. i can just do it. Do you have any experience doing coke? I can probably figure out what to look like when I'm coked out.
Narrative Progression
00:25:05
Speaker
So he's like the maintenance guy, I guess. I mean, like not just like I clean the bathrooms, but he does the maintenance on the important shit at the can he's a place. He's a top-notch engineer. Built the whole thing. There you go. Fabricator as well, though.
00:25:18
Speaker
Lugaset's the money man. yeah He's in charge. Even though he's got a doctor in front of his name, he doesn't give a shit. Quaid's girlfriend, Catherine Morgan. Which I know from My So-Called Life.
00:25:30
Speaker
Yes, played by Bess Armstrong. ah She was also in a couple episodes of Frasier. She was in some Bosch and Grey's Anatomy. She's mostly done TV aside from this. I don't even recognize her from Frasier. That's strange.
00:25:42
Speaker
It was like two episodes and was something start with a K. I didn't write it down. Kathleen something. Kathleen Kennedy? No, it wasn't that. It's very familiar. It's it's it's right here.
00:25:52
Speaker
But... ah She's the head biologist slash whale trainer. I don't. she see She says she's a biologist, but she does an awful lot of training. So I don't know. Because she knows their biology.
00:26:04
Speaker
We meet Candy and Sandy or shit. Cindy and Sandy. Cindy and Sandy. Candy's my dog. We didn't meet her. There you go. ah They are dolphins. But I only mentioned it because Sandy is actually played by ah dolphin named Capricorn.
00:26:18
Speaker
who is a male dolphin, but he was born in 1972. And as of September 2025, you could still go to discoveries Discovery Cove in Orlando, Florida and swim with him.
00:26:28
Speaker
All right. was going to say who gives a shit when you started that whole thing. That's awesome. That is a 50 year old dolphin. That's fucking cool. He's a movie star. He is a movie star. want to go.
00:26:39
Speaker
Now I need to go back to Florida. Whitney, as always, wants to pet the dog. He's also candy. I want to swim with Cindy and Cindy and Sandy are the heroes of this movie. Yeah, for sure.
00:26:53
Speaker
Dennis Quaid. I mean, he pulls the pin on that grenade at the end. But the heroes are the dolphins and that douchey Englishman who got eaten. Not the one that beat someone to death with a dildo in another movie.
00:27:05
Speaker
No, we'll get to him. But this guy had the foresight to take a grenade with him, put it in his hand and hold it out while he's in the shark's throat. I think there was supposed to be a scene of him like trying to pull the pin, you know? Yeah.
00:27:18
Speaker
It might have happened in that scuffle from the interview of the shark, but there's so like muddy and everything is so grainy and shitty looking like. ah But that is Philip Fitzroyce with a capital R, as Lou Gossett Jr. says it, ah played by Simon McCorkendale.
00:27:37
Speaker
That's a fun name. Oh, McCorkendale whiskey. You're only going need one glass, but you'll take the whole fucking bottle because it's McCorkendale. Once you open it, it starts to go bad.
00:27:49
Speaker
I'm from Australia. LAUGHTER
00:27:54
Speaker
mccorkendale from down under by way of uh portugal oh maybe a fucking dingo ate you baby he's giving me shit about my gerard butler russell crowe thing butler is not an inherently scottish name god damn it i know yeah i'm giving you shit because i started to lose track at some point too because it's like oh it's it's with gerard butler i'm like fuck which one is that now ah I've passed it on which Which accent do I fucking do? A terrible Scottish or a terrible... My confusion for not great actors is contagious.
00:28:30
Speaker
I mean, cr-uh. Cr-uh sounds... Oh, I guess that is Australian. You're doing Scottish. see Exactly. that's that's Well, no, i was like... oh That's the crux of it all. That's the fucking crux of it, laddie. If you're having a problem, have some McCorkendales.
00:28:44
Speaker
It's not a problem. Also, come down to Chip and McCorkendales. We got a bunch of fat Scottish dudes dancing with their shirts off. They've got a bow tie and a bottle of whiskey. You can drink out of her butt. I want it. Okay. At the butt? McCorkendale's off I-10.
00:29:00
Speaker
McCork you. This guy, McCorkendale, he was in a movie I have that I like. I didn't recognize him from it. McCorkendale's. The Sword of the Sorcerer. And then he's also in Poltergeist The Legacy, which was the four-season-long Poltergeist television show that ran in the 90s.
00:29:17
Speaker
Four seasons? Another stay tuned for Latchkey Vibs. Yeah. because Four fucking seasons. Yeah. And I didn't know it existed. Over 100 episodes, if I'm not mistaken. i don't It's not surprising if it was in the early 90s. You weren't allowed to watch Poltergeist.
00:29:33
Speaker
Yeah, but I would at least know about it now. If it was a one season, i'd be like, okay, that makes sense why it just kind of came and went.
Comedic Elements and Reactions
00:29:40
Speaker
Four. Cop Rock got 11 episodes. Poltergeist, the legacy got four seasons.
00:29:46
Speaker
That's like these were garbage. That's like asking. ah That's like asking fucking Gary Busey in point break. How many sandwiches he wants twice to and then two more and then two more.
00:30:00
Speaker
But he's there to film opening day because he's a photographer slash videographer slash. He's an influencer. Big game. Yeah. Oh, if this movie was made in 2025, he's he's a fucking Instagram guy.
00:30:12
Speaker
Yeah. Can you just make sure when I kill the shark that you get a fucking good shot on my Uggs? They were given to me as an endorsement. But yeah, so they're they're doing stuff at the park. This gate is broken. Nobody knows why We do. We we do it's we know.
00:30:27
Speaker
But this guy goes down to fix the gate and he gets chomped up and he'd get another bad. It's like the exact same shot, but they took the bloody stump of the fish and just put an arm on it. Yeah. So now an arm is floating around with a bloody stump underwater. This is where your $20 million dollars budget came in.
00:30:43
Speaker
They have to drop his snorkel or his ah mask from up top. So it lands on the reef that took at least a day and a half. Dude, I read in the trivia someone was like, it's much like the shot from Lawrence of Arabia where his goggles like whatever. And I was just like, shut up. Shut up.
00:30:58
Speaker
This is Jaws 3D. This is not Lawrence of Arabia. Lawrence of Arabia out of your fucking mouth while you talk about Jaws 3. Shut up. Didn't we talk about Lawrence of Arabia on like two other episodes?
00:31:10
Speaker
Book of Boba Fett. Book of Boba Fett. Yeah. So we talked about it. We can talk about Lawrence of Arabia. You know why we can talk about I've got the if you want to watch it. Because the people listening aren't forced to be here.
00:31:22
Speaker
The people on IMDb are just trying to look up a simple fact. You know, like, did you know that it looks like Lawrence of Arabia in Jaws 3 because of all the cocaine Peter O'Toole used to do as well? Shut up. If Philip Fitzroyce was played by Peter O'Toole, then I would accept you bringing up Lawrence of Arabia. You know what dad that shock needs is a squat. Squat.
00:31:42
Speaker
So all of our ah all of our cast of youngins go out to the bars. They're drinking their party and they're having a good time. Yeah. Sean is there. By the way, I don't know if you caught it. I mean, obviously you did. You've got it in your name.
00:31:54
Speaker
Mike and Sean Brody, which he does say eventually, but are the children of ah Roy Scheider from the first movie. Yeah, because there's this whole thing about like, i i think we get it right here or maybe we do get it later where he's like, oh no, my brother doesn't swim. That shark attack that I told, oh, it's later when they're walking the beach, but I'm going to say it now.
00:32:12
Speaker
and He's like, yeah, that shark attack I told you about, that but was my brother. So like, you only told about you? What a selfish prick. I'm going to get laid. It's funny because Mike and Sean Brody are the only characters that appear in every Jaws movie, but they are never played by the same people.
00:32:28
Speaker
So it's like a National Lampoon's vacation thing. Yeah. ah Audrey.
00:32:35
Speaker
Well, they're playing the standoff game, which i don't know what the fuck this is. You just slap each other's hands until someone falls over. He says it. He's like, oh, my God, they're playing standoff. And fucking Dennis Quaid's like, my brother considers himself the standoff king of New England.
00:32:50
Speaker
A wild statement to be sure. I mean, everybody in New England standoffish. To call yourself the king is wild. But then they play this game where it's like you put your hands on each other. And I thought I push each other well i thought i understood it because you're trying to like.
00:33:05
Speaker
make them want to push you. I don't understand it. Cause the guy before, sorry, maybe you're only on one foot. The guy that's going before a Brody's little little Brody, baby Brody, he's getting slapped.
00:33:18
Speaker
It's like they're getting smacked. I don't think that's the same game. I think that's called drinking McSlapsy. And I've played that. I don't know. With McCorkendales, big, the bit a fucking proud sponsor of drinking slap.
00:33:31
Speaker
ah Well, you got to be careful saying that in that voice. That's just a Sean Connery endorsement. Oi, exactly. what we Who do you think fucking told him? Mark Orkendales. Get a few in you and she'll pipe down.
00:33:43
Speaker
But like Sean goes up to challenge Leah Thompson. i don't endorse any women. Who's the winner
Scene Analysis and Notable Quotes
00:33:50
Speaker
of the round. So he takes, you know, he's playing, he's playing winner. Yeah. And they're doing the thing. And at some point he's just like, Hey, my fly's open. And she's like hog and looks down and he gets her off balance that way.
00:34:00
Speaker
Well, two things happened. I won. And now I know you're horny. So i look, well, you mean take a peek, I can't help, but always look at somebody's groin. I mean, i think you've said the same thing about wieners and boobs. Once you see one, you want to see them all.
00:34:15
Speaker
Yeah. So Whitney is the Ellis Island of genitalia. She will take your, your flaccid, your hungry, your shrunk. Don't matter. You're big. She will change the name.
00:34:27
Speaker
She will change your name. Your penis's name is what it's Smith. Now that's definitely not smuckers.
00:34:37
Speaker
I don't know. Smuckers good name for a dick. Go on. It is with a name like Smuckers. It's got to be good. so Sean and Kelly, Leah Thompson are there flirting. They go off. Please do actor actresses names if you have because I know that more than the character names. I'm not Whitney.
00:34:54
Speaker
Well, I did that during Nightmare on Elm Street and I kept getting corrected. I was it's it was like, it's Heather. They were like, it's Nancy. Don't listen to me. Oh, because her name is just I just know her as Nancy. I know her and Leah Thompson as dream girl.
00:35:08
Speaker
So we find out that like Sean, because of the shark attack thing, like I like ah Dennis Quaid's like, yeah, why do you think Sean goes to school in Colorado? Can't get in the ocean there.
00:35:18
Speaker
No sharks in Colorado. He's in fact in the mountains. He lives in Utah, Wyoming. He lives in the middle of Wyoming at the tallest hill they have. They don't have mountains there. That's why he's in Colorado. He's at the top of the mountains. That same mountain range, but they get a little higher there. Yeah, but I'd be worried. like If it was me, I would be so – I'm already very worried of sharks. If I'm him, I'm worried I'm gonna fall into a river, and I'm going get stuck in that river until it dumps down the ocean. Boom, shark attack.
00:35:44
Speaker
Well, if you get stuck, the only reason you have to work about getting attacked is if it's your step shark. Oh, yeah. I got stuck by my step shark.
00:35:54
Speaker
There's this plot line that doesn't really matter, but it'll come up, I'm sure. So Dennis Quaid is going off to Venezuela for some kind of research thing or something. Sure. And Kathy can't go yet because she has six more months at SeaWorld and then she's got some other thing. It's Venezuela. They have great blow.
00:36:09
Speaker
You know, I have to go. that's why he's going. He's got to build something. He's actually going to be ah he's's he's not going to be there long. He's a mule. I got offered a spot in Columbia. i'm supposed to go there, pick something up, head on back. It's going to be a couple days of work.
00:36:24
Speaker
I kind of hope the cocaine... build i hope the balloon explodes. Last job. Honestly, I'm rooting for it. Oh, never say last job. So Sean and Leah Thompson go off and they're on a beach flirting around. She's enticing him to get in the ocean. He's like, I'm not going to do that. And then she like takes off her shirt and has a bikini underneath it. Or is it just a bra? Either way. No, it's a she's. Oh,
Animal Characters and Special Effects
00:36:45
Speaker
she's. Trust me, if you work at this resort, your're your underwear is swimwear. You're ready to go.
00:36:49
Speaker
But she's like, you know, open up her shirt. a revealing top and then she's like you can get in the ocean come on big boy and he's like yeah I'm not that afraid of sharks what is this maze thing there you'd have to ask somebody at SeaWorld I'm betting if if I was a betting man they put sea turtles in there and we put money down on which one goes through the maze okay it sounds like i'm a betting man because right where I went to was a bet I was like, it's it's somewhere it's something for hobbits or brownies because it's only like two feet tall. Yeah, fucking Jawas down there.
00:37:24
Speaker
If I was a betting man, I placed a bet on this. What? If I was a betting man, I'd bet it all on black. Always do. Always bet on eight. But they get... They go out in the ocean and start making out. They're about to fuck.
00:37:37
Speaker
I do really enjoy. i've I've found it genuinely funny. Usually brotherly banter is not funny in movies. It feels forced. But when Dennis Quaid and and his girlfriend here find them and he pulls up the megaphone, he's like, you're trespassing on SeaWorld property. like I found it genuinely funny because one brother didn't recognize Dennis Quaid's insanely recognizable voice. Yeah. But two, he's just like, Oh, it's cool. My brother works here, man.
00:38:02
Speaker
We're going to need ID for both of you. And she's the one who gives it up because she's like, no, you little fucking buster ass punks or whatever she says. Yeah. like Wait a second. You know what she said? I remember it. It's it's such a bad.
00:38:14
Speaker
You turkeys have ID. Oh, OK. As soon as you say turkeys, I know you're fucking not you're not a fucking cop now. You know co-op. Unless you're a co-op from like 1961. You know, all right, your turkey's got ID on you.
00:38:32
Speaker
I mean, it is 1983. now they know they Now they just say stop resisting.
00:38:40
Speaker
Stop beating the shit out of you. Do they say that? They say that while they beat you. Oh, they've already started hitting you. Yeah, they say that when they see people around them.
00:38:51
Speaker
I can't resist anymore. There's another thing that doesn't really come to anything other than I guess it gives us a kill in the in the in between times here because we have these two thieves that break in to steal coral. It's a fun kill, though.
00:39:04
Speaker
It is cool because the one guy's underwater with the light and I i knew it was going to happen, but the light goes out and the other guy's like, oh, what the fuck's going on? And he falls in and then he gets he gets pulled in. And then the yoinks the whole fucking boat. Like I was like, oh, so they're going to come in in the morning and find this raft and be like, what's this about? Nope. Nope.
00:39:22
Speaker
So, oh, get in there, too. It does actually come into and the next scene. We see Mama Shark. She's got so the cord. that pulls him down and then takes the boat with him.
00:39:35
Speaker
She's got that trailer. that what's hanging off of her? Yeah. Oh, okay. um I do like when they're getting there. it's just two dumb thieves. I mean, insert any movie. who Literally did not need to be in there. Well, but I appreciate because he's like, careful with the raft. He throws it over and explodes. Like, no, we have to drag it the whole way there. The one that says careful with the raft is the one that says now, or the one that throws it down is the one that's like, now we have to carry it.
00:40:01
Speaker
Yeah, because he wasn't careful. You're supposed to catch it. Be careful. i I don't... Careful when I throw it at you. I don't know what this raft is made out or anything, but I feel like when it's compacted, it looked very heavy. Like, they look like they were having trouble lifting it.
00:40:12
Speaker
When it was bigger, it looked a lot lighter to carry. Also, they could have... Put it over there. i mean, it's got some air compression on it somewhere. Yeah, I don't know. Hey, mister, I extra $3. I was wondering if there's any way you know I can spend it. Have you heard of Patreon?
00:40:26
Speaker
Never heard of it. What is it? You go to patreon.com slash worstpeople, give me your $3, and you can listen to a bunch of stuff that's way too inappropriate for your age. Oh, but I'm actually pretty old. I just that sound like this. It's like the Benjamin Button thing.
00:40:39
Speaker
But anyway, I was going to ask you, what if I got my mom to give me a couple more bucks and I could give you more money? Oh, that's even better. You can get ad free $5. $5?
00:40:49
Speaker
You also can get access to Latchkey Vids, our TV recap show of forgotten 90s garbage. Oh my God. I don't even know what that is, but I'm excited for it. You should be. So $5 is all I need and I get no more of these commercials?
00:41:01
Speaker
no more commercial No more commercials. more commercials. boy. You get to hear us talk about a singing cop show and more. Well, golly gee willikers, Mr. and Miss. Thanks for all the information. I'm going to go see if I can find a mom to give me $5. Let's go beat that kid up and take his $5. Ha!
00:41:19
Speaker
All right, Paul. So I think it's time we, you know, made a trailer. Do we have to? like yeah People keep asking. So we're going to deliver. What are we supposed to do in this damn trailer? You know, we're just going to talk about shit we do here. We theme our months, right? Like, what do we?
00:41:33
Speaker
I mean, I know we've done stuff like musicals and animation months and creature features, all sorts of stuff. But is that what you're talking about? Yeah, it's something kind of like that. Then I'm probably going to sit there and tell people, you know, we're on all social medias. We're on the Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok.
00:41:50
Speaker
And it's all under Flicks and Friends Podcast. Yeah, I guess so. If they're not tired of hearing that by now. Yeah. So, but yeah, that'll work. Should we press record? Yeah, let's let's press record right now.
00:42:01
Speaker
ah
Production Details and Comedic Moments
00:42:02
Speaker
One of my favorite scenes in the movie is the next morning. They're eating breakfast and ah Dennis Quaid is holding back his ears. Thank God you got that. Thank God you got that because I was watching it. Like I said, i've seen this before and I was like, is that is he holding his dog's ears back?
00:42:16
Speaker
What a lovely time we're having for for breakfast. This kitchen is lit with energy and I'm there for it. And then fucking Kay takes the dog and gets up. We don't feed the dog on the counter. Are you going to bend over? Yeah, we do if I have to hold its ears up.
00:42:31
Speaker
And I was waiting for Dennis Quaid to be like, I'm going to bend over and hold his ears. yeah Why don't you do it? I feel like that wasn't in the script. I feel like the dog was drinking water or whatever, and his ears kept dipping in. And Dennis Quaid was like, that's fine. I'll hold him He's so coked. He's like, get your fucking ears out of the water, man. look ridiculous. as You're ruining the shot.
00:42:48
Speaker
You're ridiculous. And when i do yeah when I did cocaine, I looked just like this. you
00:43:00
Speaker
um Oh, and then another friendly brother banter that I found funny was Sean was like, I was this close to doing it in the water. And Dennis Quaid holds up about four inches or something. Three. He's like this close. Three inches. That's three inches, babe.
00:43:12
Speaker
I thought that was 12. I thought that was 12 inches. That's what I've always been told. Well, this is about 18 because this is... 12 inches, 13, 12, 18. thirteen twelve yeah eighteen Centimeters.
00:43:25
Speaker
got
00:43:29
Speaker
Correct math. Correct measurements. Just some guy measurement. iin If I measure from the back of my butt cheeks. But they go to work and they have to go down in this ah submersible thing that makes no sense to me.
00:43:43
Speaker
ah Because it's a submersible that fills with water. Yeah, because of compression. its it's just to get It probably moves faster than they can swim. And it's a little bit of protection from sharks. I mean, the swim going faster than you can swim thing, I understand. Because they have those little things you can hold on to that have fans on them too. like like propellers that'll like push you.
00:44:01
Speaker
I understand that concept. But it's like if you're in a submersible... it shouldn't it's a cheap order It's a cheaper submersible. Also, they've got oxygen. They've got breathers in.
00:44:12
Speaker
Yeah, they have the radio. They're talking over the radio the whole time. i got this. It's the TIE fighter of underwater machines. You still need a fucking suit to keep you alive.
00:44:24
Speaker
You still need life support. It's not an X-Wing, dude.
00:44:28
Speaker
But just they're talking on the radio while they've got the
Character Motivations and Plot Developments
00:44:31
Speaker
breathers in. And I'm like, I mean, sure, maybe it has a radio in it, but you're ah Yeah, we say they shaca you don't have your lips. You've got a breather in your mouth.
00:44:40
Speaker
Don't they have the full face mask? No, they're just doing little mouth breathers.
00:44:47
Speaker
They're just doing some mouth breathing. You know, hanging out with Dennis Quaid, doing cocaine, mouth breathing. Having a good weekend. Because they're looking for Shelby's body at this point, right? Yes.
00:44:58
Speaker
Oh, yeah, because there's the running thing of his girl favorite girl. You don't sleep here. You don't live here. it starts with her like, yeah, like I know he's out there. If he's flirting with that gift shop girl, he can fucking sleep in a ditch with his dick cut off.
00:45:14
Speaker
You know, it keeps escalating. Eventually she's like I don't wish him no harm. I just want to know where he's at. Cause they're like, no, he's probably sleeping in a ditch. Let's go check the lagoon. Well, they realize he's missing like it's been all night. He didn't show up to work either. And then she brings all his shit and his his passport, his IDs, his credit cards, like everything is in there.
00:45:34
Speaker
MasterCard. Their product placement is delicate. I mean, yeah you get MasterCard, you get Coca-Cola. Oh, there's this. The whole movie is sponsored by Coke. yeah Oh, sorry. You're talking about the cans of Coke, not the fucking bags of Coke.
00:45:49
Speaker
And they were still the straight the straight barrel can before they... Oh, yeah. um But yeah, the bad looking effects. I don't have a shot of the submersible, but it looks a lot like this. shark I remember the first time that I watched this with the bleeps and the little fucking little yellow submersible came by and we're just like, this is great.
00:46:08
Speaker
This is exactly what I wanted from this type of movie. yeah It's Jaws 3, dude. It's not supposed to be good. i mean, they wanted it to be and it made money, apparently. They're going to go search the Spanish galleon thing that's underwater here.
00:46:22
Speaker
my God. a I thought that was real. The dolphins. The hero dolphins go over and they're literally like shaking their head like, don't go in there. They've been doing this the way. because they're like, hey, let the dolphins out for free play. It's like, no, they don't want to. Why? I don't know.
00:46:35
Speaker
Because the dolphins are fucking smart. Because there's a 35 foot shark in here with a shark baby. And somehow you don't see either of them. Stop it. That's why I said shark baby. Damn it.
00:46:47
Speaker
Damn it. Yeah, you're welcome. But yeah, they go in, they're searching the galleon. Boom, here comes baby shark. da dot da And then they have to grab onto the dolphins to get out of there.
00:46:58
Speaker
They do escape and that shark slams into the gate. And that's how we have evidence now that the shark exists because just like all these movies, anything, you someone comes in running and says, there's a great white shark in there. And everybody's like, prove it.
00:47:11
Speaker
Yeah. Bunch of flat sharkers out here. Yeah. But it's just the baby. It's not the most. There's no shark in the lagoon. All we know is there's a great white that Fitz Royce with a capital R wants to kill.
00:47:27
Speaker
He wants to murder. He's like, it's going to be fucking great shots, honey, Jim. Yes, governor. yes god yeah because yeah because he says Secret lovers by the way Oh for sure yeah oh they've They started by tag teaming women First it started by like Let's have sex with prostitutes in the same room as each other yeah And it's like well why should we get two We can just share one i mean We shouldn't have our own six packs We should just get a case of beer i mean Stare each other in the eyes and then eventually like we don't We don't need her here I was already looking you in the eyes We don't need a prostitute We just need a case of beer
00:48:02
Speaker
ah We don't need the beer, sir. We don't need the beer. We just need each other. Not at all, governor. Yeah, this other guy that's his his ah diving partner slash lover. I bet he's going down with them. It's his diving partner. Jack Tate, played by P.H. Moriarty.
00:48:18
Speaker
Moriarty. I like that name. Harry the Hatchet. Yeah. no Harry the Hatchet from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Also in the sci-fi channel Dune and Children of Dune series, he plays Gurney Halleck.
00:48:33
Speaker
that Okay. His eye is really fucked up. Josh Brolin's character in the new one Oh, I was going with the OG. ah The OG Gurney was ah Patrick stwar Stewart.
00:48:45
Speaker
Yeah. He's got that fuzzy little dog. I am not a box of avocados, Logan.
00:48:54
Speaker
it What?
00:48:58
Speaker
but Don't worry about it. What? Stream of consciousness. What just happened? I don't know. you' You'd have to replay it back. but Okay. Got it. fuzz Fuzzy avocados.
00:49:11
Speaker
I'm not a box of avocados, Logan. It's him in the Logan movie. It's like the best line of that movie. Uh-huh. We just have to watch Logan again? ah I don't remember it. We saw in theaters.
00:49:24
Speaker
Yeah, of course I did. It's got that little girl who grew up to be an acolyte. um Of course she did. Oh, yeah, yeah. I should know fucking name. No, remember her. Bennett. Something Bennett. Hayley Bennett. remember things.
00:49:35
Speaker
That sounds right. Baby Bennett, na-na, na-na, na-na. And moving on. I'm going to shrek my pants. So, um yeah, Fitzroyce wants to kill it. It'll be good media coverage. Kathy's like, no, there's no great whites in custody or in not custody. We've tried to arrest them great whites. They always seem to get away. The slippery little bastards. They always have an alibi. There's never any witnesses. Great whites. No one's ever sees them do it.
00:50:02
Speaker
That's why they call them the great white. Not just a white. They're great. Well, they're the ones who don't see themselves do it because they close their eyes before they kill it. There's a crime. There's a crime being committed to great white. Close your eyes. And Dennis Quaid's thing is he's like, fuck, no, we're not going to catch this thing.
00:50:15
Speaker
Great white sharks are murderers. Yeah. And every animal that's why they're in the world and right now is like, stop saying that. Yeah. Everybody's killing sharks because of you.
00:50:26
Speaker
Yep. The movie Jaws famously yeah upped shark murder. Shark fin soup. Spread a lot of myths about it. Yeah. I mean, i think shark fin soup was already happening.
00:50:37
Speaker
I think is like as far as like, I guess, trophy hunting for sharks became much more popularized. Which, shark fin soup is a terrible fucking thing. it's It's like the exact opposite of our Native American culture where they use every part. They use just that one part.
00:50:51
Speaker
Yeah. that's yeah Well, it was what the poaching bullshit, like with the elephants. They kill the elephants just for the test. At least ivory looks pretty. I'm not trying to justify it, but... There's so much you can eat there.
00:51:03
Speaker
There's a lot. I mean, elephant might taste bad. I would never know. i won't eat an elephant. I will not eat the flesh of the only mammal that can't, the only land mammal that cannot jump.
00:51:16
Speaker
Aw. Like me.
00:51:22
Speaker
Am I an elephant?
00:51:25
Speaker
That was fucking funny. yeah So they they suit up to go and catch this shark. They've got tranquilizers. ah Kathy's got chainmail armor. the The fucking Brits have grenades. They're like, look, it's baby Claymore. like, had a fucking chap mixing up an MR6 for me. It's little baby Claymore. Baby Claymore. You pull the pin, you make it go boom.
00:51:48
Speaker
You know, that's how it is, governor. Also, kiss me. Thank you. Good. Hopefully happy dove. Dennis is like, you're not blowing up my fucking pool, dude. Yeah. yeah There's ah there's there's acrylics down there. There's sensitive shit, whatever.
Final Plot Developments and Conclusion
00:52:02
Speaker
Lou Gossett just chimes in. He's like, no grenades just from his fucking. He spent most of his movie in this control room. Just pushing a button and talking to his will for brimling. Yes. He's doing it standing, though.
00:52:13
Speaker
Yeah. From some from time to time. Yeah. But yeah, he's 100% like- He's either sitting with a drink. Because he's all about killing this thing. That's at first. And then as soon as they're like, you could destroy our whole thing we worked for. He's like, that's a valid point, dude. No grenades.
00:52:27
Speaker
Well, she's also like- fuck up my shit, please. ah She's striking his fancy by like, think of all the money you'll make. This is an exhibit. But I need time to make sure that it's okay.
00:52:39
Speaker
She knows how to talk to him. she speak She spoke dollars and cents to a man that only speaks dollars and cents. Because if she was talking to a human being, she'd be like, somebody with actual scientific integrity. She'd be dude, look, we're trying to fucking research this. Like, we could do this.
00:52:53
Speaker
So they dive in. They're looking around. She ends up getting attacked. And the shark goes right for the oxygen tank, not for her. Because these are smart sharks. Not like deep blue sea smart. I was like, but Hunter is it smart. I think it's a little dumb baby. It's like, how do you eat humans? Is this metal part? Part of them?
00:53:11
Speaker
I mean, it's eaten three so far. The baby has. We only know about the mama eaten. I think I don't. I think this baby's a big dummy. I guess at this point you don't know because you only know this is the first time we've ever had more than one shark in a Jaws movie.
00:53:25
Speaker
Yeah. So at this point we think that's the same shark. Okay. i don't think either way. I think it's a big dummy. They take him up and they're trying to like help him recover. And he wakes up and they're like, oh, he's so healthy. Good little. Yay. We had a shark in custody.
00:53:40
Speaker
Finally, they're going to pay for their crimes. but Murderers. They're trying to wake it up or whatever from. Well, they have to I mean, we I think we know they have to. Yes, they're trying get from the drugs, which is fucking tough to You get little Narcan on you.
00:53:56
Speaker
um Got it at work. They have to put sharks have to keep swimming. So even when they have it in captivity, they have to keep pumping water to through the fucking gills. Yeah, that's one of the big things. That's what ends up happening to his demise.
00:54:10
Speaker
It didn't twitch or anything. It just was ah dead asleep. And then oh I'm attacking you. There was no signs. No, there was one. sign And we meet Jack's favorite character, whose name I didn't get, so I don't know who this guy is.
00:54:22
Speaker
Lou Gossett's sidekick, who we're just meeting like an hour or so into the movie, ah Bowtie Ginger Man. Yeah. um Okay, so I know it's a shark movie, but the second that he came on screen, I like, there's your bad guy.
00:54:37
Speaker
Is he a shark that learned how to wear a suit? Or is he somehow hypnotized by the shark? I'm not sure how this happened. Maybe I've been listening to a little bit too much Bucket of Chum, but I was like, this is there somehow the shark is a bow tie, ginger, not good.
00:54:54
Speaker
It's terrifying. He's pocketed the money and cheaped out on all the building materials because the shark should not be able to destroy that stuff. Yes.
00:55:05
Speaker
We have, of course it's shark proof. Is it shark proof? No, it's not. Okay, wonderful. I'll tell them it's shark proof. And speaking of Bucket of Chum, since Jack brought it up.
00:55:16
Speaker
Oh, Steve. We're going to be over there on Bucket of Chum at the end of this month talking about Shark Exorcist 2. We're coming back to get the sequel. It took like 10 years to make. That's awesome.
00:55:27
Speaker
I do remember being on there saying if they ever make a sequel, we need to be on it. And while we were recording the episode, they released Shark Exorcist 2 the next week. They heard us. They were like, long they heard the episode and they were like, we can make that in a day. Let's do it. Yeah, we need this fucking podcast to have more followers.
00:55:46
Speaker
Let's make it. I am super stoked. So Lou Gossett rushes the shark out for opening day so people can look at it. They have it this little shallow pool. that's not going to work out. Get out there, kid. going to be star. Say a star.
00:55:58
Speaker
And Kathy finds out she goes over there the shark rolls over and she tries to save him. This is a wishing sorry. This is like a wishing well at a place you flip pennies. This is the stingray boat. Yeah, this is where you pet stingrays. This is not where you put a great white. Oh, you're not supposed to flip coins in there.
00:56:16
Speaker
That might be why the shark died. He kept eating coins. I'm wishing that the shark lives well. Oh my God. He swallowed my penny. He's dead. All that lead just going to the fish. What did you get my old penny?
00:56:29
Speaker
eighty So there's ah it's all opening day shit So there's a bunch of tourists going to the Undersea Kingdom thing I've had a pretty big opening day shit before Leah Thompson's doing some water skiing But she takes a break to go hang out with Sean And play on the bumper boats I don't want to be in the water Anybody else First of all I don't blame him bro ah He's like he's like well that actually That voice kind of works They're not from Boston but they are from New England so um oh I don't want to be in the water It's the fucking newest England Soon as we got to this country, like this is New England, the newest one.
00:57:02
Speaker
ah does Did anybody else get nervous, though, like when they were on the bumper boats? This guy has a right to be... Tell tell her this, by the way. like It's the 80s, you couldn't tell people about your traumas. Nowadays, you're like, hey, super hotly at Thompson.
00:57:15
Speaker
I can't get in the water because a bunch of people around me all got murdered by a shark in the water. And since then, like I can't even take baths. I have to hose down outside in Colorado. You know, like tell her that and she might be understanding.
00:57:29
Speaker
My dad had to go out to sea with Richard Dreyfuss and a crazy old man. And now anytime my dad says smile, we're taking a picture. He my dad will take a picture of us. and He says, smile, motherfucker, and smile, you son of a bitch.
00:57:42
Speaker
And then just stares like he was at Vietnam. Can you imagine like that character, Chief Brody, Martin Brody being like, smile, you son of a bitch.
00:57:54
Speaker
And just his brain goes off into a Vietnam flashback about this fucking shark. Him a shark plane standoff at a bar. It just looked like was really poorly made mechanical shark, but it was so dangerous.
00:58:07
Speaker
When I said smile, you son of bitch, I didn't realize how much of a problem it was going to be for that thing to smile. I still want to go swim with sharks, yes Of course you do While these people are in the undersea kingdom And they're looking out and they're like, look at all these pretty colorful fish ah This guy Shelby's head just comes Top half comes floating up it's I would say it's his top two thirds We only see the head at first, but eventually we see that it's his torso also.
00:58:32
Speaker
The shark just ate the legs and iron one arm. No, the arm floated away. That's what it was. Oh, yeah. It can't be on the body. The shark isn't even eating it. It's just literally killing these people.
00:58:43
Speaker
Yeah, these are. But I think that was the thing from Jaws, the original. It's like it's not it could find other food. It was a murder sh shark. they There is a theory that sharks don't like the taste of human. They just think we're seals because we just like fat things. heard that. thing Well, especially on a surfboard when you're laying flat on a surfboard and you're paddling with all fours. They're like, ooh, nom noms.
00:59:03
Speaker
Ooh, penguin. My favorite. Dennis Quaid identifies the body. it's It's pretty fucking gross looking. This is the best. Yeah. It's cool. I like this. I like this. like I got fuck a fucking little crabby coming out of its mouth. You got little fucking worms and other crustaceans.
00:59:18
Speaker
You know, popping out of its skulls and it looks like ah the the kid from Halloween three. OK, I reminded me that when all the snakes cla crawl out of his mouth and shit it reminded me a lot of a dead body on ah Abyss, the submarine.
00:59:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. But I do like that because, like, they identify Dennis Quaid right away. is like, oh, yeah, that's, you know, such and That's Shelby. That's Shelby. And then Kay wants to go see, and they both are like, no, a woman, no, woman could not see this. Oh, I want to bring back to that. So great point, Whitney.
00:59:55
Speaker
that they that this Thank you. But when Fitz Royce first meets her, he's like she's like, can I help you find something? she's like He's like, no, I'm sure you can't. I'm looking for someone in authority. She's like, I'm fucking head biologist. He's like, ah oh, like this movie just has like remnants of misogyny. That's just so eighty s In great there's there's another scene where they're getting ready for the big dive and he's like you keep dealing your Needle work and I'll do with mine over here. You keep knitting over there Yeah, and I'll i'll do my business over here i'll do the man It's definitely not the most fucking misogynistic movie I've ever seen but it's just like little bits of like oh still there But I want to point out when she goes to identify the body at first I thought she just had a really bad freak out This is gonna be mostly visual because she looks at the body and goes like
01:00:48
Speaker
And holds her hands up. She's measuring.
Shark Attack Skepticism and Humor
01:00:51
Speaker
She's measuring the bite mark. Oh, the mouth. Yeah. But it's like it just looks so stupid where it's just like she looks and goes, huh?
01:00:59
Speaker
And I was like, that's the worst reaction I've ever seen. It's not the worst reaction. No, she doesn't fish she doesn't freak out because of the disgusting dead body. She freaks out because she's like, this shark...
01:01:13
Speaker
has a bite radius of like one yard or whatever she says, which means that it's at least a 30 foot. Yeah. Or 35 foot. Yeah. That's Fitz Royce chimes He's like, that's ridiculous. That'd be 35 foot shark. She's like, you fucking said it.
01:01:27
Speaker
Yeah. That's not the shark we caught. Yeah. I can do math too. I'm a girl, but I can also do math. Fuck off. And there's there' been this thing
Filtration Pipe Issues and Critique
01:01:35
Speaker
running through the movie where they keep talking. ah Dennis Quaid was looking for the body and and he's looking for the shark. They're like, what about this filtration pipe? and he's like, impossible.
01:01:43
Speaker
Too much water flow. Nothing's up there. But it comes back at this point because they're out. doing their thing and uh lou gossett jr one of his people's like hey something's fucked up with this filtration pipe and he's like right so turn it off oh is it the black dude that works in the uh uh c lab with him is it his nephew yeah he's he calls it out he's like shut up nephew oh i thought you meant the actor because the actor is so fucking bad um we're already on pump number one
01:02:16
Speaker
It's like he's terrible. That makes sense. Why is his nephew? He didn't deserve the fucking job. Nope. I do like the nephew to them.
Neptune Room and Marine Segregation
01:02:27
Speaker
They're in the ah Neptune room, they call it, which is like a cocktail bar that just has sharks outside of it, which is pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Yeah, dude.
01:02:35
Speaker
and then like, how do you keep the sharks in here? He's like, oh, we've got one of these bubble screens because the sharks don't like the bubbles. I like marine segregation. And he like stops and smiles at them. And he's like, Say it.
01:02:47
Speaker
Say it. And they're just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's Delroy Lindo in that news show was talking about. Say it. Say the end one. Right now. Say it. Say it. He's like, make a joke about segregation. I dare you.
01:03:00
Speaker
Oh, I'm glad you could separate them all, governor. Uh-oh. He's beating me with a dildo. But, like, he tells him to switch the pumps.
Realization of Massive Shark Threat
01:03:10
Speaker
He tells him to switch the pumps to the other one.
01:03:12
Speaker
Don't bother checking on the faulty one. We'll check it later. yeah we There's no way there's a 35-foot shark in there. No way. I've done the math. She's like, no. There's a this that bite couldn't have been caused by the shark that we had.
01:03:25
Speaker
It had to have been its mother. And that's what he's like. You talk about that damn shark's mother. Very funny. I laughed out loud by myself. it's up been j's Mom the whole time. Oh, yeah. It's true. mrs Yeah. joss He's Mrs. John.
01:03:39
Speaker
Nice. Jocelyn. Jocelyn Voorhees.
01:03:47
Speaker
Watch out for my son, Jaws, son. Oh, no, it's Jaws, son. But they do realize the mother is inside the park. And then like immediately they're like well, it can't be. It's not in the ocean. The baby was born in the park, which means the mother's here.
01:04:04
Speaker
Good God, there it is. And it comes
Humorous Dialogues Amidst Shark Chaos
01:04:06
Speaker
in his quake. It's like, there she is right there. It's one of the worst effects because they're all just looking. And this the shark, which is from the scene that I have the shot of here, is moving and then it's just this blue fake shattering effect of glass no that's later yeah that is this is what it just smashes into the window so yeah it it is the cobwebbing yeah ru it rams the building twice and i got confused it is the worst looking shark that we've seen in the jaws franchise again to reference uh steve from bucket of chum he's seen worse
01:04:39
Speaker
He's we saw worse. Yeah. But it is so many times the one I referenced earlier where it's just a fucking non mobile. What's the word I'm looking for? Articulate that you can't it can't articulate.
01:04:52
Speaker
Not not animated. Yeah. It's just a fucking I worked at Joe's Crab Shack. We have one of these hanging on the ceiling. And you know what I'll say in compliment to this movie is that.
01:05:04
Speaker
The ones we've talked with Steve about are all these fucking CG bullshit sharks. When this thing attacks the control room later and it's like the back half is sticking out, that's stop motion. yeah they Somebody took a little clay shark and did stop motion and it looks so much better than that shark flying out of the moon or whatever happened in Shark Exorcist.
01:05:26
Speaker
I just keep seeing Santa Jaws. Same thing.
01:05:30
Speaker
Same shark. Same level of production. Santa Jaws had a plot. I think they were both made by the asylum, so it's probably the same shark animation that's saved on this somebody's hard drive.
01:05:43
Speaker
check. Seal the park, empty the tunnels, get everybody out of the water, etc. But the show just started. etc I love when... ah ah Harry the Hatchet goes to pull these people out of the water and he knocks the one guy's beer out of his hand and the guy just moves his arm like he's going to try to punch him and he just knocks the fucking dude out and strikes him up on the beach. I don't got time for this shit. Get on the fucking trying to save you, governor.
01:06:10
Speaker
so my not you Don't make me beat you to death with your wife's dildo. I know she's got one. I've seen you in a tight looking swimsuit. Ain't packing much there.
01:06:23
Speaker
um
Shark Chases and Quaid's Performance
01:06:24
Speaker
There's all this stuff where like the shark is chasing around the the jet skiers and you keep waiting for the water skiers. Yeah. Keep waiting. i They all eat shit at one point and I was like buffet is open.
01:06:35
Speaker
yeah It's all just to increase tension. Like, are these people going to get attacked? Are these going to get... But we don't have the money for that many attacks. And we're not rated R. yeah But Kelly gets her leg jumped.
01:06:47
Speaker
These girls should have all been topless and then killed. Yeah. That would have made it so much better. Yeah, yes. Kelly does get her leg chomped because her and Sean Brody are on the bumper boat. It's stalled out. He's trying to start it.
01:07:00
Speaker
some Way too much weight in this bumper boat. No, the shark knocks him down. The shark is on the way, and you think the shark's going to bump it, but like they're sitting there, and then there's a ah very fat guy with a bucket hat who just like, ah and like drives off the other direction. Yeah, that was when they first got in.
01:07:15
Speaker
ah But he falls in the water. They both fall in the water. Kelly gets attacked. They get her out of the water and out of the movie. So her and Sean are gone.
01:07:27
Speaker
They are, aren't they? Yeah, they're gone. Oh, yeah. This is also when we get Dennis Quaid mobbing around in this fucking boat looking coke out of his line. faster. He's doing Nicolas Cage, but it's all in the eyes.
01:07:40
Speaker
But seriously, he doesn't have pupils. He does not have pupils. He not have pupils. He looks like a husky towards the end of its days. Yeah. When those blue eyes just gloss over and get all glaucoma.
01:07:51
Speaker
ah Dude, eli his pupil I saw a review on Letterboxd or someone mentioned that like Dennis Quaid says he was on cocaine for every shot he's in, which is wild considering he drives a car, jet ski and a scuba sub thing in this movie.
Evacuation Announcement and Humor
01:08:05
Speaker
Fires a spear gun. Doesn't mean you should.
01:08:11
Speaker
I love Lou Gossett's announcement to the undersea kingdom like super calm like, yeah, hey guys like there's some shit going on. We just need to get you out of there. It's all going to be crazy. This is your crappy speaking. Life is going really bad right now and you guys are all in deep, deep peril.
01:08:27
Speaker
But instead of panicking, I would like to gesture you towards our gift shops where you can get a I almost got eat at SeaWorld T-shirt. And for $19.95, we'll take you and your family's picture just before you're about to get eaten.
01:08:41
Speaker
Head towards the exits with your credit cards out. Please and thank you. I'd say don't buy the little stuffed shark for your daughter. um all stuff sha um All proceeds from stuffed sharks going to killing all live sharks.
01:08:57
Speaker
and then I love the one little girl. Has turned off yet? love the one little girl when they're all leaving and she turns around like, look, daddy, the fish. And the guy turns around and the shark is just barreling at these tunnels. He's like, holy shit. he's like I didn't see it I think you see a shadow. I think you i think we see a shadow.
01:09:14
Speaker
yeah Because this movie did not, did not. Yeah. It's not going to look good. Because we're already, you see the whale mouth that we're walking through because it's like bones and everything. yeah The editor made a choice. when When this editor saw the final cut, they were like, we're just going to show a shadow. That doesn't look good.
01:09:32
Speaker
We've already gotten a fake wooden shark attacking a pirate ship in here earlier. I can't keep doing that. um But it does attack the tunnels. Everything starts to leak these like and glass doors.
01:09:45
Speaker
o These blast doors, which is not the name, but it's yeah guess Star Wars in the brain. Yeah, a bulkhead. Yeah, something like that to stop everybody from drowning. Yeah. So we've got a bunch of people trapped in one of the little did not close leechman.
01:10:00
Speaker
yeah I wish it was Cloris Leachman, man. Dude, they could have upped the stakes because there are a lot of very elderly people trapped in this room and it's half filled with freezing
Flooding Room and Shark Attack Effects
01:10:10
Speaker
water. When we cut back later, when they're like trying to repair the tunnel, one of them people should be floating.
01:10:15
Speaker
Yep. Now there's a dead body floating around weird and everybody out. P-fucking-G, man. We're seeing the insides of shredded arms. Yeah, but that's Show me a floating dead person. That's CG. This is PG.
01:10:27
Speaker
I admit, we were watching. Obviously, we were watching. um and i say I'll admit it. We watched Jaws 3 tonight. i'll I'll admit it. Everybody just pee. It'll warm up that little room of water. I mean, you're not wrong, but then that that's fleeting.
01:10:43
Speaker
But it also fills up faster. all right, fine. What do you think? all right, this is a question. You have 40 people pee and that water level is going to go up. Here's my question to you. You got 40 people. They all got to pee.
01:10:54
Speaker
Do you have them all go once so it gets really warm for a little bit or you just fucking spread that shit out? Like two people at a time. No, no they've got to dilute all that cold water so that it's not going to warm up enough for everybody. Just enough around your body. Well, yeah, that's each person only warming up themselves. Opposite school of the thought here. That's why I pose this question.
01:11:11
Speaker
I knew what I was doing. They've got to pee together to warm up everyone. No, because there's that. What about that? Pee together. Right now. One in there who can't pee in public. Warm up. They just get to freeze to death.
01:11:24
Speaker
No, because if you move around, it blends it around. I'm sorry. You need to last longer. The guy that can't in public is not going underwater in a tube. That's the same guy. That's a Venn diagram, dude.
01:11:37
Speaker
And it's purple. ah So no, sorry. I said it wrong. It's a Vin Diesel diagram. It's just three. It's two circles that connect and they all say family, family, family.
01:11:48
Speaker
And then in the middle, it says Corona.
01:11:52
Speaker
So Fitz Royce with a capital R and Jack are going to try to lure the shark back into the pipe. So Dennis Quaid and his folks can patch the tunnels up they're going to need be live bait.
01:12:04
Speaker
So they go down, they lure in Mama. And ah soon as he goes in, they have this plan where he's got like a ah rope and he's using it to pull himself back so he can go faster. soon as it closes, Jack closes the gate and then the fucking rope snaps.
01:12:19
Speaker
Yeah. I don't understand how it snaps. um Ropes, dude. It's plot broken. There's no reason. It should have snapped right there. Plot rope. Shitty rope. It's the same rope front that they used to tie up the submersible. It's all just cheap.
01:12:36
Speaker
What we didn't see was a cut scene where the fucking shark came out there and like weakened it a little bit. It cut most of it It was all, oh, I'm out. That was Dennis Quaid with his Coke blade.
01:12:49
Speaker
he like like this royce guy hit my girlfriend He was chopping lines on the rope. I don't see a problem here.
01:12:57
Speaker
I'm just trying to get my lines as fast as as fat as this line. ah This is a good measurement. Jemama, Mama Voorhees. Jemama Voorhees.
01:13:08
Speaker
Gobbles, gobble, gobbles. Yeah, she gobbles up Fitzroy's. He's red holes wearing in a red fucking wetsuit. Well, that was the whole point. It was earlier. He was like, I'm going to wear it so I can get good shots. It'll draw their attention.
01:13:21
Speaker
Yeah, I drew their attention. But yeah, I love that he gets eaten whole and this big fucking ah mechanical robot shark is just chomping away. And you just see this guy inside there flailing around. It's pretty cool.
Grenade Plan and Shark Mechanics
01:13:34
Speaker
It was. I was a little the. the The slight nerd in me is like, well, sharks have multiple rows of teeth and this shark only has one. That guy's going to be dead a lot sooner. Right. But it's fine.
01:13:46
Speaker
We don't see him with the grenade, I don't think. But again, it's so muddy, it's hard to tell. Yeah. Because Jack even says upstairs, he's like, you should have pulled the pin, boy. Pulled the pin, Covna! Pulled the pin, Covna! he's screaming and crying, dude. Like, this is his best mate ever. And he's out of the movie.
01:14:01
Speaker
Yeah. Well, he did. Yeah. no No, the the governor. i get I mean, the yeah, he's got one one more scene where he goes down to try to like get him. But by that time, we're focused on the climax of the movie.
01:14:14
Speaker
I'm always trying to focus on the climax. on this So Catherine gets all geared up. She goes down to help Dennis Quaid ah patch up the tunnel. He needs eyes behind his back. to be his extra eyes.
01:14:26
Speaker
Oh, sorry. i thought you meant I thought you said extra thighs. I brought you some KFC. It's really soggy now because we're underwater. I thought it was a strange request, but anyway, here's your thighs. I need it.
01:14:37
Speaker
A little saltier. Did you brine this chicken? No, you're currently brining it.
01:14:45
Speaker
Well, things are brine. Lou Gossett shuts down the pump, which I guess makes it so the pole doesn't keep Mama Shark in there as much. Correct. Yeah. And that's how she's able to back out. She breaks this gate with her ass. Yeah.
01:14:59
Speaker
Like not even ramming it. You're telling me my ass won't break a gate? Back. shirt Back. Back it up. I'm an elephant. But again, sharks can't swim backwards. This one's swimming backwards hard enough to smash this fucking gate.
01:15:10
Speaker
I can't jump. neith Neither can we learn tonight.
01:15:16
Speaker
The shark gets out. Kathy and and Mike are trying to get back to the the control room.
Control Center Chaos and Special Effects
01:15:23
Speaker
And they get into this little room and the shark, there's a moment of tension kind of, I mean, for what passes for tension in this movie. Yeah, there you go. Because the shark grabs the door and they can't get it shut.
01:15:34
Speaker
Yeah, what are they saying? It was ah such an awkward angle for the jaw to be in there. No, this shark is so large, there's no way that part of its mouth went into this door. No, no. Knock, knock, knock.
01:15:45
Speaker
Land shark.
01:15:48
Speaker
But it's a moment for ah Cindy and Sandy, dolphin heroes, to come along and box the shit out of this fucking shark. Well, yeah, dolphins fuck up sharks, man. They punch them in the gills because they're all fast.
01:16:02
Speaker
Yeah. That's awesome, dude. Dope. They nose punch you. ah yeah which yeah um So they get in there. and They're like, hey, we fixed the fucking thing, so let's get the people out.
01:16:13
Speaker
And I had to take a screenshot of this guy's shirt, Jack. One of these tourists has this shirt that says, let a gargoyle sit on your face. I love that.
01:16:23
Speaker
Oh, my God. I can see the let a gargoyle sit on your. The girl behind him, like directly over his face. flat is so excited and the woman behind her is so fucking terrified.
01:16:38
Speaker
Well, and yeah I saw the shirt and I thought of immediately thought of the cartoon gargoyles. And I was yeah like, this guy hasn't seen that show yet. He doesn't know Keith. David's the head gargoyle. Yeah, but that's when he would still wear that. He would. Yeah, he would still wear that, especially for Keith. David.
01:16:55
Speaker
That's a very funny shirt. Does he want his ass licked? Is that what he's saying? Yeah.
Shark Explosion and Production Quality Discussion
01:17:01
Speaker
It should be. You should sit on a gargoyle's face. For it being, yeah. For it being 1983, it should say, let a gar girl sit on your face. Well, he's a fucking pioneer, man. should see get shirt printed.
01:17:14
Speaker
He's a pioneer. ah Yeah, I'll make some shirts and put them up on the merch store. Let a gargoyle sit on your face. Jaws 3D. like You know, 3D's nuts.
01:17:25
Speaker
And then bad movies, worse people on the back.
01:17:29
Speaker
So yeah, the shark charges the control center. This is the shitty breaking glass I was talking about, which looks awful. It reminded me of the labyrinth. Not in good way. When the glass bubble shatters.
01:17:41
Speaker
Yeah, but like that's a fantasy. This is supposed to be the real world. yeah And I just love it because it is this this exact shitty shot that we've seen of this shark multiple times. It's just the static photo in the background and this three d shark.
01:17:53
Speaker
And then it does the glass breaking thing. And then we just cut to like Lou Gossett and Dennis Quaid, everybody just getting flooded with water and knocked over. And the room is sideways at this point now. Well, you got the camera at a Dutch angle.
01:18:06
Speaker
Dutch angle. Tension. The girl in there just drowns immediately. i think her head got knocked onto the control panels. She was tired of saving her. No, she's not dead.
01:18:17
Speaker
Lou Gossett saves her. He grabs her and pulls her out and they have nephew gets taken. But nephew, he gets chomped the fuck up. Hated this nephew. He was looking for a reason to cut the ties. I got this motherfucker a job and he's terrible at it.
01:18:30
Speaker
got to hire him because fuck it it says my sister is his fucking mother. Yeah. I love her. Fuck him.
Special Effects Debate
01:18:37
Speaker
But this thing is sitting here like, you know, those shark. I think I think the little things that live in sharks or maybe it's whales mouths and they like pop out and eat shit that the that the animal is eating. Yeah, it's a symbiotic relationship. Little fishies. Well, that eat half of them that's what that's what Fitzroy's capital R looks like right here. Yeah.
01:18:54
Speaker
Because this shark is trying to chomp on them. And this guy is just like like hanging out of its mouth like one of those little things. And he's still got the grenade in his hand. And he's like holding it out like, come on, motherfucker.
01:19:05
Speaker
Just pull the pin, governor. Pull the pin, governor. So Kathy goes over to distract him by bopping or but distract her by bopping her on the head. And Dennis Quaid pulls the pin. They take cover. And we get...
01:19:19
Speaker
The most hilarious explosion. it What's the opposite of big badda boom? Little squatta foom. Little squid. I said a bloody squid. I mean, this is.
01:19:32
Speaker
The first thing is actually kind of cool because they have like the the fake shark and they just set off with like a charge or something that puts like all this red bubble shit into the water. So it looks like blood. And then when they zoom out to the wide shot, you have like the explosion and then just like the first CG shot ever made of blood exploding and then just body parts flying out. If you're watching on video or if you check out our social media, because I'll post it there. yeah The opening, the intro video for this month has this shot.
01:19:59
Speaker
It's just this these awful little blood globules, which actually, now that I'm thinking about it, aren't that bad because they look a lot like the blood in Resident Evil, which came out 20 years later. But like these awful little blood gob globules fly out.
01:20:12
Speaker
Pieces of shark go everywhere. But then the fucking teeth fly out and they just stop right in the screen like jaws. Jocelyn will return the next one.
01:20:26
Speaker
And I read in the trivia, I was trying to look, I didn't notice it. I'll have to watch this video multiple times to see. But apparently some of the chunks are supposed to be are like pieces of like a leather, like E.T.
01:20:39
Speaker
dummy, like an E.T. Oh, all right. Like reused props. Weird. Cool. um And now the movie. Well, we find out Cindy and Sandy are safe.
01:20:50
Speaker
Yes, we do. We have to. She's clapping the water, trying to get them. yeah did you not why Did you guys not stay for the post-credits? No. Oh, you didn't stay for the post-credits, too? All of a sudden, there's a killer whale, like an orca, comes up, and he goes, Finn, I'll do it myself.
01:21:14
Speaker
He's doing Thanos. I'll do it myself. Instead of fine, I'll do it myself because he's got a fin. I'll do it myself. I thought it was like fin, it's It's the Infinity Gauntlet, but there's only two stones.
01:21:25
Speaker
It's this one and this one. It's the Infinity Gauntlet. The Infinity Gauntlet. All the Infinity Stones. Fin. I'm finished with you guys. And the dolphins are the finity sounds. This ending is actually nice only because it should have ended with the teeth because they treated it like it was final shot.
01:21:44
Speaker
But I feel like a producer was like, people need to know them dolphins are okay. Yeah. So like you have them. Yeah, she's patting the water. The one comes up. There's a little bit of tension. Where's the other one? Here he comes. and Spiral over their head. And it's all this happy thing. And that's fine. This. Why do we have to finish on the worst freeze frame in film history? Yeah. It's like they come up and like they're they're really there doing spirals.
01:22:06
Speaker
And then we have. This effect of like the layered on thing of the two dolphins coming up on either side. And it looks like it's Dennis Quaid and Kathy sitting in the water. co cohan And then the two dolphins come up on either side of the screen and it freezes.
01:22:22
Speaker
It looks like a really bad... What Jack was saying earlier, we'll take your picture for $29.95. It looks like a frame from... like the the Not a frame, but like the framing of a photograph from SeaWorld. Welcome to Murder World. rash I'm sure it was the 3D image. like Oh, I'm sure. glasses on The dolphins are like, jumping at you. Oh, I didn't think about that for this moment. It's probably popping. I didn't write it down. I read some stuff about...
01:22:52
Speaker
So this was the first movie to use like video, ah like layered video effects for special effects versus like optically printing on film, which is what happened before this.
01:23:03
Speaker
But then yeah everything kind of looked fuzzy and cheap. So I think it's all of these shots that specifically layered on because it was like We couldn't use it because they they look too blurry. They don't look good enough.
01:23:15
Speaker
So last minute, they had to go back and redo a bunch in the traditional optical printing sense. And so it came out looking like shit. And there's only like three or four of the actual video effects left. I'm almost certain that this one's one of the video effects because this looks like garbage. Yes, it does.
01:23:31
Speaker
Which is why I enjoy this movie because it's it's mostly garbage. Yeah. Cocaine and garbage.
Jaws 3D Recommendation Discussion
01:23:39
Speaker
right. Around the horn. Yeah. So we'll do recommendations. We'll start with Jack because he said he enjoys this movie.
01:23:44
Speaker
I do recommend it, especially in the sense of a couple of different things. If you're watching the Jaws one to like keep going, watch this, just know what you're in for, which is not good also.
01:23:57
Speaker
And the sense of being a bad movie co-host. it It's perfect for us. It gave us a lot of really unintentional laughs. um It's not the worst thing we've seen.
01:24:08
Speaker
You know, I mean, it's no sphere. I watched it. I'll watch this all day over sphere all day. So I don't need the caveats except for. Like I don't need the drinking and alcohol caveats, but I would prefer the friendship caveats.
01:24:23
Speaker
That would have made this much better to watch this with people. Cause you can be like, Oh, you didn't see that part. Hold on. Let's rewind it. So you can see that stupid fucking effect again. I have to agree with Jack on this one. I do recommend this one. i had a lot of fun watching it. i Derek has rubbed off on me that I love the stop motion now.
01:24:42
Speaker
He's rubbed me the right way, apparently. um But yeah, I love that stop motion shark. do do to And you know I love me some Dennis Quaid.
01:24:53
Speaker
but I don't care how coked out he is. Neither do I. I I'm going to be the sore thumb here. I can't recommend this. It's like there's not enough of anything. There's not enough kills.
01:25:06
Speaker
There's enough of the movie. It's it's slow and it's too long for what it is. And it's just not enough of what I want from Jaws. There's no tension. I i didn't never once was I like, oh, I'm afraid for on anybody. No, no. And there is some fun effects.
01:25:22
Speaker
Dennis Quaid is cool. Leah Thompson's hot. Dennis Quaid's not that cool, but he's he's a good actor. Leah Thompson's hot. it's ah It's all fun. Lou Gossett fucking rules.
01:25:32
Speaker
Always. Everything he's in. He doesn't do a bad performance. He might be in a bad movie. I mean, I'll probably watch it again, but I'm not saying other people should. Okay. that's a fair i's ah That's not even a flaccid recommendation. That's a jellyfish recommendation. There's no spine.
01:25:48
Speaker
That's fair. So that's it for Jaws 3D. Whoop, whoop. ah But we have more. we have one more episode coming this month for Hollow Three and Horror Fest. Next week, we will be joined again by our friend Vern, who has previously been on Godzilla 98 Song of the South. You
Upcoming Episodes and Streaming Availability
01:26:07
Speaker
know him as our resident Disney.
01:26:10
Speaker
i mean, that's not his expert. And that's his expertise. But it's yeah, I was going to say he's got a lot. but We will be talking about Leprechaun 3. This is where the Leprechaun goes to Las Vegas.
01:26:23
Speaker
Is that Warwick Davis? Oh, yeah. All right. That's the last one he did. No, he did all of them all the way up to back to the hood. Shut up. He didn't do, there's two newer ones, Leprechaun Origins and another Leprechaun that have like wrestlers in them or something.
01:26:40
Speaker
But he was in one, two, three, four, in the hood and back to the hood. booty on the floor. Gotta cobble, get up and get down. This is only halfway through. Damn. All right. I guess I didn't realize how long it went.
01:26:54
Speaker
And then over on our Patreon, actually, I already know when this episode is going to come out. It's coming out tomorrow on Patreon for mental health for Halo 3 and Horror Month. We are doing a Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors. Woo!
01:27:08
Speaker
With Patricia Arquette, who in this picture kind of looks like Macaulay Culkin has a wig on. Yep. Laurence Fishburne looks at Heather Langenkamp. And of course, Freddy Krueger himself. Why does Heather Langenkamp look like that kid from Stranger Things? The toothless one.
01:27:25
Speaker
Yeah, she kind of does in that picture. and Not looking great there. She does look great in the movie. Yeah. yeah too But anyway, that comes out tomorrow if you're listening the day this episode drops.
01:27:38
Speaker
So that will be that. And oh, I didn't mention Leprechaun 3 is available right now on Peacock. I think it's always available on Peacock. Feels like it. ah AMC Plus. And it's you can rent it for four or buy it for five on Amazon and Apple.
01:27:51
Speaker
And A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 is available on HBO Max. You can rent it for $3.79 or buy it for $10 on Amazon and Apple. That's a digital ah good good digital price for that movie.
01:28:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's actually really good. I'm pretty sure it's the 4K upgrade, too, if I'm not mistaken. yeah if you're not if you're not a physical media collector, that's fucking great. Yeah, and that's you don't need to see those movies in 4K, but I'll bet you it looks
Patreon Content and Latchkey Vids
01:28:19
Speaker
pretty good. because i should. That's not watched it. probably should.
01:28:21
Speaker
And then, of course, also at the $5 level over on Patreon, we have Latchkey Vids, our television recap show where we're talking about forgotten or never known shows from the 90s.
01:28:32
Speaker
And this month is the penultimate episode of Cop Rock, episode 10, No Noose is Good Noose, where we get the verdict. that forehead right We get the verdict for LaRusso's trial.
01:28:44
Speaker
We find out more about the chief being racist and we get some pretty. Can Ralph take a pee. Also in on latchkey vids.
01:28:55
Speaker
We hear a guy's thing about wanting to get stepped on and scratched by stiletto heels. Okay. yeah So maybe I, maybe I had a solo. Oh, in the, okay. Him. Yes. Not me. Okay. Got it. Got it.
01:29:07
Speaker
But that's it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm still married. I'm Jack. just Just married. All right, cool. ah Oh, you know what, guys? My fly is open.
01:29:18
Speaker
What?
Shrek Time Measurement and Pop Culture Humor
01:29:56
Speaker
I've started using Shrek as a unit of time where one Shrek equals one hour and 35 minutes. Examples. See you in a Shrek. Dinner will be ready and half a Shrek. ah My birthday is only 469.9 Shreks away.
01:30:10
Speaker
ah I'm going to go throw up for a Shrek and a half, dude. Fuck.
01:30:15
Speaker
I actually started using Shrek as well, ah Derek. I Shrek my pants. How bad was it? It was a Shrek the third. Oh. Like it's just every every Shrek is a version of shitting your pants, but like Shrek ah forever after or whatever that shit is means that you never get clean underwear again. you from here on after you have Shrek in your butt, which is to say wet poop.
01:30:40
Speaker
I like, I don't want Michael Myers in my butt. Oh, look at that. I'm in your butt. I'm going to get out because I'm a turd and I'm trying to get out of your butt.