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Ep 172: Howling III: The Marsupials - Hallo3n Horrorfest
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Howling III: The Marsupials takes the werewolf franchise in a wonderfully bonkers new direction... straight to Australia, where the creatures aren’t just wolves, but marsupial werewolves with pouches. A young she-wolf flees her cult-like pack to pursue love with a filmmaker, while scientists and government officials bumble around trying to study (or exploit) the species. There are werewolf births, bizarre transformations, and even ballet involved, all delivered with a mix of horror, camp, and unintentional comedy. It’s less scary sequel, more creature-feature soap opera with kangaroo DNA.
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back.
00:00:05
Speaker
It's been a while. I feel I wearing a hat, you idiots.
Introduction to 'Bad Movies, Worst People'
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome back, folks. It's Halo 3 in Horror Fest. And this week, have a weird feeling.
00:00:16
Speaker
Indigestion? No. Fear. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I need a Tums. This is Bad Movies. Worst people.
Creating a New Podcast Intro
00:01:03
Speaker
Anybody else kind of bummed that we're not using the Sky Timber intro? It's our first time we without it since Derek made it. Yeah. Yeah. It's still a good intro. was like, I might make one for this month, too. I'll just use the same song from last month.
00:01:18
Speaker
Yeah. Or a different song. Yeah. Get his music out there.
00:01:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:32
Speaker
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I was ready for it. I was going to unmute the mic and just talk over I was
00:01:40
Speaker
ow yes You have to it. Unlike my readiness for this cinema. And yes, it was a cinema. It's a cinema. I mean, I read a review on Letterboxd. It says this is peak Australian cinema.
00:01:53
Speaker
It was film. If I had to write a review for this movie, it would say, I don't know what the fuck nonsense I just watched and I'm pretty sure I loved it.
Humorous Review of an Australian Film
00:02:05
Speaker
Yeah, because it is just something else, man. Funny story. How many times watching this just by myself was going, what the fuck am I watching? my review from when I first watched this back in March, um, way back when says basically along those lines, like skip to the end.
00:02:24
Speaker
I don't know what I watched, but I enjoyed it. I think. Yeah. So same feelings. Yeah. I mean, this might be one of the few times that you'll hear me say this, not only, but few times less story.
00:02:37
Speaker
The movie yeah parts of this movie is where it is where it really flounders. Everything else is pretty fucking tits. I'm pretty sure those parts were the parts where they were waiting for the coat guy. Oh, yep.
00:02:48
Speaker
You got to have something to do.
00:02:52
Speaker
Whatever the Australian version of Tom Savini is, get that bloke down here for a bit bit of the payota. Maybe we can even get Tom Savini's. Fucking couple of toots here. think Tom Savini wants to come down here and get some demi. too It's too far away from Philadelphia for him.
00:03:07
Speaker
This week we are state something if we are talking about Howling 3, the marsupials.
Discussion of 'Howling 3: The Marsupials'
00:03:16
Speaker
hu um So I think, mike Whitney, have you seen this?
00:03:20
Speaker
Never. Have you seen any of the other Howlings? No. Derek, have you seen any of the other Howlings? Mostly the ones that came before? I've seen one, two, and three. Okay.
00:03:30
Speaker
So a feeling that I got, and correct me if I'm wrong, this movie does not require me to see those other ones. Oh, not at all. This movie has nothing to do with those other movies. That's a feeling I got. Like, right away, I was like, I think I'm fairly caught up.
00:03:44
Speaker
And, as a matter of fact, Howling 2, so it's Howling 2, Your Sister is a Werewolf. Your sister's Boogaloo. Also known as... Sheba the she-wolf or something along those lines. I had a cat named Sheba.
00:04:00
Speaker
I don't remember. It's got an alternate title. I had a friend named Sheba. I had a cat named Shasta.
00:04:08
Speaker
confusing all hi Shiva so it's the one I have is labeled howling to your sister is a werewolf it was also known as howling to colon sterba werewolf bitch oh oh and it has Christopher Lee in it werewolf bitch just sounds like a fucking CW show that's coming out she's a werewolf bitch it was don't trust the in part 123 it kind of has to do it's kind of related to the first one In that the main character girl is the main is the girl from the first one. I think it's a different actress.
00:04:43
Speaker
But other than that, these movies have nothing to do with one another. Yeah. Kind of got that feeling. Yeah.
Plot and Characters of 'Howling 3'
00:04:49
Speaker
None of them. They have nothing to do with How I Met Your Mother? Is that what you just said? Yes. The original is a great movie. It directed by Joe Dante.
00:04:57
Speaker
It's yeah fucking awesome. I'm sure Zip probably had me watch it one day. Probably. Probably. But yes, let's talk about Howling 3. The marsupials.
00:05:07
Speaker
If we must. I was like, I don't know why I picked this movie because I even told you guys before. And then as I was taking notes, it came to me again. I was like, I don't have notes for this. Like, I have a bunch of notes. But if somebody read them, they'd be like, these are the ramblings of a madman.
00:05:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I miss the ramblings of a drunk man. It is waiting for the coke to get there, as you say. Like, it is just killing time in between special effects that are mostly really fucking fun.
Casting and Niche Appeal of 'Howling 3'
00:05:36
Speaker
And if they're not good, they're funny. Yeah. And I don't think last week I said where you could watch this. I'm pretty sure I even commented after we signed off. I was like, damn it. I forgot.
00:05:47
Speaker
Yeah. But it is on Prime for those who have Prime. And then it's you can rent it on Amazon or Apple for four dollars. Buy it for ten. Or you can get this sweet Blu-ray from Shout Factory.
00:06:00
Speaker
Not paying us. That's right, I own this. Yeah, I am paying them. I can see why you would. I bet you Sarah Jones ser owns this. I bet you Zip owns this or wants to. I don't know.
00:06:12
Speaker
It just seems like it's such a fucking underground cult thing. And something's wrong with my ears. I swear to God, you said Sarah Jones. And was like, who the fuck is Sarah Jones?
00:06:22
Speaker
But Serge got it. But yes, this came out in 1987. It's rated PG 13, even though there are nipples in it. But there are prosthetic nipples.
00:06:33
Speaker
How well, there are hair covered nipples. I don't think those were hers. yeah I saw some fucking. Some work on the sides. That's just for the for the hair. Yeah.
00:06:44
Speaker
yeah I don't know. She had some nice boobs without her top off. So I was imagine that those were hers. but um And it's directed by Philippe Mora, who did direct Howling 2, Your Sister is a Werewolf.
00:06:58
Speaker
um He also directed Mad Dog Morgan, which I've talked to you guys about before. That's a Dennis Hopper, Osploitation movie. There's a whole dollop episode about that guy.
00:07:09
Speaker
oh yeah. audio Oh, we talked about it while we were watching um Stunt Rock yeah because the stunt where he lights himself on fire and jumps off the cliff is from Mad Dog Morgan. Gonna want to see that.
00:07:23
Speaker
And apparently he made a documentary that I want to find, but I couldn't find anything about it other than like it probably exists called Dracula Nazi Hunter. How I learned to love Christopher Lee and drink atomic bombs.
00:07:36
Speaker
Oh, yeah. What's an atomic bomb?
00:07:40
Speaker
Christopher Lee's spit. i'm assuming there's I'm assuming there's a cocktail called the atomic bomb. I don't know, but it's now. It's all about Christopher Lee being a Nazi hunter after World War II.
00:07:51
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Pretty cool. I feel like we watched something like that. And wasn't he a Nazi hunter during World War Two? Yeah, but he was afterward. He was hunting down ah like i Nazis.
00:08:02
Speaker
um So there's no box office because this was as you guys watched the movie and could clearly tell direct to video. It's like a budget of like a fucking one point five million. Is that your guess? I couldn't even find a budget. Oh, I could find nothing.
00:08:17
Speaker
OK, you get nothing. And however, i do have one alternative casting for Jerboa. Okay. Pia Zadora. Australian.
00:08:29
Speaker
Dana DeVito. No, it's going to be Olivia Newton-Jean. No. I was so sure of it. and I don't think she's Australian. Nicole Kidman. Crocky. Nicole Kidman.
00:08:42
Speaker
Oh. Because Nicole Kidman was doing stuff like Man, this would have been a wetter movie. du if she If she's bringing that Batman Forever energy, holy shit. As sweaty as they were when they were in the bed, elevate that sweat.
00:08:55
Speaker
Yeah. talk then We'll talk about Cool Hand Luke levels of sweat. Back then she had a Felicity hair, like super yeah frizzed out curly ass hair too. You guys know I'm not a fan of Nicole Kidman.
00:09:06
Speaker
Oh, know. But... think I think she could probably could have acted better than this girl. This girl was fine. But the girl that plays Jerboa, who I have her name later on here, is fucking gorgeous.
00:09:18
Speaker
Way hotter than Nicole Kidman. Oh, yeah. She is gorgeous. she remind me I told Derek, she reminded me of the girl that played Tara in the show Buffy. That was Willow's girlfriend. No, I got nothing on that. I know you don't. Somebody listening does.
00:09:32
Speaker
hope so. No, I don't think that. I mean,
Low-Budget Charm and Transformation Scenes
00:09:35
Speaker
like nobody here is a good actor. Nobody's like everyone's doing the exact same job, I think. And that's fine. It's good. It's a. I don't know. Horatio Harry Birkenstock didn't do a bad job. No, no, no. You're not grancing over that. Horatio Harry Birkenstock. Go back.
00:09:51
Speaker
Okay. bernie It was Birken. Birken. Professor Harry Beckmeyer Beckmeyer but at one point so Horatio is Professor. Sharp calls him Horatio.
00:10:02
Speaker
Yeah because he's doing some kind of quote but he's like so he's messing it up but it's a quote I don't get. That's the only actor that's the actor we've had on the show before. I mentioned it to you guys previously. i don't know if we were recording or not but that's Barry Otto.
00:10:14
Speaker
He played ah Shakes in The Punisher. That's right. Yeah I think that was in recording. Man, he looks so different. It's canon now. There's an alternate title. here's a part It's an alternate title? there There is an alternate title for this movie before before they made it a Howling 3 movie. They had a different name for it.
00:10:32
Speaker
um You're not going to guess, but I like to hear you try. It's a parody of another movie's title. The Romans came to Australia to have tea with the Queen.
00:10:44
Speaker
I know that's not right, but how shocked you have been if it was? Empire of the Lycanthropes. ah So it's a parody of a movie title, A Room with a View. It was a Womb with a View.
00:10:57
Speaker
Even I don't like that one. Because, you know, it's a pouch and and the little the little thing can look out. Fun fact about that little creature.
00:11:09
Speaker
That little creature that this poor woman gives birth to later in the movie. um reverse sex toy to do the the little creature crawling around i don't know if you guys noticed it had little paws you could see its paws moving that was a mouse with like a latex thing a fitted to the outside of it god yeah so there's a little mouse crawling around with like a little uh halloween costume on oh my god i hope it had fun did it survive ah probably it's not alive now No, it's dead now. Well, yeah. It's an old ass mouse.
00:11:42
Speaker
Unless it got exposed to the ooze, then it might still be alive and it might be teaching some turtles karate. Oh, yeah. Except it's in Australia, so it's just teaching them how to drink instead. It's teenage mutant koala drunks.
00:11:57
Speaker
That's not a knife. Yes, it is. It is a knife. Okay, it's a knife. So right out of the gate, we get that this movie is going to be fucking weird. That was a koala tea joke.
00:12:09
Speaker
It starts with like a fake MGM opening. yeah And I didn't know what this creature was because I did not remember the end of this movie. So I wrote down that there's a chupacabra instead of this MGM lion. Because this fucking thing, if this is real, which I think it is, this looks like real footage. that This thing is fucking terrifying.
00:12:26
Speaker
This Tasmanian wolf, its mouth opens up large enough to eat like a four or five year old. yeah But it's like the size of like a small golden retriever or a small German shepherd.
00:12:37
Speaker
It's a Tasmanian devil. Where Derek's brain goes, you could have mentioned like large enough to eat and then mention animals. Derek's like, it's large enough to eat a four or five-year-old child. Get that kid out of here.
00:12:50
Speaker
Fucking save the wombats. Okay, it's large edge it's large enough to eat an overweight koala. There you go. Why does it have to be overweight? Just like koala. Well, because koalas are like, you know, they're they're they're like one size, but then like an overweight koala is a bigger size. It's the next step up.
00:13:06
Speaker
They're also riddled with chlamydia. That's why they call them chlamalas. Chlamydia. Chlamydia koala.
00:13:13
Speaker
lydialaediaical koala So guys, if this has not been your thing so far, might as well turn it off. Strap in this is a weird movie and we're going to be weird. It's going to be fun.
Werewolf Transformation Comparisons
00:13:24
Speaker
don't think going be a quality episode.
00:13:29
Speaker
but We start out finding about werewolves around the world. There's like some footage that we'll get back to from like 1905. um And then there's a ah werewolf in Siberia.
00:13:41
Speaker
And we find out that the United States is listening in on these Soviet transmissions. Well, it's the eighty s This is where we get that that line that we opened with. One of the guys is like, because one of the guys is saying it's maybe it's a code word or something. He's like, they don't know we're listening.
00:13:54
Speaker
I don't know, man. I have a weird feeling. Indigestion. And yeah his friend just says indigestion. No. Fear. When you got nausea, heartburn, up stomach, diarrhea.
00:14:06
Speaker
Why they put so much on diarrhea? Diarrhea. Diarrhea. because like nausea, heartburn, upset stomach, those are all small problems. Diarrhea can mess up your day or your pants.
00:14:19
Speaker
Can mess up somebody else's day. Definitely. um So we cut to Professor Harry Beckmeyer, who we mentioned. He's he's a college professor. Harry Beckmeyer sounds like an old English sex move. And then she came over and gave me the old Harry Beckmeyer.
00:14:34
Speaker
ah I haven't quite recovered. Yeah. And he's teaching his students about this werewolf footage. It's like this tribe. and they're like, oh, it's such a good mask. We just don't know how they made it. And I'm like, well, for one, it's not that good of a mask. You can see the human legs.
00:14:54
Speaker
Well, they didn't say that. No, they said the mask good. A just covers your face, not your body. The body coverings don't look good, just the mask. Yeah. Well, because it's the whole upper, half the whole lower half is exposed.
00:15:04
Speaker
It's like he's mid transformation. Yeah. it's this is This is like a werewolf from a romance novel. This is a werewolf that folks. It is half person, half marsupial.
00:15:16
Speaker
I don't think all of them are though. Right? The ones in Australia are. i just think like some of these people are not all the same Tasmanian devil. Some of these that we're looking up here are different. I guess maybe they all are supposed to be that.
00:15:30
Speaker
I have a question. Yes. Or more of a statement, rather. So, Thilo, right? Thilo. Thilo. Said that the Phantom is five different shapes five different animals yeah each lycanthrope is one of those animals okay that's what was thinking we have different i have a family feeling this was written in because and i don't remember exactly what the thing was that i i or i didn't read it i saw it in the behind the scenes with the director because yeah you better believe i watched that but it was back in march um
00:16:03
Speaker
They didn't have obviously a budget and they didn't get costumes until like super late for some of the stuff. And they were the studio just gave them like they're like, here, use these. and they were like eight costumes or something like that.
00:16:14
Speaker
OK, I just had to have people like add shit on. I put some teeth and some hair on the face and do do what you can. So I think he's just like, yeah, sure. They're Tasmanian wolves or wolves or dogs or creatures are all the same thing. Kangaroos. There we go.
00:16:31
Speaker
I don't remember the different animals he said, but like, yeah, that's it's like that way they can just cover for like tiger we only have. Oh, we have one of each type of costumes. So let's just go with it, guys. but Work it out in the script.
00:16:46
Speaker
I liked that, though. Even if that was an afterthought, I like that. It'd be like, we're all the same, just different breeds, bitch. Yeah. Well, and I love this next part because like this college professor can just go visit the president, apparently.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yep. even though I think he's a college professor in Australia. Yeah. But he goes to visit the American president. I don't know. But I like this bit because like for no reason he's talking to this guy and and he's like, why are these cameras here? And they point right at the actual movie camera and he's like, oh, we're filming everything for future generations.
00:17:18
Speaker
And then like, But when they cut to the wide shot, there are no cameras there. And then the rest of the movie, no one says anything about it. Right. So it was like that one scene. A drop plot where this is supposed to be almost like a found footage thing.
00:17:31
Speaker
Maybe. Maybe. And then they were like, well, it's already 98 minutes. We can't make it found footage and explain all that. That's another hundred. That's 104 minutes. It's the office film crew. It was the setup for the next film.
00:17:42
Speaker
but Yeah. One of those guys just looking at camera. Oh, you know what? He's not a professor in Australia. He's a he's Australia, but he's a professor in America because he's talking about the werewolves in Russia. And he's like, and there's also evidence that they're down in Australia.
00:17:55
Speaker
They have all kinds of natural freaks down there. So he goes to Australia, meets with his friend, Professor Sharp, played by Ralph Cotterill, who's in a movie that I like called The Chain Reaction. i didn't necessarily recognize him. It was a um Why am I drawing a blank on his name? George Miller helped with it. He did some of the second unit shooting and stunts and stuff. He's the guy that did Mad Max.
00:18:20
Speaker
Oh, OK. That was the whole reason I watched the movie. I was like, George Miller. Got it. God, you love your Aussies. I do. They make some fucking insane shit. but I mean, just in general. And then cinema as well.
00:18:34
Speaker
Do you think you could live in Australia? I could live in Australia. They won't let me. well We don't make enough money. This is going to sound like it's a bad idea at first, but then let me finish it. There's a little town called Coober Petey, and the summertime average is like 115. The entire city is underground in caves.
00:18:51
Speaker
Sounds amazing. yeah And you have climate control year-round. Everyone's like, it's like 70 degrees down here. I'm like, oh, my God. And when I say caves, like it's not like you're fucking roughing it. like They have TVs built into these cave walls.
00:19:04
Speaker
Awesome. um It sounds kind of amazing. I'm already I've already I just booked a ticket. Yeah, I'm on my way to Cooper P.D. I'm going to change my name to Copper Petty. Copper Petty from Cooper P.D.
00:19:16
Speaker
Well, so it's just a lot of like. okay so the the plot as it is, you should have finger quoted just so you guys know the plot as it is in this movie is. um
00:19:30
Speaker
There's this chick Jerboa. I'm just going to go through it so we can talk about the madness. This chick Jerboa escapes from her village, who are all werewolves, falls in love with a guy named Donnie. They make a weird little mouse alien baby.
00:19:43
Speaker
The government wants to kill him. There's a ballerina. There's some nuns. Yes. Ballerina is also lycanthroped, right? She didn't get infected. Yes. she is No, she was also one. She's the Siberian. The Russian ballerina that defected to us. Right.
00:20:00
Speaker
And then something, something, the government chases them, and then the Pope says it's okay, the end. Yeah. Everything's plot of the movie. But there are jokes and moments along the way that we're going to talk about. And one I like is weird scenes that make no fucking sense. Yeah.
00:20:15
Speaker
But one I like is here when he's talking to Sharp because he's like telling about the werewolves. And the guy's like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, when did you become so conservative? And the guy goes, when I discovered that UFO footage was actually a condom filled with dog shit and a flashlight.
00:20:29
Speaker
What? What? Can we get that footage? Is there is there? Can we look at that footage? How do we get that footage? um and Who you make it pooped in the condom? Did you just have a really good aim or did you have to manipulate? Well, it's dog shit, so you they gotta to shove it in there.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah, but what's that like it's gotta to be like a big dog, right? Or like a lot of little dog turds. Yeah, it's either a little bit of big dog shit or a big amount of little dog shit. Or your dog had diarrhea and you just held a condom up to its butt and let it poop in the condom and then you tied it off and then you shined a flashlight through it and now it's a UFO.
Absurd Hospital Scene in 'Howling 3'
00:21:04
Speaker
Question mark. Not happy about this. and Neither am I, but he said it. I didn't. And then we meet Jerboa, who's played by an actress named Imogen Ansley.
00:21:16
Speaker
ah The only credit of hers I recognized was that she was in Queen of the Damned. Oh, so we will see her. We might see her in that she played Club Vampire.
00:21:26
Speaker
So she's just like an extra. I'll pick her out. I'm surprised she didn't do more unless she just didn't really want to, because like she's a decent enough actress. I mean, yeah maybe it's a Lamas effect here, but she's also beautiful.
00:21:39
Speaker
And in the 80s, that's all you needed. You didn't to be a good actress. yeah it' just got a great Look at Bo Derek. People thought she was beautiful. You say that, but how many times have we talked about American horror movies where we're like, this chick or this guy was great, did nothing else?
00:21:53
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So it does like she could have at least done more Australian shit for movies down there. Maybe she didn't want to have sex with anybody anymore. She didn't want to be tied to the hood of a truck and have her shirt ripped off and then have that truck drive through the desert.
00:22:06
Speaker
Yeah, because that's a movie that I own. You are missing. Of course it is. you Friend. It's a great movie. It's called Fair Game. Anyway, fair play. So her stepdad or the leader of this group, the the alpha, the alpha of this yeah pack, that silent ah who's played by Max Fairchild, who might be one of the guys you recognize, Jack.
00:22:26
Speaker
No. He's the one I recognize. He was in Mad Max and the Road Warrior. um He was in Killing Time with Kiefer Sutherland. And he's in a movie that I'm going to have you guys watch. Maybe not for the podcast, but we're going to watch it because I bought it.
00:22:40
Speaker
It's a Rutger Hauer movie called Salute of the Jugger, also known as Blood of Heroes. ah just Next time lead with it has two titles. I'm i'm in. And it's like an action movie about this sport that they made up where people, I'm not 100% sure. I'm pretty sure they play with skulls and there's murder.
00:22:57
Speaker
I don't know. But it had ah whoever I just said. I've lost. Rucker Hauer. Rucker Hauer. Thank you. All of a sudden I was thinking Dolph Lundgren. And was just like, are we going to Jax tonight and watching this?
00:23:08
Speaker
Let's do it. Then I was just making plans in my head. but But Max Fairchild, he's the big bald guy. And it's funny because later on they have like a really crude drawing of him. Oh, really? I could do better than this on an Etch-a-Sketch. It's the meme. It's the 4chan meme guy that's like pointing at people and laughing. Yeah.
00:23:27
Speaker
I fucking, I die. I LOL'd real hard. Oh, yeah, as you should have. Well, when when the ballerina's looking at the picture and the guy's like, i don't know what you see in him. And she's like, you don't understand. and i'm like, nobody understands. It's literally a circle with two dots in it and a smiley face.
00:23:44
Speaker
it's fucking woolly willy without any of the hair pulled up to it aka the fucking face from operation without hair
00:23:56
Speaker
it's literally i had to pull it up i don't have a picture of it but it's like it's almost exactly you can't even oh oh it went away oh we saw your porn It's almost exactly this guy.
00:24:07
Speaker
There we go. There you go. Except crude lines. Cruder. We should have had ourselves do it. We should have just been like, hey, draw this. We're going put it on the podcast.
00:24:19
Speaker
But like he tries to sexually assault her. She runs away. We cut to her getting a ride for her and she's in a bus. And this guy is like, why don't you want to be home? And she's like, oh, because my stepfather tried to rape me and he's a werewolf.
00:24:31
Speaker
Yeah. That's our introduction. Oh, and did you so, Jack, I told Whitney so she can't she can't play in this game. The town is called Flo. Do you get it?
00:24:43
Speaker
Because she's on a period. No, because it's Wolf backwards. Oh shit. Yeah, it is.
00:24:52
Speaker
Damn. I didn't think about it until we, there you She drew it. Yup. That's perfect. I didn't think about it until I get it. Hmm.
00:25:02
Speaker
I see what she sees in him. Hold on. I'm going to want to draw you guys up one here real quick. He's just so primitive and beautiful.
00:25:13
Speaker
Oh, she is fucking moister than an oyster right here. She's throwing her feet up in the air. just made this guy into a fucking graboid. Hold on a second.
00:25:25
Speaker
That's how you get graboids. I just sent Derek a TikTok about that. We'll have to show you. Yeah. That's how you get graboids. That's kind of what I saw.
00:25:39
Speaker
You know what that looks like to me is if some fucking company got a hold of the nerds franchise like we're gonna make an animated movie about nerds
00:25:50
Speaker
um She then is accosted by two men in the park and she gets all wolfy on them Oh the best though we're not gonna blow over the fact that he's like hey baby you want to have some fun I'll give you my seat stereo and she like half wolfish like compact disc
00:26:05
Speaker
Try it off with a Sheila Mysterio. She got little picky on me. She says she's wearing a compact disc. don't even have one of them. Got me a little boombox here. EM, FM radio. Play a little stereo. Maybe a little men down under.
00:26:17
Speaker
Men at work, I mean. Play a land down under. Men at work. Ask me for a bloody compact disc. Out here, you got no skip protection on these roads?
00:26:28
Speaker
But, like, immediately after that, our hero... Yeah. Donnie. Yeah. Who this guy? The hero's the professor. he Okay. So.
00:26:39
Speaker
The love. The love interest. Yeah. Donnie like pulls up to this park. Falls in love immediately. And sees her sitting in the park and just starts chasing her and like, dude, I get it. But like, don't start chasing the woman.
00:26:51
Speaker
No, no. Like she's gorgeous, but you don't just when you go to approach her and she runs, don't chase her through the park. She's trying to climb a building. Yeah. like No means no. And so does climbing a building fleeing from you.
00:27:05
Speaker
But they're immediately in love. Well, I can kind of explain that. her pheromones gotta to be off the fucking charts cause her, or her what what they say her hormones are.
00:27:15
Speaker
So I bet you her pheromones are too because when fast forward to Olga, Olga? Yeah, when she's all tied ah tied down, that's when the professor starts to fall in love with her. Like he's just like getting really close, like god damn, I gotta kiss this girl. He pulls back. So I think it's that Anakin Skywalker accidental thing.
00:27:34
Speaker
That makes sense because it's just the yeah it's the pheromones because they're they're in heat. Are you saying the mitochondrialorians? The mitochondrialorians. Yes, thank you Horatio Henry Baklavaka.
00:27:46
Speaker
But like he's he's just chasing her through the park like a madman to offer her a job on this little tongue-in-cheek joke. I'm trying to hire you. Slow down. What are you what you're looking for in a workplace environment?
00:27:58
Speaker
Because he's working on a movie called Shapeshifters. Part eight. A little Philippe Mora joke about doing Howling Part three. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. I would watch this movie that hear they're making, by the way. I don't know what the fuck it is. I would watch the movie in the movie, the one we're about to come see.
00:28:16
Speaker
That is peak cinema. Oh, my God, where he's just laughing uncontrollably and everybody's just horrified in the background. That was me. Well, that would make sense, though, because he's he's working on horror movies. So he yeah he's looking like, all I see is production, and I love it.
00:28:33
Speaker
And then so he takes her there. They meet the director, ah Jack Citrone, played by a guy named Frank Thring.
00:28:44
Speaker
Is this one of the guys you recognized? No. OK, because this guy played, i believe he was Pontius Pilate and Ben-Hur. OK. And he shows up in Mad Dog Morgan, but he was also in Beyond Thunderdome.
00:28:57
Speaker
He's the collector. He's the guy with the eyepiece and ah he's doing the trading and stuff. He's trading water for whatever. One quarter portion. Different movie, but... We haven't even gotten to my guys yet. And I doubt many people besides me and some of my ilk would recognize these two blokes.
00:29:15
Speaker
The aboriginals? No. Although I love the aboriginal. There's a part... Kendi? I didn't even catch a name. Kendi's awesome. Yeah, Kendi, I think. Just ah because we're all over the place with this madness of a movie. When he's getting ready to die and she's like, you will turn into a river and then a rainbow.
00:29:35
Speaker
No, I think I'll just die. was like, I can appreciate the fuck out of that line. like ah Your afterlife is going to be awesome. You're going to be a river. Ew, people to pee in me. um You're going to be a rainbow. Oh, people are going to film rainbows and cry about them? No, I think I'll just die.
00:29:50
Speaker
Dude, yeah, that made me laugh. and That guy, I love their... and by myself yeah I love the thing... I loved in this movie, they have the two Aboriginal characters that are like both... The one that's with Flo, the guy were about, Kendi, and then the tracker guy that's with the hunters later. The tracker guy delivers some of the best scenes.
00:30:08
Speaker
They didn't do the, like... The, like... Native savage quote unquote kind of thing where it's like they don't speak they speak in broken English and they wear like a loincloth or whatever like this guy has the most the Heaviest normal normal like he's not even an Australian. accent He's almost like British accent. Oh, he's like British. He's like a bloke Yeah, he's like a blokes. ah There's some trackers coming and there's a spirit that's about to get you Yeah, like the other guy is a little bit more Ozzy's like ah ah How's he he has he do his?
00:30:40
Speaker
If you hear that bloke right behind you, don't don't turn around. He'll let you slow. And I mean real slow. He's going to get you. I'm fucking gone. It's got teeth so big, if it puts it in your mouth, it'll come out your asshole. Yeah. That's so good. Like that guy just the whole time everyone's like, I'll give you 20 bucks.
00:30:55
Speaker
How fuck am I spend 20 bucks when I'm dead? Give you five bucks. I very much appreciated that they did that with the Aboriginal characters, though, because it's like at this time you're still getting things like walkabout and stuff, which is a big movie. That was it was a good movie. But like people are there playing like the stereotypical native thing.
00:31:15
Speaker
But this is just like, no, this we're just dudes. Yeah, we we're just dudes that have darker skin than you. Weird.
00:31:24
Speaker
um Oh, and somewhere in there, we also meet the nuns. Oh, yeah, they're they're tracking women in the beginning. Yeah, these are the women in the beginning that when she um was.
00:31:38
Speaker
a They're the women of the camp. like Okay, I didn't recognize them, but it's just a bunch of yeah Australians. They all look the same. They're ones like, why are you trying to leave? Why do you hate us?
00:31:49
Speaker
shut and up Oh, okay. Okay, it makes sense. They're kind of the three fates. Exactly. i love the one, the they're on this bus and this little kid just keeps doing like the neener neener face to the one and she just growls and like snarls at him and he starts crying and the mom just looks at the nun and the nun's just like, well, fuck your kid, dude. Yeah, but it's still not the worst thing a fucking Catholic has done to a kid.
00:32:10
Speaker
This is him getting off light, dude. But I like this, the director of the movie. This dude is doing, obviously doing like a riff on um Hitchcock, right? Yeah. The way he's talking about movies. and Yeah, but he's doing, well, I mean, Hitchcock talked like that. it was his But it's he's doing, it it's an exaggerated version because he's Australian. So he's Australian doing British, doing posh British kind of thing, you know? Yeah.
00:32:37
Speaker
But I just love his whole thing because he's just like, you'll be he's like well, and Andy Warhol taught us that all art is high art. And then he's just making him. And he's like, so in this first scene, you're going to be gang raped by four monsters.
00:32:49
Speaker
She just laughs and he goes, oh. ah oh oh oh vi vivacious aren't we that's not what they look like oh i love that it's not how it happens that yeah that's she says the werewolf on set that's not what they look like and then they go to the movie right now and she's the transformation is happening which is cool it's cheap as fuck and it doesn't look nearly as good as cinema yeah Like it doesn't, you know, i think of a werewolf transformation. I think of American werewolf in London.
00:33:17
Speaker
Sure. Which is just top. not The absolute top notch peak like werewolf transformation. Yeah. Yeah. Still. But that's like Rick Baker. This is like this is this is Ricky Baker doing some special effects down under.
00:33:30
Speaker
But like it looks so cool with the bubbling on the face. And then the yeah the face starts stretching out. And you can see the makeup they have around the eyes for the application, like tearing as the mouthpiece is coming out. But but then it also made it kind of look like his flesh was tearing. Yeah.
00:33:45
Speaker
You also have this chick from very clearly Melbourne or something is doing her Melbourne accent. Melbourne. And get a away from me.
00:33:56
Speaker
call the police. Get away from me. But she's not moving. She's just like, oh, it's horrifying. I'm going to flee out of here in any second it now soon as my legs start working again.
00:34:09
Speaker
Yep. What are you doing? What are you doing? What's all them bubbles on your face? What are you doing? Oh, I bet pimple doctor pimple popper. I'd love to be in here. Give me some. so i well know Well, when your boat tells him that's not how it happens, he's like, oh, yeah, how does it happen? She's like, I'll show you later.
00:34:29
Speaker
Yep. ah Question. So many questions. Dude, just the nonchalantness of the people in this.
00:34:42
Speaker
Especially Donnie and Beckmeyer is just like it's so funny because he's just like like when he finds out she's a werewolf, he's just like, oh, but I love you, so it's okay. yeah It's just so weird. Even before he finds out she's a werewolf, they have the sweatiest sex right now.
00:34:58
Speaker
Oh my God. It's like puddles of my note says wet in bed. all it says is wet in bed. Yeah, it is dripping sweat. But anyway, after they have sex again, he kind of, you know, does the thing like, never saw my date with the lights on. Nice.
00:35:14
Speaker
But she's super, super beyond Harry, which is some guys like that. She has a pocket. She has a Joey pouch. Well, at this point, it's like it's almost looks like a's so set it's almost just a scar.
00:35:28
Speaker
I feel like maybe it's not always there because then when they show it the next time, it's more open. Yeah. But like maybe it's starting to appear because she's pregnant. Yeah. because impregnated her yeah but also like i told whitney like obviously they had sex and maybe that's why they're sweaty but i was like maybe it's just because it's australia oh no she's they filmed this shit and i know but like maybe it's just because it's australia that's why they're so sweaty they filmed in december or whatever their hottest month is down there and this this fucking apartment they were using didn't have air conditioning because because When they cut to them I mean i was like did they just get out of the shower Like I have never seen such wet person You got some little Australian dude With a fucking spritzing bottle a water bottle spray over there Just fucking tell me when to fucking drench them Goldem Have you ever watched Goldem Have you ever Have you ever watched Just sigh when Goldem Have you ever watched Quantum Leap Yeah
00:36:26
Speaker
Okay, so any episode where they're in the south, everybody is just soaking wet all the time because they filmed it on location. and it's That's all I could think of.
00:36:38
Speaker
That's all I could think of. was like one where, ah what's his name?
Sweaty Scenes and Filming Conditions
00:36:42
Speaker
Got him. the The actor guy whose name I can't think of right now. I love the guy, but anyway, Quantum Leap guy.
00:36:50
Speaker
Oh, no. It's Dean. I heard Dean Stanton. Stanwell. Stockwell. Dean Stockwell. Not Dean Stockwell, the main, the jump. Oh, Scott Bakula. Scott Bakula. Bakula. just Got We've got to ah like we got a snake on the podcast. But apparently we just have an Australian with a spray bottle.
00:37:10
Speaker
Sneaky, sneaky, snake. Spray. Scott Bakula. Spray. Got him Scott Bakula was playing like a southern lawyer or some shit. I don't know if you remember this episode, of Whitney, because the whole time all we were commenting about was how wet he was through the whole thing. Just wearing white, like a white suit. Like the little pants that I was wearing yesterday. Got him.
00:37:31
Speaker
Got him. Got him. You just tell me when to stop drenching Scott Baculica. He look good, sweaty anyways. Got him. She does teach us, too, that the moon doesn't change werewolves. and He's like, how would you know that? She's like, because I'm a werewolf.
00:37:47
Speaker
I think I told you in the theater I'm a were-thing. Pretty sure I've said multiple times that I'm a werewolf. We do find out from Thilo that it's like they can just do it if they want to.
00:37:59
Speaker
But also ah flashing lights, we definitely see that. that Seems like horniness. Horniness. horniness might undo it. No, I think getting fucked. I think being horny, bad.
00:38:12
Speaker
Getting fucked, good. Yeah. I mean, that's that's true for life. Being horny, bad. Getting fucked, good.
00:38:30
Speaker
Geeks with Beards. Do you like action? How about a little comedy? Join the Geeks with Beards podcast when I ask the question, why do people like Magneto?
00:38:41
Speaker
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00:38:52
Speaker
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00:39:09
Speaker
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00:39:20
Speaker
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00:39:36
Speaker
It is a beautiful thing. So check out patrion.com slash worst people help support this crazy endeavor. Thank you. Thank you. So there's a party, an after party, because apparently this scene of her being choked by a werewolf was the last shot of the movie.
00:39:51
Speaker
Her scream is fantastic. It's so unceremonial, though. like We've seen wrap-ups on movies and shows like behind the scenes. This guy's like, all right, that's a wrap. Come my party. Wear something sexy. See you there. I'm going have a spray, guys. Every time you come in, just go to him.
00:40:05
Speaker
And Whitney commented on the scream while we were watching in just now, and I think... I feel like they hired her. like they did They were like, we're making a horror movie. So they had the casting and it was like, you know, girls screaming because you have to get a good scream.
00:40:17
Speaker
Yeah. And then they didn't end up using like they were like, oh, actually, this character isn't going to be screaming in this movie. So they were like, well, we got to use that scream. That scream was fucking awesome. Yeah, because it's a good horror movie scream. And I do. I love the like outtake format of it, though. It's like take one, take two and then take three. The guy goes to choke her and she starts laughing and she's like, no, no, we have to start. Sorry, sorry.
00:40:38
Speaker
I think it's real. It's not how it's done. Me being choked by me being choked by a wolf man. It's very funny to me. You don't know why it's funny. You weren't at my first quinceanera. You only get one.
00:40:49
Speaker
My first quinceanera. And then all of a sudden this turns into a fucking prodigy music video. um yeah but um brown Wet my bitch up. Spray my bitch up. got um
00:41:04
Speaker
There's all this like fisheye lens, which I guess is just her point of view. Yeah, I think it's the like and throw point of view because it does it with the beastie coming out. Yeah, because she's one around this party and ah the the contacts they use are really good. Yeah, like the makeup, the the transformations in the makeup is fun.
00:41:23
Speaker
It's not good. by any stretch of the imagination, but it's really fun. But the eyes, the contacts are awesome. She's walking through this party, like, so she gets all, she starts changing because of the flashing lights.
00:41:34
Speaker
She tries to fuck dude. He can't perform because he's nervous or whatever. So she runs out of the party. Sorry, babe, I did so much cocaine. I didn't know you were going want to do this right now. like Right here right now in front of everybody? Yes!
00:41:46
Speaker
It's like a windsock down there. you ever try Babe, all I'm saying is you ever tried to push a chain up a hill? That's where we're at right now. You're trying to put a chain up a hill. chain a hill? A chain. Oh. Have you ever tried unlocking your door with mashed potatoes?
00:41:59
Speaker
I think we did this bit before. and But I was just thinking when she's leaving. You ever tried to sword fight with a fruit roll up, babe? Yeah. I do. Red vines.
00:42:11
Speaker
red vi The director is like looking at her and all this stuff and they show her face and it looks like she just did a bunch of hallucinogens or something. Or maybe she's did too much coke because like a lot of times it's slitted eyes.
00:42:22
Speaker
But in the party when she's running out, her pupils are like almost the size of her. I'm like Sheila. She family stash. Are those contacts or did they just like they gave her the the dilation drops?
00:42:35
Speaker
Because Olga has similar ones. So when she when Jaroba is mid change, like she's trying to fight it. It's just these big green giant wolf eyes, just big circles.
00:42:46
Speaker
And then when she changes, it goes. She's got wolfy eyes. Love that She has a baby between her thighs. and also so Oh, do we watch her give birth right now?
00:42:58
Speaker
Not yet. Almost. I was eating. Eating. Jerboa runs back home. Well, see she gets out of there. podcast Oh, no, the nuns take her.
00:43:09
Speaker
Well, just she runs out of there. Donnie chases her down. The nuns go and start killing people at the party, which we don't see, which is disappointing. Which that is. but You know what? Here's a small budget.
00:43:20
Speaker
Sorry, go ahead. I said the director was just very happy with that. Oh, because he thought they had great makeup. It's the scene that's in our background here. But I think so we have no budget, so we're not going to show him slashing. Start throwing spritzes of blood and body parts out the door.
00:43:33
Speaker
Like as people are running, just like have a fucking dummy arm come out. Love that. I kind of appreciate i even like holding an arm. I kind of appreciated them going in and then everybody just funneling out of the party.
00:43:44
Speaker
And I had a false memory. I don't know what I just watched recently where this happened. But I had a false memory of people just running out and running out and running out over and over and over. There was something I was watching where that's what they were doing. They were running out and then then they would go back around to the back of the set and then run back out again. It might be something we talked about, but it was That's what I was waiting for. I was like, oh, this is where they just keep running out, but they don't.
00:44:07
Speaker
The EMTs find Jerboa. Presumably she got hit by a car or something. So then she has to go to the hospital. Yeah, could but her her metabolism is all over the place. So whatever, a normal person would be dead. She might be pregnant.
00:44:21
Speaker
They find her pouch. And I love the one guy's like, ah seal off the hospital. She might be an alien.
00:44:28
Speaker
They came to our earth to pickpocket some of our trinkets and put it in their little pouches.
00:44:35
Speaker
Yeah, they do find out she's pregnant. She has a creepy or a nightmare about the the birth, but it's like instead of this little adorable mouse thing that comes out of her, which is a weird why alien. It's it's yeah it's like the fly. It's it's it's almost like the chestburster, except for it's a human head.
00:44:53
Speaker
Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Very disturbing. Or like a or like a gray, like the the stereotypical alien. Yeah. like Just see the signs.
00:45:05
Speaker
Or that. my god Yeah, that's extra three. Like, looks like a piece of turd with personality. Turd-sonality. The nuns do go attack the hospital. They kill all the guards and stuff, and they take Jerboa.
00:45:21
Speaker
And I love that they're just taking her on a bus. yeah No one's going to question the fucking nuns. She doesn't fight back for a while. I guess she knows like this is who can help me with giving birth to my mutant baby. Yep.
00:45:34
Speaker
Not a mutant. I mean, I mean, it is not to them. ah Well, this might be it's half yeah human, half lycanthrope. Oh, so it's only one quarter lycanthrope.
00:45:46
Speaker
Yeah. So it's not enough to get like the benefits from the government or anything.
00:45:52
Speaker
I think eighth. if You can go up to an or down to an eighth. Oh, okay. so if i if I'm down to an eighth, I just order more weed. That's not enough weed. For you, understandable. I like Beckmeyer and what the fuck the guy's name was? Sharp.
00:46:10
Speaker
Sharp. Birkenstock and Sharp. Birkenstock and Sharp are giving are questioning Tani. And I like It's like, did you have sex with her? And he's like, And was it normal? And he's like, can I go? Come on, guys.
00:46:21
Speaker
You aren't making creepy enough. He's like, did you have sex with her? Yeah. Was it normal? Was it hot? Was it wet? yeah Was the anatomy the right way?
00:46:32
Speaker
Got him. I was just waiting for him when he said, was it normal for him to be like, think it was from, it was all doggy style.
00:46:41
Speaker
I mean, I didn't fuck her in her belly button or anything. We didn't involve like me doggy style. We didn't involve like poop or anything. I don't know what you mean by is it normal? Define. Yeah. Define normal for you. I mean, we well we're hanging from the ceiling. That's normal. When me and the missus are feeling romantic, we hang a sheet in the middle of the room. and i cut a hole in it and I put my penis through it. too That way we don't have to look at each other.
00:47:07
Speaker
so That's why it's called a glory hole, because it's for the glory of God. There you go. Because you're not making eye contact or something. Did you not know that? i don't know. Some Mormon shit. No, I did not.
00:47:20
Speaker
I do not. I not. You know what the glory hole has in common with the ah police hotline? No. They both accept anonymous tips. That is correct.
00:47:32
Speaker
Fantastic. Um... And then we cut to the second movie about 45 minutes or an hour into this movie with the ballerina, Olga, played by Dagmar Blahova.
00:47:46
Speaker
So maybe she is fucking Russian. Dude, no, there's no other fucking nation naming pretty women Dagmar. Well, and i because I told Whitney, I was like, I think she's Australian because I know we're from another movie called Sons of Steel, which is Australian movie. She Dagmar might be an Australian a name too.
00:48:04
Speaker
but Blahova Blahova. Because her Russian accent sounds... say it that way. Dagmar Blahova. It just sounds like you're slurring somebody. Listen to you, Dagmar Blahova.
00:48:17
Speaker
You're eating little bit cross with me. What's the comedian that's friends with Bert Kreischer?
00:48:24
Speaker
Don't plan him now. We saw him. Quick trick question. Bert Kreischer doesn't have friends. He's got drinking buddies. Tom Segura. Hey, are you Japanese? Tom Segura.
00:48:36
Speaker
Your name sounds Japanese only because you say it like that. Sagura. Yeah. See, if you say it like that, it's Sagura. I'm a Mexican. Look up the history the name Dagmar so I can look work on that later tonight.
00:48:49
Speaker
But like she's the ballerina that we heard about earlier. She's like, I don't think I should dance tonight. I feel weird. And she's getting all horned up over this 4chan meme. Mikkel is like sniffing her.
00:49:00
Speaker
Wow, you know his name? Scandinavian. Scandinavian. michel Oh, Scandinavian Dagmar. All right, that makes sense. Dagmar. That's when he does the awesome like.
00:49:13
Speaker
Dude, this guy is so weird. She's like, you don't understand why I'm getting all horned up for this. And he's just eyebrows and forehead are just going. I can't even possibly do it. He's probably getting her hormones like, well, great. Now I'm all horned up.
00:49:26
Speaker
but you want to fuck the alpha guy. You're not going to sex with me. You're going to go over there with a shaved down wooly willy. Also, think they were siblings. He's like an opera singer. think so? Yeah. Like we cut to this and he's just like, mom momy oh mama Mama mia. That was the best thing.
00:49:43
Speaker
hows the street american american your fourtv refer to me But she goes out to do the opera starring the fucking Swedish chef.
00:49:57
Speaker
Wasn't that in Muppets? Take Manhattan or some shit? Probably. I don't know. I got to go check it out. I'll be right back. She goes out for her rehearsal, starts dancing.
00:50:08
Speaker
i don't know if it's the lights or the horniness or what, but as she's like hero wedding. Because she is just horned from the floor up to the tore up. Yeah. The lights keep flashing.
00:50:20
Speaker
And like while she's, I like this transformation. It's like a Wonder Woman, like the old Wonder Woman television show where she would just spin around and then they would cut to her in the costume. Who's that? Linda Carter?
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's that, but with a werewolf instead of Wonder Woman. I just, I really like a werewolf in ah in a tutu. So yeah, I'm having a good time at this point. Show off those gams, baby.
00:50:43
Speaker
i mean, Derek said it when we were on our text thread that this is a caveats movie. It just happened to fall in a day that I'm not drinking. Otherwise this would have been probably a more lunatic style recording for us. Cause we would have been eight beers deep.
00:50:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing. is it's It's a caveats movie, but I'm going to spoil mine here. and so You can also watch it sober, as long as you have the right kind of mind. We did. Yeah. Yeah. And I do. Or the wrong kind of mind, I guess, would be the.
00:51:11
Speaker
I thought about that, though, because it's like thinking about my recommendation, which I'm not going to spoil. But I was thinking about, like, if you are of the mind of Derek and the other people that love these, it's a great movie. But if you're not in that mind, I don't think you'll ever change your mind. Right.
00:51:26
Speaker
Like, if you've never enjoyed these these action movies. But there's other ones that I really fucking love. I mean, Connection is there's not this movie. It's so much better than this movie. It's trash.
00:51:38
Speaker
I mean, it has it has a two point four. You're throwing away diamonds. Derek, go check your trash right now. She probably put money in there. doesn't know what trash is. It has a two point four on Letterboxd.
00:51:49
Speaker
I gave it a two point five. But people I follow on there gave it anywhere from a half a star to four stars. Yeah. Makes sense. No, sakes no this. sense Oh, this gets all the stars.
00:52:03
Speaker
um So she like she maybe kills some people. I don't know. We cut to her in the hospital. That's all I know. Because Beckmeyer and his buddy were there. inna say she killed a couple of people.
00:52:16
Speaker
Yeah, because for some reason Beckmeyer and his friend were there because his friend had tickets to see her dance. The choreographer invited him. Yeah, that's what it was. When Birkenstock and Shark are walking. That's right. When they're walking, Mr. Birkenstock and the shark. Oh, think of a shark wearing sandals. Makes me laugh.
00:52:37
Speaker
Funny. Ha ha. Ha ha. Birkenstock and the shark is like a ah knockoff of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro. Yeah. Hey, we got to get out of here, Birkenstock. Play it cool, dude. We're on our way. I'd watch that.
00:52:54
Speaker
You know we can't sit still. We can't stay in one place. We got Sam. The shark's got to keep on moving, man. Who's playing shark? If we got if we got Sam Elliott playing Birkenstock.
00:53:05
Speaker
Joey Pants. Oh. Woody Harrelson. The shark's gotta fucking move. A shark's gotta keep on going, you know that? You sit there, you take the fucking time. Always gotta be moving. I a shark over here. That's why I'm losing my hair. That's why I said Woody Harrelson.
00:53:18
Speaker
but He's too stoned to move that much. Nick Cage. He could be Birkenstock. Nick Cage and Sam Elliott, I'd watch that movie, whatever it is. All day. fucking day. I am the greatest.
00:53:29
Speaker
yeah I am the shark. I have to keep going. Keanu Reeves. I and am a were shark. Swim the fuck down.
00:53:47
Speaker
Or Whitney ended up going to Keanu Reeves because of that. And it's him just being like, they're just werewolves. They were wolves. They were just wolves.
00:53:57
Speaker
They're not werewolves. They were just wolves. Keanu Reeves would play Donnie boy. um Yeah. But yeah, so she's in the hospital. They get attacked by a werewolf there. It's the guy, the the opera singer.
00:54:10
Speaker
He dead. um And then my favorite moment of the entire movie. Wasn't even a silver bullet. That's all. It's all movie stuff. And that's what this movie is showing you. It's like, no, no, no. We can get killed by guns.
00:54:22
Speaker
We don't need a fucking moon. But my favorite me moment of this movie and a scene that will be nominated for the Giuseppi's this year. Okay. Okay. Oh, I already know. She breaks loose and tosses one of these dudes out of the window of this fucking hospital.
00:54:40
Speaker
And this dummy, they show this dummy fall. 30 maybe 40 flights or floors like and it's it's not like a quick usually when you get a dummy falling out of a building they try to cut away so it doesn't look so fake nope this is a long shot of just this dummy just stiff dummy just like a little red food coloring in the spray bottle got him that's the blood that's blood spray right there got him Oh, God, that dummy is awesome. That was fantastic. I almost wanted him to remind it. I always think of you guys when I see a dummy. like just Especially one that is so clearly floating gingerly down to the ground.
00:55:17
Speaker
Yeah. Well, and what sells it it makes it even better is they cut to ah Sharp and Beckmeyer in their car and this song starts playing that's like something, something, they all fall down. Yeah.
00:55:29
Speaker
yeah The subtitle said that it was reggae. I don't think was. ears didn't think so.
00:55:37
Speaker
Australians don't know reggae. and I love they're like going past this cop who stops them for some reason. They're like, ah there's marsupial werewolves. And he's like, are those related to the float flying kangaroos?
00:55:50
Speaker
Yep, the biggest worm bait's got them fucking big old wings. Is that related to a drop bear? You know, ones that fucking jump on you. So we we go to Flo. Finally, we meet Kindu? Kindi. Excuse me, Flo.
00:56:06
Speaker
What's the soup du jour? Soup of the day, sir. That sounds good. I'll have that. Got him.
00:56:16
Speaker
ah We meet Kendi and then some other fucking crazy dude. who I like Kendi's outfit because he's in like a suit. He's very Miami Vice in Australia. I also like that he scares everybody.
00:56:29
Speaker
Like he jumps up behind people and scares them. I scared those other soldiers that fucking bloody almost shot me. Well, even later when they stop scaring people, then when he finds Jerboa and Donnie in the in the in the bush out there and he's like, just comes out and he's just like, but she's like, you've got to stop doing that.
00:56:47
Speaker
Since my childhood you've been doing this. He's testing her though, dude. It's like the Hulk. You got to keep that shit in check. So I'm going to jump out and scare you. If you turn into a wolf, I'm to spray you like a bad dog.
00:56:58
Speaker
Got him. Jerboa goes and gives birth. We talked about that a little She goes the manger. Much like Yep. yep But she she squeezes out this little mouse in latex.
00:57:11
Speaker
And then, like, there's the the scene where it climbs into or the shot where it climbs into her pouch. Yeah. And they couldn't get the mouse to do it because it was like, i'm not climbing in that thing. So they put the mouse in there, filmed him crawling out, and then just reversed it.
00:57:24
Speaker
The director was talking about it in the behind the scenes because they like he wouldn't climb in. wow We covered him in latex and tried to put him in a hole and he didn't like it for some reason. Somehow we lost his trust.
00:57:36
Speaker
But yeah, like cra this thing is kind of adorable, even though it's a monster. I was like, aww. I thought about Whitney, especially as we see the aging of this monstrosity, that i was like, ah, Whitney's probably looking like, it's got a cute little butt.
00:57:52
Speaker
Especially when it's a butt shot when it first starts to sprout a little nubbin of a tail. You mean you mean the last 10 minutes of this movie it takes place over 23 years? Yeah. you what talking about? Not right.
00:58:04
Speaker
I know. I couldn't believe it I was like, because I kept waiting for just the camera to turn off be like, that's it. they They live in the Outback now. Yeah, it was like five endings. Yeah, this movie has more endings than Return of the King. I've oftentin asked i've often asked if parents know that they have ugly children.
00:58:20
Speaker
I don't know, but at some point you do. I think once your kid's past the teens, you're like, ugh, kid never got any prettier. I'll go. I'm so fortunate. Like, Donnie doesn't care because he shows up and a little bit here.
00:58:34
Speaker
And he's just like and he's like, oh, look at this adorable little fucking monster. it's back He's from Australia. they're all Like the guy said earlier, it's full of freaks. Yeah. But he is very shalotless.
00:58:46
Speaker
Shalantless, yes. Like, he is just like, that the little freak our baby? Yeah, I'm gonna love it. Yeah. mom me Let me teach you how to play a little bit of fucking, what, they don't play baby, cricket.
00:58:58
Speaker
Play little rugby, little footy. I want to play some. ru I want to watch some fucking bees and play some footy. Sounds like a day. Oh, speaking of having some beers, I do ah remember a line from earlier. Was it sharp?
00:59:13
Speaker
Somebody who? Oh, yeah, it was sharp because he's like Beck Myers, tell him how there's werewolves in Russia and Australia. And he's like, Russia. he's And he's saying, I don't believe it. And he's like, well, they do drink a lot of vodka up there and a lot of beer down here. Yeah.
00:59:26
Speaker
So. That's the correlation. So by that logic, do we have wolves in Ireland, too? Yeah. Yeah. It's snakes. We find out later they're also in China.
00:59:37
Speaker
They're where snakes. They're also in China. Oh, you mean like ah ah James Earl Jones and Conan the Barbarian? That's exactly what Halloween three. ah he turns into a giant snake, man.
00:59:51
Speaker
Oh, no snakes in Ireland. St. Patrick saw to that apparently. i Yeah, they were snakes, not fucking. Druids. Druids. There That's what was trying to think of.
01:00:02
Speaker
kept thinking Protestants and I was like, well, that's a Catholic thing to say. Yeah. Get rid of all the Protestants.
01:00:11
Speaker
But the military is going to hunt down the werewolves. They do snag the alpha guy, Thilo. um And the Russian, like the Russian ballerina got to flow.
01:00:22
Speaker
And then now she's back at the hospital again. Like apparently they took all of, but it's, well, it's at least those two. They, cause they have them tied up and they keep asking them questions and doing shit.
01:00:34
Speaker
They're the, with drugs, by the way, sign me the fuck up. Um, there's cutting ahead when they, says when he just, uh, Birkenstock helps him escape. They're like, you're gonna help everybody else too. he's like, I'll see what I can do.
01:00:45
Speaker
Like they were all, and he even says, like, they're going to kill all of them. There's one scene I think we got like a Guantanamo Bay going in here. okay there's one scene where she hypnotized. Olga is and she does your wink.
01:00:59
Speaker
Oh, does she? She does the wink, but then it turns out she's actually just like seizuring or something. Because I think it's right here because she's talking about like, I'm part human, part wolf. I'm a lycanthrope, whatever, whatever. It's always been that way. And she does like the close the one eye without moving any muscles, but then it stays down and she starts like vibrating.
01:01:17
Speaker
Yeah. a Part ballerina, part wolf, part Russian. But I'm super serial. Oh, that's what that John Wick movie, The Ballerina, is about, right? Oh, thank God. oh I might actually see it now.
01:01:31
Speaker
um yeah They question her. They question Thilo. I love Thilo's performance here. Thilo's great. Because he's high on whatever drugs they gave him, he's just laughing at everything. And he's like, oh, it was written in the stars. And they're like, what would the stars say? They said I'm going to get laid by a foreigner.
01:01:51
Speaker
Even when he first sees the camera, he's like, what's that? And he starts like checking himself out, doing little faces and shit. He's like, i am not bad looking. not saying what I'm saying. Damn, I've never seen me outside of a reflection of my face in a pond.
01:02:05
Speaker
ah look really good without Wavy Ripples. Ooh, Wavy Ripples would be a great porn star name. I was just going to call it The Dibs. The Dibs are my sex title. That's just the lead singer of like a weird prog rock band.
01:02:19
Speaker
Dibs.
01:02:22
Speaker
On stage, welcome everyone, Wavy Ripples. Oi, I'm right, Wavy Ripples, I am. hello also He was also a newsie apparently.
01:02:35
Speaker
Roy, I'm a fucking newsie. And also, I'm not sweating enough. Can you get me? Got him. That guy's traveling, man. I'm saying, like he his spray work is so good that bands were hiring him to spritz them.
01:02:49
Speaker
Yeah. If Patreon wants to help pay for him, I will get him to America and he can spritz me and you at work. and Ooh. Like that.
01:02:59
Speaker
He'll want to get out of there anyway. We're name this guy eventually. He's going to have to keep filling it up with cold water, though. don't spritzed with warm water. Oh, no, no, no. Trust me. When you are working with a professional like Spritzer McFister, he is always going to have that water chilled.
01:03:14
Speaker
Crokey, I'm Spritzer McFister. Double-willed stainless steel.
01:03:21
Speaker
Got me Stanley cup here. It's all fucking thermified. There you go.
01:03:28
Speaker
but so But so Brick Brick and Ridge or whatever we we're calling him ah does. He strobes Thilo to make him transform. And I love that he's like screaming from the pain of transforming, but also still just laughing maniacally. Yeah.
Action and Crisis in 'Howling 3'
01:03:42
Speaker
Like in the middle of howling and screaming. He's also giggling. Yeah. He's sucking up power too.
01:03:48
Speaker
ah Why did he wait so long? Why did Birkenstock wait so long to ask Shark for the gun? You get the tranquilizer gun before you turn on the strobe light. Thank You have a yeah team of people with trank guns standing ready.
01:04:00
Speaker
Please. You are correct, sir. And he's pushing way too hard. Just like, you know it's going to happen. Yeah. he doesn't end up getting turned at all, does he? No. No.
01:04:12
Speaker
He gets bit, and it's and it's just like everything else. the No silver bullets, the moon, all that stuff. He said you have to, like, bodily fluids. Well, no, he says, because ah Sharp is like, well, how do you know you're not one now? And he's like, it can't be that easy. Just swapping bodily fluids?
01:04:30
Speaker
But the one dude, the one of the what's my name of the Omegas. um He starts changing, but he gets a whole chunk taken out. I don't know if he's changing. I don't think that that's not cheap.
01:04:43
Speaker
One of the Omegas. Yeah, no, that's not him.
Accuracy of Werewolf Lore
01:04:46
Speaker
He know the Omega gets bit by the skeleton bones, the one the one that the one that gets bit by the skeleton and then they're at camp. Yeah. No, the one that attacks the the tent is the alpha dude because he did the ritual.
01:04:57
Speaker
Right, right, right. But what Whitney's saying is the guy that's in the tent with his neck bandaged is the one that got bit. He's not turning, though. I don't think he's turning. I think he's just in rough shape. He's just hurt from getting bitten by a skeleton.
01:05:09
Speaker
I think this this movie goes out of its way to to put down some real definitive werewolf lore. But okay we do learn a little bit more here. they They decided they're like, well, you're like over an hour into this movie and it's almost over. Let's give you something.
01:05:24
Speaker
So Thilo, when he transforms, has these stripes on his back markings like a Tasmanian wolf. They're the only carnivore marsupial, I think they said. Yep. And they're extinct.
01:05:35
Speaker
And don't worry, guys, there will be a picture.
Tasmanian Wolf and Extinction Debates
01:05:38
Speaker
with our social media stuff, and I'll probably put it into this video too. I want to say- This thing is terrifying. I want to say that in recent news that they may have found a couple lurking, which would be great.
01:05:49
Speaker
Because this has to be at least mostly true, what they're talking about. Like, they were people were hunting them. Well, yeah, that they became extinct in 1910. I was going say, don't know if the Pope came out and called them manifestations of Satan, but I also wouldn't be shocked if he told me he did.
01:06:03
Speaker
Well, I mean, the first part, though, is probably true. Like they were there and people were hunting them. And it's a Tasmanian wolf. Tasmania is a small island off the coast of Australia. Yeah. So it's like it's like hunting dodos or whatever. you know what mean? It's easier to make a thing go extinct when it only exists on one, you know, however many hundreds of square miles, if that.
01:06:24
Speaker
Yeah, you're not wrong. This is when Thilo, like after they tranquilize him and he kind of wakes back up. He's like, we were born from him. He's the phantom. I was born from him. His spirit came into us. You adapted to the phantom.
01:06:38
Speaker
Oh, I'm terrible at trying to get the same thing. He'll post a picture. I'll put it up because even the picture you have there is like, that's just like a Tasmanian wolf. That looks kind of cool. It's when they open their mouth that I'm like, mm-mm.
01:06:49
Speaker
Those things need to be gone. i up and now One four-year-old or two two-year-olds. I want to pet the dog. It could eat hey can eat twin two-year-olds.
01:07:00
Speaker
It could eat early-stage pregnant mother that has twins. um I believe they did a movie about this, and ah we shouldn't do it, but it says de-extinction. Scientists are planning the multi-million dollar resurrection of the Tasmanian tiger.
01:07:15
Speaker
De-extinction? I'm all for de-extinction. De-extinction is the name of a fucking horror movie in the vein of Congo. you're bringing something back to existence. Yeah, we saw that. It was called Jurassic Park. Don't do it.
01:07:27
Speaker
No, I fully disagree.
01:07:31
Speaker
If we can't control them, they deserve to overrun us. If God wanted them here, then God would have kept them alive. Except for the worst parasite on the world,
01:07:42
Speaker
aka humans. God wanted us here. We're in his his ah visage. We are God. Got him.
Omega Team's Effectiveness
01:07:53
Speaker
and But yeah, they go to this whole thing about like how the the whole military of the whole world was trying to hunt these things down because the Pope said they were so manifestations from Satan or whatever. um Sorry, got it wrong. It was They in fact are not manifestations of the devil. Sorry, I read the prophecy wrong. we We are in fact manifestations of Satan.
01:08:16
Speaker
So he he breaks out Olga and Thilo. The government is like, we're going to send this Omega team after him. Omega? The Omega. The Omega team. I'll take vitamins from the Omega acids.
01:08:29
Speaker
I just love that it's like the Omega team is supposed to be like this big. It's it's the end. It's this big, scary thing. And it's just two dudes. Yeah. Well, they're highly trained two dudes. Well, highly trained enough to fight a skeleton.
01:08:42
Speaker
They didn't get trained. Okay, how many U.S. s soldiers you think of it trained to fight skeletons? One out of 100 tops. Well, the Omega team should have been. Why? Why the Omega team? Because they're for the Omega, the end.
01:08:53
Speaker
They didn't know the Omega's were a bunch of fucking werewolves with skeletons that still bite you when they did. They thought it was like just some bloke with a fucking rifle. That's what I thought was fighting off days. Couple of fucking farmers with a rifle.
01:09:05
Speaker
Turns out skeletons, ghosts, werewolves, not good. I did love that, the skeleton. Oh, love the skeleton. Love the skeleton. Dude, that was awesome. That's the best part of special effects. That was supposed to be kindy, right?
01:09:17
Speaker
Yeah. Oh yeah. We are going now to where I recognize people. There are two hunters in this group that have a couple speaking roles. yeah One's the real short guy that's like, I'll give you a 50 bucks.
01:09:31
Speaker
And then the big guy that's like, that's it. I'm out. How do you know them? I don't know how I knew the shorter guy. Crocodile Dundee, Crocodile Dundee 2, and Crocodile Dundee 3.
01:09:43
Speaker
Okay, then. Okay. so the So they have a better, ah what's his name? The little guy's got a name like Speck or something like that, but the other guy's name is, oh, fuck, what are their goddamn names? I don't need a gun.
Crocodile Dundee Movie Reflection
01:09:56
Speaker
I've got a donk. He's like, a what? A donk. That's what is. Donk is the big guy. And Crocodile D2, he's sitting there drinking a beer, and somebody comes up. He's like, what are you doing out here with a gun? I don't need a gun.
01:10:07
Speaker
I've got a donk. He's like, what? Turns around into that big guy and he punched him. A donk. I remember that scene. The big is a very famous Australian wrestler. Okay. Wow. Okay.
01:10:18
Speaker
I haven't seen either of the first two Crocodile Dundies since I was a single digit age. Oh, so you're a big three fan? Actually, no Now that I think about it, I never saw three. I bought a ticket for three, but we went and watched Freddy Got Fingered instead. I will happily watch Crocodile Dundies one or two anytime.
01:10:37
Speaker
And the third one, we got to get some extra caveats and I'm in. The third one is pure this podcast
Discussion on Supernatural Elements
01:10:44
Speaker
gold. And you get like a couple of big fat three gram caveats and fuck. Yeah. I got a whole bag of caveats with your name on it. I can do more than just one hit now.
01:10:58
Speaker
It's true. I'm going to make your life more expensive. The hunters are out there looking for Donnie Jarboa and their mutant baby.
01:11:09
Speaker
ah Kendi finds them like we talked about. He warns them. butty believe Sorry to my blood. Sorry.
01:11:17
Speaker
And he also tells them about his dream that the Phantom is coming to kill. And it's like so they say something at some point about like sometimes the Phantom helps us. Sometimes he doesn't. And of course, on his eye I don't believe in ghosts like people are dying today.
01:11:31
Speaker
Could be yours. Could be mine. Donnie says, um because she tells him like a man, a man had a child with a wolf and that's what made the original Phantom and that's where we come from or whatever.
01:11:43
Speaker
And he's like, a man can't have children with a wolf. And I'm like, look at your baby. like The shalantlessness of this is ridiculous. Well, a wet rat had sex with a duck and that's how you have the platypus.
01:11:55
Speaker
Oh God. I like that. She said, I like that. She says a wet rat, um, what settled down with or made a wife oven ah of ah a duck or something along those lines.
01:12:07
Speaker
it's ah It's even better than had sex with. It's like, oh, well, I made a wife of a duck and that's how you get
Movie 'Legend' and Its Visuals
01:12:14
Speaker
a platypus. And I'm like, what? good good good so But a unicorn doesn't exist.
01:12:23
Speaker
Look, I just recently watched Legend for the first time in a long time. Those things don't need to exist. I had to sleep. ah you were You didn't watch? I've watched the beginning part of it.
01:12:35
Speaker
You have some beautiful 4K of it? ah Blu-ray. I'm going to ask him if he wants to watch again. I'll watch it again. I'll watch the other version. so There's two versions. I watched the director's cut, which has like an orchestral score. and Then there's the theatrical cut, which has the score by Tangerine Dream. Tangerine Dream.
01:12:59
Speaker
And I really want to see that movie with the score. But I've seen it with it, but I just don't remember it. I want to see it with the score by Tangerine Dream because that seems like it'll fit a lot better than the orchestral score. OK, but just fucking weird shit happening on screen.
Kendi's Transformation and Battle
01:13:12
Speaker
That's a weird fucking movie. It is some dynamite. What's her name? matt Migs. What the fuck's the the the swamp witch? That thing is. I haven't seen it in decades, so that thing was magnificent.
01:13:26
Speaker
Anyway, I watched it a lot as a child. So Kendi goes off and he goes like, he goes down to like the, the stereotypical Aboriginal thing. He goes down to like loincloth and he paints his body because he's and he's praying to Ermoonin.
01:13:42
Speaker
Ermoonin! Enter my body! Ermoon in, Ermoon out. Ermoon out. He transforms and and like attacks all these hunters.
01:13:54
Speaker
ah They end up killing him, though, or shooting him. and him Moon steroids. It's the... That's when we have that great line Jack talked about, like, yeah because they find him dying and he's, you know, nope, just going to die. yeah i Nope, not going to do any of it.
01:14:08
Speaker
I thought of all three of us like, no, I'm i'm good, dude. I don't want to be no fucking river. i don't want to fucking rainbow. I think I'm just going to die.
01:14:17
Speaker
here's one last nip for you and a joint and it's even it's even better because it's like the delivery she's the she's like the and it's kind of what we talked about earlier where they have these these guys who are aboriginals who have the colonial accent it's the turning the things over like that because Jerboa is the one that's telling him like you're gonna be a river and a rainbow and he's just like nope gonna die like no thank you sounds bad um doesn't sound like my cuppa Fish shit in rivers.
01:14:52
Speaker
But they do they do have like a funeral pyre for him And when they leave The Omega team shows up And they find the funeral pyre And the skeleton And it's got like a wolf head he had started shifting I was certainly i was genuinely surprised That this happened
Omega Team's Confrontation
01:15:06
Speaker
Same it I very much liked it The skeleton's like And it looks really good This is Like I said a little while ago This is the best looking effect in the movie There's some Like I said Fun stuff But it all looks like shit This looks good Yeah.
01:15:21
Speaker
Yeah, because we did talk about like the transformations all look good, like fun. The finished product often looks goofy as shit, but I still am here for it. Well, he bites the one dude, and then the other dude just lights him up with this machine gun, and it's just chunks of bone and ash flying everywhere. I'm like, yeah, and that's about right.
01:15:41
Speaker
Here's what we fucking train for. Show what Amiga's all about. Boom. Goldem. And then at some point, Thilo leaves the group and he goes off and does the same ritual.
01:15:53
Speaker
Donnie's like, why do you keep staring at me? Because he's a human. Yeah. Yeah. so Well, Philo's the alpha too. I mean, yeah it could be that Donnie's human, but Philo is the alpha and Donnie acting like one and he's like, nah, it could, it could definitely be that. Cause he isn't coming after the doc and the doc is human. So that might be it.
Discussing Werewolf Behavior
01:16:10
Speaker
Yeah. Cause, cause Breckenridge Beckmeyer, Birkenstock, Birkenstock, is definitely not acting like an alpha in this group no no so and i think it also has something to do with jerboa like he he wanted to meet with her he kept trying to rape her yeah but he was so excited about having well he's still with he's with the russian yeah tylo yeah but he probably wants both yeah i was just thinking i got my own thing wrong oh my god shut the fuck up
01:16:44
Speaker
Sorry, we have werewolves in the back. um Little ones. They're young. ah Little rat with latex. But he was so excited about, you know, ah having six with a foreigner. yeah So, you know, he's he if the doctor had tried to hit on her, he might have.
01:17:02
Speaker
done something. Doctor doesn't hit on her until he leaves. yeah he knows Yeah. He knows how to beta. Because he's gone forever. But I love like he goes out and does the ritual too and he's like make me the big one. And like we go to the military camp and it's the the one guy is outside by the fire. The other dude who got bit is inside sleeping with an armory.
01:17:20
Speaker
like So many guns. Grenades like you don't you don't just lay it all out like this. yeah feel like you would Jack. I know I would but I'm not part of Omega. feel like if hurt. Well, they're they're cleaning all their guns, even though they didn't use them. They're double cleaning. It's dirty. It's dusty as fuck out there. They're in the they're in the bush, mate. They're in the bush. But I like the guy sitting out by the fire. He's like, hey, you all right back there?
01:17:43
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, you all right? No answer. You all right? i You all right?
Preparedness for Battle
01:17:49
Speaker
You all right, mate? He just keeps doing the exact same intonation and everything.
01:17:55
Speaker
And then the wolf, the big wolf burst in. is bo's yeah about a wolf This in. This might have been leftover from Razorback. Yeah, that's what I was wondering. I wonder. i wonder I didn't really go. I scrolled through the trivia, but there wasn't a lot. i just I skipped over a lot of it. I wonder if it is like a leftover from Razorback.
01:18:14
Speaker
Yeah, just modded. They just put, like, they changed the snout so it looked like a wolf-ish instead of a pig. Razorback, by the way, we're going to have talk about that one day, but... um it comes in and he's got his gun and he like, it knocks out of his hand. So he picks up the rocket launcher. Yep.
01:18:31
Speaker
And it's just this big about a boom. Kills them all. So I didn't think we were going to get it. Cause I saw the little rocket launcher it's like, Oh, it'd be cool if uses it. And he picked it up. i was like, there's no way we're gonna get this right now.
01:18:42
Speaker
We got it. is this What is this machine gun thing he's carrying that's like all centered around a frame? oh you're afraid It's just a collapsible stock.
Prop Repurposing for Scenes
01:18:51
Speaker
i It might be one of the old school scorpions, but it's just like a kind of like a Mac 10. But think of the collapsible stock.
01:18:57
Speaker
So it boxes up if you're in tight quarters. um Oh, here we go. The werewolf that sticks its head in the Omega team's tent was actually a leftover prop from Razorback 1984.
01:19:09
Speaker
Redecorated to try and resemble a werewolf rather than a boar. Dude, we're awesome. I don't have an IMDb account because I tried to click. I found this interesting, but I don't have an account, so I'm not allowed vote. get there.
01:19:21
Speaker
I'll do it for you. I'm not registered to vote on IMDb. How are you going to ticka, ticka, ticka, ticka? I'm hoping that as we say ridiculous things, I'm hoping as we say ridiculous things, some of our members or our listeners will go ticky, tick, chick, ching. I love it. Ticky, tick, cha-ching.
01:19:41
Speaker
That's actually my new IMDb name. Ticky, tick, cha-ching. So we're pretty much at the end of the movie, but we've still got like 20 minutes left because it's 20 plus years of their lives.
Future of Wolf-Human Hybrids
01:19:49
Speaker
I do like it starts with Sharp going to the president. and He's like, um I changed my mind. We shouldn't be killing. I don't know. I can't I can't switch between British and Australian. and So I'm just going to do it in my voice change my bloody mind. I don't think we should be killing. We should be fucking them.
01:20:03
Speaker
Wolf babies. The future of our country is wolf. This is not a witch hunt. But I love that he tells him, he's like, well, Beckmeyer fell in love with the Russian werewolf. And the president's like, was it female? And he goes, yeah. And he's like, oh, thank Christ for that. Yeah. Thank God. That is some American president shit right there. Look, I can have my my my citizens can fuck wolf people if it's an opposite sex.
01:20:26
Speaker
Let's not make this an abomination. As an aversion to Christ. Christ is all about you fucking a wolf girl. That is fine. Christ does not want you as a male to fuck a wolf dude.
01:20:38
Speaker
He was fucking that dog. Was it a woman? Yeah. That's fine then. Carry on. Carry on. But so like, yeah, Beck, Beck Meyer and Olga declare their love for each other. We cut to like, and this is like, there's no like titles of how many years later.
Characters' Domestic Lives
01:20:53
Speaker
no It's just like cut to, they have a house and a garden.
01:20:56
Speaker
yeah Cut to a, cut to a baby, a toddler. Yeah, um the the the mutant baby is now a normal toddler. find out his name is Zach. They have a ah baby of their own.
01:21:07
Speaker
ah Cut to Donnie and Jerboa are like, we're going to leave. We're going to back to the city. We'll get new names. That thing was huge, dude. It was freaking ball of baby.
01:21:18
Speaker
And then like... He's like, no, you can't go. It's too dangerous. Cut to they leave like, yeah, yeah hold on, though, because he's the the argument, which is so small. It's like you can't do it. He's like, yeah, we can. If we change our looks and we change our name, and we're really careful.
01:21:32
Speaker
Then cut to the future of them being there. And he's got a mustache. And she looks exactly the same. She's got curly hair. Well, she has curly hair. She doesn't look hot.
01:21:43
Speaker
She's got glasses. Like when she spoiler alert for five minutes from now, when she wins an Academy Award, all the pictures they show are just like this actresses like portfolio. Yeah.
01:21:55
Speaker
I, you know what? Now that I think about it, those pictures, she was probably a model. Yeah. She does look like she was a model. Oh, that makes sense. That's probably where they got those pictures. Cause you know, Philippe Mora made a fun movie here and he made a fun movie with the howling too.
01:22:07
Speaker
a photographer. He is not right. Right. So not just the point of this movie, the cinematography. Yeah. But yeah, it's so fucking great. We're going to change our looks. Are you playing your father now in the movie back draft? Cause all I see is you in a mustache.
Family's Aging and Evolution
01:22:23
Speaker
Nothing different. I was confused at first until they cut closer to his face. I was like, is that Beckmeyer? Because it just looks like Beckmeyer because he just has a mustache now and he's got a floppy hat. Yeah. And they're arguing. Make it more sexy. It's only sexy because I'm in it. She's burying her soul. What do you mean make it so make put more sex in it?
01:22:42
Speaker
I mean, they were fighting like a couple that's been married for 50 fucking years. They had been. ah But I like ah the way they jumped through it so quickly. The kid helps you judge the time because they have a ah baby.
01:22:53
Speaker
And then you cut to it's a little girl. And then cut to he's standing next to this girl who's an adult. And I was like, did Olga dye her hair or bleach her hair blonde? And then they changed the angle and it's their daughter. yeah She's all grown up.
01:23:05
Speaker
And that's when Sharp shows up and he's like, let me catch you up on the history. baby Yeah. Let me catch you up on on
Papal Amnesty for Lycanthropes
01:23:12
Speaker
world history. um Oh, the pope declared amnesty for lycanthropes and the president endorsed it. So you guys are good. You can go back to society. You missed out on something called Pepsi Clear while you were hiding. Are you happy now? Because it's never coming back.
01:23:26
Speaker
We find out that Jerboa and Donnie left 15 years ago. Yeah, because it's been 15 seconds for us. ah And then a son of a bitch when you're a werewolf. And then we do get a thing that says eight years later here and it's Beck Meyer teaching college again. Yeah. It's the beginning of the movie.
01:23:46
Speaker
But it's like it's like this is the future. So we have to go a little like dystopia slash utopia depending on your opinion. Yeah. Because all the students are wearing like the boys are wearing one shade of orange and the girls are wearing another shade of orange. It's like this is the future.
01:23:59
Speaker
And once he what he said and now and this is why I'm able to teach you. it was like. Guarantee you, Mutant Baby's in this room. He's one the students. And then the worst actor of the movie comes up to talk to this guy. Well, did did we get the question, like, did you ever find him? He's like, no, I really, really wish I could have found him.
01:24:15
Speaker
But maybe they'll send some really terrible actor to exposition me. It gave me goosebumps. But this kid, what the fuck?
Legacy of Jerboa and Donnie
01:24:22
Speaker
I was like, I'm the son of Jerboa and Donnie. No, just that not his acting. Just the, I was right. Oh, okay.
01:24:29
Speaker
I love that. I love his thing. Like, it's like, well, they changed their names, but you might know. I'm like, um, my mother, my mother gets enough attention without revealing. She's a marsupial human. Dude, you can't say that line in that voice.
01:24:43
Speaker
You can write this shit. You can't say this shit. Yeah. Yes, Harrison, you're correct. It ain't that kind of movie, kid. Get the fuck out of my house. Get the fuck out of my house. Watch the TV tonight. You'll see them because she's Loretta Carlson or whatever, and he's Sully Spellenberg. Fuck off. Let's just leave that. Fuck off. I love it, but I hate it.
01:25:05
Speaker
But I love these Academy.
Academy Awards Transformation
01:25:07
Speaker
It's the Academy of Laser Arts Awards. or say It flashed across the screen so quick. The future, Derek. The word laser was there. Yeah, because laser discs was going to be a thing.
01:25:17
Speaker
And that was going the best thing. And I didn't get the name of this actor, but the person playing the woman who is hosting the Oscars is definitely a dude. Yeah, but doesn't this feel like it a very familiar personality?
01:25:30
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like this is a person that like maybe people in Australia know, or maybe we should know from something. I feel like we should know, because it was a very familiar feeling to see this person. I'm scrolling through to find it real quick, but I just want to give Kendi credit, because he was like one of my favorite people. The actor's name is Burnham Burnham.
Dame Edna's Comedic Appearance
01:25:50
Speaker
but and Burn them, burn them down. He's in an Australian movie I've heard about called Dark Age. OK. And he's in a movie called Ground Zero, but nothing I recognize. Sorry, I'm scrolling through right now and he popped up. So I wanted to mention it because let's see.
01:26:04
Speaker
Ball Ball Ball. I can't. find Oh, here we go. Dame Edna Everidge, Academy Award presenter, played by Barry Humphreys. Who apparently played Great Goblin in The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey.
01:26:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah. He was Bruce in Finding Nemo. Yeah. The shark. He's Bruce. There's got to be another live action thing. Fish are friends, not food. Not food.
01:26:32
Speaker
But there's a bunch of Australian comedy stuff. Oh, here's something called Comic Relief. like ah There's like TV specials, Comic Relief. And there's one that's called Red Nose Day. And it's got a picture.
01:26:45
Speaker
um And I'm going to guarantee you that that's who that is. Yeah. You can't really see it, but it's he's dressed up like a ah woman. OK. In a the bikini with like a fake big butt and fake big thighs Looks good from this angle.
01:27:00
Speaker
Like so he's he's an actor. hmm. He was in The Hobbit, for Christ's sake. But I mean, who wasn't? Right. i mean, as a voice. But still, it's Australia, New Zealand. It's all the same.
01:27:12
Speaker
Don't tell them I said that. Yeah. Sorry anybody listening to him right now. It's not all the same. It's very different. I want to move
Abrupt Hitchcock-like Ending?
01:27:20
Speaker
to New Zealand. But it's the same region. Like if there's an Australian movie, New Zealanders are in it. If there's a New Zealand movie, Australians are in it.
01:27:28
Speaker
You know. Yeah. Kind of like Canada and Mexico for America. Yeah, exactly. um But Jerboa wins. Jerboa wins best actress. There's people taking pictures, flashbulbs.
01:27:40
Speaker
She transforms. I love that Sharp is watching and he's just laughing. Like all these people are laughing. We cut women watching. don't know why laughing. He just thinks it's funny. He's like, oh, I came back to you, motherfucker. Like, I don't know. i mean, Birkenstock is horrified as well as Olga. is Olga.
01:27:57
Speaker
But, like, you just said that it was like and throat people were accepted by society. All I could think of is that he knows that she's about to go fucking murderous rampage. He's like, yeah, witch hunt back on. I was lying the whole time. I hate you guys.
Final Thoughts on the Movie
01:28:10
Speaker
it Got you out of the house. You ruined my career.
01:28:12
Speaker
i love how it's just like, because it's been ending after ending after ending, and then it's just like, How do we end this movie? We have our fake Hitchcock say, cut. Yep.
01:28:24
Speaker
Go to black. Done. It's pretty good. Fiend. Cut. we'll go around the horn for recommendations. We'll start with my wife because she's looking antsy. She's playing with a strap on her pants. She's playing a strap on?
01:28:37
Speaker
She's playing with her strap on pants. It's wild over there. was it when When she did her strap on pants, was it normal?
01:28:47
Speaker
I mean, yeah, for me. Oh, I was from the corner of the room. Squirt. godo
01:28:57
Speaker
I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. i had my bowl of popcorn, some licorice whips, and some cherries, sugar-free soda. And I was very happy.
01:29:08
Speaker
And I was sober. So it's almost like you were in the theater, even though almost nobody else has ever seen this in a theater. Correct. The closest this has ever had to a theatrical release was Whitney fucking snacking down on your guys' big 85-inch TV. Actually, I'm pretty sure that The Loft just played this in July. They did a whole month of exploitation stuff.
Movie vs. Book Differences
01:29:29
Speaker
um i full I totally recommend this. It's a full recommend for me.
01:29:33
Speaker
love Honestly, three thumbs up, even with the terrible, terrible acting. I just had fun. And it was it was a hot fever dream. And you're just like, what the fuck is OK.
01:29:45
Speaker
So this this. All right. OK, we're here no. Now I don't know what's going on. OK. And I had a lot of fun with it. Jack, Jack. On to you, Jack. I think you should you should have fun with this. It is a ridiculous movie. um I had half my caveats, so I was drink sober, but I still really enjoyed it.
01:30:03
Speaker
The parts that I didn't enjoy that would have been better to watch with people, the shit you make fun of in between all the transformations and shit. I kind of appreciate the little bit of lore they they do where it's like all that movie stuff isn't real.
01:30:16
Speaker
But my one thing is you've got to be ready for this. You've got to be in the mood for this because this is not going to be one that changes your mind on this type of movie. But it will be that good type of movie.
01:30:27
Speaker
Or if you've never seen a movie that was like this, this should be your first one because then you're going to be like, what happening? Yeah, if somebody wants to introduce you to like ah the B-action whore kind of, ah if you want do a mystery science kind of night with your friends, this is a great one to start with.
01:30:42
Speaker
And obviously I recommend it. I bought it. I recommended it to you guys. I think it's a ton of fun. It's not a good movie. It's barely a movie, but it's just so much fun. And it's so just off the wall. And like both Jack and I said, independently of each other, I'm not sure what I just watched, but I enjoyed it.
01:30:59
Speaker
Yeah. um I do want to point out. So it started out by saying it's ah based upon the book, The Howling Three by Guy Bradner. Bradner. um Bradner. hardly knew her.
01:31:13
Speaker
It's based on that in that it's a story about werewolves. Okay. That is the extent to which it is based on that book. So just so people know, if you're like, you know, this sounded cool. I'm going read the book first.
01:31:27
Speaker
No, you can. You're not going to get the same story. But yeah, a big recommend. It's stupid and it's fun. And I mean, that's what that's what Hallow Threen Horror Fest is all about, because Hallow Threen Horror Fest will continue all month long where we're talking about all third entries in horror franchises.
01:31:46
Speaker
And next week we will have a guest with us. Ooh. Ooh. could it It'll be our friend Threesius who joined us previously for Halloween 3 and he will be here to talk about Tremors 3 Back to Perfection.
Preview of Next Episode
01:32:05
Speaker
i remember I remember this one being a real stinker and I'm ready for it. Tremors 3 is the one with the ass blasters.
01:32:16
Speaker
i They fart and fly. um They fly now? And also, similar to when we had him on Halloween 3, he has never seen Tremors movie.
01:32:28
Speaker
So we just got to keep this rolling. He can't join us for a franchise movie unless it's the third one. Correct. And I can't believe when we talked about Halloween 3 with him last November, we didn't talk nobody even mentioned the fact that he was 3CS and we were talking about Halloween 3. I had a lot going on that day, I'm sure.
01:32:44
Speaker
As I realized it when I talked to him about this, and I was like, oh, 3CS for Halothreen, for
Patreon and Merchandise Promotion
01:32:50
Speaker
Tremors 3. Wait, what did we talk about before? Fuck.
01:32:55
Speaker
But yes, we will be talking about Tremors 3, which is available. It's not free streaming anywhere right now, but it is on Amazon and Apple. $379 and $399 to rent, $1469 to you can the super sweet...
01:33:06
Speaker
to rent fourteen sixty nine to buy or you can buy the super sweetet DVD or Blu-ray set that I got. Nobody has put this out in a special edition 4K. Sorry, guys.
01:33:18
Speaker
But um there is a set of all seven movies on Blu-ray that I own. Not a flex. Are you inviting people over to watch movies?
01:33:29
Speaker
Come over. Watch a movie. We'll watch Tremors 4, 5, 6, and 7.
01:33:37
Speaker
And of course, don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people. We have a ton more content over there. There's over 50 hours of mental health episodes available at the $3 level.
01:33:48
Speaker
And this month's mental health episode is going to be a nightmare on Elm Street 3, The Dream Warriors. Ooh. Which is one of the better.
01:34:01
Speaker
When does somebody turn into a bumblebee?
01:34:06
Speaker
Because that's just like into a Camaro. That's just like branded in my brain. Bumblebee turns into a Camaro. Sorry. It took me a minute on that one.
01:34:18
Speaker
You shouldn't get it. Do not apologize for not getting Transformer references at a lightning speed, dude. and If there's any franchise you can knock out of your brain, I'm fine with that one.
01:34:31
Speaker
And that one is available streaming, ah well, to rent or to buy on Amazon and Apple for about $4 or $10. um And when I just pulled up Just Watch to see where it was available, not only does it have have rent or buy, but beneath it it has one that says Cinema.
01:34:49
Speaker
So I'm going to click that. ah Apparently Harkins, I can't talk to you, apparently. clar lee ah Apparently Harkins is playing it for their Tuesday Night Classics.
01:35:01
Speaker
um um after this episode comes out so you guys will have a chance on October 14th and 15th so if you really want to go see it it's like one showing mean you really want to go see it it's it's one of their specialty like $5 screenings so it's one showing a day but it's October 14th and October 15th so go check out a Nightmare on Elm Street 3 because that might be how I watch it hell yeah so we all go together And then at the $5 level on our Patreon, we have our... Well, first of all, you get all of these episodes ad-free, and you get the video there.
01:35:38
Speaker
If you don't want to watch this on YouTube and you're streaming on your Spotify or whatever, you can watch the video on Patreon, or you can load this up into your app and you can listen to it there. But we will also have our Latchkey Vids at the $5 level, which is a show where we talk about...
01:35:55
Speaker
Forgotten or never known television shows from the 90s. We're almost done with Cop Rock. Yeah, we are. We will be talking about episode 10. No noose is good noose.
01:36:09
Speaker
This is the penultimate episode. I'm wondering if it's still about pots. I have a feeling it still has to with Potts. Sounds racially charged. or Or it's something that's happening to the cop. LaRusso. LaRusso. The cop.
01:36:26
Speaker
You know, the cop. in in In cop. You knew what cop. I saw LaRusso in an episode of Monk the other day, and he was shooting an innocent man. i was like, times don't change. No. um And then, of course, if you guys would be so kind, you could go to shop.badmoviesworstpeople.com.
01:36:43
Speaker
You get some cool merch like this shirt that I'm wearing right now. This is Jack's Classic Caveats. It's got a little picture of us drinking, smoking weed, watching the test color bars on a screen because I didn't want to use any trademarked images.
01:36:57
Speaker
It's perfect. It's a perfect shirt to wear for today's episode because that would make this movie even better. Yeah, we'll we'll revisit this one, especially during the holiday season. It won't be for recording. I just mean like I'll watch this with you guys like year from now, essentially.
01:37:11
Speaker
Yeah, you get some friends and some intoxicants and you have a good time with this one. So go to shop.badmoviesworstpeople.com and buy some merch. And these nuns look like they're about to draw a fat ass album on you.
01:37:23
Speaker
yeah Right? Straight out of Compton. i was like, I'm coming straight out of Melbourne. yeah Straight out of Melbourne.
01:37:34
Speaker
Parental advisory. So that's been it. I said no. That's been it for this week. Tune in next week for more Halo 3 and Horror Fest. I've been Derek.
01:37:46
Speaker
I'm Whitney. I'm Spritzer McPhister. Got him. Got him. Cut. Cut.
01:38:29
Speaker
The main guy is a guy. He was from I think I told you guys last week. Do do do better.
01:38:38
Speaker
Do it again, but better.