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Taboo Together: Bringing Kink in Your Relationship (1-10)
89 Plays8 months ago
Welcome back to the "Fun with Sex Podcast" for part two of our deep dive into the world of kink! In this electrifying episode titled "Taboo Together: Igniting Kink in Your Relationship," we pick up where we left off and explore the practical aspects of bringing kink into your relationship.
We'll guide you through the delicate process of discussing boundaries and ensuring enthusiastic consent, highlighting why these elements are crucial for a healthy and satisfying kink experience. Discover the importance of aftercare and how it strengthens the emotional bond between you and your partner post-play.
Ever wondered how to broach the topic of kink with your significant other? We’ve got you covered with tips on how to introduce your desires in a respectful and open manner. Plus, we address what to do if your partner expresses interest in kink and how to navigate this new dynamic together.
Lastly, we’ll discuss the benefits of finding a kink community. Learn why connecting with others who share your interests can provide support, validation, and a wealth of knowledge, assuring you that you’re not alone on this journey.
Tune in for an episode filled with practical advice, personal stories, and expert insights to help you and your partner unlock new levels of intimacy and excitement.
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Transcript
Introduction to Kink
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi, this is John with the Fun with Sex podcast, and this is the second episode on how to introduce kink into your relationship. This is what I will say. If you haven't listened to the first episode, you should probably go listen to last week's episode. We define a lot of terms, answer a lot of questions, and debunk a lot of myths around kink. But if you are new here, I am joined with Lola. She is a former pro dom and has nearly 10 years of experience in the kink.
00:00:32
Speaker
You want to give yourself a quick introduction for this one, or do you just want to jump right in? Let's just jump right in. So we ended our
The Role of Communication in Sexual Relationships
00:00:39
Speaker
conversation on how do you communicate with your partner that, one, I want a king dynamic, and more generally, how do you communicate your partner that you desire certain activities in bed? Yeah.
00:00:52
Speaker
I feel like it's mostly just about open and honest communication. When you're starting to date people, it is, in my opinion, very important to discuss what you're looking for sexually. I know I touched a little bit on this in the last episode, but a lot of people will get into relationships and realize they don't have a lot of sexual chemistry or
00:01:17
Speaker
Enjoy a lot of the same things sexually and I think that's a very important thing to talk about when you first start seeing someone I think that's like a thing a lot of people miss is that Not matching sexually is a reason to not date someone and or to end a relationship Oh for sure and like this is going like a little bit off the conversation, but I'm planning on looking at back even when people are like
00:01:40
Speaker
I am not monogamous and my partner is monogamous. I don't think it's selfish to say, hey, I don't think I can do this. I'm not compatible with you. And I think it's the same way of saying that like, you realize that you're gay or you're a lesbian and you're in a straight relationship. And you're like, hey, this isn't for me. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the like thirst is.
00:02:03
Speaker
idea of like protect the relationship at all costs, even if it comes at the cost of your happiness. And like, I don't personally agree with that. I don't agree with that either. It's not fair to not just the person who has realizations about themselves, but also the other person as well when the relationship is built on lies.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah, and I think that like society is so caught up on relationships and partnerships that a lot of people would rather have you stuck in an unhappy relationship than be happy and be single. Yeah. Yeah, because anything that doesn't threaten the hegemony of the nuclear family in a two person relationship.
00:02:44
Speaker
And I think
Addressing Societal Norms and Misconceptions About Kink
00:02:45
Speaker
that goes about the kink that if you realize that like, hey, I'm really into vanilla sex, you're really into something different, you're into some type of power exchange or more adventurous sex. I think that's a perfectly fine reason for us to either open a relationship and like check, date other people who can check those boxes for us or for both monogamous to end the relationship. No, completely. I completely agree.
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah, this is not what the conversations be focused on. The conversation was how to communicate with your partner that you want something to bet. And like the way that I view it is that if your partner doesn't feel comfortable with having conversations about what you want in the bedroom, and if you guys don't have that comfortability with each other, I think there's a greater issue at hand in the relationship.
00:03:32
Speaker
No, completely. You're saying everything that I was gonna say. Yeah, I mean like that's where you just need to work on like communication and comfortability and being with someone who you feel comfortable enough to have these conversations with. Yeah, like I said, it's not fair to either person if there's not honesty there. Yeah. Especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. I think the fun thing too is that like the majority of Americans, according to a survey by Dr. Justin Lee Miller,
00:04:02
Speaker
fantasize about some type of power exchange, power dynamic. So there's a good chance that you bring this up to your partner and they're also very into this too. And they just didn't want to bring it up for the same reasons you didn't want to bring it up. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? I think it's like
00:04:18
Speaker
at least 40% of Americans already admit to being into kink, BDSM, or fetish? I think, because the stats are almost like perfectly on a third. Over 90% of Americans have fantasized about kink. About two thirds of Americans said they really want to bring kink into their relationship. And at any given time, about a third of all Americans are practicing kink in their relationship.
00:04:47
Speaker
I don't think out the numbers exact, but as close enough, it's a survey done by Dr. Justin Lay Miller in 2018.
00:04:54
Speaker
Yeah. So with that being said, there's a lot of fricking people out there who's into non vanilla sex and non vanilla lifestyle. Thanks for saving that. I was going to go into like a nerdy rant. Like that's not what the podcast is about. So like, yeah, there's a good chance that like your partners into this too. And especially if you can communicate in the right way. And I think that like, communicating that you're into BDSM doesn't have the same fear of a bad reaction as communicating that you're into non-monotony.
00:05:24
Speaker
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Because I think when
How to Introduce Kink in Relationships
00:05:27
Speaker
you say that you're into none of monogamy, there's a good chance your partner internalizes this as like, I'm not good enough, or
00:05:34
Speaker
this person really just wants to have sex with other people, which like me, who's in like a polyamorous relationship, you being in a polyamorous relationship, we both understand that's not true. But I think that like you would tell your partner, especially if you're in a monogamous relationship, they're like, hey, I want to just have more fun sex in bed doing different activities with you. I don't think that's something that they would take like as an insult. I don't think so either. I can understand how a lot of people
00:06:04
Speaker
could at first be turned off to those ideas because of what society has taught us is okay. But if you're just wanting to explore things with your partner, I feel like it shouldn't be something that's looked at so negatively. That's like my thing. I think it's more about like when it comes to kink. I don't think a bad reaction as much as like internalized shame. Oh, yeah. Reaction to worry about your partner being like,
00:06:33
Speaker
I'm open to this, but we've been told so much about like what is acceptable sexual behavior that your partner is like. I need time to like process it, which is fair because we've been conditioned that if you're not having missionary sex in marriage, it doesn't count as a good, pure, technical Christian sex. Yeah. So flipping it or actually like, we never actually answered a question. How would you have that conversation? So I'm your partner and you want to have more BDSM and sex.
00:07:01
Speaker
So I feel like it's kind of hard for me to answer this question since I am such an open person. I mean, before I started dating my nesting partner, like I was always very open on the internet about like what I do, especially being in the lifestyle for as long as I was already and doing pro-dom stuff and also OnlyFans and camping and all the other things like
00:07:28
Speaker
He was somebody who was pretty much vanilla before he met me. So us having that conversation was honestly just like, hey, dude, I'm kinky. If you are not down for that, then I don't see a point in us seeing each other.
00:07:50
Speaker
Yeah, it's just hard for me to say what other people should do when someone like me is so open and honest with their sex and sexuality. I think if you were my partner, I would say, hey, I've really enjoyed the sex that we've been having, I think is really fulfilling.
00:08:08
Speaker
but I'm starting to realize that I'm into something else. I want to try a little bit more power exchange. I recently watched this porn or I recently watched Bonded on Netflix and it really resonated with me. I thought it was really hot. And I think it would be hot if we got to try this thing together. But like if you're not into it, completely understand and we can have further conversations on the line if you need to think about it. Yeah.
Exploring Kink Safely
00:08:34
Speaker
Role-playing.
00:08:36
Speaker
That is a very good way to put it, John. Yeah, double time to there. So what do you say if your partner wants to have, if you're somebody where your partner wants to have a BDSM relationship or power change and you're still on the fence thinking about it? What I would do is I would do a lot of research and just look up
00:09:00
Speaker
different types of dynamics, also different types of fetishes. The first episode. Yeah. And see what I would be interested in trying. I feel like a good stepping stone for people is just doing like light bondage, doing some cute little blindfolds, doing some sensory deprivation, which is taking away some of the senses, which will enhance other senses.
00:09:28
Speaker
And starting off at lighter things first, I think is a good way to incorporate pink into the bedroom. Yeah. And I think that like couples shouldn't start off with a 24 seven dynamic the first time. I agree. 100%. I think you should start off in a bedroom and like play with power exchanges and see how you like the bedroom first. And then after a couple months or a couple of years, you're like, Hey,
00:09:56
Speaker
I enjoy the bedroom dynamic. Maybe we can bring this to like a 24-7 dynamic. Yeah. Going back to what you were saying, there is like a lot of things you can try in the kink world without committing to a full dynamic. So stuff like, do you like degradation in bed? Would you like to define degradation? So, degradation and humiliation would be something that is kind of like,
00:10:23
Speaker
Hmm, how do I want to put this like you're a nasty little slut? Yeah, my nasty little slut like kind of derogatory. Yeah Consensual. Yeah, and as the person enjoys being demeaning or the person enjoys doing the demeaning but they both understand that This is consensual and they have like a loving relationship and they actually have a lot of mutual respect
00:10:47
Speaker
We're going to go talk about red flags later when someone just enjoys being an asshole and they don't have mutual respect for the person, they're degrading, but that's a different conversation. Bondage.
00:11:00
Speaker
Bondage would be like handcuffs. Handcuffs I feel like is a good thing to talk about when it comes to introduction to kink because that's the first thing people think of really when it comes to bondage is handcuffs or a little fluffy ones. As somebody who's been in lifestyle for a hot minute, I actually do love my little fluffy handcuffs. What I would recommend to people is get a pair of handcuffs. You know, you like that.
00:11:28
Speaker
Get self-adhesive tape. Bondage tape. Yeah. Self-adhesive tape is great. You wrap it around the skin. It doesn't stick to the skin. It only sticks to itself. And shibari and rope is very complex, especially for someone who doesn't. Very, very complex. It's also very dangerous. Yeah. So that's something that I would not recommend for people who are just starting with bondage. That's fair. Like for someone who's into bondage, you can get neuron damage.
00:11:57
Speaker
No damage with rope. So I would definitely watch YouTube videos. Probably you should take a class first before you start doing rope. You can cut off circulation, but the tape, it doesn't have that problem. You can't cut off the circulation with the tape. You most of the time cannot. I mean, like
Understanding Consent and Boundaries in BDSM
00:12:15
Speaker
99 percent of the time it's also so much easier to get out of. I would prefer or like.
00:12:23
Speaker
suggest doing the tape even before suggesting handcuffs because handcuffs are handcuffs. Yeah. So there are metal that can be very, very restricting. So I think the bondage tape is the best for beginner people. And I think that's a problem that like a lot of people have with handcuffs is that you either have to get the real ones, which is like very restricting and very intimidating.
00:12:48
Speaker
Or you get the fake ones from Spencer, and in your head, you're like, I'm not actually bounded by it. I can press this little release button and pop right out. So I think the stuff adhesive tape is a game changer.
00:13:02
Speaker
I also, like you said before, blindfolds. Blindfolds adds a lot of power exchange to sex without being bonded at all because you don't know what's going on. You're giving someone complete control of your body and it elevates the other senses such as like touch. I completely agree. Also, ball gags. Yeah, ball gags are fun.
00:13:26
Speaker
If you're new, there are ballgags that have holes in them so you can still breathe out of them through your mouth. Those ones are great for beginners. I love ballgags, personally. That was one of the first things that I did when I started exploring kink was use ballgags and a handcuff and a little satin blindfold.
00:13:55
Speaker
I think a fun one is hog ties too. Yeah, hog ties too are great. You can buy them from Amazon and literally it's still, it's not the hardest thing to get out of, but I think just like how sexual it is makes it fun. Or the bed restraints doesn't cut off circulation. It goes underneath the bed. It spreads you out like this. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of ways you do bondage. Um, praise kinks.
00:14:21
Speaker
I'm being told that somebody is a good boy girl or person. Yeah. How beautiful how sexy you are. You're doing such a good job. All that stuff just stuff little little sweet some things to make people feel good. And we can do an entire episode on dirty talking because I think that's really important. But I think what a lot of people miss is that
00:14:45
Speaker
dirty talking doesn't always have to be degradation. Yeah, dirty talking can be praise. And like some people are very into being told like, Hey, the way that you're making me feel is so good. I love the way that you're doing this my body, you're taking this so well. And like that turns a lot of people on. Or you can also do both like being both. Yeah, that's my favorite. I want to be told I'm a good slut.
00:15:09
Speaker
You know, a lot of times the plays off of people were like, especially like brats, they challenge the authority first and then like they get punished. And then like after they get punished, Oh, you take that punishment so well. You're such a good girl. And then they get comforted after and with the aftercare, which actually going into, um, I don't know if we ever answered the question. What to do if your partner's into kink, I think reflect for like a lot of, like in about a word.
00:15:38
Speaker
Have that conversation and realize it's okay to take time to process that. Be open to the idea of trying things out. That's why we started listening to different types of things to try out. Be open to the idea of trying things out if you realize that none of it's for you. That's really okay. We need to have a conversation. That's exactly what I was going to say. And conversations are good. Conversation and communication is key to any relationship.
00:16:06
Speaker
And the thing is that at the end of the day, it'd be better for you guys both to be separate and find happiness in the bedroom. Then if the difference in the bedroom will cause you to resent each other in the long run, protecting a relationship for the sake of protecting the relationship is not worth it. It is not at all. So I guess get into the more fun stuff. Um, we're going to first talk about negotiation after hearing contracts, and then we're going to go into,
00:16:36
Speaker
how to do BDSM safely and like red flags. So how would you define negotiations?
00:16:43
Speaker
So negotiations are just having a conversation about what you are and are into pretty much. I feel like that's the best way to put it. For me personally, as somebody who has been in a lifestyle for a long time, I have a whole Google Doc about the things that I am into or the things I'm willing to try and the things I am not into. But I honestly send to people who I am interested in playing with.
00:17:07
Speaker
What is the, do you know the name of the website where if you Google like BDSM tests, I would take a BDSM test before you do your negotiations and it's pretty accurate at telling you what you're into. It can also tell you what your partner's into. And then like it allows you guys to have an informed conversation where you both have this chart saying what both of us are into.
00:17:27
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And yeah, negotiation is just talking. If you're not comfortable with talking to somebody, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them. I agree. I understand there's a lot of socialized shame around sex. And when it comes to things like BDSM, if you don't feel comfortable having a conversation with the person that you're doing this with,
00:17:53
Speaker
you probably shouldn't do it. Exactly. And I understand that like, that can sound almost elitist, that you're like gatekeeping it, but it's still all in the name of safety. Yeah, it's all about safety. That's the most important thing. And sometimes negotiations, people actually write out contracts of like, Hey, like we were talking about before, there's responsibilities from both parties about being in a power exchange relationship. And
00:18:19
Speaker
writing a contract and revisiting it every year or every six months that says, I expect X, Y, and Z out of you. You expect X, Y, and Z out of me. We both agree that this is what our relationship looks like.
00:18:33
Speaker
Also the contract is not legally binding. It is not legally binding. So like if something were like, you realize this does not work for me. Yeah, you can always change it. You're not going to be sued. But the contract, the goal of the contract is to give you some type of autonomy of like what the relationship is supposed to look like.
00:18:50
Speaker
Yeah, and have it written down to be able to look back on. I've written out plenty of contracts for my slaves and submissives that basically just, like you said, talked about what I expected from them and what they expected from me. Also, STI status and all of those things. That is something that would be in a lot of people's contracts. And I think it's very important in your contracts and in your negotiations to set your boundaries.
00:19:20
Speaker
If your partner is really into degrading you but you're not into degrading, being degraded, that's a boundary that you're allowed to set. Even if they're really into it, you can say like, hey, that actually turns me off. That doesn't bring me pleasure. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing is to do no harm when it comes to BDSM. So even if something really brings your partner pleasure, but it hurts you, it doesn't bring you pain, it makes you suffer, don't do it.
00:19:47
Speaker
If you don't want to do it, don't do it. If your partner is really into spanking and you're not set that boundary. And that should be talked about in negotiations. Negotiations is more for more importantly than what you like is what you don't like. And I am going to go to like how Dom's can also say no to things as well. Like a dominant person
00:20:15
Speaker
cannot be into giving spanks, cannot be into giving degradation or humiliation, and that is 100% okay. You don't have to like what the submissive likes to be a dominant person. And I think no, yes, and maybe I'll give it a try are all fair answers. Yeah. And I would say that like, maybe I'll give it a try should be your go to answer a lot more than yes.
00:20:42
Speaker
Yeah, I agree. Especially if you haven't tried it before with a different person, because you don't know what you like until you're in the moment and then you're like, I don't know. This isn't the best one for me. Now I want to talk about red flags. Oh yeah, let's go into that. One of my biggest red flags, especially as somebody who is dominant towards people, is when a submissive tells me I am into anything, you can do whatever you like to me. And I'm like,
00:21:09
Speaker
oh so i can carve my name into your body how about if i sound you is that okay do you like that they're like uh sounding is when you put something in the urethra oh my god like this is when people stick like the pipe into the metal rods and yeah yeah i don't kink shame but like that's a lot for me
00:21:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's a lot for a lot of people. And that's why I say, Oh, can I sound to you? And they're like, uh, no. And I'm like, Oh, so you're not into everything. So maybe don't tell people that you're into everything. Because that a lot of people who are in the lifestyle and have been for a long time, we'll look at that and be turned off by it. Because it means you don't know what you like. Also, you don't know your boundaries or know how to communicate your boundaries. That's my thing, especially when I'm playing with somebody who's new to be this and I like
00:21:57
Speaker
Hey, what are you into? And they say I'm into anything. And then I, I think of like the wildest kink I can think of. Can I put it in your ass raw? Yeah. Like I'm not the kink chain people, but like there are very few people who are, when they mean I'm into anything, they are into anything. I've actually met somebody like that where I was like, Hey, are you cool with this? And they're like, yeah, I'm into this. And I'm like,
00:22:19
Speaker
Are you cool with like loaded gunplay and they're like, Oh, that's actually really hot. And I'm like, Oh, so you actually are into anything, but that's few and far between. The new boy I'm seeing when I said that and I was like, can I carve my name into your body? And he was like, absolutely please do. I was like, Oh, okay. But I will say like 99% of people who say that they're into anything or people who don't know how to set their boundaries and don't know what anything means.
00:22:50
Speaker
out in this world. So that's a red flag for me. Red flag doms for me are for doms who push things that brings to dom pleasure. But not the submissive pleasure. We're also people who call people on our ethics from the get-go. Like if I walked up to you and called you daddy, you'd be like, what? And if somebody walked up to me and called me like mistress, I'd be like, you don't deserve, why do you think you can give me that title right away?
00:23:20
Speaker
we're not doing this. And I think that like, this is what happens when BDSM gets proliferated. And like, this is the one thing I'm pro porn, but I do think the porn is to be critiqued on a lot of yeah, when you present BDSM without giving consent talks and disclaimers. So then you have like,
00:23:42
Speaker
college guys and hookups within the first three texts, calling women baby girl or princess and other BDSM terms that they haven't earned or when people do things like choking, which I was just about to say that. Yeah. Without asking for consent or asking like, do you have any traumas when it comes to choking?
00:24:00
Speaker
or spanking and they just fluff a woman on her ass without asking if she's into impact play. And then this is why, like, had been these negotiation talks before engaging in BDSM is so important. I also feel like we should discuss safe words. Yeah. Since we're talking about negotiations, I'll say the safe words that are the most common, the most universal, which is the stoplight system. So green.
00:24:27
Speaker
means good, keep going, I'm having a great fucking time. Yellow means slow down or can we please take a minute, can I have some water? Can you switch implements, implements as in like floggers or canes or paddles or whatever else you use. And then red is a hard stop, like no, this ends, now I am good, I am done. And then that's when aftercare would begin.
00:24:52
Speaker
And respect the safe word. Yes, respect the safe word. I've heard stories of people saying the safe word and their Dom pretends to ignore it or their Dom tries to challenge it. Respect the safe word. The safe word works as an automatic consent revoke in the moment. And the idea is that once that happens, the scene is over. They're no longer giving you consent to deal with the art they agreed to before. And if you continue to do that, that becomes abuse and sexual assault.
00:25:22
Speaker
if you ignore somebody's safe word and become sexual assault. And that
Post-Activity Care and Community Engagement
00:25:27
Speaker
also what I want to talk about is before we get into aftercare is the importance of having nonverbal cues. There's a lot of people who are like very submissive and they get into the moment and they have a lot of issues vocalizing that they want to stop or they have like a mouthless train on and they can't vocalize that they want to stop. So if you want to be engaged in the BDSM, do it responsibly and have like a nonverbal cue.
00:25:52
Speaker
My nonverbal cue with like my subs is a lot of times three taps on whatever my body part is. That's pretty universal. That's what I used to unless like hands are tied. Then a lot of people use like hand signals too. But I feel like especially if you're beginning, you probably should not do ball gags and restraints at the same time. Give somebody one way to vocalize they want to stop or communicate that they want to stop. I know like some people they even do like hold a one or two fingers in the air to say they're like I want to end it.
00:26:22
Speaker
And what that does is it gives the more submissive person opportunity to communicate that they want to stop without having to go through the struggle of vocalizing that or thinking about how they want to communicate that to the person. Also, if you go nonverbal, when you are in a submissive state of mind, you should communicate that to the dominant before you start, or if you're a crier. But just because you cried doesn't mean you want to stop, and you should communicate that.
00:26:49
Speaker
how vocal you are like screaming and yelling because I've been to plenty of play parties where people are like, who was that person screaming downstairs? Are they okay? And the sub playing is having a great fucking time. They are screaming like they're being murdered. All those things should be talked about before beforehand. Yeah, before participating in kink. I think the last thing is that everybody participate in it needs to have enthusiastic participation.
00:27:19
Speaker
If it's not a fuck yes, it's a fuck no. And like, that's what I try to get people to understand. It's that like, if you think that you have to convince somebody to participate in this, don't do it. They don't really want to do it. And like enthusiastic consent looks differently on a lot of people. But if this is like, if this is like your long-term partner where you know that like they're enthusiastic, they just show it a little bit differently.
00:27:46
Speaker
always leaning on the side of no. If this is a casual hookup and this person is like, yeah, I'm down for this. Like again, if this is your long-term partner, you may be able to be like, oh yeah, like I know that that means that like, yes, they're into it, there's a shot. But if this is like a random hookup, no, it's a no, take it as a no. You'll live another day, you'll be okay. You know that you didn't sexually harass or hurt somebody. And I think that like, to end the episode, it'd be nice to talk about aftercare.
00:28:15
Speaker
Yeah, so aftercare is extremely important to everyone, regardless if you are participating in kink or not. Oh, seems like there was almost a TikTok that was on that that you didn't like. Stop bullying me. But yeah, aftercare is ultra important. Like I don't care if it's a casual encounter. I don't care if it was a kink or not. Sex is a very vulnerable and intimate
00:28:42
Speaker
act even for people who receive a lot of pleasure from it. And you have a responsibility, both parties, to take care of the person afterwards. It can be used as easy as grabbing water.
00:28:56
Speaker
putting out a comfort show, asking, did you have a good time? Did you have fun? Were there things that you would like to try? Were there things that you would like to be different? Snacks are good, like chocolate, something that makes you feel good. Something to signify to the person, especially if you've been degrading them for like the last hour or so to say they're like, hey, no, I care about you as a human.
00:29:22
Speaker
This was a role play. This was an act that we did to find pleasure. You were safe. You were okay. Yeah. But like as a human, I respect you. And that's the other thing. If you have somebody who's too into degrading you and you don't have that relationship and that communication, that is an ultra red flag. Red flag. That means that is normally a man, but like, I don't want to make it too gender, but normally it's a man who just wants to abuse women. Yep. If you have a man who,
00:29:49
Speaker
you find out, he finds out that you're in the kink and he immediately wants to jump into impact play without having a conversation about like, is that the type of kink you're into? If he seems too enthusiastic about it, probably just wants an excuse to abuse women. Yeah. Oh, okay. What that will say is that like really, really important on a party note is like to find your local kink community and your local munch. Yes. Munch's are a,
00:30:20
Speaker
place where kinky people or like minded people get together in a vanilla space to talk and to find community and make friends. And like, if you live in a big city, they're pretty easy to find. They're super easy to find. If you don't live in a big city, I don't know.
00:30:41
Speaker
You really have no idea. I don't know. Moving to a big city. I would check the website Fat Life. They normally have locations available per city. I would check field. You won't find much as listed on field, but you'll find other kink people. And like Planet of the Community does multiple things. One, it helps with shame and repression because you find out that you're not alone. You're not the only person fantasizing about these things. Even Reddit too. Reddit is a great place.
00:31:08
Speaker
to make friends and to find a community. And to and I think like as important is that you find people who have been doing this longer than you who can communicate healthy ways to do this. People who they've made this mistake. So they've seen other people make the mistakes and it can stop you from making those mistakes before you make it. So like find your local community
Conclusion and Future Discussions
00:31:30
Speaker
field. Fat life. Fat life. I don't know why I just blanked on name with that. Find your munch.
00:31:38
Speaker
And I think this is a good place to end the episode. Yeah, we'll have to continue this some other day. I would like to thank Lola for joining me. I feel like we have a lot of other conversations to cover. We definitely do. Thank you for having me, John. And thank you for listening to the Fun with Saks podcast.