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34. SUPPRESSING YOUR EMOTIONS AND THE NEGATIVE IMPACT IT BRINGS TO YOUR LIFE
73 Plays2 years ago
Suppressing your emotions can really mess up your life, your mental health and your relationships. I have dealt with this first hand and can confirm it's not a fun time! I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do let me know :)
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Transcript
Introduction to Emotional Suppression
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the episode. Thank you for coming by and sharing this time with me. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate that the people that keep coming back to listen to what I have to say. But basically today, I'm going to be talking about suppressing your emotions and how it can affect your life, how it can affect your relationships and basically how like it affect my life.
00:00:24
Speaker
And basically everything I talked to you guys about, it's always something that I have dealt with in my own life. And I like to share it because I feel like I have overcome these things in my life. Now, obviously I am not perfect. I obviously I'm human. I make mistakes. I still do with things and I'm always learning and I'm always growing. But like suppressing my emotions is definitely something that I have overcome.
Impact on Relationships: Suppression to Outbursts
00:00:49
Speaker
Um, and I'm, I'm still working on that, but like it has gotten a lot better. Now let's just, let's just dive right into it. Suppressing your emotions. First of all, do you suppress your emotions? Do you even know that you suppress your emotions?
00:01:05
Speaker
Maybe you're just in denial. You know what I mean? So I used to be somebody that, you know, for example, if something would happen into a relationship, right? Instead of just communicating, talking about it, maybe it's something that I didn't like and being like, Hey, like,
00:01:24
Speaker
So this happened and I didn't really like how I felt in the situation. I don't like that. Whatever happened. So instead of me doing that, I would just keep it inside, push it down, try to forget about it. And then basically what would happen if the same situation would come up like maybe in a couple of weeks.
00:01:48
Speaker
then I would get triggered by that. And then I'd get the same feelings, right? And the more things like this kept happening and the more I just didn't talk about it, I kept pushing it all down, pushing it all down. And then what happens? That one time when you finally get triggered and you had enough, you'd get this big anger burst and you just explode. And then you're reacting and then your partner's like, what in the fuck?
00:02:16
Speaker
is happening. Like why are you so upset? So if I just would have talked about it, worked through it in the moment when it first happened, instead of suppressing all those emotions, pushing it all down, I probably wouldn't have had this big anger outburst.
00:02:35
Speaker
When you suppress your emotions, normally in relationships, people start to resent each other. When you don't open up and communicate to each other about how you are feeling and how something makes you feel, how is the other person supposed to know?
Importance of Expressing Feelings
00:02:56
Speaker
They're not going to know.
00:02:58
Speaker
So the best thing that you could do is when you're starting to feel some sort of way, like when you start to get that initial thought of like, I don't like this, this is, this is not making me feel really good. You should communicate that be like, Hey, whatever's going on right now, I don't really like it. And I don't really want to keep going. Can we, can we come to a common agreement instead of just,
00:03:24
Speaker
not talking about it, suppress your emotions, and then all of a sudden, boom, this big outburst of anger happens. You know what I mean? So, suppression your emotions can really have a negative effect on you, even on friendships. You know, maybe like whatever friend you got, maybe you feel like you're being a better friend than that person.
00:03:49
Speaker
and then you build up this resentment, and if you're not really communicating that, you can really start to hate that person for no reason. The other person on the other end don't even know any of this is happening, and he probably thinks that everything is good, everything is fine, but if you don't communicate your feelings and how you're feeling in the moment, then how are you guys ever gonna work through it?
Blame and Emotional Suppression
00:04:13
Speaker
Now, I used to, when I would suppress my emotions and all this stuff,
00:04:18
Speaker
anytime I would get triggered and something would upset me and I would have this big outburst, right? I would just be in denial of me even getting triggered and I would always just put the blame on to that person and I would just push my shit away onto them and I would try to like flip the script and make it seem like it was their fault but like
00:04:44
Speaker
In reality, I was just suppressing my emotions. And if I just like, man the fuck up and talked about it when things were bothering me and be like, Hey, like, I don't like this, what's happening, and I'm not going to deal with this anymore.
00:05:01
Speaker
I would just, instead of me doing that, I would just suppress my emotions and then I would get triggered and then I'd be in denial and then I would push my things onto them. And I would always want to like leave a situation. Like anytime I got triggered, then I wouldn't want to talk about it, right? I wouldn't want to talk about it. I wouldn't want to work through it and I'm just like run away and I wouldn't want to leave the situation. And then then I would, I would just try to forget about it. And then what does that do?
00:05:31
Speaker
Nothing that does nothing because it's just going the same shit is gonna happen again Because the other person don't even know that this is this is bothering you Right, so they're just going on about their
Cycle of Suppression and Conflict
00:05:44
Speaker
life. So then when you get triggered again, it's gonna go through this big old cycle of fuckery Once again, you're gonna get triggered
00:05:52
Speaker
You're gonna have big outbursts. You're just not wanting to talk through it. You're gonna leave the situation because you're mad and you're upset and you just basically just act like a child. And that's how I used to be. I used to act like a child all the time. And trust me, I'm still working on it. I'm still trying to make sure that this doesn't happen again and I make sure that I communicate how I'm feeling.
00:06:18
Speaker
They say communication is key. And to build a healthy relationship, you really have to communicate. And, you know, I do feel like that a lot of the relationships that I used to be in, um, you know, fail just because of lack of communication, poor communication. You guys build up resentment towards each other. You just start hating each other. You start fighting. Like you're not even on the same team at that point. And you guys just break up. And I feel like there's a lot of you guys out there.
00:06:47
Speaker
That is going through the same things and it's probably because you are suppressing your emotions. You don't like to open up. You don't like to communicate. You don't like to talk about how you are feeling. You're not in tune with your emotions. All these emotions is happening. You're just like putting it away. You don't want to say anything. You're trying to keep the peace, but like.
00:07:06
Speaker
It's just never going to help you in any situation whatsoever. When you put those emotions down, you're having all this energy built up inside of you and then one day you're going to get triggered and you're just going to explode and it's just not going to be a very good situation. Trust me, I've been there. I've done that.
00:07:27
Speaker
and it never works out the way you want it to work out.
Immediate Communication to Prevent Anger
00:07:31
Speaker
So if I have any bit of advice, I would say to talk about how you're feeling in the moment. If something is bothering you, like if you can get the slightest little bit of something that's bothering you, just talk about it, just explain to that person because most likely the other person is gonna be pretty like, oh really, I didn't know that? Okay, let's talk about it.
00:07:54
Speaker
It's you really have to communicate as a couple and talk about how you guys are feeling in the moment, things that are upsetting you, you really have to communicate, try to work on that in the moment. And I know sometimes it can be difficult because it turns into an argument. But like, there's no need to really
00:08:14
Speaker
Argue and yell and like these things these little tiny things could be caught in the moment and it could just be a small thing Instead of you suppressing your emotions for weeks and weeks on end and then you what happens you eventually have this big outburst and you're Angry and then that makes the other person angry and you get in this massive fight and it's just it's just chaos There's no need of that. So just
00:08:37
Speaker
Stop suppressing your emotions. Now, how did I overcome this? Because I feel like I was dealing with this all of my life. I was always suppressing my emotions. I was always bottling everything up. I didn't want to express how I was feeling. I wasn't really in tune with my emotions. And I was just going through this constant, constant cycle of just putting all my bullshit onto other people and blaming them, right?
Personal Experiences with Mushrooms and Emotions
00:09:03
Speaker
And for me, I honestly do truly believe that
00:09:07
Speaker
I kind of stopped this cycle because I started microdosing and I started doing mushrooms because mushrooms, what does that do? It opens up your heart. It makes you more in tune with yourself. You feel more, you're more loving, you're more acceptive. And ever since I really started microdosing and doing these like larger doses and discovering a lot about myself, I keep looking back
00:09:34
Speaker
on my past and I'm realizing that, you know, me suppressing my emotions, this is exactly what was happening. And it was just, it was so negative, right? So like, I'm more open to learning and becoming better and making sure I don't do that and making sure I do express my emotions and, you know, communication
00:09:56
Speaker
it's it can be tough it can be tough especially for a man especially for a man because men always just like bottle everything up and they don't want to talk about anything they're just trying to be the man you know what i mean um but that's not doing you any help it's not doing you any help whatsoever trust me i've been there i've done that and it's not good so i do find that the mushrooms just kind of
00:10:19
Speaker
helps me become more okay with communicating and expressing my emotions.
Mushrooms and Improved Communication
00:10:25
Speaker
Especially when I do a larger dose, I find for anybody that is listening, if you haven't done a larger dose of mushrooms, for me, every time I do a big larger dose, it really just opens up my heart and I wanna communicate and I wanna talk about things that I find that maybe in like real life, well, yes, real life,
00:10:48
Speaker
It's still real life. We're doing mushrooms. But what I mean, when you're not on mushrooms, some things can be very hard to talk about. So when I do that larger dose, those hard conversations can now become a little easier when you are on mushrooms. And I find that it just helps me communicate better.
00:11:05
Speaker
It helps me discover more and like those hard conversations always seem to happen when I do take a larger dose and that just kind of helps you and your life, you know, in the future. You know what I mean?
00:11:20
Speaker
That's what kind of got me over it. I'm not telling you guys to go out and do mushrooms. Definitely not, but for me, I find that mushroom just opens up my heart a little bit and makes me more expressive. It makes me feel more. It makes me in tune with my emotions. It makes me not reactive. Basically, what microdosing does
00:11:44
Speaker
is it just calms the noise and the chatter and all the bullshit in your brain. You're not gonna see these massive shifts right away when you take one micro dose.
00:11:57
Speaker
Basically, you take a micro dose, it calms the noise in your brain, and then something that might have triggered you, don't know. And you say, huh. But like when you're not paying attention, you won't notice those things. But if you are really in tune with yourself, you're gonna start to notice those little things that like, things don't annoy you as much. You're much more happier. Something that pisses you off, don't really piss you off today. Oh, you're having these negative thoughts? No, well, now I'm having a positive thoughts.
00:12:26
Speaker
And then over time, like when these little things keeps happening over time, then it just gets to a point of my life where I basically am like, whoa, what the hell have I been doing this
Reflections on Emotional Habits
00:12:39
Speaker
whole time? And now I'm like, I realized that all of the bad ways I used to live and how my brain used to work and think and just all the negative noise and nonsense in my brain,
00:12:51
Speaker
I now don't deal with that anymore because I've been microdosing consistently and it calmed all that noise in my brain and I started thinking differently and looking at things differently and having new perspectives and creating new pathways in my brain, like better pathways and realizing a lot about myself and my, like a lot about my old self and my old traumas and it just makes me work through all of that. So like when I'm consistent with it, then I just get to a point of right now of this like realization and
00:13:20
Speaker
It's just like accepting how I used to be and how I used to be was not the right way and he used to cause so much shit for my life. So that's how I overcome, I guess, suppressing my emotions. Right. Um, but the, I think the first step is just, just accepting that you are
00:13:41
Speaker
Accepting that clearly you're not communicating how you feel. And when you're not communicating how you feel, you just go through that big cycle of shit of what I just talked about.
Final Advice on Open Communication
00:13:55
Speaker
So if I have any advice at all for anybody listening or anybody in a relationship or marriage or friendship that's not working, just communicate how you're feeling.
00:14:07
Speaker
Don't hold on to things. Let things go in the moment. Like just communicate. That's it. It's pretty fucking simple, but we don't do it. And a lot of our relationships fail because we don't communicate and we suppress how we're feeling. And it just causes this big giant thing of fuckery. And we don't want that fuckery in our life. So.
00:14:32
Speaker
Anyways, I hope you guys took some from this. I really tried to dive into how it used to affect my life and how I've overcome that.
00:14:44
Speaker
Hope you guys have a really freaking awesome day and catch you on the next one up.
Conclusion and Sharing the Message
00:14:49
Speaker
But before I go, if you did like this, um, let me know tag man, Instagram, um, send it to a friend, share it with somebody. Um, cause I, cause I know that there's a lot of you guys, a lot of you guys that suppresses your emotions and it could play a big factor in mental health, your wellbeing, the success of your relationships. And, um, we just don't want to be doing that. Okay. So.
00:15:14
Speaker
Have a good day.