Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to this Mental Monday episode. How you doing? Thanks for being here. On this episode, I want to talk about self-sabotaging. That little voice in your head that the that keeps you second-guessing almost everything, you know?
Speaker: i i used to do this a lot. I still do it, not as much, but I definitely do it in certain situations. So, like, you ever have those days... Where you're like, you finally feel like everything is just starting to click. You know, you're putting in the work.
Speaker: You're showing up. You're consistent. And it feels like everything is, like, all that work, time, and effort is finally paying off. You ever have those days? And then out of nowhere, where that little voice creeps in.
Speaker: you know You know? You know that one. Careful. You know? Don't don' get too comfortable now. Like, this could all go away. like that And then suddenly you're in your head again. And it's not that you're lazy or like unmotivated. it's It's that part of you that doesn't really fully trust the progress that you're actually making and you're just almost like waiting for everything to just fall apart and I do that all the time I do it all the time it's it's like you know i've I've come so far on on social media I've gotten better at my videos you know I've been getting a lot of partnerships and
Speaker: Things are good, right? But there's there's always that voice in my mind. It's like, this could be gone tomorrow. You could be going back to Alberta and and have to work away from home.
Speaker: And that like that little bit of fear right there it' just like, no, okay, we can't. We got to keep going. We got to keep going. You're not doing enough. And it's it's almost like this tug of war sort of thing, right?
Speaker: And that's kind of like where I've been lately. You know, I've been pushing really hard. nonstop creating, like just trying to grow. And for the most part, like things are really good, but there's this thing that happens like when,
Speaker: When it starts to go like good, my brain tries to like, it's iss like, it tries to mess with me. And it's like one part of me says, oh, you're doing good. Like, good job. And then the other side says, yeah, but you don't want to slow down because, you know, this could disappear.
Speaker: This could be gone. you You could be going back to like work boots and coveralls. And it's just this like constant like tug of war of like push harder, ease off, no way, push again.
Speaker: Honestly, it's like a little bit of a mind fuck. It if I'm being ah honest and like, I feel like you guys can relate to this in like your life as well. Like no matter what you're doing, like it doesn't have to be social media.
Speaker: Um, we all got that little bit of like tug of war in our, in our mind. You know what I'm saying? And like the weirdest part is I'm not even if like, I'm not afraid to work hard. That's not it. It's, it's, it's the fear of like losing my momentum.
Speaker: You know what I mean? Um, There's a couple times where, like, a went on vacation or something like that. And, like, you know, my view my views went down on Facebook. Oh, oh my gosh. I'm going to lose momentum. And it's like i keep telling myself, no, no. I got to keep posting. Got to keep posting. i gotta to And I don't um don't really think that's healthy, to be honest.
Speaker: um Because, like, i don't know. When you don't have this, like, guaranteed safety net, like, that steady safety. paycheck every Friday, that built-in routine, like for me, that like that because I don't have that, i I start to feel like everything depends on how hard I push myself.
Speaker: And if I stop for a second, God forbid, if I stop for a second, everything that I have built is just gone out the door. And, you know, it's this pressure that like makes you feel like you you can't even breathe sometimes.
Speaker: And I actually, I'm not going to say that. like It's not that bad. But that voice in my my mind and and just that constant tug of war,
Speaker: um it it's it's it can be lot. And like the truth is like that's where... that's that that that pressure comes from you and only you.
Speaker: it's It's not the word. It's not anything else. It's your own voice telling you, if you stop, you're going to lose it all. And i I like that I have that drive, but I do feel like that That drive and that fear and and and and all of this, it it just makes me um work maybe ah a little bit too much.
Speaker: Where the point where like I'm not really living a lot and I'm just everything is just about posting. And i get it. you you have to You have to be like that to accomplish you know things in life. you have you have to You have to have that drive.
Speaker: you know Because if if I wasn't posting like this every single day, um you know I wouldn't have gotten to the point where I am right now. I just feel like I'm in this like self-sabotaging loop. you know But here's what here's where it it gets a little twisted. you know Sometimes...
Speaker: when I'm like really in ah in the zone and doing everything right, I'm showing up every day, you know, I'll hit a point where like I start to ease off a little bit, not because I don't care, not because I'm tired, it's just because it's like, oh, all right, you know, you're done enough, you can relax for a little bit, and for a minute, I do, I take my foot off the gas a little bit, but then boom, that voice kicks in again, see, you're slacking, you're falling off, you're, you're,
Speaker: you're, you're behind, you're going to lose everything you work for, you got to, you got to go back into it, and I just keep going in this, in this cycle, and like, I, I feel like, i feel like a lot of you guys can relate to this, right, right, is it just me, is just me that's going through this,
Speaker: oh man, oh man, oh man, um, you know, it's, it's just tough, like, so, it's it's almost like i i It's almost like I just can't win and I can't like appreciate everything that I've done.
Speaker: you know And like when I'm working, I'm i'm a little bit like anxious that it's like not enough. And when I slow down, I'm anxious that I'm doing too little. like Like I said, it is a mind fuck.
Speaker: It's like the same feeling that like comes from... Um, comes when like one small thing doesn't go your way, you know, you could be doing amazing for weeks on end, but then that one off day, that one bad decision, you know, for me, like maybe, uh, that one video that didn't perform well, right. it's It's almost like your brain forgets all the progress that you just made.
Speaker: And then it's like, fuck man, you suck.
Speaker: I know I'm joking about this, but like sometimes that's like, that's what goes on in my mind. It's like, oh, I put all this work into a video and it's like, it doesn't perform well.
Speaker: And it's like, call it Jesus, man, you suck, bro.
Speaker: And I feel like, you know, there's definitely a thing that you can relate to in your life. Like ah um you've definitely gone through this. You put in so much work and time and effort and it just didn't pay off. And then that, when that doesn't pay off,
Speaker: That's when you know you're like, man, what is this all for? What am I doing this for? But you win some, you lose with some. like For me, it's you know it might be something small. Like like I said, like a post doesn't perform well.
Speaker: um But for you, it could just be like a bad day at work, a fight with someone that you care about. you know but Just a moment where you don't really feel like yourself and then all of a sudden,
Speaker: You start doubting everything. You forget about all the wins that you just had in the last like two months. You forget about all the effort. You forget about how far you have actually come. And it's crazy how that one little moment can make us literally question everything.
Speaker: You know, we've already proved ourself. We've already like come so far. So like why, why do we do it? Why do we do it? And I think, you know, I finally get why that happens.
Speaker: It's because like when you actually start to see progress, you know, when when things start to move in the right direction, it's it's a little bit unfamiliar. For me, because i've I've never felt these things before. I've never, you know, I've never had this like,
Speaker: ah maybe be success on social media. um i don't really think I'm i' fully successful, but yes, ah you know, my video has been taken off and whatever. um It's very unfamiliar.
Speaker: You know, it's like you spend so much of your life chasing that feeling. And then when you finally have it, you almost don't really know how to sit with it. You know, so your brain tries to like pull you back.
Speaker: to to what it knows, you know, and the grind, the worry, the hustle, the struggle, because that's familiar. Peace, peace, it's maybe not familiar.
Speaker: i I'm definitely a lot more peaceful than than what I was, but the yeah, maybe like just that, that, that things are all working out, there's no stress, you just, you just got the momentum, maybe like that is just not familiar, and that's why we, you know, we start to,
Speaker: sabotage our own progress and not not because we don't want it because your brain's still wired to like survive not feel safe you know and like the truth about momentum and because here's what i'm learning like momentum doesn't just come from working non-stop it comes from like believing that you've already like what you have done already matters because, because what's the point of chasing something?
Speaker: If you're, you're never, you're never going to stop long enough to realize that you've caught some of it, you know? you you don't You don't lose your drive by by resting. you don't You don't lose it when you stop believing in in what you're doing. you know And and that's that's where I've been trying to like shift my mind so my my mindset lately um from I need to do more to like, no oh shit, like look at what you've done, man. like Just feel proud of it. And i ah struggle with actually just feeling proud of how far I've come
Speaker: And all I think about is like, you're not doing enough. You could be doing more. This person's doing more than you. Why can't you be out here doing that? You know what I mean? i it's It's just, it's really hard to just be proud of what I've i've already done.
Speaker: Because that that pride kind of like fuels you more than fear ever could. You know, like the bigger picture here is, so like maybe... I don't know, maybe maybe you've been here too.
Speaker: You're working hard, you're growing. Things are just slowly coming together. You know, like everything you dreamed of, everything you want in your life is finally coming together. But every time you make a little bit of progress, your brain finds some reason to panic.
Speaker: You know, you start thinking about all the ways it could fall apart instead of all the reasons it's actually working. You question whether you're doing enough, you know, whether you deserve it.
Speaker: Whether you're you're allowed to actually breathe. But the truth is, you're allowed to live while you're building. You're allowed to enjoy the good without waiting for the bad.
Speaker: You're allowed to to to rest without losing your edge. You know? And I think that's the balance like I'm trying to have right now. you know we' Working really hard without letting fear of like losing it all, run the show.
Speaker: You know, put pushing forward without forgetting to actually look around little bit, live my life, enjoy things. And like reminding myself that ah one day off, it's it's not gonna erase all the effort that I put in, you know?
Speaker: But like our mind can just be such a toxic place And it can always be like playing tricks on us and make us, convince us that, you know, we're not enough. We're not doing enough. You could do more.
Speaker: And if you just keep giving into that, that voice, you know, it's, it's kind of shit. It is kind of shit. I'm going to be honest with you. So, man, if you're in the same place, you're overthinking, you're second guessing, you're wondering if you're not doing enough.
Speaker: Ah, just fucking take it breath man just breathe because we are doing enough we are don't know it's so it's so hard to to realize that sometimes but we are and and like if if you're not right now that's okay too you can you can You can start again tomorrow and just try to be like, yo I am enough, man. I am enough. You're not falling behind.
Speaker: You're just human. We're all humans. We make mistakes. we we you know but The one thing that us humans do the most is overthink and second guess ourselves and try to like self-sabotage all the good things in our life.
Speaker: If you're not like that and you're just a perfect human, then good on you. You know, I've definitely come a long ways. I used to overthink so much in my life. um But that's all that's a whole other episode. We can get into that.
Speaker: um And I've definitely come up a long way, but just currently doing what I'm doing right now with the social media and and like and just all the time. It's like I can really like. there's always that voice in my head that's just like, you're not enough. You're not doing it enough. You can do better. The video, the videos could be better.
Speaker: You need to do more of this, you know, and then, and then you're going to get somewhere to where you want to be. But then it's like, is it Because ah just want to talk about this for a second.
Speaker: I've never got this many views on videos and in my life on social media. Right. and And when I wasn't getting those, I wanted that. right? But now that I'm getting it, it's like, oh, well, this is not enough, right?
Speaker: It's like, i'm just I'm just continuing to chase these numbers. I don't know if that's really healthy or not. I know that I got a lot of drive and I know that maybe this is what it takes to double down and and really grow and and make it somewhere on social media.
Speaker: But yeah, chasing numbers, just kind of chasing that. I don' i don't know if it's really that healthy. um So yeah, that's that's just where I'm at. You know, I'm just trying to I'm just trying to like maybe just quiet that voice in my mind, you know, just really trust the process and just be okay with with the progress that I'm making and not let fear kind of like take over, you know?
Speaker: Because the truth is like, you've already very you've You've already come so much further than you give yourself credit for, including myself.
Speaker: you know like Don't let the doubt like steal that from you. and And I feel like sometimes that's that's what I do. i just I just let that doubt and that fear just kind of take away how far I've actually come um in the last couple of years, you know, don't let that one day off make you forget all of the good ones that got you here, you know, I take a day off, and then it's like, all I'm thinking about is like, oh shit, I got this video to do, I got that video, I got this, I got that, it did d did d and now like, my mind is still like, oh ah ah need to like,
Speaker: try to separate and just kind of go live and it'd be like, you know, is it's going to be okay. You've, you've, you've, you've built up something here. Like it's, it's going to be okay if you take a day off, you know?
Speaker: So I got to say guys, like, keep Keep your head up. Keep moving. You are enough. You're doing enough. But just be aware of that little voice in your mind that is always trying to self-sabotage, overthink, make you second guess, and...
Speaker: Yeah, that's that's all I got to say, guys. So that's from Matt. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. um If you're related to it, if if if you're going through the same things, if you've got any any questions at all, don't don't hesitate to reach out to me. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, um YouTube, wherever.
Speaker: wherever you can you can even message message me on here. And if you like this podcast, if you like this episode, I would really appreciate it. If you guys, you know, followed me on Spotify or or Apple rate, the show, rate, the show that that would mean the most to me, um, helps just kind of push this podcast out to more people that probably needs to hear it. So,
Speaker: Hope you guys have a good week. um Thank you for tuning in. I appreciate you guys taking the time of your day to listen to what I got to say. Hopefully it made sense. Sometimes I'm on here and I'm just talking. I'm like, does this even make sense what I'm saying?
Speaker: Anyways, I'm at it here. Peace. Love you. Bye.
