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THIS ONE THING FIXED MY MENTAL HEALTH - AND IT WASN'T A SELF-HELP BOOK
130 Plays2 months ago
In this episode, I’m getting honest not the highlight-reel version, but the real story.
There was a time when everything felt like too much. I didn’t feel inspired. I didn’t feel strong. But what kept me going was having something to work on. A project. A goal. A reason to get up, even when I didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t about chasing success or being productive it was about survival.
I’m talking about how that “one thing” gave me purpose when nothing else made sense, how staying busy gave me structure when my mind felt chaotic, and how that shift changed my mental health more than any motivational quote ever could.
If you’ve ever felt like you were just trying to make it through the day this one’s for you.
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Transcript
Introduction and Personal Reflection
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, welcome back, everybody. It's been a minute. I know I've been slacking. I know. i know. But truthfully, I've been really busy. Really busy in a good way. And i had this conversation the other day and it kind of made me stop and think about the past version of myself that don't really exist anymore.
00:00:20
Speaker
That version that I don't really think about anymore and that version that I don't even really deal with anymore. Okay. So I don't really talk about that, that, that side of me anymore because I feel like it don't really exist. But today I want to talk about it because I feel like like you can really relate to what I'm going to say.
00:00:39
Speaker
Okay. So yeah, this episode is just a little bit of a check-in, like a bit of a bit of a story, just, just me being honest about where I'm at, where I've been and why I think that I'm doing mentally better these days.
00:00:54
Speaker
Now, if if you're already mentally strong and you're just a one perfect, but Maybe you can still relate to what I'm saying. But if not, you know, maybe you struggle a little bit. I think that you you might be able to relate to this episode. So.
00:01:08
Speaker
So right now for me, let's just dive into it.
Balancing Busy Life and Mental Well-being
00:01:11
Speaker
Right now, like got a lot going on. My life is full, you know, and i'm I'm not boasting right now. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just telling the story. Okay. So just, just settle down.
00:01:19
Speaker
Okay. I got brand partnerships, restaurants, reaching out, cooking all the time, posting, editing, filming. There's always something to do for me every single day. And when I'm not doing that, I'm at the gym, walking dog, you know, just life stuff, cleaning, hanging out Rebecca, you know what I mean?
00:01:35
Speaker
um But lately, Um, I've been thinking that maybe that's part of the reason why i feel okay right now. Does that, that conversation the other day, it really brought me back to when I wasn't feeling okay.
00:01:49
Speaker
Right now. I don't have it all figured out. Definitely don't have it all figured out. Well, I do think having something to work on, having stuff, having things to do that really matters to me, that is playing a big role on how I'm feeling lately.
00:02:06
Speaker
Right. and I don't think it's, it's just about being busy. i think it's about being engaged in, in, in what I'm doing. Like I wake up and there's actually like a purpose in my life, you know, a project, something that, that something to move forward on, you know, like every day I wake up, just like something else I got to do something else I got to work on this, this new recipe I'm trying, um, this new video I got to do. Oh, I'm talking to to to brands. There's just a lot going on in my life and I feel like I have a purpose and a drive.
00:02:37
Speaker
um you You guys on my social media, you know, I'm i'm interacting with you guys and I know that some of you might even be waiting for me to post another recipe. I don't know, maybe one or two.
00:02:48
Speaker
um But I feel like I actually do have a purpose, okay? So like, let's rewind a little bit.
Finding Purpose After Leaving Full-time Job
00:02:55
Speaker
Back when I first left my full-time job. So for those of you just tuning in,
00:03:00
Speaker
um, maybe you're a new listener. I used to be a welder, uh, heavy equipment operator, worked in oil fields. I worked, I worked all the time. i was always away from home. Right. So like let let's rewind. When I first quit my first, my full-time job, i don't think I had much of of a structure.
00:03:18
Speaker
Um, I wasn't really making a lot of money. Trust me. I wasn't making, i don't even know how i survived to be honest. Um, I didn't really have a plan. I was just kind of floating.
00:03:29
Speaker
You know, I was, i just started working with this company called Microsybin and I started getting into into like microdosing and stuff like that. But like, I didn't, i don't I felt a little lost, I think, right? You know what I mean?
00:03:44
Speaker
And because on paper, like you think, oh, you know, I'm free. I could do what I want. um But when you've got too much time on your hands and no real direction, I think it kind of messes with you a little bit.
00:03:59
Speaker
You know, there was definitely a lot of days where I was happy and I was enjoying myself. And there was this this new thing. I didn't have to get up and go to work. And um ah You know, I still had to create content and and and try to figure out where my life was going, but like I had never had any real direction.
00:04:16
Speaker
And because I had all that time and not really sure of things and
Overcoming Numbness and Seeking Answers
00:04:20
Speaker
nothing I was really working on, like sometimes yes, but not all the time, I feel like I had a lot of time where I was just in my head.
00:04:29
Speaker
And there was many days where i was waking up and like I was just like in this... like
00:04:35
Speaker
limbo of just like not really feeling anything. And, you know, I just kind of anxiety because I like, I wasn't making a whole lot of money. And, uh, I just, I just felt like not good sometimes, but other days I wake up and I was really good. And then I wake up the next day and I wasn't good. And then there was be times i remember there was this period of my life where I was just like numb.
00:04:59
Speaker
I was just numb. never felt anything, like, I wasn't happy, I didn't want to laugh at anything, I didn't want to carry on, I was just numb, and I honestly, ah really do feel like, yes, I, I've done a lot of personal work on myself, um you know, for those of you who've been following me for a while, I did a lot of ah microdosing and like journaling and meditating.
Fulfillment Through Content Creation
00:05:21
Speaker
And I did everything, honestly, because like when I was going through that, I think I was just looking for an answer. I was looking for something that was going to really bring me to a point in my life where i could get to where I am right now, where I'm just happy all the time.
00:05:35
Speaker
You know, i'm I'm just light and fun. um I'm excited for things. You know what I mean? um And back then when when i when I was going through those phases, I definitely felt this way For sure sometimes, but there was just a lot of those days where where I wasn't feeling okay, right?
00:05:54
Speaker
And if you actually go back ah go back like a few years of what I was posting, i like I posted a lot of me sitting in front of the mic. talking about certain things, and it was just things that I was going through in my life, and, and, and things that i was trying to figure out, and you know what I mean, so I, I just, I expressed all of that ah through my Instagram, and just talked about these, these topics, like, um things like mental health wise, and stuff like that, but like, if you really like,
00:06:22
Speaker
Look at those videos. it's It's just stuff that I was honestly going through in my own life, you know? So like now it's just, I feel like because I'm really so busy, so driven and just got a lot on my plate,
00:06:38
Speaker
It's bringing me just a lot of, you know, ah fulfillment and and joy. And i enjoy making these videos. I enjoy, you know, posting the recipes, trying new food, cooking.
00:06:51
Speaker
ah Cooking brings like brings me a lot of joy, you know. Trying new foods, going to new restaurants. So, like, I just have a lot going on in my life. And i do feel like I do feel like that's why i'm I'm in the position that I am right now.
00:07:06
Speaker
Um, you know, there was definitely days like, I'd just be sitting around like in the past, like not really doing much, but never had anything to film or I didn't know what to film.
00:07:17
Speaker
Um, and I'll go for a walk. I just try to stay active. Right. But like a lot of those days in the past, like, I just remember having this like empty feeling and I was always looking for something. And like,
00:07:30
Speaker
You know, it was it wasn't that I was crying or like visibly upset. Like I i just didn't feel joy or I guess feel connected. You know, there's sometimes I just like i just was just going through day by day, like just didn't even really feel alive. And I think that's the part that.
Quiet Mental Health Struggles and Solutions
00:07:48
Speaker
I don't talk about enough when it comes to mental health because I used to talk about mental health a lot. And I really wanted to just dive into this topic today because I feel like that, you know, some people are probably going through these the same things that that I went through before. And I wanted us to do this episode just to like, yo, there there is a there is a lighter day and there is a better version of you.
00:08:12
Speaker
And that that just comes with work, you know, work on yourself and keep yourself busy, you know. But sometimes, it'ss you know, it's it's not about a big breakdown. Sometimes it's it's just that slow, quiet feeling of of being lost and not not knowing where you're supposed to be in life and not feeling like useful, not having any purpose. You know, I think that is what really plays a factor on our our mental health, you know.
00:08:40
Speaker
um At a certain point, like I, and the past, I knew I needed to work on myself. And I feel like that's that's why i started microdosing.
00:08:51
Speaker
Because it it it it kind of was it was kind of helping me process my emotions. And like, i feel like if I... if I was the way I am right now, I don't, I don't think I ever would have microdosed, you know, I, I kinda, I feel like I got into the microdosing because I i was, I was a little bit lost, and I didn't, I was, uh, you know, feeling empty, and having all these emotions, and all these, like, ups and downs, and so, like, I kinda turned to that, and, like, I, I, it definitely helped, helped me a lot, and, and ah and it, and it ended up
00:09:28
Speaker
leading me to doing ayahuasca and in Costa Rica, which blows my mind that
Healing and Staying Motivated
00:09:33
Speaker
I even did that. I don't know if you guys know what ayahuasca is. Um, I'm not going to dive deep into that, but just do a simple little Google, uh, research on ayahuasca. But yeah, i went down to Costa Rica into the jungle, not in the jungle. We were at this nice Airbnb. We were still in the jungle. Um, oh yeah, it, uh, it honestly, I feel like that changed me a bit and like, it's not magic. It didn't fix everything overnight, but it definitely helped me kind of see things differently and helped me understand myself a little bit more, helped me slow down, you know, and really feel what I've, I've been kind of maybe avoiding for years, brought up a lot of like past things that I, that I went through as a child.
00:10:11
Speaker
Um, but yeah, even with all that healing, you know, the real shift happened when, when I i really got back to just doing, when I started creating again, you know,
00:10:24
Speaker
i I change up the content, and start posting the food, and then I start getting a little bit excited about it, start filming the recipes, and then like I start building up the social media, start connecting with all you guys, and then then brands start reaching out, and then before I knew it, well, if I just fast forward to right now, I'm busy. I'm really freaking busy and I like being busy and it keeps me motivated and and and it gives me things to do every day. And I feel like I do have an actual purpose. And I feel like I'm, I'm that, I feel like that's why and don't deal with these mental health issues anymore.
00:10:59
Speaker
You know, man, well, listen, healing is great, but like, If you're not applying something to it, if you're not really building or expressing or growing yourself and trying to level yourself up every day, like you can still fall back into that stuck place.
00:11:18
Speaker
you know ah think a lot of people feel anxious or or low and they don't even know why. They don't even know why. they're theyre just It's just so common for them to feel this way.
00:11:31
Speaker
they just deal with it and and and it just is what it is. And yeah, sometimes it you know might be chemical, sometimes it's trauma. But I also think sometimes, not always, but sometimes it's just a lack of purpose. And that's why I wanted to make this this episode today. Because that's just when I reflect back on what I was doing in my life back then, who I was and what I'm doing now and who I am.
00:11:58
Speaker
What is the common factor of why i'm not having these... mental issues anymore, not feeling down, not feeling off, you know?
Dangers of Idle Time
00:12:08
Speaker
when you When you have too much time to sit around in your thoughts and, you know, no real out no real outlet to your energy, like, you i think you start spirring spiraling a little bit, you start overthinking, you start comparing, you start you you you start doubting, especially when you have a lot of time and you're not making money and you're not working.
00:12:28
Speaker
I've been there and that that that is when you're, you know, the brain is just...
00:12:34
Speaker
And if you don't have any real direction, you don't know, you don't know how to make money or you don't know what you're going to do. Or I don't know, maybe you're stuck in a job and you just, you're all your money's just going to bills.
00:12:48
Speaker
And you're like, man, what am i doing? What am I doing? You're just, you know, that could play a lot on your, your mental health. Right. But I feel like like if you've got something to work on, even if it's just something small, you know you're staying moving.
00:13:04
Speaker
For me, you know it's just the food content right now. It's the social media. It's sharing parts of myself in this creative process. like you know That thing might not be your thing, but like whatever it is for you, like just try to find it.
00:13:20
Speaker
Start building. you know so yeah i don't have it all figured out. but You know, I question myself sometimes. How can i honestly say that I feel more grounded now than I have in a long time? And and I just feel like it's because I have something to work on, right?
00:13:45
Speaker
Something to work on.
Fulfillment and Contribution
00:13:46
Speaker
Like the big reason for that is just having something to really pour myself into. not to Not to distract me, but like to remind me that that i'm I'm capable.
00:13:57
Speaker
um I'm fully capable of creating. right And that I'm capable of growing. That I actually have something to offer to people. And people are enjoying it.
00:14:09
Speaker
You know? So, I feel like if you're listening to this, and you're in you're in that like in-between place of like, you know, you're just floating through life.
00:14:21
Speaker
I just want you to know, listen, you're not alone. You're definitely not broken. You might just need a new mission. You might just meet need a new outlet, a new direction because I have been there.
00:14:32
Speaker
I've been that person that it that would wake up some mornings and I just, I would just be like down on myself and I'll beat myself up. Like I still beat myself up sometimes, but like not to that extent, like it was bad.
00:14:46
Speaker
And i just, you know, i felt like, didn't know what to do. They didn't know what to do. didn't know where to go, what direction. And as but I kept trying things. I kept doing things. And yeah, it might seem like ah you had i had it all figured out, but I was just going through the motions.
00:15:03
Speaker
I was just going through the motions and I had a lot of great days, but I also had a lot of bad days and I don't have those bad days anymore. And that's the only thing that really changed for me. It's just
00:15:16
Speaker
It's just working on things. Having something to look forward to Having a purpose in my life. So, guys, start small. But you just got to start. You just got to start, okay?
00:15:29
Speaker
We're all good at something. You just got to find it, you know? Even 10 minutes a day of just working on something meaningful. It adds up. Changes you. Gives you momentum.
00:15:40
Speaker
Even journaling. You know? you know't if if If you're listening to this, and I used to journal a lot to all the time. I don't do it now. And I don't do a lot of things that I used to do now. I do it time to time.
00:15:52
Speaker
But, like, I don't i don't journal. I used to journal every single day. I used to do these, like, mental health kind of um ah challenges where, like, I'd do these, like, journaling prompts and stuff like that. And I was, like, really, really, really into it.
00:16:07
Speaker
Because I was always just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on why Why am I feeling this way? you know How could i make my life better? And there's been so many times where I was literally writing in my journal ah about how I wanted to be, ah wanted to grow my social media. I wanted to to get more partnerships. I wanted to make more money. I wanted to pay off my debt.
00:16:35
Speaker
I don't know how many times i wrote that down. I just kept writing it down, writing it down, writing it down. And like, i i I guess I wrote it into existence.
Manifesting Goals Through Journaling
00:16:43
Speaker
You know, ah draw I'm telling you guys, if you're going through it, journaling, just sit down. If you don't even know what to write, just just sit there.
00:16:50
Speaker
Write some things. Whatever comes to mind, whatever you want your life, whatever you whatever you're going through, how you feel, just getting that out on the paper, I'm telling you guys, it it it do make a difference.
00:17:03
Speaker
And then there's like all these, like you can go online, find like journaling prompts, answers, answer questions about yourself, stuff like that. I'm telling you, journaling helped me a lot. But um yeah, just anything, anything, just really just do anything that that is going to help work on yourself.
00:17:21
Speaker
But if you can find something that, that gives you purpose that you wake up every day and you're like, oh, I'm doing this. Like besides work, because then not everybody likes their job. You know, some people might go to work and they, they fucking hate it.
00:17:33
Speaker
You know, but you if if you hate your job, you got to have something else going on in your life besides that job. Because if you're just waking up go day in and day out, going to a job that you hate.
00:17:46
Speaker
And then, you know, like, I don't know, for for me, i've I've worked jobs that I didn't like. And i had to have something else happening that would that i that that I was looking forward to. Like if if it was a basketball team or, you know, um i don't know I don't know. You get what I'm saying.
00:18:04
Speaker
You get what I'm saying. Sometimes like that's really is really all you really need to make it through. It's just have something. Have some purpose in your life. Work on something. Have a project.
00:18:16
Speaker
that's I feel like that's the thing that changed for me. So thanks for listening, guys.
Gratitude and Encouragement
00:18:21
Speaker
You know, I know this was a little bit of a raw one, but um sometimes that's the kind of episode that yeah you you really need, you know.
00:18:30
Speaker
ah appreciate you guys being here. appreciate you I appreciate you guys sticking with me, coming back and listening to... Whatever I put out, whether it's it's on this podcast or on Facebook or Instagram or YouTube, you know, I'm i'm trying to create as much as i possibly can. And I really appreciate that you guys actually take the time and watch my stuff and listen to it.
00:18:50
Speaker
So hopefully I'll have some new episodes coming soon. um Not 100%. Like I find I just come to do these um when I just feel like doing it.
00:19:00
Speaker
um And I know I should be more consistent with this and show up for you guys. um But it's been really. I'm not going to It's been really busy lately. And I know I could still do an episode. But and just my mind is just so many other places.
00:19:15
Speaker
And you know. When I come to here. ah really want to have a reason why. I'm coming to here. And yeah. So listen.
00:19:26
Speaker
Until then. You guys take care of yourself. And remember. That it's okay to not have it all figured out. But. Try best to keep building on something.
00:19:40
Speaker
Peace.