Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
WHY CONSTANT SELF-IMPROVEMENT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK!
54 Plays4 months ago
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about self-improvement — and how easy it is to get caught in the cycle of constantly doing more. I used to be stuck in that life: track everything, optimize every hour, stay “on” all the time. And if I missed something? I’d beat myself up. I was obsessed with being perfect, and the pressure I put on myself was unreal. In this episode, I’m unpacking that mindset and sharing why I finally let go — and why you might want to, too.
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome and Previous Episode Recap
00:00:00
Adam Pike
Hey guys, what's up? It's not Monday, so it's not a mental Monday. Today's Tuesday, so welcome back to Unlocking with Adam Pike. If you tuned into my last episode, you know I kept it a buck fifty.
Feeling Good Without Guilt
00:00:12
Adam Pike
I was keeping real with you guys. You know, like the idea that maybe life isn't always about changing. Maybe it's finally time that we start feeling good. Finally, allowing yourself to feel good without the guilt, without feeling like you always need to earn it.
00:00:26
Adam Pike
So today, um just wanted to build off that a little bit because...
Societal Pressure for Self-Improvement
00:00:31
Adam Pike
There's been something that's kind of been on my mind since I posted that episode. you know Something of that just keeps keeps coming up in in the podcasts, on social media, conversations.
00:00:40
Adam Pike
And ah want to talk about it. It's the idea of constant self-improvement. you know like We're always told that we should be working on ourselves, right?
00:00:51
Adam Pike
We need to be growing. We need to be doing more. you should read You should be reading more books. You need to meditate. Eat cleaner, run faster, wake up earlier, push harder, do more, right? that That's what the world is basically telling us to do.
Growth vs. Self-Worth
00:01:06
Adam Pike
And don't get me wrong. Growth is important. I believe in it. i chase it. But somewhere along the way, I think we've mistaken growth for self-worth.
00:01:18
Adam Pike
You know? Like if we're not improving, we're falling behind. You know? like like Like being content means that you're just getting comfortable and lazy.
00:01:29
Adam Pike
But what if I said that's not true? What if I said that's not true? Because for the longest while, I was in this self-improvement mode, you know?
00:01:41
Adam Pike
And trust me, like, it definitely helped me get to to where I am right now. I'm not saying anything bad about this. But when I was in that mode, I really did believe that if I took my foot off, and I even done videos about this, I even done podcasts about this, saying anytime I took my foot off the gas, ah just I just feel myself going, you know, like like kind of in my head, like it's like I'm not doing enough, or, you know, my anxiety starts coming back, and I just i just felt like I had to stay in that self-improvement mode all the freaking time, and I feel like that can get exhausting, right?
Appreciating the Present Self
00:02:19
Adam Pike
So, what if there's nothing wrong with just being you, like as you are right now, not trying to become this upgraded, optimized version of yourself, but basically just appreciating the version that already exists and maybe just tweaking that a little bit, you know, because me right now, you know, I'm not in this, well, okay, how how can I phrase this?
00:02:48
Adam Pike
I'm not in this constant like meditation, grinding, podcast, work on myself, get better, get better, get better. um I'm definitely trying to improve my social media and like content creation stuff like that. that I feel like that's kind of different.
00:03:03
Adam Pike
Like that's with with everybody's job, they're they're trying to get better at their jobs. But I'm not constantly trying to work on myself. And I feel like I am content with my life right now.
00:03:16
Adam Pike
So like, um'm just kind of I'm just kind of putting this out here because I want you guys to just kind of think about it for a minute. cause i Because I know that when I was in that self-improvement mode, I was just stuck in that mode. And I was always preaching it.
00:03:30
Adam Pike
And I was just in it. But now that I'm out of it, and like you know I did the work, I'm out of I'm looking back, and I'm like, shit, like... was so locked in on that. Like, that's all I cared about was just self-improvement, you know? And that that can become exhausting. And I'm sure some of you guys were honestly annoyed by listening to me talk about it all the time, right? So, like, im I'm just, like, I'm just having a conversation
The Anxiety of Perfect Self-Improvement
00:03:52
Adam Pike
here right now. And, like, I just want us to think about it.
00:03:54
Adam Pike
I think there's, like, a little bit of power in that, you know? think there's there's there's healing in that. and And I just want to talk about it. So, let's be real for a second. Like, have you ever... felt like you were just doing everything right.
00:04:06
Adam Pike
You know, the journaling, the morning that the morning routines, the ice baths, going to the gym, ah tracking workouts, the mindset work. But it just felt like it it just wasn't enough. Like no matter what you did, it just wasn't enough.
00:04:22
Adam Pike
Because ah I have definitely been in that situation, right? Right. And it's like the more tools that I pick up, the more pressure i feel like I need to use them all perfectly. But if I skip one, you know, if I if i sleep in one day or I forget to meditate or or I order takeout instead of meal prepping, so suddenly it's like, oh my God, I failed, right?
00:04:42
Adam Pike
I didn't do my day perfectly. and it' it's yeah I just put a lot of pressure on myself. And that's not self-love. Like, that's that's performance, right? I'm like, but why are trying to be...
00:04:55
Adam Pike
Why are we trying to perform perfectly every single day? That's not human. You know, like somewhere along the way, self-improvement just became another way to like prove we are worthy, that we're disciplined enough, focused enough, motivated enough.
00:05:13
Adam Pike
But like, who are we trying to prove it to? You know, like for me, I was i was just really Proving it to myself. Like I was just always trying to hold myself accountable. And like I just need to do more, more, more.
00:05:26
Adam Pike
Listen guys, here's the truth.
Self-Worth Beyond Milestones
00:05:28
Adam Pike
Like this hit me kind of hard recently. Like you don't need to earn your own love. You don't need to earn your own love.
00:05:39
Adam Pike
you don't You don't have to hit a milestone to to be proud of yourself. You should wake up and feel proud of yourself every day. you know? we are all...
00:05:50
Adam Pike
amazing in our own way. We're all good at something. You know, you might be amazing at knitting and I don't know, someone else might be amazing at making music. I'm good at creating content. Like we we all have something to be proud of of ourselves in our own life.
00:06:04
Adam Pike
And I'm not, I'm not going sit here and say like, you shouldn't, shouldn't work on yourself. Shouldn't do the self-improvement all that healing stuff. But I feel what I'm, what I guess what I'm saying is When I look back on it, I was just so focused on that and only that.
00:06:20
Adam Pike
And if I didn't do those things, I'd beat myself up about it. And like, I don't think that was even healthy. And now that I'm, I'm, I'm stepped out of that life. Yes. That'll, that'll help me get to where I am right now.
00:06:31
Adam Pike
But I don't think I was doing it in a, in a healthy way. If that makes any sense. You know? So like you, you, you're already enough, you know? And self-improvement should be something that, or I mean, it should be something that you you prove, not something that you owe. You know, so like, let's unpack that a little bit. You know, like the self-help world, yeah, I know like I'm a part of it. Sometimes, you know, I just make it, what am I trying to say here?
00:07:01
Adam Pike
Sometimes it might make it feel like you are broken. And maybe you might feel like there's something that needs to be fixed. You know, because that that's definitely how I felt. i i Like, I didn't know that that's something needed to be fixed. And I didn't know what I was chasing. And I didn't really know what I needed to work on. But I knew that I was in it.
00:07:22
Adam Pike
And I needed to become better because death there were definitely issues in my life. But the thing here is, like, you're not not a broken person. You're not you're not some project. You know, you're not some checklist of of habits that it needs to be done every day to to for you to have some self-love.
00:07:39
Adam Pike
Yes, having having like good habits every day is definitely beneficial and it's going to build on top of each other every single day for you to become a better person. But when when you if you beat yourself up for not hitting those checklists of habits and and and you know and not working on yourself, then I don't think that's a healthy healthy way to go about it. You know you are human, living, breathing.
00:08:10
Adam Pike
Like you're navigating your own story. We all are. We all have our own story. So like if every part of your day is just filled with pressure to become someone better, like you're you're never going to feel like you are better.
Redefining Growth and Liberation
00:08:25
Adam Pike
You're always going to feel like you're behind. You're not doing enough.
00:08:29
Adam Pike
So today, like I want to just say something different. Like what if growth isn't about fixing you But what if it's about actually just freeing you? Because I was so fixated on that word fixing.
00:08:48
Adam Pike
You know? Fixing myself. I like i and need to become this better person. But like now that I'm in the life that I'm in right now, this like this chapter of my life, I feel like ah I am a little bit free.
00:09:03
Adam Pike
And I do feel like there's a little bit of weight off my shoulders. And I do feel content. And content is not lazy. um um I'm just, I like my life right now.
00:09:16
Adam Pike
And I want that for all you guys. You know, we we should all be able to be content. And I never used to be content in my life for a long time.
00:09:29
Adam Pike
Um, there was just a lot going on. There was lot of pressure. to And like I feel like some part of me still feels like a little bit of pressure. That's why I'm like constantly doing content. and You know what I mean? Like I definitely push my – having a little bit of that is definitely good because it it pushes you to just do more. And I feel like like I use that fuel to kind of like do content, get better, you know. And and and that obviously helps me business-wise. But when when you're using that fuel to kind of, you know,
00:10:02
Adam Pike
fix yourself, and you need you just get fixated on fixing yourself, I don't think that's healthy at all, so, I'll say it again, what if what growth isn't about fixing you, what if it's about freeing you, you know, freeing you from the guilt, freeing you from the shame, freeing you from, you know, the lie that you you have to become someone else to be worthy of peace or joy or love, you know, so like,
00:10:35
Adam Pike
i don't know.
Balancing Self-Improvement and Anxiety
00:10:36
Adam Pike
i don't know what I'm saying here. I hope this is making sense. And and and and I hope that, uh, that you're kind of relating to what I'm saying, but like, we're not robots, you know, we're human and we need to give ourselves a break sometimes.
00:10:52
Adam Pike
And I put so much fricking pressure on ourselves all the time. just and That, that in itself just gives us fricking anxiety, you know? I feel like I wasn't really living my best life before. I was just managing it.
00:11:07
Adam Pike
I was just making sure I was like in line and doing the right things and doing the best the cold plunge and doing this and doing that. and I had to focus on food, for example. you know I used to beat myself up.
00:11:20
Adam Pike
I'd have a cheat meal and then I'd they'd be like, oh my God, got to go to the gym now. you know Now it's just like, ah yeah, eat I eat healthy. i go to the gym, but like I don't give a shit if I eat bad.
00:11:33
Adam Pike
and it doesn't bother me. If I have a lazy day sitting on the couch, it doesn't bother me. If I used to sit on the couch, like I couldn't, I couldn't be content ah with just sitting around and being lazy.
00:11:46
Adam Pike
It cause it just used to eat me. It's like, Oh, I could be doing something right now. I could be, What the fuck do you got to do? Take a day. Like I kind of realize now that those slow days and that that off time and but like a nice vacation or eating those meals, like that all fuels you to just be a better person, right? But when you're fixated on every little thing that you're doing and you pinpoint and then you go over your head and you beat yourself up, it's not healthy.
00:12:17
Adam Pike
um'm um I'm here shouting right now. It's not healthy, you know? So, damn, man. I think it's when I realized that
Supportive Self-Improvement vs. Enslavement
00:12:29
Adam Pike
self-improvement should feel like support, you know?
00:12:35
Adam Pike
It shouldn't feel like you're you're a slave to self-improvement. And i honestly, sometimes like the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself is say, like, I'm good.
00:12:48
Adam Pike
I'm good today. I don't need to do more. ah just need to be a little bit. I just need to sit down and just freaking be, you know, give myself a little time. Like, don't know, man.
00:13:06
Adam Pike
You know, I like now I am I saying that you yeah you should stop growing? Like, no, I i love the growth. I chase progress in many areas of my life. Like I always want to get better for sure.
00:13:22
Adam Pike
But like the why matters. why are you Why are you doing that? You know, for me, i want to get better at content because I know the better that I get, better my content is going to be, the more relatable it's going to be, the more watchable it's going to be, the more brands are going to want to work with me because my content is just authentic and engaging and people love it.
00:13:45
Adam Pike
That's why I want to get better. right? But to go back on the self-improvement and working on yourself, right? Like I'm fixated on that, that my why is fixing myself because I feel like I'm broken and there's something wrong with me and i have these these stories in my head that I tell myself, like none of that is fucking healthy.
00:14:06
Adam Pike
you know You get what I'm saying here? So If you're growing from and place of like love and curiosity, like that's definitely healthy.
00:14:17
Adam Pike
If you're growing because you think you know you're not enough, you're just putting pressure on yourself. you know And pressure doesn't really lead to peace. It it just leads to burnout.
00:14:31
Adam Pike
And anxiety. And worry. And fear. And you know. it just The list keeps going. So ask yourself. am i Am I doing this because I love myself? Or because I am scared of who I will become if I stop?
Reflection on Personal Growth Journeys
00:14:47
Adam Pike
asked and this This episode is good man. I'm like. Man. I'm like. Damn. It's true. It's true. It's true guys. Just think about it.
00:14:58
Adam Pike
I think it's okay to. to have a lot of seasons in our life. And I've definitely gone through a lot of different seasons in my life, now that I think about it. You know, what what's the poem, reason, season, or a lifetime?
00:15:12
Adam Pike
You know, that's and I think it's about, like, there's a lot of people that'll come through your life that either stay there for a reason or a season or a lifetime. You know, and that's totally fine that people come and go, but, like, you also have reason, seasons, and lifetimes in your own life.
00:15:29
Adam Pike
Seasons of intensity, seasons of softness, you know, seasons where you're just grinding, building. Seasons where you're just breathing, just chilling, you know.
00:15:43
Adam Pike
One isn't better than the other. that like theyre all ah Every season in your life is important and it's taking you on a journey to somewhere. They're all necessary. But you don't have to be on all the time. You don't have to optimize every single moment. Sometimes healing...
00:15:58
Adam Pike
it it might look like just letting go. You know, sometimes progress means putting the book down, going for a walk without your headphones. You know, we always got music in when we're working out. I i obviously love that.
00:16:14
Adam Pike
But like, sometimes i like normally I listen to podcasts, go for a walk, but like sometimes I don't. I just, just go out, to nature, just do stuff without freaking technology. Like it's,
00:16:27
Adam Pike
I know I'm bad for it because, like, I just, I always got my phone in my hand. I'm always working. I'm always doing stuff. But sometimes you just need to just put the freaking phone down, you know?
00:16:38
Adam Pike
Sometimes self-help, like, it's not about helping yourself for a day and being okay with that. i don't know if that even made any sense, what I just said. But anyways.
00:16:50
Adam Pike
Ha, ha, ha. i think i think I think I hit hit the nail on the coffin here today. i definitely made a a bit of sense in in this podcast. But before i wrap up, okay, I want to leave you guys with something that and I feel like we all need to be reminded of on on on a daily. you know You don't need to become someone else to deserve rest, love, or peace.
00:17:15
Adam Pike
You know? You want more free life. You can you could definitely want more for your life but while whilst was still loving like who you actually are. you know you can like You can be a work in progress, a masterpiece at the same time. right so like Guys, if if you're listening to this right now and you've been feeling like tired, like you're chasing something that just never freaking ends, maybe after you guys just listen to this, maybe today is the day that you just pause.
00:17:50
Adam Pike
Just put everything on pause. And just rethink, like, what are you even doing? What are you working on? Why are you working on it? Like, ask yourself these questions. Don't quit. Like, don't give up.
00:18:01
Adam Pike
Just pause. You know? Give yourself permission to, like, be proud of the version that you are right now. Because you've made it through every hard day so far in your life.
00:18:14
Adam Pike
And trust me, guys, you're doing a lot better than you might be. And you're allowed to just be. So thank you guys for being here with me today. If this hits home with you, I would love to hear about it. Message me, tag me, subscribe, do all those good things, rate this show. I would really appreciate it if you rated this show. If you listen to this podcast, you like it.
00:18:35
Adam Pike
um If you listen to this on on Spotify, you can actually this section where you can rate this show. So listen, guys, you're not alone on this journey. And I'm grateful that we we get to walk it together.
00:18:47
Adam Pike
And thank you for listening. Appreciate your time. And until next time, keep unlocking. I'll see you soon. Peace.