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Episode 4 - PETS!!!! feat Maggie
42 Plays1 year ago
This episode is all about those special fuzzy dudes who live in your house. Come on this journey with us as we discuss all things PETS with special (and recurring) guest, Maggie!
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Transcript
Introduction and Sponsorship
00:00:13
Speaker
Ouch, I hit my head again. Well, good day, shallow friends. Welcome to the shallow end. Why am I getting judgmental stares already? My goodness. Hi.
00:00:35
Speaker
You're not gonna say anything yet? No, no, okay. Well, I'm gonna start and just go with, hey, thanks to Paulie on Wine for our official sponsorship. The lawyers finally approved the final contract. I'm pretty sure that Paulie owes us at least a couple bottles of wine a week for the next month.
00:00:59
Speaker
I think it was 52 weeks? Something like that. We got partial bottles this week. We're just going to work through them. It's fine. But Paulie's a good dude. He's our friend. And if you want to learn more about our first sponsor, Paulie on wine,
00:01:22
Speaker
You can check out the podcast Under the Vinfluence, which is available wherever premium podcasts are sold. And he's a good dude and he's a friend. I also want to say thanks to all of our loyal listeners.
Listener Appreciation and Family Shoutouts
00:01:41
Speaker
And I guess I screwed up. We screwed up.
00:01:46
Speaker
I haven't said anything yet. I know, but you screwed up too. Look, she's been here the whole time. She just chose not to say anything yet. Listen, loyal following. No, you shut up. I'm just talking to our audience, our fans. One might say our family. I just want you guys to know that I let him be in charge of you for the day.
00:02:16
Speaker
And if he didn't feed you, that's his fault. It's my family. Okay. Our family. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm closer to it than you are. So the loyal following does extend.
00:02:35
Speaker
to North Carolina and the, um, the brew crew in North Carolina. And we are so sorry for overlooking. Yes. Honestly. Okay. Loyalty there. I know that my shout outs are a coveted, a truly coveted, um, level. Oh, come on. You're just sucking up that people can achieve. And I really don't hand them out willy nilly, which is the legal. It's episode four. Okay.
00:03:04
Speaker
I don't need your sass i would like to send a shout out to my beautiful and wonderful grandparents in north carolina because we get. Text message from my grandmother in north carolina every episode that we release and truly.
00:03:21
Speaker
with tremendous feedback. Paragraphs upon paragraphs of reflections that, by the way, for the following, not always positive, which is great. We love it. For real. Shout out to Grandma in North Carolina. Thank you so much for listening and always sending the most beautiful
00:03:42
Speaker
and reflective feedback. Yes. Shout out. So, and we apologize for not giving that shout out earlier because she's been doing it from the beginning. From the beginning and we haven't acknowledged it. Such a huge supporter. Yeah. And much love. Much love. Kisses and smooches and hugs. And now we're going to offend you by talking about, I'm going to introduce our topic for tonight.
Playful Banter and Guest Introduction
00:04:10
Speaker
Okay. Here we go.
00:04:15
Speaker
Yo, I don't think we should talk about this. People might misunderstand what we try to say.
00:04:42
Speaker
So our topic for tonight is, uh, wait, what? Wait, did I get it wrong? What's the topic? Hang on. First of all, a hundred percent of the time on this podcast, you're talking to one of your daughters, but at least for tonight you're talking to both of your daughters. What did I do wrong though? I thought our topic was sex. Maggie.
00:05:08
Speaker
You and I are doing this alone. Dad's not part of this. What was it? I think he meant so let's talk about pets, baby. Oh, let's talk about
00:05:25
Speaker
That's okay. Yeah, you're right. I'm that's boring. I don't even have much to say about pets. All right. Well Maggie will have plenty to say I have plenty to say by the way, who are you? I met our first guest ever. Oh my god a stranger Maggie in our house. Okay. I just broke in one day For some reason
00:05:46
Speaker
Well, your mother would say that's accurate. Oh. Well, and then I broke out. You did break out. I busted out of there with a lot of prompting. In the kindest way possible. You were the one who played the sex song to start off. I thought it was kind of cool. I was going to introduce it as I was going to say, hey, our topic is going to be introduced tonight by Salt and Peppa.
00:06:14
Speaker
But I didn't do it. That's a family joke. And nobody else gets that. We do a lot of family inside jokes, but I feel like of our family inside jokes, that one is one of our most approachable. Because it's not our joke. It's just John Mulaney's joke.
00:06:33
Speaker
Well, and it's also, yeah, it's also an SNL joke by extension. It's a Malini joke for us. And for Malini, it's an SNL joke. So it's a Russian doll situation. Many layers to that joke. Okay. So I'm going to, so we have, we have Maggie here. Let's give Rebecca, you and I had a full,
00:06:58
Speaker
Let's be honest, it was a half hour. We had two full episodes. It was a full half hour on our introductory podcast because no one listened to the second part when we fucked up. Everybody listen this time, traders. I listened to the second part. Well, Maggie listened to the second part. Well, you did maybe. Hey, we're not saying it like that. We're not talking about Maggie. Well, you did. Well, because you're dedicated. Yes. You and I are- Only family I've got. You and I are two of her favorite people on the planet. It's true.
00:07:28
Speaker
She's two of my favorite people. Agreed. What? She's all of my favorite people. Your boyfriend's gonna love that. Your wine is... Talk about my wine dripping. That's personal. Oh my gosh. The actual theme of the podcast is walking down the stairs right now. None of you understand how important this is because there are three cats in the building.
00:07:56
Speaker
And the one that just walked down the stairs is the one with three legs. And a full voice. But he is an amputee. He's an amputee and he's coming up. He's actually coming as close to us. Oh my gosh. He's here. Okay. I would really love it if Maggie talked a little bit about, um,
00:08:24
Speaker
I think herself. Herself and how she fits into our family and what... Okay. Introduce yourself. I am Maggie, second daughter, fifth born.
00:08:35
Speaker
And best of all of them. Oh my god. And that is the general consensus. I'm not just saying that. You in a previous episode called me like the golden sheep or something like that. Because it's not the black sheep. It's not. I'm unique but in a good way, not a bad way. Yeah. So nobody think that this is ego talking here. This is just truth. It will. Yes, it's true. I'm not saying you don't have an ego. I'm just saying in this instance for being aware. It's not the thing that's talking. It's not the thing that's talking.
00:09:05
Speaker
also eco. Well, it could be. Yeah. But also you all have told me this too. This isn't just me making things up. No. So I am special. She is our golden shade. Okay. But how old are you? Who are you? What do you do? Like, are you a baker? Um, candlestick maker? That's what I was going to say. I'm trying to tee it up.
00:09:29
Speaker
We actually didn't even talk about this with you or with me. Let's put her on the hot plate right now. Hot plate? Hot seat? Hot seat? No, the hot plate. I want to make you jump like a Mexican jumping bean. Are you going to denature me? We're going to sizzle you. How old are you Maggie? The poor little three legged creature is trying to jump. Don't talk about the amputee.
00:09:54
Speaker
He is just as able as everybody else. Sorry, aren't we talking about me? Oh, yes, we are. We are. Okay. Mad 18. She's 18. I don't know. Maggie, you're in college. Where do we go to college? I don't want them to find me. Okay.
History and Humor of Pet Ownership
00:10:08
Speaker
We won't ask you. Them? Who's them? There's no one listening. Maggie's 18. Not right now. You're half of the people listening.
00:10:16
Speaker
I'm literally our half of the people. Maggie is 18. She is in her freshman year of college. I have an unnamed location. Unnamed vocation. Doing an unnamed major. Yes. Do you want to be unnamed major? Well, right now. I think it's really pretty, okay. Well, okay.
00:10:34
Speaker
What are you actively, what are you, what are you involved in? He got up on a chair all by himself. Very proud of him and is cleaning his stump because he still has no idea why it's gone. Back to Maggie. Back to me. Okay. What was the question? What are you doing in college?
00:11:02
Speaker
Cool, don't ask me that. Okay, what are you claiming to do in college? I am currently studying, well, yes, I'm currently studying theatrical technology and design. Shut up, don't give me that face. Don't say shut up, that's a frickin' brilliant thing to study and design. She made a face, no, no, she stuck her tongue out of it. I think, I struck my tongue out because the way you said it.
00:11:24
Speaker
was bullshit because it was the you know, I am very proud of my sister in every you are. I think we need to think that you only should be attracted to the person you're dating 50% of the time. Okay, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's for private. That's for private. Let's let the spotlight back around. And because we didn't ever actually talk about what you're studying, Rebecca.
00:11:50
Speaker
Well, no, I thought we never really know. We've never talked about it, but I thought that we were saying that my dearest egghead daughter. I know. I feel like we were talking about this earlier tonight that I'm the perfect 50 50 split of both of my parents and you and mom both technically studied science.
00:12:10
Speaker
Okay, I object. Okay, my mother... I don't. I'll allow it. My mother is a brilliant woman. She studied biology in college in the Honors Program. And my father is an idiot. No. Yep. My father... Hold on. With degree though, I have full degree in... An idiot with honors. Yep, it's called political science. So studied science as well, two scientists.
00:12:39
Speaker
And the family lore says that I'm a poli-sci mage. Oh, God. I'm a wizard. You're a wizard. Yeah. But I followed in my parents' footsteps. And I followed in my mother's footsteps. Your mother's footsteps. And I'm majoring in biochemistry. So I had nerd, just like my father has said.
00:13:05
Speaker
I think we were trying to introduce our guest. I was just wondering, how did we get to this? We got to that because we were forcing Maggie to answer questions that you never had to answer. That's true. And I feel like it's only fair. Well, that's the, that's the benefit of being a host. You get to ask questions, but not most like, you know, most of the time you get to just escape out of them answering. Yeah. You get to be elusive.
00:13:34
Speaker
elusive and enigmatic. Oh, see, she should be. Listen, listen, she should be a writer. Look at how perfectly eggy my head is. Yeah, it's definitely a hard cooked yolk. I don't like soft boiled things. Well, there you go. She is in college. I'm a little more scrambled than she's scrambled and and she's a nerd. So scrambled and yet still runny.
00:14:03
Speaker
in your pipe and smoke it. All right. All right. So I already played my, my little jest of let's talk about pets, baby. Um, so I did prepare, I did prepare a little bit of notes around pets. Our theme is our topic is pets.
00:14:32
Speaker
Hey, hey ladies. Sorry. We're talking about baby. This is the problem. I got hot. You two are going to go off the rails. This is the problem with having both of your, both of your only two daughters trying to do both of the only two because we are besties and obsessed with each other. You let me do a brief, a brief narrative because I, I researched, I did,
00:15:01
Speaker
my shallow dive into pets. Hey folks, did you know that the experience of humans and animals can be tracked back to around 12,000 years ago? That's about when the first humans and animals bonded in a specific way that looks
00:15:32
Speaker
somewhat like what pets are to us. What did those first experiences look like? Well, initially it was hunter gatherers that started to feed the dogs, the wolves that were circling their camps on a regular basis. And they would throw extra food out there and then
00:16:01
Speaker
the dogs, the wolves would come in and they eventually became sort of acclimated to these human camps. And it wasn't like they were pets at that point, but they were there getting fed and then providing a little bit of protection because they knew they could get fed and they were going to defend that camp from other predatory packs.
00:16:32
Speaker
And so that was the very beginning of domestication of an animal. The dog domestication is the earliest form of a pet that we know from both, I guess I would say genetic and anthropological record. Yeah, I know those are big words. Those are not shallow. Those are deep dive words. Those are not shallow end words.
00:17:02
Speaker
The next step I would also say is that cats are also involved. Cats became domesticated in a way where they were attracted to civilization and they provided a benefit to humans because they love taking care of little critters, right? So little critters are a huge vector of disease.
00:17:31
Speaker
And so when little critters get taken out because you have hunters of little critters around, that means disease is reduced. And then all of a sudden, societies go, hey, cats are from the gods. Yes. And the Egyptians deified cats. Just like I do. Yes, just like we do.
00:17:59
Speaker
So those are some of the very basics of how did we get to the point where we have these crazy experiences and relationships with animals in our homes? Yes.
00:18:15
Speaker
And that's as shallow a dive as we can do. That's a pretty deep shallow dive. I just wanted to give a little bit of background because it means that we have thousands and thousands of years of experiences with these things. I mean, it makes sense that we as humans, as we evolved,
00:18:34
Speaker
made relationship with the animals that continue to be around us. I think that is a completely normal response. I would like to add, as a fun little fun fact, the oldest known cat breed is the Egyptian mau. There you go. That makes sense. And it really sounds like, mau. They said, what the fuck is that? They said, mau. We are cool. Thanks. Speak of the devil.
00:18:59
Speaker
Call her that. She's a sweet angel that never does anything. Well, one of our frequent guests has stepped into the room. We now have two of the three cats in the home, in the room right now. So we are blessed by the gums. Nervous in a corner. Yeah, she's probably upstairs. We don't even have any critters for them. No. We gotta get on that.
00:19:19
Speaker
I don't think I know. Well, I my two boys at the apartment we get a lot of stink bugs in my apartment because I like to keep the windows open for them and also for me and my mental well because you're a cold bitch. Fuck. Yeah. Because she's a toasty bitch. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually a better way of saying all the time because you're a toast. Yeah. I overheat all the time and I like will put my fiery bitch flaming bitch. I'll put my heat all the way down. Maggie's brain.
00:19:49
Speaker
as far as it can go. And I'm still overheating, so I open my windows all the time. So I get stink bugs in my apartment, and I will oftentimes bring my young cats, pick them up and point their noses in the direction of a bug. And they'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't care. I think they've been too domesticated. They really have. They're just wimpy little babies that I've left them so much. But that's the definition of a pet. Yes. A wimpy little baby that you love so much. Yes.
00:20:18
Speaker
Isn't that what a boyfriend is?
Podcast Growth and Technical Glitches
00:20:21
Speaker
No, different podcast topic. Wow. We'll have to have you back real soon. Okay. And also, um, don't share this with certain people. Wow. So we've already, hi Colby. Hello. Say hi. Nice pot.
00:20:45
Speaker
Oh, okay. It's weird. He's not even going to say hi. Fourth guest refuses to say a word. Oh wait, he's going to rip it. That's a gunshot to a listener. So we now have our official second guest. Yes. Oh, come on. He took my thunder.
00:21:06
Speaker
No, second guest. I know. He'll always episode. He just he just popped a can of beer. Maggie will always be our first and most important guest. Also, the episode I'm guessing. I'm hoping to get Mr. Finch's in here. Well, no, he's not gonna be most more important than you. He will be more. Who is? He will be longer.
00:21:32
Speaker
It'll be a four-hour podcast because you just won't let it fucking die but I'm hoping to get Obama. So at that point, you're gonna be not as significant. I will easily be second to Obama. We're all second to Obama. I'm just saying, I've got goals. I love that. Manifesting that. Yeah, I mean we're manifesting everything. Speaking of manifesting, we were watching the
00:22:01
Speaker
The podcast listens last week. Oh my god. I got really excited for like a minute. He sent me a text, I think the literal day after we published our last episode. Right. And I was, what? No, I was still on spring break. So I was literally doing nothing, just sitting alone in my parents' house, going insane with nothing to do. And he texts me.
00:22:30
Speaker
We have 300 listens on our most recent episode. And we're averaging like 15 for our other episode. Stop it. That's pretty good. No, we were happy, overjoyed with 15. For two freaks in the Midwest just talking about things over.
00:22:48
Speaker
we don't we don't have expectations anyways just imagine 15 people sitting here listening yes that's great exactly so i was already excited that anybody was listening and then he my father texted me 300 listens and i fucking lost it
00:23:06
Speaker
So for about five minutes, I was having visions of, you know, again, opening for Taylor Swift. And then I think realism strikes back into my brain. And I'm like, this is bullshit. There's no way we can trust these numbers. And then I was like, and then I got into a little bit of like diabetic shock or something like that. I was like, I need, I need food. I need something because it can't be right. And sure. It's not. It was like one hour.
00:23:36
Speaker
Somebody was button mashing or some kind of technical thing happened. I said, can we trust these numbers? And you said, let me check each of the individual locations and see what our listens are there. They were all pretty average for what we were expecting. So we concluded that the 300 listens in one hour were probably not an accurate. So those of you who are listening need to assume that.
00:24:05
Speaker
We value you so highly. We really do. Like seriously, it sounds so cheesy, but really every like taking viewership that I see, I feel like I've like gained a bud. You know, like it's very fun. We are so it's very fun. We are just doing this for ourselves. But the more we do it, I feel like the more we're like,
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah, we do believe in it. We want people to listen to us. Yes, because we think that what we're saying is something that we stand behind, but also, if there are people out there that agree with what we're saying, we would love to have them. It's like a thing that everybody should be. If you agree with the shit that we say on a weekly, I don't know, basis, we definitely want to know you, you know? Like, you're something that we would get along with. Shit, we decided to do religion.
00:25:05
Speaker
as our third episode. And we've decided to introduce Maggie in our fourth episode and I'm not sure the world is ready for Maggie. Well, I think the world should be ready. I think she's our strongest guest that we could possibly have on. I think that if there were any personality that we know that we could bring on the podcast and have
00:25:28
Speaker
America, name, the world, fall in love with her, it would be Maddie. The whole universe. Let's spread this. The aliens will love Maddie. We're not going to start talking about the gospel of Maddie. Oh, that's the next episode. What do you have to say about Maddie? We're just going to jump into it? I know. That was like a hard
00:25:56
Speaker
Hard left turn right there. What's your pet gospel? By the way, we're 25 minutes in and that is the topic. I know. I was just thinking. We need to talk about pets or we're not going to talk about pets. Baby. Let's talk about pets anyways. We did talk about that move. Free. Yeah, we did. Try not over there. No, we don't need to talk about it. Pets. I like that. I think we're good. Wow, that's a really good comment. Hey, hold on.
00:26:24
Speaker
Hold on, I'm getting somewhere. You gave me nothing to worry about, so I'm building it myself. What are you looking at? What's going on? What's going on? I'm trying to sign language. Maggie's sitting a little bit farther away from the mic than my co-host and I are, so I'm hoping that... Is this close enough?
00:26:54
Speaker
What if I just talk louder? We believe Zencaster will fix it up. Oh, Zencaster will fix it up. Stop it! You can't say shit about our... We make money off of them.
00:27:15
Speaker
Oh my God. Dad's making millions. He's making millions. And he's not sure. Well, we're not. We've not introduced ad breaks yet. Well, you introduced our sponsor. Well, we do. We have a sponsor, but that's just for us. That's for our wine enjoyment. For money. For me. But the money is for us. Oh my God. We have to move on.
00:27:44
Speaker
No, you won't guess. I know. Eventually we'll pay a guess. You can get me money. No, you won't. Especially not me. Tell me what you think about this. I have lived with them my whole life. I am baffled that people live in houses where you don't just hear a thump and go, oh, that's normal. Like you can hear a dish breaking and not think of demonic possessions. Oh my god.
00:28:14
Speaker
Am I allowed to think of my cats as demonic possession? Yes. No, that's just demons. It's not possession. Demons are there living with you. Nobody is being overtaken. That's always heaviest. And I think they're very kind sometimes. And demons?
00:28:38
Speaker
Stay on topic, Rebecca. I'll get to that later. You guys changed the subject. No, we're trying to stay on the subject. No, no. I just said something about demons. Oh, anyways. Slightly related. Okay. Okay.
00:28:59
Speaker
How many pets? Okay, I was gonna say, I can't keep freestyling. No, no, no. How many pets have you known? In my life? Okay, let's think about it. I didn't know Demetri. And what kind of pets are they? Always cats. They're all cats, right? Some fish. We've had a whole host of them. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. This introduces a very, very special touch. Can I please tell this story? I'm not gonna finish my thoughts. Please, please.
00:29:29
Speaker
Just attacked her. All right, hold on. I gotta go defend a cat shitter speaking of cats That's why he jumped out. Yeah peek behind the curtain here. We So we have three cats in the house right now two of them are
00:29:52
Speaker
Any subset of two generally get along other than one specific subset of two, which is the tripod and the angry bitch. She's just nervous. Neurotic bitch, sorry. She's very paranoid. She was not raised right. She's a lovely, lovely human being.
00:30:19
Speaker
She's not a human
Pet Preferences and Family Dynamics
00:30:21
Speaker
being. Lovely, lovely little creature, but she is not. She doesn't know how to stand up to the boy. This is some good podcast listening right now. I know. We're doing a great job. Whatever. Anyway. Gold. All right. Well, we were talking about fish, I do believe. Yeah. Tell the fish story. Okay. My mother has not
00:30:47
Speaker
appeared on the podcast yet. I don't think she ever will. I think she might just be a folktale in the shallow end lore, folklore. A shadow in the shallow end? For real. She really is. She is truly the most impressive person I've ever known in my life. She's everything I ever hoped to be.
00:31:10
Speaker
No, I've already called her brilliant and you a dumbass. I think you can probably agree with me though that she's a very impressive person. I can also be a little bit thought hurt right now. She's a very impressive person. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever known. She's my mommy and she is a bitch. I love her. She hates
00:31:38
Speaker
many, many things, but specifically fish that her children have won in a carnival that she now has to take care of. So my younger brother won a goldfish in a carnival game and came home. My poor mother with, I think five children at the time, five young children that she was homeschooling.
00:32:03
Speaker
And one of her sons brought a fish home. So I mean, she did a great job. Raised this fish as if it were her own. Her own fish born from her womb. What was the name? What was the name? Coco. Co. Co. Co. I forgot. Because the son that brought it home is Colby. So he named the fish. Oh, also the one that just went. Oh, yeah. The drunkard. The drunkard. It says the people with wine in the description of their podcast.
00:32:33
Speaker
Yeah, probably another enigmatic participant in our podcast. Well, eventually he, that boy has a lot of thoughts. Yeah. And a lot of opinions. Yes. And he sure does. We'll see. Anyway, this fucking fish lived for like 10 years, like goldfish, one at a carnival would not die. And then one tragic day co passed away and we had a funeral for a fish, um, you know, mourned his passing.
00:33:03
Speaker
And then natural causes, I mean, it's an old goldfish, they die. One at a carnival. About six years later, our mother confessed to us unemotionally that she poured bleach into Coe's tank because he wouldn't die and she was sick of cleaning up his tank and feeding him. So pro tip, kids. Don't win a fish at a carnival.
00:33:30
Speaker
If someone tries to convince you that a fish died of natural causes but it's literally dissolving in its tank, that's not natural causes. Maybe question that. Someone's bleaching the shit out of that fish. Somebody has bleached your goldfish. Also, what a horrible way to die. What a bad way to go. Our mother is a cold ass mother fucker. She does what needs to get done. She's such a badass.
00:34:01
Speaker
Itchy hates goldfish. Not the only fish we've had in this house, not the only goldfish. I had a goldfish for several years and I got it from a science classroom. But you took care of it. I took care of it. I went out and I bought that tank and I bought her stuff for in the tank and I bought the filter and I bought the food and I took care of that fish on my own. This was after seventh grade. Wow. I had a fish named Mira.
00:34:27
Speaker
And it was an orange and white, beautiful, stunning, pretty freaking large goldfish. Yeah, pretty good size. And she lived for a while. And then she died because she was already pretty old when she came to Maine. But you had her for like a year, at least. Two, I think. Two years. Two years. OK, so Mira actually did die of natural causes. She actually did die of natural causes. So Mira's not the mother. She was not bleached out of anger. OK, so I think that
00:34:58
Speaker
And that's a lovely, good, positive story. But I think that we can assume from these two stories, fish are not the ideal pet. No. At least for us. You also can't pet them. What's up with that? You can't pet a pet? Well, is that what's required? Are you required? Yes. OK. So I think if you own an animal, you should be able to pet it. I disagree.
00:35:23
Speaker
What animals do you think you should be able to own and not pet? I don't think it's animal specific. I think that when you adopt an animal, you're not adopting them and requiring that they be physically available to you. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Not what I'm saying. For example, if I adopted a reactionary elderly dog because they had been abused for their life, I'd be like, I'm adopting you to give you
00:35:52
Speaker
safe space to live the rest of your life out. And if you don't want me to touch you, that's fine. But I do think that I would never adopt an animal that by default as an organism didn't want me to touch it. That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to ... I think it's
00:36:10
Speaker
Again, a little bit different because a dog can move around. It can follow you around the house. A fish, that's just in a tank. It's a thing sitting in another thing doing fish things, which really aren't that interesting. I'll give you a hint. It's just swimming. All they do is swim.
00:36:29
Speaker
freaking amazing. Yes, there are some exceptions. I will say the eel pit guy on TikTok. Oh, I would have an eel. Oh my God. I would do that. And I would enjoy having a bunch of eels in a scary basement. Dad, have you seen this guy? I have not. Oh my God. She said the words Tiltok.
00:36:48
Speaker
Okay. Well, that's point. I don't care about eel pit. I'm all in on eel pit, but take time. I'll tell you about this. Listen. So it's a guy who is not allowed to look at. Listen to eel. Listen. Okay. Wow. The eel pit is this guy. They're not stroking me to calm me down. Ew. Ew. No. Shut the fuck up. Anyways to the eel man. So whoa. Whoa. So
00:37:16
Speaker
This eel pit, it's a guy who has in his basement, you go down, I'm pretty sure it's a ladder and not stairs, like a metal ladder. Yeah, it's really scary. You get to this like concrete pad and surrounding the concrete pad is water. It's like an entire giant basement that is dark.
00:37:35
Speaker
And it just sounds like water. It's like three inches of water. It's like this much water is in there. So like a foot of water. Is this an Indiana Jones movie? There are eels in this. This is an Indiana Jones movie. There are like six eels and a bunch of like other fish as well. And he goes down and he feeds them and he named them and he can tell them apart even though it's one slippery tube.
00:38:00
Speaker
versus another slippery tube. But also all of the videos that we receive of this man in his eel pit are just so scary. All of the lights are turned off and we're just seeing it from the flash on his phone. Oh, I don't like it. Why is this popular? It's very scary. It's really terrifying.
00:38:16
Speaker
I think that eel pit guy should meet the one lady who's digging like a tunnel in her basement. This is another TikTok person. Okay, okay, not the top. We won't talk about mine. They do have pets. Well, one of them has pets, multiple eels. Yes. Eels. But Maggie and I agree that we would not want eels as pets. One of them is named Crunchwrap Supreme, I think.
00:38:39
Speaker
Can we also agree that this is not a TikTok podcast? No. But we just felt we needed to talk about it. I just had to make the fish exception for Eels. Are Eels fish? Are you going to talk about pets, baby? Yes, yes. Okay, good. Eels are fish. Eels are fish. Let's talk about our good pets. So what are the best pets? Not cats. Cats. Cats. Also raptors.
00:39:05
Speaker
Raptors. Sorry. Not dinosaur, but like birds. Hang on though, because I was going to talk about this when dad was giving his weird historical like dog and cat thing. I was going to talk about how we are in, I think the middle ground of that domestication with at least crows and ravens. Yeah, I think they're going to be. Because I live, my apartment complex is like
00:39:31
Speaker
Barely in the town. It's like on the edge of a wooding like wooded area. Yeah, and there are hella crows like
00:39:42
Speaker
I'm trying to make friends with them and I keep leaving out like I googled things that crows like to eat because if you make friends with a bunch of crows, they're smart enough. They're creepy smart. I want them to remember me. So I started leaving out stuff for them. But the problem is I already have like two bird feeders on my balcony.
00:40:02
Speaker
So the squirrels already know where to come. And also you have two male cats that want to just eat the shit out of those birds. Oh my god, no, they get scared of the garbage truck. Hey, I'd be scared of the garbage truck too if I were a tiny cat. If they saw a crow on our balcony, they would lose their shit.
00:40:20
Speaker
I agree that we're pretty close to domestication with crows and ravens because today I showed you guys the video. I saw a dancing raven. It was in just an office in a nature center. There was a sign outside the door that said look into the door of our through the window of our office and there's a raven there and I did and there was a raven there. And it was bouncing and it was dancing and it only started dancing when I started looking through the window.
00:40:49
Speaker
because when I first started looking it didn't notice me because it was facing the other way and it was just sitting there watching the turkey vulture that was loose in the room as well on the ground walking around so then it saw me and started dancing so to what extent is that behavior just uh
00:41:11
Speaker
I'm a sad bird and I would really love it if you would let me out. Instead of a pet kind of expression. The sign also said we have him in here right now so that he can see people and get used to seeing them because he's still nervous around people and for him to be out in like the
00:41:35
Speaker
larger enclosures that are viewable by people. He needs to get more comfortable with that. What kind of bird was it? A raven. It was a big ass raven. I was not expecting it to be that big. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. And I had the brief thought like this bird is dancing at me. I wonder if he's trying to mate with me.
00:41:55
Speaker
And then I decided that probably not. And I think what it was is he liked that every time he bounced, the little stand he was on would tip to one side or the other because it was uneven on the ground. And he liked to tip and then land on the side that had just moved.
00:42:13
Speaker
But you only did that when someone was looking at him. When viewed, yeah. The opposite of atoms, right? That's a very interesting science. Hang on. That's a very interesting science. The way you left made me think it wrong. No, you were very right. You're very right. Are we in the deep end? No, it's not. It's the interaction of light based on its observation or nonon. I got to throw floaties in.
00:42:43
Speaker
You guys gotta stop. Wait, wait, wait. But there's like a, no. That's a different topic. Isn't it like the double slit experiment? It is. Okay. It is. But it's a different topic. We're talking about X. We're talking about this. It's quantum physics and light. Not equipped to do that. The way that light is both. Let's talk about cats. Okay. Yes. We are very much a cat family. We are a cat family. I could never be a dog family. I don't agree. Disagree. Disagree. Disagree.
00:43:13
Speaker
I'm not a dog person. Well, I, okay. So I have a boyfriend who is very much like a dog person, like both person as in a person that's like a dog or a person that likes dogs. I was going to say, dad, mute your thing. Okay. Sorry. I have a boyfriend that is both the epitome of a dog and also a dog person, but
00:43:42
Speaker
He also owns cats. So I think he's the perfect version of a person, like a cat person who also likes dogs. The perfect version of a person. Well, we'll bring him on. Yes. The producer. It's our producer Chase. Stop it. That was, that's got to spoil everything. You already called him the producer several times and they know that he's her boyfriend. We didn't spoil anything. That connection was not ever made. Yes, it was. Super producer. It was made in the first episode. Was it?
00:44:11
Speaker
Oh my god, super fan is really good. There are only three other episodes. So I don't know. I know you guys outside of this podcast, believe it or not. This is not how I met them. This is not how I thought we need to get back on the topic. Well, anyway, um, we intend on having dogs in our future, but we both also
00:44:36
Speaker
I think, I don't know this about him, but I'm pretty sure I'm right. We both prefer cats as like a default pet. Okay. Because I think cats are much more of a pet than dogs are because dogs are much more of a child than a pet. Oh, let's, I know. I dropped some heat right there. That's a great. Yeah. Dogs are. Oh yeah. Okay.
00:45:02
Speaker
Ooh, dad's having some... So if your boyfriend is like a dog, what does that say about you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are very much golden retriever, black cat relationship.
00:45:13
Speaker
which I think is perfect for both of us. It's not a judgment. What you're saying is if your relationship is cat, it's really easy. And if it's dog, it's needy. What? No. No, I'm saying he is. If it's a dog, it's friendly. And if it's a cat, it's bitchy. Oh, wow. Which is exactly, he's very friendly and I'm very bitchy and it works. Every time he meets anyone, he comes back to me and he's like, I made a friend. I'm like, of course you did. Yeah, I know. Everybody loves you. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You're perfect.
00:45:43
Speaker
My real point about this cat versus dog thing is who cleans up the poop? Is it scooping it out of the litter or is it having to go out into the yard and cleaning it up out into the world? I think cleaning up dog poop is so much worse because you have to pick it up while it's still hot and squishy.
00:46:04
Speaker
I mean, you don't necessarily have to let it dry out. Also something that's very interesting. If you want your lawn to look okay, at least I care about my lawn. Oh, okay. Something that's interesting about, um, kittens versus puppies is that with puppies, you have to house train them. They're not housebroken by default. And a lot of the time it's an extensive training.
00:46:34
Speaker
Montage? Nope. An extensive, you know, month- I don't have music for that. Sorry. Month-long. Unless you want more song. The house breaking, a puppy training montage. Yeah. Month-long process of training a dog. Do you have that version for the cats that live in this house right now? Because they seem to be losing their- That's a different problem. But kittens, a lot of the time people will, you know, rescue kittens.
00:47:03
Speaker
from a very young age and cats like literally by default know to search for a place like litter box to do their business. So pretty much base model, our house broken. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to get any DLCs or anything. They look for the dirt. I'm not saying they're better. I'm just saying they're better at peeing. They are better. They are better. Cats are better.
00:47:28
Speaker
I mean, they also don't give a fuck about you. I know, I love them. But that's also kind of cool. Yeah, dogs will be really sad if you don't pay attention to them and they will get health issues. Cats, if you don't pay attention to them, will be so happy. I just don't like the constant wag.
00:47:48
Speaker
I just don't like, like they need the constant need. I do, but I like feeling needed. Yes. I was going to say, yeah. But from a human being, not a fricking animal. Also from an animal standpoint. Yeah. But, but you want it as a cat, not a dog. That's what you're saying. You prefer it from a cat.
00:48:10
Speaker
I prefer it from a cat, yes, but I also would enjoy it from a dog. I like both of them, and I've always said that. Yeah, she has. It's a personality type, I think. It is. You guys are introverts. Are hamsters okay? I would never own a hamster because that thing would kill itself in one day. Dude, they die from the weirdest shit. Because you hate it? Or why would it kill itself in one day?
00:48:35
Speaker
when we were at our cousin's house. That hamster was getting genuinely, I kid you not, thrown around. Yeah, she threw that thing. She tossed it. And it also fell off the bed. She picked it up. First of all, she brought it out of the cage and just put it on the bed and was like, look at it. And we were like, should it not be out here, right? Yeah, we were like dogs. This has got tiny feet and you have crazy tiny little white dogs that will eat this. Oh yeah, for sure.
00:49:03
Speaker
And she picked it up and was like, watch this, and dropped it from like three feet in the air. And it like bounced sound stops. And we were like, the two of us were like, oh my God, what the fuck happened? Maybe there should have been some supervision involved in this. I think that hamster's dead now. For sure it is.
00:49:22
Speaker
And there definitely should have been some, you know. So this brings up one of my general questions is like, what is a pet and what isn't a pet? Like what's allowed to be a pet? What can we think of? I think I'm hearing like a fish isn't really a pet in the sense that we're talking. And I was talking about this with mom the other day and this is the distinction I made.
00:49:53
Speaker
a pet should be able to give back in some way. Yes. That's why we were talking about naming things actually and she said, well, here's something. Don't get into the naming yet. She said, here's something I don't get, why people name plants and cars. And I said, okay, I don't get plants. I do get cars. You're getting into the naming. I'm going to get into the naming, dad. We're already 50 minutes in if we don't get into it now. Well, we're going to, okay, but my concern is that I have to
00:50:22
Speaker
I also have to be, wow guys. So I think that, no, I think that, I think that I want you to finish, uh, any thought you have about what is, what is and is not a pet. And then we're going to talk about naming after, after our bathroom and ad break. Okay. So a couple of these things I, um, maybe this is just from the standpoint of somebody who has never owned one of these animals, but I think things that are not pets, things like,
00:50:51
Speaker
turtles turtles can't love you i think um any kind of bugs i know crazy people own like these giant scary hissing roaches that thing is not a pet and like tarantulas that's a creature but it's not a pet right um yeah tarantulas
00:51:10
Speaker
And you have a responsibility for that creature. Yeah, you are responsible for that creature, but it can't really give back to you in any way. It's fish, not pets. It's more of a research project than a pet. Yeah, you're studying it. Or you're just caring for it. It's not a pet at that point. It's a curio. Curio. It's a chachki. It's a living chachki. A living chachki. And on that note, we're going to break before we talk about names.
Philosophical Musings on Pets
00:51:40
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the shallow end ad portion sponsored by sitting in the basement with your father and sister drinking wine and three-legged ginger cats
00:52:01
Speaker
Thank you to our sponsors. And please, consider supporting them. This program is brought to you by viewers like you. Thank you. We all feel way better. And actually, we have our third feline. Third and final. Third and final feline.
00:52:29
Speaker
a member of the household that has made at least a brief appearance. She's gonna go shit. She's gone. Yeah. She's gone. What were we talking about? We officially have all three pets in the house that have made an appearance. Yes, that's true. So that's very exciting. Well, what we were talking about, we had just finished defining what was and was not a pet is and is not a pet.
00:52:59
Speaker
And then we're going to talk about names. Oh, the naming of the pet. I told you I'd remember. Thank you. This is why Maggie's the best guest ever. Hell yeah. She keeps us on task. Pet names. Yes. How do you come up with a pet name? Apparently, nowadays, whatever. Doesn't matter how or what the name is. I think that's always been true. I think it's always been
00:53:28
Speaker
Honestly, you kind of have to get out of jail free card with naming a pet. Okay, I'm okay. Let's start let's start with this with you two Give me your top three Dog names Regardless of I don't have no no. No, I don't care We've already established that I'm the only one that prepared anything. This is again. No, I actually have a
00:53:58
Speaker
point of like opinion on this. I don't think that you can prepare. I'm getting shut down. I agree. I don't think that you can prepare names for anything. I think people that have prepared baby names are weird. Yeah. I think that. Oh shit. I really do. I think that people that have prepared pet names are weird. You're lucky that your mother is two floors up right now. No, she would, she would not shut me down on this. She might disagree with me, but she would respect me.
00:54:28
Speaker
Because this is what I think. Because Chase and I have had discussions about this. He already knows what he wants to name his future dog. No, no, no. Future dog. Don't worry. I have a bruise right there. We're on the same page with babies. He already knows what he wants to name his future dog. And he's asked me before, like, what do you think you want to name your dog? And I'm like, I don't know yet. I need to meet the animal. Yeah. I can't find an animal and assign a name. I have to.
00:54:59
Speaker
meet and know the personality. That's what you did with your two boys. Yes. Can I, can I, um, okay. No, no, it's not good. It's not good. It's not good content. All right. So it's from my old man perspective, it's very much like, how do you name a child? It's for me, you have to meet the animal.
00:55:31
Speaker
And then you'll know. Okay, cool. That sounds so satisfying to me. It is. Thank you. Yeah. And yet. Okay. Your pets have so many names. Yeah. Well, they have names are a different thing. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. They have two. Each of them have one legal name. Legal name.
00:56:00
Speaker
Yes. They got ID? At the vet. They do. At the vet. Honestly, it's weird because one of them- They can travel internationally. It's all okay. Well, okay. So I have two cats. They are brothers. They're litter mates. Little tuxedo boys. Little tuxedo boys and- Litter mates. That means that they were born in the same litter box. Yes. Right? Yep. Pood it out amongst- Oh.
00:56:27
Speaker
Yeah, but one of them, I call by his actual name most of the time, and the other one, I almost never call by his full name. So I called Basil, Basil, a lot. I don't. But Jay, I never call him Blue Jay, you know, which is his legal name, it's Blue Jay. Uh-huh. But it's only ever Baby Jay. Oh, I'm aware. Or Jay Bird, or Baby Bird. You're making my point, buddy.
00:56:57
Speaker
Or birdie boy. He's a very special. Mr. Tubbs. Oh my god, how many more? It's so many. I could go on for hours. Basil's nickname. Basil has a lot too. And Maggie, you are the queen of names. I am. Every pet has like 18 names. It's like a litany. It's like a song that you can sing about each pet. It is.
00:57:28
Speaker
why can't they just be a name? That's Fred. He's got three legs. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Because Maggie's name is Magdalene, but we call her Maggie and I call her Min or Mimsy or Miggle or Miggle Delaney or Migsy or, you know, like she is also a person with a name, but I call her a billion different things. So,
00:57:55
Speaker
Okay. It's the same concept. It's when you know somebody and love them and have known them long enough, they have a lot of different things that you call them. I think this is a normal progression of relationships with them. So if I live on a farm and I have my pet pig. Well, is it a pet pig or is it your pig on your farm? That's what I'm saying. That's where I'm trying to go. If I have my pet pig,
00:58:24
Speaker
but my pet pig name is only pig. Then it's not really a pet. No, I'm kind of grooving with that though. I don't know. I think pig is kind of a sleigh. That is a sleigh. Just naming a pig pig. Well, if I have that. Come on. Let's okay. Maybe I, I set that up wrong.
00:58:46
Speaker
Because I just drew you into the Charlotte's web. Yes. I immediately thought of Wilbur. Because you said, I have a pet pig. Wilbur the speaking pig. If you had said, I live on a farm and there's a pig in my care.
00:59:08
Speaker
in my possession and its name is pig. I would have been like, okay, it was that little pig. It was like, what was it? One swell pig, one swell pig. Well, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the big fat roll around in mind. No, it depends. It depends. It depends on the context. Did the person get the pig with the, with the idea of I own a farm and I'm buying a pig for my farm.
00:59:35
Speaker
Or did they think I'm lonely and I want to pick, look at this pig. It's so cute. I need to save it and own it and love it forever. And I'm naming it pig because it's so cute and pig, you know, it depends. Here you go. This is where we get, what's a pet and what's a pet is subjective.
00:59:56
Speaker
So a pet can never be food is really what you're saying. True. A pet can never be food because if, if a pet is a pet, it will never be food. And if a pet is food, it was never a pet. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Or at least if you have it, we've just lost the entire farmer community with the intention of it being food. I don't think it's a pet. However, I do know people who had pet chickens,
01:00:22
Speaker
And when the chickens died, you're not just going to get rid of it. That's neat, right? That's true. No, I disagree. I disagree. That wasn't a pet if you eat it. Yes. All right. If a pet dies and you go might as well eat it, it was never a pet. I had my soul cat die. Well, you don't eat cats. People eat cats. Well, you don't.
01:00:45
Speaker
She's talking about it. It's not normalized chicken pats. Which is why I would never buy a chicken as a pet because I eat it. But if somebody bought a chicken as a pet and was like, I don't eat chickens because I own one as a pet, and then the pet died,
01:01:04
Speaker
And they were like, well, might as well eat it. Then that was never a pet. Okay. So I think that there's nuance to this though. And I think Maggie is giving us a little bit of nuance because she grew up, she spent sixth grade at a farm school where she had a chicken, a pet chicken under my care, who I named and I cared for. And I spent time with every day. Yeah. And I cleaned her coop and I gave her food and I took her eggs and I sold them.
01:01:34
Speaker
And also, I actually, I don't think she ever, I, not while I was there, at least she did not die. So I don't know what happened to her after she died, but a lot of people's chickens died over the year. It was a class of 60 kids. Each kid had their own personal chicken and some people's chickens died. And we sold them for meat because that on a farm.
01:02:00
Speaker
is that's me. That's what you do. Okay. Hang on. Let me say my thing because I think if I were, if I had an animal in my care that I saw as this is an animal that I'm caring for, but it is at the end of the day, an animal that we raise for sustenance. I wouldn't see it as a pet, but
01:02:27
Speaker
If I had an animal that I was like, this is my pet chicken, it lives in my house, it comes into my bed and sleeps with me at night, I wouldn't keep eating other chicken. I wouldn't be able to have a pet and also eat the meat of the same species. Now you sound like your mother. So I think that if you have an animal in your home and are also eating other animals of that same species, that's not your pet.
01:02:57
Speaker
Well, I think that because you see it as food, you can't see a pet as food and also see it as a pet. And I think that is like, I'm never going to be convinced otherwise. Okay. Well, I think that you have a perspective that is very, uh, it's, it's very, uh, a very luxurious perspective because I think that people who have raised animals
01:03:20
Speaker
for a living, not necessarily for a living, but like as a natural, like what they do, they own a farm, they have cows, they have chickens, they have goats, whatever.
01:03:36
Speaker
they are allowed to have relationships with a pig or a chicken or a cow, and they can build significance in that and also appreciate the idea that when that animal dies, it's also going to be used, like that's meat for us. Yes, and I agree.
01:04:03
Speaker
But that's my point. You can have respect for an animal for the role that they play in the circle of the community life circle of life. Yeah. The community that you've built in nature, you know, like you can have respect for, you know, the animals that you eat care for, you know, whatever.
01:04:32
Speaker
But I think that once you eat the thing that you have cared for, it's like that was never a pet because I can never think, oh my God, my two little baby kittens.
01:04:47
Speaker
I could never imagine them dying and being like, well, they're dead, you know, might as well, you know, cook them up. Hell no. Oh my God. Hell no. And no, not a chance in hell. I couldn't do that. Not a chance. I couldn't do that either. Like when people are like, Oh, it's my pet cow.
01:05:03
Speaker
But, you know, when he dies, I'm gonna have a steak. It's like, no, he was never your pet. He was just an animal that you cared for and respected. That's our definition. There you go. Our definition is a pet is an animal you wouldn't eat after it dies. Yeah, an animal you are hanging out with, taken care of, and you would never eat it when it dies. And you would definitely never slaughter it. Oh my God. But what would you name it?
01:05:31
Speaker
And how many names are allowed? If you had a chicken. How many names are okay? Oh, as many as you, as many as you come up with. Really? Yes. Yes. Anything is a name now. This is actually another thing I was talking with mom about. Okay. I think naming conventions, and I'm going specifically for cats right now because that's what I'm most familiar with. Naming conventions for pet cats have changed so drastically over the last 10 to 15 years.
01:06:01
Speaker
with the rise of millennials being pet owners, and naming their cats things like Sir Fluffington the third, or Potato, or Mr. Fuzzypants. I think that's very millennial, and that was accepted and funny.
01:06:21
Speaker
pet owners, Gen Z pet owners, are naming their pets ridiculous things. Here's an example. I know somebody with a cat named Ashtray. I think that's hilarious, but also, I think it's so funny. Also, Maggie showed me a picture of this cat and I looked at this cat and I was like, God, that's Ashtray. Ashtray is a great name for that cat. She fits.
01:06:47
Speaker
So I think that a lot of the way that we name our pets is supposed to be like bringing it down to like bringing it more like very personal humanizing the animal. Yes agreed. It's like the bridge between owning a wild animal and
01:07:07
Speaker
Yourself is a human. Why would you name an animal an object? No, it's very cute. I think it's very funny. I think it's funny. I mean, I have both of my sons. One is a plant and one is a bird. It's a little bit different, though. I think, well, here is one distinction that I made. Do you want your pet to have a serious name or a silly name? I think Blue Jay and Basil are serious pet names.
01:07:34
Speaker
That's not a pet name. So adorable. It's cute. It's serious. It's not like you hear it and go, why would you name a pet? Yeah, you're right. And that's why it's funny. Right. Things like ashtray. That's a silly cat name. You don't hear that cat name and go, oh, good. That's a name for a cat. You go, what? Why would you say that? And that's why it's a good pet name. Yeah. OK, but that's because it's got the shock factor.
01:07:57
Speaker
Yeah, but that's a pet name that that pet is named for the owner. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. How OK. Ash is her nickname, so she does have a regular name within it. Oh, it's like how I, when I was a few years younger, thought I would absolutely, when I'm older, have a black cat name at HP Inkjet Printer 4000 and just nickname it Jet because that's a name for a black cat.
01:08:26
Speaker
And then when they say, Hey, what's that? What's the cat's actual name? Because of course anybody would ask that when you hear the name jet for a black cat, you wouldn't just assume it's named. Yeah. Now.
01:08:37
Speaker
I am older and think if I heard a person tell me that their cat was named HP Inkjet4000, I would say this is the most obnoxious person I've ever met and I never want to speak to them again. But you wouldn't judge the animal. No. No, never judge the animal for its owner's mistakes. By the way, Cassie is here and she's going to pee on you. I hope she just sits with me because she loves me. She's a sweet girl. Oh, she's speaking on the podcast. She says, hello.
01:09:06
Speaker
This is great podcasting. Yeah, it's good content right here. But here's a name for a cat that I thought of a couple days ago and laughed my head off about. What? Andrew. Just Andrew? Just Andrew. Just Andrew. I just imagine a grayish brown tabby, just a regular looking mackerel tabby cat named Andrew. Here's something interesting. My boyfriend has one cat.
01:09:34
Speaker
the most perfect creature in the world. And I love him. Aside from your cats. Um, he's better than my cat. Oh, his cat. Is he really? Yes, he is. Oh, he's like a well-behaved normal cat. Seriously, the sweetest, most beautiful, smartest, specialist cat ever. His name is Stevie, but Chase calls him Steve a lot. And also Chase has a very good friend named Steve.
01:10:01
Speaker
Oh, that's weird. Yes. So it's interesting when you name a cat a human name, you run the risk of knowing a human with the same name. I'm so sorry, Cassie. And then when you're talking to your baby kitty. Hi, Stevie. Hi, Steve. And you're like, ugh. Oh. Yeah, but then- That's my friend, Steve. That's my grown adult man. And then what happens when-
01:10:26
Speaker
you get a phone call from your friend Steve and you're like answering the phone call and your cat suddenly runs up like it's playtime or I'm getting treats. It's like, no, dude, I'm just talking to the real dude, Steve. I'm like, why would you? The cat has no idea. Okay. Well, then you just don't pick something where you have a cat. You have a friend. So I don't have a friend named Andrew.
01:10:50
Speaker
Yeah, and if well if I met somebody named Andrew, I would say all right. I can't be friends with him because If you try to name your cat Andrew then you own all the consequences of that. Yeah It's yeah, you're allowed to have multiple friends named Andrew. It's only when you have I think it's I think it's weird to name a cat and
01:11:18
Speaker
and the name of somebody you already know. It's not weird at all if you name a cat a name and then you meet somebody with that name. Yeah, I agree. But you should warn them. You should warn them. You should be like, hey, bro. Just so you know, my cat.
01:11:38
Speaker
See, that person has the same name as your cat, not you named the cat after the person. The cat got there first. It's a very important series of events. It is. Which came first, the cat or the friend. I want you to know you're below my cat in the rank order of relationships. You are below the rank of people I love. I like my cat, Steve, more than you, Steve. Steve, Stevie, everything, like any Steve associated name is already taken.
01:12:07
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And my cat. You might want to change your name. Steven. If you want to be friends with me. If you want to be in my life, you have to legally change your name. Come up with a nickname that isn't anything related to Steve. What's your middle name? None of us can be friends with a Cassie. No. No. I know a Cassie at work. And I refuse to say her name because every time I'm like, hey Cassie, can you hand me that impact? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Does she piss in corners?
01:12:32
Speaker
Oh, she's pretty nervous, so I wouldn't be surprised. Oh my god, I miss a lot of anxiety. I hope she never listens. She's too busy for that. She's too nervous and busy. She has children. Oh, she has children? Yes. She's got bigger fish to fry. Yes. And also a cane. Not sure why.
01:12:52
Speaker
Um, anyways, okay. So yeah, I have one more. It's hard for me to say her name without, it's impossible for me to say her name without thinking of my cat Cassie. And it's hard for me to say her name at all. Yes. Go ahead. So we know how hard names are. Yes. Uh, I have one more really hard question to ask before we finish up. Okay. Because it's been a long, it's been a while. It's pretty long. Um, and I, this is going to be
01:13:22
Speaker
weird kind of topic.
Deep Bonds and Mysterious Communication
01:13:25
Speaker
It could be an unending topic. Pet ESP. Do we believe in it? What is that? Yes, I do.
01:13:36
Speaker
What's that? You believe that you have a connection to your animal. First, extra sensory perception, ESP. Okay, magic cats, magic pets. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, wait, explain it more. Let me give my example because I have two wonderful baby kittens and I love them to death, but I have never experienced this with them. I've only experienced it with one cat.
01:14:02
Speaker
Um, she, I call her my soul cat. She was the best cat I've ever known. I knew her for seven years. Um, and she passed away like a year and a half ago. Um, I have tattoos for her. She's my, like my truly my best friend. Love her so much. Miss her every day, but she was bitchiest cat that I've ever known. She had no claws, but she made her
01:14:30
Speaker
paw pads sharp instead. Seriously, they were pokey, painful. She didn't have any claws, but she made her skin sharp instead. Love her so much. But I knew what she wanted always. I knew what she was thinking. I knew what she wanted always, 100% of the time. I knew when she was ready for me to put her down. I knew when she wasn't. There was a week long where I was like, this is not
01:15:00
Speaker
life for you anymore. And I need to know when I'm being selfish by keeping you alive and when you're ready to be done. And I didn't know until all of a sudden I knew. And I think it was because I told her every night, she slept with me every night and I told her every night when she was dying, I said, don't stay for me. Tell me when you're ready. And she told me when she was.
01:15:31
Speaker
And I just know that she was talking to me. Like, I truly believe that. So I 100% believe that cats, animals, I'm sure, communicate with us in ways that we don't really understand. All right, cool. So that's good because...
01:15:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And sometimes in ways that we do do understand sometimes they yell at us. So you you you give that really fresh. I mean, it's relatively fresh experience. Yeah. You're dear. I mean, dear sweet kitten and she I validate everything you just said. I watched it happen. I didn't experience it the same way, but I watched it happen.
01:16:22
Speaker
I'm going to give my experience, my testimony of how animals know and are connected to us in a way that we don't understand. I grew up not in a great...
01:16:40
Speaker
There was a lot of chaos happening. You've talked about this cat before. Yeah, so I had a cat. The cat was adopted in my family as I was born, basically. Yeah, you've talked about this cat. Yeah, you've told this whole story. You told the whole story about it. During the religion. And that cat was... Katie cat, right? Katie. Katie was...
01:17:10
Speaker
I, if you told me that that was just a cat, I would, I would never, I would never agree. Uh, it was like, that was a, uh, truly connected, emotional. Yeah. Relationship. And I think that she held out for me. Yeah. I think the same thing about relief.
01:17:38
Speaker
She waited until she knew I was okay until like to let go and not. And I think, yeah. So I think that that's one of those weird things about like what's a pet. It gets into more than just what is a pet and more and into bigger ideas about. I think you can have a pet and not have a relationship with the animal. Yeah.
01:18:07
Speaker
But I think that what makes the best pet is when you have a personal, unique relationship with them. I feel like Cassie, for example, the cat that was just here, I think she's a pet, but I don't really have a unique relationship with her. But my boys,
01:18:28
Speaker
I have very unique relationships with them. They act differently with me than they do with anybody else. Oh, for sure. I've watched it. For sure. That's what I mean when I say they are my pets. They're my babies. I love them. They are special. I think that's the line that I draw. Yeah. This is a difficult thing for me because I've never had
01:18:54
Speaker
A cat wearing a hat. Yeah, we tried it once and then get rid of her. And I did briefly, I guess, have that. Wait, which one? Selkie. She only hung out with me and she was so sweet and so beautiful and so soft.
01:19:17
Speaker
And such a bitch sometimes. And her meow was so messed up. I think she was too nervous for the household that we tried to introduce her. It was too much. But she was a beautiful, beautiful creature. She was so pretty. Oh, I miss that cat. And just physically, she was gorgeous. Yeah, she looked like a seal. And that's why we called her Selkie. Yeah. And I think I did briefly have a unique relationship with Basil.
01:19:47
Speaker
But now that he's moved away, it was just when he was a very young kitten and we hung out a lot. Yeah. But I think it's, we've moved on from each other. That's one of Rebecca's two. Now that he's older. He's a different cat. Yeah. Both of my babies are different cats. Oh yeah. They had crazy kitten faces. Yeah, they did. They were freaks. They still are freaks, but different flavors. Grown up freaks. Yeah.
Future Topics and Listener Engagement
01:20:17
Speaker
So I think we've come to an agreement on what a pet is. I think we really do agree on that. I think that we don't agree on how many names pets are allowed to have. I think you don't agree. But that's okay. Yep, you're right. I don't agree. I think that we have spent enough time on pets and also
01:20:45
Speaker
We don't know what we're gonna talk about next. No, we don't. I assume we're doing it next week sometime. Maybe. I think we should probably keep consistent on at least recording once a week. Okay. I think it's probably, you know, pretty good. We have a whole list of topics. We have so many topics. We have a whole lot of topics. The only thing we'll have to decide is how intense we would like to get.
01:21:14
Speaker
If we want to decide now, I can give- No, no, no. Do you want me to do a little bit of a shallow dive onto a topic as a beginning of the podcast? Or was that stupid to talk about pets in that way? I think- We didn't really add value to it. No, it didn't add value. It didn't really feel like, you know,
01:21:39
Speaker
Genuine to us. Yeah. No, we're not here to educate. No Let's be honest. Sorry if you think if you thought that that was what you were getting into no Shocker we're not here to educate. Let's just talk about shit. We're just here to yap Okay, so yeah, I think I think trying to pretend that we're providing value is just not
01:22:04
Speaker
Cool. Takes one item off my list. I don't have to research it. Yeah, you don't need to research. I think it would be interesting to maybe talk about has it gotten better or worse, which is... It's not the right time for that. You don't think so? Okay. Is it getting worse now? Then we could talk about it. I was depressed until we started recording this. All right.
01:22:34
Speaker
So let's not, so maybe worse would be the answer. Um, that would be a pretty short podcast science and everyday life. We also have growing. I would have to do research about that growing up. No, I think you could keep it pretty shallow with that. We have AI, which I have a lot of thoughts about. We have just general zombie apocalypse because I be fine. I actually have so much to say about zombie apocalypse.
01:23:05
Speaker
Like a lot. Okay. Okay. So next time Rebecca is going to be our lead on the topic of zombie apocalypse. That's fun. But make sure you understand our whole philosophy is this is the shallow end of the pool. Sure. But can we just
01:23:33
Speaker
Just talk. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Can we just bullshit? Because that's what I plan on doing. Maggie, what did you think about your first experience? I enjoyed it. In the shallow end. I think it was good. I think it's a good introduction to who I am as a person. But what about- Orator. Would you ever come back? Yeah. Are you sure? Do you not want me to? We didn't scare you away.
01:24:01
Speaker
at you with really dull edges. Um, sure. I'll come back. Okay, cool. Yeah. I like I'm afraid now. I'll come back quivering with fear. Come on. Fear of my dull edge. Fear of your dull edges. Cool. Wow. It's been an hour 24. This is our longest one yet. I guess it makes sense because there were three of us trying to talk over each other.
01:24:29
Speaker
Did we? No, I gave up. I think we did okay. If you lasted this long through an hour 24, send one of us a message or follow us on Instagram at the shallow end crew, because that's where we're going to spend most of our time posting. Is it? Yeah, about the podcast.
01:24:53
Speaker
It is now. So find us there, send us a message about your opinions on pets, or if you have an idea about what you'd like us to talk about next, we do have a long list, but we will quickly run out of topics. So if you have an idea that you want us to talk about and also an idea that you have an idea about, like opinions on, send us a message and we might talk about it. So thank you for joining us.
01:25:21
Speaker
Yay, it's the shallow end, episode four rapping. Love you, bye! We love pets, yay!