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Episode 10 - With Special Guest Matt Baxter
40 Plays9 months ago
This week we bring you two hours of pure chaos. The audio is also a little rough but we did the best we could with three adults on a couch. Talking points include evolution, Bridgerton (part 2), and why my dad is friends with a 30 year old. We hope you enjoy!
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Transcript
Celebrating 10 Episodes
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, shallow friends. Welcome back to another episode of your favorite podcast and mine, the shallow end. And while you're at it, if you don't have a drink in your hand already, go ahead and make it a double. Why? Well, one, you deserve it. And two, you'd actually be helping us celebrate for breaking into the double digits of episodes. And that's right. This is episode 10 of the shallow end.
Meet the Guest: Matt 'Mr. Finch'
00:00:22
Speaker
And on this week's episode, we have the crew sitting down with a very special guest. He is a connoisseur of fine horses.
00:00:30
Speaker
world traveler. Some might say a serial evolutionist. Actually, I don't really know if anybody said that. But either way, sit back, relax, and enjoy episode 10 of the shallow end with special guest Matt.
00:00:58
Speaker
confident that the sound works. Do we have like a director wait first? Yeah you need to shut the fuck up. Thirteen minutes in to take a sip or something? No. Yeah you don't need to worry about taking a sip but you need to shut up because we need to talk about what we've done. Right now? I think so. Hey welcome to episode 10.
00:01:23
Speaker
Of the shallow end. Of the shallow end. And we have a very special episode tonight. We do. We have a stranger in our midst. There's a stranger in my house. But let's talk about last week. Okay. You want to talk about last week? I do kind of. I want to hear what you think about how an unplanned episode went.
00:01:52
Speaker
Because it's kind of like not what you're comfortable with. You're right. I don't like unplanned things. It's true. Well, neither do you though. No, that's why I'm asking. None of us hate it. Are you asking me how I liked it in the context of media to be advertised or in the context of a conversation with my father? Well, it's never been about media to be advertised. Sure.
00:02:18
Speaker
I wanna know how you felt it went now that you have had some distance from it. Because in the moment, I think we accomplished what we were hoping to accomplish. We felt better at the end of the experience. After now, afterwards, I still think, I think it was a pretty solid episode for us to just be doing it off the cuff. I think we had interesting things to say. I thought we were funny, but that also might just be because I think I'm funny. And so does Kathleen. And so does Kathleen. Shout out Kathleen, love you girl.
00:02:49
Speaker
All
The Art of Improvisation
00:02:50
Speaker
right. What do you think that? Well, so I agree and I told you earlier today that I listened to the entire episode, which is rare. You don't really want to listen to us. But, um, I think it's important that we both came with good, positive attitudes around not having a plan because tonight
00:03:15
Speaker
is kind of the same. This could go lots of directions. Yes, but the difference is tonight, I feel like last week we were like, this could go lots of different directions and who knows whether it will be entertaining or not. But tonight, I feel like we're like, it could go lots of directions, but no matter what, we will be entertaining. Yeah, and we have somebody here who's going to dance for us regardless. A little dance monkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to introduce who that person is?
Friendship and Positivity with Matt
00:03:43
Speaker
Well, we teased it at the end of last episode, right? Mr. Finch? Mr. Finch. We call you Mr. Finch. You know we've called you Mr. Finch on our podcast multiple times. And you can introduce yourself in any way you'd like. But we are here with live Mr. Finch, first ever non-family member guest. So let's go. Take it away. I just don't really know how to talk about the Mr. Finch. That story has to be told. I can't even introduce myself without that story being told.
00:04:12
Speaker
We'll tell the story afterwards, but say your real name and...
00:04:17
Speaker
Your association with us. Or give us your future dead name. Because after this podcast, you're never going to be able to use this thing. Yeah, there's nothing good that's going to come of this. My name is Matt Baxter, Matthew Baxter, middle name Charles. Give us your social security and your current address. People can have all that because that comes with a lot of liability. So if you want to call me, I'm happy to give it away.
00:04:45
Speaker
Middle-named Charles. I bring that up. Actually, this is a little soft spot my like Yes Parents name me and they're like and you're gonna talk about finches and you made this appointment to all of us. Yep Um, but uh, I'm known to my nieces and nephew as uncle Chuck comes from Charles I don't know if we have ever talked about that. I
00:05:05
Speaker
I've never heard that. And it's stuck and it makes me so happy. Uncle Chuck. Uncle Chuck. That's so cute. Wait, are we allowed to swear on this? Hell yeah. Well, so the funny thing is my first nephew, he's four now, but he couldn't say it so I was Uncle Fuck for like a year and a half. That's perfect. It was, it's stuck and everybody in the family was like, it's pretty fitting. But where did Charles really come from?
00:05:29
Speaker
Is it a family name? Yeah. It's definitely not from Darwin. We've already had this conversation. No, no, no, no. I don't think. Because my parents are too smart to name me after somebody that would ultimately become a Finch teller.
00:05:41
Speaker
So I don't think it's from Darwin. I have no idea Charles itself. I know there's many generations of Charles. Okay, fun fact. So it is a family name. Yeah, it's definitely. I think six greats, maybe seven greats, goes to William Henry Harrison is like my great, great, great, great, like uncle.
00:06:02
Speaker
Proud to say he was the shortest- I was gonna say, what is the least relevant president he's ever been to. He was literally president for four days and then got pneumonia died. Wonderful. Yeah, no, he had the pneumonia, probably like our- Aw, poor Maggie. Maggie's probably currently dying in Ohio. My darling sister. Darwin's sister? Yeah, Darwin's sister. Is that how that works? Yeah, you got it, delicious. He evolved from us. But okay, why are you here? How were you connected to us?
00:06:31
Speaker
What the fuck are you doing in my house? Yeah, I was about to say, I suddenly walked into the wrong house. I think I'm here because Scott is one of the only people in my life to tell me no. Probably not once, but twice, okay? Which is even better. Only twice. Yeah.
00:06:48
Speaker
and i just don't really get told no that often he said he held firm um and so since then we've become friends we've golfed together we've gone on some trips together we've gone on some really entertaining casino slot runs together we have those moments in a second um what else have we done last week we didn't but
00:07:11
Speaker
On one serious note, you are my favorite person to call when I'm having a bad day to be like, I need to have two bourbons and we need to go sit at Bodhi's bar and I just need to bitch about the world. And truly that, so that's the one nice thing I'm going to say. He's my favorite person to do that with too. Hey, cheers. I'll let you guys fight about it. It's okay.
00:07:33
Speaker
You don't bitch about the world very often, man. No, but it's more like the, hey, I need to go bitch invent. And now that I'm there, like in that 12 minute car ride, I kind of got over it. So it's like, all right, let's just hang out. Usually that's pretty much, like I'm a pretty quick fix. I wish I were you. He really is a quick fix. Trust me, I wish I was me too. It's pretty awesome. He's got some kind of like... No, it's going to be unrecorded. There's some kind of energy source inside him that like just spews out positivity all the time.
00:08:04
Speaker
I know you're allergic to it. I want to unpack that at some point. I want to unpack that because I have been told if we want to go down a rabbit hole, the confidence thing that's come up many times in my life. I don't really get what that is. I don't know if it's just horrifically confident in my own skin. By the way, for those, since we're not on video, I'm about half the size and twice the price and just know that, you know, definition of fun size, I'm even more compact than that. Just so we're all on the same page. And he's a ginger, which,
00:08:31
Speaker
I'm ginger, freckled, half the size, and probably 20 pounds overweight, and very comfortable in my own skin. But the confidence thing comes up quite a bit. I think the reason that you're so baffled by it is because for most people, confidence is like a fleeting thing. And for you, it's a constant. Like, you're just always, like, cool with yourself. And cool in situations. Cheers to that. Cheers again. No, I'm not cheersing that. It's completely fucking unjustified.
00:08:59
Speaker
You're a wonderful human being. Thanks, Scott. Oh, he's gonna cry. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but what? I said no. Am I on cocaine now? So there. I don't, yeah, I don't, I kind of am like a walking adrenaline shot for most people.
00:09:20
Speaker
Literally, like my call to you that when I need just to go bitch about the world, and even if it's not actually bitching about the world, it's just like, I need a moment with a friend that I can, if I need to say something I do, if not, it's just like time together. I'm kind of the friend that when somebody needs a little boost, I'm kind of that to a lot of people. That I would agree with. I've seen that now. Like you definitely are that to other people too. That's an important.
00:09:46
Speaker
Which is cool, I love that. There's nothing better than when somebody calls me like, hey, I'm having a bad day. I'm like, fucking sweet, let's go deal with this. The only time I have ever reached out to you and said, hey, Matt, let's go hang out, I need a vent. And you said, no, it's been, sorry, I'm going to Cuba, or sorry, I'm in Lexington, or I'm,
00:10:10
Speaker
in Vegas for like you're constantly traveling which is really annoying to me because it really harshes my ability to vent with you but um eventually
00:10:28
Speaker
We gotta talk about horses. We'll get there, we'll get there, we'll get there. Something that is, you're welcome to punch me in the face, but I know you will just hate. So think my age group of friends, similar to what you just said, would reach out like, hey man, let's- Drop your age for the audience because I've-
00:10:45
Speaker
He just turned 30. And my father's 51. And we're friends. And they're besties. I do think I have a gray hair. I can't tell. It's all ginger. I don't know. I can't look at it for too long. It makes me mad. It's a big nest. Yeah. It's a big, thick nest. So. There's probably ticks in there, man. My friends, when they would reach out and be like, hey, you want to hang out, I, for probably a five-year season, would just send my location. That was a lot of way of saying I could hang out. Yep. Show up and you want to.
00:11:15
Speaker
I never got that, by the way. Actually, that might be the best response. Yeah. I have two things that I do with my friends. So I just went on a golf trip with eight of my Hope buddies. And they definitely used it as a field day to make fun of me, which is great. Two things that I didn't realize that I did, I sent the location. And the other thing I'm notorious is when they call me.
00:11:38
Speaker
without fail within a minute, like 47 seconds in to a minute and a half in, I'm always like, hey, I gotta take another call. Oh, that's so annoying. So they're like, isn't Baxter famous for picking up the phone, having a conversation, be like, hey, I gotta call you back in 45 seconds. Now the thing is, I'm very good at calling him back, but I do take a lot of alternatives. So this is a really important. I trust me, I'm teeing off some things that I know you're gonna have a field day with later. It's a really important thing for everyone to understand.
00:12:05
Speaker
Matt's really important. No, Matt's really important. Matt takes a lot of calls. It's very important. A lot of people are going to juice out. That's all. We should all be very appreciative.
Travel Tales and Evolutionary Debates
00:12:18
Speaker
If you are ever having a bad day, just call me. No, we're honored. That's not what it, that's about Matt. Stop it. Don't spin it positive. We're honored that you're carving out
00:12:29
Speaker
Oh my gosh. The other funny thing about Matt is I could ask to like say, Hey, we're going to record the podcast.
00:12:45
Speaker
to have the other phone in his back pocket. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm down to one. I'm down to one. I'm down to one. What about the two phones thing? I'm down to one. What about the two phones thing? I'm going to get really angry. I am down to one. The two phone things is how I define men. I know, and it's so sad. I am down to one. Why are you down to one? Because Apple did this thing where it went. Because you're not dating somebody that you don't want to have on your work phone. There is one person whose brother-in-law is in our life who we both know is a little bit more serious. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
00:13:13
Speaker
One of the funniest things I've ever heard him say is, we had a very serious hour and a half business meeting. This is like no nonsense, no shooting the shit, none of that. Hour and a half in, we get done. And he goes, what's up with the two phones? He goes, you're dating somebody, aren't you? It was the most like, wait a minute, we are human. It was so good. So I just went there.
00:13:39
Speaker
I didn't intend to go there to the same place he went, but you've now fixed that? No.
00:13:47
Speaker
I have one phone. This is such good content. When we're talking in riddles about people that you guys know, nobody else. I know we don't want to share that information. But you don't have two phones anymore. That's my point. I mean, the two phone thing is funny, Rebecca. Right? The problem is literally for a while. We were going to tap into your rage. Hang on. The first time that I found out about this two phones thing was we were out, the three of us, and you
00:14:16
Speaker
I didn't even know about the two phones thing until you put your second phone up on the bar in front of you. And I was like, all right, he wants me to comment on this now, because if he didn't, he would- No, I just don't like things in my pocket. Yeah, sure. And- Hence. And I don't know where my keys are. I don't know where my keys are. Just, you know, lost puppy. I don't care. I said, why do you have two phones? And you said, well, one's for work. And I said, that doesn't answer my question. Why do you have two phones? And you said, because if I'm out and I don't want to deal with work stuff, I can leave the work phone at home. And I said, both of them are on the bar right now.
00:14:45
Speaker
Because I had to deal with some work stuff. It was like a Friday night. Hey, trust me. That is such bullshit. Hey, hey, hey, HR, HR tech doesn't slow down all the time. Oh, wait, you want to talk more about yourself? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Later in the episode, maybe. Oh, you're going to do your pitch? You want to do your pitch? No, because nobody wants to speed this thing down to quarter of the speed. Okay.
00:15:12
Speaker
No, I'm not fast enough to. All right. Do you want to explain your nickname? Which one? Mr. Finch. Which one? The one we gave you. Let's start there. So I'm going to do my best to share in the moment. And then I.
00:15:31
Speaker
probably will need some more wine to justify where I was trying to come from. Absolutely. For context, this is the conversation that happened the first night that I met you. Yep. So this was your first impression. Not the first night I met you. So the one, the one Claire, was this the Pappy's flight? Yes. Yep. It was all the same. You got it. Yeah. So for those tuning in, we had a wonderful night at our dear friend, Ryan Renner's house, who was a gracious host and allowed us to taste four different Pappy's.
00:16:01
Speaker
No, no, no, but like and then other thing but if you're it, but if yeah, but if you're a bourbon fan We got to try all four which is on if you get to try all four in your life. It's unbelievable Let alone all in one night. Yep. And then what was the Johnny Walker red not to TFY? I might have not been in the yeah, I'm just trying to let everybody know that there's some thinking there was very emotionally out of straw there was a lot of other things in your system at the time, but
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, like awesomeness and pride. Like love. Was I dating at that point? Mushrooms? No, no, it wasn't the night, different night. No. Different night. I know what was happening in general at this point. You think there were mushrooms that night too? No. No, no, no, no, no. I know for a fact, not that night. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I wouldn't be able to, if I was doing that, I'd be like, we're not having this discussion. I would, I'd become more lucid.
00:16:54
Speaker
I was given context that this was while you were dating somebody that all of your friends didn't think that you should have been dating. And so you were very emotionally... Oh, just in a very healthy spot, I'm sure. Almost going well. Okay, so I am a huge fan of TikTok, okay? Love TikTok. Big TikTok fan. Tonight we talk about me making cottage cheese wraps for dinner. No, no, no, I'm gonna get right back to the topic, I promise. Caspus has something to do with this. So that night,
00:17:23
Speaker
It must've been like that day or within 24 hours. I listened to one of those like, Q political, Q like- QAnon? No, no, no, it was like a two minute long clip that was like, oh, this is really groundbreaking, interesting, whatever, a bunch of these different clips. One of them had talked about, and again,
00:17:44
Speaker
what I've listened to, and then 96 Burbins in, tried to articulate, okay? I'm willing to accept one of those things that you say that you forever will become the guy who- You don't want you to try to pass this off on somebody else's content. That is bullshit. No, no, this is bullshit. For those listening in, they both physically just got closer to me, and they're ready to start yelling at me.
00:18:09
Speaker
stake your position sir because for context you also argued with us for an hour more than an hour so I know the video is pretty compelling state your position so evolution and the whole Darwinism is him visiting this
00:18:30
Speaker
Little island and he goes and studies the finches and so my argument was that no matter what he studied at the end of the day the finches Still remain to be finches. They just happen at bigger beaks bigger feet, whatever it may be
00:18:45
Speaker
So Mr. Finch, my Mr. Finch concept was this guy doesn't believe in evolution and it's all because the finches didn't evolve. And that's who I am. That is bullshit. That's bullshit. That's not that no, no, no, no. That's definitely how we're mocking you for sure. That's where we landed. Yeah. But you weren't just arguing the finches are still finches and that's all.
00:19:11
Speaker
You were saying, you were doing the stupid evolution is just a theory bullshit line. I love that, I didn't know I did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, evolution is just a theory, it hasn't been proven, and it's like, you don't even understand science, sir. Yeah, I knew when Renner got into kind of the fight mode, that's when I was like, maybe I'm not thinking or saying the things that I wanted to do. Well, smart people,
00:19:40
Speaker
Should be able to say whatever they want to say and you are a smart person, but you're not smart in all things No And you think smart people should be able to say whatever they want to say because I think that smart people Oh, here we go. This is where I want to because I think that smart people miss when they get review II because the interviewer Because I think about people
00:20:02
Speaker
posit something, they're willing to be challenged. And they understand that if we're talking about science, there's a fundamental understanding of what science is, which is putting out a theory and then testing it against reality. Well, my favorite thing about the place that I'm at right now in my education is I'm at the point where I'm around people who, like, I feel like the higher you get in education, the less people
00:20:28
Speaker
we'll admit that they know. Like the people that I know now are like, I don't know shit. And I'm like, you have multiple degrees and a PhD from Harvard, you know some stuff. And then they're like, well, here's some thoughts that I have that I don't have any backing for, but they're just ideas. Let's talk about it. Based on what I do know though, right? I mean, they know a ton. Yeah, it's so fun though. They know way more than what we know. But the conversation I had with Mr. Finch on the first night that I met him was not that.
00:20:57
Speaker
No, finches and beaks. And Darwin only created this idea off of one visit to one island and turtles and finches. All right, go ahead.
00:21:09
Speaker
Oh no, at this point I didn't have a whole lot to share. It's just one of those like, I knew this was coming. I knew I was going to eat shit for five minutes. We just need to accept this. And it's one of those that I hope everybody knows first impressions do matter because they stick with people for a long time. And I am Mr. Finch among the brick household. I'm very happy about this.
00:21:29
Speaker
And he's going to press me into a quarter to make sure that I've changed and have re-corrected my opinion to be the right one. And at this point, might as well just for humor's sake, stand by the 50s. I want to give you resources. I would direct you to the K-5 science segment of the public library.
00:21:53
Speaker
If you don't understand the theory of evolution and if you're, if you're, um, fundamentalist Christian Bible upbringing is still teaching you or still instructing your brain, like, and I'm going to pivot now and I'm going to pivot intentionally because you can't believe two things at the same time that are contradictory.
00:22:22
Speaker
I don't think. You should be thinking about it if these two things are in contradiction. Tell me about your horse business, man. Wait, hang on. How is that in contradiction to evolution? Well, he and his dad and a bunch of other people are involved in a horse breeding operation that is all about two different
00:22:52
Speaker
Horses coming together and making better horses. You're breeding the best things. It's fucking evolution, Matt. That's literally what evolution is. In small scale, in over a million years, it makes... I'm gonna say something that's gonna make the two of you so mad. Do it! The funny thing is, horses have not... Thoroughbred horses have not evolved since they've been tracking racing. The speed figures have not increased.
00:23:16
Speaker
Set like it's an inch pin again. It depends on what your time line of evolution. Yeah, I was gonna say The last 200 years that's what I'm trying to see him just so everybody knows I believe in evolution Let me just look at the record. Oh God, give me a pen. I write this but there are some pretty bad I just feel like there we point to some very small derivatives and assume that that equals
00:23:39
Speaker
Evolution. Okay. I don't think you have any idea what you're talking about. I'm gonna be honest right now. No, but like the horse one is actually factually not the best one to look at because the performance of horses measured against racing if we're looking at evolution Compared to the performance of horses improving in their racing output over the life again depends on your timeline of the derivative of evolution
00:24:02
Speaker
50 years since Secretary Brown. Wait, hang on. Explain what you mean by the derivative. This exact period of time. If we're just looking at like 50 years, they have not improved. That's probably not enough timeline to claim up. You're saying that they're not faster? No, they're not. Okay, so I'm okay with that. What I'm telling you is humans are forcing a horse where there's no evolutionary need to just run faster.
00:24:34
Speaker
humans are forcing them to maintain speed where there's no evolutionary pressure to do that anymore anymore and so all you're saying is yeah we suck at making horses faster
00:24:51
Speaker
But we are good at making sure that horses continue. And also- It's actually really- And also your- Was there ever time for the survival forces to run? Yes. Was there a bare minimum- Hold on, hold on. Was there a bare minimum that they could run and escape predators? No, it's not predators. What was it?
00:25:12
Speaker
I think it was a... This is a pseudoscientific opinion. And by the way, I have such a good question for this question. Pseudoscientific opinion. I think that horses evolved a lot of speed. I mean, maybe ice age, they evolved speed to avoid predators that were massive predators. Are you an ice age president? No, no, no. Don't change the topic yet.
00:25:39
Speaker
I think that they evolved speed when they became domesticated because it was a range and the horses were taken care of because based on their speed, they made human beings more effective at hurting, killing,
00:26:04
Speaker
and hunting and so that. So you think speed wasn't a factor for horses until humans came around and therefore. So then I'll go back and I think that speed was always a part of what a horse is but I think it's because I don't know what that predator was. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm more asking because when you stop and think a horse can pretty much survive in any form of grassland, any form of like open field but speed other than to avoid prey
00:26:34
Speaker
predators is what I'm meant to say. Yeah, I'm sure that's what you meant. Yeah. Clearly a horse was at one point fast to avoid predators. Yeah. Because we as humans looked at a horse going real fast and went- By the way, how? I would love to be that fast. And so we domesticated them.
00:26:54
Speaker
Can we make a slight one degree change real quick? One? Just one? Manatees. You and I have been on this team. Oh, that's different. No, that's not a one degree change. And it's him, too. No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. Speaking of the whole predator of prey conversation, how have, yes, how have... Hey, guys, we are 27 minutes in. We're, you know, 30 years. We haven't even... We are refilling. 35 of those. We have not even gotten into what we want to talk about.
00:27:22
Speaker
This was a conversation I thought would be about maybe 10 minutes. That's what I thought, too. But now we're at manatees, which I haven't heard from. I told you this in the beginning. You just need to direct me and let me go. I don't know what the manatee thing is, though. Okay, so tell us about manatees. No, you're not going to do this because you can edit this out. No, don't tell me about manatees. You looked at the cost of a ribeye manatee steak when we were at...
00:27:41
Speaker
Manatee steak? Yes, Scott. No, it wasn't a manatee steak. Yes, it was. Can you order me? Yeah, Scott. This is one time in my life. I am a hundred percent right? Where? We were sitting at Olive's and I brought up a conversation of- Oh, you showed me the website. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That did happen. You're right. You're right. You're right.
00:28:02
Speaker
Now I'm remembering I thought you were talking about last week This was this is me going down this rant around how have manatees survive Adaptation and evolution and all these different things. Okay, they're floating ribeyes
00:28:19
Speaker
No, they're wrong. That's so, that's. They are sea cows, but they're not. And then, and then, and then your father and I sat and looked up to see if there's any places that sell manatee steaks. And there are. People, the native people of Alaska eat whales. That doesn't mean that a manatee is a floating cow. They live in different environments and so their bodies are made up of different. And manatees are way less like a true cow than
00:28:48
Speaker
Also, all the listeners are gonna disagree with the two of you because they are floating cows. They just sit and do nothing. They have no defense mechanism. They have no meat. They have very little meat on them. Okay, they've got a lot of fat and a little bit of muscle. I get it, can relate to that. So the whole floating ribeye, yeah, fine. It might be a little bit of a fattier New York strip, but the point of it remains the same. Matt, you just wanna be carved up. What's the point?
00:29:17
Speaker
You never came to a point. There was no point. Oh, we had to have points to all... You just said the point is the same and you have no point? Oh yeah, that it's a floating ribeye. New York strip. Oh, so your point is just that you're wrong. It's definitely not a New York strip. All right. It maybe is more similar to a floating ribeye. With a bit of fishier taste.
00:29:39
Speaker
I don't know, I've never ate. They're not fish. I've never eaten one yet. What? They're not fish. They're mammals, right? See you up the next 15 minutes of Rebecca yelling at me.
00:29:50
Speaker
I love to yell at you. I get it. I understand. A lot of people have that feeling too. So cheers. I mean, it's really fun. You're about to get my location soon. It's really fun that you don't know so much, even though you do know so much. You know, it's a perfect existence. You're so able to just talk like you know what you're talking about. But if somebody else around you is smarter than you, for example, me. And case in point. By the way, Kathleen, just wait.
00:30:20
Speaker
Jammed the like button, like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Howdy, Kathleen. Kathleen is the only one on my side of them. I love her for that. No, she's not the only one. Your grandmother is. So the point is you're smart, and I'm dumb. Continue. The point is. You made me land the plane of Nancy, so get where you need to go. Thank you. You finally found a plane. Good job. No, the point is you talk a lot like you know what you're talking about, but if anybody is around you who does know what they're talking about, it's really easy to pick it up.
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh, it's the best. I spend all my time with smarter people and I just like, teen them up to the point where they can just roll on their thing. And I don't mind BSing my way all the way up to the point where they're the smarter person. And then it's like, all right, you just go. It's fun though. So what do you think about Bridgerton?
00:31:04
Speaker
Oh my god, dad. I gotta be... No, no, no, no. One here. One here. I gotta be honest. I'm not even gonna try to pretend to be smart on this one. Dude, you haven't watched Bridge... Not at all? Not at all. I actually don't even know... Oh, that's right. You don't date. It's just a 1980s film.
00:31:21
Speaker
Um, it's a current show. Well, I just wanted to, I just wanted to be, because I'm a smart person and you're a smart person. I wanted to give, I wanted to fuel your rage of last episode. I just didn't know we were walking on this podcast with a lot of preconceived rage. I knew that. Well, you can just get a little peripheral rage. Let me give him an update. I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago.
00:31:45
Speaker
And they said, you'll have post-op grief and sadness. And I don't have that, but I have post-op rage. So I'm just- Mainly pointed at me. Perfect. No, no, no. Last week it was pointed at Bridgerton because she was like, they fucked that up. It was pointed at Bridgerton. It was pointed at that dude that went on broken. It was pointed at- Oh yeah. Oh, Karen's Howard. It's pointed at most of the men in my life.
00:32:09
Speaker
Okay, so instead, let's redirect to a TV show. And I just wanted to point out that you can now point your rage at...
00:32:22
Speaker
the people who make creamers in the grocery store. Why? Because there are multiple branded Bridgerton creamers in the grocery store right now. What does Bridgerton have to do with creamers? Who can say? That's so weird. That's pretty fucked up. I mean, Bridgerton is a very sexually explicit show. Cool. I guess we're not cutting that part out. Yeah, I believe that is. I'm proud of that one.
00:32:52
Speaker
You're proud of that. And speaking of dairy creamers brought to you by, what is a, what do we, what's like a main, we should toast to something. International, what is it? Creamer, I don't even know. I don't even know what it is. I don't use creamers. The 13 year old child was like Bridgerton cream. What is that? Why are they part of like, yeah, that's pretty messed up. Yeah, that's weird. That is weird.
00:33:21
Speaker
So that's why they lost their way. That's why Bridgerton lost their way. Yeah. They've been too commercialized. Yeah. I think they were commercialized from the get, but yeah. Okay.
00:33:32
Speaker
Shonda this is something I learned from tiktok to Matt's point tiktok informed me on this By the way listening to Matt point it's just Matt uses tiktok Yeah to your point of being a tiktok user. Thank you.
Bridgerton: Leadership and Plot Changes
00:33:48
Speaker
Shout out to tiktok. What's up, China? You're already listening The reason season 3 sucks is because the person that
00:33:58
Speaker
that is actually running the show left and Second in Command took over for season three and it sucks. But they don't have like full control of her story. They kind of do. I don't know what they're called but like you know how like Shonda Rhimes owner of Shonda Land is technically in charge but there's like a guy that's in charge. He was in charge for season one and season two and he had like a right hand woman I guess and she took over for season three and like they're allowed to come into the writers room and be like yes that's good yes it's good that doesn't fit
00:34:28
Speaker
Yes, it's good. And- Can I try and give you hope? I mean, yeah, but it's not gonna work. You said they fucked it up by doing this like weird season three, like- Well, they fucked it up in a lot of different ways. But right, you shared all that with the creamer. Yeah. Yeah, and the creamer's a big part of it, but- Real nice up there. But they also split the- Yeah, they're doing a part one and part two.
00:34:58
Speaker
maybe you should just wait till part two before you that's what that's what a lot of people are saying they're like everybody's yelling about part one but everybody's forgetting that we only have half of the season it's like yeah but maybe they're gonna just blow your mind no but but but season but
00:35:15
Speaker
The whole, this is a romance show. The whole point is like tension leading up to when the couple gets together. The couple is- And then the creamer. And then the creamer. Oh my God. That's part of the climax. Yeah. Wait. Stop. Didn't she make the joke? She made the joke. Yeah. This is her joke. It was wrong. My joke. Why am I getting yelled at? How many times should we make the joke? Yeah, I was about to say, why am I getting yelled at? I'm just playing off of your own joke. But the couple is already together and engaged.
00:35:45
Speaker
at the end of the fourth episode. I don't know how much more tension they can have. But you said it's so funny. No, no, that was stupid. Come on, all couples are sitting here before they get married. But you were bitching about how the story wasn't, it was very forced.
00:36:11
Speaker
It was weird because what a bet there's gonna be tension in the next side Like the lead-up has already been ruined because they're you said they spent they spent so much time on this random family You said no, I'm just I'm just trying to predict
00:36:29
Speaker
I'm gonna go for encouragement. Why are you yelling at me? More discouraged. Now you're yelling. I'm gonna say all the time, you're just yelling at me. I know, that's why I said it. I get really nervous from people yelling. Believe it or not, I'm funny. You said you were upset that they were spending so much time on this other family that wasn't relevant. I didn't say they weren't relevant. I just said I didn't understand why they were surprised. They were just minor. They were background characters. Yeah, background characters. There it is, yeah.
00:36:58
Speaker
Maybe there's gonna be a plot twist in the next part of the season. Okay, yes, but, but, but. Kathleen is so pissed right now. No, Kathleen is. We're so off the rails. No, no, it's more. Kathleen is behind me in everything I do. No, no, she's more pissed, she's like. Well, yeah, yeah, I know. She's like, she just doesn't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kathleen gets it. Kathleen. What's up, Shadowhead, I got you. No, here's what, and I don't wanna spend more time on Bridgerton than I need to, so I'm gonna say my thing and then we'll move on. Oh, you don't? But. That's how I felt about evolution, you guys just made me keep diving.
00:37:28
Speaker
We're getting back into evolution as soon as you finish. I can rein it in. Don't worry. Even if it's against me, it's fine. Let me say that this show is based on a series of books. And so the show is- This podcast? Hell yeah. That makes me so much happier. No! The show, Bridgerton, is based on a series of books.
00:37:55
Speaker
No, you don't. You guys have a podcast. No, you're doing... I'm quitting the podcast. Kathleen, bring her back. Kathleen and I will have our own podcast. It's just going to be her supporting you. I really don't want that. I would feel terrible about that because then I would be... Stuck with Matt. No, he's got his own podcast. I would have nothing.
00:38:19
Speaker
No, he wouldn't have that kind of pity on me. You don't think so? No. He actually asked you to do a podcast together. Yeah, and then every time I ask about it, you say, I don't know, we'll figure it out. He says I have to take another call. Yep, I gotta take a phone. And then I send my location. Yeah.
00:38:35
Speaker
That's actually pretty funny that I do I like that Hey Just to let everybody else hate me a feeling pretty good about all right cool. I gotta ask you another question It's gonna be about here. We go. Hey Matt go What were you gonna say?
00:38:56
Speaker
No. Because I have an entirely different concept than you. I love it. We've got five hours ahead of us. Well, my concept here is you have admitted, top them up there, you have admitted that you haven't listened to a single minute of our podcast, which I love that for you. I wouldn't take it personally though. And I'm happy to explain it. Well, don't worry. I don't really care about what you think. So I don't take it
00:39:25
Speaker
Wow this is getting glad we're friends. I was expecting the chip to start about an hour 15. Pretty early. Again, post-op rage. Sorry. Targeted. I'm not sorry. We have had multiple episodes on multiple different topics that you haven't listened to. It's awesome.
00:39:44
Speaker
Oh, do it. Yeah. Here we go. Is this rapid fire? Well, I don't know if there's going to be rapid fire. Do you want, do you want like finch level of argument? Right off the cusp. Hang on, stop. I don't want you to, I don't want you to start gauging your response now. I want it to be as natural as it is. So if you have something to say about it, then say it. By the way, I am all natural.
00:40:07
Speaker
Yes. See, this is why. Yes. Rapid fire, but no, but no, not quick. It is so hard. You just put the quarter and I just can't stop. Are you okay with your mother listening to this episode?
Wine Tasting and Religion
00:40:24
Speaker
So far, no. I don't see it get any better. Awesome. Well, our first
00:40:30
Speaker
like real episode was about religion. Cool. Yeah, let's go. And I know that you have thoughts about this. So there you go, man. Oh, wait, first, Dad, do you want to say what we're drinking or? Well, thanks, Polly. This is a Nero Devola. It's a Sicilian red. It's delicious. So I don't know how to speak Italian, but it's actually very good.
00:40:59
Speaker
It's a good bold red wine. It's relatively young, but still presents. It's just like me. Relatively young, but it presents beautifully. Bold and...
00:41:15
Speaker
That's a little of that. If you're not ready for a strong favor, you're not gonna want it. For you listening in, we've had five cheerses, four initiated by me. That one's me. That one's me. That one's me. I feel like, and challenge me on this, just real quick on the line. This is a perfect, it feels like in a not being degrading way, it takes a cab and a peanut and a water and mixes it together. In a very, oh. That's the, I think it's,
00:41:41
Speaker
Very tasty. It's not as bold as a cab, but it's not quite a pain in the rock. Put your face into it and sniff it. Ew. Hey, ew. All the way in. Stop. Stop. Get your schnoz in there. Stop. There's a lot more going on here than... It's way more sophisticated. No, I don't think it's... Yeah. I'm just trying to say,
00:42:10
Speaker
It's a little more complicated than just saying cab versus pinot versus merlot versus, I know you like petite. Sera. Sera and like. Big petite seraga. It's technically small petite seraga. Small, small sera. Small, small sera. And a petite sera is just a blending grape, but sometimes they make it and they put it in a bottle and you like it because it makes you feel right sized.
00:42:40
Speaker
That's great. That's good for you. But, um, this one is kind of like a, um, I don't know. I'm not going to speak for Paulie. I just think that he gives me the wines that he knows I like, which are more old school oriented, um, bigger rounder.
00:43:05
Speaker
Now you're just being mean. That, that, what? That are, that are, that aren't overly oaked, that are, that are more focused on the place that they were grown and the. And quick podcast poll. Who knows more about wine, Matt or Scott?
00:43:26
Speaker
or Rebecca. It's definitely dad. One guy says something simple, the other guy says, wrong. We break it down. Every episode we talk about what wine we're drinking, and he goes, this is what I'm drinking. He just talks for like five minutes, and I'm like, I'm drinking Josh. It was $10. And it's redder than the white version of this. I did really like it. Everything I say, I always say the price, because that's literally the only reason why.
00:43:54
Speaker
I did really like that you chose 19 crimes for our conspiracy theory episode, which was brilliant. The only reason I got it was because it was the only red wine that was not from California. Where was it from? It was from Argentina. Oh, I thought it was from... Oh, I thought it was from... Well, maybe that tells you how much I know because I thought that is from California. Maybe I'm thinking the wrong episode then.
00:44:24
Speaker
It doesn't really matter. Who cares? We're not really about wine. We're about conversation, man. Tell us about religion. The way that we structured our episodes was... Yeah, we're gonna rapid-fire through the episodes. It doesn't have to be rapid-fire. Like I said, say what you think, and if you don't have many thoughts, then we'll move on. But if you have a lot to say, then we'll...
00:44:41
Speaker
We'll talk about it. So in the, you know, categorize people sort of topic, I'm definitely a Christian, but I'm as anti-church of a Christian as you possibly can get.
00:44:59
Speaker
Say more about that. Why are you anti-church? And what does that even mean? The church was a part of my parents' divorce because it's filled with broken people, doing a lot of broken things, doing very self-serving, screwed up things that I don't believe are anything close to what's actually written in the Bible.
00:45:15
Speaker
So I'm a firm believer in the concept of Jesus and he's the savior. And I 100% believe that, but I'm also definitely a free spirit. I'm like a worldly individual. And so like, I love the concept of what church should be, but I also could define this as church where it's good camaraderie with people that we love in a setting where we're breaking bread, having wine, getting to know each other deeper. Like this is where Jesus would be in my opinion.
00:45:45
Speaker
not the fucking church that we think he should be in, or the worship service on the Sunday morning that always happens. Now, I believe there's some beautiful churches out there. Truly, like, they're doing what it should be, but I think most of it's so horrifically broken, and so, to me, I think it's more, like, it's not the whole fluffy, like, do whatever you want to make you happy, blah, blah, blah, sort of, like, I'm not that kind of Christian. I do believe there's truth there. Like, I think there's truth, and if we're gonna commit our lives to actually following this,
00:46:13
Speaker
concept of what Jesus is and who I believe he is. But I am- Who do you believe he is? I believe he's perfect. I believe he's the son of man. And I believe he died on the cross to save our sins. And I- Sure, but what- No, see, she's shutting me down. Sorry, I don't mean to shut you down, but I just mean like, those are all like nice things to say, but what's the action item? Like what things are you doing in your life? It's going to Brazil tomorrow.
00:46:44
Speaker
Truth be told. To live out the teachings that you think. If we want to get pretty real.
00:47:04
Speaker
Here we go. So there's been probably two seasons of my life that I've been like suicidal, bluntly, like I've been there. And so the concept of Jesus in that circumstance is that when I've been in that dark of a spot, it's been because I feel like I'm causing more harm to the world than helping the world. And I think what the creator Jesus that I believe in,
00:47:30
Speaker
somebody that convinces you the reason you are around is to make other people's lives better, not to improve your own circumstance. And so to me, who he is, is somebody who, number one, I believe he's in all of us. And so one of the reasons I have kind of that.
00:47:46
Speaker
larger than life high in life attitude is like I believe there's Jesus in you and in you and that may not be something you believe in but it's like let's go find the magic of who you are as a human being and I want to go spend my entire life spending that with other people and if that's moments that seasons if that's whatever like
00:48:03
Speaker
that's to me how I'm kind of chasing him is like how can I go find the most like the most amount of sky that I possibly can. That animating thing. Exactly because like that that to me is like what I think like Jesus is and so to me like in some of the darkest of spots and actually I'm
00:48:20
Speaker
It's kind of interesting we're talking about this because I talked about this last night with a friend. Like I kind of want to write a book that's like the 365 letters that I wish I would have written to the people that I thought about when I was in my darkest spots. You should. Yeah. That sounds interesting. So to me like that, that's in my opinion who Jesus was all the time was he was writing those letters to people and he was coming into their lives.
00:48:42
Speaker
to be a part of who they are whether it's totally screwed up and not interested in the Jesus that he's supposed to follow if it's just more like hey you're in a tough spot in life let's just like spend time together and we don't need to talk about this super important thing right now like let's just let's just be right right so to me like i'm the probably most
00:49:04
Speaker
Non-religious person and I don't I don't I don't want to categorize myself as spiritual because There's times that I've thought I've been like man. That's the Holy Spirit It's like now that's just a hot chick that you're finding hot like right. Oh the good Lord speaking to me Yes, she's the one like I I've been so you're just horny man exactly I've been so horrifically misled by very own like what I and it's totally self-serving, but I
00:49:29
Speaker
I do firmly believe in the concept of God, the concept of Jesus, and I stand by that. And on the flip side, I've also experienced myself and also know so many people who've been so burned and hurt by the human version of church. Oh, sure.
00:49:47
Speaker
And that's across all, there's no particular version of, it's Muslim, it's Jews, it's Christians, it's Catholics, it's all of them that have hurt people. And that's to me- Hey, I just wanna go ahead and re-introduce the idea that Catholics are Christians. I know that that's foreign to you, but I'm just gonna go ahead and put that into your head. And round two, when we debate- No, no, no, no, I really appreciate everything you said, because I think, like everything you just said,
00:50:14
Speaker
Um, actually very much speaks to me because it's, it's sort of like the way that the whole concept of, I don't really know what the fuck's going on. I've got to find a system that works for me, but like, that's how it works. Like, yeah.
00:50:37
Speaker
And there's so much that's wrong about various versions of religion, right? Like the different ways that things have gone bad for thousands of years. I mean, honestly, since we become, like since we climbed out of the fucking trees, we're awful when we build systems around religion.
00:51:02
Speaker
We don't really know how to do it around anything. Yeah. You know, you're right. Yeah. So, but that's, that's a downfall of humanity, not necessarily a downfall of systems, you know, like our humanity seeps into everything we do. So even if the core of something is beautiful and good,
00:51:26
Speaker
humans just have this talent of corrupting things and finding evil in things. And it's weird for me because I am a person, I would say I'm not a person who subscribes to any faith. And I would even say, I specifically don't really believe in any Christian or Catholic belief because I've really had to,
00:51:55
Speaker
I don't know, confront that because I was braced that way where I've had to think like, do I really believe this? Do I really follow this because it is what I'm doing right now because I live in a household that does follow this, but is this something that is from my own heart or is it just something that I'm doing because everybody around me is doing it? And I got to the point where I was like, right. Where I realized it's not, it's not driven.
00:52:23
Speaker
from my own heart. It's not something that I really believe in, but what you said about finding the magic in each person and trying to cultivate that, that definitely is something that I love. I think it's in Romans, but basically one of the things that is talked about is that there is a peace of Christ in all of us.
00:52:49
Speaker
One of the coolest callings that I think Christ gave to the Gospels and ultimately us right is or the sorry the disciples and ultimately us is basically
00:53:00
Speaker
like you have more power than I do and you're calling to go out and live that and live that on behalf of me. And I think like to me, the way that I view that is, oh, Scott, you're supposed to be holier than thou. No, no, no. It's more so like there is a special piece of the greatest creator of all time and the only creator of all time, but whatever. And that lives in you. And so let's go spend our friendship together finding that.
00:53:27
Speaker
And that to me is like, that's kind of where I feel totally called. And I don't know what the end result is. That's just how I view friendships. Yeah, and I see that in you. And I think that Rebecca, I think that you are in a different spot than what Rebecca is expressing. And I have another different expression of it. Like my whole thing, my core about religion is a concept of being made in the image and likeness of a creator.
00:53:57
Speaker
And the idea that if I'm made in the image and likeness of God or the creator, then
00:54:06
Speaker
There's something special about that. And I think it's kind of, there's like a, there's a thread that can be put between these three different perspectives. There's definitely a commonality between all of our opinions. But it's, it doesn't mean we all agree with each other. It doesn't mean that we all worship the same way. It doesn't mean it, like, it just means maybe we all have imperfect connections to something bigger.
00:54:36
Speaker
And I'm okay with that. One really simple commonality to all this is that his first miracle, public miracle, was making water and wine. And I think we all have some wine. And we are all holding wine up. Are you trying to become Catholic tonight, Matt? I'm like a new way you're going immediately. Yeah. Okay. Interesting.
00:55:03
Speaker
If we want to move on, I have a second. Yeah. So, OK, I think we should move on to our next topic. That's smart. Our next topic chronologically. Oh, chronologically? Adaptationally. I'm going to actually probably feel still long enough. Bigger beef. From an evolutionary standpoint. Mr. Fidge. Mr. Fidge, bigger beef. We are on year 14,000. OK. Finches. OK. What is your actual answer to bigger beef? But in our podcast.
00:55:33
Speaker
The next topic was pets, but pets. Oh, it's a good one. You do. It's a good one for me. Would you like to talk about pets? Yeah. I've got the most perfect golden retriever of all time. Her name is Penelope. She is just her name. Do you know that that is the name?
00:55:55
Speaker
I feel like my life is just interconnecting with Bridgerton between the name of Penelope, between some inappropriate jokes we made during the intermission, and the creamer. This is where I was gonna go eventually anyway. Penelope also is a short ginger. She might be your dream girl, actually, for real. I have never dated anybody shorter than me, just so you guys are, just we're on record. That's pretty much impossible.
00:56:25
Speaker
Yeah, but also a statistically relevant fact. Okay. Well, some people are into short guys. Are they really? Yes. They're more into confidence. I will acknowledge that. Just give me a little laughter and you look a foot taller. I promise you it works every time. Yeah, to be fair, I'm five foot.
00:56:44
Speaker
I mean, I was there. I'm five foot three on my license, but technically I'm five foot two. But a lot of people, when I say I'm five foot two, they're like, really? You seem so much taller. You know, it's like the because your personality. Yeah.
00:57:04
Speaker
I have literally had a few people be like, you have such a large personality, I didn't know how. Large, I get. Tall, nope. Well, I guess that's what I mean. I don't really mean like. No, you're not tall. Okay, so I've dissected this with plenty of women. Most of the things that they say are the reason they're not into shorter guys is it's a security thing. It's like, I want the comfort of potentially a man being able to
00:57:32
Speaker
That is not what I thought you meant. I thought you meant like they're not into short guys because short guys are usually insecure. No, no, no. It's more like I want to feel safe or I want to feel like comforted. Like that's the thing that a lot of, I'm not saying it's rational. That's just, I've had open conversations with both people I've dated and like friends that I feel close with.
00:57:54
Speaker
It's not something I bring up, but a lot of people are like, so how do you feel about being short? I'm like, how do you feel about just having an awful personality? That's a really mean. It doesn't bother me
Height, Humor, and Comedy Aspirations
00:58:03
Speaker
out here. People say that to you? All the time.
00:58:05
Speaker
Oh, everybody thinks it's just about weight and race and why. No, no, I'm short of shit and I get made, I get made fun of for my height 10 times a day. Well, yeah. I mean that I- But also I dish out a lot of shit. So I like, I accept that where I'm in the world. But like it is, it is a very much a discriminatory thing, but I don't care. It is what it is. So all I gotta do is I gotta figure out better traits to accommodate, to be a better human being. And I'm good.
00:58:33
Speaker
Oh, okay, see, even that, it's like, I don't mind short dudes, but it's when the short dudes make them being short my problem. It's like, I don't give a fuck that. Oh yeah, it's never gonna be somebody else's problem. I don't give a fuck that you're short. But if you give a fuck that you're short, then it's an issue. Oh god, that's never gonna work. He always makes it a joke, not an issue. Exactly. Well, at least for me, I'm not trying to date him. It's so much better being short of half the shampoo costs.
00:59:02
Speaker
and body washcloth. I'm not sure about that. You're pretty fucking hairy. No, I'm not. I'm very un-hairy. I'm a very non-hairy. I have no hair on my butt. Don't need to know about that. Welcome to Shallowland.
00:59:18
Speaker
Yeah. Deep breaths out of the brew, and they wanted to go everywhere until it's not fun, got it. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, it's... Well, we'll let you know when it's not fun. Back to pets and hairy creatures. So back to pets. Hey, don't you have...
00:59:36
Speaker
other animals in your life. We have some barn cats. Well, there's one that you mentioned earlier this evening. Tell me about Toby. No, tell me about, what the fuck is it? It's named Banana. No, no, not yet. No, we're gonna go Toby first. Okay, who's Toby? I don't know Toby. Tell us about Toby. So through the,
00:59:59
Speaker
What? Through the what? Through the what? Through my father. Oh, I thought it was just your little... No, he is. I'm just saying. Through my father, to give everybody some context, we have some horses. So this is your brother horse? How many horses do you have? Or does your father have? Well, at the farm, there's eight, but we own...
01:00:21
Speaker
Uh, 15 others that are not at the farm. That's so obnoxious of me. Yeah. He's special. He's so special. I just want you to know that saying, well, at the farm.
01:00:31
Speaker
What do you want? Like rage in my soul. Okay. That was so obnoxious. You're wrong by even saying the facts. No matter what you were going to say, incorrect, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Did I ever say incorrect or wrong? All I said was it was annoying. You said that was wrong. No, no. Playback. She said that was wrong. No, she said she got rage. And I was enraged because it is annoying and enraging. Fine. But it could be true. This is the time. I'm not playing it back either. Yeah, no. Fuck you. Definitely not.
01:01:00
Speaker
But even Kathleen's gonna be like, you know what, Matt was right on that one. No. Absolutely not. Fuck you all. Kathleen. Matt. I'm gonna win you over, Kathleen. Trust me. Tell me about your fucking mini horse. We have a tiny pony named Toby. He looks like Shrek. No, we don't. I mean, he looks like Doctor Shrek. You do. And when you ride the mini horse, it looks like a normal sized human riding a normal sized horse.
01:01:27
Speaker
And neither one of those things is true. Oh, that's so mean. I love it. Yeah. And he gets, he's a total bastard towards me. Like, I think it's literally like, I walk in and he's like, short guy, short guy, I'm going to kick you. Tell me how many harness phrases you've won with Toby. We've won one competition and we've lost one competition. And in both circumstances, there was one other. Do you know that when I was like 10, I did horseback riding lessons for like,
01:01:54
Speaker
Two or three years on a normal sized horse. Yeah. If you fall on Toby, it feels good. That's gross. If you, if you, if you're like, if you roll off, that's fine. I've never fallen off a horse, but like landing on a beanball pit. Good.
01:02:22
Speaker
But I did writing lessons for like two or three years and my teacher finally convinced me to like do some sort of competition. I don't even remember what I was entered into because she just like, she was German. She was German. She was mean. Into doing it. She was real mean. That happens to a lot of people in generations. Again, I was... I think a German question.
01:02:44
Speaker
I was like 10 or 11. I was small and they entered me into this competition and they put me on Caspian, the big black stallion. That's right. And they put our oldest student on Snoopy, our miniature horse. So her feet touched the ground while she was sitting on Snoopy and I was bareback on Caspian, the 10 foot tall horse as a 10 year old. And I got.
01:03:10
Speaker
Ate the place. Well done. Of eight people. Hey, but you finished? Fuck yeah. And you placed? I placed. Did you fall off the horse? I did not fall off the horse. You did not. Caspian was actually very kind to me. Caspian? Considering he definitely was like... Did he not cast iron the German horse? Caspian was your boy, bitch.
01:03:28
Speaker
at the end of it. No, Caspian was like this tiny child, this poor thing. Can we just lean into the narrative a little bit and say Caspian was here? No, it's just not true. Caspian was crying to me. Okay, truth teller, boring. Well, the joke was bad. I heard it. I just didn't laugh because it was bad. And my narrative was bad, apparently, too. Yeah, this is the rage coming out. All right. Top of change. Positive, positive, next positive change. It's obnoxious. You go.
01:03:57
Speaker
Hey, Matt. Talk to us. This sounds pre-written. Hey, Matt. Hey, Matt. Let me screenplay. Hey, Matt. You really think. I wasn't insecure about them until now. Well, you mentioned them as a negative earlier. Check my watch, Dan. Okay. Hey, guys. Sorry. Bring it back. Sorry. Audience.
01:04:25
Speaker
What's up, Kathleen? You really think you want to be a stand-up comedian? No, I'm not doing a bit right now. You're doing one minute right now. Kill Tony. Kill Tony practice. I literally don't. Kill Tony practice right now. I knew when I said that text last night. I knew when I said that text last night. Then what the fuck are you talking about? By the way, what was 850,000 seconds? It was eight hours. I was timing how long it took me. I don't have a bit. I'm not even going to try to because for two reasons.
01:04:54
Speaker
Two bits that I have that I'm so close. No, no, no, no, no. I can't screw it up I'm not I promise you it's not gonna happen. There are 20 people who listen to this No, I'm saying you should try us out. We'll be a little mini kilter
01:05:11
Speaker
Scott, you know me so well by now. I promise you it's not gonna happen because I'm so close and you gotta love me. You're so full of shit. I get it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kathleen. I disappointed you. No, no, no. No, you're disappointing me, man. No, I'm worried about her. She's gonna be fine with it. You're just accommodating her. To me, you're failing me. I know, I totally am. And I'm willing to accept that.
01:05:39
Speaker
Okay. So what you're really saying is you don't have shit. A hundred percent. You don't have shit, but you're, I haven't heard this from you, but I did hear it from him. Um, that you desire to be a standup comedian. Is this true? No, no, no. Um, okay.
01:06:02
Speaker
Is this true? Can I tell you what my immediate thought was? It's just you guys keep cutting me off to do your little bro thing and I want to say my thing. I don't think you're funny.
01:06:22
Speaker
That's just- Bam! She just- I think you are- She just threw it down. What was that whole thing we talked about at our little pre-cocktail was like, you know, your friends, if you can be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I should respect that. You got it. Thank you, Rebecca.
01:06:38
Speaker
and try to be brave. Please tell me more. I don't think you're funny. I think the jokes that you make are fun to laugh at because they're so bad. And I think that your life is fun to laugh at. And you as a person are fun. That's even really morbid. Now it's just, and I want the listeners to know I am emotionally okay based upon what just happened. Oh, he's fine. He's fine. And I need to get paper towels because there's so much blood everywhere. Yeah, based upon what just happened to me.
01:07:08
Speaker
But I don't see you as a standard comedian and I'd love to know, I'd love to know what's up there. It's really, you want to know what's going on my brain or you want to know what, so to me,
01:07:28
Speaker
No bullshit. The way that I view most things in life is like, that is a cool challenge that I wanna go try to figure out. If it's worth my intellectual and, A, can I do it? B, is it intellectually stimulating? B, is C, C, sorry. Whoa, hey, whoa! A, B, B, three, four, five. One more finch, add it, we're fine. Okay, bring it back home.
01:07:54
Speaker
So, what's the next prime number? I don't know. I don't believe in prime numbers. Easy Terrence, take two, square root it, double it, square root it, double it, and now we are in the murder trap. Okay, but what do you show back to the point of the stand up? Do you think she ran that joke too long and now it's not funny anymore? Yeah, a lot of deferring off of why you don't have one minute. By the way, not looking at your guys' feedback right now. One minute of stand up. Thank you for offering it. I really appreciate that you guys are so willing to offer the exact,
01:08:22
Speaker
derivative of the moment. Don't derivative your eye roll. You're still using that term improperly. I use derivatives in my actual work a lot. Do you know what a derivative is? No, he doesn't. Oh, now we're just going to do the whole, you talk about the bro moment. This is the family moment. Tag team. No, it's not the family moment. It's the smart people moment is what it is. I couldn't do a derivative. Yes, you could. No, I could not. I could not still do that. You could for sure because
01:08:53
Speaker
but also getting up on stage in a one minute environment where it's the scariest, most difficult, not, but like the most difficult environment you have to perform and your performance is not playing, like so I love playing off the crowds. I public speak enough that I hate talking, but I like being in front of people to the point where it's Q and A. I am not, so I've done, I've done two hour long sessions in front of,
01:09:22
Speaker
One was a thousand people, one was 5,000 people. So I've done, I hate that because that's like me being the expert in the room. I don't enjoy having to come up with enough content to be like, like that's not me. In front of 5,000 HR people.
01:09:42
Speaker
Okay, done. What I'm asking for is a minute now. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I know, I'm just saying. What I love though is I very much enjoy being in front of a crowd where it's like Q and A or like a call response type thing. Yeah. Like that's very fun for me. I think I'm pretty good. Like that's where like some of the wit and also I can say a bad joke and I can call my own bad joke out and that's funny for me. Okay, but let me challenge you because a standup comedian is not only crowd work. I don't even say their crowd work is
01:10:11
Speaker
So that's what I'm trying to say. To go up and deliver a minute of raw funniness is the next most difficult for me. That is going to be so hard for me to put something together. Okay. Well, I see what he's saying. He's saying he's good with the person to person thing, but what he's not so confident in is just standing there and delivering.
01:10:38
Speaker
without any feedback from the people. But that's kind of what comedy is. I mean, you get feedback through laughter, but other than that, you know. But I agree with that. And that's why I'm challenging him to say, just like in the moment. Give us a minute, Matt. I don't know. And we will respond. We will be your feedback. You can crowd work with us. We will crowd work for you
01:11:05
Speaker
You don't even have that. You just have this idea. No, I'm just a sitting failure. Okay, brother. But I'm totally, and that's the best part about, I'm willing to sit here and accept that. I had that, by the way, on my little, on my little note card, on my,
01:11:25
Speaker
my frickin' Post-it note, I had this. Was that the brain cell he just used? I had this. Was he trying to come up with what Post-it note? It was Post-it? You know Yellowpad? You know whiteboards? Yellow? Wait a minute, that's in the top. Postcard, no! Okay, but it's- Three by five cards. It's one and a half press. But Matt, it's actually worse for you. And it's yellow, and I turn it. It's actually worse for you because I had that for like 25 minutes. No.
01:11:53
Speaker
Oh my gosh. But you just don't have any content. No. He has nothing to say. Nothing. And honestly, I respect that honesty. Yeah, interesting. You should work on it. You should work on it a little bit. You should work on it a little bit. And I didn't show up prepared. Did you tell him to show up prepared? No, no, no. Sorry, to show up unprepared. And I did that.
01:12:13
Speaker
But you also told me that you wanted to go on Kill Tony and create your stand-up comedy career. And I was like, okay, give me a minute. I'm not ready for the bit right now, but here's one thing I recognize I don't have the skill set for, is what those guys are not, those guys, they all- Stand-up comedy, I know. That's the skills that you're not prepared for. Those guys are all, the difference between, so we're,
01:12:41
Speaker
that whatever I'm about to say, you're automatically gonna judge. So I'm just gonna say, take a step back. That's all I become friends. Where I think I'm, where I enjoy humor and I think I'm decent is it's more banter back and forth, just shooting the shit, making fun of my own self, blah, blah, blah. Where standup comedians are really good is they will try a bit and if that bit doesn't land in the moment, they have another bit ready to go that they'll pull out. That is something, that's a skill set I don't have.
01:13:07
Speaker
No, I don't even know if that's true. I think stand-up comedians are really good at being able to think on their feet, which I think you do have. But that's the thing, is they're not playing off the crowd. They're only playing off the lack of crowd's reaction, ready for another bit that didn't land. The last one didn't land. I think the only thing that you're lacking here is preparation.
01:13:30
Speaker
I think that you have the skill set, but all you have to do is put in the work to prepare. So we opened with, he's not funny and we landed with, he's not prepared. Hell yeah, choose that. What did we watch? We watched Taylor Tomlin. Have you seen this girl? Wait, hang on. We have a whole thing.
01:13:55
Speaker
No, I want you to talk because this is your idea. No, no, I don't have any ideas. Okay, well, Taylor Tomlinson is a comedian. She just released her third Netflix special. And we've been a fan of her since I've been a fan of her since before her first Netflix special. But since you were in high school, we loved her first special. We hated her second special. And her third one is beautiful. We actually saw it live. Yep. But while we were watching her third special, we thought,
01:14:24
Speaker
This is the perfect woman in that backstory. Oh my gosh, that's just pretty destroyed my heart. She would. You're going to go home and jerk off to two times. Speaking of, what was the show you were talking about? That's where she, you wanted me to lead with that, but that's not a cheers. That's a fist bump.
01:14:50
Speaker
Anyway, Matt, you gotta go do some Taylor Thomas. At least watch her most recent one on Netflix. She's a pro. She's so funny. She's so fucking good. She's so funny. Also, she's around your age, I think. Yeah, I think right around. She's squinted as if that's like a... No, I think that's right. I think she's... I mean, do you want me to just go reach out to her? Yep. Yeah, try it. But also, like,
01:15:16
Speaker
in your small boy energy way. Like, hey, I know you don't really care about little people, but... Make sure she knows that she's the one in charge. Yeah. She's more of a taking control of the... She just... I actually, at this point, from watching that special, like actual release special,
01:15:43
Speaker
She's like a hundred percent raw, real and human. And she also, I follow her on TikTok speaking up and she, she tells a story in her most recent special about going to the ER because she thinks that she swallowed an air pod in her sleep and everybody was like, it's going to be like a made up story for the comedy. It's like the new version of blowing loud. Nope. Nope.
01:16:12
Speaker
He needs to be removed from our home, actually. I'm done. I'm done with this, actually. We're going to finish talking about Taylor first. Pause it. Pause it. Pause the shit. But I don't know how to pause. Yes, you do. You do.
01:16:33
Speaker
All right, welcome back. We have no fucking idea what we were talking about. Much need to pee break, twice. We all had to pee. I'm eating goldfish. They hit some kind of smoke break of some kind. I don't know. Water break. Water break. Yeah, that's it. We're almost done with our wine. But the last official topic we talked about, I think was stand up comedy. Yes.
Dating Apps: Awkward Experiences
01:17:04
Speaker
We were there. Yeah. Matt declining declining our option to because he's a coward. Yeah.
01:17:12
Speaker
Grade A weenie. My next topic, I actually am very interested in knowing your opinion about. I don't like when you both, okay, by the way, for those of you not watching, because there's no video, they both have this thing where when they're ready to get aggressive, they both look towards me, shoulder centered, and then they also have this thing where they're both engaged in the next topic, and they readjust in their chair, grab their wine, and just kind of move physically closely. We lift up.
01:17:41
Speaker
and turn towards him aggressively. So I am a small guy and don't take up a lot of couch and they're invading my space. That is what's happening. So coming to you live from Rebecca, what do you got for us? My favorite part about you is that you don't take up a lot of space. It's like my favorite part. I wish all men were like you.
01:18:01
Speaker
Hashtag hints profiles. Take up the space! I have not told you my two dating app experiences. Please tell us before we fall. It's actually pretty good, pretty good content right here.
01:18:13
Speaker
Twice. I've had hinge for maybe less than 30 minutes total. Two separate occasions. I have, well, one was forced upon me. One, I was like, all right, I'll try it. So two years ago, I think I had to have told you the story. Two years ago, my sister over Thanksgiving was like, Hey, I need to hook you up with like, you need to be on hinge. We start dating the whole thing, blah, blah, blah.
01:18:35
Speaker
created a profile, very first person that was like, we recommend this person you are, however it works, one of my employees. Oh no. So I was like, Nope, can't do that. We're out of here. Not going to happen. Yep. So that's that. Okay. So four months ago, I was like, you know what? I've had some dates in between a little bit of a low. You know what? Why don't we try this whole dating app thing? Okay.
01:19:00
Speaker
Downloaded hinge, connected, she was super cute. Nurse, we started texting back and forth, talking about meeting up, this whole thing, okay? Regardless of where you stand on this topic, she looked up because she was a nurse, my vaccine status, sent me a screenshot and was not interested to go on a date because of whatever that status was, she was not, no longer wanted to pursue.
01:19:27
Speaker
That's a violation of a bunch of stuff. So I'm pretty sure that's not legal. Yeah, you dodged some stuff there. I have deleted him twice now because of those two reasons. Can I ask a stupid question? Yeah, go ahead, dad.
01:19:43
Speaker
What is Hinge? It's the, theoretically, Tinder's like hookup, Bumble's like niche. Hinge is like, if you, again, I'm just, just don't, don't niche. Bumble is like, do you know what a Disney adult is?
01:20:06
Speaker
No. It's a rare moment she's defending me. I feel like you were trying to tell me what a Disney adult was with your Bridgett Menlord thing. It's like an adult person, like 35 years old, who's really weirdly obsessed with kids stuff. And they're like that type of person. Very innocent. But intentionally and annoyingly so.
01:20:39
Speaker
Hinge. You go ahead, I've never been on Hinge. From what I've been told. So this is how I was told. Hinge is like, if you want to, it's all a grand slam of a diamond in the rough. Hinge is the one where it's like, if you want to reasonably kind of try to find somebody, everybody that I know who has married the person they met on a dating app came from Hinge. Yeah. I'm not. Really? That's the one. That's a good way to phrase it.
01:20:53
Speaker
Like playing the role. But forcing you to like, you know, adapt to that. So that's Bumble.
01:21:06
Speaker
So I was like, I'll give it a shot. And two, like- You're not on Raya? No, I don't even know what Raya is. Raya is like- The hooker boy? Celebrities. How's Grindr working for you?
01:21:19
Speaker
Oh, he knows what Grindr is, but he doesn't know what it is. Weird how he's like, I don't know. Bumble, hinge. He even doesn't even know what Twitter is, but he's like, you know what? Grindr. I read the internet, you guys. Come on. Oh, recommended. You should read this. Grindr.
01:21:41
Speaker
I was asking how it was working for you, man. And hypothetically, this podcast is not about Mr. Brood, it's about Mr. Baxter. And by the way, how's your Grindr profile? Ew. I'm kind of on like, one thing you don't know about the old one. Only one of us has a profile in Grindr. No, move on, please. I'm on this Christian dating app and my username is Kelly gets home. Who did you say that from? I know it's not from you originally, you bitch.
01:22:13
Speaker
So anyways, how are you guys doing? At least you're not offended Rebecca. Oh no, there was a topic here. And I, I veered away with dating apps, which is actually a hell of a tier. He offended everyone. You asked, uh, and you're doing this because you don't remember. So don't even trust. Oh yeah, he did. What?
Growing Up and Finding Fulfillment
01:22:42
Speaker
Perfect amount of dead air. Great job, guys. Guys, this is going to go real viral. We can get some of this out. Yeah, he definitely asked. What was next on your list, Dad? No, it was definitely you. I promise he was you. Because he was going to ask, and then you just went right for it. No, I was going to ask, but I don't think I ever said it out loud. What's the next on your list? Growing up.
01:23:07
Speaker
Oh god. See? We didn't talk about it. Good thing we got the brown stuff out. I was right the whole time. No, I'm happy to go for it. What was it? Growing up. Growing up. I think we had a really good episode on Growing Up. It was while we were in Chicago and we were, so we were in the same city. I think we should have started here, but okay. Well, I'm going, like I said, chronologically. Right, right. We hit on pets with your golden retriever, but honestly, I don't, I don't really want to spend any more time on that. Yeah, it seems dumb. Yeah, it seems dumb. So we talked about,
01:23:38
Speaker
how the qualifications of having grown up and being a grown up are different now than they were when he was a grown up and when I felt grown up. And then we started defining what being grown up means. And we couldn't really nail down a conclusion. So what are your thoughts? What do you think being grown up means?
01:24:12
Speaker
I mean, as a small person. When you're three quarters of the size grown up, what's your interpretation knowing that you're not going to go any further past that? I think growing up is equally realizing that everything's on you.
01:24:32
Speaker
but also it's realizing that like life's not about you. And to me it's like this, like I've gone through these weird kind of ebbs and flows. Like I come from a horrifically privileged family, but people who worked really hard. Horrifically? Yeah, I come from multi-generations of doctors. Why would you say it that way though? More so in the sense of like,
01:24:56
Speaker
A perfect combination of I come from generation of people who've worked hard enough to set the next generation up for success. Right. I understand that.
01:25:08
Speaker
Why would you use the term horrific? Maybe that's the wrong term. Are you being just smashed down by a little culture? You're allowed to actually be... Oh yeah, that's where it's gonna go. It's basically in the sense of like I come from a multi multi multi multi multi generation of
01:25:29
Speaker
successful people previously that have done an amazing job at setting the next generation up for success, but also have made some amazing sacrifices to get there and also work very, like each generation has done on its own. So, um, so don't fuck it up. Yeah, basically that's like the, I'm the first non-Dr. Baxter, I think in like six generations. There's still hope for you. Isn't that wild? That's a lot of pressure. You're only 30. Oh no, I've already elected to choose. I'm, I'm, I'm past the pressure. I don't care.
01:25:59
Speaker
Well, it must have been a lot of pressure, I guess, then, if I, you know, let's be specific. Why did you, like, when did you realize, like, fuck that, I'm not gonna do that. Ride away. Immediately, as soon as you were conscious. I mean, how did you know? Pretty quickly was like, I... What was your first job? Uh, mowing lawns. What was your first business? Mowing lawns. Oh.
01:26:27
Speaker
and I quickly realized that like I could
01:26:33
Speaker
Like I enjoyed the freedom to create, like the way that I view business, career, making money, and I've equally screwed plenty of things up. But like to me, it's totally a canvas that I get to be the painter of. And I get to go create some form of, whether it's like with my lawn care in the, at the time I was a high school student. I could go work the summer hours I wanted, but I worked a lot because I wanted to have money to go do some fun things.
01:27:01
Speaker
So to me, it was a super cool freedom of that. And then I quickly realized, A, I don't want to go to school until I'm 32-ish to then start building a career. And B, I am so anti-structure. Structure scares me. I'm anti-traditional rules. So anything that would require me to become a doctor was not going to happen. So that's why you went to Hope College. Yeah.
01:27:31
Speaker
because structure wasn't your thing. You know, the most structuralist school out there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I know how, I understand you're spinning a tail here, but wow. Doesn't really make sense. Well, I, I mean, can you, could you see him as a doctor?
01:27:50
Speaker
Well, no, but I also think he's full of shit when he says, I wouldn't want to do all that because I was such a hero. And so I went to fucking college. I read that as being like.
01:28:03
Speaker
I also took, this is awesome. This is where the ping pong goes on. Yeah. The first ACT score I took, I got like a 23. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I took it again, I got a 35. And it was literally like, my dad looked at me and he goes, this is why we shouldn't be. Son, we gotta learn statistics. Median mean. This is why you shouldn't be doing anything that requires kind of consistent mentality.
01:28:31
Speaker
which you know surgery is part of that like oh god no bit of a bipolar intelligence you are not allowed to cut into my body matthew i know i even cut my own face i yeah because it's tough you got confused in the moment cool scars in the moment you got confused like especially since i have literally had a beard for the last five years and the first time i'm like shaving but one cut also also
01:28:56
Speaker
I have a cut that looks like that. Like it's so dramatic. And the answer to the shaving. So hot. No. It's so embarrassing. That guy's been wild for a while. It's really bad. It's really bad, man. I wish we were on video so that people could see. It's not like a I beat off the guy. That sounds bad.
01:29:18
Speaker
I was able to fight off the guys that were trying to attack me. It's more. You are trying to, you're trying to undig your grave from, I actively beat off the guy. You're just trying to tell. To be fair, I was using your voice at that point. I'm just saying. But not my words.
01:29:48
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you so much. I finally finally this is a moment where it's us two against you You guys are not allowing me to move home. Oh, trust me. How do you think the finches feel? It just kind of you just kind of have to accept it Matt the finches have evolved. Oh, trust me. I know we're definitely having way more fun than anybody listening
01:30:14
Speaker
We have not said a single thing of value in the last 15 minutes. It's been a lot of air moving. Oh, 15? A lot of air moving. I think it's probably two hours. We're having an hour and 30 minutes? An hour and 30. Well, we were definitely talking about something like that. Even in the before times, we were not saying anything of value.
01:30:33
Speaker
Okay. We're just making fun of them. It wasn't a land far, far away. It was just the before times. The before times. We did ask you a question and then you started talking about dating apps. Cool. Hit me with a question. You want me to say it again? What do you think classifies somebody as being grown up? Oh, I think I kind of started to answer this. It was basically along the lines of like,
01:30:59
Speaker
growing up is realizing it's all in you, but also realizing life's not about you. Right. And so to me like that answer by the way, I mean, it sounds great and nice, but like, what does that actually mean? The segue to the family that then somehow turned into like the dating apps all started like
01:31:14
Speaker
I- Where did the Instagram models come in? Oh man. Sorry. Whenever you guys are ready. I'm gonna go get ice. I'm excited about that. So that we can move on to the- No, keep going. So, I have been, I've worked very hard in my life when given opportunities to do so in things that I care about. My lawn care, company wedge, in certain circumstances, school, but like very select, narrow things.
01:31:42
Speaker
And I've also recognized that a lot of the luxuries that I've been given is because people before me have worked very hard. So now that I'm a little bit older and I've taken some pretty big financial swings, both with my own money and other people's money, it's not like, oh, I'm just kind of waiting to get to this next stage, like graduating school, and then it's all going to be good. It's like, no, no, this is real life. This is on me. I'm taking a risk. I'm taking the ownership of what I'm trying to do.
01:32:10
Speaker
So that's in one area where it's like, I recognize how much I'm
01:32:18
Speaker
taking control of what my life is gonna be. And when things go well, that's a very good thing. When things go poor, that's way worse than most people's outcome, right? Flips out of that. I've recognized that I spend so much of my time obsessing over my own outcome that every time I've been in a really good spot in life, whether that's actually existing or just mentally existing, to me, it's when I spend so much of my time focusing on other people. And it's like,
01:32:47
Speaker
spending more time trying to make my own circumstance better versus spending more time making others better. And that's always resulted in a better personal life circumstance when I do that. And that's where it's like, it comes into play where I think, I think it's so much comes down to, it's like, it is all in us and it's up to us and like,
01:33:13
Speaker
it comes down to some of the decisions, trajectory, life choices we make on a regular, repeatable basis. But at the same time, life is not about us. And I think the more people I get to know that obsess over making other people's lives better in the world, those are the people I want to spend most of my time with. Wow. Why are you here then? I mean, with us. You got a nice wine.
01:33:43
Speaker
It, we have the urban. And she cheers is a lot. Yeah. When people offer me a cheers, like you just throw a cheer. You know, man, I want to challenge you a little bit. All that sounded a lot like, um, someone who didn't have it too hard. Sure. Well, I was just going to say like, again, that all does sound very nice, but like,
01:34:13
Speaker
the people that I've known who have dedicated their lives to making everybody around them happy to their own detriment have been the saddest people I've known. So, like, I do think you gotta put your own mask on first. You know, if you're, if you are suffocating, you're not gonna be able to help anybody else. So when I hear people say, you know, I'm gonna dedicate my life
01:34:42
Speaker
to helping other people. It's like, but, but you at least have to survive too. Right. Like when I feed myself, I'm able to give to everybody around me more effectively. So I don't know. I just, I just, I, when I hear like that kind of rhetoric from people or that kind of speak, it just like raises my alarm points because
01:35:09
Speaker
Everybody that I've heard talk like that before has just been very sad and unfulfilled. Marisa. What do you want fulfilled? Oh, now we're getting into it. I don't think I'm sad or unfulfilled. I've never been, yes. You want some of the bourbon that you brought? Yeah, speaking of. Matt brought us bourbon. Matt, now that we're getting into it, we should probably give Matt some
01:35:40
Speaker
to be myself. There's not really any good way to do this. If anybody is still listening to this episode, they've definitely already had some bad news. Oh my gosh, they're on more than one, they're on more than one substance. That's for sure.
Friendship, Alcohol, and Adulthood
01:35:54
Speaker
I feel like, yeah, I feel like we're failing right now. We're not failing, we're having a blast. Can I have a little more ice in them? Maybe eventually. I like ice.
01:36:09
Speaker
Okay, Matt, you can have whatever you want. It's your bourbon. Like, you brought it, so. I just like a lot of ice. That's all. Here you go. Thank you. Thank you. That's ridiculous. Okay.
01:36:33
Speaker
We're playing now. Yeah, all of that was, I mean, again, sounded really good. That's all. Yeah. But for real, like, what do you think signifies a person as being grown up? Like, stop speaking in metaphors and like... I don't... I know you want to push him further because I think he's got more to give. I do think he has more to give, but I want to recognize that I think that his initial... Yeah.
01:37:03
Speaker
feedback was not bad. Like the idea of like understanding people and giving like, he's not off base. But that feels like more of like a, like a basis for an entire life. You know, like that's like a life purpose. Yeah. But I mean, like,
01:37:29
Speaker
Like, is it when you turn 18? Is it when you move out? Is it when you have a full-time career? Like, what are the actual, like... Okay, fine. He hasn't grown up yet. At the risk of sounding, like, this is my life, okay? So I've been an entrepreneur. I turned 30. I've been an entrepreneur for 15 of those 30 years. So half my life. My life is spent.
01:37:53
Speaker
basically waking up every day and figuring out what the fuck I have to do to fill my own self serving thing that ultimately theoretically adds value to somebody else because I sell a service or product or whatever. So the lens of which I share that is like
01:38:09
Speaker
I am used to waking up and it's on me to, for the most part, make sure the day is taken care of, whether it's my bills, future bills. I'm used to the day-to-day bullshit that I think most people spend majority of their life chasing and they realize there's something more.
01:38:24
Speaker
to me like something that I don't think most people can relate to and I don't find it to be horrifically relevant but like growing up to me has been like how do I so ironically I have a podcast and one of the questions I ask is what gets you out of bed in the morning but I've also had probably three or four years of my life that I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning so it's like most most of my like grown-up life is figuring out how the fuck can I wake up today and actually go do something that I go to bed feeling like that was like worth it
01:38:52
Speaker
And so there's like, and whether that's, okay. So my problem is I typically take things one step further than what's needed. And that's where I'm trying to rein it in a little bit, right? So like, to me, it's having drinks with buddies and I'm really good to having one last drink and something went wrong. Not necessarily like horrific, but it's like, all right, we were a little sloppier. Let's, you know, if we just kept it to three, not four, whatever, stupid shit like that. But like, it's a combination of number one, dealing with my own
01:39:21
Speaker
like very stupid male like just very uh um evolutionary basic
01:39:31
Speaker
Vices, right? So it's like keep going. I think I'm going buddy. So it's like number one with you some of that's like growing up But like I feel like I've recognized those whether it's faith rules moral compass Whatever early okay to start to combat some of that like not saying I'm perfect at it But I feel like I at least know the boundaries of where I'm crossing line now leaning back into that right, right? And then I think now it's like I
01:39:53
Speaker
Okay, so something I'm actively thinking about is like, I'm single and don't have kids. And I've got plenty of people in my life who have kids and are married and got married way too early and they hate their marriage. I know some people who love their marriage, this whole gamut. And so there's very, there's probably 10% of people out there that I'm like, man, your relationship, I'm willing to sacrifice what I have for that. Like that seems cool, at least from what I, and so,
01:40:20
Speaker
To me, a lot of my time right now is spent thinking about not necessarily doing, but how can I put myself in a position that like, it sounds so weird, but like, I'm somebody who I feel like, I'm like prepping myself to, who do I want to be as like a husband or a father?
01:40:38
Speaker
and how can i go live that life as like a single man now and do better than probably what i was doing a year or two years or three years ago where i've had the luxury of being totally loose cannon and it's been awesome and i've had some great stories and i wouldn't regret it for the world and i'm also okay to accept that i might do it for a few more years
01:40:55
Speaker
But to me growing up is like, at some point I want to wake up and be super proud of who I am. And then one day I hope to find somebody and if that doesn't happen, that's okay too. But like one day I hope to find somebody and that I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to be that, but I'm somebody who I would be proud to say, look, I'm broken, but like.
01:41:12
Speaker
I'm who i want to be in front of you or i i've arrived at a point where like i feel like i put in enough work that like i'm excited for this next stage that's kind of grown up to me but that's so niche in my world versus like advice for anybody. So you're saying you want to be able to say.
01:41:33
Speaker
that you've put in the work to be the future self you want to be and then have the opportunity to live that future self. Yeah. So I think hell, maybe not in the concept of like damning somebody to hell, but I think one of the closest versions of hell on earth is this image of like,
01:41:53
Speaker
This is who I was supposed to be and constantly living in that of like, I viewed the perfect version of myself and I compare that to today. Like I think that's what hell is. It's like literally all the things I should have done, thought about doing, could have done, didn't do, lied about, whatever. That's right. And so I'm not trying to say that I like, I want to go live in this perfect version of me. It's more so like, there's things like,
01:42:16
Speaker
Not, and again, this is just like, do I think I'm fat? No, I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I would love to go through the exercise over the next six months and lose 20 pounds. Like, no, you're right size. Thank you. Right. But I'm saying like that effort, there's some business things that I would love to accomplish that like, there's some like just cleaning up the balance sheet of me that it's not super ugly, but like needs a little work and I'm totally okay with that.
01:42:43
Speaker
That's what being an adult is for me right now. But again, within the lens of, I don't have kids, I don't have a spouse. So my answer of that is going to change so much. I think that you're so far ahead of what the actual question is though, that you're trying to answer the question like three, four, five levels beyond what Rebecca is actually asking.
01:43:10
Speaker
What does it mean for you to be fully fulfilled in your life as a person and a human on this planet? It's at what point and what qualifications did you have when you realized that you would cross the boundary from kid to adult? You know, like I have a moment where I realized
01:43:30
Speaker
Fuck, I'm like grown up now and I have to handle this, because nobody else will. Like I know when that was, but also I'm not sitting here like, I'm fully fulfilled in my life and I think I've done everything I need to do, you know? I'm good. Like fuck that, you know? Nor have you decided that you are no longer attached to your family. Right.
01:43:52
Speaker
and don't need any kind of support at all anymore. It's something funny, like literally. So you're 24. OK, so I feel more attached to the help and need of my family at 30 than I did at like 24 and like not because I feel like softer, I feel like, but I'm now more just like I have people in my life that care.
01:44:18
Speaker
just for my well-being with no agenda. You're more connected. And again, it may not be like actually tangibly more help, but it's more like, I feel like I'm finally asking for real help versus like, everything's fine, but like, can you guys just write a check? I promise it's all going. But now it's like, hey, like, and again, whatever the context is, but I feel so much closer. Yeah. Well, I think I have a pretty unique
01:44:43
Speaker
circumstance where I feel like I've always been very connected to my family more than like literally anybody else in the world. So I've always been able to have that relationship. You may feel that way, but it's probably not true for plenty of people who have had great family. Well, yeah, but I feel like most of the people that I meet are like, how's your relationship with your parents?
01:45:07
Speaker
And they say it like, all right, let's start talking about some shit. They're like, they're my best friends. My sisters, my actual best friend. I love hanging out with my parents over almost anybody. I like going and hanging out with my family. Everything about my family at this point is pretty much positive for me. Thank you.
01:45:32
Speaker
You have to say that because it's a podcast that we do together. Right. I can't say anything negative, but... Yeah, Father Scott. I'm not Father Scott. Oh, just Scott. That's weird. His priest is actually Father Scott. Yeah, that's the guy that's going away and making me sad. His name is Ashley.
01:45:49
Speaker
It's like a, it's like a suction. Thanks for making me sad, man. It's not that weird. So, thanks, Matt. Tastes more verbal, so. But, but like. All right, so, here's a different way to. No, no, no, I want her to finish. I want her, I want to hear. Well, I was just gonna rephrase, try to say the question again, because I've now said it like three or four times. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. It's kind of pissing me off, maybe. Who's not getting it, but we'll have to accept that. Okay, let me really spell it out for you this time. I recognize I'm dumb, but like,
01:46:19
Speaker
For example, my answer was when you're at least moved out, I think when you are taking responsibility for your own actions, like you decide something and then you are the person that has to sit in that decision and live with what happens afterward, and nobody is going to save you from that anymore.
01:46:48
Speaker
That is when I think that you're a grown-up person. So what do you think has to happen before you're a grown-up person? Yeah, so the richest I ever was was when I was 22 years old.
01:47:11
Speaker
Cash-wise the richest on paper I've ever been was when I was 29 and a half But I lived at my parents house for six months because I had to sell my counter to make payroll So I believe I'm a full-grown adult But like I literally had to live in my parents house to like survive to see the next day That's but you had moved out like you'd lived on your own. Yeah, but I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh for sure. I'm not saying you can't move back. No parents. I'm just saying my only slight challenge that I was like, yeah Yeah, that's fair
01:47:38
Speaker
It does get complicated. Yeah, there's like, there's like situations where some people don't have the blessing of like, you know, I went to college that I've got loans and then I couldn't go buy a place. So I had to move into my parents, have a good job for a little while. Like things like whatever.
Cultural Insights from Travel
01:47:56
Speaker
So I don't, I'm not going to answer your question to the point where it satisfies you, but here's a few things that I think are really, really important that
01:48:04
Speaker
Once you learn, I think your life is totally free, but that may be not an adult or adult. I think every day you need to belly laugh. I think if you don't truly laugh hard enough, trust me, like all the happiest people that I know find a way to belly laugh every single day. Like I'm sure they do because they're already happy. Um, I think some people learn that like in pretty, pretty dark stages, like if they find a way to laugh, it makes life better. I think that's something that's like,
01:48:34
Speaker
If you're not doing that, I think you should find excuses to go be in a position to laugh more. It could be very privileged. No, it could be. It could be. No, because I think I've literally been to some of the poorest places in the world in Cuba, which is not privileged. And the families are
01:48:54
Speaker
And I'm so happy. They're laughing all the time. It's family around the table, and even if they have very small meals, they're laughing all the time. Same thing is true. If you go to some dark hood places, even then they're yapping, laughing. They're enjoying each other's company. I think it's the opposite of privilege.
01:49:15
Speaker
people who are able to recognize that even if it's a dark spot we can find, like the DeVos family, they don't laugh a lot. I know for a fact they don't laugh at all. When do you think it's the last time they've laughed at like a Thanksgiving dinner? I'm not willing to go there. Yeah, fair enough. I don't think that's fair. I don't think that's a fair comparison. I think you are bringing a really good example of
01:49:41
Speaker
private should include the DeVos family. I think that it's a really good point to say people can be happy in a bunch of different circumstances. Rebecca, we went to Cuba.
01:50:00
Speaker
We saw a bunch of happy people. It was awesome. It was amazing. It was dead set in the center of like literally the worst years of my entire life. And I don't remember most of those years. And I remember all seven of those days. And it was phenomenal. And it was, it was fun. It was, it was fun. And the people were happy. Yeah.
01:50:26
Speaker
But also, the people were very clear and honest about the struggles that their country went through and is still going through. And they weren't trying to hide. They weren't trying to hide the pain and the hurt and the bones of their country. And we saw a lot of those places and we went into like, there's this picture of me, like 17 years old, dancing with this old man in
01:50:55
Speaker
like an old dance house in some of the worst areas of Havana and like it's a great picture it's beautiful but also we sat through them telling us about their history first and the pain in these areas so it's like the idea that
01:51:15
Speaker
you should smile every day and your life will be better. I feel like it's very like- I'm not talking about smiling. No, it's Pollyanna. There's a huge jump from smiling because I think that's BS, but generally the laughter. And I think like-
01:51:29
Speaker
Laughter, smiling is fake, laughter's real. Like it's very hard to fake laugh, genuinely. And that's where like, I think we all can spend a little bit more time in environments that do actually make us laugh, not fake smile. Like, I totally, you're ashamed of that. That's fair. So back to our trip in Cuba, like in authentic laughter or authentic joy, like,
01:51:58
Speaker
the bus driver, the way that he interacted with us and curated the experience.
01:52:12
Speaker
What was it? Gave us mangoes or whatever it was. We had a bus driver who like the bus service that our school used in our trip was like a local bus tour service. So our bus driver didn't speak a word of English. He only spoke Spanish and we were like
01:52:32
Speaker
like kids in Spanish classes, but it was like Spanish classes on the west side of Michigan and this was like Cuban Spanish so they speak very quickly and they cut off like the ends of all their words. So we had no idea what any of them were saying at like at any point. Mostly, yeah. You sort of could understand a little bit. You could understand based on context clues.
01:52:58
Speaker
like a word of it really I was like they would like I want a refund and gesture and I'd be like okay I guess I know what you're saying and then I would respond with my like very not good spot they all thought that I was a native speaker though you constantly got approached nailed it because I was very tan
01:53:22
Speaker
Because you're a very dark brew. Is that cold brew, I think? No, she was... She had people walk up to her like... I just... We went to like a... We went to like... Like this crazy... It wasn't a festival, but it was like the market and we would walk up to these like stands at the market and they would start trying to sell to me like in Spanish, in very rapid Spanish. Oh, they're just haggling all the time, yeah. And I would be like,
01:53:53
Speaker
oblo es, oblo es es, ingles? And they'd be like, oh, this girl doesn't know anything. But I think that they also were halfway thinking, she's trying to con us. She's pretending she doesn't know, but we could see in her face, she knows. So one thing I want to be very clear, like I'm not,
01:54:20
Speaker
I, if I came across as like, just smile more and life's better, like totally disagree with that. Like mainly, like to me, even even- I don't think that's what you were saying.
Humor, Joy, and Social Media Musings
01:54:29
Speaker
Yeah. Even like the, um, faith side, like I've been in a bad spot. I'm like, if I just listened to a sermon about joy, I'm going to be in a better spot. A hundred percent. No. Some days it's been so bad. If I just listened to like 20 minutes of standup, that doesn't make me think about anything other than that's funny. That might just kind of be the juice. Like,
01:54:49
Speaker
It's truly tailored around the concept of laughing, not fake, not joy, not like this bullshit of like, well, if you just have a positive attitude, thanks fucking Joel Osteen, like really appreciate that. It's not, it has nothing to do with that. It's more so tailored around like,
01:55:06
Speaker
I think that, and again, this comes back to faith, I think Jesus spent way more time laughing than he did preaching. Truth be told, I think that's like a real characteristic about the life that he's, the creator that he is, I think that's part of it. But that's maybe my own spin on it, but. I feel like if that's the case, you should have a solid minute that you're willing to share with us.
01:55:36
Speaker
I feel like something about, if you really believe that, if Jesus is your savior, and you believe that, you should have. If you think I come that easy, you are not. Oh, no, I'm not. About the Santa, just. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe just make me laugh for a minute.
01:56:05
Speaker
I know if you think you... Deep breath. At some point, if you want to make this... I've had both of you so mad at me already on this. If you want to make this a part of your life... I have to right now. You better act, no, no.
01:56:26
Speaker
You better start to make it real. I get it. Have you even started? No, he hasn't. He just talks about it and texts about it.
01:56:42
Speaker
I'm awesome, all right. He's in his dreaming phase. Let him get into his planning phase. I was trying to give him an opportunity to practice. Next question. That's so annoying. So how many Instagram models have you dated? And how many of them weren't really dates? What's that really fucking famous one?
01:57:10
Speaker
No. Nope. Nope. Nope. We're not sharing it. We're not sharing it. Well, we might be done then. This was like, we're not, we're not sharing a handle. This was another hour. Oh no, I'm happy to talk about the models. We're just not sharing the ad.
Conclusion and Reflections
01:57:28
Speaker
No, no, we can't do that. I'll be honest with you. Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike at a PR call, Mike at a they, them,
01:57:37
Speaker
Him, her, sort of call. You seem like the kind of guy that might be... Into the ends or her hands? A little bit. Maybe. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter whether it's a he, her, or a she, him, or a they, them, or a... Come on, one more. Bring it. Come on, fire. Fire. Did they them?
01:58:01
Speaker
All right, so the original question was how many Instagram models have I dated but then the follow-up question was how many were actual dates Okay, so you know zero you define actual dates are and then I will backtrack the answer No, no, no, that's boring Zero zero I have met and how many followers are an Instagram follower or an Instagram model I
01:58:26
Speaker
If you are an Instagram model, how many followers? No, if you are an Instagram model it means that you are not doing anything else and you live your entire life off of modeling on Instagram.
01:58:38
Speaker
Five total in the pool, three that I have dated and met families, if that counts. Zero, zero. Wait, okay, so. Zero, zero. So for two of them you have neither dated nor met families. Yeah, yeah, it was like a fun thing. But all of the three that you dated, you also met their families. I'm like a fun guy, I kind of grow on people. That's insane. Yeah, yeah. Did you get that though? Right there, what he did.
01:59:07
Speaker
I'm a fun guy, I kind of grow on people. Well, yeah, but it's like a bad joke, so you don't laugh. It's a bad, it's a terrible joke. It's a terrible joke. But it's like good advertisement, and Lisa has you talking. Ugh, such a bad joke. It's definitely the way we should be done.
01:59:27
Speaker
Like, this is... If you're doing fungus jokes... I thought it was a good joke. I thought... It's the same caliber of... It's not a good joke. It's the same caliber of joke I touched off in minute one that I am in it. Well, yeah. Two hours. But it was a bad joke if you just want to... I wasn't saying it was good. I'm just saying it's the same caliber. My caliber hasn't gone down.
01:59:50
Speaker
I'm still fired. Okay, so it's still a Matt Baxter story. Oh my gosh. Remember when we were like, I don't think you're a narcissist. I take it back. You asked for facts, I gave you facts. Now I'm a narcissist. That's how that works, by the way. This is why I don't open up much. This is why when your lovely wife is like, so what kind of truce do you want? I'm like, well, I don't really want to share that many because I look like a douchebag. Oh my God.
02:00:21
Speaker
an appearance it's a reality I am douchebag live in the moment breathe in breathe out yeah this is a this is not a winner let's call it okay
02:00:50
Speaker
Oh, you're just gonna walk away? Yep. Alright. We should keep it real. I mean, it's not my podcast. 50% of it is. Alright, I'll close it out. Do you have anything else you'd like to say? No, I think... To the people out there? I think, uh... I think that's about it. I think we've... I think hit on everything.
02:01:14
Speaker
I think it's the first episode you guys are like, that's not good. But it still will be released. So we just have to deal with that. A few things that might have edited out. Oh yeah. You didn't like that episode? Maybe you won't hear all of it, but you'll definitely hear some of it. All right. We'll see you next time on the shallow end. I love you. Bye. Goodbye.