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Savage Worlds - The Phony Express 1.1: Osrom, I Barely Know 'Em
263 Plays2 years ago
Today, we welcome you back to Savage Worlds! The year is 1901 and we find our new gang of "heroes" in Doodad Montana, working for the Phony Express. It's a delivery company that is enlisted to places that no other delivery service will go (sound familiar?) .
Their first new member is Cutter, an ol' fashioned cowboy who has a checkered past and a different name. There is also Ryn, a demi-android humanoid who just wants her brothel to be successful. Lastly, we have Osrom. He's a humanoid that was born in the water. He's scaly, wields battle axes and has a penchant for being greedy.
Their first delivery sends them to take down the Pussyfoot Gang at Lameduck Pond and to deliver flags to their corpses. Why though? Let's find out!
@rollplayerswin @borschmeiser @freeactioncry @smoses_senpai
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Role Players' and Savage Worlds
00:00:24
Speaker
Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, non-binaries of all universes known and unknown. This is Role Players. Welcome back to Savage Worlds, a game that none of us have played in a really long time. So we'll just be relearning it with you. So if you've never played before, this might be a good place to start and relearn how to play the game. So before we get into what the world's going to look like, all you need to know is we're going to be in the wild west, or at least some semblance of it.
Character Introductions: Osprom, Cutter O'Toole, and Rin
00:00:50
Speaker
Before we get into that, let's introduce our characters and our players, starting with our returning favorite German who comes on the show, Adrian. Hi, buddy. Hi, I'm Adrian. And I play a character called Osprom, and he's a scaly dude from Dickey Lake. I used to live underwater.
00:01:12
Speaker
His neighbors didn't like him very much, so he went above water, but people didn't like him there either. So now he's just trying to survive and make money. So you're a scaly dude, and also you will battle Axes apparently. I am the Hatchet Man. Good. Well, that's good. All right, let's move on to returning back to the show, regular cast member, Justin. Hi.
00:01:42
Speaker
I'm going to be playing a fella named Cutter O'Toole. He's a feller and such, wears a hat, some old blue jeans, a faded gray shirt. You know, he's not nothing special. Normally he's a clean-shaven fella, but he's recently come under some trouble with the law of light. So he's got his little facial hair drawn out so he can look a little different than he used to. And that's about that. Excellent.
00:02:13
Speaker
And then finally, on the show for the very first time, we've got
Cass's Role and 'Free Action Cry' Involvement
00:02:17
Speaker
Cass. Hi Cass, how are ya? Well, my character, she's named Rin, and she is a robot, android, humanoid kind of character. She's got a robotic arm that she helps steady her sharpshooter-ness.
00:02:40
Speaker
She, she was created so that, uh, she can go do things. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's Rin. She, she's fun too. Yeah. I can't wait to hear what Rin's like, but, uh, also you're on other things and I know you'll be with us for some time on the season, but I still want our listeners to know what else you're in. Cause so you can feel free to go and do a little plug if you like. Well, I'm also in free action cry.
00:03:08
Speaker
I play Kakai and she's kind of a badass little cleric over there. She's fun. Yeah, so go root for Kakai. Yeah. Free action Kakai.
Mission Briefing in Doo Dad, Montana
00:03:31
Speaker
Okay, so we have a scaly dude we have an Android gal and we have a criminal of the law and
00:03:41
Speaker
I guess a scaly guy is also one which we'll get into shortly but well so the town that we're in is called well actually I I only had the placeholder name is doo dad because I couldn't think of a name anybody wants a better name for this place yeah doo dad's what I called it's the state that depends on what
00:04:14
Speaker
That's just me trying to repeat what you said. So you guys are in doodad montana subject to change maybe the mayor or the whatever will change so you guys are in doodad montana it's like northwestern montana about 200 miles away from the canadian border
00:04:33
Speaker
It's Doo Dad Montana. Doo Dad Montana.
00:04:37
Speaker
Um, not far off from there is a place called Dickey Lake, which is where our friend Ostrum is from. Uh, but that's a real place in Montana. I looked it up. Um, so we got Dickey Lake, uh, famous talk show woman, uh, from the nineties and, um, she, um,
00:05:03
Speaker
You guys are currently in doodad montana and you're at like the headquarters of. What's known as the phony express the phony express for those you have i guess only nobody else would know is essentially a package delivery company that goes places where nobody else wants to go delivery service in the show before.
00:05:27
Speaker
Yeah. So you guys are essentially, I always like to think like Futurama, but in cowboy times, you know, you get sent on very dangerous, very exotic deliveries that typically nobody would even dream to send the United States Postal Service to do. And you guys are contracted by someone of the Phony Express.
Meet Mutton Chop Joe and the Mission Details
00:05:47
Speaker
So I wanted to explore that. What do you guys think this who is the person that runs the Phony Express that gives you guys your dollars every time you do your job? Martin Jobs.
00:05:57
Speaker
Martin Chops' name? I mean, he has Martin Chops. He's Martin Chops Joe. Yes. Balled on top of his head. All right. Martin Chops Joe. Half moon glasses. And he's bald. Black vest. He has a straight white shirt. Basically, he looks like an old-timey gambling guy or a blackjack dealer. Huge Martin Chops. Huge Martin Chops. Cassie, what else about Martin Chops? What else about Joe should we know?
00:06:27
Speaker
He has a weird tattoo on the back of his head that nobody can really tell what it is, but it's kind of sinister. You don't really want to ask him about it because you never know if he's trying to be like, if I had to tell you, I'll kill you. Okay. What's his demeanor? Is he friendly? Is he mean? Is he eccentric? How does he typically talk to you guys? Yeah, Adrian, how does he talk to us? I think he would be different to us because he doesn't really care.
00:06:58
Speaker
Okay, so he's very he's very much like the neutral people of Futurama Like all I know is my gut says maybe Okay, all right cool, so you guys are at them at the mutton shop Joe's office let's just say it's in this little
00:07:19
Speaker
This little, I wouldn't call it a little, it's probably like two general stores worth of size, which I guess is pretty big for an old western town. The year is 1901, by the way, and it's probably early morning and you guys are standing there.
00:07:37
Speaker
Yeah, Mutt and Chop Joe. It's a turn of the century. Mutt and Chop Joe just got his, or MCJ as we call him. MCJ got his shop set up. He's been building clients over the past few weeks. You guys have been waiting for your first job. Now, before you guys go approach Mutt and Chop Joe, what do you think that you would have been doing? Where do you guys stay? I stay in water.
00:08:03
Speaker
The wound. The wound. Because I'm wanted by the law. Where does Rin stay? I'm going to stay at my brothel. Okay. Can I change my answer? I run it, you guys. And then I leave a friend of mine in charge of, you know, a thing, you know, so I just hang out. Okay.
00:08:33
Speaker
what's the name of that what's the name of the brothel matching carpets
00:08:48
Speaker
matching carpets. I love that. That's where Rin hangs out. Excellent. Okay, cool. Matching carpets. Very good. Okay.
00:09:04
Speaker
Asram, Asram, is there anywhere else that you hang out to get your water fix since you're far away from home? Or do you ride all the way back to Dickey Lake to sleep? I do not ride there all the time. I do try to go to bath houses or to any other natural places, or even in my dire circumstances.
00:09:29
Speaker
like private water pools and like tank systems, like anything that has like water in it. Gotcha. Okay.
The 'Freaks' and 'Lawbreakers' Accept the Mission
00:09:38
Speaker
Um, so you guys have been brought in because you guys are essentially freaks or lawbreakers. And, uh, Mr. Uh, Mr. Joe, I don't know his last name.
00:09:52
Speaker
Mr. Joe needs people to do these dangerous jobs and most sane people don't want to do them. And so he strikes a deal to get criminals and freaks who can't get work anywhere else to do his bidding for him.
00:10:11
Speaker
Um, and so that's how you guys ended up getting your jobs. We can explore that later, but essentially, you know, aside from the brothel, um, that, that Ren runs, you know, like he was like, well, Hey, you know, typically I need someone who can, who I can rely on. So he has written along for the ride. Um, so.
00:10:30
Speaker
Let's go to, uh, let's go to the scene where you guys are in the office with Mr. Mr. Joe, Mr. Mr. Uh, Montchob Joe. I'm just not used to saying it out loud yet. So you see, you see Mr. Joe, he's at his desk. He's got his feet up on the desk. You know, he's kind of like just twiddling his thumbs. He's rotating his thumbs forward. And after a while he, he, he lets out like a long breath and then sucks a lot of air in again. And it starts twiddling his thumbs the other direction. And then like, he sees you guys come in and he goes,
00:10:59
Speaker
Um, hey, uh, hey, uh, what's your, uh, who y'all again? It's cutter and Oz and I don't know who this, this lady is. Yeah. Uh, and he starts rubbing the bald spot on his head real hard and he's like, yeah, you're like, um, uh, you don't want the whore house.
00:11:28
Speaker
Chops we've been here before we I was expecting to be out of this town a week ago He told me you got a week to get clients. I'm ready to leave. I'm fixing to leave now. I mean all I need to get out of town Yeah, I know I have a job. I'm just trying to remember who y'all is. Um He points to Cassie. Are you the one that lives in the water? Who? Who's I'm sorry Ren points to Ren Ren are you the one at the whorehouse or in the water? I'm at the whorehouse. Oh I was too
00:12:02
Speaker
You bring everybody how so like are you bringing in a lot of revenue over there or I'm just curious You know, I wish I did but everybody seems to not have any money right now So they're like, well put it on my tab But they never pay it's really annoying Oh
00:12:26
Speaker
Yeah, sounds like a bummer. Sorry, sorry about that. I mean, we're doing we're doing great here. So it's good that you're employed with us,
Mission Logistics: Payment and Documentation
00:12:34
Speaker
huh? Yeah, I mean, that's why I had to find a second job. Yeah, I mean, I like me a working girl. So good. Good.
00:12:43
Speaker
Yeah, just good. Anyway, I'm sorry, Cutter. You want to get out of the town? You can't now. You work for us. I would like to go on a job. I'm in need of money, you see, and I would like to just get going and be on my way to where we're going. Well, judging by that pistol on your hip there, looks like you found money at some point, right? Well, yes. Everybody has found money at some point in their lives, but sometimes they need more, want to count on an egg on no job.
00:13:12
Speaker
And that's on account of what I got going on. I kind of need all of them. Right. Well, all right. Listen, I know this is your first job. Let's just go over something real quick. All right. I mean, I hate talking about it. Um, but like, it's kind of part of the contract, but y'all know if you turn into deserters, that the decapitators are going to come and hunt you down. Right. Well, you know, about the cat is too.
00:13:40
Speaker
Uh, Cutter, you want to take this one? You want to tell them what the decapitators do? Or... Um... Pass. Do they bake us a tasty cake or what? Yeah, Ren, you want to take this one? What would you think the decapitators do? Would probably take off my head in an instant. And make cake out of it.
00:14:07
Speaker
Uh, maybe, maybe if my old mother Hubbard's stores open, perhaps, but they're very advanced. They're very good at their job. They're very good hunters that hunt down their dwells and deserters. And we have a contract with them. They make a lot of money to go on watch and take down people who run away from the work.
00:14:27
Speaker
Now I'm not the one that sends them. I just have to let them know. I mean, I guess I am, but I don't, I'm kind of indifferent if you can't tell. So like, you know, I just have to let them know. They send like a carrier pigeon or whatever. Usually they're Ravens actually. And they just come with like a note and it's like, Hey, we got a job and I just have to check yes or no. And then they fly away. So, you know.
00:14:53
Speaker
Just keep your eyes on the skies. If you see the ravens, they're probably following you, you know? So, uh, just so you guys know what's going on. But anyway, I got a job for you. You excited, Cutter? Yes. I'm also...
00:15:09
Speaker
interested for you to do something. So listen, you guys got to deliver this, this box here and he pulls out like a wooden crate that's got like a bunch of like, little rod sticking out of it like a little cracks of the wood that have like little green pieces of like fabric hanging off of them. He says, Look, I need you to deliver to deliver this box of green little flags here to lame duck pond not far from here, probably about I don't know, maybe a half a day's ride.
00:15:36
Speaker
And I need you to go and deliver these green flags to them. If they're home, I need you to put the flags in the corpses. Right? And if they ain't corpses already, I need you to make them into corpses. All right? Who to ducks. Oh, sorry. The, the, the, the people who live there. Um, hang on. He checks his notes. Um, the pussy foot gang. You guys heard of them? Oh, you, oh, you have Ren.
00:16:06
Speaker
Just rumors. Well, what have you what have you heard? They are really mischievous and then mean. That's all I've heard. Mean Chibi. Yeah, mischievous. Wow, that's a that's a two dollar word. I know. Oh.
00:16:30
Speaker
Yeah, they keep pussyfooting around places and people don't like it. So, um, the question is, and I woke up to his tail so I can like bury look over it. What do we get money from this job?
00:16:47
Speaker
Oh yeah, you're a short guy, huh? Probably like what, four feet? What do you get for the job? Y'all make about, if you use the company camera, which is in your wagon, and take a picture to prove that you delivered the goods at the right place, you get $24, you can split between the three of you. Which, I mean, that's a little less than a whorehouse money, but I mean, it's still not bad for a day's pay. I'll take it.
00:17:17
Speaker
Yeah, that's a lot. So at least $10 a piece. It's somewhere. I don't, I don't have my mathematician with me right now to go over that, but my accountant will show up eventually. Um, but yeah, it'll be $24 for the group of you. And then, uh, you know, and do whatever you want with it. I don't care how you live your life as long as you just don't abandon your post. So, um, can you, can we get another extra for me? No.
00:17:45
Speaker
That's just a note. We've already talked about this. You're under my thumb there, son. You're trying to haggle with me already on your first job? Yes. I've had Osram. No, we're not. We don't know if we're going to be haggling, Osram. We ain't going to ruin being haggling. I'm just curious, are you able to mail the checks to the town there after we're done? Or pay big? You're just going to get paper money, man. Is there an office out that way? We can just go to and turn it in?
00:18:11
Speaker
No, you gotta, you gotta bring the picture back here to show me that you finished the work. Fine, fine, fine. Now what do you think this is? Are they just gonna let you telegraph it to me? I hope something of that nature. What's that, Ren? The camera will be camera kind of big to carry, right? Yeah, it'll be in, it'll be in the wagon. Y'all can set it up after you do your job and just snap a picture. Okay, just making sure we have transportation.
00:18:41
Speaker
Oh yeah, y'all have a wagon. You got a trusty steed. I don't remember what its name was, but I mean, it'll do the thing it's supposed to do,
Character Dynamics and Humor Emerge
00:18:51
Speaker
which is pull a wagon. That's what horses is born for, right? I'm going to name him Bitey. Bitey? What if he doesn't bite? I don't care. His name's Bitey.
00:19:08
Speaker
Alright, write that down. Horse name is Bitey. Because you never know. You know, horse do have them big teeth. You never know. They're flat, but they hurt. They do hurt. I've seen a fellow get his whole hand bit off once. Yeah. Well, that's good for you. Was it from a horse or was it from a crocodile or a coyote or something? Well, I've seen a coyote do it too, but I've seen a horse do it.
00:19:31
Speaker
Oh man, I hope body don't do that danger. I don't care. Why'd you leave a body now? I'm nervous. Well, he might be the name. He might lick you instead. You never know. Be careful. It's bitey. He might be licky. You never know. Hey, if you don't have one of the, if you don't have one of the girls at the, at the brothel named licky yet, you should. I'm working on that.
00:20:01
Speaker
I only have sucky and back. Hey, you know what? Maybe I'll, maybe I'll, uh, take a trip to COC sucky. You know what? It's already, it's already like 90. Yeah. It's already like 9 AM. That's a long ways to walk.
00:20:24
Speaker
Maybe, I don't know. Anyways, look, yeah, just go plant the flags inside the bodies and if the bodies ain't dead, I need you to make them dead, okay? That's what the client wants. No questions asked. Just go plant the flags in the bodies, take a picture, come on home. All right.
00:20:45
Speaker
Any questions? And he like kind of peers down. He kind of gives a little bit of a, of a, of an awkward look to awesome. He's like, look, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier, but I just can't pay you any more than what you're already getting paid. You're already getting paid the elite package. Really guys.
00:21:03
Speaker
Yeah, look, I did a little bit of like work shopping because it's hard to keep people alive around here. So I thought if you knew you was getting $8, hey, listen, the group before you, those poor sons of, well, nevermind. Just the group before you just, they only were getting paid like $3 per mission. So, or per delivery. So you're making a pretty decent amount in hopes that maybe it'll inspire you to, you know, not die. Yeah.
00:21:31
Speaker
So just remember those greenbacks and you'll be, you'll be good as gold. I, if you'll find, if y'all find gold, I mean, I mean, it'd be nice to have actually, but I mean, what, yeah, I mean, if you find it, if you want to bring it. But to be honest with you, I don't think I would share it with you anyways. Well, I appreciate your, I appreciate your honesty and I'll make a note of that for when I don't want to share things with you. Yeah. Give me that little box and let's, let's get on stepping out of here. All right. Let's go.
00:22:01
Speaker
All right, here's your box and yeah, your horse is parked in the garage.
Journey Begins: Horse Details and Planning
00:22:11
Speaker
It's one of those $2 words.
00:22:18
Speaker
This is so expensive right now guys, we can't take the horse fuck it You know, hey ain't cheap you gotta keep You know how much it cost to get carrots to keep that thing moving?
00:22:37
Speaker
It's a fucking rip. If I weren't someone different, I would talk to someone about it. But it's a lot of effort. All right. Thank you, Chop. All right. I'm sorry, is that my name? I forgot. Well, I ain't even telling you what, Chop. That's too old. You know, I was born with a name, but actually, you know what? I don't care. You can call me whatever. Just go on and get it.
00:23:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Go on, go on and get, I mean, or stay. It's fine. I'm going to take a nap by the way. What are you leaving? Oh my goodness, man. Make my head go around a circle. Let's just get out of here. I'm so getting a shirt you called Mutt and Chop Joe. Mutt and Chop's on the shirt.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's got like a little reflective surface, so if somebody looks into your shirt, it shows them with mutton chops. Yes! Look into my belly and get mutton chops. Look at us doing chicken merch already. There we go. All right, so you guys head out of the Phony Express? Yep. Heading out. Where are you headed? You're going to want to do the garage? I mean, the barn? The delivery garage. It's a staple garage.
00:23:52
Speaker
All right, the Phoney Express has their garage slash barn right across the street, the main street, which is known as main doodad street. And yeah, there's a little barn over there. Again, it's sizable. It could probably fit a couple of extra horses, but there's only the one with a buggy also in there. Oh, well, I mean, if you didn't park them in there, then he ain't in there. He's parked outside there. Park him in there. I parked him outside, all right. Okay. Come on, butternut. Butternut and buddy.
00:24:23
Speaker
Mean if he has a horse that did you buy a horse with your money that you started with? Did you? If you you or you get a horse and buggy So so did cutter by his own horse he sure damn did and
00:24:49
Speaker
Alright, well Cutter has a horse. Then I'll just ride with you. So you have a horse and a buggy, and a horse and buggy. No, you have a horse and a horse and buggy. Horse and horse and buggy.
Travel Conversations: Personalities Unveiled
00:25:00
Speaker
Either you ever drive one of these suckers before? Did they say suckers back then? I do. Suckers. I can't say, we said suckers. We're all in it. We are friendly in quite a times before. Either you guys know how to drive one of these doodads? Yeah.
00:25:20
Speaker
I'm sure I can figure it out pretty easily. Bunch of times. You see, you see, Ren, you hear like a yell from down the street. You see Sucky pokes her head out of the brothel. And she's like, do you not need me to ride for you? I can drive it if you want. No, you have to stay and take care of the place. You stay here and suck.
00:25:49
Speaker
Literally. You have one job. I don't know why my parents gave me this name and cursed me to a life of servitude. It's like girls that get named Diamond, you know that they're automatically destined to be a stripper.
00:26:17
Speaker
Destiny. Well, your destiny is. Portia. Wiener rider. Sorry, I was just reading a list of potential applicants. How did you get into my files?
00:26:44
Speaker
And she just sleeps back in the door. I gotta talk to weiner rider. It's like Winona rider, but weiner rider. Well, weiner rider versus Winona. Okay. This is the best idea ever. All right. Get up on the box there, that coach and you guys drive us or whatever it is, you know, stage coach.
00:27:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's just like a little one of those buggies that has like the kind of tent over top of it that kind of hides like obscure some of You know what you have because they try to keep their deliveries private. So the blocks back in there are flags
00:27:35
Speaker
Um, and so, uh, so you guys had a book. How to drive a stage coach. It's in the glove box. Get a stage coach. We are on top of this guys. You can do it. Do either of you have a riding or a driving skill, like, uh, Ren or awesome. That's why I asked for a riding skill.
00:28:05
Speaker
You have a writing skill? Do you have a writing skill? No.
00:28:11
Speaker
I mean you both can roll to see if you if you can kind of get the hang of it gospel Do you want to roll for a for a for a riding skill to see if you can? You rolled a 23 plus 8 plus 7 you have a 8 in riding. Yes You put the hatched man like you had
00:28:38
Speaker
I mean, he's like a scaly boy from the lakes. I even went ahead. From Dickie Lake. Don't forget it. Oh, man. Ridd needs to set up her brothel on Dickie Lake and probably get more. I really think I would.
00:28:57
Speaker
I need more clients. I have money. Yeah, for reals. Put it on the dam. Okay, so, yeah, put it on my dam. So, you guys both sitting up in the front. Ren, are you sitting in the back since Ostrom has to drive or are you sitting up front with him? I'll sit in the back and take a nap with the camera.
00:29:23
Speaker
All right, nice. Yeah, it's a big it's a big boy. Half the half the storage space back there is this fucking big ass box camera and all the tripods and shit that you have to set up and the bulbs. There's like a box of bulbs that you have to use to replace every time you take a picture of that giant cone. You got to put up everything. Yeah, it takes like 25 minutes to set up. We're going to get them all together.
00:29:48
Speaker
Yeah, he's definitely gonna get them all together. How to like turn this camera and because she's got like this thing on her hat to where it's kind of like almost like a scope so she's gonna like try to figure out how she can kind of tinker with this to like put it on somewhere on her hat so they don't have to like move all of this equipment around but she's not gonna fuck with it too bad.
Rin's Technological Upgrade for Camera Mobility
00:30:16
Speaker
You're trying to figure out how to make it more mobile by like having it, like, have it work from your brain on you. Yeah. There's a big ass fucking box that you don't like mounted on your back. Yeah. Like take the lens and just kind of like disassemble it and like MacGyver it to where like it like takes a picture and then pops out like my chest or something. That'd be hilarious. Hey, you know what? You know what? Why don't we, why don't we have you do a repair role?
00:30:46
Speaker
A repair or, uh, some sort of, yeah, repairs usually what we use for like tinkering with shit. Um, come out of your mouth.
00:30:55
Speaker
Uh, she rolled a four on her wild die, which is a standard success. Um, for those of you listening, fours are usually good or multiples of fours are good. Um, so you roll the four, a basic four. So yeah, I would say that maybe you don't get it all done right now, but like, as you're tinkering with it and effing around with it, you realize like, well, Hey, maybe like some of this would work with kind of what I got going on. So I think that.
00:31:17
Speaker
The more you keep checking back with it, like every six, we'll just say every so many subsequent successes you have with like tinkering with this, you're going to get closer to learning how to do it. Cool.
00:31:27
Speaker
So you're now one step closer to making this a more mobile thing. All right. Yeah. So she's already making like mobile cameras. Nice. Yeah. Nice. The future is going to change big time. Big time. Super fast. You're going to be taking selfies like by 1950. Okay. So you're thinking with that, you're learning how to turn it into a mobile camera.
00:31:55
Speaker
and you guys are on your way. Cutter, why don't you tell us about your butter cut? What'd you call her? Butter nut? Butter stuff? What was it? Butter nut. Butter nut? Yeah. Tell us about butter nut. She's got a light coat. She likes... Oh, is she cold?
00:32:12
Speaker
Yeah, like a light hand coat, buckskin if you want to get technical. Brown mane, brown tail. Is she like a prized horse? Did you get her for a deal? No, she's pretty regular. She's just a regular horse. A good running horse, not like nothing too crazy. Are you going to be riding ahead since you're a little bit more mobile than the rest? I'm going to ride along for now alongside.
00:32:42
Speaker
Okay. Well, uh, you'll have a little bit of a trip to get there.
Discussion on Violence and Morality
00:32:45
Speaker
So if you guys would like to have any sort of conversation or shout from your horse, uh, if you want to have any sort of interaction, I can just talk normal to volumes. All right. You're normal to volumes.
00:32:59
Speaker
I would like to discuss the following. Oz, what do you think? I don't really like the idea of going up there and just shooting up some, even if it is a gang, I don't really like the idea of just going up there and shooting up some folks from nowhere, no reason. Maybe you should really, we need to try on toughening you up.
00:33:22
Speaker
Well, if you want to survive out here, you've got to do some things that are maybe not so pretty. We got some history with us always, but I ain't never been called the opposite, whatever. Needn't even become more tough. Watch it, always. Watch it there, feller. I'm the toughest I know.
00:33:44
Speaker
I'm going to scare that I'm thin skinned. I wasn't a personal attack, but he's still kind of repeatedly there. I don't like constructive criticism. That's a surprise. Yeah, he's a very sensitive. It ain't nothing to do with toughness. All this is about just being decent, not going out and shooting somebody out in the back just because some
00:34:13
Speaker
guy with bunch of muttonchops told you to. I mean, if you find us another job, I'm down with that. But right now we are going to do this. I mean, we're going to get out there and poke around maybe bound. We're going to look around first before we start blowing holes in some random folk. All right. Well, I couldn't tell us about these people. So you can stay in the car. And if you have any problems, you can come out later.
00:34:42
Speaker
We'll see what we get there, I guess. We'll see what we get there. What's kind of your thing? I can see you have some mechanical parts. I like to shoot a lot. That sounds cool. I like to headshot people. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to teach me how to do that because that sounds like a heck of a lot of fun. I tell you what.
00:35:11
Speaker
But I like, I definitely like my gun. It's my favorite. I named her Betsy. She's pretty awesome. So yeah, that's my, that's my thing. I like to shoot. That's cool. And you're also not one of those humans. So I like you. Cool. I like you. I like you guys. You're an interesting group of people and I like interesting groups of people. So I think we're gonna get along just fine.
00:35:42
Speaker
That's great. I'm being underappreciated for so long, and it's nice to hear something nice once in a while. Absolutely.
Comedic Roadside Encounter
00:35:51
Speaker
As you guys are making your way down the street, heading up towards a lame duck pond, you see another guy on a horseback passing by, and he just tips his hat and goes, howdy. Howdy.
00:36:26
Speaker
I feel great, thank you for- I think he thought I said, how do you do? I said how to- He like rides back up and goes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be polite. I was saying I'm fine. Oh, it's quite a right fella. Actually, I just said, how do you do? How do you do? How do you do?
00:36:36
Speaker
Howdy. And he just keeps on going.
00:36:45
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. And, you know, and you can see he kind of has like a, he kind of has like, like a brass like cone sticking out of one of his ears. He says, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm not being good at hard to hear. How's it go? I speak towards us. It's all right. Old, old feller. It just, that's one of the things that happens on the road. You know, some of the common misunderstandings on the trail.
00:37:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I could go for the mail once I'm done with this long trip. Absolutely. Yeah. Why don't you go on and get back down there to town. They got some good ale, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Happy trails to you. You say waffles? Go on. Yep. That's what they got. Everybody loves waffles. Sorry, dang, my horse is turning around again. Pleasant trails to you.
00:37:29
Speaker
I'm not even gonna say anything to him. What? Here's the fucking wind. What'd you say?
00:37:41
Speaker
You see him, like, as he's driving away, he's like yelling at his horses, like, go straight, you ding dong. And then he takes a little brass cone out of his ear, then shoves one in the horse's ear, and he goes, go straight, you ding dong. What a couple. That man might not make it. Dang. Dang, never. So you guys ride for a couple hours. Again, you guys started your trip probably before noon, so you'll probably get there at least about a half a day's ride.
00:38:09
Speaker
So a few hours pass you're kind of moving along the Montana valleys or you know little nooks between the hills and you know what you guys start to pass. You guys start to pass like some other wagons that are driving to and fro like you know heading back back towards town. Some of them look like a little bit more they've worse for wear
00:38:31
Speaker
Um, you do see, um, you do see like one really nice stage coach, like it starts to drive past you. Um, there's a guy, you know, one of the people, the one of the gentlemen who's driving is in like a very nice, uh, like nice tails, uh, nice hat, uh, big, nice red bow tie, you know, kind of driving the stage coach. Um, and he, he doesn't, he doesn't look your way, but like, as you say, howdy, he doesn't even look at you. He just gonna just keeps going. He's very, very professional businessman.
00:39:01
Speaker
Heading in towards doo-dad a couple hours out after they pass I spit off son of Mars You still in town when you get back we should pay him a visit I Wouldn't like to he's not nice Probably is nice things
00:39:19
Speaker
I started doing a letter in my hands like, keep going, we're already on the knowledge as it is, keep it calm about the things that people have that we might like to have, right? You've got to do things to have things.
00:39:37
Speaker
Uh, so you guys, you guys come to, you guys come to, uh, to a, like a fork in the, in the, in the trails. Um, one leads up one lead straight, uh, the way that you're going. Um, which way do you want to go to continue your trek to, uh, the bank? Now you might chop this ain't nothing, but no fork in the road. No, it's quite convenient. Um,
00:40:01
Speaker
Anybody, anybody, anybody? Oh, is that fucking asshole with a fancy bow tie still a little further down? I could ride down in asking directions. Yeah, they're still down there. You just passed them. So I'm going to run. I'm going to. Oh, you, you guys hang out here. I'm going to ride back and ask that super friendly man, which a nice thing is where to go.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yeah, that was buddy He like starts like you hear that you hear that sounded like you know Just like on Dark Souls of like teeth snatching together with with the lizard
00:40:44
Speaker
He's so mouthy. Is he going to ride back? Moso mouthy. He's almost all teeth. He's like Steve Buscemi up there. Yes, or Gary Busey. Gary Busey.
00:41:00
Speaker
He's got like a fucking weird old eye and he probably says racist things in horse. All the time. All the time. He's so lame. This is humans, right? This horse is perfect for me.
00:41:17
Speaker
So you guys, yeah, he did pick the horse speech trait when he was making this
Stagecoach Tensions and Gunfight
00:41:25
Speaker
character. So you ride your horsey, you ride butternuts back down towards the stagecoach. You catch up pretty easily. They're not in any sort of hurry. They're just moving at a gradual pace that you do when you're just going down the trails. I give them a wave. I say, oh, hey, excuse me, excuse me there, folks. Sorry to bother you. Just keep going. Sir, sir, I need to ask some directions, please.
00:41:48
Speaker
We can keep on riding, sir. I look inside the carriage like we're sitting there like knocking the window. Excuse me, anybody in there, I need some directions.
00:41:59
Speaker
You see like this very, this very kind of pixie faced woman like kind of leans her head forward. Um, and she's got like curly blonde hair and like a little blue bonnet on, uh, and it really, from what you can tell anyway, uh, like kind of like a really big floofy dress. And she says, um, could you kindly not touch my window, please? Uh, yes, by all means, as long as anybody could tell me where the heck to find the name duck pond. Well, go ask the driver you swine.
00:42:30
Speaker
Well, I've been trying, but he ain't responding to my speaking to him. Well, perhaps he doesn't wish to speak to you and you should look elsewhere for your information, sir.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah. Turn away. Did you just scoff at me, you ruffian? I'm already turning away around, though. It's not a horse, my horse makes it. Yeah, like as you're trotting away, she leans out the window and she says, that's right, you ugly brute. Don't come near my car again. And she like shoves her head back in the window. Brynn's just going to reach her head out. Rude!
00:43:21
Speaker
You see the driver out in the distance as they drive away, just like flip the bird, like with his left hand, like off the side of the car. We're going to do the same thing with her, her Android robot arm. Just yeah, back to you fucking buddy.
00:43:39
Speaker
You just hear like a. As the cart stops and like you hear you hear just like now you just hold on one minute and then use as like as cutters coming back like you guys are sitting there in your cart. You can see it. Another man what looks like what looks like some kind of rifle in his hands. Also, I shut mine out of my my saddle scaver.
00:44:07
Speaker
I don't hate it, but I got it ready. He comes out and he says, now I demand that you come and you apologize to the missus right now. Rin's just gonna take out her gun and start patting it with her robot hand. I don't think I need to really apologize for anything, actually. Oh, you're some type of... Oh, I don't even know. Some sort of freak of some sort.
00:44:36
Speaker
Yep, sure am. Keep it coming, buddy. How much distance is there between us? Well, he's back by the stagecoach that was going away from you guys. So he's probably maybe, I don't know, probably like 60 yards out and he's like shouting over to Cutter who's like, he's like seeing the shininess of Ren's arm and she's like leaning out the back of the wagon. Talking a lot of shit for somebody within shooting range.
00:45:06
Speaker
I demand that you apologize. I'm sorry, what was that to the freak? You're gonna taste a bullet in a minute if you don't shut your mouth and go the fuck away. I never heard such awful speak from actually that's not true. Anyone in his whole entire state has been nothing but foolish and uncleanly and just gross.
00:45:34
Speaker
Well, you don't have to stay here. Yeah, why don't you get on going? Well, you stopped us, you ruffian. I'm pretty sure you're the one who hit the brakes there, buddy. So if you don't want to, you know, feel Betsy, you can just keep on going. Well, I would very much like to feel, that's the wrong person. I would very much like to feel Betsy, but she is back at Doo Dad.
00:46:06
Speaker
I am very much looking forward to it, but that's none of your business. How about you get going, otherwise we'll get ugly, because I don't have time for you. What sort of crazy outfit is this anyway, you little munchkin hooded failure? She just pulls out her gun and just shoots it towards the sky, and I've had enough of this guy.
00:46:32
Speaker
He like ducks, he like ducks and goes and runs behind the stagecoach. And you like, you hear like, in like Cox's gun. He's like, now this doesn't have to, this doesn't have to get violent. It don't. Well, you started it. What do you say you guys just apologize to the missus and then we'll be on our way. How about she apologize to us first? She was the first one being rude. You stopped our cart.
00:47:00
Speaker
We stopped your cot yourself. You fathered our cot. All right, guys, I'm now for this guy. He's obviously not going to do anything. So let's just keep going because this guy's annoying me. We have work to do. I was just saying that I just keep on riding in the other direction.
00:47:25
Speaker
Okay, just taking the wagon away. What were you going to do, Cutter? Well, not now. I was going to try and use intimidation, but now my path, my intimidation is walking away. You ain't worked time, fella. Get on your little wagon and roll out of here. He points the gun at you as you go to turn away. He says, yes, well, that's right. You better run. Otherwise, you'll get all of the police. You don't know who you're dealing with.
00:47:54
Speaker
Ren just flips it off again. Who you calling the LA you son of a bitch?
00:48:01
Speaker
Well, I can't tell in this light because it's very bright on my eyeballs, but I would say that you are very grotesque. Look at that beard. Gross. What do you... Looks like you shaved it from your bottom and put it on your face. Alright, I'll let you give me a negative, but I had my rifle over my lap and I'm just gonna pull it up and just shoot at him.
00:48:26
Speaker
You're going to shoot at him? Would you like me to... How about I roll like a spear to see if my thin-skinnedness is letting me get... I mean, you could do whatever you want. Yeah, I'm going to shoot at him. So what's the range on your... What are you using? My carbine. It's 20-40-80.
00:48:50
Speaker
20, 40, 80. Okay. Yeah. Well, it'll, it would be your mid range. So that would be a minus two to the shot. Um, because he's definitely not within 20, 20 feet of you is 20 feet or yards. I forget what they have it in 20. Wow. We definitely not. We definitely not within 20 eats of him. I'm going to eat a bullet over your white feller.
00:49:14
Speaker
So it's going to be a minus two to the shot. You need a four to hit. I'm a yeet shooter. Let me see if I can do a minus two. You should yeet. Yeet. Oh, thank god for that wild eye. Well, you scored pretty big on your wild eye. Well, you aced twice. That's why. Jesus Christ.
00:49:34
Speaker
Yeah, so go ahead and roll damage on that plus. That's an extra bonus die because it's well more than what you need to hit him I don't know how it works with shooting Yeah, it's a bonus d6 for acing on your there's my main damage 10. He's fucked plus plus 5. That's 15 get fuck It already rolled it already rolled the bonus damage
00:49:55
Speaker
So that's that's that's a 15. So, yeah, that's way more than what his toughness is. He's wearing a fucking nice, like a suit. He's not particularly ready. Yeah, he just like you just shoot a hole. His toughness is probably like fucking like five. So like he's like a shot through and he just goes, my what? And then just like drops over like a pile of blood. I was holding up the cart.
00:50:23
Speaker
I'll just go over and put a green flag on him. You see the wagon just like the driver up front, you just hear, go, go. And then the stagecoach starts peering away.
00:50:52
Speaker
Okay, yeah, he's probably using like a standard carbine like standard like
00:51:02
Speaker
What kind of rifle would that be? Like the old-timey common rifle that they would use? My carbine's like, I think it's the most generic one. It's 52 caliber. Yeah, it's probably something like that. It's probably like a standard carbine. Nice. How much bullets are going on his body? I don't know. Roll a D12 and we'll see how much he has. That's at least some 12-year-old cartridge. You find a bolt? Yeah, he just...
00:51:27
Speaker
Yeah, well there's, yeah, just a full box. He had one in the chamber and 12, you know, in a little, in his pocket for some reason. What a fool, we didn't even load his gun the whole way.
00:51:37
Speaker
Yeah, damn, he fired his blank. Um, yeah, so he's just laying there in a pile of blood. He's in, like, a nice suit. Uh... Hey, y'all, if you want to help me roll this fella into, like, a ditch or something, at least get him... sort of, maybe, treat him a little right. He's a dick, but at least he got... He was a... not a dick. What would they say back then? He was a... a bit of a... a bit of a curmudgeon, but... at least respect the dead, I suppose. He sure was a rooster.
00:52:04
Speaker
Let's just continue riding. I start, I just like sort of kick him with my shoe, like roll his body over down like the little slope of the road. Okay, he's kind of like falls down into a ditch. Should have watched you call Yeller, filler.
00:52:29
Speaker
All right, so you've committed murder all right, so Good well you've done that so now what do you do? Do you want to go back to the trail and go you were originally starting to do this for directions?
00:52:49
Speaker
Just pat him on the back rental just pat him on the back. It's it's all right, buddy And yeah, I thought you were soft, but killing a man called blood like that. I'm impressed Hey, hey, hey, we're no cold blood. He had a gun out and it was Not very self-defense, but it was still yo, he drew a gun If you're doing that out here Totally totally self-defense. We got your back buddy. Yes
00:53:13
Speaker
I heard him cock it. He was loaded. Yep. He was just really good. He was really good at doing sound effects. He just made it sound like he talked to me. I can't do this shit. That's the sound I've heard many times. Okay. So you guys are going to continue up the hill or straight forward? I guess we just keep going straight. I guess we keep going straight. What do you think? I think straight is good. Yeah.
00:53:43
Speaker
All right. So you go straight and you go, you, you, you ride for probably about another 45 minutes or so. Um, it's definitely past noon at this point, probably, probably like getting closer to one or two o'clock. Um, and, uh, you, again, you see some more people passing through taking different roads, you know, the, the streets relatively busy for this time of day. You know, there's a lot of people riding to and fro doing their thing. You pass like a couple, like little, little farmsteads where people were, you know, you know, hoeing, hoeing the ground, doing some plantings, things like that.
00:54:13
Speaker
At the risk of getting in trouble again, is there anyone like near the road doing their hoeing and telling oh Yeah, there's like a little homestead not far off like you know that it's like a little shack that they built like on some property And they're just you know there's a there's a there's a gentleman out front With his wife, and they're you know He's like he's he's he's doing some hoeing in the in the garden And she's bringing bringing him a fresh and his wife a water Hoes belong in the brothel
00:54:45
Speaker
Get back to my place I'm doing home visits is that is that that who are from matching carpets?
Farmstop Misadventures: Pie Theft
00:54:58
Speaker
Yeah, like you see a gentleman he's he's shirtless he's like he's out there how when he's he's very ripped very very strong-looking gentleman little sweaty and a little hairy on the back Yeah, and
00:55:10
Speaker
And yeah, the wife comes out, she's also a little hairy. She comes out, she's a dwarven woman, that's why. Little dwarvish gal. And she's coming out and she's like, I've got some water for you.
00:55:27
Speaker
And he's like, he's a human man. So he's doing, he's doing some hoeing. So if you want to go talk to someone, he's probably the closest bet. He and he and his little dwarven wife. All right. You, you, you guys swept away a little bit there. Uh, I'll come, I'll come catch up to you. I'll go ask this feller if you got any directions for us. All right. Uh, right over.
00:55:54
Speaker
Slowly, I had walked my horse as slow as possible into their yard. Howdy. Oh, good day. To you as well. Me and my associates there, we're just doing some deliverance and whatnot, so we're hoping to find lame duck pollen, but we seem to not be certain of the location. Any help we can give them, it would be much obliged.
00:56:22
Speaker
Well, I'm familiar with exactly what a pond is, but I know what's up on the hill. I remember it's, it's, it's upwards. But I ain't been up there since the Pussyfoot gang went and taken over. Oh, yeah. Oh, I heard something about them. What's, what's, what's their whole thing?
00:56:40
Speaker
I mean, I'll be honest with you. I mean, frankly, I don't think they're that, like, skilled, but the fact that it's a bunch of morons with guns, like, makes it kind of scarier, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna hurt themselves and everyone around them.
00:56:55
Speaker
I met a moron with a gun earlier today, in fact. Oh, was that right? Yeah. You smell a bit of gunpowder, so I was wondering if maybe you had seen some stuff. Yeah, I'm still here, and he is not to be seen, so you can imagine the outcome of that. But hey, who's... Can you hear the little wife, like, peering at the door, goes, oh, my. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to discuss violence in front of the Mrs.
00:57:22
Speaker
I know it's fine. She loves violence. She's the warmer. She loves that. She loves it. She kicks my ass at wrestling every night. Fair enough. We have our own league we do in the backyard. Just the two of us. I like to come out on different outfits and she's always the crusher.
00:57:51
Speaker
I have to change my character every time because he kills my other characters. That's, that's mighty interesting. Uh, glad to hear you're having fun and you're in your marriage and keeping it fresh. I suppose. Yeah. Uh, yeah, baby. So, uh, these, these fellows, what I already use this gang here, where they cause trouble for locale, local, local peoples. What's.
00:58:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I tell you why. I mean, forgive me. Forgive me. You know, I'm Chase. What's your name? Oh, I'm sorry. I leaned down and put my hand on a firm shake. My name's Cutter. Cutter O'Toole. He gives you a real good firm handshake and he kind of pulls you a little closer. He says, you're a mighty good looking man there, Cutter. Thank you. Sorry, I'm Mr. Scruffy. I usually keep myself trim, but I haven't seen a razor many days.
00:58:44
Speaker
Oh, wait, no, I understand. You know, I stopped shaving my back after I realized that the Mrs. Loves it. Well, we've got to do what she's got to do for the ladies, I suppose. Hey, you tell you what, that makes the word go around, you know what I mean? It's true, it's true. So, any other, any little bits, we got to go out that way. Anything else you can tell me about them pussyfooters?
00:59:06
Speaker
Oh, the pussy for it is, I mean, I don't know a whole lot about them, except that they're just a bunch of agents with guns. But, uh, I mean, honestly, uh, look between, between you and me and the missus who's, uh, you know, probably getting aroused while we're talking about this. Um,
00:59:28
Speaker
He's already pulling out like a domino mask and putting it on his face is like, yeah, we're good. Just get ready. He's like, he's like, um, well, listen, and like, he's already putting on like some leather gloves as he's talking to you. He's like, look, um,
00:59:44
Speaker
All I know is they're a bunch of idiots with guns. And frankly, between you, me and the missus, uh, the world ain't going to miss them. You know what I mean? Uh, they're just, they're ne'er-de-wales who are not good at being ne'er-de-wales aside from the fact that there's plenty of them to do ne'er-de-wale things. Oh, that's a good, how many of them is there up there? Oh God, man. I don't, I don't know. I'm not there. I'm not there. What's the rough rumor around the town?
01:00:10
Speaker
I mean, anytime we've ever seen them riding around, there's at least half a dozen or more. Oh, okay. They've done anything big lately, anything that might anger some folks? You know what they did the other day, actually, is they've been knocking over pedestrians with their horses. Well, that's no nice at all.
01:00:34
Speaker
No, it's not very nice at all. And, you know, hopefully she Tippins, she broke her hip when they knocked her over. Oh, my word. Yeah, we thought it was ironic because her name's Tippins. I mean, from the house. But that is a little entertaining.
01:00:56
Speaker
Yeah, she ended up dying from an infection. It's still kind of funny though. Actually, she's buried under the garden here to help our plants grow.
01:01:08
Speaker
Well, if she's still contributing. Yeah, she didn't have any family. So we just thought should we, she could contribute to more life. Turn her classic fertilizer. Well, thank you, Eric Chase. You've been mighty helpful. We'll be careful up there. Good luck with your wrestling.
01:01:32
Speaker
Oh, oh yeah. Yeah, right. Right. And he takes off, he starts to pull down his pants and like, he has like a little, like, little tights on. I just got to learn them all the time now. You never know when, uh, when it's down to wrestle. So while I'll tell you what's happening, I want to try and like sneak into like the kitchen and get some food.
01:02:03
Speaker
I imagine this that they are out in the garden and I could sneak in from like the back door or the window and grab something.
01:02:16
Speaker
I mean, I'm trying to think if they would be if they would have a back door being like a like a poor farming couple They probably have some kind of maybe maybe winter perhaps It's Yeah, you know what? They probably have some shutters on their winters You might be able to sneak in but but again, the wife's right there and it's not like a big old ranch home It's just like a one or two roomed house. So it's gonna I'm gonna you know, it's gonna be a minus two rule to try to get out the cart and
01:02:46
Speaker
Sneak around and jump in there without them noticing that you're in there a saving That's a seven minus two which makes you to five it's still a standard success I'm gonna say that you can you can pop up into that winter Pretty pretty okay. I suppose it's not gonna be like the the greatest job you've ever done trying to be a sneaky boy Yeah
01:03:15
Speaker
There's a fresh baked pie on the windowsill. Yeah, pie fixes everything. I'll get the pie and maybe a bunch of apples. Yeah. You're just going to rob these poor farming people. Yes. All right. You get inside and you're just going to start taking pie and fruit. Yes.
01:03:41
Speaker
Okay. All right, so you're robbing these people. Excellent. Okay, so can you make me a, while you're doing that, can you make me a general, let's call it, oh, I don't know. It's a general notice rule. How about? No, it's a 11.
01:04:08
Speaker
That's an 11. You've been spending more time taking things than you probably realize you have been, just rooting through their stuff. And then, again, the missus kind of comes back in. So you can hear her making her way back towards the kitchen. And she's going, I'm so excited for pie. I'm so excited for pie and some wrestling.
01:04:33
Speaker
So my big strong man's going to be so excited to get some pie and also this sweet dessert I've made. You have to things and bolt out the door. You're going to bolt that. Well, she doesn't have a back door. They only have a windows. You have to jump back out the window. And I bolt out of the window.
01:04:50
Speaker
All right. Can you make me an athletics role to jump out the window before they can see you just barely pass? You jump out, you make it out the window, but like, like you definitely make a lot of noise. It's just like knocking over shit, busting through. Me and Chase are probably, what was that? Yeah. So like, and she's like. And you just hear like, as like you, you, you, you jump through the window and you sprint away, you hear.
01:05:33
Speaker
Honey, honey, there's something wrong with your beautiful pie, honey, like sprinter. I watched him run across the yard like, oh my. Well, good luck with that. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm going to head them all way.
01:05:46
Speaker
What in the hell, my pie?
01:05:54
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Congratulations on your marriage. I think he was confused. And then you, as you guys are like heading back out, you hear like screaming in the distance like, I trusted you. You all robbed us.
01:06:24
Speaker
Also pick it into high gear kick it and whip that horse up yeah
01:06:31
Speaker
The speed of some carrots to get it moving. However it works. It sounds like putting wood in a wood chipper when you give them carrots. So you guys are riding away up the hill, I suppose. What were you doing, Arthur? It was so important you had to go there and break people's windows and all it is you was doing. Steel paths? You know, we have a new member in our team and I just want to get her some food.
01:07:02
Speaker
sorry man I turn back around and like your friend up high and I throw like an apple to cover oh my god I'll feed just a butternut later I guess I can't take y'all anywhere
01:07:22
Speaker
And so, uh, so you guys head up the hill towards a lame duck pond. It continuing your, your, your drive. I'm going to overlay all the information I learned as we go. Yeah. Sure. About, uh, how there's like a little over half a dozen or so of the boys are just a bunch of dumb assholes. Yeah.
01:07:46
Speaker
And then you go a little farther up and then, um, uh, would say it's probably like getting closer to four, four 30 ish. And then you kind of start to see, as you're kind of going up a little bit more of an incline, uh, you see, as it starts to level out, you can see a nice, big, beautiful pond. Um, that's, uh, you know, it's probably, it's been.
01:08:05
Speaker
sizable for your location. And you see that there's some campfires that look like they're still warm from previous things being cooked and things on it, such like that. You see a set up or there's a soup can or soup pot hanging over the fire.
01:08:23
Speaker
You know, we're cooking some soup and see a couple of people of a very, you know, there's a couple of halfling folk and mostly other humans that are kind of walking to and fro and one of them's like beating on some leather, tanning some leather. And just see if he's just bored. There's not any dust coming out anymore. It's just like whatever.
01:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a game. It's like falling a cup but not as fun. So you guys ride up and you can see that there's at least from where you're where you guys are currently like headed. You can see at least like four, four fellers that are outside. You know, there's a couple of tents that are like pitched out towards the back end of the pond. But pretty much in the open, right?
01:09:18
Speaker
I mean, oh, yeah, for the most part, yeah, they're like, they're like around the lake, like on the on the right side of the lake. Again, they have like their little camp set up and stuff like, you know, their crates in their, you know, their little tents and stuff like that. You know, general, general Wild Westy campsite looking thing. That you can see right now for. Okay.
01:09:40
Speaker
Yeah, you see a couple of halfling folk and a couple of humans that are just, you know, either beating leather or making soup or, you know, just like chilling on, like sitting on a crate, like carving wood, whittling. Okay. Why don't we roll up, tuck off this side real quick and discuss our plan here. How about you show us air breathers, what is what? She's air breathers, what is what? So you guys are trying to like stay hidden?
01:10:08
Speaker
That's my initial goal, yes. You want to roll me a stealth, since you're a separate driving entity from them? Entity? Yeah. Stealth. Just to see how high a day that's a tan. That's a tan. Damn. Yeah, like you cut off before anybody sees any hide or hair of you. I would have heard a couple of people clapping.
01:10:32
Speaker
All right, well, you can go ahead and roll the stealth, but you have a buggy, so it's going to be a little tougher while you shouldn't have rolled, because I was going to say you got a minus. I know I'm not stealthy. Yeah, you're trying to move this big ass wagon leg.
01:10:50
Speaker
Um, down, uh, you know, down like some sort of slope so that you're hidden, but like you do that, but it makes a lot of noise. Cause like that poor horse is going down a slant to stay hidden in like the fucking wagons, like hitching up against his ass. Like, like, like, when you kind of get tossed like towards the front, the bit and the camera's sliding around and the bulbs are sliding around. Damn it. Watch where you go in asshole.
01:11:21
Speaker
You hear somebody from the lake, from the pond, going,
01:11:26
Speaker
I ain't done nothing. Who told me to watch where I'm going? Who told me to watch my asshole? You watch your asshole. So what do you do? You kind of like dipped a little bit below like we're at the lake level so like they can you're out of at least eye line.
01:11:52
Speaker
I want to see if there's like anybody coming towards us now so that we make such a ruckus. You want to do a little Peeky Peek? A little Peeky Peek. How about you do a little notice roll for me? See how well you do. That's a 10. At the 10 on the notice roll.
01:12:11
Speaker
Yeah, you you pick up like real quick. Yeah, can you get back down a Ren also got a 17. She aced twice plus Yeah, you guys So awesome You see you see like the four that you saw like, you know You said you saw one a little halfling fellas like running over and like nudging the guy who's beating the leather Hmm, and you're like you can't hear quite what they're saying, but like he's pointing over you know, so it looks like he's like gathering like some you know, some some support to go check out what's going on and
01:12:39
Speaker
so it looks like he in leather beater or like on their way over and Rin as you peek out the wagon since you got a 17 as you as you kind of peer up not only your your Androidic ears and your robot eyes or whatever it is whatever combination of that you have Like a scope on her hat that she pulls down she uses like a scope for herself and
01:13:05
Speaker
Perfect, so like you kind of zoom you zoom forward and you can see like in a way in the background You can see that there's like three other fellows that kind of like come walking out of this tent One of them's like zipping up his pants and more like tying his pants up
01:13:28
Speaker
Yeah, what was the first thing I think of? Right. And so you see three other fellers, you see a dwarven guy kind of in the middle of them, like with a big, big bushy
Approaching Pussyfoot Gang Camp
01:13:39
Speaker
beard. And you see like two other humans, one of which is like, you know, currently tying their pantalones up. Yeah, 1914, so we don't have a zipper yet.
01:13:46
Speaker
We haven't got zippers yet. We've got another 13 years before we get zippers. Who knows? Maybe the timeline's a little skewed because, you know, there's dwarves and halflings in this timeline. It's a primitive zipper. It's a primitive zipper. Ow! Damn, I caught the head again. Oh, God, man. They say it only gets shorter when you get older.
01:14:14
Speaker
Every time they use a zipper, you're risking laugh and lame. Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it? You lose it. I'm still losing it. The more I use, the more I lose. See, you're putting a zipper on a pedestal. So yeah, Ren, you spot three fellers coming out that tent that Ostrom wasn't able to clock from his position.
01:14:44
Speaker
Okay. I see three more guys. What do y'all see? I see three more. So there's like four guys and it seemed like they're coming towards us. Four guys and three more. That's at least 10, right? Seven. So seven. You hear bitey makes a bite sound seven times. I lost count after the first bite.
01:15:12
Speaker
Yeah, for the viewers at home, I'm also illiterate and can't tell. We get each other. Yeah. How about you two stay behind the car behind the wagon and wait until they come to us and then you can shoot them and I'll hide behind the slope and they'll try to look over. I'll hack their feet.
01:15:38
Speaker
Damn, awesome. Well, I know I did shoot him another day, but he was already drawing his gun. We can maybe establish this and see what's going on here. I don't think those people would be very friendly to us. First of all, we can play the Outlaw card. Second of all,
01:16:04
Speaker
By all accounts, they're just a bunch of idiots wise what hex this phone you guys want them get dead a gunshot rings down on top of you guys and You it's you see like a dude with a couple of guys with a pistol that the ones that that awesome spotted that were coming up They beat feet while y'all were talking Oh shit
01:16:27
Speaker
And, uh, they do 11 damage to cutter as they just shoot down since he's the one on like the nice horse. He's the one that's not in the wagon. And they just like, they just shoot down and they, um, yeah. So whatever your toughness is, any of this work. So they hit a five, which need to get a four to get your pair to get your shots. So I take so every, so you get shake it, you get shaken first. And then every four above that you take a wound.
01:16:57
Speaker
You get shot by one of the guys in the video. So I'm fucking dead. You took 11 damage if your toughness is what? 6. I took 5 damage so I get shaken and I take 4 wounds. Well no, for every 4 above you take 1 wound. So you're wounded and shaken.
01:17:18
Speaker
Oh man, I've been wounded and I'm shaken by this experience. I wouldn't say that you get knocked off your horse when you take that shot. You take one like in the, aren't you wearing like a, like some sort of jacket, like a duster or something? Or you're not wearing a duster. I got a duster baby.
01:17:35
Speaker
You get one that clocks the thicker part of your duster and just lays into you, knocks you off your horse, and your horse goes, fuck this, and starts running away. Bye, buddy.
01:17:49
Speaker
Uh, and so you, you hear before we, before we start rolling, you hear, you hear, that's what you get for coming to our house. No, that's not the word uninvited. I'm sorry. I just wanted pie. So we're going to do some, we're going to do some card rolls now for initiative.
Ambush and Tactical Decisions
01:18:14
Speaker
Am I still hidden?
01:18:17
Speaker
uh you were hidden when you were trying to like when you were trying not to be seen by viewing them but they heard y'all fucking yelling and shit down there i wasn't yelling i was whispering yeah but they were and you were talking to them so um and you're not in the wagon you were you you drove the wagon down you're in the front of the fucking wagon so yes they see you they see they see uh the only one they probably wouldn't see maybe is wren because wren was in the back
01:18:41
Speaker
Um, so I don't know where she is, but like they would definitely have seen you and cutter. Um, so no, you're not hidden at the moment. Mr. Mr. Rogue.
01:18:55
Speaker
Yeah. So, uh, let's see top of the order is, um, Oh, the tough boys. Um, so nothing happens yet because wherever I imagine this person to be is not close enough to remotely get fucking close to you yet. So it was a waste of his turn. He just getting closer. You hear, I'll be there in a second. Um, let's see. So, uh, then after he goes, uh, Ren, you're up. All right. What do you do?
01:19:25
Speaker
I'm going to use my scope and shoot at him. Shoot at who? You're still in the back of the wagon, right? So you're like poking up through the front to take a shot? Yeah, I'm going to poke out through the window. Is it the wife that shot at us? Or was it the husband?
01:19:42
Speaker
You're like, wow, this is new people. No. Yeah. Yeah. This is this isn't the same two people. This is just like a halfling and a man, like the one that was beaten leather, like by the lake or the pond that shot at y'all because like they heard you fucking screaming down. Oh, I thought it was the wife and the husband, this was the pussy. But I thought they followed us and like was like, give me back my paw.
01:20:10
Speaker
I mean they I mean they might you don't know what kind of enemies you're making right now. I mean really off a lot of people Already shit Wild West yes, so you're currently in the back of the wagon That's like kind of tilted upwards because like Ostrom took the cart down like a little embankment to tell I kind of like try to hide you guys and so you kind of tilt it upwards and
01:20:33
Speaker
So, like, imagine that, like, your horse and buggy are, like, parallel to the lake that the side that the pussyfooters are on, and, um, and Cutter just got shot off the source. Okay. So, and you're in, like, you're in, like, a tarped wagon. Like, you don't really have a window. You just have, like, the back end, or you can crawl up through the front where Ostrom is. Okay. So, I will crawl up to the front and shoot out the window.
01:21:00
Speaker
And you can do multiple actions. Yeah, so you can take multiple actions. But how that works is if you're doing something that doesn't have a weapon that does multiple fire shots, which typically like pistols don't. Yeah, they're not machine guns. You can take multiple actions. But for each multiple action that you take, there's a minus. It's minus two if you take two actions and it's minus four to your action. If you take three, you can take up to three each turn. OK, there's more actions you can take. But right now it's just we're just focused on shooties for now.
01:21:30
Speaker
Well, I definitely want to just like reach out the front window and shoot at the woman who shot first at Cutter. Uh, you believe it or not, it's not a woman. It's just really high pitched tackle. Okay. Well, the guy then, he's just very, very, have a very high pitched voice. Yeah.
01:21:55
Speaker
Oh my word, look at her hand. All right, so you would roll your shooting skill. That is a seven. Even with any negatives that I would have given you, that's still a hit. So you shoot up and you shoot into them. So you do a four, if you'd have gotten eight.
01:22:18
Speaker
Then that would have been bonus damage, but you only got four. So you wing them for four. Let me check their toughness to see if... It's not enough. So you shoot them and like you wing through like his jacket. And he goes, my favorite coat! And he kind of like ducks like over the embankment to like try to avoid your shot.
01:22:41
Speaker
Okay. So you can take cover if you want, like to hide back in the wagon if you like. You can still move or you can jump out of the wagon if you want. I'll hide in the wagon.
01:22:53
Speaker
Okay, so you're gonna take take a little hidey-hole. Yeah, I'm a good all right Yeah, that's gonna. That's gonna obscure you pretty good cuz he can't see in there So it's gonna be a random shooty-shoot see if he hits you Okay up next we have got I believe hearts go before clubs so cutter you're up well I'm gonna try and come on shaking and then I
01:23:17
Speaker
Oh yeah, you have to un-shake, I forgot. I succeed. You succeed at un-shaking your sand. No, I'm like, around, I'm like, ugh, sons of bitches. I jump to my feet, and I attempt to... So remember, you have to declare your actions before you take them. Okay.
01:23:35
Speaker
I'm going to make them so you want to do more than one and trying to get myself lined up behind a tree. So I can run it behind a tree. That's fine. And so are you going to take one shot or multiple shots? I'm going to do a single Rudy Tutti point and shooting.
01:23:50
Speaker
Okay. So no penalty on that. Now what I'd say from where you are, you're probably maybe like, are you shooting with your pistol or with your, with your carbine? Yeah. My, my guns on the back of the horse, wherever it went on my rifle was my carbines in the back of the horse. So you got, you got your pistol. Yeah. It's that you're definitely not within like close pistol range with where these guys are.
Combat Choices and Actions
01:24:10
Speaker
Uh, it's probably going to be your mid range. So it'll be a minus two to the shot. Okey dokey.
01:24:15
Speaker
artichoke So it'll be a shooty what a fucking shoot. There it is. Found it. Are you shooting at the halfling? Are you shooting? Oh, yes human. Did I get a good look at who shot me? Probably not the halfling definitely shot you He's got yeah, he had a smoking gun when like you fell off and like looked up Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna take aim at that little MF and I'm gonna try and shoot him take that you ugly fucker
01:24:40
Speaker
So he was ugly when they got holes in their heads! I'm not gonna be you! Oh, I didn't do one shaking. Oh fuck, nevermind. Oh no! I didn't un-shake myself. Oh yeah, you have to un-shake yourself before you roll. What negative did I get? Well, that's really bad, so I can't just do a new roll. That's a minus two. You can re-roll it, it's fine. It's still kind of, it's tricky. Ah, still fucked up. It still is. He was ugly with a hole in their head!
01:25:06
Speaker
You shoot you shoot in like yeah, just kidding You shoot and you hear like a pew has like the bullet ricochets off of like a nearby stone So you were currently in like a half cover situation, that's good. That's good All right. We got Ostrum up next you're currently in the front seat of the boogie and there's a couple of fellers up on top of the heel That are currently doing some narrative well stuff. What do you do?
01:25:36
Speaker
So there are two people who are close to us right now, right? They're up on the bank, like on the embankment, because you guys went down the embankment to avoid being seen like at the lake. So they're kind of like on the high ground right now from you. But yes, there are two that are closer to you than the rest. OK, then I want to go up the embankment and slash twice against the halfling.
01:26:02
Speaker
Okay. And do you, I forget, uh, since you have double fisted, is that, does there a penalty? I think you still have a double or some sort of penalty for doing, there's no, there's no extra penalty. You just get the standard minus two. You don't have to do, there's usually a double if you swing with your offhand, but you have two-handed. One extra fighting role of a second melee attack and they're often at no multi-action penalty.
01:26:28
Speaker
No multi-action penalty at all? No, no one. No penalty. Oh, okay. All right. Very good. And also because I'm swinging with two weapons, if the person that I'm attacking has only one weapon in their hand, I get a plus one to my attack rolls.
01:26:50
Speaker
Onto to each one. Well, they it's a is it what weapons in their hand or weapons on their person and their hands Okay. Well, yeah, they only got pistols in their hands right now. So So yep, that is definitely only in one weapon So So you seven in the free So which one were you hitting first?
01:27:16
Speaker
I was trying to hit both at the halfling. Oh, both at the halfling? Yeah. And then I swing down on her. All right, only one of them hits. Yeah, only one of them just gets a little bit over their parry. So that is whatever your damage is on that. What's your damage, son?
01:27:43
Speaker
Oh, well, you only don't get the bonus damage. Seven damage with the axes. Let me see what their toughy is. Oh, you've shaken them. You've, you've cut across them and he's all like, Oh God, that acts as big as me. So you have shaken that feller and he is having a hard time as it were. Um, can I hide behind something like cover?
01:28:11
Speaker
Uh, there isn't like really much, cause you just ran up to like go attack them. So I don't think you're going to have enough. You can try to get a little bit of ways away from them, but like maybe back down the embankment, but like they would really give them the high ground on you if you did that. So yeah, the closest cover is probably like either the wagon or the tree that like cutters duck behind because they're kind of in like an open area because they came to you. So you just use your movement to climb up the hill to go fight them. I want to shake in person.
01:28:39
Speaker
Okay. Okay, fine. You're going to try to hide behind the shaking guy. We'll see how that goes. All right. Using him as a meat shield. Yes. Well, you already took an action. Otherwise I'd say you could do like a contest to do that, but you've already done your thing. So, but you could potentially do that next time. You want to do a contest to fucking use them as a bullet shield. Yeah.
01:29:05
Speaker
Okay, very good. Um, the hatchet man. Um, okay, so you two have gone, so it's time for the, for the, for the hench boys. So I'm gonna see if this guy can unshake himself real quick.
01:29:16
Speaker
Unshake. He doesn't have a wild eye, so he fails. The little guy's like, oh god, I'm still frightened. So he's just going to try to make a bolt back towards the camp, or like, Ostrom, now that you're up on there, you can see that about half a dozen other dudes are currently running towards your location, and you can see they're kind of getting behind some crates, getting ready to start shooting at you. Stay here. I need you.
01:29:46
Speaker
yourself he runs away because he fails to shake he doesn't get in the cover though like well actually no if he takes his full action to do that because he can't do anything else he's just gonna like run and like he's gonna like hide behind like we're like the cooking pots hanging over the fire
01:30:06
Speaker
and try to avoid getting shot in the face. So his boy sees you. As he runs, he just sees you right there. He pulls his pistol. He's in perfect pistol range to shoot you. As his buddy runs, he's like, all right, you ugly son of a bitch. And he's going to take a little shooty shoot at you and see what happens.
01:30:28
Speaker
That's a five he doesn't well while yeah, it's in case you're curious that wieners don't get wild dice so that those numbers don't count So that's a five. That's it. That's it. That's a shooty He does nine damage to you Austin, but I don't think that breaks your toughness though doing on
01:30:47
Speaker
He rips your jacket a little bit and he sees like the bullet kind of deflect off. He's like, what the hell?
Persuasion Attempt and Enemy Mishaps
01:30:54
Speaker
And he starts like, he starts like running back towards where his buddy is, like to go and take, go and take some cover.
01:31:04
Speaker
Run. Awesome. You're the only you're the only one that's up there. Everybody else is still down on the hill. So, yeah, there's like they're hiding. So they're hiding bite in their time. So, yeah. Also, I'm just going to do like some quick fire, like, because like two of these boys got fucking like rifles out that they're like fucking aiming down over across these boxes trying to shoot you. We'll give you're probably more you're more than 24 feet. So we'll give them their minus two for their shot.
01:31:35
Speaker
Um, so that's an eight. It's still a shot on you. Uh, and that's actually, they do get bonus damage. Oh no, that's no, that's the, that's their damage. I did the wrong thing. I did this. This is what I meant to do. Okay. So they missed. Nevermind. Ignore that. Nice damage. Ignore that. That was, that would have been terrible for you, but I rolled the wrong thing. So this, this, this nerd just misses completely like as it bounces across from you. Another one takes a shot. Same thing.
01:32:02
Speaker
uh also fucking misses you they they suck unless this is this yards or feet if this was yards they would be in range if it's feet they're definitely not in range i think i start i think it's feet in that book is it feet well if it's feet then they're definitely not in range to fucking not have a negative even with these rifles who uses
01:32:21
Speaker
Yeah. Um, and then, um, uh, football players, that's who, um, and so like a couple more come up. Um, and they do a little, uh, um, they do just a couple of cold actions. They're definitely, we're going to get a minus two on their shots too. Cause they're definitely not within fucking range of shooting you normally. Um, uh, that's still a four for one of them. And then I rolled damage again. God damn it.
01:32:51
Speaker
Well, then they both missed again. Goddamn, they suck. They're really bad at shooting. There's terrible shooters. Yeah, they're not. They're not. Yeah, they're not. They're not good, you know? And then there's going to be one more shot coming from across the way on you. This one's got a little better range. This one's going to kill me. Yeah. Yeah. These guys are apparently not very good at this.
01:33:16
Speaker
Wow Fucking did terrible to like his own teammate Okay, that's fucking shoulder shit, sorry buddy
01:33:35
Speaker
Well, that's redrawed. That's redraws. That's an ace for Cutter. That's a nine for Osram. That's a five for Wren. That's a three for the Weenies. And that's a king for the, for the big boy. Well, the other guys drawed shittily. Cutter, you're up. Nice. Um, geez. I,
01:34:05
Speaker
We're going to die. So you're behind a tree. These guys suck. They just tried to, they all shot terribly. I got shot right in the chest though earlier. Well, you got, you got sneak attacked. I did, but okay. Well, there's also at least one leader among them. There is a wildcard among them.
01:34:24
Speaker
What do you do there, cuter? I guess they haven't... well, they haven't hit anybody yet, have they? Except for me, earlier on? Except for you. I... Well, I mean, they shot Ostrom, but the bullet bounced off. Right before this, we started playing. I dumbed my persuasion down from a 6 to a 4, just because I liked the idea of my character not being too talkative. But now I'm going to try and be... I'm going to be like, oh, hold on, we didn't come here for no shooting or no fighting. Let's just all cool it.
01:34:54
Speaker
So shotgun fire, some actions have been swung, but let's all calm down. Uh, number 25. Yeah. Let's do what's going to be a contest. Um, I think I'm going to have, um, what would that be to contest the pursuit? Yeah. We'll do spirit. Sure. We can do spirit. I don't have good spirit. I have a minus one wound. I can't talk too good.
01:35:23
Speaker
Well, he rolled a five on a spirit roll. So it's a, it's, it's an even match. And the dwarven, the dwarven fella yells across and he's like, he's like, um, what's your business here, fella? I think I, I didn't think I'd get this far. Um,
01:35:49
Speaker
We were sent by the Phoney Express. We got some news for you.
01:36:04
Speaker
Yeah. I got news for you that you're going to have holes, extra holes in you. I know you got, I mean, I know you got anything like boss. He already has. I know he owes. I know you already got. You're going to, did I say extra earlier? I don't know boss. Um, well, you're going to have more in you when I'm doing with you. Um, that was actually, well, um, uh, I'm going to, uh, I guess I can't do much else. Can I do another attempt at talking to him?
01:36:35
Speaker
uh sure but it'll be at minus two because you uh you're taking multiple actions all right well i got i got intimidation so much right well all right here's the deal we got some high powered machinery on the back of this here wagon which we point to saying you guys it's gonna fry all your brains out of your heads
01:36:58
Speaker
He's just like, yeah, I believe you. He goes, boy, that sounds so scary. Yeah, sure does. Doesn't it there, Timmy? I think I got him, really. How about you talk, let it shoot more.
01:37:15
Speaker
Well, all right. We'll go do the, we'll go to the, to the wild card. Like he's the one that was yelling across the edge of the big dwarven guy. And he's, he pulls out this like really nice looking carbine. He's like, all right. Uh, and he, uh, he shoots that, she shoots that shit. Um,
01:37:35
Speaker
Well I guess he'd probably move into position and try to get a shot on Cutter, since Cutter was doing all this fucking threatening. But Cutter, you're currently in cover. He's within range. That'll be about minus two for him to shoot you with his carbine. So I'm sure he's going to do a little. And no, suck, he's back home.
01:37:58
Speaker
Jesus Christ, he's terrible. He's fucking terrible. He critically failed. The fucking gun locks up. The gun fucking locks up. He's like, shit. Oh, God damn it. And he like, you see, you see, he just like chucks the gun and he like runs, runs back to the tent and you see him like, he comes back out the tent with a shotgun in his hands. Um, and, uh, but yeah, he's a little farther away from me now cause he, his fucking gun jammed on him. This guy fucking suck. Okay. Um, so that leads.
01:38:28
Speaker
Yeah, that leads us to Ostrom. Ostrom, you're up. What's the people position right now?
01:38:36
Speaker
Uh, that right now, um, there are two to, uh, to your left who ran over to hide behind the soup. Uh, and then there are five other people that are like up and around the area. There's like four other like little wiener dudes that are like hiding behind crates and shit, like up towards the tents. And then you can see like the dwarven fella who seems to be their ringleader who is way off in the distance by his personal tent, uh, currently brandishing a shotgun.
Combat Highlights and Tragic Loss
01:39:02
Speaker
If I would go up to the people of the crates, could I hide behind those crates? Or are people around those crates?
01:39:16
Speaker
I mean, you could take cover to like behind the crates. You know, you wouldn't be able to make an attack like if like from the from the crate cover because you're wielding an axe. But like and you're short. I mean, there's a person behind the box. Couldn't I like attack the person and then hide behind the box? Well, if you're saying you want to go attack someone who's currently in cover and then hide in their spot if you kill them. Yeah.
01:39:42
Speaker
I mean, you could. It's a bit of a way, so it would probably be all your standard movement unless you dash to get over there. But you could. You could run over to where you see one of them hiding and try to try to do a little swingy. OK, then I'll do it. OK, so you're just going to run up to one of them inside my box. Yes. And I will swing my axis of.
01:40:04
Speaker
I'm gonna swing your axes these crazy fucking battle acts That is a 14 That is a 14 Why does the second one always suck? Hey, I mean you still got one. Yeah, it's still not that's still pretty good. That's still pretty good Let me see about their
01:40:33
Speaker
Let's see you scored a 14 on damage on the one you definitely get a bonus die for that damage. And then you've done 13 plus two damage which is 15. That is you have multiple races.
01:40:48
Speaker
Most on the attack you only get one bonus die But the damage can aces. All right, right. Yeah Yeah, so yeah, that's way more than enough to kill this fucking fool As you he has a toughness of five and you got 15 That's three times what he has like you you swing through you you shake him for the first and then like you just fucking put him down like you Need two wounds worth to kill him and he's like well, I guess he just looks up with like fear in his eyes like well, I
01:41:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, he's like, huh, this is unfortunate. And you just bury your axe into his body and he is he's in a bad way now. So he's dead. He's he's he's with the angels now. Cool. You did. All right. So you're now in his little little hidey box. Let's move to Ren, Ren, you're up.
01:41:46
Speaker
All right. You're currently down in the wagon and away from all the action at this point. All right. I guess I'll get out and meet up with the cutter and officer and attempt to join them.
01:42:03
Speaker
Well, Cutter's the closest one. Ostrum's way down into the mix at this point. But as you come up from the bank, you can see that Cutter is hiding behind a nearby tree. And you can see some miscellaneous dudes spread out the camp with hiding behind these different crates, and then two guys cowering over behind a soup container by the campfire. Okay. Let's see.
01:42:31
Speaker
Is the one guy that I shot first still up? The one guy that you shot? Oh yeah, he's still up. Yeah, you just winged him. But yeah, he's the one that's cowering. He's a little halfling that's cowering by the soup. OK. I'm going to try to shoot him and get him down. All right. You're pistoling him? Yeah. All right. He's a bit of a ways away from you. So that's probably going to use your mid-range shot. So it'll be a minus 2 to your shot to hit him. OK.
01:43:05
Speaker
It's a cult peacemaker. It's 12.48. Go for it. Um, that's a six on the wild die, which is two after the minus. Oh no, that's already with the minus, right? Yeah, I did.
01:43:21
Speaker
That's a sixer, that's a hit. That's a hit on him. So go ahead and roll your, roll your damn inch. So you roll the 13. Ooh, a 13, nice. So fucking, yeah, he's already shaken. So yeah, you put him down like with this fucking shot. It's like straight through, like he's like hiding, hiding his face behind like the, behind the soup can or behind the soup pot. And then like your bullet just gets him in the gut. And he just like.
01:43:50
Speaker
Yeah, no soup for you as it feels back in the suit the soup spills over scorching his little halfling body And you have you have taken down another one of these fools. Good job Did you want to move anywhere else to try to take cover anywhere or maybe behind a tree that cutters behind? Yeah Kind of in the open right now. Okay All right. Good shit. Well done
01:44:13
Speaker
Now it's the weenies turn so there's only a couple there's about four of them left plus the other guy Because you guys killed two. I believe it was a cut down and a shoot down. Mm-hmm cutter They're they're upset with juice so one guy's gonna get a little bit closer and try to take a pistol shot at you He rolled a four
01:44:37
Speaker
But you're in cover, so he does nothing because he sucks. Another one of the riflemen is going to try to take a shot at Cutter as well. He's going to do a little shooty shoot. He's a little farther away, but even at a minus two, that's a five. But you're also at a minus two for cover, so that's a three, so he misses again. Take that!
01:45:03
Speaker
Well, that's his damage. Never mind. Hang on. Oh, he doesn't have a wild die, so he definitely misses. Thank goodness. The other one is going. There's another rifleman saw you cutting down one of the other boys with the pistols and he's going to try to shoot it off from currently behind the crates. But he's behind the crates on the enemy line side. So it might be a little bit easier to hit him. But he's going to give it a shot. He's going to use his rifle.
01:45:33
Speaker
I'm only going to give him a minus two. So we're going to do a little shooty shoot. He doesn't have a wild die. Man, these guys suck. He rolls a three minus two. These guys blow. There's one more that sees Rin and he's like way out of his league. Careful by your shooting.
01:45:55
Speaker
Wow, yep, he critically failed his gun jams too. These guys suck. That's the end of that round. What's cowpokes? Cowpokes are like the weenies. Uh-oh, somebody got a Joker. Ooh, nice. Uh-oh, who's that? Me? Yes, Moses got a Joker. Ostrum. So I got another baby, right? Oh, I got, is that a three I got? I'm quick, I can re-roll that, or I can re-draw that.
01:46:24
Speaker
That's a nine. Nice. You got a niner. So the Joker means that you all get a Benny. Nice. I forgot about Beni's. Oh my god, Beni's, you guys. Beni's. You have Beni's. What do they do? We all took out a Beni from the beginning. I got balls. Yes, I gave you both. I gave you all two balls to start with. No, so you're free now.
01:46:46
Speaker
So you all have three balls now. So three balls. Yeah, I put the put the bennies there to help remind y'all that you get them. So yeah, so the Joker gives you all a Benny and I believe Adrian it gives you an extra plus to whatever action that you want to take.
01:47:08
Speaker
Yes, and then we reshuffle the deck after that So you can choose to go first or you can choose to interrupt somebody else's turn whatever works for you That's the beauty of the Joker is you can like if somebody goes to take their turn and you're like I want to interfere I want to do my turn now No, I think I'll start okay and
01:47:35
Speaker
First, is there more people behind boxes? Yeah, there's several. There's four other dudes left plus the dwarf that's by his tent. And one of them actually ran past you to go and try to take a shot at Cutter and missed terribly. So like the closest one to you would be the one that like ignored you to go try to shoot Cutter. And that's a good one to start with. Then I want to go up to that guy and swing.
01:48:06
Speaker
How is that if I would declare free attacks, but can I do this in different people? You still have the multi-action penalty it would just be a minus 2 because you're taking two actions one of which being educated to a zero wouldn't it? You're right it would So but yeah if you want to split up between three people It would you would just declare who you're using each action on okay? So yeah, I want to
01:48:37
Speaker
So you're going to do how many? I want to do three attacks. Three? Yes. On whom? All on the guy shooting a cutter? No, I think I'll do two attacks on him and then I go up to another guy and attack the next closest. Okay, go ahead and do two attacks on this failure here.
01:49:07
Speaker
That's a miss. Even with your bonuses, you got Jack.
01:49:15
Speaker
uh not great we gotta well so yeah so you went and took two swings at the guy that's shooting at and he just like definitely dodges each one he's like oh god so like you miss me like ah fuck this guy and then you run up to the next thing he's like got a rifle right you run up to the next guy that's got a rifle in his hand near the tanner and you're like he's like oh fuck
01:49:40
Speaker
Okay. So that's, so you get an extra bonus diet or damage on that one. So that's, uh, 14. That's 14. No, I teen. Dermage on that guy. Um, and, uh, yep, that's more than enough to shake and kill that dude. So right. So we have, you know, two.
01:49:59
Speaker
You have three downs, three minis left, and one boss. You do a classic Western sort of, he clutches his chest. Oh, look at him slice himself, and he goes, ah! And you scream. He lets out a Wilhelm and goes, yeah! Classic. So yeah, so you slice him down. So I slice this guy down, and I want to hide behind something again.
01:50:24
Speaker
Okay, cool cool cool. All right, very good. So Ostrom, you're good. And don't forget, you all three have an extra Benny now. And so let's go to Oh, it's a tough bullets turn. He's gonna run up. He's gonna run up right up on you, Ostrom.
01:50:42
Speaker
And he's like, he has a fucking shotgun in his hands. You know, they also have Beddies. Other wildcards also have Beddies. I think that they're overconfident in transportation. They don't forget them. Yeah, they don't forget them because they have my brain. So he's going to run up and just like put the shotgun like right near you and just try to take a shot because he's feeling that confident.
01:51:09
Speaker
He just sits it down near you and takes a shot at the ground. Yeah, he just sits down and he's like, uh, no, listen. What I'm about to do is impersonal. I am not your son. Oh, that's a bummer. Really bum me out there. Oh, he got an 11 on the wild die. That's definitely more than enough to get that bonus to image.
01:51:34
Speaker
and he's gonna shoot that fucking oh my fucking god 39 damage you really aced four fucking times on it stupid
01:51:51
Speaker
Now you can take something that we didn't have Justin do in the last campaign was you can do a soak roll and you can do a spirit roll, spending one of your bennies, you can only do it once. You can do a benny spirit roll to see if you can't mitigate some of that damage. I want to be weaker roll, it's for my health. I'm pretty sure it's spirit. Is it bigger? It makes sense for spirit in my opinion. Well, you know what? There is a soak roll, so just roll it and see what it does. This is soak roll.
01:52:21
Speaker
Yeah, the circle button. Wow, you did not roll well at all. You mitigated five. You know what? I think it's just every four, but to keep it simple, we're just going to say you mitigate five. Yes. Five damage. That's still way too much. So it's 34 fucking damage that he does to you. What's your toughness? This might not kill you because you have pretty high toughness. I have 13 toughness.
01:52:45
Speaker
Okay, maybe that'll kill you then. Because every four above, let's see, 34 minus 13 is what, 21? That's a lot. That's way, way more than what you have.
01:53:05
Speaker
Oh, man, Adrian, I'm sorry. But fucking like this dwarf just runs up and just places a shotgun like right near your fucking dome and just fucking explodes this double barrel shotgun into into Ostrom and Ostrom just like fucking collapses in a heap of blood behind these boxes. I don't even know if I should make you have a bleed out because like you've got so many more wounds than what you can take.
01:53:33
Speaker
This sucks so much, Ed, I was so excited to play this character! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, man! That's Savage Worlds, baby! You have a back-up one, right?
01:53:49
Speaker
So for a moment, the world stops as Ostrom sees pellets flying out of a double barrel shotgun, breaking through his tough scales and then leaving them in a lifeless pile on the ground. And you just hear the dwarven man shout out and he says, two down? Nope, that's not right. It's one down, sir. And two to go.
01:55:19
Speaker
Does it look good already?