I finally got to interview Jessica Fern, author of one of my favorite books, "Polysecure"! I've been reading and re-reading this book for a couple years now, and it has helped me enormously in navigating polyamory and understanding how my own attachment style might affect various partnerships.
In this interview, we discussed Jessica's bi identity and poly journey, why the intersection between polyamory and attachment theory is so important, the SPECTRUM of attachment styles (rather than four distinct categories, as it is often framed), why monogamy has been seen as a cultural ideal (and how that's changing today), why non-monogamy can feel threatening to some people (and how to work through that), the SPECTRUM of boundaries and how to course-correct when we go too far in either direction, love as an infinite resource or muscle that can grow, the SPECTRUM of non-monogamous relationship styles (noticing a theme...?), pervasive poly-negativity and the importance of finding like-minded community, how transitioning from monogamy to polyamory can change your attachment style, where jealousy comes from and how to use it to deepen a relationship, and how to have secure attachment with yourself.
There are five extra minutes of bonus content only on Patreon in which we continued talking about jealousy (and other things we’re taught to repress from a young age), as well as why polyamory is “relatively insecure” compared to monogamy -- and why Jessica thinks that can actually be a good thing. www.Patreon.com/RobertBrooksCohen
Visit www.JessicaFern.com for info on her books, seminars/webinars, psychotherapy practice, coaching, and more.
Get 20% of Liquid I.V. -- https://zen.ai/APzgr1I0sD6_kQntndiKfA