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A Life-Changing Decision - From Orphaned to Embraced: Zawadi Morrow pt1
15 Plays7 days ago
Dive into Zawadi's riveting story of survival amidst cultural customs in the heart of Africa. He shares about his beginnings, set against the backdrop of rural Congo's challenges and traditions. Discover the touching story of how one brave decision secured a future filled with love and belonging. for his grandchild. Experience the transformation from an uncertain start to a life where identity and hope flourish.
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose of 'Pause and Think'
00:00:01
Speaker
We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest
00:00:23
Speaker
Well, hello. My name is Jackie Darby, and I am here as the host today for our podcast Pause and Think. And our heart is to have honest and real conversations regarding the subject of adoption.
00:00:39
Speaker
And so whether you're a parent or you're an adult adoptee, somebody walking through the journey, or even if you're just a family member or a friend who knows somebody who's adopted, our heart is that you would be encouraged, that you would walk away hearing our stories and be filled with hope and encouragement, and ultimately to know that your identity and worth is found in our Heavenly Father. So today, I am so excited um because we have a wonderful guest with us today.
Guest Introduction: Zawadi Morrow
00:01:12
Speaker
His name is Zawadi Morrow, and I met Zawadi at CAFO, which is Christian Alliance for the Orphans. It's an organization, a nonprofit, and it's in the United States. And I met Zawadi two years ago
00:01:28
Speaker
I was a first-time attender, and Zawadi was leading worship in all the general sessions. And I can just tell you that it was amazing as he led us in worship and just right into into the presence of the Lord.
00:01:44
Speaker
um But not only that did I enjoy the worship, but I also had the privilege and honor of serving with Zawadi on a panel for adult adoptees. And during that panel, we were sharing our stories with a room full of um parents.
Zawadi's Early Life and Adoption
00:02:03
Speaker
um last year and this year, just using our stories to bring encouragement. So Zawadi, welcome to our podcast. I am so um glad you're here with us this today. Thank you so much. That was a really, really kind introduction. I appreciate that. ah Well, I don't want to talk a whole lot right now because I want to give you time to share your story. Your story was pretty intense and pretty amazing. We all have different stories, but I want you to tell our listeners today um more about your adoption story.
00:02:43
Speaker
yeah yeah so i um I am originally from a country in the middle of Africa called the Democratic Republic of Congo. um It was called Zaire when I was born there, and I was born in the eastern part of the country, sort of towards the Ugandan border in a little tiny village um in the foothills of the Etturi Forest.
00:03:10
Speaker
And the um kind of circumstances around my birth, my my my biological mother passed away due to complications in in childbirth with me. And um the tribe that I was born into um they had some some kind of local customs and traditions ah and and and one of those traditions had to do with sort of whenever this kind of a situation or scenario would happen um which which was
00:03:44
Speaker
I wouldn't say it happens super often, but but sort of in in a rural part of Africa, there's not a lot of health care, and so it's it's ah certainly ah a thing that does happen. um But in their in that context, the the tribe, the community,
00:04:00
Speaker
um ah most of the time well will will blame the baby for the death of the mother. um and And so what has kind of become their tradition, and their practice, is that they um would essentially just wait until the baby would would die, and then they would bury the baby with the mother.
00:04:21
Speaker
And so when I was born, there was there was a young girl there who had helped with my delivery. And she came to this this European missionary family who who had been living in the village um for a number of years. And and she told them about me and and some of the traditions and what would likely happen.
00:04:44
Speaker
And she told them that you know they were likely the only people around that would have the opportunity to to do something, not having access to things like formula and and other things. they They really were sort of uniquely the only people that that were were able to do something. And so um she informed them of the situation.
Life with Adoptive Family
00:05:08
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And it it ended up ultimately being my my grandfather um who, because of the circumstances, he was the one ultimately that was sort of had custody over me or had the ability to kind of make decisions on what what was going to happen with me.
00:05:23
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um And so he he he spoke with with them and and kind of explained that you know even even if they were to to take care of me for the first few months until I was able to you know eat solid foods and things like that, even if they intended to to return me to my biological family that i wouldn't I wouldn't have a future in the community there because I would always be seen as sort of the one who was responsible for the death of my mother.
00:05:52
Speaker
And so he was the one that that that was really ah key in in saying that that that this this family, and this couple had had the opportunity to give me a future. um And so by the grace of God, they they said yes. um and And so I had the opportunity to to grow up um and and to know love and and place and belonging and all of those wonderful things.
00:06:21
Speaker
yeah Wow. Yeah. I've heard your story before, but each time it just like, oh, touches my heart. Um, so Zawadi, your parents were missionaries and where were they from? Did you, where were they from? And did they stay in that area?
00:06:39
Speaker
Yeah, so my dad is is from Northern Ireland. And I is still still strong, thick, kind of Northern Irish accent. um And my mother is from Germany, um down in the Black Forest region near Stuttgart. And they they were were missionaries in the Congo, um a total of about 18 years. so um And so I came along at the tail end of that. So we remained there in that area for for just a couple of years before before we ended up moving. um And we were we were um ah back home for them in in Europe for a couple of years after that on on furlough home assignment kind of thing.
00:07:25
Speaker
um and And then when we returned to to Africa, we ended up living in Kenya for nine years after that. So they had ended up kind of serving on the mission field for 27 years total in in Africa. wow Wow. That's awesome. That's amazing. And your English is amazing. I would never have thought that you came from the European background, yeah African and European. So quite a mixture, Zawadi. That you know is amazing.
00:07:53
Speaker
and so at what age or obviously racially you could tell you are different but could you tell us at what age did your parents um begin or did they tell you ah The truth of your story, um how how did you get into that subject of adoption with your parents? Yeah, so um when when we were in the UK, I was probably um somewhere around two years old or so.
00:08:26
Speaker
um kind of going through the the adoption process for the UK to get kind of formal papers and um ah passport, et cetera. um They were kind of going through their process. And and and you know one of the questions was, you know are you gonna tell your son that he's adopted? And kind of the joke you know with my parents was, I think i think that's gonna be self-evident. But I, i I don't recall this. My my my mom has has told me this when I was about two or three that I um had asked her, at what point does my skin color change to look like hers?
00:09:11
Speaker
Right ah because you know, I've got dark skin. They've got light skin um and ah You know, she she explained, you know that um You've got dark skin. I've got light skin that that that's the way that God made us and But I i genuinely don't don't recall a time where I was not aware of my story. um it was It was something that was very, very normal um and and was just a part of our our
00:09:46
Speaker
our family makeup and and and conversations. And and um it it was it was, I would say, because it was so normalized, it it wasn't ever shied away from and it wasn't sort of overly celebrated either.
00:10:03
Speaker
um It just was, you know, this is how you came to be part of our family. And, and you know, my my other two siblings who were their biological kids, you know, they obviously came came differently. um But it it was it was very normalized from from as far back as I can remember.
Identity and Racial Discussions
00:10:24
Speaker
Wow. that I find that so interesting because at two years old, you know two years old you're barely talking, um but yet you noticed a difference and it it created ah just something in you to ask, to express to your parents, yeah and which I love it that because it makes me think that your parents created a very safe environment for communication with you, that you were able to express it at such a young age. And even at that, you're so young,
00:11:06
Speaker
But yet, you said for as long as you can remember, it it was just normal. and And you guys talked about it, or whether you talked about it a lot, but it was acknowledged. Acknowledged is the key word, I think. yeah It wasn't hidden.
00:11:24
Speaker
Um, it wasn't hidden and it wasn't, um, you weren't lied to, you know, when you asked that question about skin color, your mom didn't make up a story. Um, that they just lived in the truth. And so I really, I really appreciate that. Um, but would lead me to the next question for you.
00:11:46
Speaker
Because of your difference um in in, you know, your race, did you ever struggle with that um in your childhood or or in your teenage years, even though it was a normal thing and very accepted and your parents clearly communicated with you? um Is there ever a time where you can share with us that you struggled? And um how'd you deal with that?
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, um I feel like it's been a ah probably a pretty reoccurring um thing, I think in different seasons of ah sort of re, re you know,
00:12:28
Speaker
trying to rearticulate sort of a sense of identity and a sense of of who am i um you know i I. I can think of a number of of instances where um I think there were a few things at play with with my growing up, which was one, sort of being being racially different from my parents.
00:12:51
Speaker
um but also the fact that that we spent most of my childhood um not really in either of our spaces of, you know, formation, right? So my parents spent most of their life living outside of Europe but um and I was Congolese, but I spent a lot of my time growing up in Kenya. um So we were already kind of culturally distant from our places of formation.
00:13:20
Speaker
So that was something that that was already interesting and unique. um and And so I think for for me, um growing up, I i pretty regularly um kind of had that experience of I'm not like anybody else around me.
00:13:39
Speaker
um and And sure, certainly living in Kenya, there's lots of people that share my same skin color, but we don't have the same cultural background. um and And so that I was really aware of that both at school, at home, with with with you know playing with my friends. um And then the handful of years that we lived in Europe,
00:14:01
Speaker
was different. There's a lot of people with lighter skin there, um but similarly, you know, it was like, I'm not'm not like them either. um And so I would say I had kind of wrestled with that um at at various stages of my life, sort of through my teenage years, even into into my twenties. And I think what what I really ultimately began to to experience, and this is just,
00:14:29
Speaker
I think God's grace and in this was was was helping me to understand sort of how that that unique makeup um isn't a a a thing to be afraid of um but but rather is a thing to celebrate and and rather is a perspective that I can bring to the world. It's a perspective that I can bring to the various communities that I get to be a part of um because I sort of have this unique lens of kind of being sort of
00:15:04
Speaker
always some version of an outsider or some version of a minority kind of regardless of where I am and and I think the gift is that that that allows me to kind of see others who might fit that same that same bill in whatever context um and and it it creates a level of empathy I think it it it creates a level of of understanding, I think, for for others, um that that as I've gotten older I've really began to realize that that's that's kind of a gift, um that that maybe it it takes a little bit more for others to arrive at, um but as a result of of my upbringing and and kind of being
00:15:46
Speaker
i ah sort of uniquely me, um that's that's something that that's a gift that I can turn around and give to other people and utilize in that way. so Yes, I can so relate. um You know, even as an adult, I'm a missionary in Guatemala. Definitely I don't blend in here either. um So I can so relate to you.
Music, Identity, and Faith
00:16:12
Speaker
But because of our faith,
00:16:14
Speaker
Because of our relationship now with our Heavenly Father who gives us our identity and worth, we see we have a different perspective. We're seeing it in a different lens that ah what makes us different is actually a good thing. And God's using it now um to show show people compassion and empathy, like you said, and share about Him and His love, which ultimately gives us our our worth and our our identity. And we don't have to dwell on
00:16:49
Speaker
how you and I began our lives, um, which was in a very, maybe embarrassing negative light or somebody, you know, on the outsides looking in. But now, because we see it with the lens of, of the Lord,
00:17:03
Speaker
um we're seeing it very differently. Can you tell us um something special that your parents did for you growing up? share I'm sure you have a lot more, but is there something special you can share with parents who are are listening, um something that meant a lot to you as an adoptive child?
00:17:25
Speaker
yeah um i Remember an instance as as i was I was a kid, I was i was in in primary school, elementary school. um And I had ah remember coming home and a few couple kids had had been teasing me you know on the playground for different things. And I remember talking to my parents about that. And I remember my dad talking to me that night and and just saying look you are um my son and you have value and you have worth and you have belonging um because that's what I give you as your dad and
00:18:17
Speaker
You don't receive that from anywhere else. That's the gift that you receive from me. And so no one else can take that away from you. No one else can give that to you. That's my role as your dad. And so don't ever let anyone question that in you again, um because that's not their role. That's not their place. um And in that that ah little conversation, um has has stuck with me um throughout my teenage years and and even as an adult and um and and even as a dad now. you know it it it It gave so much so much um such a sense of of place and belonging and and being seen and known ah that that
00:19:11
Speaker
And it was such a gift that he was able to articulate it so so clearly and so succinctly um and and with all the kindness in the world that that he exhibits just because of who he is. But but it was a really profound moment for me of of really understanding deeply, okay, i know I know who I am, I know whose I am.
00:19:32
Speaker
um You know, and that that I was able to sort of put more shade and color to that as I as i got to know Jesus, you know, as a teenager and and and began to kind of develop that more and understand, you know, that's really God the Father's heart for for me and for all of us um as as His kids, as Christians, as believers.
00:19:52
Speaker
um But man, it was it was such such a beautiful thing for me to to get to hear as as a young boy um from my dad with such clarity and it it really helped and shaped who I thought I was and how I i moved forward in the world.
00:20:10
Speaker
Wow. What I'm hearing is that your dad spoke words of life into you. And those words, even as a father, an adult, they just, they breathe life into you.
00:20:27
Speaker
And they have stuck with you a lifetime. And so I think one of the keys ah is our communication. um From little on how you talked about at two years old, you began communicating with your parents. They communicated with you throughout your your childhood. And then your dad spoke those words of life into you that just helped form you as a young man. even when you struggled and questioned with your identity, um clearly coming from very diversely different um ethnic backgrounds and and everything, they just spoke life into you. And my last question, um you are such a talented musician and songwriter. And um I've
00:21:13
Speaker
you know My husband and I benefited from that at the conferences um that we were in and just ah so enjoyed the worship. But how has music played into your healing process? Because I can't help but think that you know hearing you worship and and just having that communication with your Heavenly Father, how has that played into your healing process? Yeah, oh my goodness. um It's been huge. um i Music has has has been a part of my life for for i mean really since I was a child. um it was It was a priority for my parents, so all all of all of us as kids, you know we had to pick an instrument and take music lessons and that and that was sort of it.
00:21:57
Speaker
sort of a house rule, so to speak. um But i I really kind of gravitated towards it more more so than my siblings, and and um obviously to some degree it's what I do now, so that that checks out. um But something that that that especially especially in the church and especially as music relates to worship,
00:22:21
Speaker
um in in In my own sort of life and experience, I've found that that music, um singing ah has a particular way of of communicating truths that that I haven't found anything else really is is able to do. um For me, there's I can read a truth, i can I can say it, I can hear someone say it to me, and it means something. um But if I'm able to to to put that into music, if I'm able to wrap that into a song and sing it, um it it seems to speak so much more deeply to to who I am. um
00:23:10
Speaker
You know, I think ah St. Augustine ah gets gets credited for this quote, you know, um oftentimes sort of, he he who sings praise twice, um I think i think is is the rough quote. um and And there's there's there's a real real sense of truth, I think, to to the the the and the arts in general, but for me in particular music, um that that has has been really, really beautiful. um And then furthermore, even as a songwriter, um I think something that's been been so fun for me, um I think you experienced this really in in any sort of
00:23:55
Speaker
collaborative artistic pursuit. Um, but, but as, as, as you, as we've gotten together as songwriters and, um, so often you're bringing a number of people together from different cultural backgrounds. Everybody has sort of their own, their own person. They're bringing their own gifts and skills to the table. Um, and, and we, we, we submit all of those things together.
00:24:21
Speaker
we work on those things together. And as we're submitting those things, you you begin to recognize and see each person's individual identity, their skills and their gifts sort of are are coming forward. um and and And there's this beauty in in taking all of those things and creating something new. And what what comes out of that space is ultimately not,
00:24:46
Speaker
the singular expression of every any one of us, um but it's sort of this new expression that that has this representation from everybody who is a part of that experience. um and and and And what we come away from is come away with is is ultimately something that is that is new and and unique. And um the the more that I've had the opportunity to do that, I think it has really um it I've drawn so many parallels to to even the the the process of being a family, right? um that That each of us has sort of a role to play in that space and it's it's it's significant and what we come away from is something that is uniquely
00:25:30
Speaker
hours uniquely shared together. um and And so i've really I've really begun to sort of appreciate songwriting, appreciate the the creative process for for how it reveals more and more, I think, of who I am. um And as I am sort of pursuing writing songs for the Church, especially, um it's a gift to be able to try to continue to mine and expose sort of deeper levels of who God is and how we can relate to Him as our Heavenly Father.
00:26:03
Speaker
um And so it's it's it's a journey that that that i I couldn't be happier to be on um and and have have continued to find so much so's meaning and purpose in in in the pursuit of that. um And so i'm um I'm really, really, yeah, continually grateful to get the opportunity to do that.
Teaser for Next Episode
00:26:25
Speaker
Wow, thank you so much. I know we definitely were on the receiving end of how God has gifted you um with music, songwriting. ah We um not only enjoyed it, but we received a gift. i I remember distinctly that was one of my favorite parts of CAFO. The very first year was just the corporate um time of worship.
00:26:56
Speaker
And so I definitely was on that receiving end. um And through those times as we worship and communicate with our Heavenly Father, um God just does something special in our hearts and our minds. So thank you, Zawadi. And thank you to all of our listeners who joined us today um to hear his story. But I want to encourage you to join us for another episode because not only does Zawadi and ah have his own story, but he and his wife, Erin, have another story because not only is he an adopted child, an adult, they adopted. And so join us on the next episode to hear more from the perspective
00:27:46
Speaker
of a parent. So thank you, Zawadi, and I hope all of you join us back on the next episode.