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Interracial Adoption - Unveiling Hidden Cultural Layers: Zawadi Morrow pt2
24 Plays1 month ago
Interracial Adoption - Unveiling Hidden Cultural Layers: Zawadi Morrow pt2
Join us as Zawadi shares a heartwarming tale of surprise and nostalgia, celebrating family and identity. We dive into the challenges of interracial adoption and explore how cultural nuances play a pivotal role. Discover how cross-cultural experiences within families shape understanding and appreciation of diverse identities.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Think and Pause' and Guest Zawadi
00:00:01
Speaker
We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, everyone. I am so, so happy. My name is Aisha De Lopez and I am your host today for you Think and Pause. At least, no, I always turn it around and I named it. So it's like pause and then think.
00:00:40
Speaker
Anyways, it's a good combination to do both I think And so I'm so happy to be here again with our dear friend and brother in Christ the wadi If you have not heard his conversation with my co-host Jackie Darby Go back and have a listen because we're gonna reference that conversation a little bit in our time together I was um You know, so, so happy Zawadi to have the news that you were joining CAFO in a very cool, very beautiful capacity.
The Significance of a Painting and Zawadi's Adoption Journey
00:01:20
Speaker
I am an illustrator and so art is like very dear to my heart. I was admiring your painting just when we had like a little coffee break. You stepped up and I noticed that in the background. Could you tell me a little bit more about that painting?
00:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. So it is, um there is a mountain um and there is a river kind of running down from the top of the mountain. There are a couple of gorillas over here. um There's a small little building here. And this is a painting that that kind of depicts the the village where I was born um in the Congo. And so I ah i came across it, um gosh, this must have been,
00:02:08
Speaker
maybe seven years ago or so. um and and And my wife was able to get it for me for Christmas that year. So I didn't even know we'd seen it somewhere. And I had told her, I was like, this looks exactly like, you know, where I was born. um And then that Christmas, it it it showed up. um So I have it here on on the wall and in my office. yeah I love it. I love it. I, I suspect that it had something to do with not only a beautiful picture on the wall. Um, and it reminds me actually of a painting I got that reminds me of my grandpa's house where, you know, my mom grew up in a banana plantation here in Guatemala. it And you it just, it's very funny to me that around the world. We have certain little,
00:03:01
Speaker
you know, pieces of very familiar, yeah familiar you know, um um environments and huts. And it reminds me of that my grandpa's house in in the coast. So I love it. And I already like your wife. What a beautiful and thoughtful gift. Well done.
00:03:23
Speaker
So thank you for sharing with us. You're part of your adoption journey. I'm sure there's so much that you leave out just out of the, you know, sheer necessity because we don't have 11 hours to do this. But um I so admire your parents
00:03:47
Speaker
stamps. like there yeah I can tell through your um the way you narrate your story of how they just went about it in ah in ah in a way that was very conductive to your resilience. I can see that they went about it in a way that was just so wholesome and and head on that it gave you so much strength and and just resilience. So am I smelling that right? Yeah, yeah. Very much so. I think i think my parents never never shied away from ah sort of my story, from from their own story, which which is remarkable in many ways.
Faith, Storytelling, and Cultural Identity
00:04:35
Speaker
um And and and the through the the sort of thread, I think that that
00:04:41
Speaker
They always return to, um and always encouraged us to return to, is just that, you know, this is the story that the that Jesus is telling. um And so there's there's not...
00:04:55
Speaker
um there's not really any any any level of shame in that. um There's mountain tops and there's valleys, but but this this is the story that Jesus is telling, and and and this is sort of what what has has shaped us, what has shaped me, what has shaped them. And um and I think there's they've always been um Remarkably generous with with their story um And I think that that's something I've learned as well is is that it's it's not meant to be um Kept for yourself, but it's it's something to be shared um Because it's it's you know
00:05:42
Speaker
as as As people who who who who are shaped by by story, um you know we we get to share our stories and people people can find value, find worth, and and find belonging, find Jesus, find find themselves.
00:05:57
Speaker
and in the stories that that that we get to share. um And so that's that's something that they they have always always championed and and not just in words, but i've I've seen them live that out over and over and over again. And that's that that's something that has has has deeply rooted in me.
00:06:15
Speaker
Yeah. Contrary to what we ah typically listen to, this side of earth, because you've traveled a bit. You've been all over, man. Like you have a well-traveled passport. And it's such a rich background. we We're werere just, you know, talking very briefly yeah when we were and getting our coffee or whatever.
00:06:42
Speaker
and Jackie and me were just commenting on the richness of your legacy and your heritage um because you were not only, like you talked last time about being, ah feeling like a stranger or like a an outsider yeah often because of every angle of your story.
00:07:04
Speaker
And I think you touch on a very important matter here. And it's we tend to be very limited in our view of of who people are or so are supposed to be. yeah And there is a lot of ignorance. Like when you speak of Africa, for example, we were just cracking jokes. it And by the way, we had the privilege of having you at Collaborate which is the pre conference for the summit for the big CAFO summit yeah and that is just a wonderful experience you sit at the same table with people from all over the world in one African brother was just cracking
00:07:46
Speaker
us up about. And he was just so unapologetic, so politically incorrect, which I love. yeah And he was just cracking jokes at the rest of the world, just ignoring the fact that Africa is huge and that what you were saying is so important. Being Congolese does not make you at home at every part of Africa. right And that is just so important. um In our context, many people that are listening to us maybe in United States of America. ah We're actually in Guatemala. And I think it's the same in a lot of parts of Latin America.
00:08:27
Speaker
we are so um There's a deep rooted racism, so deep rooted that we don't even see it.
Interracial Adoption and Family Identity
00:08:37
Speaker
And that plays into adoption in a very big way. We don't have an adoption culture. And when we adopt, in but when I say we, us as a people, yes we tend to water down the differences. We either go with, oh, she looks just like you. And it's not it's not true. yeah Although sometimes kids tend to look like their parents, it happens. But it's like,
00:09:04
Speaker
Like you should be proud of the fact that you don't look different or you put it on the rug like that. you you So it's a very, very touchy subject. And I appreciate the fact that you brought it up and it was like a two or three year old little boy noticing a difference.
00:09:26
Speaker
yeah And that your mom was wise enough to tell you things plainly. ah But it's not, it's a challenge. Interracial adoption is a challenge. And in my context, because we are Guatemalan, even when Guatemalans adopt Guatemalan children, we do have different ethnicities here, even if we don't want to admit it. So what, what do you think is a very,
00:09:55
Speaker
real challenge for interracial adoptions. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, I think, I think you're right on in, in sort of, uh, what, what I got to observe in my parents, first of all, was sort of their, their marriage was cross cultural. So even though they were the same racially culturally, they were very different, right? My dad born and raised in the United Kingdom, my mom born and raised in Germany. Um,
00:10:23
Speaker
you know, they they were both born right right at the end of World War II. And so there's that at play as well. um And so I i think as as they learn to be in relationship with each other, um each other's sort of um the differences in their in their family and their traditions and things like that. I think they got exposed to um the the practice, I guess, or the process of finding value and creating space for for someone else's cultural identity. um And so then when they moved to to Africa, when they moved to the Congo, um there was already some understanding of of
00:11:07
Speaker
cultural nuances and differences and and and not better or worse, just different. um and and And there wasn't anything to to be ashamed of. There wasn't anything to sort of overly celebrate either. It just was, you know,
00:11:23
Speaker
We were all humans and we do things a little bit differently here versus here versus here. Um, you know, but, but probably fundamentally we all desire the same thing, which is some version of flourishing for us, for our families, for our communities, et cetera. And so for me then growing up being, being racially different, being culturally different, um,
00:11:48
Speaker
it it was it was a beautiful thing i think that that that was that was ah sort of really really uh... well integrated, I guess, into my family. So um you know as is as we sat around the table um throughout the year, sometimes we'd have meals that were German. Sometimes we'd have meals that were Irish. Sometimes we'd have meals that that were Congolese.
00:12:18
Speaker
um and And they were celebrated as, this is our family identity, this is who we are. um yeah Collectively, we are all of these things, right? And so then, then you know for me, when when when my wife and I, when we went on to to adopt ourselves,
00:12:37
Speaker
um And to do that internationally, cross-culturally, and cross-racially, that's something that we have continued to do um with our daughter of of incorporating elements of her culture and her context. And those things just become who we are as our family.
00:12:55
Speaker
um And we've we've really worked to sort of say, this is who we are now. And these are these are the things that that that our daughter gets to bring to us that that help bring more definition and more more beauty ultimately to to who we are. And that's that's something to to to be celebrated, you know? Isn't that amazing that we are called, when I listen to you, I think about about 1 Peter and when he writes to the exiles. He says, we are so sojourners and exiles in this world. And I think you know missionaries and really deeply rooted Christians need to be one with that concept. We shouldn't be at home, really, in this you know this earth. And I think we get too comfortable with familiarity, and there is a need. you know As adoptive parents, we know, we understand the the power of rhythm, of routine, of predictability, and the Lord affords us that.
00:14:09
Speaker
You know, every day he is dependable. So we have that part. And so much of it is built on, you know, to to belong, you need all those things. But at the same time, same it's like, you're not from this world. And I think the experiences that you're describing,
00:14:28
Speaker
make me think about Peter and what he was feeling when he wrote those words. And so it's like a tension. It's like you belong, you're mine, you're you're safe, but don't get too comfortable. this is You depend on me. And so isn't that just a a beautiful display of how adoption also works in in a child's heart. And now this is a double whammy when I'm talking to you because you experienced adoption twice. First in your natural realm and then the Lord adopted you through Christ and it made you, you know, crave him as a father. in And then you took a step forward to adopt.
International Adoption Decision and Challenges
00:15:13
Speaker
Could you expand a little bit on how you became, you know, um, adoptive parents, your, your wife in, in yourself? Yeah. Yeah. So, um, when, when my wife and I, uh, we're dating, um, and, and things were starting to get serious. Uh, I remember, um, having this conversation with her and I told her, look, you know, um,
00:15:42
Speaker
I just need you to know. um you know i was like i God's placed this this this desire for adoption deep in my heart and and it's it's it's been there for for for as as long as I can remember that that I've sort of known as as I you know grow up, as I have a family of my own, like I want adoption to be part of that.
00:16:04
Speaker
you know And so of I remember telling her heard that, you know i just said, that's that's you know one of the few like deal breakers for me kind of thing. you know What do you think about that? um And and she i mean she she just was 100% on board and said, you know yeah, of course, absolutely. um you know And i think I think some of that had to do with, you know um I think I was probably the first ah person that that that she had really interacted with meaningfully who had been adopted or that that she was aware of at least.
00:16:34
Speaker
And so I i think that that my family in general helped help to kind of paint a picture for what that could look like, what that could be. um And so ah we knew that going into ah into that. and and As after we got married, we we knew that we wanted to to try to wait a few years before we had children. um And then ah as as as we sort of jumped into that process, um we we felt like we were uniquely
00:17:07
Speaker
um gifted or or called to to do an international adoption. bang on and you know that was Some of that, I think, was just reflected of of who who my family is. right i'm I'm Congolese. My parents are from Europe.
00:17:26
Speaker
um my My brother, um he married a a woman from El Salvador. ah They speak Spanish in their marriage. um you know so so kind of If you come around the dinner table at at a holiday, you know there's but there's all kinds of languages and cultures. It's like and like a UN meeting. Yeah, it's a little it's a little mini United Nations meeting. so You know, we felt a sense of, you know, if we if we bring a child into our family, um wherever they come from in the world, they they will not feel out of place. um And so and so that that was kind of how we we walked into it. And um and we we all we we really began to pray and and and told the Lord, you know, there there there are children all over the world that that need homes and families.
00:18:14
Speaker
um ah So just you know point us in the right direction. you know We are we are um maximally open. um and And so the the the Lord lettuce led us to China, um which neither of us really had any Background or real cultural experience, you know, I I I traveled there with my dad when when I was 18 on a work trip of his and so i I At least you know spent two weeks there liked the people but otherwise, you know didn't know much about China
00:18:48
Speaker
And um a few a few months into the into the process, my my wife Erin, she she sent me a text and and just said, hey, I had a little picture of a little girl. um And she said, hey, i I think this is our daughter.
00:19:06
Speaker
um and And it caught me off guard. um You know, I thought, oh okay. I guess that's how that works. I don't know. um and And so we we, you know, we inquired about this little girl. My wife had seen her photo in like a Facebook adoption group. And so reached out and and and at the time,
00:19:35
Speaker
she She had been placed with another family, and and and so we thought, okay, well, maybe not. um and And so a few months later, um we came across this little girl again, um and and she'd grown a bit, looked a little different, and my wife had had asked about her, and then realized that it was the same little girl that she had been drawn to the first time. Wow.
00:20:02
Speaker
and ah Apparently, the the family that she had been placed with initially, um some things had changed for them, and and so um we we had to and go through a number of a number, we had to ask for a number of concessions from from the Chinese government because they had intended to sort of bring her back into the the orphanage system there. and and um And so it was kind of a long shot, but but we we prayed. and And again, Aaron said, I really feel like this is this is our daughter. um And we got word back that they had they had agreed to to um to place her with us. um And so, um
00:20:48
Speaker
we We ended up having to wait a year longer, some some things had changed and so on. Our biological son Cohen had to had to be at least three years old. He was two at the time, so we had to wait the extra year. But but you know over that year, we we sent a lot of photos and and and and books and and you know birthday birthday parties and cakes and you know all that we could. um And yeah, then then we we ultimately were able to to to travel to to meet her.
00:21:22
Speaker
in 2018 and we were able to bring her home. so How old was she? So she was three and a half um when when we ultimately got got to got to meet her and bring her home. Wow.
00:21:40
Speaker
and yeah really really a truly incredible and beautiful um experience. and And we got to really um really see the faithfulness of God and in that entire process on on multiple multiple occasions and multiple turns. um So, yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, we don't, we've run out of time, but we will have another episode with Tawati's wife, Aaron, because I know we, you know, we tell the story in big, big strokes.
00:22:21
Speaker
um to give a a very, you know, wide ah picture of how the story went. But we know it it hasn't been easy and it's not because I'm a prophet, I'm just another adoptive mom who knows how things go. yes And it's normal and we don't want to gloss over the whole painful part of the loss and the waiting. That year, you speak ah speak of sounds easy, but it must have been a very deep trial for everyone involved.
00:22:57
Speaker
every Every day for a child that's waiting is excruciating for us. And and you guys knew that you were going to get her. And so one of our adoptions was a year in waiting. So I understand a little bit of how that might go. um And so we want to encourage any adoptive moms and dads or people waiting. ah Maybe you you bumped into this episode because you're waiting. um What words of encouragement would you have for parents that are facing similar circumstances? Yeah. A verse that
00:23:39
Speaker
was was just absolutely foundational for us in in our adoption process, um is out of 1 Thessalonians 5. And it says, remember the one who called you is faithful and he will do it.
00:24:00
Speaker
And we we clung to that verse throughout our process and it just was such a, at every every new obstacle, every new hurdle, every new day that that the was another day of waiting, we continued to remind each other, remember the one who called you is faithful and he will do it.
00:24:20
Speaker
um and And we just got to lean lead on the Lord um day day by day. um And and to to lean into that that understanding and to be reminded, um this is a calling and this is something that the Lord has has placed on your life.
00:24:38
Speaker
And so rest in that knowledge and rest in knowing that he is the one who's accomplishing and working. um When you're awake, when you're sleeping and you're waiting and you're eating, he is working and he is moving and he will do it. That's all.
00:24:53
Speaker
Amen. Amen. We are in his sovereign, beautiful hands and the one who called is Abel.
Music Project 'Father to the Fatherless' and Closing Remarks
00:25:02
Speaker
So thank you so much Swati for your time. We appreciate you so much. And we pray that the Lord prosper everything that you're doing as a dad, as ah as a husband, as a creator, as a you know ah musician. We didn't even get to touch like the surface, like Jackie told a little bit about that. Maybe we can say goodbye, but first we can tell people where they can find the music that you led the team KFO team in producing ah so the church can sing the truth about God as Father. And this is a t-shirt that I got at Yahoo Summit. And it's all about affirming that
00:25:51
Speaker
you know side of God that we so desperately need. So tell us what more where we can find the music. It's free for everyone to use. And you guys produce the whole thing, like the music sheets and the everything.
00:26:07
Speaker
yeah Yeah, so um if if you're just looking to listen, um anywhere you listen to music, Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Amazon, you know all the places, um the the name of the project is called Father to the Fatherless. um And and we we produced it as CAFO, Christian Alliance for Orphans, in partnership with the Worship Initiative. And so this this first project was was three songs, um and i i'm I'm excited and and and look forward to um to getting to do more. It has been a really a really beautiful process so far and and and God has given us um
00:26:52
Speaker
tons more. um So I really am looking forward to seeing that continue to grow. um But the project is called Father to the Fatherless. And if if you go to the Worship Initiative, um their website, you can find, um you know, if you're a worship leader or a music director or something, you can find, um you know, devotions, you can find charts.
00:27:18
Speaker
chords, lyrics, a scripture behind each of the song that that that each of the songs that we've written and all of that is is free um to you and you can find it at the Worship Initiative at their website.
00:27:31
Speaker
That's awesome. Thank you so much for Kefil's generosity in sharing this for the body of Christ. And we look forward to having you on way more podcast episodes and telling us what the Lord is doing through your ministry and your family. And thank you for your time. We so appreciate it. And thank you, friends, for tuning in, although you don't tune anything now because it's, you know,
00:27:58
Speaker
It's streamed, but anyway, that's the language, so go with it. And we'll see you next time on our podcast, Pause and