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Jedd pt2
24 Plays18 days ago
pt 2
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Transcript
Exploring Identity and Worth in Christ
00:00:01
Speaker
We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest conversations about adoption and parenting as we lament, encourage, give hope, and explore our true identity and worth in Christ.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello,
Introduction to Jed Medefind and CAFO
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Speaker
everyone. My name is Aixa and I am so happy to be ah here again and another episode of Pause and Think. And we are so honored today to have our friend and ah leader at CAFO, Christian Alliance for Orphans, yet Jed Medefine.
00:00:43
Speaker
Jedd you've been such a warm and steady friend for me and for my family for about 10 years, because you and Rachel and the kids were little and you decided to have, you've had such adventures with your family, which I so admire.
00:01:01
Speaker
And you guys came to live in Guatemala for a few months. And that's where we met. Everyone was little and we were not as
Family's Adoption Journey Begins
00:01:10
Speaker
great. And that's right. We were a little younger, but no less energetic.
00:01:16
Speaker
Yeah. I Yes. And we were just starting in our adoption journey. And I remember sitting with Rachel at a coffee and just sharing her, um our stories and sharing my story, our journey of adoption and her big, beautiful blue eyes, just welling up with tears. And we connected in such a beautiful way. And I really value ah you guys. And I have had that privilege of walking with you in a very um you know friendly family way.
00:01:53
Speaker
I would like for our audience to get to know you a little bit better. So would you please give a brief ah overview of your story as a family and how you came to the decision of of adoption?
00:02:08
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. Well, as you mentioned, Rachel is my beautiful wife and we've been married. This is, this will be our 25th year this year. so that's ah just a wonderful milestone. And, you know, so, so many blessings, greatest blessings of my life um ah just in that journey together. and And while we our first two children are biological, we had from early in marriage thought that very likely we would also welcome children through
Challenges and Loss in the Adoption Process
00:02:37
Speaker
adoption. just in ah Maybe you could say in a simple, maybe maybe even simplistic way, but just kind of this idea of, well, if there's kids in the world that need families and God cares about them and we might have some extra rooms in our house, that that could be you know part of our story and theirs. And
00:02:52
Speaker
um And so after we had two biological daughters, we we then began saying, well, is this is this the time that God would call us to that? So that's when we began um you know praying seriously about it and then eventually decided, yes, we felt led toward adoption. And we we looked into a number of different routes to that, including the U.S. foster system.
00:03:13
Speaker
At the time, we lived in a pretty small house. It just had two bedrooms and we already had two little ones in that. And so the foster system wouldn't approve us for fostering or adopting. And so we actually you know began to ah the route to adopt internationally.
00:03:28
Speaker
And that you know had its own joys and challenges. And there was a little girl we were matched with that that we we had... She was part of our family in our hearts. And then shortly before we went to bring her home, she passed away of pneumonia.
00:03:44
Speaker
And, ah you know, so as you know, Aisha, at every step along the way, there's such beautiful things and such, um you know, painful things in this realm. But um we we knew we were still called to adopt.
Expanding Family through Adoption and Biological Children
00:03:57
Speaker
So got back into the process and eventually brought our daughter Eden home.
00:04:01
Speaker
Ooh. He's now 16 and just, you know, such a full of life and joy. And and then we we ended up having two more biological kids after that, but also did foster care as a family, um which was really fun to get to, you know, engage that all five of the kids being part of that journey together.
CAFO's Vision and Personal Alignment
00:04:20
Speaker
So we've just had, you know, a lot of blessings along the way and in this on a personal level, even though it's also, as you mentioned, kind of This is the vision of CAFO too, to see the local church all over the world being God's first answer for the vulnerable child children at that place.
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's really cool to listen to the president of CAFO just narrating your start. as ah an adoptive dad, and it just resembles so much of us normal folk.
00:04:50
Speaker
it's Because you are, you know, we step into it so unsure and so, like you use the word simplistic, and that's a very accurate depiction of how I started.
Adoption Deepening Understanding of God's Love
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I think we boil it down to very you know flat terms, and then the Lord sort of starts unraveling this whole very rich um reflection of the truth and a deeper sense of Him as a Father.
00:05:19
Speaker
What has um impacted most in your relationship to God and your view of the eternal through adoption? like What has God done in your life today?
00:05:33
Speaker
through adoption. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's so many facets to that, Aisha, as you know, and and it's it's hard to to name just one element, but I think at the heart, the very core of it for me is just this deep, as I, I mean, I remember even when Eden was really little, you know, three or four years old and, um,
00:05:56
Speaker
you know, saying goodnight to her, kissing her goodnight, praying with her, um and maybe coming back in later after she'd fallen asleep and looking at her sleeping and just feeling such deep feelings of love for her.
00:06:11
Speaker
And then, you know, pausing and I think the Holy Spirit whispering, that's how your Heavenly Father feels towards you. You know, that's His heart for you. Amen. And although we know it's, you of course, our human emotions, our human commitments are just a ah the smallest flicker of a reflection of of of God's.
00:06:32
Speaker
and And yet there is a flicker of those things. And it is beautiful. And to be reminded of that many times over and in different ways, sometimes in the best of times where, you you know, you just feel so joyous about it. bit But even in times that just really are hard in the adoption journey and and And yet when you get down to those really hard places and you have this bedrock sense both of your commitment to your child and of even more profoundly, far more profoundly, far more unshakable God's commitment to us in his pursuing us and welcoming us into his family and giving us his family name.
Strengthening Faith and Leadership through Family and CAFO
00:07:15
Speaker
And giving us an inheritance alongside Jesus, the full inheritance rights, you know, all of those things, just to to feel an experience on a human visceral level, those profound theological truths really is a gift beyond words.
00:07:32
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oo And, you know, I i cannot help myself ah from the the idea that as you grew as a father, as you grew as a leader of your own family, you grew in your leadership with CAFO and the Lord allowed a blessing over CAFO. And it's been such a grace to watch your you as a family man and CAFO as a movement just in parallel with you know growth.
00:08:03
Speaker
And i don't know if you see it, and and I definitely do, but um the influence of your inner life um and your the richness of your understanding of the gospel through adoption has definitely impacted k I love how every event, be it online or live in the big summit, which is crazy and fun in and wonderful and such a, you know, just a hearty network of like-minded people, you get a taste of the gospel.
00:08:39
Speaker
How have you seen the Lord move in that sense in the movement? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, what what you expressed, Aisha, and i and i received those encouraging words, thank you, that i you know that you sense the Lord has grown me closer to him and deepened my heart and character in his life.
00:09:00
Speaker
over these years. And I think that's true, you know, in ah in a sense of that, that I rejoice to know that God has been at work. And of course we can't take credit for that, but, but we participate with him like, like little children joining their, their father in his workshop, you know, we get to participate and we are changed in that process. And so I'm, I, so I'm thankful that you see some of that.
00:09:23
Speaker
I see it most vividly in other people in the, CAFO community, you know, and and I see it vividly in many families. And I could give a lot of examples. Some, you know, some are ah foster parents, some are adoptive parents, some are, um you know, working with biological families, helping them reunite. And but they have they have willingly gone into really, really hard things. And most of them would say, I didn't even know the half of it when I got involved, right? They they they thought they were stepping into something challenging, they they but it was they had a huge underestimate of that probably, right?
00:09:59
Speaker
um and but they And they have been through the fires and some of them are still in the fires right now.
Addressing Men's Hesitancy in Adoption and Fostering
00:10:05
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But at what I see is I see that there has been such a deepening of their life in God in so many different ways. I see it i see it even in their theology, in a so a theology of suffering that recognizes that there are many things that we do not want as humans.
00:10:25
Speaker
And yet those are the very things that are most formative that we would become more like Jesus. And they would say, Although I don't want that thing, and if I if i could have you know not gone through that, I would have chosen not to go through that. And yet, the fruit of that, the way it has refined and deepened me, I would choose that again because this the greatest and highest of all goods is to be formed into the image of Jesus.
00:10:51
Speaker
And, you know, I see that in these friends and family, many of whom, you know, I won't mention names, but, you know, you may be thinking of some of the people on the KFO board and people in the KFO staff and, you know broad leaders of member organizations and local churches and pastors and others who have walked through these fires.
00:11:08
Speaker
And because they have, they know what I think Paul was talking about in Philippians when he, when he referred to the fellowship of sharing in his suffering um And so that is that is so beautiful.
00:11:19
Speaker
and And of course, it's not just suffering, too. It's not just like, well, sign up for misery, right? There's also so many joys and delights along the way and butterfly kisses and hugs and moments where you just feel so grateful to be a part of this, too.
00:11:34
Speaker
Amen. And, you know, you ushered us into the the next question, I believe. which is really um specifically aimed at toward toward men, what do you see?
00:11:49
Speaker
Like this has been quite a journey already and you've been able to pick up on patterns and certain, you know, ah reoccurring situations. What do you think important?
00:12:01
Speaker
a big hurdle men face when becoming, when coming into the crossroads of, do we jump into foster care? Do we do, you know, ah adoption or mentorship or whatever it is that, what do you see men um struggling with?
00:12:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's a great question. And i I do feel like while every story is different, there are certainly exceptions, you know, the the typical journey often looks like ah a wife and a family leading the way or saying, I think God might be calling us to this or, hey, should we consider adopting or fostering? or And so, you know, I think I would say to our men, hey, the sisters are ahead of us in this. They're a couple steps ahead. They're They're more attuned to God's voice.
00:12:49
Speaker
And we need to be listening well to our wives or to our to our friends, to our sisters, you know, who are ahead of us in this. what i also what i and
Encouragement for Male Involvement in Adoption as a Mission
00:12:58
Speaker
what i what I really want men to understand is that they are vitally needed in this work, you know. Amen. It is there. and And there's kind of, you know, this good, strong, masculine sense of, hey, I do want to be a protector. I want to be a defender.
00:13:15
Speaker
um I want to step into the lives of young men who have not known a good father. And I want to help him understand what a good man can look like. And, um and so there is this deep, deep need for yes, for good women in this too, we need, there are a lot of wonderful women, we need more of them.
00:13:32
Speaker
But there's a need for good men in this space, too. And it is it is a masculine calling, it is a defender calling, it is a mentor, um leader calling. And so, ah you know, I think I do think that men need to hear that, and they need to know they are needed here.
00:13:49
Speaker
And as they understand that, I think you do see a lot of good men stepping up into that. Yes. And what do you think then is most encouraging to men who are hesitant?
00:14:01
Speaker
Because, you know, a lot that isn't like the typical, even in Latin America, we see that we'd see women leaning toward these hard issues and wanting to do and jump in.
00:14:12
Speaker
And then the, the, the husbands just like, you know, cracking their knuckles and just, you know, adding the numbers and saying, oh, this is, you know, too risky. This doesn't make sense.
00:14:22
Speaker
So it's like the same pattern. And I think it's just human nature. yeah But what what do you see encouraging men to lead the way in this? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I mean, there's always so many layers to this, right? and it's hard to kind of psychoanalyze ourselves as men and all our quirks and stuff.
00:14:39
Speaker
I think, you know, some of it is just a legitimate sense of, as a father here, I need to be thinking about the well-being of my existing family, my my wife, my children. And so they are thinking about the financial side They're thinking about the complexities, the what ifs. And that's that's good, right? a a good leader does that. And so they are there's a ah healthy counting the cost, perhaps.
00:15:00
Speaker
So then that's good. um But I think to both um you know approach those things with the eyes of faith, right? Saying i'm I'm willing to go on an adventure with God into uncharted territory. I'm willing to lead my family into those things, willingly trusting that even really hard things happen.
00:15:21
Speaker
are are can be some of God's best gifts for us as a family, you know? And so part of the question I think i'm in men at need to ask themselves, like for for instance, if they have biological children and they're thinking, well, maybe I shouldn't do this for the sake, you know, of just keeping things safe and controlled well controlled for my biological children is just really thinking, what what is it that I want for them? Do I want a safe, well padded childhood for them?
00:15:48
Speaker
Or do I want them to be on mission with God? And do we want to do that as a family, you know, and be on an adventure as a family? And I think women start to think about it that way. It suddenly does wake something in them. They they do want to be on mission. Right.
00:16:03
Speaker
And they want to take their family on adventure, knowing that God has his big hands underneath for sure. But we may take some scars along the way. and But that is that is far better than just a safe, well-padded life.
00:16:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And I want to thank you and the men leading the way by example, because I think it's very encouraging to men when other men have stepped into it and say, it's not it's not easy. i don't know all the answers, but here we are and we're doing good. the Lord is not only sustaining you, but like we said at the beginning, deepening you in him, which is far more, you know, greater than anything that we could ever imagine.
00:16:47
Speaker
ah gain from this experience. yeah um And so, you know, just to wrap it up, what would your prayer be for the men in your realm and the men that might come later and the men, the future guys that you'll love?
Prayer for Men's Understanding of Their Mission
00:17:06
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Because you have a son and I know that um there's a prayer, a sweet prayer for them in you constantly. So, I would like you to share something that you pray for.
00:17:21
Speaker
Well, I will. I'll say something about adventure in a moment. But before that, what I would say my deepest longing for for all people, but I think for men in a particular way, is that they would know their father well.
00:17:35
Speaker
Hmm. Because you know so many men have very conflicted relationships with their earthly fathers who even at best have imperfectly reflected God's heart. And often it's not even that, right?
00:17:49
Speaker
ah it's it's and And so um ah as young men and then as children and young men and and then as as young adults and even into old age, men, their deepest feelings deepest ah foundation level sense of identity is fractionalized or fragile because of their relationship with their earthly father.
00:18:15
Speaker
And I really believe that knowing our heavenly father and his strength And holiness and fearsomeness in some way. We're not talking about the doting, nice grandfather who pats everyone on the head but doesn't really know what's going on. We're talking about ah one who is not to be trifled with.
00:18:34
Speaker
And yet at the very same moment, he is tender and near. And to know our father in that way. and to know that his heart is for us and that he delights in us before we've achieved or accomplished anything.
00:18:51
Speaker
And so we are not going on mission to find our identity. that our mission flows from our identity. Our identity must come first. We must know who we are whose we are, and that heart his heart for us is great delight and love.
00:19:09
Speaker
And when we are secure in that and we are confident in who we are and whose we are, then we go on mission out of that because we have been loved in a particular way. And we want to reflect our father's heart in the world. We want other people to experience that same kind of deeply grounded identity.
00:19:27
Speaker
and that unconditional love. And so we go on mission for that purpose. And that's when it gets really exciting because we realize that even though our father doesn't, ah he doesn't need our our feeble human efforts, right? he's still He still, he invites us on adventure with him.
00:19:46
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And he, in some mysterious way, even I think God self limits, he holds himself back from certain things so as to invite us into things. And perhaps in some mysterious way, even says, I will not,
00:20:02
Speaker
do this until you step forward to pray and ask for it and then act and join me in it. And again, he doesn't need any of this whatsoever, right? He could do all of it with the smallest you know thought of his mind. And yet he he holds back and he invites us in and we get the pleasure of going on adventure with him. One, an adventure that is precarious, that has real costs, real risk of of of hurt and even death.
00:20:30
Speaker
That is part of the journey. you know 11 of the disciples, right though other than Judas, all but one, were were ultimately martyred. you know So there's no guarantee of comfort and safety are those things in the way that we think of them. So this is a precarious adventure.
00:20:47
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And yet, oh, man, so much better, right, than the comfort and well-padded life and ah that you just, you know, come to the end and think, ah, you know, I got the gold watch for working, you know, the same same thing for for decades. But instead say, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, even if it's in a very ordinary job, there's to be an adventure even there, right, in a mission with God.
00:21:12
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Amen. Amen.
Influence of Jed's Father on His Values
00:21:14
Speaker
Thank you for your wisdom and your tenderness towards the vulnerable and the strong, which today we we spoke to the the strong ones in in the equation.
00:21:28
Speaker
And I just have to say that for me, it has been a highlight to say hi to your dad at ed Summit. To say hi and to hug your dad has been a highlight for me.
00:21:41
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Because he is so much of what we enjoy as a community. I understand and I know that comes from the relationships and the richness and the joy and the delight that he just poured on you.
00:21:58
Speaker
So to me, saying hi to your dad is ah wonderful, you know, sweet spot for me. at summit So I just had to say it. This episode was the one that I was, you know, that I wanted to express that.
00:22:15
Speaker
Yes, I love that. Well, my parents are both so wonderful. You know, my, course, my mom moment by moment through our childhood, loving us, caring for us, teaching us scripture to such a, you know, of course, just in such.
00:22:28
Speaker
incalculable ways, her faithful love. And then like you said, my dad, who just, although no one is perfect, man, he he comes pretty close in in just reflecting the heart of our father. And that's, you know, how I think I have come to know our heavenly father. There was a smoke screen created by my human father preventing me from seeing the father, but instead a wonderful reflection of the father's heart in my dad and my My three younger brothers, we there's four of us boys, and we we would all say the same about our dad, that he has been such a wonderful reflection the father's, both his strength and his tenderness.
00:23:04
Speaker
and And that's, you know, I want other men, even those who didn't have that blessing of an earthly father like that, to know that that is indeed their heavenly father's heart for them.
00:23:17
Speaker
Thank you, Jed, for this very rich, wonderful conversation. We have seen, we've heard a rich, rich man today, and I hope you take away all the gems that are inside this conversation and you share it.
00:23:31
Speaker
Thank you for being with us in this episode of Pause and Think. Jed, thank you for your time. Say hello and a big hug from Guatemala to your crew. We love them, and we're looking forward to seeing you soon.
00:23:47
Speaker
Thanks for joining us for this episode of Pause and Think. For more resources and information, go to whosami.org.