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PART 2
1 Plays3 seconds ago
Jesse Green tests his material on Ashley again.
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Transcript
Feeling Lost in a Changing World
00:00:08
Speaker
What's up, party people? I'm so happy to be here tonight. I gotta tell you, I feel a little lost these days. I'm not sure if I'm keeping up with changes in the world.
The Hotel Bed Misadventure
00:00:20
Speaker
You ever misread a mattress? You go to dive on the hotel bed and knock the wind out of yourself. Did I just dive onto the pavement? I think I shattered my pelvis.
Inquiries About Hotel Bed Firmness
00:00:31
Speaker
Why are the beds at La Quinta so hard now? I can't breathe. Were hotel beds always like this? I guess I don't understand furniture anymore.
Awkward Frat House Encounter
00:00:42
Speaker
I recently visited my nephew at the University of Arizona.
00:00:46
Speaker
I stopped by his frat house, and I go to sit down on the couch, and my ass gets sucked? It's not what you think. Somebody was literally under the cushions licking my ass.
00:00:58
Speaker
I don't know how they got my pants off.
Confusion Over Current Trends
00:01:01
Speaker
It must be some new date rape thing. Why is anal stuff so popular? I guess I don't understand date rape any anymore.
00:01:10
Speaker
Anal rape stuff, really?
Dissatisfaction with Comedy Choices
00:01:13
Speaker
i think it's funny. I'm tired of being so bland. That's not who you are. It's not funny to me.
00:01:21
Speaker
Oh, cool. It's not funny to you. You only laugh at gift bag jokes. You're ridiculous, Ashley. That gift bag bit was the worst thing I've ever written.
00:01:32
Speaker
I laughed to be supportive. Am I supposed to love everything you do? You want to be a comedian, but your fragile ego can't handle one bit of criticism. Screw you, Ashley.
Humorous Debate and Call-back
00:01:45
Speaker
Lick my ass. See? I told you it was funny. It's a callback, dickhead. Try it sometime.