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Dinner Time... Would you feed your kids dinner at 3:30? image

Dinner Time... Would you feed your kids dinner at 3:30?

S1 E3 · Just 4 Moms
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636 Plays9 days ago

In this episode, we’re diving into a growing trend that’s changing mealtime dynamics for families: serving dinner right after school. Yep, we're talking 3:30 PM! With kids' schedules becoming more hectic, many parents are opting for an early dinner to make room for after-school activities and evening routines.

Join Megan, Caitlin, Kallie, and Charlotte as they share their personal experiences and struggles with mealtime logistics. From managing multiple dinner schedules, tackling picky eaters, and navigating extracurricular chaos, we explore the challenges of feeding a family on tight timeframes. Whether it’s balancing hunger with school pickups or trying to avoid the afternoon snack frenzy, we’ve got tips for every family.

In this episode, we chat about:

  • Why early dinners might be a game-changer for some families
  • The pros and cons of feeding kids straight after school
  • The art of balancing toddler meals with teen dinner needs
  • Pit and Peak: From organizing your home to hunting for the perfect dairy-free creamer.

Don’t forget to subscribe and share your own mealtime routines with us!
Suggested Hashtags: #Parenting #FamilyMeals #EarlyDinnerTrend #MealPlanning #MomLife #Podcast

https://www.just4momspodcast.com/episodes/episode3

Transcript

Introduction to 'Just For Moms'

00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, just for moms, Megan, Charlotte, Callie, and Caitlin. Shout out. How's everyone doing? i mean we have to For the people who can't see, we have to address. Callie is wearing your children's headphones because her ear pod things weren't charged. Yes, and this is a professional podcast.
00:00:22
Speaker
Welcome to Just For Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Caitlin. I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner again. A no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. things i'
00:00:46
Speaker
I said they look like flippy ones. They're not. They're Yoda ones. OK. I feel like that's elevated. I feel like that's, you know, that's like the difference between. I'm trying to think of another headphone brands like cheap Walmart ones and Bose, you know, right? Which is Blippi. Is it the brand or does Blippi wear headphones? He's orange. So like orange is his color. It's like his color. I see.
00:01:10
Speaker
Gotcha. And a little bit of blue with your collar and your shirt. So you really are just flippy vibes right now. Okay. Great. Okay. So moving on from headphones.

Impact of LA Fires

00:01:22
Speaker
So I know watching the news lately has been pretty hard and heavy. I know for for me and explaining it to our children, the l LA fires going on. We are recording this in the middle of January. so for like This is happening still, and this will be released a little bit later. and Obviously, we are just you know i I personally have a friend whose house is gone. and it I think for all of us, this phrase collective grief has been flying around because I think it's it's really hard to know how to
00:01:58
Speaker
Like you feel the feelings, but then you're sort of helpless and we in Connecticut are not technically affected, but we are. So I think all of us have, we've been talking offline, have observed just how complex these tragedies are when they happen. And I think we're trying to figure out ways to support and help and whether that's sending money or donations or sharing links or Or something else I think for me that's always sort of the hardest reality is that like I can't make this go away I can't fix it. So then what is the next best thing and This is I think hard for all of us to just wrap our heads around. It's not like a singular Event, this is like what do they say the size of Boston at this point? I mean, it's just it's sort of unimaginable and I think for all of us it does hit not just
00:02:48
Speaker
close to home in the sense of geography, but I think all of us probably know of someone who has lost their home or we can certainly put ourselves in their positions and we're thinking about like, what would we

Heidi and Spencer's Resilience

00:02:59
Speaker
bring? What would we do? The humanitarian aid and countries sending fire support and yes, we will talk about Heidi and Spencer for you because I think they're a wonderful example of people who are directly affected and have sort of trying to take lemons and make it into lemonade. And they've really done it in a very charming, wonderful way. i know Heidi and Spencer who lost their home in the Palisades. Heidi has a song out that's been out for a long time, but now everyone is downloading it and streaming it to help them rebuild their lives and hopefully rebuild their home. So there's almost like a, they're making like a positive out of it. And I feel like people on social media,
00:03:40
Speaker
Like Spencer's joke that, um you know, it took me losing my home to have like $2 million. fowers Thanks guys. Callie, were you even born when like the Hills was around? Because I'm like three years younger than you. Yes. I know what that is. I just didn't watch. I didn't watch that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know who these people are. I remember, didn't she get, I don't know, she got like a bunch of plastic surgery at one point. Right. Okay. So I'm going to get, I know who she is. They, they sort of, what has come to truth is that they were all playing just characters and we desperately wanted to believe that this was their real lives. These kids that were working for, who was it? Like Vogue and
00:04:20
Speaker
And they just weren't. They were just characters, and the two of them were better than most at playing up their roles as villains. So it's an it's a wonderfully um it's a wonderfully satisfying pivot that they are now sort of the heroes of the story. And they're actually together now. They're married. OK. Together, yeah. And and they're they they got married. Heidi had a bunch of plastic surgery done. They had two kids, and I feel like I'm like almost like connecting to them even more now because like Spencer's like like a really, really good dad. I didn't like realize this. and you know and it's like I saw this other clip, which I thought was it was just powerful, how their kids are like happy. They don't understand what's going on. so It's like as parents, they've lost everything, but they're like holding it together for their kids, if

Spencer's Social Media Influence

00:05:13
Speaker
that makes sense. well i think they were
00:05:15
Speaker
one of the first celebrities to come forward and say, we've lost everything. And they've relocated to a rental that his parents have. So they are you know they have a place to stay. But he was very quick to get online. And I think the album that has hit number one was released like 10, 15 years ago. They put all of their life savings into it. And I'm sure that people were sort of giving them the side eye and not necessarily taking it seriously. But he just said, listen, guys, like I'm a dad. I'm a husband. I have to rebuild a house. This is a marathon, not a sprint. It's going to take us five years, millions of dollars.
00:05:46
Speaker
you know I feel like their insurance was dropped. I mean, hes he has put out hundreds of TikToks in the last week or two. And he's been very upfront about, i I am a dad trying to make money and pay for a house. And here's my beautiful wife, single, we put everything into it, go stream it. And he has people like Pitbull remixing it and posting it. He has, I feel like, Flavor Flav reposted it. So he's sort of a wonderful example of how to be savvy and honest and raw and authentic and You know, just I think winning over the hearts of people everywhere. And it's been so fun to watch. Does that make sense, Kelly? I'm following up. Did we loop you in? Yeah. I'm so yeah i'm so out of the loop with a lot of the stuff. I feel like the few things that I've seen and and i I feel like maybe we'll get into it a little bit more or in another episode of just talking about going through all this. But like, I can't even consume a lot of it, the content around the fires, just because it i just it's just like a mental load that I can't
00:06:46
Speaker
it's it's ah it's a hard It's a hard border, like you sort of said, Charlotte.

News Fatigue and Self-care

00:06:50
Speaker
It's like, we know it's happening and we want to do things to help, but then it sort of becomes at a point where it's like, you know, it becomes this sort of, you know what I mean? It becomes this weight on you where it's, you know, when I do watch it, how much it like impacts.
00:07:05
Speaker
yeah you you guys get where um i mean I think the advantage of the 24-hour news cycle in social media is that we do get a chance to witness someone like Spencer rising from the ashes quite literally and becoming this sort of hero for everyone. You do get a chance to see, I don't know, like the firefighters from Mexico coming to help and the prisoners that are helping. and just the piles of donations that people have dropped off. And Halle Berry giving her a whole closet. like There's so many examples of people just heroically stepping forward to help and be part of this community. And that part is wonderful. But but if I have found, especially because I do, I just can't stop thinking about my friends and like what it would what it would be like. And those are the moments when it's like, OK, I need to protect.
00:07:51
Speaker
myself yeah and um mental space go make pasta for my kids and not carry this burden all the time because I don't have to. Um, I get to when I have the capacity, but I don't have to. And that's a hard line to know where to tow, you know? Yeah. Yeah. No, we'll, we'll move on. But I know for me,
00:08:13
Speaker
I've been like checking the news and like refreshing it, like especially over the weekend. and Part of me is like, Megan, you got to stop looking at it because I get like sucked in and I feel bad and I want to help. and I went and cleaned out my closet and dropped off like four bags of clothes donations. It's like you want to help as much as you can and you see these images. and it's just ah yeah It's a lot to- It's a lot. You guys, I don't want to repeat anything you said, but I was for a like a lot of days watching it repeatedly. But then there was a family in our town that actually just had a fire and they lost everything. And it's a young girl who's from our dance school. And it was like, this is happening right here in my town right now. So I'm going to focus my attention on this. Like, let me go clean out the girl's closet to help this family.
00:08:59
Speaker
and do what I can right here because I've been messaging some people who live out in California that I know that have not been directly affected and being like, what can I do? And they're like, we don't know. like There's a million different GoFundMe's going on. there's you know You could donate money here or there, but right now, what can I do? So I have pivoted towards helping someone right here you know who needs help. And I think realistically, we should all set an alarm on our phones and have this much fervor for helping in a month, in six months, in a year. Because right now, they've said no more physical donations. They don't know what to do with these things. They need people. They need boots on the ground. Obviously, we can't do that.
00:09:44
Speaker
um So I think in a, you know, nothing is going to be fixed in the next month, two months. I mean, this is going to take years, decades. So that's, I'm making a mental note to sort of revisit and check on some of these GoFundMe's or I don't know, do some Googling in six months and just see. Okay. So on that note, I know we could probably talk about that all day, but we're going to move on to if we had any mom fails this week.

Lunch Mix-up and Independence

00:10:13
Speaker
So I'm going to start, I feel like I might have a mom fail every day and I want to improve on that, but I try my best. My head spins anyways. So I mixed up my kids lunches and they all three of mine eat different things. And that's again, why at dinnertime I'm a restaurant, but that's for another conversation. So I put Nico's lunch.
00:10:40
Speaker
in Gianna's backpack and Gianna's lunch and Nico's mixed them up. Anyways, wrong lunches. They didn't eat lunch. They came home from school really annoyed with me. Mom, you mess up the lunches. They don't eat each the snacks that I pack for each other.
00:10:56
Speaker
It is what it is. So yeah, that's mine. Sounds like it's time for them to pack their own lunches. I agree, Charlotte. And you know what? From being around you, honestly, like you influenced me because I speak to my children. I'm like, you know what? My friend Charlotte, her kids like do their own laundry. They make their own dinner. You guys got to step in. I mean, the volume game is we just can't keep up with them all. But I started doing it a while ago.
00:11:22
Speaker
And like I did have to set up like piles and procedures. So it also means that they have no one to blame but themselves. Yeah. hi like kids And like you said, it's probably on me that I haven't started this sooner. So I don't know. I'm a big fan of if you if they're responsible for it, then they have to take ownership.
00:11:41
Speaker
i mean Like, if they leave their lunch at home, obviously I'm going to bring it. But I think it was two days ago, Annabelle's like, I didn't like my snack. And I was like, that's not my problem. I mean, you are more than welcome to put whatever you want in your bag for a snack. And I have three of you. So tough, tough cookies, girlfriends. I love what you said one of these past episodes about having to write thank you notes when they forget it. I thought that was such a nice, sort of fair, reasonable consequence.
00:12:12
Speaker
Yeah, I'm still waiting on actually my thank you note though from last week when I brought some stuff to school for her. So I need to check in on that because that's a little late. Well, my my mom fail is, I mean, I guess it ties into organizing. I feel like I've just lost the thread on my kids rooms in not just like I don't care if it's messy every once in a while but do you ever have those moments when you walk in and the mess is so extraordinarily disorganized and messy that you just you sort of think where did I go wrong where did I like I I lead a pretty organized life I talk about organization we have basic structures in place and then I open up a bin of toys and there's packs of
00:13:02
Speaker
gum there's glasses from the sink there's usually not old food but there's a god knows what in there and you just you sort of want to put cameras and see what is is happening. And you know i'll go up eventually and sit down and get trash bags and go through it all but it's.
00:13:19
Speaker
It's like I keep coming back to this where ... What is it? Teach a man to fish and they you feed them for life. It's like I have not taught these kids how to fish and I don't know where to start because I felt like I was doing that. and so i will I will say this though. like I was that child and when I got on my own and had to take care of my own things and couldn't find things and like especially my like being in a dorm for the first time, that's when I learned my own system of life. So it's like you just have to wait till they're by themselves and realize, well, gosh, I live like a goat. Yeah.
00:13:58
Speaker
like I mean, Eleanor turned the corner. I remember walking into her room and there was barely space to fit like a single footstep. And there was a point when I don't know what got into her, what B got into her bonnet. And then it was everything had like the perfect place and it was like magic.

Teaching Kids Responsibility

00:14:14
Speaker
So maybe you're right. I mean, I get that. You have to sort of know your own self to know how you want things to be. Um, but yeah, I don't know. Louise's room is something special right now. Yeah. Annabelle and Ailey, right. I just walked in there like right before the show to get something. And I was like, are you kidding me? I don't understand how you guys live ah like this. And it smells smells. Let's not even get into that. yeah But what last night there was laundry.
00:14:45
Speaker
in the hallway and the laundry baskets in our room. We have one big one in our closet. So I said to Gianna, isn't that your laundry from the day in the hallway? And she's like, yeah, it's for the laundry bin. And I said, then get up out of your bed and go put it in the laundry bin. I was like, Gianna, you've been talking. You want to go to summer camp and you have to be very like responsible. when What are you going to throw your laundry in the hallway at summer camp? And she's like, oh no, when I'm there, I'll know. like I just know you'll pick it up.
00:15:12
Speaker
like Like, okay. I'm like, but you can't be like, I don't know. What do I, so she's like, I know you're always going to pick it up. So I just leave it there. Yeah. Do you guys play the game of how long is this going to sit here and just leave something in the floor and just wait and see who picks it up? Cause it's always me. No one ever picks it up. I've had moments where with, with Oliver and he didn't notice a joke was on me where anything that wasn't put ah or like clothes that he left on the bathroom floor, that's his go-to move, I would confiscate and I had a pile growing. And I was like, at one point this kid's going to look around and realize he doesn't have any clothes left. And we never got to that point, but I still maintain that that is one way to approach it. I'm going to try that. That's not a bad idea. That sounds fun. Callie, do your kids take the clothes to the hamper? I have a child that does, and then a child that doesn't.
00:16:03
Speaker
She will if you ask her to. And then I have a three month old and a one year old, so not quite there. We're starting the process. um I mean, you know, my kids are still young, so a lot of it's like almost all of it still needs to be prompted. But I do try. I mean, it's it's one of those things.
00:16:19
Speaker
that it's like it takes a lot of effort on the onset to get them in the habits of doing things. like It's way more work for me, like you said, Charlotte, it's way more work for me to have them pack a lunchbox. Way more effort for me to have them put their laundry in the laundry hamper than for me to just do it myself.
00:16:35
Speaker
But it's one of those, it's like a long, a long game. But i my kids are still little. And one of my kids is a hoarder. Like everything, everything is important. Everything is significant. Like a balloon that is deflated that wasn't even their balloon. So we're kind of navigating that now. We're still at a point where after like a month or two, I can just, they forget about it. But um I'm curious about how that whole transpire as they get older.
00:17:03
Speaker
and what that bedroom will look like. So I'm the opposite of hoarding. So, you know, so it's a balance. In fact, that kid holds on special meaning to things like who am I to say you have to be, you know, I'm not a minimalist by any means, but like, you know, that you have to have less, but to the point of, you know, yeah everything can't be important. So do you have any mom fails you want to share, Kelly?
00:17:26
Speaker
Not that I can think of. I mean, I'm sure there were some, but the brain is just not there. I'm going to share one more story and then we'll move on. Yesterday, I was gone all day for a conference and same thing with cleaning up. I don't know if this happens in all of your homes, but I left at 8 30 and I didn't get back till three. And my husband was here in the morning helping everyone kind of start their day, which normally he's gone, but I had somewhere to be all day. So he had to be here anyways. So I came home at three o'clock.
00:17:56
Speaker
And I don't know why in my head I thought things would be cleaned up, but all day they were let like, the orange juice was left out on the counter that should have gone in the fridge. The breakfast was still out on the counter. I said to Gianna, you had to get yourself on the bus by yourself. I hope you locked the front door. Like these are things again, where I'm like, I bet in Charlotte's house they cleaned up and locked the door, but not in mine.
00:18:21
Speaker
So it's like I left for the day in hopes that like everyone would kind of figure that stuff out, but it's all on like, I feel like I'm always the one cleaning up after everyone. So it's like, they just left it on. I came home from being gone all day and it was still a mess. No, mine would not have. I will say that.
00:18:38
Speaker
If that would, if I were in your shoes, I would make a mental note. And so next time I was leaving before the kids, I would prime the pot and say, mom has to leave. What are some things that need to happen before you go to school? And then I would, that would be a note from me like, oh yeah, they don't know to do these things, but you're still having to do it. Remind them. Yeah. Does that happen in your house, Caitlin? Does everyone like clean up if you have to leave to go somewhere?
00:19:06
Speaker
No, I'm the only one who cleans. like the butter If I was gone for an entire weekend, whatever I left out on the counter before I left, even if it was mine, like an accidental coffee cup, it would still be there three days later. yeah just And if I asked about it, everyone would be like, oh, I didn't see it.
00:19:25
Speaker
It could be growing like a head out of it and no one would touch it. That's just, that's my house. I can't even like, that's not even a mom fail to me anymore because it's just like, it's just, it is reality. No one cleans up after themselves. Okay. I'm glad it's not just my house makes me feel a little better. Okay. So, um, I said that, um, let me start over.

Early Dinner Trend

00:19:51
Speaker
A trend is happening. Parents are feeding their kids early dinner right after school at 3.30 PM when they get off the bus. There's a lot of positives and negatives to this. Um, my kids come home from school and they are starving. Like they want full meals. I'm cooking pasta, chicken nuggets at 3.30 PM and like they're 14.
00:20:20
Speaker
12 and eight. So the early dinner for the eight-year-old right off the bus, because he's younger, works for him. But the older two, they eat a dinner when they get off the bus. They go to activities and then they don't get home till 8 39. So then they're hungry and I cook dinner again. So it doesn't completely work in our house, but I know it's working for families that have younger children. And again,
00:20:50
Speaker
getting off the bus and just eating a snack, I feel like doesn't fill them up and fuel them up to finish the rest of the day in my house. So it's like, I feel like I have to cook a meal, a dinner at 3.30 and then again at 8.30 is Caitlin, I know in your house, your girls are a little younger than mine. What time do you guys eat dinner?
00:21:14
Speaker
Well, I mean, I want to like rewind for a sec because you I know you brought this up to us the other day. You said it's like a trend and I don't know if it's a trend. I think it's that people are just talking about it more because if I think back to when I was younger and I got home from a school i and then I had to go to dance because I danced like every night of the week. Like i I ate dinner when I got home from school if my parents were home.
00:21:38
Speaker
And if they weren't, then I ate after school. And that that was just like life. like That's how it was. But I think more and more people are talking about it as it's becoming more common maybe in households where their parents didn't live a life like that, I guess. like My husband played sports his entire life. So he said, he's like my mom his mom was a teacher. He got home from school. You either ate dinner then or you ate dinner after. That was that was your options.
00:22:04
Speaker
um But in my house, my children have been eating dinner at four o'clock since they started school because they come home, they're starving, and I'm not gonna prep some like big, i my middle child was like, can you just make me a snack plate? And I'm like, no, because then you're gonna wanna eat again in an hour. So here's your meal, have it. And later on, if you're hungry, then go fix yourself a snack plate, but I'm not doing both.
00:22:33
Speaker
I know that. And one positive that I just want to chime in is if you eat an early dinner, maybe there's hopes that your kids will go to bed earlier too. No. Okay. I love that silver lining though. I love that you're like, me you know what? Maybe we can just shift the whole thing. No. I like that. My oldest is still like downstairs at eight o'clock. I'm hungry. I'm like, well, kitchen's closed, girlfriend. do You find some crackers.
00:23:04
Speaker
I know when you first pose this, we've always been very traditional. I mean, yeah our kids definitely get off the bus and are famished, so I know that reality. I've never done an early dinner, nor has it ever crossed my mind. I think there's been times when I've tried to be cognizant of having meatier, sort of protein-rich snacks, so they weren't just grabbing like a handful of pretzels. I've been better at that in the past, but I also, I feel like I'm probably guilty of because they're used to fending for themselves, I just and don't even know what they're doing. So they come home and we don't have a lot of garbage in the pantry because I know that if it's there, the kids will eat it in an hour and it's just a waste of money. So it's not me trying to be cute. It's just you know like if I get chips, they're gone. So I try to only stock the pantry with things that
00:23:57
Speaker
they're OK to just kind of mainline. And I think they do come home and sort of nibble and eat pretty consistently between four and whatever their activity is. And sometimes that's a bagel. Sometimes they make themselves some eggs. Sometimes it's a bowl of cereal. So it's not quite dinner, but it's certainly not. I mean, it's bigger than a snack. And then there's a point when I will declare the kitchen is closed. Like, snack window's done no more. And then dinner.
00:24:26
Speaker
is a little bit later because our kids are older, so they might not have dinner until 6.30 or 7, which has not always been the case. um but i can With little kids, I can i can appreciate an early ... I mean, we would have dinner at 5, so that's not too far off from 3.34.

Managing Snack Habits

00:24:43
Speaker
I mean, personally, I don't like it. I do not enjoy it. I don't like my kids coming home from school and acting like I'm their chef, like, all right, here where is it? What did you make? Because sometimes I'm not cooking and I'm just like whipping stuff, throwing it in the oven. But Charlotte just said something about her kids coming home and like making something that's actually filling and good for themselves. And I've tried to encourage my kids to do that if food's not ready and it's still just a dramatic battle on what they can have. Yeah. like I feel like the fruits and veggies don't cut it. They come off and
00:25:18
Speaker
the bus and it's like maybe because also like none of my kids, like we have hot lunch accounts. I don't know if your kids like the hot lunch. Some days they do, some days they don't. So I feel like if they eat a good hot lunch, then I don't have to cook them two dinners, but it just depends on, you know, how the day plays out. But I do like your point, Charlotte, that about the snacks, because if you have the snacks out, they're going to eat it. And, you know,
00:25:46
Speaker
but I like the snacks for me too, so that's a problem. Callie, didn't you shut down snacks? Yeah, we recently had to, so again, I've got smaller children, and so I feel like we're still, I can't let it be too much of a free-for-all, because it's still so much in the phase of, like i'm I'm still teaching them normal eating habits of, you know what I mean? Like if I let my kids have a come into the kitchen and eat whatever they want, they would just literally snack until dinner, and then there'd be no dinner, and then, you know, so we're still sort of in that phase. We had a snack bin,
00:26:15
Speaker
When I had just, just my oldest, he was very, ah could definitely just go into the snack bin, take a single snack and it was all good. Like it was literally, I had a child level drawer and he could go in and take, my second could not handle that. And so we had, the snack bin had to go up high and it had to be something only when a, a grownup would take it down. But now even that has become an issue because it's just the novelty of snack, I think.
00:26:39
Speaker
um And so we've closed the snack bin. And so what we've been doing, my kids get home, I don't know if this is on the early, they're home by three and then we try to eat dinner at five. um So I've started just, there's like a single snack option and then that's what they can have. if they're It's something that I know they're gonna like. There's usually, like yesterday, okay, we had like peanut butter crackers and we had raspberries. And so like, you know, there's more than one thing to choose from. And if you don't like one of them,
00:27:07
Speaker
That's available for like the first hour, then it closes, and then it's dinner-at. So I kind of have to control it a little bit more. um So there is still a snack bin. It's just not it's not available to the kids. And it's been working out really i mean it's been working out really well. They've actually like been sitting and eating. I think the novelty of like getting to choose whatever snack they want is gone. um But I've totally done the earlier dinner. um we My husband sometimes works late, like if I know he's not gonna be down in time for dinner at five, I will sometimes just serve my kids dinner, like when they get home. And then we'll have the snack later, like at six when Michael and I are eating. um And that works really well too. When I had just two, i there was like a good period, probably a year of their life, they would eat dinner when they woke up from nap because it was like, I just like, it was not worth, Michael was working late every night. It was just not worth me trying to like force them
00:27:58
Speaker
to wait longer, so I was sort of on this, whatever the trend is or what people are sharing, they would wake up, they would have their significant dinner then, and then a snack later, because I feel like little kids too, I feel like until my son had a, I don't know about you guys, like five-ish, it's like, theyt he they didn't need three full meals. They would eat like one or two big meals, and then like one of the other meals was always kind of a snack anyway, so I was like, what am I doing here, making like three you know sit-down meals when their little bodies didn't even,
00:28:26
Speaker
No. and they wouldt They would fill up much so if they had a snack, my kids wouldn't be hungry at dinner. and To that point, my pediatrician, I think at one point I was talking about one of the boys with him. and He said, you know lunch, ideally your big meal of the day is in the middle of the day because if they're eating this giant meal before bed, it can get in the way of sleep and yada, yada, yada. and Now that my kids are older, they just that mind-body connection is a little bit more mature and developed. and so I think I talked about this in um the earlier iteration of the podcast, but we
00:29:01
Speaker
We have a meal board and what that means is that there's just a lot more communication with my kids about what we're eating and what I'm buying at the grocery store.

Pediatricians' Meal Advice

00:29:10
Speaker
So I have now a running list of, I don't know, 15 or 20 meals that they all seem to like. And so every week before I order groceries, I will say, what do you guys want this week? And they always want, you know, they always like a taco sort of thing, but then every week it's a little different.
00:29:26
Speaker
And because I know that they like kind of everything on this list, I don't get too precious about what they're calling out. I just add it and order the ingredients. But snacks are part of that. So like Arthur, my youngest is nine and he's learned how to make eggs and he's learned how to make like a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich, which he, cause he can microwave the bacon and he knows how to cook the eggs. And that is a big snack, but because he can do it himself, he knows that that's an option and he might do that.
00:29:54
Speaker
They've learned how to microwave potatoes to make baked potatoes, so that's another significant snack. so we've sort of In the dialogue of planning, we have also sort of scratched the surface on what sort of snacks they can get for themselves that are a little bit more substantial than a handful of pretzels, um but less significant than me cooking a meal. and you know They make mac and cheese sometimes, or they'll reheat leftover pasta. or you know There's a lot of iterations to that, but it it's been helpful. and Because they're older, they can have a big snack at four and then be hungry again for dinner at 7, 7.30 whenever we're serving it. I was just to to go off of sort of what you were saying about when your what your pediatrician said, like I feel like I tried to talk to my kids too about
00:30:43
Speaker
Like how food works in their body like you said like I mean even as adults Like we're not supposed to eat in the what two hours before bed because when your body is digesting food It makes it harder for your body to sleep And then I try to talk to my kids always not that it's always getting anywhere But I always will sort of say what's on their plate and like this is a protein and when you eat protein Like ah my my six-year-old knows that like when he eats protein with fiber that helps keep him full longer So like we kind of talk about the things that are on their plate so you know And again, obviously if there were chips in front of him, heat the chips, but at least there's some discussion about it so that he can start to sort of understand why we have these sort of rules in place and why we do

Teenagers and Late-night Snacks

00:31:25
Speaker
what we do. I have a teenager and I don't, Charlotte, I know you have teenagers in your house too, but does this happen in your house? She makes like a late night snack or I don't know what you would call it at like 10, 11 o'clock. Yes.
00:31:42
Speaker
Wait, why is she up at 10 or 11? I know, I know. More on the weekends, I would say. like Yeah, probably the weekends, maybe a few times during the week, and I'll come the next morning, and the the kitchen is like a mess.
00:31:55
Speaker
she makes those um like the ramen noodles. Oh, yeah. My son is 13, and he is, you know, he is not listening to this podcast, but he is not like a, he's a very tall, very skinny young man. Like there's, this is a boy that needs to be putting on calories just because he's big. So when he comes down and he's hungry, I usually will say, what are you making? You have to clean up. And if it's not just garbage,
00:32:22
Speaker
That's fine. And that's, I think, part of him listening to his body. And honestly, my girls are not quite the same way, but I think I would have the same approach, which is as long as you are putting something useful into your body, um then as long as you clean up after yourself, I sort of want them to begin to connect to their own bodies about like, are you full? Are you hungry? Do you feel good in that? Do you feel bad in that? Because I think for me growing up,
00:32:49
Speaker
There was so much of like, this is when you eat. It was so regimented that I sort of lost the thread on what does it feel like to be full? What does it feel like to be hungry? Like we had to have the clean plate club and that feels ridiculous nowadays because if your kid is full, why would you force them to eat? And so there's a little bit of like, yes, it's not just a free for all, but on the off hand, like if my kids were coming down every night at 11 o'clock, then I would shut it down and be like, no, you need to eat more at dinner. This is ridiculous. But if it's an occasional thing,
00:33:19
Speaker
then I would say just this once, that's fine. I don't want to see any evidence of this in the morning or else. Yeah. Yeah. Or she heats up like the one minute sticky rice. I don't know. It's like these late night snacks. um But going off of growing up, we ate, and I don't know how, at the same time during the week, I feel like maybe it was like 5.36. My dad came home from work.
00:33:47
Speaker
And we all ate at the same time. We ate the same thing. We had a glass of milk. I remember my mom was good about like, you know, you had your meat, you had your, um, vegetable, and then she would be like, we need a starch. It was like a whole system. And we would eat what we were given and there was one thing and that was that. And then my dad would go back to work sometimes.
00:34:12
Speaker
I don't know how we did that. like How would that work today? i i mean I wish that we could do that in my house. My toddler doesn't ever like anything that she liked the day before, so she always gets a separate meal.
00:34:25
Speaker
then my two older girls lately will take turns on like, they'll say they, they want me to make this for dinner and then they'll both get home and be like, well, I changed my mind. And I'm like, well, this is, this is what we have. And then my husband and I are just kind of like, well, I guess we'll eat whatever's left over, you know, and I actually mainly cook for all of them and really, I'm not a dinner person unless I'm going out to eat. I don't really make myself a big dinner. I don't, I don't enjoy that.
00:34:52
Speaker
but I feel like when I was younger, Megan, my house was the same and that we didn't never eat altogether. Cause my mom and dad both worked two jobs. And so it was whoever was home, whatever, but like my mom made one thing and you ate it. And if you didn't like it, like that's whatever too bad. I just, I remember like I hated meatloaf. And so meatloaf nights, I just knew just shove it in your mouth and swallow it and it'll be over soon.
00:35:19
Speaker
Let me ask, what is stopping you from making one meal and just putting your foot down? Arbor won't. She just won't eat. And then she'll cry and and want to eat. And then she'll go in the cabinet and take everything out. and it's But what if you were to lock up? i mean i guess um we don't have that We don't have that layout in our kitchen. like I would have to take all of the food and put it in the basement and shut the door. And there's nowhere to go. And the the basement doesn't have anywhere to be put the food to begin with.
00:35:50
Speaker
You know what I mean? like She can open the fridge and go in the fridge and get out a string cheese. she can there's no We don't have a pantry. We don't have like high cabinets where food goes. there's Yeah. I mean, I guess the tough love in me is saying like she knows she can't go drive your car, and she knows you can't. There's plenty of things she knows she can't get into, so she's obviously gotten the memo that you're going to let her take food if she's hungry.
00:36:14
Speaker
And not that it's an easy habit to undo, but I would always tell myself, these kids are not going to starve if they don't eat a meal. And they probably won't starve if they don't eat two meals. like At some point, they're going to have to get on board. And to your point, making three meals is for the birds. like That just seems like it's not sustainable. And so I'm just- And basically, no, you're you're right. like You are 100% correct. I am the parent that is like, well, I have a third that's younger than everybody, and I give up.
00:36:42
Speaker
Yeah. Which is fair. That's totally valid. And all I keep thinking is soon it won't be like this. So this will be, you know, like I'll get past the stage, but she does eat a big lunch like you said. Have you ever brought Arbor into that? I mean, yes, I understand the volatility of young children and what she wants it to in the afternoon will be different at two thirty. But have you ever included her in the process and said, Arbor, what are three of your favorite meals? We're going to the store. You're going to help me make it.
00:37:11
Speaker
like yeah getting her fire, and then she changes her mind. Yeah, or she'll just like, she'll eat two bites and then be done. Which is great. Yeah, it's great. And so some nights I do do these three meals, or I just straight up am like, okay, she's not eating. And yeah I don't like, it mainly becomes a problem that like, if my parents are around or my in-laws and they're like, why isn't she having dinner? And I'm like, I don't care. should agree yeah she ate She doesn't look like she's not fed. She's fine. yes She's fine. i'm I mean, I'm in Charlotte's, but we're the same. I mean, I always provide a food with dinner that I consider a safe food. So like, if that means that we're adding dinner rolls or I'm putting some french fries on the side of whatever, something that I know the kids... always eat and sometimes they don't. I mean I've had kids eat zero bites of dinner um and that's what it is. I've provided something I know they eat that I know, you know what I mean, that I know is a safe food and I feel like that's that's the best that we can do. I mean we weren't a big sit down to
00:38:16
Speaker
family sit down family dinners like my parents divorced and then my mom was working and it was all of that but my mom like tells me the story all the time when we were younger my brother had juvenile diabetes so feeding him was obviously a little bit tricky um and so she catered to what he wanted when he was younger and she tells me the story that she was like at our friend's house and we were all eating and my mom went to make something separate for Brenner I guess and she was like what are you doing and like you don't need to make this child something different. If he doesn't want what's for dinner, he can go make, ah you know, whatever your choice is, whether it's toast or a peanut butter and jelly, like that's the the always safe thing. And I'm like, listen, if she did it with a kid that has diabetes, then you know, this is the way that we do it. So I don't force my kids to eat. They don't need to take one more bite. But like, this is what's on this is what's for dinner. Lots of times it might be something and they're not going to eat. But there's always a safe food, which
00:39:08
Speaker
50% of the time is some sort of bread because every kid will eat bread in my house. And that's it. Yeah, I just can't ah can't make multiple dinners. I'm not doing it. I'm like you though, Caitlin. Sorry. i'll just i'm I'm the sucker with the third kid and I like cook three dinners. And I feel like for me, I like stress out that.
00:39:29
Speaker
they're not gonna eat enough.

Adapting to Children's Meal Preferences

00:39:31
Speaker
And I won't, and I, to be fair, I get, we have meltdowns. I mean, it's not like I'm just doing it and everyone's like, okay, mom. I mean, like I have had hour long meltdowns.
00:39:40
Speaker
with child upset about what's for dinner or wanting something else wanting the cheese stick and I just endure it because I I don't want to I don't so like I'm not trying to paint it like yeah I do it and everyone's like okay I'll just have my bread and whatever no we get big time meltdowns about wanting something else from the cabinet or whatever and I it's that like I said before the long game I just in my mind I could be wrong I keep telling myself that like it's gonna You know, I'm playing along. Yeah, it'll get better. That's what I tell myself. But like the late night snacking. So my oldest was two years ago, every Friday morning would wake up and say she had a stomachache, wouldn't want to eat breakfast and then would vomit. And I called the doctor and they're like, she's stressed. And I'm like, about what? It's Friday. Why is she stressed? This and they would send her. She'd get to school and throw up or like it it got to the point where like she was home on Fridays for three in a row.
00:40:35
Speaker
And then I call the pediatrician again. I'm like, she doesn't have a stomach bug. What's going on? And they're like, well, what is happening on Thursday? And I was like, oh, well, she dances till eight and she comes home and eats. And they're like, well, she has acid reflux. Like she's not digesting her food. So she's waking up in the morning and she's vomiting. So I have a huge rule in the house is like, you don't eat after a certain time for, I mean, Arbor's asleep, but like Ann about Ann Eily, like there's no food after whatever hour because One of you is like, I just don't need to deal with vomiting from any GI issues, whether it's self-induced or not. But like Annabelle will still sneak like, I'll find her like Ritz crackers like nine o'clock. I'm like, you're going to puke tomorrow. So put them away. You know, you're not hungry. You're bored. We're going to move on from three 30 dinner talk. It might work in your house. It might not, but those are our thoughts. I think that's the answer is synonymous have ah a shore fire solution.

Weekly Highs and Lows

00:41:32
Speaker
Pits and peaks.
00:41:34
Speaker
So I'm going to start with Caitlin. What do you have for us this week? A pit or a peat? I am dareir very dairy sensitive, and so I don't really eat a lot of dairy. And over the holidays, like I just had a free for all. And I loved it, and it was great, but I ended up feeling garbage. So I've been trying to wean myself off. And as I'm doing so, I'm discovering that there are no coffee creamers. So this is a pit. I cannot find anything that goes in my coffee that is non-dairy that tastes good in the morning.
00:42:03
Speaker
So today I just had black coffee with honey and it was so disappointing and sad. And one of my favorite things in the morning is to be alone and that first sip of a delicious coffee. So I'm in a pit of sad coffee. No oat milk, it's tearing out my stomach. Almond milk is disgusting right now.
00:42:23
Speaker
I just heard someone mention pistachio milk. Have you ever tried that? Wow. That sounds amazing. But pistachios kind of give me gas, so I don't think I would like pistachio milk. Okay. Fair enough. Wait. Great. Can we go back one second? You put honey in your coffee? Yeah. My mother-in-law, years ago I remember was on some, I think it was like a diet or some kind of eating plan and they said instead of sugar, put honey in your coffee.
00:42:49
Speaker
It's a different taste. I kind of like it, but I was trying to avoid the refined sugar in the closet, and yeah, it didn't work. It sucked. Okay, Callie, pit or peak for you? I have a peak. I said that because I had to remind myself which one's the good one.
00:43:05
Speaker
um so we've started So we we moved into my house last year when I was like 28 weeks pregnant. We did a few little projects and then obviously I was very pregnant and then I had a baby and weren't doing anything. So now we are kind of going through the process of touching some rooms again, like our entire upstairs is just bare walls, no decoration, we haven't done anything. The walls were painted this like horrible off-white, like not a good off-white, a bad off, like the off-white that every house was in 1990, you know exactly what I'm talking about, every rental house you ever had. um So we're going through the process of like slowly fixing that. And so we painted the stairwell like a nicer white, my favorite white, and then I just bought wallpaper to do Tate's bedroom. Cause he's my third and I feel like
00:43:49
Speaker
He never got like a room. So I'm like, I'm gonna start with Tate. He never really even got to have his own like decorated room. So I just bought this really adorable wallpaper and we're gonna put that up. And so my peak is that we're finally like touching this upset upstairs that was just so yellow.
00:44:05
Speaker
Callie, my peak is a room too. Yay, look at us. I know. i am The beautiful thing about this house is that I feel like I've done a lot. But the sad thing for me as a creative person that feels better when I'm doing creative projects is I don't have any major projects to do. And so I started to kind of wrap my head around what what are some spaces that I don't love and maybe I could do something in there. And the girls, the two bathrooms upstairs, the girls have one and the boys have one.
00:44:35
Speaker
They've clearly been remodeled, so there's nothing wrong with them. you know The floors are nice, the vanities are fine, the showers are nice. So I would never just rip it up for shits and giggles. But and don't it's not my style. It's like gray on gray on gray. It's a little tacky, but it's fine. And so I'm starting in the girls' room, and I was like, how can I bring in some fun and some color without getting into replacing the big stuff? and I have just, by the time this airs, it'll be done, and I think I will have posted it. But um it was just so fun to like paint a space and put together a vision board. So that has been a nice way to start the new year. and I wish we lived closer. I have so many blank slights that you can use. Oh my god. I know I'm so jealous. So many rooms. I can't wait to see the after, Charlotte. I'm excited. Yeah, it looks cute. Me too. For me, being in the dead of winter, my peak is that I've been organizing my home.
00:45:29
Speaker
Cleaning things out. She's still going. like Come spring and summer, we are not homebodies. We are out. I don't get anything done in the summertime. Spring a little, but the kids are all in sports. So cleaning don't like every day. And it feels so good. And it's like therapeutic. And I'm just going to keep it going to like the till like the sun comes out and sets at what time? Like eight again. So I'm going to try to just do it till then. And then maybe we'll have like a clean house by like When does that happen, the daylight savings? When is that? I don't know, but I imagine you like Kimmy Schmidt coming out of the bunker with like garbage bags filled with stuff for Goodwill. I've been doing it every single night, even like I've been making it try it like it in the back of my head. Like last night it was like nine, 30, 10. And I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't clean one drawer today. So I like went to like the battery drawer and I was like organizing it all. Where do you get this energy? Cause I feel like I don't, but I'm like forcing it.
00:46:28
Speaker
No, 9.30 at night. I am in bed. Well, I'm a night owl. you guys you and cal Well, Caitlin, you're a night owl too, Charlotte, right? no I'm a night owl, but these two, I'll wake up at 6.30, and the text thread, they've already been on it. I've been texting since four for like two hours. I know. I know i have to like catch up. You also have a three-year-old, which is a different level of energy being expended.
00:46:52
Speaker
Okay, thank you. That makes me feel better. I'm really energetic at four, but I'm not organizing at four. I'm having a alone time. You mean you're not like organizing at 9.30? No, I do that on the weekends when the kids are occupied and then I like rage clean. so Thanks for joining us here at Just For Moms, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye for now. <unk>e Bye Bye. Is that cringe?