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Pinterest Parties, Budget Birthdays & Mom Guilt: How We Really Celebrate Our Kids
490 Plays1 day ago
From lobster races and campfires to balloon arches and party favors, today we’re diving into the real story behind modern kids’ parties. In this episode of Just 4 Moms, Charlotte leads a heartfelt (and hilarious) chat with Caitlin, Kallie, and Megan about childhood summer memories, mom fails, and the growing pressure to throw Pinterest-perfect celebrations.
We reflect on our own family traditions, why some of us are scaling back, and how social media has shaped our views on birthdays and milestones. Plus, we’re joined by party planning queen Beth Kingston (HSN Craft Expert) who shares her genius tips for throwing personal, fun gatherings that don’t break the bank.
Whether taco bars and DIY decorations or birthday philosophies and sibling drama—we cover it all. Whether you’re a minimalist or a Pinterest mom (or a mix of both), this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and inspired.
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Transcript
Introduction and Potty Training Challenges
00:00:00
Speaker
And even Michael is like like, why don't they just go on the – and I'm like, we've done this 8 million times. There's no child that just goes and sits on the potty and goes to the bathroom. And like all of our in-laws make us think that they just like gave us M&Ms and we all peed on the potty. But it's
Allergies and Apps for Monitoring
00:00:14
Speaker
like not how it worked. Megan, not to move away from poop, are you sick?
00:00:18
Speaker
I have allergies. Michael's got them so bad. Yeah. I know. i just took my nose spray and my Zyrtec like an hour ago, – Yeah. What about, do you guys have bad allergies?
00:00:30
Speaker
You Caitlin, right? Yeah. I have a horrible headache right now, which is why I look swollen. I've been waking with that. it bad like the past few days? The past few days have been really bad, right? Yeah. don't know. Two days ago wasn't yesterday. i have like got this pollen website I go to Today is high.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yesterday was extremely high, but I wasn't as bothered yesterday. It's usually like the day, the second day as it's built up because I was outside all day. So the rain for the next 10 days will be a nice relief for you Yeah, there's an app too. Do you get the app, Caitlin, where you can like see?
00:01:04
Speaker
Like I only check it because of Nico has bad allergies and it shows like how much birch, he's allergic to maple. And it's like, yeah, it's this app you go on and it
Children's Fascination with UV Index
00:01:15
Speaker
tells you. Sorry, when you said birch, I thought that you said, thought you were going to say bird shit. I don't know why.
00:01:20
Speaker
My kid's latest obsession is the UV. Count index. that's Yeah, that's a thing with this age group. And so so it was was not even on my radar. So I don't it clearly all of this is what is it when it's when you can catch it um like poison? What is it when you can catch something contagious?
00:01:42
Speaker
That's the word. It's like contagious. So one of them talks about it and then all of the others get it. Yeah. And so yeah it's clearly in her text chain because she's like UV is going to be seven. And I'm like, you know, that means like more chances of getting sunburned and cancer and sick. Look at where
Hosts' Introduction and Podcast Theme
00:02:01
Speaker
sunblock.
00:02:01
Speaker
Welcome to Just for Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Caitlin. I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner again. no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. The things I'll plan, the things I would say, now I get rambling.
00:02:24
Speaker
This is a nice segue into what I was going to start the episode with. So hi, everyone. Welcome. Welcome back. This is Just for Moms. We're getting worse and worse at starting. We hit record at some point when we're all logged in, and then we keep talking, and then we forget that we haven't officially started the episode. So This is my episode this week. So hi, everyone. Welcome to Just for Moms at Charlotte, Callie, Megan, and Caitlin.
00:02:49
Speaker
We are not talking about the summer per se today, but it is summer. And it got me thinking, because I think this will air like right around when our kids are officially out for summer. And it got me thinking, when you think back to your childhood summers, is there one kind of core memory that you go to every time or is a little bit of everything? I feel like I sort of have an amalgamation of everything, but I definitely have one like feeling that I come to. And I was wondering if you guys have that same thing.
00:03:21
Speaker
So I'm looking at a lot of perplexed faces. Megan, you're nodding. You're down to clown. You must have a memory.
Nostalgic Childhood Summer Memories
00:03:29
Speaker
So feel like I might've shared it before, but every summer our cousins and family and aunts and uncles per participated in It was called Camp Reese, okay?
00:03:41
Speaker
And all the family would come, bring their tents, and we would all set up in our one and uncle's yard. that Even my dad and mom slept in the tent. And it was a full week around 4th of July. And we did s'mores every night.
00:03:58
Speaker
I remember the dads would drive us around in the tractor. We did circles around the yard. We would swim in the pool. We would make up songs and play games. And it was like real childhood that I feel like, I hope our my kids have this too. No phones, no electronics, no TV, just real life. And I remember it. And I remember my parents sleeping in the tent with us, my cousin in the tent next to us. and I mean, there had to be seven or eight tents. And then as it evolved...
00:04:30
Speaker
Our aunts and uncles started to rent campers and Winnebago's and it just blew up. And then like friends would come and yeah, it was just like a big party. It was called Camp Reese and it was just, I will remember it forever because it was real childhood.
00:04:44
Speaker
I mean, that's the greatest hack too because you remember it as a kid. As a parent, you know that they were having like Bloody Marys with lunch and they were, kids were not in touch with anyone. They were having the time of their lives also.
00:04:57
Speaker
Oh, yeah. The parents were flipping them back and we were all just living our life too. And everyone loved it and grilling and hot dogs and hamburgers. And yeah, and everyone would bring stuff and make stuff. And yeah, it was just, it was a blast.
00:05:13
Speaker
We overthink things. I think that's the takeaway. We overthink things. For sure. Caitlin or Callie, do you have any core memories from your childhood summers? I feel like mine's ah like a mashup.
00:05:24
Speaker
of different little, there would be a couple summers in a row where we would do the same thing. You know, for a while we're going camping in Maine and then we're renting a house in Rhode Island. And so I just have all visions of that. And my cousins and I reminisce about certain funny things that would happen at each of these things. And I just think of like staying on the beach really late.
00:05:45
Speaker
My uncle always building these weird things in the sand. Like one year he made a plane like an airplane that you could get inside. And then we put a blanket over the top, which is now kind of dangerous, I guess.
00:05:56
Speaker
But yeah, we could fly the plane. And I remember racing lobsters before we ate them. And just, yeah. One time I called the police when we were playing cops and robbers. I got in trouble for that. And that's just what I think of is all these like little snippets of Maine and Rhode Island.
00:06:13
Speaker
That's so fun, Callie. Yeah, I don't have like, I can't think of like one memory. I feel like most of my summers that I remember as childhood were sort like bookend between we would spend two weeks every summer on an island off the coast of Maine.
00:06:28
Speaker
And so like that was always a part of my summer. And then I did, i did summer camp, specifically overnight camp once I got old enough. um My mom worked for the YMCA. And so it was like, I feel like the only way that we could afford sleep away camp because it's so expensive but I would go like to I feel like one time I convinced her to do three weeks and those were like the two core pieces that I got to do like every summer that I feel like bookended my summer really Yeah. I had – I feel like you said you had this like one – want to know what it is. it's not but it's – I mean it is sort of one thing that I think of and it's not – like we always went to New Hampshire in the summers and to visit my grandparents. So there were some consistent things every summer that were really fun.
00:07:08
Speaker
But the one memory I have that – it's almost like a dream when I try to recall it. Like it's very murky. But there was one year I went to, i want to say it was a farm camp. And so we would just bop around between activities. And these activities were so interesting to me. I mean, I feel like we did like archery and pottery.
00:07:26
Speaker
And I think there was this art studio that just had like everything you could dream of. And in my mind, this is the first time that I really learned how to make like those... you know, friendship bracelets where you would weave it or like the ones with lanyards.
00:07:40
Speaker
And I just remember having free reign over all these materials. And I had one friend who was only my friend that summer, but for whatever reason, I think maybe we were at the same camp. We learned how to make pom-poms.
00:07:52
Speaker
And so the joy that I would find going home and with yarn, my mother was like, go ham, do whatever. We would make like pom-pom families and we would make pom-pom villages and little paper houses for our pom-pom families.
00:08:06
Speaker
And then I remember making these bracelets just by the dozen. And i think you could tape them on. it would have been a book for us. I see kids do it with water bottles now, but we didn't hydrate. So we didn't have them back then.
00:08:19
Speaker
But I remember sitting by the pool and just weaving bracelets. And if you felt really varsity, you would go with bigger patterns and wider and just getting sort of lost in the moment of it all and feeling the sort of the wizardry of like, whoa, I can, I can do this with my hands and this like 99 cent ball of yarn.
00:08:38
Speaker
So it's like that feeling that I come back to. So it wasn't anything amazing, but like, I haven't made a pom-pom family since then. I'm telling you back then it hit. So that's mine. Did you make those little people too out of like the toothpicks and you would wrap the same type of yarn around? Did you make those, Charlotte?
00:08:56
Speaker
Probably. We would do them with hands yeah the two and then the face and then you would put the beads on them. I feel like I did those in the summer with the bracelets too, right? Or the clothespins, the old school clothespins that don't move and you could wrap and Yeah.
00:09:12
Speaker
Yes. I'm telling The beady animals. Remember beady animals? Those were the days. My aunt used to run a camp and it's – mean we're really digressing but I love this idea because it's just old school.
00:09:22
Speaker
But she ran a camp and there these camps will pop up around the country so it's – I don't know. It's – what is it called when you get like a franchise kind of, but the premise of the camp is that a group of kids come together and they create a village together. And so each child needs to have like a part of that village. Maybe you're the school, maybe you're the,
00:09:43
Speaker
shop, maybe or whatever. And they have to individually make their little house and they have access to basic materials. i mean, maybe they're going in the woods and getting twigs, maybe they have glue.
00:09:55
Speaker
And so, you know, during the day, they're just sort of puttering on their houses, but a big part of it would also be those people. And it would be with those clothespins and they would get fabric and make like full costumes and hair to look like each other.
00:10:09
Speaker
And then they'd find a spot on the property to set up their village. i mean, it was just sort of magic to think of how they facilitated, you know, and they had to discuss, like, what do we think we need? What should we call the village? So they had to work together.
00:10:22
Speaker
But then they also were working individually. And I just, my younger siblings helped do that a couple summers. She didn't run it when I was that age. But like, how fun does that sound?
00:10:35
Speaker
Wait, so it doesn't exist anymore? because but not My aunt doesn't do it anymore. They're probably, i want to say it started in England. I mean, it makes sense. It's very like crafty and sort of old school. But yeah, there were a couple, some schools use it as part of their curriculum because you can imagine it ties into a lot of you know, community standards and urban planning. And so I think if you were to look up the game of village, I think you'd find it somewhere.
00:11:00
Speaker
We can maybe try to link to it. I don't know. Do we do that on our social media, Megan? Yeah, we can. I can do that. Of course. Texting myself this. So I don't know. Yeah. We know how to link Charlotte. Yeah. Great.
00:11:11
Speaker
But do we, I feel like we're always like, we'll link to it. We'll talk. We don't. yeah Um, survival mode right now this time of year, right? Oh, none of us are remembering. Forget it. Okay. Let's move on from summer dreaming to mom
Humorous Parenting Fails
00:11:25
Speaker
fails. Does anyone have one they want to start with? I'm going to pull up my notes because I forgot what my fail is, but does anyone?
00:11:31
Speaker
I can. Mine's not like dramatic, but i just, ever I keep having to reschedule a kid's dentist appointments because something will come up and now we're, I'm about to have to reschedule it for the third time, I think, because I didn't know it was somebody's school concert or something stupid that's happening next week.
00:11:51
Speaker
And they're, every time I call, they're like, well, we don't have another appointment for six weeks or eight weeks or yeah six months. And I'm like, my kids just need their teeth cleaned, please. Exactly. And then when you go, they're going to be like, they have cavities and you're like, well, it's your fault.
00:12:05
Speaker
Yeah. My mom fail is, I don't know if it's really ah a fail, but I had a funny babysitting fiasco yesterday. We had our summer babysitter here for the night. And it was just like one of those nights that like everything was going wrong. And this poor girl, mean, we had her last summer, um but she was probably just like, I don't, it was probably the best, like, um oh my God, what's the word that I'm looking for?
00:12:27
Speaker
Like that makes you not have babies. so ah What's the word for something that makes you not have babies? Birth Thank you. was probably the best birth control ever. You would not imagine what I was just going to say. was like sterile, barren.
00:12:38
Speaker
What are we talking about? Sorry. So um Olive threw up on the floor. gosh. That dog. potty we're potty training Tate. So then he, like, peed on himself. And then we went outside, and ah there were Miles kept telling us there was a dead mouse. And I was like, no, there's not. And I was like, you know what? There probably is, because that's just, like, the day is going with, like bodily fluids and dead animals. So there's a dead mouse out on the patio. And it was just, like, this poor girl was there for, like, literally three hours. And I think everything that could have happened happened. So...
00:13:10
Speaker
But it wasn't her first time with you, right? no, no, no. Thankfully. But she's supposed to be with us the whole summer, and I hope that she stays. I'm sure she'll be back, Callie. You're very, seem very chill to work for her, so.
00:13:23
Speaker
Let's hope. Megan, do you have one? Yes. So I was in charge of paper goods for a class party for one of my kids. And i thought, I didn't realize parents weren't allowed. So I like showed up with the school with the paper goods and I walk in with them and the teacher's kind of like, um what are you doing? And I was like,
00:13:44
Speaker
oh, I was just supposed to send them in with the student. I didn't read like the small fine print. You know, you sign up on the sign up genius. And I was like, okay, here's, nice to see you. I'll leave now.
00:13:56
Speaker
So she's probably thinks, again, I said mom brain and she's pregnant. So I'm like, just be prepared. I know you have pregnancy brain and mom brain will come next. So yeah, that was my fail. I was just like,
00:14:08
Speaker
The only one that did it, but whatever. But like super smart to sign up for paper goods. That's a win. Yeah. The dollar store, man. Was that with you guys that we were talking about how that's like key to these signups is to get on first so that all you have to do is send in paper goods.
00:14:23
Speaker
Get the easy ones. so Yeah. Well played. I don't want to be making the Pinterest snacks. Yeah. One time Michael signed us up. I don't know why. He's never been the one who does that, but he clicked it first and then he signed up and he signed me up for a, uh, like a, some sort of creative, a festive craft.
00:14:42
Speaker
Oh, and i was like, what, what, what is that even? First of all what does that even mean? And two, you're never allowed to click those ever again. right do It's like, how do you recognize the desire to help, but also be like, you're no good at this? No, don't do that one again. don't. Step away. I got it.
00:14:58
Speaker
Unless you want to make the creative snack. So my mom fail, I've remedied it. So I know it's like maybe not actually a fail.
Trends in School Graduations and Parties
00:15:05
Speaker
Do you guys, this was not a thing when I grew up, but these lawn signs when your kids graduate, that's a thing.
00:15:12
Speaker
I assume it's a fundraiser or the reason to do it. But I have two kids graduating from one from elementary, one from middle. And so the elementary, there was, you know, we have a group chat for the girls in the grade and someone handled it and said, can get your lawn signs. And so I got my lawn signs.
00:15:30
Speaker
The eighth grader, he like secretly wants one, but is certainly not going to come home and be like, mom, get me Yeah. I just hadn't done it. And we have what? ah i mean, when you guys are listening to it, school is over. When we're recording, there's two weeks. I mean, we're close.
00:15:49
Speaker
So he does have one, but some of these lawn signs have been up for weeks around us. um So that's my... I didn't know that they did lawn... I thought lawn sign was only read when you graduated high school.
00:16:01
Speaker
No. Our town is only high school. I don't know. okay I haven't seen any like, congratulations, fifth graders. Although maybe they did... Maybe they did them in the but don't, I don't don't know.
00:16:14
Speaker
We have them for elementary Charlotte and then middle and then high school. And then there's some parents, which I understand, don't want them on their lawn because you, did you hear about the whole. Then people know that you have a child that lives in your house. So there's that whole ballgame of that part of the- You know somebody has a kid at their house if there's like, have a water table in my front yard. I know. I don't think it's mine. I don't think it takes a real Sherlock Holmes to crack the code of- I agree. Yeah. And I'm like, you can have them.
00:16:44
Speaker
but Yeah. I don't know about- I mean- The football team got their faces on signs and it was cute because they were meant to show up at the last game of the season. And those faces ended up outside the front of our house. We did it mostly because the older one was horrified. So that was just worth it for the week it was up.
00:17:05
Speaker
That I can understand. Someone might have some hesitation about, yeah but again, I don't know. Yeah. Do you guys have the flamingo thing, that fundraiser? No, but I've heard of it. Heard of it, yeah. Yeah, I've seen that going around our town now for the seniors, but there's none in my neighborhood, and we have two seniors. Nobody was flamingoed or- You should start it up.
00:17:26
Speaker
Well, I don't need to raise money for their for them, yet. Well, this is a moderate segue to our topic today, which has popped up, I feel like, here and there on social media. People have asked for us to just talk about our- our hot take, our philosophy on parties, birthday parties, celebrations, like what do we think about, how do we handle it? And,
00:17:51
Speaker
I don't know. i I fear that all four of us are going to have the same approach, so maybe it's not a helpful discussion, but we're still going to talk about it. i tried to find some stats because in my mind, I feel like the level of celebration and the feel of the holiday recognition is just much more than it was when I was younger.
00:18:12
Speaker
i did find a few stats to back it up, so here's a couple. So One industry report indicates that U.S. parents spend an average $400 $500 per child's birthday party.
00:18:23
Speaker
per child's birthday party Notably, 25% of parents spend over $500 and about 47% spend between $100 and $500. So that's like that adds up. That's not nothing.
00:18:37
Speaker
Platforms like Pinterest and Instagram, they can get the best of us. They certainly give you ideas and about things that would not like, listen, there were not balloon arches when I was younger.
00:18:50
Speaker
I'm just going to put that out there. Yeah. So in summary, and I'm sure that I don't ask me these sources, but in summary, the average expenditure on children's birthday parties in 2025, it's risen significantly influenced by social trends, professional services, and cultural expectations. While some parents opt for lavish celebrations, others seek budget-friendly alternatives highlighting the diverse approaches to commemorating these special occasions. So I'm an other in this situation.
00:19:19
Speaker
But I do just think there's more, like, I don't remember, like, we've talked about it leprechaun traps, that was not a thing. Valentine's Day, there was no expectation of anything from my parents, you would make something and bring it into school.
00:19:33
Speaker
I guess we did Easter baskets, but it was... You get like a bathing suit or something. And everything else. I mean, we did Halloween, but there weren't, I don't remember like big Halloween parties. So it was definitely when I was growing up, it was birthday.
00:19:49
Speaker
We celebrated Christmas and like maybe school parties, but not anything at home. Is that sort of what you guys remember? Yes. Yeah. I can't think of anything that would have been, I mean, if you had something, graduation,
00:20:08
Speaker
uh, graduation from high school though. There was no eighth grade, fifth grade when I was in elementary school. that started when I graduated and left communion, like a religious thing. We, there might be a party, but that was it.
00:20:20
Speaker
There was nothing. And those parties for me, it was always just my mother, like making a salmon or yeah ah like there wasn't I don't remember ever having a third party come in with flowers or music or tents or – right? never No. right Never.
00:20:42
Speaker
Never. So let's – I mean I think it sounds like we all remember simpler times, so that may be indicative of just how we grew up. But I – my theory is that things are just more complicated nowadays.
00:20:54
Speaker
What are each of your sort of personal philosophies on parties, celebrations? Like how do you do it in your family with your kids?
Evolution of Birthday Celebrations
00:21:05
Speaker
don't know who wants to go first. You want to go first, Callie? Sure. um So for birthdays in our family, we have a family rule that you get what we call a friend's birthday when you turn 5, 10, and 15.
00:21:18
Speaker
So those are the birthdays where you get to invite people over. um So I've only had to do one of these so far, which is great. And we just did it in our backyard and like had a bounce house guy and like rented a bounce house.
00:21:31
Speaker
um I kind of fell into this by accident because I never did like a big birthday when my first turned one or, and then I think he turned two during COVID. And then once he got into the age where he realized that some other kids were getting birthdays and like having these birthdays every year, was like, i need to figure out a solution. So I told him, I'm like, well, when you turn five, you can have one.
00:21:50
Speaker
And then it just, I was like, and then when you're 10 and then when you're 15 and it just worked out really well for us. Cause it like let go of all of the expectation that they were going to have them. Like my daughter just turned four.
00:22:02
Speaker
So she's been in preschool long enough that she's watched her friends have birthdays. And it didn't really even have to come up because I was like, when you turn five in our family, that's when you'll have one. So that's worked out really well for us because I think that when we do finally like throw a little party, it feels like I don't stress about it. Like I'm actually looking forward to it because it's fun to plan a party. I mean, that we can all agree that like planning a party is super fun.
00:22:23
Speaker
um But I don't feel like I have to do one every year all of the time. And so the other birthdays are just family birthdays and we still do something fun. But I feel like I lean on those simpler time birthdays that we remember from our childhood for those. So like I remember my mom would always cook us whatever we wanted for our birthday. Like whatever you wanted for dinner, you got to do it. And so that's what we do. And they get to pick whatever they want for dinner.
00:22:47
Speaker
And like, we'll make a big deal of like, have a cake and we'll sing. And, you know, now that my kids are getting a little older, like we kind of like, we'll dote all over the birthday kid, but it's, it's not really about the party really.
00:22:59
Speaker
Follow up question, because I, I have always told myself, cause we have a similar approach, but I've always told myself it's a financial thing because i don't know. Like, I think I,
00:23:12
Speaker
I don't know that I would mind throwing a party every year if someone were like, it's free to throw parties, go do it. But I'm also really happy not to have to throw a party every year. So I've never had to sort of tease apart those two. Do you, is your choice, do you think motivated mostly by finances or is it some greater principled thing about just setting just don't want to it. Okay.
00:23:33
Speaker
I just don't want to do, I don't mean with four kids, I don't want to throw a party. I don't, that wouldn't be enjoyable to me. kids parties can be fun sometimes but like they're not they're not that fun and I also like I want our again i think I I look back a lot at my childhood and how I remember my birthdays and Like I want my kids to be able experience that kind of birthday too, I think. So, I mean, yeah, finances is definitely ah very helpful. Like I don't want to spend a ton of money on a birthday every year, but I don't think that's like my biggest motivator. My biggest motivator is that I don't want birthdays to have to feel like this big, special, extravagant thing all of the time.
00:24:10
Speaker
And I want it to be more about family, like about us being able to celebrate together as a family. Yeah. Megan, how do you guys handle it? You just had, you've just had two back to back. Uh, no. Communion. Yeah. Communion and then a birthday.
00:24:24
Speaker
Yeah. So growing up, I do remember just the basic birthdays, which I loved. And I have many core memories of that in the yard playing and you would have a cake and your cousins would come over and pizza and like that would be it. And everyone would be as happy as could be. Right.
00:24:42
Speaker
Or I feel like then it started bowling. Like we all went to bowling alley. Right. And maybe a little roller skating. I remember a roller skating rink. So like that's like as extreme as it went back then.
00:24:56
Speaker
Now fast forward to today. I have three kids. I will admit I did get sucked in and it's probably because of social media with my first child going a little extreme with the cake smash with the first child.
00:25:11
Speaker
having a photographer come. My mom and dad offered to host it at their house because at the time we were living in a townhouse downtown, so we didn't have any space really to host. And um yeah, I went on Pinterest, pinned a bunch of things, did the whole balloon arch and went all out with my first child.
00:25:35
Speaker
Then You know, you have your second. you i felt like i kind of had to live up to that, just that first birthday, you know? And so I did it again with the second. But by the time Nico came, it was like, I don't know. I just didn't have as much energy to do it. It was also a cost, a finance issue of, you know, how much you spend.
00:25:55
Speaker
But now today that there I have two teenagers, I push like the experiences as a birthday rather than a party. And again, I'm like Callie. i don't I don't like to host anymore. I did when I was young, when my kids were younger, but now I don't have the energy for it. And I'm just like, it's it's the cleanup after, during, and I'm like helicopter mom during them. So I just, I don't do them anymore. So I'd rather have my kids have an experience or like, ah maybe like if they want to take two friends out to hibachi or something like that, like a restaurant.
00:26:30
Speaker
So... Yeah, I'm not really into the parties anymore. And if we do have them, like Nico had a ninja one, it's at the ninja place and the mess is left there. So that's my two cents on the whole thing.
00:26:43
Speaker
How about you, Caitlin? Well, so our problem, in my mind, I'll tell you what like I like. I like a low-key family party that usually is for the adults. The adults come, the kids play in the playroom. Yeah.
00:26:56
Speaker
The food that's there is geared towards all of my family because it's usually my family at one point. Like it would be some friends and stuff, but that's just in my mind what I like. But when I first had my oldest, we lived in the South and my family was all in the North. She's the first niece. She's the first grandchild or granddaughter.
00:27:17
Speaker
i already had two um nephews on my side of the family. And just so my in-laws through this big party and my mother-in-law is so creative and so crafty and just did this wonderful thing. And we had a friend who was a photographer, so she took photos and it became a big deal.
00:27:34
Speaker
Then her second, Annabelle's second birthday, I'm like, man, I did this big thing. Well, because I was such like, I was blogging, a lot of places sent me stuff.
00:27:45
Speaker
It wasn't, it didn't cost me a lot because all of the grandparents were like, we'll pay for the food. And then all the decor and everything was free. as long as I wrote a blog post, same thing happened third birthday party. I have a friend who's a ballerina. She's like, I'll come and dance for all the kids. So it looks like I hire this prima ballerina, but she's really just my friend that I work with.
00:28:08
Speaker
And so then we moved to Connecticut and Eileen's turning one years old and my family, like we were in not no financial position to be doing and spending anything because we had just moved up here.
00:28:22
Speaker
And my sister and her mother-in-law are super crafty. And so they did everything. And my friend's a photographer. So she took photos. So if you go on my blog, it looks like I am a Pinterest bomb, but I am not.
00:28:34
Speaker
I am, I have Pinterest friends who like to give me things and help and donate. And that's just, all of the birthday parties on my blog are like that.
00:28:45
Speaker
I hate spending so much money on a birthday party because in my mind, then you're supposed to buy your child a gift. So a lot of times my kids know that their party is their gift.
00:28:56
Speaker
If I end up like Eileen is an August birthday, she gets a better party than her December sisters every year. She gets a bounce house. She had a princess come, but she knew even, i don't even think she maybe really knew until last year that your party is your gift.
00:29:15
Speaker
So then we don't buy presents. And she has, she has a champagne taste. What is it? And a beer budget. Like, yeah, yeah. Caviar taste. yeah yeah So she wants like everything all fancy for every, everything that we do.
00:29:33
Speaker
and it's it's usually a conflict. Like I, I have to tell Brandon, like, Oh, here we go again. You know, the August queen. And she celebrates her birthday all summer because she's got two sets of grandparents.
00:29:45
Speaker
One lives in Tennessee and one in Georgia. she are She's having her first party in a couple of weeks in June. Mind you, her birthday is not till August. So long story short, what I like is a low key sleepover, put on some movies. We did this for my 10 year old. They made some slime with some glue in my lit in my dining room.
00:30:06
Speaker
They made some tacos and then, you know, it was really cute and low key. But every year somehow I get roped into some something that's not my cup of tea.
00:30:17
Speaker
That's so funny. Yeah. I feel like we have sort of run the gamut and what I'm, what I was thinking about and putting together notes for this is that there really is a pretty small window of time when like the birthday party is a thing.
00:30:32
Speaker
We're just about out of it. We, it was never a given, you know, we've had different stages of life. There's no question when I had fewer kids, it was easier and more fun to throw bigger parties and they were never extravagant, but we definitely did the first birthday party in Central Park. But that was because our friends, what you know, Eleanor didn't care. It was so we could hang out with our friends.
00:30:55
Speaker
And then when we moved to Connecticut, we had a little more space to entertain, which was nice for me, but it was still very, like, umm I feel like we did a party one year and the theme was yellow because it was her favorite color. And so that's just a trip to Party City. And, you know, there wasn't anything. Maybe we ordered pizza.
00:31:12
Speaker
My sense is it's the norm to do parties at secondary venues, like you said, Megan. And there's an advantage to that, obviously. They deal with it all. But those things start at like $400 or $500. And so for us, it I think we did like a party at Ole Soccer one year for one of my boys because they were into soccer. And was it was not maybe quite that expensive, but it it adds up. So we've we've done a little bit of it. I have found...
00:31:41
Speaker
And it's funny, I was just talking to someone about our ah feminist episode because with my kids, it's so gendered the way we've approached parties. The girls have, we've had a number of craft parties for the girls because they can sit with their friends and do these craft projects. And it's very easy to set them up. And I think because I have that teaching in my back pocket, It was, you know, I feel like we've done a fairy party where they planted little fairy gardens. And then there was one year when someone was into Harry Potter. So you could go on Pinterest and pull a few pretty quick and simple activities.
00:32:19
Speaker
The boys, i would always offer it, but it was not nearly as compelling. And I don't know that 10 boys would sit around a table for an hour and a half and like cycle through crafts. It's different.
00:32:30
Speaker
For the boys, I guess our homemade version has been one year, I think the COVID year, We had um like just a flag football game. And I think we had an ice cream truck show up at the end of it. But, you know, we had to spray paint the lines on the yard, which was fun. And that was easy. But we definitely needed like my husband to get involved and be a referee. Like I'm not doing that.
00:32:51
Speaker
One year, our local PE teacher will show up and play games with the kids and So again, like it's a pretty simple party, but I don't want to be the ringleader in the middle, like organizing games with a bunch of nine-year-olds.
00:33:04
Speaker
My favorite parties are definitely just the low-key ones. And we're sort of getting into that phase with my kids as they get older. Hibachi is a big, that hits. You can get five, what is a table? Seven kids, eight kids. So that's, you know, it's not cheap, I guess, if we're talking the finances of a hibachi table, forget it.
00:33:24
Speaker
And then like one year we took Louisa and a bunch of friends to see the Taylor Swift movie. So it sort of depends, but I think we are at the age with a lot of them when they're happy just to do a fun experience with a few of them. And that, you know, that's, so what are we, we had five years when they remembered their parties and had enough friends.
00:33:42
Speaker
So I do try to take it all with a grain of salt, but my kids, we've just set the expectation that they're you know, they're not getting balloon arches and all that, but.
Sibling Dynamics in Birthday Parties
00:33:52
Speaker
I have a, I have a really important question.
00:33:54
Speaker
What do you guys do about siblings? And well, Callie, you're not right there yet, but like, it's one of your child children's birthdays. What is, what are the siblings doing?
00:34:06
Speaker
Because we're like, are they invited to the party? Yes. Yeah. We We have sort of said whatever they want. Like, my motherly heart would love to have them all be like, yay, let's come along.
00:34:19
Speaker
The reality is that a few less bodies is usually helpful for everyone. And... Like my oldest son, he didn't even want me to be at the hibachi because, you know, or he, no, he definitely, I was fine. He didn't want the siblings.
00:34:33
Speaker
And so I made him feel guilty and we went to a secondary hibachi place, which was like win-win for everyone. So I guess we leave it up to them. I mean, I encourage them to be included, but I get it.
00:34:44
Speaker
Yeah, we're in we're in a tricky spot because my oldest, the last two birthday, well, the last birthday party that she had, it like I said, they made slime. Oh, they made in the little, they made like a salt scrub thing.
00:34:56
Speaker
And she specifically didn't want her sister there. but And mainly because she's like, I want not, I think she wanted nine girls and my house is not that big. So, and it's winter.
00:35:08
Speaker
So we're not outside. We're in my dining room that doesn't even seat nine people and have to finagle it. So she's like, you know, Eileen can't come. And I'm like, that's not going to work. And she said, well, Sloan, who's her cousin, and they're all this little group, but Sloan's Eileen's age. She's like, well, Sloan and Eileen can go do something.
00:35:27
Speaker
And so then my mom had to take them and go do something there. And then Annabelle could have her time. So now Eileen's birthday is coming up this August. and and And she's like, I don't want Annabelle there.
00:35:38
Speaker
I'm like, oh gosh, here we go. So every year going back and forth. But I that was the one question I had. and then the second is, are you a, are you an invite the whole class parent or are you a, you can pick a couple of friends parent?
00:35:57
Speaker
It depends on the party. If it's a small party, then it's pick your friends. And one of my kids is in a tough situation because there aren't lot of girls in the class. And so to invite your friends, you're very easily at like half or more.
00:36:15
Speaker
But because there's so few girls, I think they're just kind of used to the various, the shifting dynamics. So there was a time when it was all the girls are all the boys. And none of my kids had like a friend that they know Like my girls didn't have a boy that they wanted to – or else they could have. I mean it wasn't like you can't invite boys. It just was an easier – and yeah, or it's a smaller number. We've never had the whole class, boys and girls.
00:36:43
Speaker
That feels crazy. I'm not that either. Megan, what about you? So with the sister – because I have two girls in my house too – I do make Ava include Gianna.
00:36:57
Speaker
We just went through this and I was like, she's your sister. Your friends all love her. They're two years apart. And i don't know if that's right or wrong or good or bad, but I just make her include Gianna. And, um, something I wanted to just reiterate that we talked about, we just went, had this conversation in our house and with a birthday,
00:37:23
Speaker
in the experience, that is technically a gift to me now. Like when you turn 15 and 16 and your mom puts effort into getting all the friends, taking them to the grandparents' beach house and driving them back and forth, like that's part of the gift. So we just had this conversation. It was like, well what else am I getting? And I'm like,
00:37:49
Speaker
all right, well, what else do we need? you know like So it's like we had to have that conversation in our house and be like, it's not just about like material things, just buying stuff to buy. I'm so anti that now.
00:38:00
Speaker
um And so, yeah, the whole experience thing as they get older, I feel like, like you said, Caitlin, that should be part of that was their gift. And then what was the second part that we were talking? so Are you a whole class?
00:38:15
Speaker
Oh, I was... When I first started motherhood with the first, but then as a same thing, i just, my patients, the budget and the time and all that, it's sort of just gone downhill from the oldest to the youngest. And then again, I think like if they have three best friends or two they're close with, I think that's great. And then, you know, and it's like, if they just want to invite just the girls or just the boys, because again, like we were talking about too, like, you know,
00:38:47
Speaker
You go to these like princess places. I mean, of course the boys can come and I, and I've been to one where they have like a, an area where the boys can be a prince. But I mean, i don't know. I think it just depends on what you want to do as a mom and what works for your family. But yeah, it's just dwindled downhill.
00:39:06
Speaker
And Callie, you're not a whole class parent. I'm not a whole class parent. And I also like I've gotten invitations that it's obvious that they've sent it to me because it's a whole class invitation.
00:39:17
Speaker
and I don't know the way I feel about it. um Again, my kids are younger. So a lot of these are like four year old birthdays. So it's like, how much do the kids ah you know, obviously they know it's their birthday, but it's like, they're just held at these things. And I, when sometimes when I go to them, I'm like, I don't feel like that child is even having fun. The parents aren't really having fun. Like, what are we all doing here?
00:39:37
Speaker
So I find that when I get the invitation, I'm like, if I haven't heard my child say this child's name, like we're definitely not going to this party. And yeah, the one that we've done, I was just like, tell me you're the people that you are friends with at school. Like i already know. Cause you talk about the same four people and then that's,
00:39:52
Speaker
that's who will invite. But I remember the first time I did it, I didn't know. i was like, am i is it rude if I don't? I remember feeling really stressed. Like, are you allowed to only invite some of the kids? Because I felt like all the ones I had gone to were the whole class.
00:40:04
Speaker
So then that was like a weird thing, too. And then like if I got invited to somebody else's, like Miles was invited to, i don't know, make up Charles's birthday. Do we have to invite Charles? And then it was like this whole that's a whole nother Wait, Callie. So like, let's just say the boy's name is Reed. It's not.
00:40:21
Speaker
Same thing happened to me the other day. I got an evite from someone. I've never heard Nico mention Reed's name ever. Never. Right. And I get, and I'm like, you know, sometimes I don't know, or do they mean to send it to me? Do they not? And I was like, Hey Nico, do you know this boy? Like, I've never heard you mention his name. And he was like,
00:40:39
Speaker
mom, like he's in my class, but I don't really know him. So I don't really need to go. i was like, all right, fine. Thank you. Good. Thank That's a win. I don't even tell how many invites my children got that they don't even know that they were invited.
00:40:52
Speaker
I get called out all the time. I was all the time. Cause Annabelle was a COVID. She went to, she was in kindergarten and COVID. And so then the two years after that, no one was having full class parties.
00:41:03
Speaker
Ailey, Since kindergarten, there's always, and we never go. I'm like, we're busy. Yeah. Quick lightning round. What is your budget for birthday presents for not like your best friend, but just like a classmate?
00:41:18
Speaker
what How much do you spend Callie? I, one of my go-tos lately is I go into CVS and I get them a $20 Amazon gift card, sometimes 25. If it's a friend, I know they really like because one, now the parents are ending up with junk and two, the kid is excited. They can go and buy what they want. say Yeah. Caitlin.
00:41:34
Speaker
I'm literally the same thing. And if it has to be, i have to know them. Otherwise I'm not even going to the party. Megan. Yeah, $25 gift card is my go-to. now my girls, seem they're into, they like to pick the stuff out and blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, can we just do a gift card? And they're like, no, they're my best friend. And I'm like,
00:41:57
Speaker
We've given a lot of water bottles filled with Jolly Ranchers. That seems to be a very popular. I love it. That's a good one. Which is pretty easy. Or something with their name on it, you know, like if you can make it budget friendly, that's monogrammed or- I don't know. But even that gets tricky sometimes with cost.
00:42:13
Speaker
I agree. I mean, I think the one thing that I would love to leave our listeners with is that there's – like the kids don't know any different. You know what i mean? So like the most magical parties that I remember did not involve – anything over the top.
00:42:30
Speaker
Like i I think we had a guy in our town named Christian the Magician and but my parents were pretty cheap. And so I'm sure Christian and the Magician charged a hundred bucks. And the big like hoorah moment was he would produce a goldfish in a little bowl like the size of my coffee cup. And I'm sure.
00:42:49
Speaker
and every year i'd had Christian couple of times and then my siblings had them like Christian came to the Martin house a lot. And, you know, you'd end up with this little goldfish and it was just like the best.
00:43:01
Speaker
And that so I would say I think sometimes we're our own worst enemies when it comes to parenting. And we look at the social media and we see that like Janice had a party next door. And I just I think this is where you can stick to your guns and just remind yourself that.
00:43:17
Speaker
You know, sometimes the most magical experience for your kids is like, I don't know, get some pizza dough and have everyone make their own pizzas. Like sometimes it can just be something creative. My middle schooler, my daughter this year, i was like, oh God, this is the year when we're going to have to like do something fancy.
00:43:33
Speaker
We rented this, you know, a local ice cream place. They have like a room upstairs. I think I rented it for a hundred bucks and she just sat around and like made friendship bracelets with her friends, you know? So it was like 50 bucks of beads from Amazon and we ordered pizza and And it felt special and it was great. So it, you know, I think it takes a little creativity and maybe just thinking outside the box, but it doesn't, I'm telling you, it doesn't yeah require a balloon arch.
00:43:58
Speaker
What about that craft party you hosted, Charlotte? That was the amazing. thing That's the one with my daughter, right? And, yeah you know, so i think i think that I think there is something to making the day feel special and making your child feel celebrated, but that doesn't involve like a price tag. That just involves knowing what they're interested in and sort of finding creative ways to recognize what they enjoy and doing that.
00:44:22
Speaker
And I'll just add, don't look at my blog and judge me. It was a long time ago. Well, the karaoke party was two years ago, and my very good friend made the balloon arch. Yeah, but at least you're admitting it and saying. You're not trying act like that. I'm not pretending that I was you. I you're keeping it real. It's all good.
00:44:38
Speaker
I will say karaoke parties are very easy and fabulous. and I want to have one. We did We just look around. We just did one recently for my fifth grader. There was a local place, and I think at night they're a full bar.
00:44:52
Speaker
So during the day, they're like- They're happy just to fill. so it was not expensive. And i don't know, we had a bunch of fifth grade girls just shrieking in a little silent room. We sat outside and had ah it was great. we are goingnna I asked my friend Beth Kingston if she would chat with me.
00:45:09
Speaker
She does not have kids of her own. However, she has adopted isn't the right word. Her and her husband are very involved with the Naval Academy and they do something at the Naval Academy where they can adopt kids.
00:45:22
Speaker
sort of students that so they can use their house as a home. And so she has, i don't know, like a dozen students, former students that she refers to as her kids.
00:45:33
Speaker
She is the on-air craft expert for HSN. So this woman can throw a party and she could throw a clever party. So that's why I wanted to chat with her because I think she has some really good ideas for ways to make a gathering feel personal and intimate and fun and valuable without like feeling like you need to bring in the national guard to set things up.
00:45:53
Speaker
So we are going to chat with her now.
00:46:01
Speaker
So we can start. We'll be official. Thank you for joining. I already have forgotten the three questions. I think I'm going to spring. The one that I meant to ask everyone when we were recording yesterday was what are our favorite parties?
00:46:14
Speaker
So I think I want to start with that because do you have like one specific party that you remember from your childhood that was like your most favorite? Well, I think like...
00:46:25
Speaker
You were just talking about, before we started recording, that it was blowing bubbles in the backyard or doing you know simple things like that. For me, it was being heard by my parents.
00:46:36
Speaker
when i you know One year, I wanted to go to a really expensive restaurant. And so my friend my parents let me bring off friend, and we all went to that restaurant. And one year, I wanted to do 12 of my girlfriends in our basement having a movie night.
00:46:51
Speaker
And my parents my parents did what i wanted to do. Those are the birthdays that I remember because I felt heard. That's so cute. Like, I think a lot lot of parents get caught up in the keeping up with the Joneses and you have to have the fanciest party ever and you forget that it's for your kid. True. And you should just, it should be a kid-led theme, activity, party, whatever.
00:47:15
Speaker
I think that's where sometimes it gets forgotten. But for me, every party, and it's held true for the older kids that we have here at the house, we ask them what they want to do, and then we make it happen. And those are the parties they're going to remember.
00:47:30
Speaker
So for your older kids, what are their requests? That's so funny. Because my my childhood memory, and I think you're right, it started from me. we Our favorite thing as a family was to go down at the end of our town to this one Chinese restaurant. And that was like,
00:47:46
Speaker
Disneyland. We would get the poop. We would get the poopoo platter and it had the flame in the middle. And so one year I had a Chinese birthday party. And so my parents went in to Chinatown in Washington, DC. Beth lives in Annapolis. So she knows just what I'm talking about. yeah And they came back with all the little soup spoons. And I think they got a bunch of chopsticks. I had those silk pajamas. Like it was just all the little tchotchkes that felt so mad, like the umbrellas.
00:48:11
Speaker
And I think we just sat on the living room floor and I don't know, that was, yeah But what are your... That's what you wanted. That's what I wanted. And they imagined it in a way that I don't think I would have, but it was perfect. It was very simple.
00:48:25
Speaker
What do your big kids want? that's such This is a fun insight into the... What are they, Xennials? It's almost always food-related. Oh, great. So um one, for the under-21 crowd...
00:48:36
Speaker
We have done um make your own pizza parties. Oh, fun. We did a cookie decorating class for one of our girls. That seems so obvious, but of course, so fun. Right? And I never would have thought about it, but that's what she asked for. And we have a friend here who does them.
00:48:52
Speaker
And it was, they had the time of their lives. We've had DIY taco bars, like taco nacho bars, where we have every topping under the sun. Because we live on the water, depending on the time of year, a lot of the kids want to just have a cool food-related activity and then be outside.
00:49:09
Speaker
But we also, one of our boys, when he turned, I think, 19, we had a game night with their friends, and it was, you know, Cards Against Humanity. Sure.
00:49:20
Speaker
ah Yeah. But also Pencil Nose, if you've never heard of it, which is an amazing game that people of all ages can play. And so it's always food themed. And then sometimes they have an idea after. Sometimes they just want to watch movies with the older kids. We've had every. So we're on our like 13th child that has turned 21 while they've been at our house.
00:49:44
Speaker
And and so instead of them going out in town and going to some weird bar, we did a bourbon tasting. We've done a couple of bourbon tastings. We've done a couple of beer tastings. Cause you know, kids don't know. Do I like IPAs? Do I like Shandies? Do I like Porters?
00:49:59
Speaker
yeah So it, and it's, they can, Have some cocktails here at the house, but we know where they are. You know, we are like their actual parents. We know where they are. If they have too much to drink, we can help help with that.
00:50:13
Speaker
But it's it's always food related. And then for the older kids, it's some sort of alcohol themed, which is fine. I'd much rather them do it here. That's too cute. I've already talked on the podcast about my mentor group or that my mastermind group.
00:50:31
Speaker
Yes. Guys, this is Beth. She's the evil genius behind the mastermind group. I love a mastermind group. And so but that lends me to my next question, which is what is your personal
Tips for Stress-Free Party Planning
00:50:43
Speaker
philosophy? I feel like you have a lot of practice and I've picked up some wonderful, just basic, not like specific tips per se, but what is your party philosophy overall?
00:50:52
Speaker
Do what's going to make you happy. you the host or hostess, and just have fun with it and include as many people as you can. that's sort Those are sort of my three, because i think again, with these parties where people go all out and spend thousands of dollars, are they having a good time?
00:51:11
Speaker
Like, I want to have a good time. If I'm throwing a party for someone, if I'm throwing a party for our neighbors, I want to have a good time and I want them to have a good time. So don't let the theme of it lose the purpose, which is to be together.
00:51:25
Speaker
You and I have talked privately in our own lives about how much people miss community. And doing things together and parties are the perfect way to spend time with people.
00:51:39
Speaker
And so don't get lost in the craziness of it. Right. um Unless that brings you joy, because I think both of us love a the creativity that goes into it because it's sort of our love language. But I think that's such a good.
00:51:53
Speaker
point is yeah if you're having fun putting it on. Yes, it can. You know, you can be like, oh I'm going to make something creative and then bam. Yeah. All of a sudden you are having the worst. of Also, as you already know, my number one philosophy is name tags.
00:52:07
Speaker
And. I think even for little kids parties, obviously, so we have neighborhood parties here at the house probably four times a year. And so when it's all adults, obviously, name tags are no brainer. But I even think for kids parties, because we've had a couple of little kid parties over here,
00:52:24
Speaker
Parents may not know each other. And so if parents are coming to these parties, it's such a great way to help parents make friends also. But it's so hard if you've met Sally down the street twice at the bus stop and you can't remember her name.
00:52:38
Speaker
There's that awkwardness. You feel like an asshole. immediately dissipated when Sally has her name right on her chest. I agree. And this lends itself to the last question where I know you are going to have some specific tips.
00:52:50
Speaker
What are some ways that you approach parties so that they are fun for you, they're not totally stressful, they're not just breaking the budget, but they're still fun and inclusive? Yeah.
00:53:01
Speaker
Store-bought, store-bought, store-bought. You do not have to hand-make every dip. You do not have to, for example, when we have taco night, you can buy the little or big containers of like the pre-marinated pork.
00:53:19
Speaker
You can just buy those. You don't have to go get a pork butt, cook it, marinate it. You don't have to do all those things. No one's going to go, you know, this pork would have been a lot better if you have spent 12 hours cooking in your crock pot. That party at the Kingston's would have been great, except for the pork butt.
00:53:35
Speaker
Whatever you can buy from the store, do it. Make your life easier. It doesn't have to be homemade. You know, brownie mix with a little frosting slapped on top of it is fine. and Whatever.
00:53:48
Speaker
If your love language is making cakes, great. If it's not, store-bought is fine. don't Don't let that drag you down. And also it goes back to do what you're going to be happy with.
00:53:58
Speaker
You know, I love a cheese board. ah You know, i love a taco bar. Serve food, have activities, things that you will use on your own after, because then you're not spending, if you do spend $500 on a party and you only go through $200 worth of food,
00:54:15
Speaker
You have the $300 you can just put in your cabinet, put in your freezer. Just make it easy on yourself. You can, listen, you can live off a DIY taco bar for like weeks. Oh, a long time. Well, we, I mean, we blabbered on forever. And I think we were saying how we don't, all of us don't throw parties for our kids every year. And I was saying how for me, I sort of tell myself it's financial.
00:54:35
Speaker
And then Callie was like, i just don't want to throw a party every year, which is sort of what you're saying, which is. You know, parties should be fun for everyone. It shouldn't be like a forced march. And I think that's a really important thing to remember because for someone, ah big elaborate party where you're spending thousands, it might bring them a lot of joy and that's great.
00:54:53
Speaker
But you just have to be honest with yourself because I just want to sit and eat cheese and talk to my friends. ah Correct. and um And also, like I go back to, again, my one of my favorite memories as a kid, it was one friend.
00:55:04
Speaker
And we went out to a really nice dinner because I'd seen the restaurant on TV or seen read about it in a magazine or something. And I wanted that as opposed to a party. And my parents listened.
00:55:15
Speaker
And we did it. And it was something I i mean, that was almost 35 years ago. And I still remember it cute And so you don't have to do the parties. Do what your kids want to do.
00:55:26
Speaker
yeah And it'll make you happy because they're happy. I love that.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:55:30
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you, my friend. I appreciate you joining us and Just for Moms.
00:55:36
Speaker
And we're back. What do we end with? Pits and peaks, right? Yes. always Megan, what's your pit? Do you pit or peak? I have a peak. I took a comedy class over the weekend to help improve my joke skills for for all of you.
00:55:54
Speaker
and it was, I learned a lot. It's something that I've ah wanted to do for a while. And we have the New York Comedy Club here in Stanford and it was three hours and it was cool. I went with a friend and learned some tips and yeah, that takes a lot of work getting up there and all the prep and the practice before and memorization and actually like being funny, you know, like there were some people that thought they were funny and I was just like, oh man, I hope I'm not like that. But yeah. Wait, what's one tip you can, can you remember any, what's one tip you came away with?
00:56:23
Speaker
So the details of the joke, like mine were like short and sweet. And that was one of the tips was like, You need to like detail into the hook um rather than just banging them out because then, you know, it story tells and you're, you know, having someone listen to it. So that was one of the tips. I like that.
00:56:47
Speaker
Do you guys know who David Sedaris is, the writer? Yes. Yes. he i just listened to him. He was in Westport last night, and I went with a girlfriend. And he reads, he writes, I think his earlier books were a little bit more cohesive, but mostly he just writes short stories and essays. But he is an example of...
00:57:03
Speaker
like details and intonation and tone. And that's funny that you did this comedy class and I just heard it. Tone was another one, Charlotte, like over the top, like same thing. Like when you're like yelling, pull the mic away and really yell like stuff like that. So it was, yeah, it was cool. I mean, that's cool I was probably cringe, but whatever.
00:57:24
Speaker
We'll come to your first standup. I love that. I think it's cool that you did it. Know about that, but thanks. Caitlin, do you have a peak or a pit? I actually have a pit. I'm, I'm, I've talked about my obsession with certain books and series. And I swear I said this two weeks ago, I didn't want the last book in the series that I'm reading to end.
00:57:43
Speaker
And I still don't want it to end where I read like three pages every night and I'm just holding it close to my heart. And last night I realized that there's only like 20 pages left and I'm just really sad.
00:57:55
Speaker
Cause when it's over, it's over. I would stay up until four in the morning to finish. thought you were going to say animals. thought so too. Oh, I got lots of animal stories, but no. Callie, do you have peak or a pit?
00:58:07
Speaker
Mine's sort of like ah a pit and a peak. where i can't remember if I said this while we're recording if I just said it to you guys offline, but we're in the middle of potty training my two-year-old, which is like, it's not like fun. Nobody's going like, potty training's fun.
00:58:19
Speaker
But it's also a peak because like it's a big milestone for him. and I don't like don't hate it. you know it's just It's a lot of effort at the beginning, but there's something kind of endearing about doing it and knowing that the diapers are going to be gone is great. only have one child in diapers left, but you know, I've had to clean up a lot pee. So yeah, we get real comfortable, real comfy with the body fluids.
00:58:42
Speaker
So I have a peak slash pit. There are two different things that happened. One is sort of a peak. One's a pit. We have, I'm really into my garden this year and we have one tree out back that when we moved into this house four or five years ago, the tree was had signs of a fungus or a virus, whatever trees get.
00:59:00
Speaker
But every year it would come back and it would look fine. And so it was like, whatever. This year, it just, it didn't come back. You can see the gunk on the branch. It's gross. So I had to cut it down and it's not a huge tree. And I have a little chainsaw that I feel very comfortable with.
00:59:16
Speaker
And so I had my son, Oliver, who's like six two Like I needed his help so that branches wouldn't come crashing down onto my plants. And so he was a big help. And I love that he's old enough to help and he wants to make money so we can buy some stupid thing.
00:59:30
Speaker
So he helped me and we took out the tree. So that's amazing. Here's the pit. as I mentioned, Oliver wants to make money. So that's amazing. So I was taking Louisa to a lacrosse game. And so I texted him and I was like, hey, buddy, if you want to make some money, i have a bunch of mulch, like bags of mulch. If you want to start weeding the back bed and put mulch down, that would be a big help.
00:59:52
Speaker
Sure. I said, don't i mean, you can see where this is going. I was like, anything under the trees is fair game. Most of the stuff along the border I've planted, but just shoot me a picture if you have any questions. So I'm watching lacrosse. Every once in a while, a picture would pop up and I'd say, no, keep, no, keep, no, keep.
01:00:08
Speaker
I came back and I came right into the tree removal. So I didn't really, know, he was like, I'm gonna take a break from weeding. I'm pretty tired. And after we'd removed the tree, i look to the back bed and I see,
01:00:22
Speaker
i I don't know, five square feet. Like he's dumped two bags of mulch. And I was like, oh. And that's the only part that he's weeded. And I was like, wait, buddy, how long were you working back there? And he was like like, I don't know, when did you text me until you got home? So like two or three hours he's back there.
01:00:39
Speaker
And I'm telling you, it's maybe the size of my desk. Like there is no evidence that this child has been back there, but he's honest. Like he's not... He was like, yeah, everything was so hard to pull out. I just couldn't get... He's pulled out every single pachysandra that I have planted in that back bed. It's taken years to... Like, I planted pachysandra so it would spread and take over so then I don't have to weed.
01:01:02
Speaker
and Like, I can't blame him because he was like, no, they looked like weeds. They looked like all the others. I can't blame him. I mean, he's weeded the back bed. And so in theory, he should know.
01:01:13
Speaker
But those are real hard to pull out. Like now I get So now I have four flats of Pakisandra to replant into my back bed. So that's my pit. That's so I need anyone to do yard work.
01:01:26
Speaker
I got a guy. I feel really proud. I know what Pakisandra is because as I was walking out of my friend's house just three days ago, she goes, And look at my pack of Sandra over here. And I was like, who's Sandra? She's like, no, my plants. It's called pack of Sandra.
01:01:40
Speaker
it's There's nothing special about it other than it does well in shady. Like this is my back bed and i just want something that will take over. Like I want something invasive and permissible that'll take over and like won't let any weeds grow.
01:01:56
Speaker
And this is the- It does look a little like a weed though. Fair enough. I mean, they all agree. Yeah. Anyway. I mean, it's not when it has a – I mean, I get it though. Like if I were high school boy, I wouldn't know that was a flower. he has no business.
01:02:09
Speaker
But anyway, so that that's that. All right, guys. Well, thank you for – we're all over the place, but thank you for listening to us. We love getting all of your comments except for those few insecure men that were commenting on our YouTube reels about the feminist.
01:02:26
Speaker
But – but Just about all of you. Lovely. we love hearing from you. Keep emailing us and DMing us because we love getting your ideas for future shows and topic ideas.
01:02:38
Speaker
We love seeing your reviews and we just love knowing that you guys are out there listening. So thanks again. Bye. Bye.
01:02:48
Speaker
I've been waiting five days to explain how you make me feel inside.