Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Wisdom in Relationships Episode 47
28 Plays1 day ago
In this episode Danny and Shane discuss how to have a biblical perspective on relationships. They discuss some difficult questions and share some of their personal shortcomings and struggles in relationships.
MVF Sermon -
Scripture Reference - Mainly proverbs, we jumped around a lot.
Recommended
Transcript
Episode Introduction & Personal Updates
00:00:32
dprice171
hey everybody, welcome to episode 47 of the Table Talk Discussions podcast. We're recording a little late on Tuesday. Really excited for this episode um to bring to you guys. I actually missed this. So I missed a sermon. I had to listen to it on the fly kind of, you know, today and between today and yesterday, just I've been super busy. I was sick on Sunday, so I didn't go to church.
00:00:54
dprice171
um Just a lot going on recently. We're actually doing a zipline training up at camp, which is really cool. And we all get we're all getting certified by this other company. But it was a lot more than I bargained for. It's literally 40 hours of training plus testing on the on the back end of it.
00:01:08
dprice171
so
00:01:08
Shane
Okay. And Danny, tell them how long the zip line is.
00:01:12
dprice171
the zip line uh it's like 20 feet long so it's like you know you get like it's like uh it's like ah about a third of a mile long so it's it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty long um no it's awesome yeah so you get you get going pretty fast i think top speed is like 45 miles an hour So today we learned how to hand break with ah a leather glove in like an emergency, not an emergency event, but like as a guide, like you're, there's certain things you're allowed to do that other people aren't.
00:01:21
Shane
so awesome. yeah I can't even wait to do that.
00:01:30
Shane
It's going be great.
00:01:38
dprice171
So normally there's this whole braking system that activates when you get to the end, but just in case you need to be able to get down without that
Handling Mistakes in New Relationships
00:01:45
dprice171
system. So we've learned how to break in the rain while it's like dumping rain today.
00:01:49
dprice171
Um, had break with the leather glove. that was fun.
00:01:51
Shane
That's cool.
00:01:51
dprice171
Um, so yeah, really good. But anyways, been busy. So how about you, Shane? What's going on with you?
00:01:57
Shane
The fun part of your job. What was that know um Great Sunday.
00:01:59
dprice171
Oh, I know. No, how have you been? What's going on with you?
00:02:04
Shane
And then, um yeah, um just got took the grandkids fishing on Sunday evening evening and had some fun doing that.
00:02:15
Shane
And then got bit back to it Monday. I just finished writing the the bulk of this week's sermon. So, um yeah, got it.
00:02:23
dprice171
Hmm. Is it hard for you? i guess I've never really talked about this. Is it hard for you looking back on the old sermon when you're already trying to look forward a little bit to the next sermon or does it help or is it good?
00:02:34
Shane
um Yeah, it' it I get them confused sometimes. Like I have to, my brain, especially when we're doing something like this and it's Proverbs and a lot of them kind of like just over, there's overlapping themes.
00:02:38
dprice171
so
00:02:43
dprice171
Yeah.
00:02:46
Shane
Then I do get totally confused about what what I was actually talking about last week versus working on this week.
00:02:50
dprice171
Yeah.
00:02:52
Shane
So, but it's all good.
00:02:52
dprice171
It all blurs together.
00:02:54
Shane
It's all good. It's just more reinforcement for me. I like it.
00:02:57
dprice171
Good. Well, awesome. um Again, you know, we really encourage you guys listening to the sermon first, or at least, you know, coming in in from Sunday. Hopefully this gives a little bit more clarification on things. And yeah, we'll get into it. So um I had just a bunch of random anonymous questions that I had because I didn't really have a whole lot of time to
Managing Relationships During Personal Changes
00:03:17
dprice171
come up with my own questions. I have more topics that we're going to go through later. um I have a couple of listener questions, and then we have some topics we're just going tackle. So not really a question attached to them, just more of an idea so you guys know what to expect.
00:03:28
dprice171
So first question I had was, if you were starting a new relationship and you say or do the wrong slash uncool thing, what are some wise ways to move forward?
00:03:39
dprice171
So you're going into a relationship, you say something that's that's wrong, obviously, or uncool, as this question says, what are some ways some wise ways to move forward?
00:03:49
Shane
um Yeah, that's actually a great question. um And yeah the first thing I would do say is, and it was actually kind of, it was one of the points on Sunday is forgiveness and confession.
00:04:02
Shane
You know, um man, when you've done something uncool to somebody, something you just, you regret, just, just apologize. Um, and you know, sometimes they might even have not have realized you did it, you know, um, but still just apologizing.
00:04:17
dprice171
Hmm.
00:04:20
Shane
it I think it goes a long way and, um, hopefully they have the maturity to accept your apology and your confession.
00:04:22
dprice171
Hmm.
00:04:29
Shane
Um, and, you know, try to think through like specifically, you know, in an apology, I always try to say, be specific and clear, um, about what you're apologizing for. And then hopefully they're going to have the maturity to accept it, you know? And and if not, sometimes there's nothing you can do. Some people are not, um, willing to move forward and, you know, you just have to trust God in that, that they're going to move forward, especially if it's a newer relationship, you know, but,
00:05:01
Shane
ah people write off relationships pretty quick and pretty easy. I think someone with much maturity would see that and go, wow, that's, that's pretty cool. This is probably a person I want to be friends with.
00:05:13
Shane
So hopefully, hopefully that's the kind of person you're dealing with, you know?
00:05:13
dprice171
Yeah.
00:05:17
dprice171
No, that's that's really good. Yeah, i would I would totally agree. I think if you're if you're older, um people might have more experience with this. But if you're if this is someone who's younger or teenage years, I think it's it's definitely a marker of maturity.
00:05:30
dprice171
But
Maintaining Friendships Amidst Personal Growth
00:05:31
dprice171
sometimes friends might might not be ready for this.
00:05:31
Shane
Yep.
00:05:33
dprice171
And I think this... I've seen this with ah you know talking to Hannah and then other teenagers I've talked to that are a little bit more mature for their age. um you know I know Hannah has had had experiences when she was younger. um Sometimes you...
00:05:45
dprice171
do something mature and you ask for forgiveness, and another person's like, what are you even talking about? Like, it's weird to them to act more like an adult.
00:05:51
Shane
Yep.
00:05:51
dprice171
And sometimes people will distance themselves from you because you're acting a little bit more mature and you're not playing the high school drama or whatever.
00:05:58
Shane
Yeah.
00:05:59
dprice171
So for an older person, hopefully they recognize it. But sometimes younger people are just like, what?
00:06:03
Shane
Thank
00:06:03
dprice171
Oh, this is weird. Why are you apologizing? Like, that's, you know, I'm not saying that's always going to be the case, but I've heard stories and I've seen that, know, firsthand just with, you know, my camp experience with, you know, managing a lot of younger kids and college students.
00:06:16
dprice171
And it it definitely is not common to have that response. And so some people don't know how to act when they see that. So just as a, like a fair warning.
00:06:22
Shane
Yeah. And I would say, you know, if, if it is, hopefully they are someone who's mature enough, but I totally agree with you. They oftentimes that age, at younger ages, they're not. Um, I mean, also even some adults aren't, but, um, but you know, if I don't know how how young the the age of the person asking is, but you know, sometimes it you know, if it's something you can get your parents involved with at a level where they, they help through it. um Sometimes, sometimes that can help.
00:06:53
Shane
um You know, I know I've walked my kids through those hard conversations cause you know, it's new to you too. You know, you don't, you don't know how to, how to do it.
00:07:01
dprice171
Right.
00:07:02
Shane
So that's how you learn. You learn by um being mentored and walking through it with people who care about you. So.
00:07:10
dprice171
Yeah, well that's really good. Can I tweak this question just a little bit to see how you respond to to a slightly different question?
00:07:15
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:17
dprice171
how do you navigate a relationship um when you are going through some change and maybe you started off this relationship in a certain way?
00:07:27
dprice171
Maybe you were foolish and you start growing up a little bit, or maybe you you were,
Dealing with Mother's Day Pressure
00:07:32
dprice171
let's say extreme example. I was partying and drinking and doing drugs and I was living kind of a wildlife and I met Jesus and I kind of came, I'm starting to come out of that, but people, certain people still have a certain view of me.
00:07:42
Shane
and
00:07:45
dprice171
how do I wisely explain where I'm at now and kind of move forward with the relationship then? It's a little, it's similar, but it's little different question.
00:07:52
Shane
Yeah, that's hard, man. um And especially when you're younger. um You know, when we're young, we think the friendships we have are going to be forever, you know? um And, you know, i maybe I was different, but by the time I was like 25, there were maybe three people that I was friends with in high school that I still talked to.
00:08:04
dprice171
Yeah.
00:08:12
Shane
And by the time I was 35, there was one. um
00:08:16
dprice171
Yeah.
00:08:16
Shane
so um you know, kind of understanding, not putting the relationships as more important than they are is kind of helpful because the truth is if you're changing and you're letting, and Christ is changing you, those people are either going to listen to you when you talk about him or, you know, ask questions about the changes they see in you, or they're going to move on anyway.
00:08:40
Shane
Um, most of them. Um, so you just getting that you're, you know, those, those relationships just might not always be there, but, um, Then, um you know, I think we have to, when we give our life to Christ and we're, you know, he makes an old creation new, um you know, we've got to accept that.
00:09:06
Shane
we're going to be on a different path. And so we, we share our faith with friends. um We do our best to be an example of Christ to them, but um as they start to go if they continue going in the same direction and, and you sense that it, it's a temptation to you, i think at some level you got to start filling that void with, with other Christ following friends, you know, um and, and then still pray that God gives you opportunity to reach people, but, But don't let yourself be pulled down um because you're, you know, because you're unwilling to let go of a couple of relationships.
00:09:29
dprice171
Yeah.
00:09:43
Shane
So, and obviously in love and grace, you know, you don't go to those people go hey, I'm going to stop being in friends
00:09:43
dprice171
Yeah. yeah and i did ah
Teen Relationship Management
00:09:49
Shane
of you because you drink too much.
00:09:49
dprice171
sosss
00:09:50
Shane
You know, you just, you know, you just slowly, or or maybe it has to be quicker if you have a like a problem with it or something. But, but you know, try try to do it as graciously and lovingly as you can.
00:10:03
Shane
No judgment, you know.
00:10:03
dprice171
Right. Yeah. I think you met, you made a great point in the sermon. loved how you, at least in the second service, the one that I listened to, um just talking about how you kind of become the people that you're around and your five closest friends is a very good picture of who you might be.
00:10:15
Shane
yep
00:10:19
dprice171
I'm, I like look at myself and look at my five closest people. I'm kind of, kind of counting Hannah there too with that, but I'm like yeah, I, I can see how that is pretty accurate as far as my friends go. um And so just that was a, you know, if that that's a wake up call for you, that was, you know, kind of it was cool for me because I really like and I really look up to the five people that I'm closest to.
00:10:38
dprice171
And I'm like, that's awesome.
00:10:39
Shane
Mm-hmm.
00:10:39
dprice171
Good. But if you're looking at that situation and you're like, oh I don't like who the my five closest friends are.
00:10:46
Shane
yeah
00:10:46
dprice171
I don't want to end up like maybe that's a rude way to say that. But truly, if you're looking at that, you're like, they're not following Christ. They're doing this. They're doing all these things. I'm, huh. Interesting. Like i'm I'm kind of on that trajectory.
00:10:58
dprice171
That's something just to think about. Yeah.
00:10:59
Shane
Yeah. And you might not even be, you might actually really like them. You just don't like the path they're heading down, you know, and that's the hard part, man.
00:11:06
dprice171
Yes, yes.
00:11:09
Shane
You, there, there's some people I, I really like, I like, and I actually really like hanging out with them. They're fun to hang out with, but, but they, I noticed they pull me in the, you know, I pull in the wrong directions when I hang out too much.
00:11:16
dprice171
Yeah, yeah.
00:11:23
dprice171
Yeah, that's a good point. And there's certain people—what I'm really not trying to say here, I guess, just and just to kind of head this off, is you should only hang out with people that are Christians only, um because I do think that there is an element to evangelizing and inviting people that are totally different than you, um that are not Christians into your life, and fellowshipping with them and showing them what— As long as you're the influence and not they're the influence on you, I'm not saying it all.
00:11:37
Shane
Oh yeah. Yep.
00:11:44
Shane
yep
00:11:47
dprice171
So don't, please don't hear me and think, oh, Danny thinks we should only be friends with people that we look up to. That's not true at all. um I just am saying your closest people, the people that like are influencing, like strongly influencing you and you're closest to that's something to think about.
00:11:59
dprice171
So
00:11:59
Shane
Yeah. Can I, can I give you let me give one more thing of that. The way I look at that is when you're reaching out and you want to invite those people into your world.
00:12:02
dprice171
yeah, please.
00:12:08
Shane
Um,
00:12:09
dprice171
Hmm.
00:12:10
Shane
Invite them into your home. ah Show hospitality to them. Invite them to things you're going to. You know, sure, you might have to every now and then also go with them. But you want to, I would kind of I always kind of would say like the 80-20 rule.
00:12:25
Shane
Like m try to get them in your, like where you're the
Seeking Mentors for Relationship Success
00:12:31
Shane
stronger influence. um especially when you're younger, because if you're, if not, at least for me, man, I was not strong enough.
00:12:34
dprice171
Yeah.
00:12:39
Shane
I, I, I got pulled down every time, you know? um So the people that you're influencing, pull them into your world. The people you're being influenced by, like the people you want to emulate, man, go into their world as much as you can.
00:12:46
dprice171
Yeah.
00:12:54
Shane
um does that that make sense it so so yeah and you could say jesus ate with the tax collectors he ate with the you know yeah yeah but but he also remember where whose house he did it at he did it at matthew's house um and and matthew brought those friends into his world where jesus was you know so so anyway
00:12:54
dprice171
Yeah. No, it totally makes sense.
00:13:01
dprice171
Jesus. Hmm.
00:13:14
dprice171
Yeah, that's a great point. No, that's a good point. um I don't think I have anything else to say on that, but there's definitely some, but you know, biblical references that really show, you know, when it talks about the companion of fools suffers harm and, you know, in Proverbs, the fool, you know, fools together. It's just, it's such a common theme. It's not, it's not, it's not good. It's not good. Don't be, don't be with the fools. Don't let them, don't people let people pull pull you down that way.
00:13:39
dprice171
So next question, this is an anonymous question that came in I'm going paraphrase to the best of my ability.
00:13:40
Shane
Yep.
00:13:48
dprice171
I struggle with Mother's Day. And I'm guessing this is because you did talk about Mother's Day in your sermon, Shane. So I struggle with Mother's Day.
00:13:53
Shane
We just announced it mainly.
00:13:55
dprice171
Right. It feels like no matter what I do...
00:13:56
Shane
oh yeah. And I gave my story. Sorry.
00:13:58
dprice171
oh right.
00:13:58
Shane
I forgot that.
00:13:58
dprice171
yourre yeahll your' Your silly story.
00:13:59
Shane
I gave my story.
00:14:00
dprice171
That was so funny, by the way. um Okay, back to the question. I really struggle with Mother's Day. um to be told Truth be told, it's not my favorite holiday. It feels like no matter what I do, I'm not enough. I feel rejection and failure around this day more than any other time of the year. And when Father's Day rolls around, sometimes it feels like...
00:14:17
dprice171
we do a better job for celebrating that than Mother's Day. And I hate this pressure. it feels like a scam. What wisdom can you help guys like me honor honor their mother in their life? And how do you keep trying when you feel like it's all doomed to fail?
00:14:33
Shane
Man, um that's tough because we are called to honor honor our um mothers. um And I think, one, um to as much as you can, especially in prayer, um have gratitude for your mom in whatever ways you can have gratitude.
Importance of Marriage Counseling and Mentorship
00:14:50
Shane
um You know, like i i was abandoned by my mom when I was five years five years old.
00:14:51
dprice171
Hmm.
00:14:55
Shane
You know, um i still thank God for my mom, you know. In some ways, they always say, you know, abandonment is easier sometimes than being around the, you know, if you know if it was...
00:15:09
Shane
really toxic or abusive or something. But, um, so, you know, as much as you can have a heart and an attitude of gratitude and ask God to give you that, that heart towards your mom,
00:15:23
Shane
But then after that, I think, you know, you search your heart and you really check to see, make sure you're you're doing your best to display that gratitude um and to be sincere about it.
00:15:35
Shane
And then, quite frankly, you let the chips fall where they may. And even when it's your mom or your dad, um i think you sometimes just have to let them, you got to let them live in their pain. There's something probably in your mom.
00:15:54
Shane
Um, that it, you know, if, if she's putting that on her family and her kids, there's some sort of pain, there's some sort of bitterness, there's some sort of something that she's living with every day and she's not free from, and, you know, pray that God would break her free from that.
00:16:12
Shane
Um, and you know, and then, and do your best to honor and then let it, let it fall where it falls, you know, and that's, that's on her. She's not going to accept it.
00:16:22
Shane
You know, if she's not going to, um, see it, that's what you're doing.
00:16:23
dprice171
Right.
00:16:26
Shane
Um, you, you can't make someone see your intentions and, and you're not, you know, responsible for her feelings. You're responsible for, for how you, um, how you do what you're supposed to do.
00:16:35
dprice171
Yeah.
00:16:41
Shane
And so I don't know. Do you got anything to add to that?
00:16:45
dprice171
um I mean, maybe just like reiterating some of the stuff that you said, I feel like you covered that really well. Yeah. I think, yet like you said, Scripture is clear to honor your father and mother, and it doesn't have an end date on that. I think you always ah honor your father and your mother.
00:17:00
dprice171
um Honor is different than appease
Misconceptions About Healthy Marriages
00:17:05
dprice171
in every way possible or make that make them feel special.
00:17:06
Shane
Yeah.
00:17:08
dprice171
or and i want to be careful here because I'm not saying you need to sell yourself short, but like you said, some people have a perception of things, and if they're choosing to be bitter, that's...
00:17:21
dprice171
that's That's the way that they're going to perceive things. So, for example, if they're looking at Father's Day and going, oh, well, you so and you and did this and so and so for Father's Day, why didn't you do something similar, you know, to that, you know, to that, you know, extravagance or whatever it is on Mother's Day? And and if they're choosing to see things that way and they're assuming negative intent.
00:17:41
dprice171
There's not much that you can do in that situation other than reassure, hey, you know I honor you, mom, or you know or if it's roles reversed, I honor you, dad. And bringing you know bringing that to the forefront and being very clear, like you're my you're my parent and I love you and I honor you.
00:17:56
dprice171
i think you i think you can do that, but you can't say, i'm now, because of the honoring, I'm going to honor your every whim, every idea, or every... cri critique like that's I don't think the Bible causes to do that and I think you have to use a little bit of judgment of going you know what they they they're gonna they might feel hurt because they're choosing to feel hurt by this but I am I as far as it's on me I'm going to honor them and I think that's kind of where you have you have to kind of let the chips lie where they do at that point don't know that's the right way to say that sentence it does that that does that make sense what I'm saying Shane there's that is that wrong yeah okay
00:18:27
Shane
Yeah. No, that, that totally does. um You know, and, and I guess I would just speak to the moms for just a second. um So if you're a mom hearing this, know that there are quite a few kids that feel this way, unfortunately, sadly, um you know, as a pastor, I oftentimes hear about people's relationship with their moms and um it's tough, man. Being a mom is a hard job and it's a thankless job. um And yet, know,
00:18:57
Shane
the truth of it is you didn't do it to be thanked. Um, and you need, you know, as a mom, you you should probably remember that because it will help the relationship you have with your kids. So many of the kids I know who struggle with their moms, they love
Resources for Building Stronger Relationships
00:19:10
Shane
their moms deeply.
00:19:12
Shane
Um, but they, they sense that their mom just, it never gets it. Um, and that she always has a criticism or that she's always picking on something or it's never enough, or there's always a guilt aspect.
00:19:26
Shane
Um, with it. So yeah, moms, I would just say if you're hearing this, um maybe check your heart a little bit as Mother's Day comes and ask, you know, God to give you an a heart of gratitude towards whatever your kids do.
00:19:41
Shane
and And the main thing is to just be thankful for the blessing of a family if you've got a family that loves you.
00:19:47
dprice171
Yeah.
00:19:48
Shane
Because man, I know a lot of women that don't have kids that wish they did. i know a lot of women whose kids don't ever call them Um, who, you know, who, who don't put any effort in.
00:20:01
Shane
um so, you know, um, just try to have a heart of gratitude, um, as well, moms, uh, uh, it'll, it'll help you when you're relationship with your kids a lot.
00:20:13
Shane
So.
00:20:13
dprice171
Yeah. No, I agree. i will say for my very, I mean, I'm 31. I'm very limited in my scope of like understanding a lot of these things, especially if you see bitterness and stuff that lasts for generations. I mean, it's it's it's not something i'm I'm not, this is just you know my personal opinion, which I'm hoping is you know biblically based, but I really think communicating um and being upfront about things is incredibly important.
00:20:41
dprice171
So in this specific instance or in other instances, um you might be taking things for granted or thinking, well, my mom knows that I love her or my kids know that I love them. And I promise you, i This is like such a common denominator for so many interpersonal conflicts that I've seen in the past is you're assuming someone knows your intentions or knows your heart and they don't because your actions don't always show it.
00:21:08
dprice171
And people are are operating on different levels of reality. You're operating this level of reality of my mom knows I love her. She knows this. She sees this. She ah understands this. And she's operating from a totally different perspective.
00:21:20
dprice171
she's on a totally different plane of reality. I'm not saying that in this specific question, that's the case, you know, or your specific circumstance. I've just seen that a lot of the time. So I'm just offering that as kind of a opportunity for you guys to realize sometimes you need to communicate your feelings and your thoughts to the person that you're in a struggle with. And that will do wonders for the relationship.
00:21:39
dprice171
um Because again, and I'm not saying communication fixes everything. They might still be pissed off or mad, whatever that circumstance is. But yeah, at least then you know that you've leveled the playing field a little bit and you're you're trying to bring them onto your plane
Personal Challenges in Relationships
00:21:52
dprice171
of reality of like, hey, you know what?
00:21:53
dprice171
i This is how I see things. You might not see these things the same way, but at least want you to see where I'm coming from. Because again, when there's that disjoint, you get you run into so many different issues and confusions. When you're thinking they think you know what you're thinking, which, sorry, that sounds like a tongue twister, but...
00:22:07
Shane
yeah
00:22:09
dprice171
They think one thing and they think that you're operating this one way and you're really like you're in a totally different area and you guys are on the totally different planes. It makes a really big difference with conflict.
00:22:20
dprice171
So that's that's my little as a not you know totally unlicensed counselor, whatever.
00:22:20
Shane
Yep.
00:22:25
Shane
Yep.
00:22:26
dprice171
i'm not i have no I have no training.
00:22:26
Shane
And that doesn't matter what relationship it is.
00:22:27
dprice171
That's just... yeah
00:22:29
Shane
That's all relationships.
00:22:31
dprice171
um Just bringing that bringing that out. So anyways, great question.
00:22:33
Shane
Yeah.
00:22:34
dprice171
Great question. Thanks for sending that in. All right. So again, i I didn't have a lot of questions. So um this might be a shorter episode. Who knows? We talk a lot. um But I just had some topics.
00:22:43
Shane
Yeah.
00:22:45
dprice171
So some topics that I thought would be interesting. I haven't really formulated into questions, but we're just going shoot the breeze with this. We'll see where this goes. um Wisdom for young people in relationships in teenage years.
00:22:56
dprice171
what do What do you got? and You talked about that. 17-year-olds are... um Kind of dumb, which, you know, i know you were joking because there's lots of smart 17 year olds, but in general with relationships, there's so little experience that they have in that in that area.
00:23:04
Shane
Yep. yep
00:23:08
dprice171
um What's the wisdom that you would share for someone who's 16, 17, whatever, and is looking for um looking to walk out relationships wisely?
00:23:19
Shane
Yeah. um Yeah. So first of all, i I, you know, anytime I make those jokes, I always kind of feel bad because there are we have a lot of kids around our church that I think are awesome.
00:23:25
dprice171
ah
00:23:28
Shane
So if you are one of those kids, I doubt there's a 17 year listening to this. If you are there again, see, that's how wise you are if you're listening to this.
00:23:32
dprice171
No.
00:23:35
Shane
But if it's one of your kids, you know, just know that I do think there's a lot of awesome kids. um That's just a general joke.
00:23:40
dprice171
Do you hear that, everyone? You get wiser. You get wiser by listening to this podcast.
00:23:42
Shane
Yeah.
00:23:44
dprice171
ah
00:23:44
Shane
But, um you know, I guess, the The main thing I would say, and well, I'll start with this. no Okay, obviously there are the occasional horrible parents, but but nine most parents, and the parents I know,
00:24:05
dprice171
Yeah.
00:24:06
Shane
They love their kids. So if you're a teenager, know that your parents love you. um they They may not show up very well. They not may not be good at communicating it. um They may be getting on you all the time about things you think are so stupid. um and and And remember this, give your parents grace um because This is the first time they've done this as well.
00:24:35
Shane
um You know, there's all sorts of things you're learning. Your parents are learning at the same time. um Know that they love you and know that, the you know, the ones I know, they want to be there for you.
00:24:46
Shane
And so there's some wisdom just in knowing that. um to trying and And take it on as much as you can to build that relationship with your parents and try not to go through it alone.
00:24:56
dprice171
Yeah.
00:24:56
Shane
Yeah.
00:24:57
dprice171
Yeah.
00:24:59
Shane
And then, um but then the main thing, man, I would say is going back to the sermon, at least is what they start that choosing wisely. You know, another thing i used to tell all my kids is the decisions you make between the ages of about 14 and 24, those 10 years will set the path for the rest of your life.
00:25:18
dprice171
Hmm.
00:25:24
Shane
Now you might be able to change that course later on, but you will have to change course.
00:25:24
dprice171
Yep.
00:25:28
Shane
Like it will be a job. It will be work to change that course. um So the why the choosing wisely in those stages um, makes all the difference in the world.
00:25:43
Shane
Um, you know, and as these parents, you know, a lot of the parents, I, I diss on a lot of times parents doing travel sports with their kids because, you know, it just like overtakes their lives and that kind of thing.
00:25:56
dprice171
Yeah.
00:25:56
Shane
And yet that said, I also am a big believer in having our kids in sports in some ways because,
00:25:56
dprice171
Yeah.
00:26:05
Shane
it kind of at least encourages them to be friends with kids who are at least moving forward. They have direction. Um, they're usually people who want to have goals, that kind of stuff.
00:26:12
dprice171
yeah
00:26:15
Shane
Um, So the choosing wisely is ah is a huge, huge thing. And that's why I would say, man, as Christian kids, man, have a couple Christian friends that you know, that you actually like studied the Bible together.
00:26:32
Shane
Go to Bible study, pray together, do like get in the word together. You don't have to wait till you're an adult to do that stuff.
00:26:37
dprice171
Hmm.
00:26:37
Shane
Be doing it now.
00:26:38
dprice171
Yeah.
00:26:39
Shane
um
00:26:40
dprice171
Yeah.
00:26:40
Shane
So start there. And then the other thing with kids, i would say, um,
Pastoral Relationship Challenges
00:26:45
Shane
is a big one is the choosing is, uh, accepting correction, or I don't remember how I worded it in the sermon, but, um, being open to, to being corrected because, um, you know, I don't know about you.
00:26:52
dprice171
Right.
00:27:00
Shane
i was not, I did not receive correction,
00:27:02
dprice171
No, i was i was the worst. Yeah.
00:27:04
Shane
Yeah. I mean, everything somebody said to me, I justified. I had an excuse. I, you know, I was right. They were wrong. um You know, I thought I knew so much when I was that age.
00:27:14
Shane
And, you know, so, you know, don't be, and I get why, you know, it's part of that trying to look like you've got life figured out and, you know, that kind of thing.
00:27:24
dprice171
Yeah.
00:27:26
Shane
But, but man, the sooner you can learn humility and realize you need, people around you to help you um and go to those people, man. If you're a part of the church, which I would assume anyone listening to this would be that, you know, a church man, find, find some of those adults that are helping out with the youth and, and don't just hang out with them at youth nights.
00:27:46
Shane
Like ask them like, can i meet with you once in a while? Can we, you know, like ask them to do it with you, you know, or find another younger, young adult, at the church who's got some time and we'll study the Bible with you or whatever, get, get that mentoring.
00:28:01
Shane
So that would be the, that's where I would start.
00:28:01
dprice171
No, that's good. Um... If I would add to that with the mentoring to just a lot of times, like I think we as teenagers and I was definitely guilty of this. um We're short sighted, right? you you You're thinking of things in very short term. um Really, you if you can, especially when it comes to not just like relationships and like friends, but like dating relationships, you It really does help to have people that are a little ahead of you in life, the next phase, the next two phases, whatever that youle whatever that looks like, ahead of you and look at their life and go, man, man if I had a relationship or a marriage or
00:28:36
Shane
Yep.
Episode Conclusion & Announcements
00:28:43
dprice171
a family like so-and-so by the time 30, I'm have relationship
00:28:46
dprice171
I would be so thrilled and so excited. Where, what did they do to get there? And you talk to, talk to those people and I promise you, they were going to say things like we made a lot of mistakes.
00:28:52
Shane
Yep.
00:28:56
dprice171
No, you know, almost 90 times, 99% of the time they're gonna be like, we we did this and this and this, this wrong. And a lot of this is God's grace, but there are some common denominators and some themes between, you know, those people's lives of how they did dating, how they did relationships.
00:29:10
dprice171
Why was it successful? Um, you know, look, look, look at that. And I know it's so hard when, when you're looking at that pretty girl or that handsome guy and you're like, Oh my gosh, I just, I can see my future in their eyes.
00:29:21
dprice171
And you're like, so lot, but, and you don't know how to get from a to B a being dating B being to, you know, a godly marriage, you know, and,
00:29:23
Shane
yeah
00:29:30
dprice171
The people that have done it ahead of you have seen all the same, you know, that you're you're not in any new position. There's, all you know, you've never owned no one ever has struggled physically like we do. No one has ever had the same, um you know, emotions like we do.
00:29:43
dprice171
Trust me, they've been experienced guys. There's not that much new wonders. aside Um,
00:29:48
Shane
There's actually nothing.
00:29:49
dprice171
Yeah, exactly. There you As Solomon says, there's nothing new the sun. Seek out some wise counsel from people that are... I'm not saying you need to go find... Again, there's wisdom in people that are 80, right? And I'm just saying sometimes just look a phase or two ahead of you and go, what did you do? Because I like what you what your relationship looks like.
00:30:06
dprice171
um That'd be the first thing. And then the second thing would be, this is something that I wish I did more of. as this is again This is just a personal personal trope, I guess. I wish i was a little less self-centered when I was in in my teenage years because all the decisions, and I know it's hard to get out of that, but a lot of decisions I made, i made very selfishly with the people I chose to to i chose to hang out with certain people with that I thought would improve my social status or people that I perceived as cool. i
00:30:39
dprice171
I only got to know the girls that I thought were attractive or the girls that I was interested in. i didn't care to like just to talk to girls because I was like, I i want to be their friend. Genuinely, i I was just very selfishly motivated in a lot of my relationships. And I wish I didn't because it it took me a long time to realize how to get out of that, not to twist everything for my advantage and not to be selfish in my relationships. It took me a long time to get out of that. And it's something that I think I missed out a lot. I missed out on a lot of good friendships in high school because a lot of it was where am I looking for my benefit?
00:31:09
dprice171
Like where, where, where, where can I win in this? It was always about, it was always about Danny. Danny was number one. And I know it's hard cause we're all selfish. And a lot of times when you're younger, it's even more so, but man, if I could encourage you get to know people for the sake of getting to know them, serve them, put them first, see how that goes.
00:31:23
dprice171
And I promise you, that's going to create way better friendships, relationships, um you know boyfriend, girlfriend, marriage relationships that, that, will that will serve you so well in the future. And it's very biblical.
00:31:32
Shane
Yeah.
00:31:32
dprice171
it's That's not just like a, little thing, but I, I really wish I would have done that more when I was in high school.
00:31:37
Shane
Yep.
00:31:38
dprice171
So.
00:31:38
Shane
Yeah, I didn't do it when I was young, but um you know I got married really young. So every stage of life since then, i always had a couple mentors that were a stage or two ahead of me.
00:31:51
dprice171
Hmm.
00:31:51
Shane
um you know Someone when I didn't have kids, it was someone with new kids. It was
00:31:57
dprice171
Yep.
00:31:58
Shane
When I had new kids, it was someone with teenagers, you know. and it was just always always kind of someone I could glean from. so
00:32:08
dprice171
That's cool. Awesome. um Again, topic, not really a question associated with this, but just thoughts, your thoughts on marriage counseling or, or you know, relationship counseling. When do you need to get professional help? Like, just talk about that whole, there's a whole lot there, but just whatever you have that jumps out to you.
00:32:27
Shane
um First of i would say get help before you think you need help. um
00:32:33
dprice171
Hmm.
00:32:33
Shane
And what I would say is that I'm not, and I wouldn't say necessarily professional, doesn't have to be professional, but get somebody that can be a third party for you every now and then to just listen.
00:32:45
Shane
And I'm not talking about your friend that you complained to your, ah complain about your spouse too.
00:32:49
dprice171
Yeah, yeah.
00:32:51
Shane
I'm talking about a different, another couple, or maybe, you know, one of the pastors or somebody that, you know, a church leader,
00:32:55
dprice171
Hmm.
00:33:00
Shane
leader that that if you just kind of have fights or so a certain sticking point that you can just kind of sit down and go, Hey, we struggle with this. Can we talk to you about this? And, and let another third party come in and give you some advice on that, especially if it, you know, someone godly, obviously.
00:33:09
dprice171
Hmm.
00:33:16
dprice171
Yeah.
00:33:16
Shane
Um, I think that's, uh, we, we try to do marriage alone in a vacuum, honestly. I, I think it's a mistake. I really do. um ah Most of us did not have a good example of our marriage the marriage that we grew up in um ah because the truth is, you know, i tell pre couples when i do premarital counseling this all time, you know, you got the whatever percentage that got divorced, but then on top of that, you got the...
00:33:34
dprice171
Yeah.
00:33:47
dprice171
Yeah.
00:33:47
Shane
I mean, couples, I know a lot of couples that have been married 25 to 35 years that are not happily married.
00:33:50
dprice171
yeah
00:33:53
Shane
They're not, they're not enjoying their marriage. They're just sticking it out. So, and a lot of people grew up in those homes.
00:33:58
dprice171
yeah
00:34:01
Shane
So you, you, you know, get some help and mentoring from people that, know, that, um, are you look at and you're like, they seem, they actually enjoy their marriage. Cause it's hard.
00:34:11
dprice171
Yeah.
00:34:12
Shane
It's super hard.
00:34:13
dprice171
need
00:34:13
Shane
So I would say get help, get, get some counsel, get, even if it's, if it's just there again, that mentoring thing, like, you know, going and getting a couple that's older than you, maybe not just, Oh, you as the husband go find a man and you as the wife go find a woman, a couple that's older than you and say, Hey, can we just get together once a month and have a we'd like to invite you over and have a barbecue and, and You know, you know, most people, especially empty nesters, they're, you know, usually open to doing stuff like that.
00:34:42
Shane
So, um so do that.
00:34:43
dprice171
yeah
00:34:45
Shane
That's my first thing I would say. And then how to know when it's professional. I would say start with unprofessional um because professional is expensive. um
00:34:54
dprice171
okay
00:34:55
Shane
And ah I always tell people like in the church, i I always say, look, I'll meet with you three times.
00:34:55
dprice171
ff
00:35:00
Shane
Um, you know, and then after that, I might choose to meet with you a couple more, but usually I'm just going to either, I've either given you all the advice I have, or you need to go seek a professional.
00:35:16
Shane
But a lot of, you'd be surprised how many of the couples I meet with.
00:35:16
dprice171
yeah.
00:35:19
Shane
I'm like, you just have a sticking point. You know, or you just have a couple, you have, here's some unhealthy stuff you need to, you need to work on and fix.
00:35:22
dprice171
Hmm.
00:35:27
Shane
And as long as they're willing to work on and fix it, they don't really need professional help to do that.
00:35:30
dprice171
Yeah.
00:35:33
Shane
um
00:35:33
dprice171
Hmm.
00:35:34
Shane
So, you know, um that's what I would say. But once you've done that, and if you, you know, if you're just at a... you know, point where you can't work through that, then you need to go to professional help. But here's the problem.
00:35:46
Shane
More often than not, once you've gotten to that point, ah it it's really, really hard to fix.
00:35:52
dprice171
Yeah.
00:35:52
Shane
But if you do it quick, man, I don't know, the marriage thing, i get I get so frustrated with our culture and our society. We will spend so much time trying to grow and as a, to be a better fly fisherman or golfer or, or hobbyist or, you know, do it putting physical into our physical fitness.
00:36:05
dprice171
Mm hmm. who
00:36:10
Shane
And we will spend hours and hours and all the time. And we won't invest and put the time into having a healthy marriage and nothing contributes to the and the fulfillment of your life outside of walk with Christ.
00:36:26
Shane
Nothing will contribute to the fulfillment in your life more than healthy marriage.
00:36:30
dprice171
Yeah, that's that that's great. I love how you did mention that the sermon. Like, you don't you don't accidentally fall into wisdom, and I think you can really easily apply that to this situation.
00:36:38
Shane
yeah
00:36:40
dprice171
Like... ah this is like This is a funny little anecdote. I thought of this when you were saying this, and I just i love teasing people about this kind of stuff. But like some people will say things like, well, I don't want to lift weights because I don't want to get too bulky.
00:36:54
dprice171
like I want to have some muscle and some definition, but I don't want to be like too muscular. Or like women will say that. like I don't want to like lift weights and be like bulky or like too big. And i I promise you, you do not accidentally...
00:37:05
dprice171
You don't just like, oops, I lifted, I did some bicep curls, and now I'm just like so bulky and big.
00:37:08
Shane
Now look at this.
00:37:09
dprice171
And like...
00:37:09
Shane
What am I going to do with this? Yeah.
00:37:10
dprice171
my it no i promise you there are people i wish that wished it was that easy um that are working their butts off trying to get uh same principle with this is you don't just oops i you know i spent an hour with my spouse this week i don't know why we're so connected and healthy like it was kind of just like fell into it it does not it does not happen um it it's it's work and it's it's not unpleasant work but it is work um
00:37:15
Shane
Yep.
00:37:18
Shane
Yep.
00:37:28
Shane
Yep.
00:37:31
Shane
Yeah.
00:37:35
Shane
Yeah.
00:37:35
dprice171
So yeah, I don't have a lot to say about that. I'm very inexperienced with, you know, that whole counseling, professional counseling. I will say that being said, um, I resonate with the guy's perspective on this tech, you know, which is very, um, it's very stereotypical, but a guy saying, we don't need help.
00:37:48
Shane
Yeah.
00:37:52
dprice171
ah We got this.
00:37:53
Shane
m
00:37:53
dprice171
I can fix this. Um, And I could see that even in myself, you know, if that's something like a arose in my relationship with Hannah where I'm like, we need to go seek some help. I i can feel that egotistical like, you know, I got this in me.
00:38:07
dprice171
um And man, I would just hope all of us guys, especially that we would be selfless enough and humble enough to go. you know what? I'm going to seek someone else's advice and opinion.
00:38:16
Shane
yeah
00:38:17
dprice171
um That's really that's really tough because I think there's a lot of. marriages out there where they totally, and I get, I'm not pinning it all on guys. I just think this is a stereotypical common denominator.
00:38:28
dprice171
think a lot of guys are like, I won't go.
00:38:28
Shane
Oh yeah. We liked it. Yeah.
00:38:30
dprice171
And the women are like, I would totally go if he would go, or if he would lead me in going, um, I would totally go.
00:38:35
Shane
Yeah.
00:38:36
dprice171
And I think a lot of guys are like, no, and no, we're fine. It's not a big deal.
00:38:39
Shane
yeah As guys, we want to know every, we want to act like we know what we're doing online.
00:38:39
dprice171
Totally missing, totally missing it.
00:38:43
dprice171
Yeah. Um, that's just what I've seen. so anyways,
00:38:47
Shane
Yeah. and here's here's what I would say to that, that we we think we can do that. But the problem is most of the ways when we say, oh, I've got this, I'm going fix this. What we generally mean is I'm going to fix this to get it to work for me.
00:39:02
Shane
We don't actually mean I'm going to actually fix this. So what we're saying, oh, I'll just take my wife on five or six dates. So she's, you know, she'll be happy again.
00:39:11
dprice171
It'll placate her.
00:39:11
Shane
And then I'll go back to doing what I want to do, you know, or all, you know, yeah, do these, you know, these little things are like quick fixes.
00:39:12
dprice171
Yeah.
00:39:19
Shane
they're not actually getting to the root of what our issues are. so so yeah, the more you can do it, it's hard, but I, it is important.
00:39:23
dprice171
yeah
00:39:26
Shane
So
00:39:27
dprice171
Yeah. You're not trying to placate. You're trying to actually fix. And sometimes that means you're going do uncomfortable things. um
00:39:33
Shane
Hey, real quick, if anyone's struggling with the whole marriage thing, I don't have one in front of me.
00:39:33
dprice171
So.
00:39:40
Shane
Hang on, Dave. Stick with me. Here we go.
00:39:43
dprice171
Oh, you're good. If you can't see, I wish you guys could see Shane.
00:39:44
Shane
I can't find it.
00:39:46
dprice171
He's like wheeling across his office in his chair.
00:39:47
Shane
Yeah. um um But you you have one because you and at least Hannah was the one that um told me about it.
00:39:53
dprice171
Marriage, right?
00:39:54
Shane
And I mentioned it before. The Marriage Journal.
00:39:56
dprice171
Yeah.
00:39:57
Shane
Do you guys still do it?
00:39:58
dprice171
we don't as much as we should. um It's a whole, it's a whole story, but yeah.
00:40:02
Shane
butdd Okay, so here's what I'll just say. If you are struggling in your marriage, even like at all, just pick up this marriage journal. um If you don't, I'll you know i'll try to...
00:40:15
Shane
You know, come ask me about it or whatever. But um yeah it's like 30 bucks on Amazon, maybe 40.
00:40:17
dprice171
Yeah.
00:40:22
Shane
But it it it's a once a week sit down with your spouse. Takes about an hour and a half. And it just digs into some heart issues, some basic things that you just need to do to manage um your time and your relationship.
00:40:32
dprice171
Hmm.
00:40:36
Shane
um has a little devotional. um And i'll I'll just tell you, I think it's ah it's the best tool I have seen for marriages in in years. um and Because if you do it every week, there's just no way to do it every week and not talk about some of the stuff that needs to be talked about.
00:40:53
Shane
um
00:40:53
dprice171
Yeah.
00:40:55
Shane
So you it kind of puts you in a place where you can't avoid it. So So guys, I'm going to you right now, the 98% of any guys that are listening who haven't done anything for your wife or Mother's Day yet, get online and buy it right now.
00:41:08
dprice171
It's
00:41:12
Shane
It should be there before Mother's Day. And not only will you help your marriage, you will score points and you can thank me on Sunday.
00:41:14
dprice171
a good idea.
00:41:21
dprice171
Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I think my mom was actually the one that gave us that when we got married. And we filled out about half because there's a not like you end it. it's a very It's a very similar template that you do. But the devotional is different.
00:41:32
dprice171
um We did about we were werere like halfway through the book. And then for whatever reason, we just kind of paused and we haven't really picked it back up again. But we do a very similar thing when we do check ins with each other. It's like the same format. so that's why I would say there's a little bit of like a caveat there, but it really helps you with communication tools and certain questions to ask.
00:41:42
Shane
hu
00:41:47
Shane
Yep.
00:41:47
dprice171
Like, how can I pray for you? What's something you're going through? Very, very direct. And it kind of gets down to the k nit the nitty gritty.
00:41:51
Shane
Yeah. What's, what's the, what's something tough you're dealing with? What's something you're excited about and just stuff that I know as guys, I don't ask, you know, I don't just think, Oh, I should ask Tonya something tough.
00:41:55
dprice171
Yeah.
00:42:02
Shane
She's dealing with this week. I don't think to do that. So
00:42:04
dprice171
Yeah, no, that's a great, that's a great point. um So yeah, shout out mom for um doing that one sending it that to me and Hannah.
00:42:10
Shane
yeah, good job, Jen.
00:42:12
dprice171
um Oh, another, another thing, my mom will not shut up about this book and I love it because I've listened, I've read the first like two chapters, but then again, we're like, I've been a little busy. I haven't got to finish it, but she's She said that like for her and my dad...
00:42:23
Shane
I'm sure she loved hearing, my mom will not shut up about this book.
00:42:25
dprice171
Oh, I know. Oh, I know. No, it's a good it's a good thing because it's such a great reminder. But she she keeps reiterating because her and my dad have read through this now, I think, like two or three times because it's made that big of a difference for them. My mom's like, this is the best book that I've read on marriage in a while. It's literally called Marriage by Paul David Tripp.
00:42:42
dprice171
um And I keep hearing...
00:42:43
Shane
Oh, yeah.
00:42:44
dprice171
like She's not the only one. She's the one that's really recommended it, but a lot of people have really recommended that book. um It's a little bit more of... I love it. And I think she loves it too, because it's not just try these 10 simple tricks and it'll have, you'll have a better marriage, go on a date and then, you know, kiss each other every time you come in the door.
00:43:00
dprice171
It's not stuff like that. It's like the gospel told through marriage and the the issues of sin and how that plays a ah role in your marriage. It's very interesting. And I get, I'm only two chapters in, and I've only skimmed the rest of it.
00:43:11
dprice171
So that that's me not really reading it. I'm just going off what my mom and other people have said. I've, been recommended that book by multiple people now so that just take that for what you guys will if you guys want to take that and look into that um really quick last question didn't know if you wanted to do this how this would be cool so you listed all those things and i don't know maybe if can pull them up on your notes so that we could actually list all the things that were that was really six was it was it really really six
00:43:19
Shane
All right.
00:43:30
Shane
Yeah, I got them right here. The five areas where were choosing wisely. What? Yeah, there's really six. Yeah, not five, six. It was choosing wisely, umm receiving correction,
00:43:46
Shane
Staying sharp. And then there were some less sub points under that one. um Speaking life, um you know, that being able to speak encouragement in life, um choosing confession and forgiveness.
00:43:54
dprice171
Yeah.
00:43:57
Shane
And then I don't need to be right. Those are the six.
00:44:01
dprice171
Or I need to be right.
00:44:02
Shane
Well, yeah, I, if it was state, it was the positive. I did the positive bent on all of it by six things to do to be good in relationships.
00:44:08
dprice171
ah ah Okay. Okay.
00:44:12
dprice171
Okay. So I thought my topic was, what if Shane and I just talked about the ones that we personally struggle with? I don't know if you guys are wanting to peek it into our lives, but maybe that'll help you guys identify with us a little bit and just see where we're at um just in our lives.
00:44:26
dprice171
So I can go first. Shane, unless you want to first, what do you, what do you want?
00:44:29
Shane
Yeah, you can go first. I'll close it out.
00:44:31
dprice171
All right, cool.
00:44:31
Shane
That's fine.
00:44:32
dprice171
um The two that I see myself struggling the most with is the being right. And the, I don't know what the name was, it was for it, but just not being as encouraging. those that those speaking life those are two those are two things that i struggle with i can pull my head out of my butt every once in a while and do those but i am a very analytical person i'm sure you guys can just tell by my just the way i am nerdy nerdiness and i'm very like there's black and white there's a right and wrong which i hope you guys realize a lot of the things i say i even talked with my mom on the phone about some of other things that i've said in the podcast and she's like you know there's more than one way to look at that right i'm like
00:44:42
Shane
Speaking life, being right and speaking life.
00:45:07
Shane
Yeah.
00:45:08
dprice171
Oh, yeah, you're right. I know. And we we we talked back and forth about it. It was really funny. um Anyways, that's neither here nor there. But I'm a very black and white person. And because of that, I tend to value correctness and accuracy.
00:45:21
dprice171
And because of that, when you bring that into a relationship, it really there's what like when Shane said, there are some a lot of things in marriage that That are not necessarily black and white. There's a, there's a I don't want to say a spectrum of truth. There is truth, but there's certain ways to approach certain things that are on us on a spectrum and they're variable. And I look at that like, why didn't you do this? And I'll tell that to Hannah. Like, well, you should have done it this way because that's obviously the right way because I thought of it. And I just, I've wrecked a lot of conversations with her and other people in my life because I'm very like, no, there's there's a right way. And I totally am going to stand by there's truth and there's there are 100% right and 100% wrong things that the Bible clearly lays out, but there is a lot that's not like that. And I want to be careful about
00:46:05
dprice171
in my relationships. and that's something that I struggle with personally. um My dad always would say, and I've always drove me, drove me up the wall because I'm like, you're right. And I hate it. Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be rightly related?
00:46:15
dprice171
And what he, what he means by that is, would you rather be in the right in a situation or would you rather be correctly aligned and related with that person?
00:46:16
Shane
Yeah. eds
00:46:23
dprice171
And,
00:46:23
Shane
Yeah.
00:46:24
dprice171
sometimes they are in 100 direct opposition they are they are juxtapositions opposed to each other they are not in the same a lot a lot of times it's really hard to be right all the time and to be in a good relationship with everyone around you because a lot of times those are very difficult to hold together so just something to think about i love that quote it's a great quote he always quotes at me and i'm like you're right i hate it um and
00:46:41
Shane
Yep.
00:46:47
Shane
Yep. And so many things we think we got to be right about. i really like your mom said there's there's lots of different ways it can be done. So.
00:46:54
dprice171
Yeah. um The other thing, and again, was this speaking life. i I am working at getting better at this and trying to text people more and and encourage them more. It's been something that I don't do the best at specifically because, again, going back to this right thing, you know if if they don't do something like the way I would have done it, well, then why would I compliment them on it? Even if you know they're doing the best that they can or if they're... You know what I mean? like That sounds so...
00:47:18
dprice171
terrible and prideful, but it is how I think often.
00:47:19
Shane
Yep.
00:47:20
dprice171
And I do want to work on that better is encouraging people, regardless of whether or not I would have done it the same way, looking at their heart and going, man, you're really putting your effort into this or whatever it is. That's just an example.
00:47:30
Shane
Yep.
00:47:32
dprice171
Um, one of the people I used to know way back when his name was Josh Hauser, um, He was just, he actually lived in Midway and I knew his family pretty well. I was always like, whenever I was around him, I was, he, you could not be around him for more than like 10 minutes without him saying something positive about someone he was around.
00:47:48
dprice171
It wasn't, it wasn't always you, but it was always, oh my gosh, my bride.
00:47:48
Shane
yep
00:47:51
dprice171
She, and he would always call his wife his bride. i thought that was kind of cool. He's like, oh, she's so good at this or whatever it is. Or he would say that like the craziest things to his son. like Oh, I love that about you. Like when he was talking about like how much he loved golf or something. And I'm like, what dad talks to their son like that? Most dads are like you ding dong, get on over here, whatever it is, like very demeaning or like sarcastic. He would like literally say to his son, I just love that about you that you're so into golf or I love this or love that. Or it's so cool about you that you do this. And I was always like, man, I cannot be around you for more than 10 minutes without you saying something like that. And it was like infectious.
00:48:21
dprice171
So that's something I'm like aspiring to. Like I wish I was more like that. So those are my two things. Those are where I'm complete failure and I'm working ah working on. Those are my those are my ah my my my sticky points.
00:48:32
Shane
That's,
00:48:35
Shane
yeah, the um this speak life is tough. I definitely work. Oh, excuse me, man.
00:48:42
dprice171
Bless you.
00:48:42
Shane
Sorry about that. um I definitely work at the Speak Life. I'm i'm a critical person. um So I do, I criticize a lot, but but i really do try to like make that a practice to find ways to encourage people around me.
00:48:49
dprice171
Hmm.
00:48:58
Shane
um ah So it's definitely, so, you know, hope that, You can grow in it if you just, if you really work at it I don't know if I could ever be, I i only met Josh once, but i I could even little bit then tell what you're talking about.
00:49:05
dprice171
Yeah.
00:49:09
dprice171
Yeah.
00:49:12
Shane
But, um but I've known, you know, I have a few people like that in my life. One of my, the first pastor I served under was like that. um
00:49:18
dprice171
Hmm.
00:49:20
Shane
And, uh, You know, I do you use something infectious about being around someone like that. um You know, Kyle Moody's a lot like that.
00:49:29
dprice171
Yeah.
00:49:29
Shane
You know, he he's just always got something positive to say about everybody and always looks for the positive in people.
00:49:30
dprice171
Yep. Kyle's like that.
00:49:35
Shane
and um so i totally, it it is definitely a skill to grow in. I wouldn't say it's one of my weakest. um Well, in some ways I would.
00:49:44
dprice171
No, I wouldn't either. i don't know if I would.
00:49:45
Shane
What's that? What's that?
00:49:46
dprice171
Yeah, i said I don't know if I would either. I think you're pretty good at that in a lot of ways. You do a good job.
00:49:50
Shane
Yeah. All right. So mine, I guess, um would would be the um needing to be right, that ah especially with those closest to me. um You know, honestly, if I don't care much about you, I don't care.
00:50:09
Shane
You know what mean? Like, if I don't have, like, a relationship with you where I care, like, really about, like,
00:50:10
dprice171
Yeah.
00:50:14
dprice171
Yeah.
00:50:15
Shane
you know who you are and what you're doing. And then I don't, I could care less this most of the time.
00:50:20
dprice171
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
00:50:21
Shane
But if I do care about you, I kind of, I do that. And that's so, it kind of sucks because then you're, you're harshest on the people that you care about, you know, which doesn't make any sense.
00:50:29
dprice171
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's true.
00:50:32
Shane
Um, you know, and I will definitely say, i mean, I, I do that to Tanya a lot. Um, and, uh, that, that sucks. Um,
00:50:41
dprice171
Hmm.
00:50:43
Shane
And it's funny because I guess the second one would be, okay, if I were to say the second one I'm really bad at is speak life, like say, I do the good.
00:50:51
dprice171
Hmm.
00:50:52
Shane
I do the positive. But, you know, the Proverbs 18 says death and life are in the power of the tongue. I think I speak the life, but I'm also pretty, I speak death a lot too.
00:51:04
Shane
um You know, with my sarcasm and with my,
00:51:04
dprice171
Hmm.
00:51:07
Shane
dissing on people and, you know, and, or getting, getting angry and, you know, or whatever it is. I just feel like sometimes I do that. Um, I'll be honest, the thing right now, um and it's getting better over the last year or so, but that I, I've been bad at over probably the last 15 years is a staying sharp.
00:51:15
dprice171
Hmm.
00:51:29
Shane
Um, and I always had, brothers that I was close to, that I met with pretty regularly, that, that I, I got deep with and, um and we challenged each other.
00:51:40
dprice171
Mm-hmm.
00:51:48
Shane
We encouraged each other, prayed for each other. And i i man, okay. So I'm to, a little bit of a confession here because I just was at a pastor's thing and we were talking about this, that, that,
00:51:59
dprice171
Hmm.
00:52:02
Shane
there was like seven of us talking and six of us all said the same thing when it came to this. That, yeah, that once you're the senior pastor in a church, everyone just comes to you with their stuff.
00:52:07
dprice171
Really? Huh.
00:52:11
dprice171
Hmm.
00:52:15
dprice171
Yeah.
00:52:15
Shane
It's very rare that I find the person who asks me, and this is not to guilt anyone who's listening. I'm just being honest about where I'm struggling.
00:52:22
dprice171
Yeah.
00:52:23
Shane
It's very rare that someone says, hey, man, I'd like to find out how you're doing or or really like ask me and wants to know.
00:52:30
dprice171
Yeah.
00:52:31
Shane
Doesn't just do the ask. I give me give them the one minute answer or whatever. And then it and then it's... you know, their stuff. um So it's it's just, so then when that happens, you don't feel like you can even be vulnerable with people because you get the idea that, well, the relationship is just about what, it's just a one-way relationship.
00:52:52
Shane
You don't want that.
00:52:52
dprice171
It's like a power, there's a power dynamic, not like weird power, but just it's different. You're on different levels. Yeah.
00:52:57
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. So when I was, when I, and what's weird was when I was in associate positions, I never had that problem.
00:53:03
dprice171
Huh.
00:53:04
Shane
I always had that.
00:53:04
dprice171
Interesting.
00:53:05
Shane
But since being here, um it's, it's just, it's definitely been a tougher thing. And I've had a couple, you know, people that helped me that we do that with a little bit.
00:53:17
Shane
But, and, and it's gotten better, I would say the last year and a half, I've gotten a few relationships like that.
00:53:21
dprice171
Hmm.
00:53:22
Shane
Um, but, um, yeah, it's just the whole doing life with people.
00:53:23
dprice171
That's cool.
00:53:28
Shane
i think people kind of just assume as a pastor, you either have it or you don't need it or you don't, or you've got too many people you're doing life with.
00:53:35
dprice171
Yeah.
00:53:37
Shane
So I won't invite you to do life with, you know, uh, that kind of thing.
00:53:39
dprice171
Yeah.
00:53:40
Shane
So,
00:53:41
dprice171
Interesting. Okay. That's really interesting.
00:53:42
Shane
Yeah, so that's probably the one. But but like said, it I feel like it's getting better. I'm feeling like there's a few people that I'm starting to build that with. So, yeah.
00:53:51
dprice171
That's cool. No, I can, I, I can totally see, i mean, I have no, with no experience, I can to see like looking in like that, that may totally make sense.
00:53:52
Shane
Yeah.
00:53:57
dprice171
Cause when you're the senior pastor, ah it's hard to find someone that you would, I don't know, like, yeah, i can fight in and talk you. Cause again, you're kind of holding a lot of the responsibility for the church in a lot of ways, even though the, I mean, you know, there's the elder or the, you know the shepherds, there's a lot of, it's not like all on you, but to a certain degree, a lot of it does fall under your, under your shoulders.
00:54:18
dprice171
So yeah.
00:54:19
Shane
Yeah.
00:54:19
dprice171
that's tough. It'll totally make sense. Well, hope you guys enjoyed that. Just that's kind of spilling our guts out here. um
00:54:25
Shane
yeah
00:54:26
dprice171
Sharing, sharing and everything. um You know, you can, I'm sure you guys let me know if you guys enjoy that. Just like hearing a little bit more our personal, um the personal aspects of stuff.
00:54:34
Shane
The personal aspects.
00:54:37
dprice171
But anyways, that that's all that I had was just those. And again, not really questions, just kind of topics and things that we could talk through.
00:54:42
Shane
Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:43
dprice171
yeah, um That's all I have for the episode. Shane, you have anything else you wanted to add or touch on before we finish out?
00:54:49
Shane
No, other than just this next week, like said, don't forget it is Mother's Day. But on top of that, we're going to be talking about wisdom in our choices, which is not like, oh, how do I make this choice?
00:54:55
dprice171
Yep.
00:55:01
Shane
It's more the idea of like, um what do I have to practice day to day to build a heart that can make the right choices?
00:55:09
dprice171
Yeah, that's really good.
00:55:10
Shane
Yeah.
00:55:11
dprice171
And just again, a reminder, if you guys haven't been, you know, you can add on, or even if you're not doing any Bible reading, to read a Proverbs a day, a chapter of Proverbs a day is helpful.
00:55:22
dprice171
um I've been doing it this whole time. well We've been doing this whole thing. I've missed a couple of days, but this whole series has been really helpful. Just to add into my other Bible reading, um it's so hard to read for me to read Proverbs. um It's so fast, and it changes you know thought to thought to thought. It's not like a very good flow.
00:55:41
dprice171
So you hear you really have to slow out down and think about what you're reading more so than almost anything else cause that doesn't flow like a story. But it's been really helpful.
00:55:47
Shane
yeah
00:55:47
dprice171
So just encouragement for you guys. If you guys are listening, you're like, what what should I be doing? I would i would try i would start there, honestly.
00:55:52
Shane
On that note, I've been doing it differently because you know because every time I've read through Proverbs, that's what I've done. I'm like, oh, I'm going to read one a day for the month, right? But this time, because I was like, oh, we're taking eight weeks and going through this, I've just been reading about 10 to 12 Um, and it, and it just, I don't know i'm able, I feel like I'm able to focus on them better.
00:56:08
dprice171
Okay. Versus.
00:56:12
Shane
Um, so, uh, because that's, I think that's the thing I've always just read them so fast.
00:56:13
dprice171
Okay.
00:56:17
Shane
I'm like, Oh, and then I'll, I'll highlight them thinking, oh I'll go back to them.
00:56:17
dprice171
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
00:56:20
Shane
And then, you know, I don't as often as I should.
00:56:21
dprice171
Yeah. Okay. and Interesting. No, that totally makes sense. No, that's, that's awesome. Well, cool. Um, well again, appreciate you guys. Uh, yeah, again, Mother's Day, bring your moms to church, um, reach out to your mom regardless, whether she lives in state or not. Um, and I hope to see you guys next week.
00:56:38
dprice171
um We are working on thanks to Ashley Salaritas, we are working on a website for this. We're a little bit easier to upload questions. So just keep, stay posted on that. She's already made it, but we're just tweaking it a little bit.
00:56:48
dprice171
And honestly, I've been so busy.
00:56:48
Shane
Yeah.
00:56:49
dprice171
It's been hard to stand on top of stuff like that. It's been, there's been a lot going on.
00:56:52
Shane
Becoming legit.
00:56:54
dprice171
I know. Yeah, we're getting, we're getting official. We have a domain name that she, that she set up. So Ashley's just crushing it, doing all that kind of stuff. She's the kind of person that just puts in so much backend work. That's thankless. And I'm like, man, you're, you're doing so much for us.
00:57:05
dprice171
and I didn't even, didn't even like,
00:57:06
Shane
does she even listen the Does she even listen to the book?
00:57:08
dprice171
I think she does a little bit. I think she, i think she does a little bit. She texted me once or twice about like things, in the podcast. What
00:57:13
Shane
is Is she listener number 32?
00:57:16
dprice171
was number 32?
00:57:17
Shane
I know. I'm just kidding.
00:57:17
dprice171
Oh, oh, okay.
00:57:18
Shane
It's just it's a thing.
00:57:18
dprice171
i was like.
00:57:19
Shane
when it's it it yeah Some other podcasts will do that when they know that, like, hey, we've got 40 listeners or whatever.
00:57:25
dprice171
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:57:26
Shane
right.
00:57:29
dprice171
Yeah, if you're an OG. But anyways, appreciate you guys. ah Pass this on to your friends. you know Rate us, all that stuff on Spotify if you're listening. you We always appreciate that. And we will see you guys next week. Bye-bye.