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Wisdom with our Words and Thoughts | Episode 46
43 Plays7 days ago
In this episode Danny and Shane discuss the issues we have with Gossip and Slander and how to avoid them. They discuss mending broken relationships and a biblical perspective on speech.
MVF Sermon https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wisdom-in-our-thoughts-words/id1667700510?i=1000763723593
Bible Verses
Proverbs 20:19, 12, 2, 15
Luke 6 and Matthew 4
Ephesians 5
Romans 12
Ephesians 2
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Personal Sermon Practices
00:00:32
Danny Price
everybody. Welcome to episode 46 of the Table Talk Discussions podcast. I'm really excited to have you guys here listening with us. As always, you know make sure you guys are listening to the sermon. Jane, great sermon.
00:00:43
Danny Price
i I loved it. I wasn't there on Sunday, and I thought it was...
00:00:47
Shane
That's why you loved it.
00:00:48
Danny Price
Yeah, that's why I loved it, because I didn't have to... I didn't have to hear it three times because I wasn't running sound. Yeah.
00:00:53
Shane
That's true. You only had to listen once.
00:00:56
Danny Price
There was a period there back in like January February where I would be running sound for a week and I'd hear the sermon three times. Not the entire sermon because I'll like run out and grab a coffee or something, but I've roughly heard it about three times.
00:01:06
Shane
Yeah.
00:01:08
Danny Price
And then we do the podcast. So I'd be listening to the you know questions.
00:01:11
Shane
yeah
00:01:12
Danny Price
We talk about it maybe a little bit on Sunday. Then I would write the questions down and then we do the podcast and then we go to midweek and go over the the sermon
Service Dynamics and Sermon Delivery
00:01:20
Danny Price
then. And then on Friday, I would do the men's call with David and some of the men from the men's ministry and we talk about it again.
00:01:24
Danny Price
So I was like, I was hitting it like five times.
00:01:28
Shane
Yeah, I guess.
00:01:28
Danny Price
Um, it was like, okay, this, so i was like, okay, this is, this is a lot anyways. Um, but no, it is fun. It is fun just to listen.
00:01:38
Danny Price
And I'm pretty sure they record the 10, the 10 AM m service. That's like usually the one that they record.
00:01:43
Shane
Yeah, I'm 90% sure that's usually it.
00:01:43
Danny Price
Um,
00:01:46
Danny Price
And I know I've asked you this before, but do you do you really think there's a lot of difference? I mean, obviously, I know you're not saying the exact same words. Would you say that that's like your best one that you put forward?
00:01:53
Shane
Yeah.
00:01:54
Danny Price
Because it's like right in the middle. You're not tired yet, but you also have the first one to go through.
00:01:57
Shane
Yeah, I would say that 10 o'clock is, well, I hate to say that because I want people to go to the other services.
00:02:02
Danny Price
no Yeah, right. Not the best, but...
00:02:04
Shane
Um, but you know, for the first service, you're always kind of like, there's things you say and do that. You're like, oh I'm going to, you know, add that or change it. Or, you know, um, that it just comes off different when you're in front of people than when you do it, you're by yourself.
00:02:13
Danny Price
Uh-huh.
00:02:18
Shane
Um, and then, you know, so hopefully you kind of have it nailed down by 10 and then the 1130 doesn't really change much, but there's times I still add things to 1130.
00:02:26
Danny Price
Refined. Yeah.
00:02:28
Shane
I'll still make some changes, you know, that,
00:02:29
Danny Price
Interesting.
Sermon Styles and Preparation
00:02:30
Shane
uh, that I feel like are are worth changing.
00:02:33
Shane
yeah The other thing is with the 1130, like if I'm looking at time at on the 10 o'clock, I'm worried about getting now With 1130, I don't worry as much. like So if it's like two or three minutes and there was something I really wanted to put, but I didn't feel like there was time, I don't mind throwing it in.
00:02:47
Danny Price
Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:49
Shane
Yeah.
00:02:49
Danny Price
No, that totally makes sense because you're not they're not under the gun as much.
00:02:49
Shane
Oh, 100%.
00:02:52
Danny Price
um
00:02:52
Shane
Yeah.
00:02:53
Danny Price
Is there any element to like people in the room, like energy in the room that gets you a little bit more fired up?
00:02:57
Shane
oh a hundred percent
00:02:58
Danny Price
Like like if you if there's a full room versus like 50 people or something like that?
00:02:59
Shane
yeah
00:03:02
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. The good thing is I would definitely say with both the 10 and 1130, they're full enough that, that I feel like the energy is, is pretty much the same. Um, and yet, you know, what actually it's kind of cool is the eight 30.
00:03:16
Shane
One thing I like, even though it's the earlier service, I feel like the people are pretty alert and awake and like ready, you know, where sometimes at 11, even the 11 o'clock, I'm like, come on people. It's like 11 o'clock, wake up.
00:03:28
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:03:29
Shane
So, um,
00:03:31
Danny Price
Yeah, know. I get that. But ah yeah, I would think.
00:03:33
Shane
Oh yeah, but it definitely changes it. Yeah.
00:03:35
Danny Price
Yeah, there's a little bit more of like, not like you need all these amens or anything, but just like vocal response or people laughing at jokes and, you know, engage into wrestling the paper.
00:03:40
Shane
No.
00:03:43
Shane
Yep.
00:03:43
Danny Price
People open their Bibles. It's like, oh, yeah, that's happened.
00:03:45
Shane
Yeah. You just don't feel like it's like crickets.
00:03:46
Danny Price
Stuff's happening. stuff's happening
00:03:48
Shane
Like, yeah, yeah. You know, it always helps people.
00:03:49
Danny Price
Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:51
Shane
Energy
Focus on Proverbs: Words and Speech
00:03:52
Shane
makes a difference.
00:03:53
Danny Price
Okay, this is a totally off topic. What do you think about asking for an amen? Do you think that that's something that you should do as a teacher? like can I get an amen? Should you be asking that or is that like is that wrong to ask?
00:04:04
Shane
I don't know. I think it's more of a style that people, some people, um, I don't, I don't think anything wrong with it. Um, it's, it's not necessarily my stuff.
00:04:11
Danny Price
and Okay, okay.
00:04:15
Shane
I think for me, when, um, I, I feel weird saying something like that, but what I don't feel weird is if somebody does say amen or, or, you know, like we got someone, i don't know who it is, but once while I hear like, come on.
00:04:28
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:04:28
Shane
you know and
Counsel, Gossip, and Confidentiality
00:04:30
Shane
um you and And I'll say something while I'm like, yeah. you know like I'll kind of like with.
00:04:33
Danny Price
yeah Yeah. Oh, okay. That's funny.
00:04:37
Shane
So, yeah.
00:04:37
Danny Price
Yeah, we're definitely, I mean, Utah, I feel like that's not really, we're not super expressive with our
00:04:42
Shane
Yeah. I mean, shit, we can't. We can hardly get 10 people in the service to raise their hands and where's their blood load?
00:04:47
Danny Price
Oh, i no, I know.
00:04:47
Shane
Yeah.
00:04:48
Danny Price
Yeah. I was going to say it's not like that. You know, I get more Bible Belt, maybe like black gospel type of church where it's very vocal and very responsive. So i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.
00:04:57
Shane
Yeah.
00:04:57
Danny Price
i was just curious if you had you had any like different style.
00:04:58
Shane
No. Yeah, it's just a different style.
00:05:01
Danny Price
Yeah, makes sense.
00:05:01
Shane
Hmm.
00:05:02
Danny Price
um First question just I had was just anything that didn't make it into the message. How do you feel about prepping for this message? I know you said you switched it around a little bit with a different one that was going to happen. Tell me about that a little bit.
00:05:12
Shane
Well, it wasn't that I didn't switch it this week. I switched them the week before. I i knew um because of, you know, as as most people know, the the sensitive um resignation letter that Bruce read.
00:05:17
Danny Price
Oh, OK, OK.
00:05:25
Shane
um I just thought, you know what? When things like this happen, people have a tendency to like – make it about them by wanting to talk about it or gossip.
00:05:32
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:05:34
Shane
I said, so I thought what a it good opportunity to just move it and you and preach on this topic this week instead of waiting till later. So, yeah.
00:05:42
Danny Price
Yeah. Oh, that's good. um Was there anything that didn't make it into the sermon that you were like, you know, I would have talked about this if I had time.
00:05:48
Shane
Well, man, I mean,
00:05:50
Danny Price
or i know there's a lot.
00:05:50
Shane
Yeah.
00:05:50
Danny Price
There's a lot in the sermon.
00:05:51
Shane
Well, I'll just say, I mean, there was in the research, I had probably another 25 proverbs I could have used.
00:05:58
Danny Price
Holy cow.
00:05:58
Shane
um So, you know, so I narrowed down and tried to keep ones that I felt like covered different things, you know, um because a lot of them are kind of cover repetitive top aspects, you know? um So not necessarily a lot more that I would have added that would have been different, but I mean, there's some other just really good proverbs on, on all these topics.
Handling Offenses and Conflict Resolution
00:06:20
Shane
I Hopefully people are reading the Proverbs along with this and, you know, highlighting their own that kind of hit home for them. You know, as I'm going through it, I'm highlighting in two different colors, one for use for the sermons and then one's ah another color just that I'm like, ooh, that's that's for me.
00:06:38
Danny Price
that's That's good. That's cool. um how Do you highlight do you highlight just like directly in your Bible?
00:06:41
Shane
Yeah.
00:06:43
Danny Price
Are using an app or what are you using? Is this Logos or...
00:06:45
Shane
um Well, I do both, but when i every morning i read my own ah my own personal Bible, and normally when we're preaching through a series, i won even though I've already done some of the lot of the study, I will reread through that whatever we're preaching as well.
00:07:04
Shane
um Because the more I can have it personally hit me, the better I preach, I feel like. So I'm not reading it in the morning for study. I'm reading it for my own like i'm reading it for my own personal study.
00:07:16
Shane
I'm not reading it for sermons. But I i still try to read whatever we're preaching because it it just hits me in a more personal way um when I do that.
00:07:18
Danny Price
Got it, OK. OK.
00:07:29
Danny Price
okay
00:07:30
Shane
And in that way, when I'm actually for preparing the sermon, a lot of that stuff will bog get brought to mind, you know, a lot of that personal stuff.
00:07:38
Danny Price
Yeah, that makes sense.
00:07:40
Shane
So, because I really, for me, you know, the sermons that, you know, I get the most feedback, like positive feedback afterwards, are oftentimes the ones where I'm like, yeah, that's because I was preaching to myself, you know.
00:07:42
Danny Price
Cool.
00:07:55
Danny Price
Yeah. No, that and that that makes sense. It just is more near and dear, more close to home.
00:07:58
Shane
Yeah. Yep.
00:08:00
Danny Price
I guess it's hard, and ah you know, if you're not convicted on something, it's harder. I mean, you can just teach through what the God's word says, and that's fine, but it's hard it's hard to...
00:08:05
Shane
Yeah.
00:08:08
Danny Price
draw a lot from like stories and draw a lot from, you know, illustrations or whatever.
00:08:11
Shane
Yeah. Well, and I, and I feel like, and there's lots of different great teaching styles.
00:08:12
Danny Price
is
00:08:15
Shane
I mean, some of the best teachers are people who just teach, you know, through and don't, you know, but I feel like my
00:08:19
Danny Price
Yeah.
Biblical Examples and Trusting God
00:08:22
Shane
style is a lot based on personal conviction.
00:08:25
Shane
Like there's, you know, I think one of the things that people, give me encouragement into my preaching is they, they sense the conviction in it.
00:08:36
Shane
And and so it does come a lot from that.
00:08:36
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:08:39
Shane
and So. Yeah.
00:08:39
Danny Price
That's good encouragement. That's that's cool.
00:08:41
Shane
Yeah.
00:08:42
Danny Price
um The question I had, so you know you're talking about being you know wise with our words, wise with our, it was what it was wise with words and what else um was the title?
00:08:51
Shane
thoughts Thoughts and words, but honestly, ah well, okay.
00:08:52
Danny Price
thoughts Thoughts and words.
00:08:55
Shane
When you say what didn't make it, we it was 98% focused on words. I mean, i you know there were some aspects of the Proverbs that I could have dug into more and the thoughts.
00:09:00
Danny Price
OK.
00:09:06
Shane
But even there again, I just didn't even use a lot of the Proverbs. that
00:09:11
Danny Price
Hmm. Okay.
00:09:12
Shane
I didn't use any of the Proverbs that the sole focus was the thoughts. So...
00:09:16
Danny Price
okay
00:09:17
Shane
I titled it that way, but it it ended up kind of moving mostly towards words.
00:09:24
Danny Price
Yeah. And there's, man, there's so many, that like you said, there's so many proverbs about words and speech and the tongue.
00:09:29
Shane
Yep.
00:09:30
Danny Price
um So that being the case, so i thought that was great. Question that I had was just thinking about this, cause you know, you were very adamant about not being gossip, not, not spreading rumors, not slandering. um So the question that I had was um what way should we seek prayer and counsel from other people without becoming gossips?
Public Image and Leadership Challenges
00:09:48
Danny Price
How do we know who to share what with, you know, with, what with who? Is that the right so way to say that? what What with who? Yeah, what with who?
00:09:55
Shane
Yeah.
00:09:55
Danny Price
How do we keep some battles and struggles to ourself? Or should we keep some battles and struggles to ourself? How do how do we how do we navigate that?
00:10:02
Shane
Yeah, I think think the more... You grow in maturity the more you, um especially if you're seeking it, you you learn that you actually can keep a lot of things to yourself, especially if it's up there again, if it's about other people, because you're you're not really keeping something to yourself.
00:10:17
Danny Price
Yeah. Hmm.
00:10:21
Shane
If it's about other people, yeah you know, it's it's they're the one carrying the most of the burden.
00:10:23
Danny Price
Uh-huh.
00:10:26
Shane
So the only reason, a godly reason for you to know is to help them carry the burden. So if they told you, It's because they want to, you, they trust you to help you help, help them carry that burden. And, and so I think recognizing the honor that it is for someone to share something so
Gossip as Social Tactics and Christian Maturity
00:10:48
Shane
deep and personal with you and that they're trusting you not to be someone who shares that with others. um There's, there's, there's a great honor in that. Like I, I, you know, I get people probably once a week, I have someone come into my office and share something with me that is,
00:11:03
Danny Price
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
00:11:03
Shane
it's, you know, it's pretty personal, you know, and, and I count it, I count it as an honor that they trust me to to do that, you know, and, um and, you know, and sometimes around a roundup campfire, what, you know, whatever it is. And so I think one counting that as an honor is, is a, is a helpful thing. And then, you know,
00:11:24
Shane
that if, if I want to share something that somebody asked, has told me, I asked their permission, you know, I, I will, I've, I've actually called people and said, Hey, um, you know, I feel like the, this is kind of a heavy thing for me as well.
00:11:41
Shane
Do you mind if I share this with Tanya? Um, so she can kind of keep me in prayer for it, you know, or, um, you know, or, you know, do you mind if I call, and I know, you know, cause I know other pastors or whatever.
00:11:43
Danny Price
Hmm. Yeah. Okay.
00:11:54
Shane
So I'll, I'll talk to them, you know, that kind of thing. But I, I usually, I, I try to ask permission. Um, and then from there you can tell if the person is okay with that and if they're okay with it, then it, then it's, then it's fine.
00:12:09
Shane
I think, yeah.
00:12:10
Danny Price
okay
00:12:11
Shane
But yeah, I mean, but other than that, I i think we we have become a culture that so badly wants to know everything and feels like everything should be out there that we do not count a lot of gossip as gossip.
00:12:24
Danny Price
ahead
00:12:30
Danny Price
Yeah, no it's true.
00:12:31
Shane
So...
00:12:32
Danny Price
Yeah. I'll share this a story. or not it's It's not like a personal story, but it's just like experience that I've had with this. you know We have our adventure team, our summer staff that works for us during summer, right?
00:12:43
Danny Price
So a bunch college kids. And you know it's inevitable there's going to be some kind of drama every year because you get a bunch of you know different personalities. And the first you know first couple of weeks are fine because you know everyone's putting their best...
00:12:51
Shane
Yeah.
00:12:54
Danny Price
Best face out, you know, trying to impress everybody and, you know, be be kind. But then you get tired and you get worn down and people start to rub you wrong because you're like, oh, you know, I can't believe they did that again. They whatever, whatever it is.
00:13:06
Danny Price
um And I used to be i think I used to almost always encourage people to like, yeah, as soon as it comes, just bring it up. Like you just need to bring that up with them or you need to bring it up with somebody else and like talk about it and get it out there.
00:13:18
Danny Price
And i've kind of I've kind of gone back a little bit on that with with a lot of people. I've kind of told certain people we need to be better at, instead of being so quick to name an offense, if it really is a serious offense.
00:13:31
Danny Price
And here's, I'm not saying like, you know, someone's like, so no one no one's cussing each other out or doing something so just like, you know, provoking them to anger. This is always like little things.
00:13:42
Danny Price
Like, you know, they left their laundry out on the floor or whatever. But I've i'm told people,
00:13:45
Shane
Yeah, or said the wrong thing, or yeah.
00:13:47
Danny Price
Or said the wrong thing or stuff like that. And I've told people we got to be better at letting it sit with us for a second and letting it stuff roll off our shoulder.
00:13:54
Shane
Mm-hmm.
00:13:55
Danny Price
And then in a clear moment, talking to them clearly about it and going, hey, I don't know if you're mean to do this, but when you say it and stuff like that, it does bug me.
00:14:03
Danny Price
Um, but not, I used to be like, just go right, go to them right away and confront them and, and it'll fix things. And cause I'm very much that way and that's my personality. But I started to notice, like if I, if I was coaching people on that, I'm like, it's not, it's actually making things sometimes worse.
00:14:03
Shane
Yeah.
00:14:16
Danny Price
Sometimes we just need to get over it, which sounds really just, you know, I'm not trying to make make that like macho or you just need to stuff those feelings
00:14:19
Shane
Yeah.
Communication: Prayer, Silence, and Listening
00:14:24
Danny Price
down.
00:14:24
Danny Price
But I think sometimes we, we need to just not talk about things, um, And the other thing too that I noticed is 99% of the time where you have a problem with somebody else, when you're talking to someone else about it, it's hardly ever for counsel.
00:14:28
Shane
Yeah.
00:14:36
Danny Price
It's almost always for validation.
00:14:39
Shane
Mm-hmm.
00:14:39
Danny Price
There's times where I think there is counsel involved and you're like, I really don't know what to do here.
00:14:39
Shane
Yep.
00:14:43
Danny Price
But a lot times you do know what to do or there's nothing really to do other than just seek forgiveness or forgive them in your heart. But you're like, I got to get validation from other people. Am I wrong here? feel like I'm the one that's They're like, oh, you totally are.
00:14:56
Shane
yeah
00:14:56
Danny Price
Oh, absolutely you are. You're like, yeah, I knew it. I knew I was right. I feel better. Yeah.
00:15:02
Shane
Yeah. Validation is a huge reason people you're absolutely right. That's a huge reason people talk about stuff. You know, we want to get people to tell us we're, we're right.
00:15:13
Shane
So, you know,
00:15:14
Danny Price
Yeah. So I don't know. I've switched a little bit of my philosophy in the past few years about that. of like I used to be like, go to everyone with everything and always just like... would no matter what it is just instantly get it out there and i've gone to you know sometimes sometimes you don't have to get it out the right way sometimes you can just forgive in your heart and let it roll off your shoulder and not take offense
00:15:27
Shane
yeah.
00:15:32
Shane
Well, yeah, I think sometimes we do need to ask ourselves, hey, do I just need to be a little more gracious? You know, because sometimes we, you know, we yeah do have to ask, like, why does that bother me so much? You know, um you know, ah there yeah, there's things i get that way, you know, with.
00:15:52
Shane
You know, in a marriage, you get that way or with family or, you know, whatever that you're just always intersecting with. And then you're like, well, it's not that big of a deal. Just let it go, you know. um But if you do catch yourself where it's getting where it leads your resentment, then I think you need yeah you need to...
00:16:06
Danny Price
Right. Right.
00:16:09
Shane
you know And that actually is one way I notice is if I feel like I really am seeking to be patient with it, but then I notice this temptation to want to talk to other people about it, then I'm like, no, okay, now that is – I need to go to it because otherwise like I'm looking for other ways to get it out.
00:16:17
Danny Price
a
00:16:21
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:16:23
Danny Price
Totally.
00:16:27
Shane
And then somebody said –
00:16:28
Danny Price
Yeah, i'm glad i'm glad you said I'm glad you said that. Yeah.
00:16:31
Shane
Actually, i was going to say somebody, but it was Zanna. I was talking to Zanna the other day and she actually said something. Hopefully she's okay with me saying this.
00:16:39
Danny Price
ah
00:16:39
Shane
We were just talking about, um um you know, about this exact situation kind of thing. And and she said, you know, I kind of have learned that sometimes I just need to ask myself, is this me?
00:16:49
Shane
Like,
Cultural vs. Biblical Communication
00:16:50
Shane
am I the, like, should I not have a problem with this? You know, and I was like that, that's, a I think that's another good wisdom to think about is, you know, do I need to just get, not have a problem with this, you know?
00:16:58
Danny Price
Yeah, no.
00:17:03
Shane
So anyway, yeah.
00:17:04
Danny Price
Oh, it's good. No, yeah, i'm glad I'm glad you said that. Because, yeah, you definitely don't want to let things fester. And you have to look at things honestly. And I totally agree with, like, if you're getting <unk> getting resentful or you're like, it's like building inside of you and you're going just explode. I'm not saying stuff it down. I'm just saying...
00:17:20
Danny Price
maybe we can have a forgiving attitude and like you said, be more gracious and let things roll off our shoulder and not carry it with us. But again, that's hard.
00:17:28
Shane
yeah
00:17:29
Danny Price
That's hard. um And I honestly think it's hard too because like our intentions might be that way, but then when stuff really does bug us, like ah you know you have you might have the best of intentions. Like, oh, I don't let things bug me. I always try to let things roll off my shoulder and then actually something does bug you and you're like, oh, I realize that this is really hard.
00:17:45
Shane
yeah
00:17:45
Danny Price
It's always easy to talk about it theoretically until you're like walking through it. Yeah. Next question that i had, where in the Bible do we see examples of how to handle gossip and slander?
00:17:56
Danny Price
Like when we see it happening around us or someone's trying to gossip and slander with us or even about us, should we call people out when we see it in real time?
00:18:00
Shane
Thank
00:18:05
Danny Price
Like, should we say, hey, wait, hold on, that's gossip. Let's not talk about that. How do how do you how do we handle that? What do we do?
00:18:11
Shane
ah Okay. um You know, I was thinking about it and i I probably read your question a little bit differently than what you intended it, but I was kind of looking about like when people gossip about us, you know?
00:18:18
Danny Price
okay.
00:18:23
Danny Price
Oh, both ways. Yeah, either way. Yeah.
00:18:25
Shane
Okay. Well, what with the gossiping about us, a couple of examples I was able to come up with is, um you know, David endured Saul, like totally slandering him and saying false accusations about him.
00:18:37
Danny Price
Mm,
00:18:39
Shane
And, um and, know, he's, I think he's a great example of during that period of him, him not giving into it. And he, he didn't even you reta try to retaliate.
00:18:51
Shane
um And, you know, he just, he endured it and let it, let the chips fall where, where they may.
00:19:00
Danny Price
h
00:19:00
Shane
And I have found, that's one thing, man, I have found, you know, the more you put your the yourself out as a leader, um the more people are going to...
00:19:14
Shane
say net negative things about you. Now the, on the other side, the more people are going to say positive things about you too.
00:19:20
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:19:20
Shane
Hopefully, you know, so there's, there's a plus, there's a plus of it.
00:19:20
Danny Price
Well, hopefully, hopefully. ye
00:19:23
Shane
Right. But the negative is you're just going to have more critics and some, and sometimes those critics are going to be valid, you know, but then sometimes they're going to be completely invalid, you know, and I've just learned over time to just the best, the best thing you can do is just, you
00:19:23
Danny Price
Yeah, sure, sure.
00:19:27
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:19:30
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:19:40
Shane
do your best not to get defensive. Don't try to, you know, retaliate. Don't try to you know, make sure everybody knows your side. And more often than not, that will actually show you as having a higher character. You know, people might react at first, but ah eventually that most of them will come around and see that, you know, don't know, they, they are who they appear to be. And, you know And actually over time, that just builds more and more people that when they do hear things, they're like, no, I've been down this road and I don't think what you're saying is true.
00:20:17
Shane
And you know so it will oftentimes help.
00:20:17
Danny Price
man
00:20:21
Shane
um you know And then obviously Jesus was was ah faced false accusations.
00:20:21
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:20:28
Shane
and was silent about it. um
00:20:30
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:20:31
Shane
didn't Didn't try to refute, you know, if anyone had the ability to refute things against them, it was it would have been Jesus. um And then um the other one I was thinking about was Joseph. You know, he had ah though the Potiphar's wife,
00:20:47
Danny Price
Yeah. oh
00:20:49
Shane
make up the story about him. And, um you know, and he face and and you know he faced consequences that were huge and long-term consequences, but he trusted God and God had a plan in it. so So when it comes to us, I think, you know, we trust God in it and we do our best ah to just um not get caught up in it.
00:21:11
Shane
And it's it's very tempting to want to defend yourself
00:21:15
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:21:15
Shane
um And more often than I don't think it's needed.
00:21:16
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:21:18
Shane
So any any thoughts on that part?
00:21:20
Danny Price
No, I think that's, yeah, no, I think that's accurate. I think, um I think it's detrimental to your, I hate to say this because it's such a buzzword now, but to your mental health, you bear with me guys.
00:21:25
Shane
Yeah.
00:21:34
Danny Price
But I think it's detrimental to your mental health to try to manage your image to to is to too much because you, like, I think Shane's 100% on with that is when when you're in leadership, when you're a little bit more in the in a public eye or front facing, you know,
00:21:41
Shane
Yeah.
00:21:52
Danny Price
people are going to opinions about you. And if you're trying to chase all these fires and put them out and make sure that everybody likes you, um Well, first of all, it's mentally exhausting and you're going to, you can't, you can't do it. You're going to have to be okay with people so not liking aspects about who you are or opinions that you have or aspects of your personality or whatever. um I took StrengthsFinders forever ago and I have, they call it WU.
00:22:16
Danny Price
It's one of the strengths. And if you Google StrengthsFinders, WU stands for, it's W-O-O, winning others over.
00:22:18
Shane
Yeah.
00:22:23
Danny Price
And it's a strength that you can have, which is your, I excel at winning others over. um The problem with that is that, and I've experienced this firsthand as you get to this point where you're like, I have to continue to win people over and I have to make sure everyone likes me. And it can be such an advantage because you, you can, I connect well with others. I make conversation easy, but it also can be detrimental because if you're so focused on how people perceive you,
00:22:48
Danny Price
um you end up really, you, you end up not being true to anything because you're just trying to put a different face on for everybody. And you're trying to, you know, put out all these fires and make sure everyone likes you and manage this image and not be okay with conflict. It's very difficult. So you can't do that. Um, so that's the one ah aspect of that. I would say just, it's impossible. So just, you know, speak the truth, be who you are. And, you know, you don't need to make apologies about certain things, especially when it comes to scripture. I think you're, you're gracious and loving with others, but yeah,
00:23:14
Danny Price
if people are resentful of you of certain things, I think you, you know, as long as you're standing on God's word with with whatever that is, I think that's, that's okay. And then when it comes to other people spreading gossip,
00:23:25
Danny Price
um man, i I think you just have to stop hanging out with people that are gossipers. And I think you have to be really, and and I would hope this would be the case for a lot of you is if you're listening to someone gossip, I hope you realize if they're gossiping about other people with you, you're probably gossiping about you to other people because someone who enjoys talking about others is just talking about others anyways, all of the time, because you have to, because that's what it is.
00:23:32
Shane
Yep.
00:23:48
Shane
Yep.
00:23:51
Danny Price
So
00:23:52
Shane
Yep.
00:23:52
Danny Price
just know Just know that. If you're like, oh, I love that this person confides in me and tells me all their stuff, just know that they're probably talking to other people too. And I would say the best the best remedy is
00:24:00
Shane
Yeah. At
00:24:04
Danny Price
If you hear something, first of all, just be bold and say, hey, you know what? i don't I haven't seen that. Or maybe there's a reason behind that. I think once you start giving people um perceived positive intent, I think it kind of shuts down gossip because gossip thrives on perceived negative intent and thrives on information that is skewed from one perspective. And as soon as you offer a different perspective, and it even talks about this in Proverbs, like one man's perspective seems right until another one that comes and gives his case. And it's talking a little bit different about court, but it's a point of view of if you, if you are even generous enough to say to someone else, Hey, I i bet they were, they have a reason why they're, why they're doing that. Or even if they don't, and it's, you know, very clearly like they messed up. You're like, I bet they feel so bad about that. And I wonder if you were to talk to them, if they would apologize, just, know,
00:24:52
Danny Price
just offering a different perspective oftentimes can diffuse situations. But the second that you side with that and try to give validation, um oftentimes we do that with our friends, I think, to... strengthen our bond, like somehow you gossiping against someone else strengthens your bond with them, and then you guys are somehow become besties together.
00:25:11
Danny Price
It's like, no, don't do that.
00:25:12
Shane
Yeah.
00:25:13
Danny Price
I respect someone 20 times more that says, hey, maybe have you considered this perspective way more than the person's like, yeah, you're totally right. Because if you're surrounded by yes men, it's not... Those are not your real friends.
00:25:24
Danny Price
The real friends are people that will challenge you and be like, hey, actually, have you thought about this?
00:25:27
Shane
Yep.
00:25:27
Danny Price
Have you really, have you gone to them even? are you Why are you even telling me? Like that person is way more valuable as a friend than the person that just is like, oh yeah, totally. You go get them. Yeah, absolutely. um I don't know that, but that's my gossip voice.
00:25:36
Shane
Um,
00:25:38
Danny Price
Like, yeah, absolutely. But you get, you get, you you guys get the idea. If you want to, sorry, I just talked for a lot.
00:25:42
Shane
Yeah.
00:25:43
Danny Price
Say say whatever.
00:25:44
Shane
No, no, that's good. You you said a lot. I 100% agree with everything you said. And I'll go back to what you first said. You you probably need to get different friends. um If you're trying to grow in spiritual maturity, hanging out with gossipers will hold you down and back forever.
00:25:59
Shane
Every single time. One of the Proverbs I didn't use for the sermon, but I love, is, for lack of wood, the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
00:26:09
Danny Price
a
00:26:13
Danny Price
m
00:26:13
Shane
Proverbs 26, 20. And...
00:26:15
Danny Price
There's no fuel.
00:26:16
Shane
Yeah. And so gossip needs oxygen. So, you know, it needs that place to to keep keep going.
00:26:19
Danny Price
Yes.
00:26:23
Shane
And so, you know, be the person that puts a stop to it. And and my my guess is if you just try to resolve like, oh, I'm not going to, I'm to tell my friends, I'm going to stop gossip. You're not, man, good.
00:26:36
Shane
maybe, maybe God will give you that strength that that you can overcome that. But that's, that is hard. Usually it means you have to be able to leave people behind. And I, I've left people behind before.
00:26:46
Shane
I've i've chosen not to get too close with friend groups because I'm like, it just, I, I've tried and it just, you just can see it's all, it's about, it's always about talking about other people.
00:26:53
Danny Price
yeah yeah
00:26:58
Shane
And the thing to remember is, talking about other people is like the lowest common denominator of, I hate to say it this way, but it's true it's the lowest common denominator of intelligence and and depth of conversation.
00:27:13
Shane
um
00:27:14
Danny Price
yeah
00:27:14
Shane
You know, because it's it's literally just, There's, there's no value in it, you know? Um, and what you said something else that I was like, man, that's it's such a good point.
00:27:28
Shane
Um, yeah, you, um, but it was, um, a lot, ah, dang it.
00:27:29
Danny Price
Oh, thanks. I say a lot of those, so it's hard to choose. I'm just kidding.
00:27:37
Shane
It, the idea that we, um, are, um, da dan it date the the week the i guess it's just I guess I'll just add that we oftentimes keep ourselves weak because we're unwilling to make the hard decisions to, to kind of move on.
00:27:59
Danny Price
m
00:28:00
Shane
And, um, yeah Oh, and that will, that's what, so the boy version, I would say, at least for me, when I was like in junior high, when I was in junior high, so I graduated from high school.
00:28:12
Shane
I didn't turn 17 until five months after I graduated from high school. um Which was not ah not a big problem in high school, but in middle school, it sucked because i was I was, you know, you're developing fast at that time. And I was so far behind every other boy in my group, my age group.
00:28:31
Shane
I mean, my group.
00:28:32
Danny Price
Physically?
00:28:33
Shane
Yeah, because I was, so when, you know, I didn't turn, so like I entered, so I entered seventh grade at 11 years old, you know, and, and, you know, so, and then I entered eighth grade at 12 years old.
00:28:37
Danny Price
Oh, interesting. OK.
00:28:40
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:28:42
Danny Price
Oh, wow. Yeah, totally. Yeah, no, totally makes sense. You're behind on puberty. Yeah.
00:28:47
Shane
I entered ninth grade at 13 where everyone else was like, like Angie was almost 15 when she entered ninth grade.
00:28:47
Danny Price
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
00:28:53
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:28:53
Shane
so
00:28:53
Danny Price
OK.
00:28:55
Shane
um So as a boy, you're you're just so far underdeveloped. And as a result, I got picked on in middle school. I got picked on a lot. you know Now, I grew up and got big and you know kind of one of the tougher guys. But but um in middle school, that was not the case.
00:29:11
Shane
And I found that, man, when someone else was getting picked on, i joined in because it meant and I'm not getting picked on.
00:29:18
Danny Price
As long as it's not me. Yep.
00:29:21
Shane
and
00:29:21
Danny Price
Yep.
00:29:22
Shane
um And I would say gossip is the same.
00:29:23
Danny Price
Yep.
00:29:25
Shane
It's the same thing. It's like we're just... We're, we're, we're, oh, they're not talking about, about me, but you need to know that, man, then the next moment you're, see, I grew up to be someone who defended people who got picked on.
00:29:38
Shane
Like I, you know, I got three fights in my senior year in high school and every single one of them had nothing to do with me. They had to do with someone being picked on. Um, and you know, i think as Christians, we need to mature spiritually mature enough to say, Hey, no, I, we, we're not going to do this.
00:29:54
Shane
I don't, we don't, we don't go here. I'm not going allow you to do this. I'm going to, you know, we're going to do take this to the source. We're going to deal with it. Um, we need to mature past picking on people because that's really really what we're doing with gossip.
00:30:07
Danny Price
Yeah, no. um When you were saying that, I was looking up some verses. This is just like, i love it. It's so simple. Proverbs 20, 19. A gossip portrays confidence, or portrays a confidence, so avoid anyone who talks too much. That's NIV.
00:30:22
Danny Price
So, I mean, yeah, just like this... i I'm passionate about this because I've seen this firsthand and how it ruins friendships and ruins things, especially from like a camp you know camp perspective you know and there's staff interactions. I've i've seen this happen. it's it's It's really tough. Don't join in.
00:30:38
Danny Price
Be bold. ah The person who builds others up is the kind of is the kind of person you want to be built. Not just to so you feel good about yourself, but I mean the person that builds people up very intentionally are all around them, not just you. You don't need just a Bessie that's just...
00:30:52
Danny Price
blowing smoke up you just going, Oh, you're just the best. You're the best thing at night. I'm not saying that I'm saying, find someone whose goal it it is to lower themselves and to raise others up because that's the kind of person who has your friend.
00:31:00
Shane
Yep.
00:31:02
Danny Price
Um, so anyways, um, next question I had, what is being a pastor taught you about communication in our words?
00:31:02
Shane
Yep.
00:31:04
Shane
Yep.
00:31:10
Danny Price
Can you give some examples of any lessons or things that we could learn from?
00:31:15
Shane
um Yeah, I said this in a sermon, but you know i i get I deal with, I would say close to 100 what would be considered pretty sensitive situations a year, you know, um, marriages, family situations, people losing jobs, uh, mental illness, you know, suicidal thoughts, you know, all, all this kind of stuff.
00:31:29
Danny Price
Mm-hmm.
00:31:39
Shane
And more often than not, I have, I've, I've just learned wisdom is, is, is keeping it to myself. And like I said, counting it in honor that someone trusts you with something.
00:31:52
Shane
Um, and then doing our best to, Just keep it to ourselves and pray about it, you know, and, um, you know, carry that burden with the person. Um,
00:32:06
Shane
You know, the other thing it's taught me just, and this is not necessarily about gossip, but you know, when you talk about, about our communication and our words, the other thing it's taught me is sometimes when people do share something with you, you don't have to have anything to really share.
00:32:20
Shane
You can just pray with them. You know, I, the idea was so many situations where I feel so ill-equipped in talking to people about stuff. Cause I'm like, man, I haven't been there. I don't, I don't know exactly. I don't know what you're going through, you know? Um,
00:32:34
Shane
And I used to feel like I had to have some word of wisdom to share with them. Sometimes the wisdom is, is listening a hand on the shoulder and then saying, can I pray for you?
00:32:44
Danny Price
Hmm. Interesting.
00:32:45
Shane
You know? Um, and so that's, I guess, uh, the, the biggest things I've learned, um, you know, and then, um, yeah, other than that, um,
00:33:01
Shane
really just being a person that gets that you, you don't need to share the things that you know with other people. um It's, it's okay to just have that.
00:33:11
Shane
And, and honestly, I think sometimes to just know God, God can use that to mature you by, by holding that, like, you know, he'll, he'll mature you through not always feeling like you got to get something out. Cause the reason we do it is sometimes we just, it makes us feel better to get something out. And sometimes maybe God wants you to sit in it and just pray, pray a lot about it, you know, versus just talking to somebody who can't do anything about it.
00:33:39
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:33:40
Shane
So anyway.
00:33:42
Danny Price
No, that's good. I like that about sitting with someone and not feeling like you have to say things. Um, cause I think that that, like, I think you're right. And I've noticed that not that like, you're not that like you're faking it until you make it type of thing, but some,
00:33:58
Danny Price
I think we're oftentimes when we we feel this pressure and I feel this because I'm one of those people that doesn't doesn't like like just silence or awkwardness. I think we you like to fill space or at least people like me like to fill space with just talking 24 seven and just I got to babble. I got to say I got to say something because otherwise it's going to be awkward.
00:34:15
Danny Price
And then a lot of times, you know, it's it's useless words are not useless, but you know it's not meaningful. And I think think you're totally right. I think if you do have something to say, you say it and that you know people will respect you more.
00:34:27
Danny Price
And you that's a better leadership model because you know people will take what you're saying for granted if you're actually saying it from a place we were thinking about it. um I always pay attention more whenever people are They think about, like i like I ask a question or I ask something, and then they think about it for a second, and then they answer.
00:34:46
Danny Price
That just to me always is like, oh, wow, that person is not... they don't They're not just like right ready just to say, oh, yeah, totally, let me let let me get me dive into all this and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:34:50
Shane
Yeah.
00:34:54
Danny Price
It's like, oh, that's a good question. Let me think about that. And then they have an answer. And they're still over to speak. I always am ah very impressed by someone who does that because I'm like, oh, actually... that That's an answer. that's not something They thought about that.
00:35:04
Danny Price
They're they're not just you know right away with the talking points that they have preloaded.
00:35:07
Shane
Yep.
00:35:10
Danny Price
um And that it shows that you're actually listening to their question too.
00:35:11
Shane
Yep.
00:35:13
Danny Price
so
00:35:13
Shane
Well, and I think also sometimes when we just feel a need to fill the space, it's easy it's easy to be tempted tempted into just saying these placating Christianese little, like, sayings.
00:35:25
Danny Price
and God's got this.
00:35:28
Shane
Yeah, God's got this.
00:35:28
Danny Price
God's got this.
00:35:30
Shane
God's got your, you know, God's not going give you more than you can handle. yeah and And sometimes, man, when you're in when someone's in the middle something really tough, that – i I don't know about you, but for me, I i have words for in going through my head when somebody says things like that to me.
00:35:41
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:35:44
Danny Price
yeah Yeah.
00:35:46
Shane
So so sometimes i I just want someone to listen. I actually go into a couple of things right now that have been kind of tough. And and i called i had ah I was on the phone with a friend this morning that literally knows nobody in the church who
00:35:55
Danny Price
yeah
00:36:04
Shane
he's kind of my, can, I can talk to him about stuff because he doesn't know anyone. He doesn't live, you know, he lives in a different state and he's just another Christian friend.
00:36:10
Danny Price
Yeah. who
00:36:14
Shane
And, um, and, uh, so I can just share when I'm going through things and like, especially if it does affect, you know, affect someone else. And, um,
00:36:25
Shane
you know And he even said today, he goes, man, that's tough. And I really don't know what to say. and and I was like, you don't have to. you don't have to say anything.
00:36:31
Danny Price
okay yeah
00:36:33
Shane
It's okay. just If you'll pray for me, I'd really appreciate it. But but it just it helped me to to share it with you because I know that I can share it with you. And you, it's in no way...
00:36:44
Shane
you know, affects anybody because you have no idea what I'm talking about, who I'm talking about or what. And, um you know, and, ah you know, so for him just to listen, you know, takes it off, takes it off of me sometimes.
00:36:58
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:36:58
Shane
So.
00:36:58
Danny Price
no I mean, what does it say to weep with those that weep, um, rejoice with those who rejoice with rejoicing, but we put those who weep.
00:37:02
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. Rejoice.
00:37:05
Danny Price
Um, yeah, it's, you know, lament lamentations, you know, lamenting with someone. I think it's, I think it's a good practice just to be able to empathize and just listen and go, you know, I know that's not exactly where we were going this with it originally, but it's an interesting idea.
00:37:15
Shane
Yeah.
00:37:20
Shane
yeah
00:37:20
Danny Price
Um, well, thanks for that. That was that was good. Um, This is a broad question. I just was curious. Really, that and I guess i I worded this a little bit differently on the question to actually how what I was trying to communicate. But the gist of this question was,
00:37:35
Danny Price
What does a biblical model of using your words and communicating, how does that differ than the way our current culture and secular society um has us using our words and communicating and how we see this practice in the world around us? What's the difference between how we should talk and should speak with each other versus what the world kind of models and and in encourage and encourages?
00:38:01
Shane
Okay. Um, yeah, I mean, I, I guess definitely, I would say the world tells us a lot of different things in what the the word tells us. Um, you know, uh,
00:38:15
Shane
you know, Jesus, I don't know. Where is it? We're, um, think, yeah, it's Jesus that says, um, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I don't, I remember the verse I could have, should looked up, but, um,
00:38:26
Danny Price
I'll get you. Luke 645. forty five
00:38:29
Shane
Okay. um You know, that to me, that's such a reminder that what comes out of our mouth really does show who we are um in in so many ways. um And so,
00:38:44
Shane
um you know, and the world just kind of like I alluded to this in the sermon. It's like we give credence to those with the loudest voices and the strongest opinions.
00:38:56
Shane
And that's not necessarily what God calls us to be with our words.
00:39:00
Danny Price
yeah
00:39:01
Shane
um You know, God calls us to use our words for accountability, um you know, when and that we should be held accountable in our words. um You know, ah God's word calls us to restraint in our words.
00:39:16
Shane
Um, you know, kind of like you even just mentioned the person who waits a minute before they answer. Um, you know, there's,
00:39:21
Danny Price
yeah
00:39:24
Shane
I think that kind of restraint could be practiced a lot in a lot of different ways, um you know, versus we feel like we have to be immediate to get out a response. You know, who he who gets out the the wittiest and fastest response wins, right?
00:39:37
Danny Price
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep.
00:39:39
Shane
um and But that's not at all what the the Bible teaches us to be slow to speak and quick to listen, um you know, so that we should be thoughtful.
00:39:39
Danny Price
yep
00:39:49
Shane
The Bible teaches us that we should be edifying in our speech, right? And, you know, once again, and, you know, this this is where I hate politics nowadays because, you know,
00:40:04
Shane
i i remember I remember when political campaigns and stuff kind of made the switch in the, it felt like the 90s, early 90s, late 80s, where used to be people running would, the ads would be based on what they believed in and who they were and what they were running for.
00:40:23
Shane
And now the ads and the things that people say are all why other people suck. Yeah.
00:40:29
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:40:29
Shane
And, you know, they just look for ways to put each other down instead of saying, Hey, here's, here's what I want to accomplish. Here's what I want to do. and you know, it's about, it doesn't have to be about beating down the other side, you know?
00:40:43
Danny Price
Yeah, no.
00:40:43
Shane
Um, and, um, yeah. So, I mean, those, those would be some of the key things that i would, I would say the Bible teaches versus what our culture teaches. don't know. Is that kind of, am I answering what you're asking?
00:40:54
Danny Price
No, that's exactly what I was that's what i was exactly what i was looking for.
00:40:55
Shane
Okay. Okay.
00:40:58
Danny Price
There's so many voices. and and i because i think The reason I'm asking this in my head, I was like, I think everybody universally dislikes a gossip, even people who are completely worldly and secular and you know completely atheist. and like there's There is no God, but i don't like people who gossip.
00:41:12
Danny Price
um And yet, there's certain biblical standards of speech that God lays out, like you were saying, that people don't adhere to.
00:41:21
Shane
Yeah.
00:41:22
Danny Price
And so I'm just like, where is where is that line? Because I think there's certain no one likes it if they get yelled at. Right. Or no one likes someone who's just angry or you know vile with their word. Well, for the most part, no one likes anyone who's vile with their words.
00:41:32
Shane
Mm-hmm.
00:41:33
Danny Price
But there are things that the Bible does call us to do just beyond just that. And so I just wanted to kind of draw the line from what's you know culturally acceptable and what's actually biblical.
00:41:42
Shane
I...
00:41:44
Shane
Yeah. um One of the one Proverbs that there again, i had another one I didn't use. I got pulled up some of these ones I have. I didn't use um ah that kind of goes to what we're saying here. Proverbs 16, 24. Gracious words are like a honeycomb.
00:42:00
Shane
And, you know, just that, I don't know.
00:42:00
Danny Price
m
00:42:03
Shane
We just, we don't have a lot of gracious words in our culture. And it feels like lately, you know, and, um, you know, especially, you know, with the internet and all all the people commenting on, you know, if you read through, i I get stuck.
00:42:09
Danny Price
Oh, yeah.
00:42:17
Shane
I catch myself sometimes reading comments on videos or whatever. And I'm like, why do I do that? Cause
00:42:22
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:42:23
Shane
You know, there's just so many people that just they they just they just take pride in being total jerks, you know.
00:42:23
Danny Price
It's the worst.
00:42:30
Danny Price
Or else the worst.
00:42:30
Shane
And so anyway.
00:42:32
Danny Price
No, I agree. i think James lays it up pretty well just of how like you know the just the tongue is...
00:42:38
Shane
Oh, yeah. The power of the tongue.
00:42:39
Danny Price
you who can tame, who can tame the tongue.
00:42:40
Shane
Yeah.
00:42:41
Danny Price
um And I would even say the extension of the tongue is internet comments. I mean, that's, you know, you're speaking, and even though it's not in person, I think, um honestly, I think it's even harder to control your, the internet um commenting type of thing, because it's so much less confrontational than if you to say those same things in person, half the stuff we say online, we probably would never would say in person to anybody.
00:42:46
Shane
Yeah.
00:43:03
Danny Price
um But it's so much easier type something.
00:43:03
Shane
Yeah.
00:43:05
Danny Price
So I think that's just an extension, but man, yeah, who can, who can tame the tongue? It's, that's so That's really tough. But yeah, no, i think you answered that great. I don't have anything else to add to that. Next question I had, this is from Zach. um i thought it was a great question.
00:43:18
Danny Price
So this whole time we've been talking about, you know, gossip, ruining relationships, you know, what to do, what not to do. This question was great. And so I'm just to read it. What he what he said verbatim. um What are pathways of healing and restoration after offense has been made due to unwise words or gossip? What are ways to rebuild trust?
00:43:39
Shane
Well, um you know, it this is we're going to talk about this in this week's sermon. um And I would say confession and forgiveness are are two of the keys.
00:43:45
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:43:50
Shane
where where One of the key points of this week's sermon is how, you know, can the practices of confession and forgiveness are... um are in many ways that I think the bedrock of a strong relationship.
00:44:06
Shane
um Because we're talking about relationships this week. And, you know, because the truth is, are, we I think, i I've never met the person who's never going to gossip.
00:44:20
Shane
Um, but man, it makes a big difference if you can go to the person and go, Hey, I i need to ask your forgiveness.
00:44:20
Danny Price
Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:25
Shane
I, I did this and you know, um, versus denying it, right? We have so many people, Oh, I didn't gossip. I, man, you don have any idea how many times I've heard so much gossip in church?
00:44:36
Shane
Then when I confront the people, no, nobody will own up to actually gossiping. You know, not nobody. did I'm saying sometimes I have had it, but I've had situations where I'm like, OK, obviously, at least half the people in this room have gossiped.
00:44:45
Danny Price
yeah
00:44:50
Shane
Otherwise, this would not be. had And everyone just looks around like, what?
00:44:51
Danny Price
Yeah. I mean, I've gossiped. I i know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.
00:44:56
Shane
Gossip? No. Oh, no, I haven't done that.
00:44:57
Danny Price
Not here. Not at Mountain View.
00:44:58
Shane
yeah So. um
00:45:01
Danny Price
Say it isn't so. Yeah.
00:45:02
Shane
You know, so to have a good relationship, we have to just be humble enough to go, man, I, yeah, I, I blow it and I need to confess that. And, you know, and man, I gained so much more trust for someone when they do that.
00:45:10
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:45:14
Shane
I get that people are going to blow it. You know, it's kind of like what i I tell my kids, all, all my kids have known, like, man, I, I know you're going to blow it. I, I kind of expect you to blow it.
00:45:25
Shane
i But I want to trust you. And the way I trust you is when I do confront you on blowing it, or even maybe even better, before you're confronted, come and confess.
00:45:33
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:45:35
Shane
You know, just say what you did. And man, it it raises trust tenfold when you confess a sin, you know.
00:45:42
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:45:44
Shane
yeah. so ah That I would say is for me, that's that's the biggest way. And in offering forgiveness when someone does care enough to do that.
00:45:57
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:45:59
Shane
so
00:45:59
Danny Price
No, that's it's good. And I think part of the restoration... Like the next step is. You're not just the kind of person that heats up quickly and you know gossips and goes, oh my gosh, I blew it. I'm so sorry.
00:46:15
Danny Price
And then you go seek forgiveness and then you just go right back to doing it again. But learning from your mistakes and slowing your words down and catching yourself, I think that shows a mark of maturity is not making the same mistake over and over and over again.
00:46:25
Shane
Mm-hmm.
00:46:28
Danny Price
Because I think at some point, if you continue to make the mistake over and over again and you're just like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I gossip. And then you go right back to doing it. I'm like, at some point, you're not learning your lesson. you're At some point, you're just... Continuing on in your same pattern.
00:46:41
Danny Price
So again, just taking you know what James says about the tongue, being slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to speak. And man, if I could if i could master that, i i would that would solve so many of my problems that I have in sins that I commit. Because so much of it has to do with words that I say.
00:46:54
Danny Price
And as soon as it gets out, I'm like, why did I say that? I should not have said that. That was a mistake. Sometimes I don't recognize it right away.
00:47:00
Shane
Oh yeah, no.
00:47:00
Danny Price
But a lot of times I do. And I'm like, man, if I was just slower to talk, it would be much better for Danny. um
00:47:06
Shane
I think those of us that recognize that we are, we are talkers. I think most of us catch ourselves a lot, like go and afterwards go, man, why?
00:47:12
Danny Price
m
00:47:15
Shane
I mean, yeah there are so many times I will leave a situation and go, why did you feel the need to say that you are such an idiot?
00:47:22
Danny Price
ah
00:47:24
Shane
um You know, and then I try to do my best to remember to go to you know, ask forgiveness and confess to the person, you know, but um I and I'm sure there's lots of times I don't.
00:47:25
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:47:36
Danny Price
Yeah, no.
00:47:39
Danny Price
That's good. That's good. I do have one more question and we can go really quick and then we'll we'll we end. will be the last one. go quickly. um This is also from Zach and I wanted to read it. Just what he said.
00:47:50
Danny Price
and MVF has focused recently on transformation versus behavior modification. How can we set a course towards transformation in the area of our words and specifically gossip, avoiding all the traps of behavior modification?
00:48:04
Danny Price
For me, this seems like a really easy area to make rules and put up fences and apply willpower to start try to stay between the lines without allowing the Holy Spirit to teach and grow our hearts. Which I thought was a good question to end on, just because, ah like, kind of looking forward, how do you not make it just about, okay, just don't just don't don't say things and it's okay, and behavior modification.
00:48:16
Shane
Yeah.
00:48:22
Shane
Yeah. Well, I, uh, ah One of the things I saw last week in my study was, ah it it's just kind of a catchy thing. I'll probably, I might use it this week actually, but words words are the fruit, not the root.
00:48:34
Danny Price
Oh.
00:48:38
Shane
um
00:48:38
Danny Price
Ooh, that's good.
00:48:38
Shane
And so it, ah it's kind of a, I saw in a, someone's comment on that Matthew 12 verse that we were talking about where he's, ah or actually, I guess you said Luke six, but it's also Matthew 12 out of the abundance of the heart mouth speaks.
00:48:47
Danny Price
a
00:48:53
Danny Price
Right.
00:48:54
Shane
Yeah. Um, so, you know, I think just to remember that we, we got to start with the heart, you know, um, what the, if we are, if we have a continual problem with our words, um, you know, it it it is a reflection of our heart.
00:48:55
Danny Price
Yeah.
00:49:02
Danny Price
Hmm.
00:49:12
Shane
It's not just the words. so So this is where it kind of does go to our thoughts, what we allow our minds to dwell on, how we how we think, how we, um you know, what how we guard our hearts, all all those things.
00:49:26
Shane
so So it kind of, I believe, starts with that. And, you know, and then um Ephesians 4.22 says this. it's I'll read through, I think, twenty five It says, um put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and be renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self created after the likeness of God and true righteousness and holiness.
00:49:55
Shane
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth to his with his neighbor. For we are members of one members, one of another. And, you know, just that idea that it it starts with.
00:50:09
Shane
you know, the putting off of our old self, recognizing our sinful nature, repenting first before Christ, you know, um and, and turning it over to him and allowing him to make us new in our hearts. And, you know, and I find the things that we're, I'm really bad at that.
00:50:30
Shane
I don't, I am, I do not think unless Christ does a miracle on me, it's, I'm ever going to see those things really fully overcome in this lifetime. And so that means part of the battle is just, it's a continual thing. It's continually renewing myself before Christ and it's continually trusting him. It's continually confessing and, and just recognizing this is part of who it's part of a process that, and the more I do that, the more I grow, the more i actually become who he wants me to be. Um,
00:51:05
Shane
You know, i I'm a, I, like we both said, what we're both talkers. I'm, I kind of, especially coming into my walk with Christ, very flippant with my words. um You know, i was you know, before I became a Christian, i was a constant, you know, swear words, constant, every sarcastic mean thing I could say to somebody, um loved being though the most obnoxious person in the room kind of guy. And, um,
00:51:39
Shane
And, you know, I still fall fall in all those areas at times, but i I definitely know I have grown and I can definitely see the work of Christ in it um working in me because i've I recognize those are characteristics of my old self.
00:51:44
Danny Price
yeah
00:51:58
Shane
And so I daily need to be renewed before Christ.
00:52:02
Danny Price
yeah that's really good i don't have a whole lot to add to that um i'm gonna read just to kind of end this out just uh when it you know has having to do with words, this is Ephesians, this is Ephesians 5, and this is verse 15.
00:52:19
Danny Price
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, which is great for what we're reading. Verse 16, making the best of the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit, addressing one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart.
00:52:39
Danny Price
giving thanks always for everything to God, the father, the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ submitting to one another out of the reverence for Christ, which we know we went through Ephesians recently. Um, but that just hold that whole chunk right there. I think just Christian living, um, a note note noticing the whole being filled with the spirit. And then that leads into how you address one another. That kind of comes first. Um, don't know that to me, that gives just a lot of clarity on what ah that whole little chunk right there. That little paragraph just is a very good,
00:53:06
Danny Price
um very good description of what it looks like to be a Christian within the church and how you, how you live, right. And being, being, being watchful about how you live as well. So, yeah.
00:53:16
Shane
Yeah. Yep.
00:53:18
Danny Price
um Anything else you want to add just as we finish out the episode?
00:53:18
Shane
Good stuff.
00:53:22
Shane
Now just looking forward this week's, uh, I, I'm kind of glad I switched the weeks around because this week is on relationships, which in many ways is kind of a part two on your thoughts and words.
00:53:33
Danny Price
Totally. Totally. It is totally. It is.
00:53:35
Shane
So it's kind of an extension.
00:53:36
Danny Price
That's good.
00:53:37
Shane
So it works good, but, uh, no, looking forward to the week on relationships and,
00:53:42
Danny Price
Cool, cool.
00:53:42
Shane
um, yeah, I'm getting ready to head out of town tomorrow to go to a, uh, the thrive conference. So I'll be excited about that.
00:53:49
Danny Price
Oh, that's right.
00:53:49
Shane
Maybe i can share a couple of things on that next week and, uh, yeah.
00:53:52
Danny Price
No, I'd love that. That'd be really good. Well, good. um Appreciate you guys all listening. Hope you guys are, you know whether you're in the car or at home or you know if you're listening with other people, hope you guys are being encouraged by this.
00:54:04
Danny Price
Yeah. Again, just as always, you know, pass this on to your friends and, you know, especially, and if I've, I keep mentioning, like giving us questions, but you know, if you have any comments or any ideas of, you know, things that we could do, you know, we're, I'm always interested in hearing, even though we, we might not do it.
00:54:20
Danny Price
I'm always interested in hearing thoughts. um So I appreciate you guys. And a lot of you guys that have been supporting us for a while, it's really, really cool just see this grow. You know, it's growing slowly, but it just grow a little bit. It's really cool.
00:54:29
Shane
Yeah.
00:54:29
Danny Price
So appreciate you all. And we will see you guys again next week. Bye-bye.
00:54:33
Shane
right. See you.