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15. The One About Building Habits That Stick
23 Plays1 month ago
I’m excited to dive into today’s topic: habits—the good, the bad, and the ones we’re working on reshaping.
In this episode, I share my personal journey of creating new, healthy habits while gently letting go of those that don’t serve me. From setting realistic goals (like two gym sessions a week) to navigating the resistance our minds naturally put up when change feels uncomfortable, we’ll explore how to build consistency, integrity, and self-trust over time.
We’ll talk about:
✨ Why our brains resist change—and how to work with that, not against it
✨ How small, realistic steps can help habits actually stick
✨ The power of accountability and integrity in following through
✨ My own examples (gym, beach walks, chocolate!) and what’s been working for me
✨ Simple strategies you can use to create lasting change without overwhelm
Plus, I share details about my free webinar happening Friday, 5th September: How Stress Affects Your Body (and How to Fix It). This webinar is the perfect lead-in to my brand-new six-week program designed to help you regulate, reset, and reclaim your spark.
🎧 Whether you’re looking to add something positive into your week or gently reduce habits that aren’t serving you, this episode is a reminder to start small, stay consistent, and be kind to yourself in the process.
👉 Links & Resources:
- Register for the free webinar: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/1225418/164024254697833698/share
- Connect with me on Instagram: @the.victoria.r
- Learn more about my coaching and programs: www.victoria-r.com.au
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Transcript
Introduction and Updates
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Mindful Educator podcast. I'm so glad to be back on the mic. um I've had couple of weeks off, um so it's been really good just getting some ideas together and some stuff that I want to share with you guys. And there's a lot that's been happening behind the scenes as well.
Webinar Announcement
00:00:56
Victoria R
And one of the things that I wanted to let you know about is This coming Friday, 5th of September, um I'm hosting a free webinar all about um how stress affects your body and how to fix it. So this is going to be leading into a new six-week program that I am developing, which I am so excited about.
00:01:15
Victoria R
um And it's pretty much just focusing on how to, suppose, navigate the stress that we come across all the time and ways that we can um regulate ourselves through them as well. And this is something that obviously I have been doing a lot of study and um self-development and my own my own work around these areas as well. And I'm really excited to be able to teach this to everyone too. So if you are interested in coming along to the free webinar, I'll pop the link in the show notes.
00:01:46
Victoria R
And if you do, I look forward to seeing you there.
Understanding Habit Formation
00:01:49
Victoria R
But today's episode is going to be all about habits. And I really wanted to talk to you about this because this is something that I am in the process of trying to kick a few not so great habits to the curb and bring in some more of those healthier habits for longevity and to increase my productivity and all the rest of it. And I wanted to just chat to you guys about that as well.
00:02:11
Victoria R
So obviously when we are trying to create new habits, we find that it can be a really difficult thing to do, which is understandable because our minds are kind of wired to protect us from things that maybe feel a little bit foreign or aren't things that we're
Mind's Resistance to Change
00:02:31
Victoria R
used to. So kind of goes into protective mode. So it's understandable that when we are trying to create new habits, that there is a little bit of resistance from our minds.
00:02:40
Victoria R
And it's not a bad thing. It's just a case of whenever we're trying to step out of our comfort zone in any way, our mind is automatically... um program to protect us from that. And it's like I said, it's not a bad thing. It just means that we kind of have to go, okay, I'm okay to do this and kind of push through.
00:02:58
Victoria R
So and knows what to expect in the comfort zone, which is why as soon as we kind of step into either that fear or that learning zone, in our mind's like, ah, let's go back there. And this is where we're like, no, no, we're not, we're not hating on our mind or our brain for doing this. It's just the way it works.
00:03:14
Victoria R
And right. But we can acknowledge it. We can thank it. And we can go, you know what? I'm going to keep going anyway. And I'm going to keep trying to build these new and better habits that I want for my life.
Balancing Exercise and Life
00:03:25
Victoria R
So for me personally, one of the things that I've really been wanting to focus on is my exercise and movement. So this is one of those things that I do love and I love moving my body and I love different types of exercise, but it's also one of the first things to kind of fall into to the side when things get a little bit busier than normal.
00:03:47
Victoria R
And so for me, the last ah probably month or two, I've really been focusing on just trying to be consistent as possible in focusing on two gym sessions a week and one beach walk. That's all. i haven't I haven't done too much more than that. I didn't want to overwhelm my brain because that's another thing. If we try and overhaul everything all at once, it's not going to work. our Our bodies, our minds, they can't really handle that too much. And again, it's going to push you back into your comfort zone where it knows that it's going to be okay.
Small Steps in Habit Building
00:04:19
Victoria R
And so for me, it's just been okay. Two gym sessions a week is manageable. And I don't have set days for these. for me, it's literally looking at the week ahead, sometimes even the morning of, depending on how I've slept, what my family is up to, what the day looks like and being flexible with that as well. So yesterday it was a beach walk day. Today i had planned to go to the gym, but there is a lot happening at the moment. So for me it was like, okay, I'm going to shuffle that a little bit.
00:04:51
Victoria R
Today has purely been work day, which isn't normal for me. Normally I do kind of break it up somehow, but I know that there's a few deadlines and stuff that I need to meet. So I'm going to be moving that to tomorrow.
00:05:04
Victoria R
So Wednesday and Saturday are going to be my gym days this week. So it's kind of been nice and flexible with what's happening with life. Last week was a bit different as well. We had my children have their athletics carnival and their jumps day.
00:05:18
Victoria R
So again, i kind of, you know, worked it around. made it fit in with my schedule as um best as possible. And i actually managed three gym days last week, despite all that, which I was like, woohoo. anything else is bonus.
00:05:31
Victoria R
As long as I can kind of do those two, it means that it's affirming to me that i can keep my word as well because that's a really big thing too. When we're trying to create new habits or um new things that we're doing in our life or, you know, i get rid of maybe some bad habits, we almost need to build up that evidence that we can do that.
00:05:52
Victoria R
And if I had said to myself at the start, okay, I'm going to do five gym sessions a week and if I hadn't hit that, straightaway I'm like, oh, well, I can't stick to it. I can't do this.
00:06:05
Victoria R
What's the point? You know, and it's almost like I've set myself up to fail from the beginning.
Neural Pathways and Habit Formation
00:06:10
Victoria R
Whereas if I'm just doing it a small, manageable kind of step in the right direction, it really helps reaffirm to myself that, yes, this can be done.
00:06:23
Victoria R
And it's slowly rebuilding those pathways in my mind that this is a habit that we do every single week. So no matter what, every week I go to the gym twice a week. All right. And that's what is obviously that habit stacking as well, because it's really great. what We've got these neurons in our mind that connect to form new pathways, but like anything, it takes time. So imagine that you're, you know, you're walking on a bush track to the beach every day, you know, and at first you're that you can't even tell that you've walked through the bush all right but if you take that same path every time you go down to the beach eventually the path will start to appear and then you know after so long of doing it that path is really clear and you don't even have to think twice about where you start and where you're in you just jump on the path off you go you're at the beach and our mind and our neurons and how we connect the pathways and form the pathways in there are very much the same
00:07:17
Victoria R
it's going to feel really clunky at the start. It does feel really clunky whenever we're starting any new habit or when we're trying to um change a habit slightly. Our minds, their pathways aren't fully formed.
00:07:30
Victoria R
Whereas the more we keep doing it, the stronger that pathway is going to get. And it also means that it's reaffirming to us. Yes, we can keep doing this. We can do these things. And We've got the evidence because look, I have been to the gym twice every week for the last few months.
00:07:48
Victoria R
So that habit is building. I'm habit stacking. I'm like getting there. So strong pathways, these strong pathways in our mind are built by whatever we're doing the most.
00:07:59
Victoria R
So that also means on the other side of the spectrum is if we've got these not so great habits, we've still got those pathways
Changing Unhelpful Habits
00:08:07
Victoria R
for them. So if we're trying to change, I say bad habits, but you know, i the habits that maybe aren't serving you the best, they're not necessarily bad, some might be, but they could just be ones that aren't serving you the best. So if, for example, you're finding that you are constantly on your phone every night before you go to sleep.
00:08:25
Victoria R
All right. So that's one of your habits. trying to change that habit will take time. That is a really strong pathway that's been formed in your mind. So now if you're going to try and change that your mind will be like oh no no like what are what are you doing all the things will start going oh can't do this like where's my phone bring it back to me so you start off slowly you might go okay I am going to you know either stop looking at my phone an hour before I go to bed or I'm going to put it in a different part of the room and it's going to feel really foreign it's going to feel a bit weird um
00:09:01
Victoria R
It's going to be like, oh, gosh, I don't know about this because you're kind of doing something that's ah unexpected. That's, you know, you've been in the comfort zone of having your phone before bed every single night for the last, you know, however long it's been. And now you're wanting me to do something different.
00:09:16
Victoria R
I don't think so And this is when you'll find all these excuses creeping and you'll be like, oh, but. What was if, you know, someone contacts me or what was if this happens or that happens? And our minds are wonderful at coming up with these things. They really are.
00:09:29
Victoria R
But this is where you need to kind of be like, uh-uh, this isn't what I'm making like. I'm making a new habit for myself. It's not going to be easy. I understand you're trying to protect me, but I am going to make sure that I'm not having my phone before I go to bed.
00:09:44
Victoria R
Now, this is just one example. Obviously, it could be anything. For me personally, another one that I am really trying to focus on at the moment is cutting back on how much chocolate I have. I love chocolate. I'm not going to lie. It is my thing. I could just have it all the time.
00:09:59
Victoria R
ah But for me, I need to make sure that I'm not having as much or if I am having chocolate, that it's going to be um the darker chocolate. And so again, everything comes in and you're like, oh, I'm really craving it or this or that. And you're like, is it really a craving or am I just thirsty? Or, you know, can I distract myself or can i you know, go get a different snack or whatever it might be. So having all these other things in place to kind of help you when you are trying to change habits or form different habits is a really good thing to do as well.
Accountability in Habits
00:10:28
Victoria R
So if whatever your goal is, whatever you're wanting to change, if who knows, maybe you don't have anything to change at all. I don't know. But if you try think of ways that you can at least be kept accountable as well. So for me, I could easily ask someone to be a gym buddy for me if that's what I wanted to do.
00:10:46
Victoria R
For me at the moment, it's fine though because I'm literally like, okay, I've got half an hour, I'm going. So I don't really need that at the moment. But in the past, that has worked really, really well for me.
00:10:56
Victoria R
And I know that I've definitely had – accountability buddies that have been like, you know, come on, let's let's go. We're meeting at whatever time in the morning and, you know, we go get our workouts done. So it really just depends on what you need at that time.
00:11:10
Victoria R
But just know that whenever you are going to be forming these new habits, that there will be some resistance. It is totally normal and there is definitely a way around it.
Timeline for Habit Formation
00:11:21
Victoria R
And also that, of course, it's going to take a while for those new pathways to form. So I think There's lots of different research about how long it actually takes ah for a new habit to stick.
00:11:34
Victoria R
But I know it probably will be at least probably six to eight weeks, if not short, if not long, depending on how frequently you do it. Because obviously your mind has to get used to doing that.
00:11:47
Victoria R
And I say that like the longer you do it, the easier it is going to be, which is the truth because obviously those pathways are going to be formed. It's going to be like second nature to you after a while, much like it is cleaning our teeth in the morning. How many of us actually even think about the fact that we do that?
00:12:03
Victoria R
It's so ingrained in us now that we just do it. There's no no doubting, no second guessing as to why or why we wouldn't be cleaning our teeth. We literally just go and do it because that is the habit that has been formed.
00:12:16
Victoria R
over many, many years. So that's what we eventually want to get to with these different habits
Setting Personal Fitness Goals
00:12:22
Victoria R
that we want. So for me personally, I want it to be a case of no matter what, I'll be going to the gym twice a week.
00:12:29
Victoria R
All right. Even if I do five sessions a week, awesome. Like that's a great week. If I don't, that's okay. If I only manage the two, so be it. But at least I know that I'm able to achieve that.
00:12:40
Victoria R
And Like I said, the other one that I included in there is my beach walks because I do love my beach walks. If I do extra walks during the week, again, yay, that's great.
00:12:51
Victoria R
If I don't manage to get to the beach though, because I know obviously sometimes the weather, we can't necessarily help that. I have, especially a few the last few weeks when it has been raining an awful lot here, it's just been a case of going to the gym and walking on the treadmill.
00:13:07
Victoria R
I don't love that. I'm going to be honest. I don't love walking on the treadmill for, you know, half an hour or 40 minutes or whatever it might be. It does bore me very much. But it still means that I'm getting that walk in and I'm still building that consistency in what I want to do. I'm still having that integrity within myself that I am able to follow through on my word.
00:13:28
Victoria R
And that has been a really big thing that I have been learning and challenging myself with the last few weeks, because it is like that. It's like, you're not keeping your word to yourself if you're not going to follow through on what you've said you're going to do.
Self-Integrity in Habits
00:13:42
Victoria R
So having that integrity within yourself is such a huge thing. Because as soon as you've got that, you know that what you say is going to happen. You know that if you say something that you're going to do it.
00:13:55
Victoria R
And there's no doubt. There's no, oh, will I, won't I? It's a case of, yeah, I've said it, so I'm going to do it. And building these habits and those habit stacking moments is going to all help with that as well. So it's kind of that flow on effect that we have.
Identifying and Implementing Habit Changes
00:14:11
Victoria R
So, I'd love you guys to think about now what are perhaps some habits that you would like to bring into your week or what are some habits that you might like to remove from your week?
00:14:24
Victoria R
And just have a think about this and go, right, so you've got whatever it is. And now I want you to think really realistically, what could you achieve in a week? I know we have these grand plans, but I want you to be really realistic. Even if you think, oh, yes, I can do this three times.
00:14:42
Victoria R
I want you maybe just to pare it back and maybe go once or twice. All right. Depending on what it is. All right. Or if you say, oh I'm never going to eat this again. Let's reframe that ah because if you tell yourself you're trying restricting yourself from something, very good chance you're going to later, no matter what it is, whether it's food, whether it's like, you know, your phone, whether it's something else, let's just try and narrow it down and say, okay, for this week, I just am going to make sure that um instead of having 15 pieces of chocolate, I'm going to have maybe seven.
00:15:21
Victoria R
All right. So you kind of have it. All right. Or, you know, instead of if you, you know, I don't know if anyone actually smokes or whatever, but you know, instead of having, you know, i pack a day, I'm going to cut it down to like a pack every two days. I don't know, depending on what it is that you're looking at. So try and be realistic in how you're going to create these new habits. Because like I said, if you try and go all gung rehaul everything nine times out of 10, turns around and kicks you in the butt because it's not gonna work like that.
00:15:55
Victoria R
You will fall back into your old patterns and your old habits because it's too much too fast and your mind goes into protection mode. It doesn't like it. It's gonna pull you back.
00:16:06
Victoria R
And all of the excuses and everything else will start. So please be realistic. But whatever you decide you'd like to focus on for your habits, I'd love you to let me know. And if you would like some accountability,
00:16:19
Victoria R
reach out because I'm more than happy to check in with you on this as well, because it's so important that we are, um, upfront and honest about these. And sometimes it can be just the case of someone going, Oh, Hey, how'd you go?
Conclusion and Upcoming Events
00:16:34
Victoria R
And I was very lucky that I have had a coach that has helped me keep on track with my movement. Um, habits as well she's been like okay send me a photo when you're at the beach and let me know when you're at the gym and it's actually been really good because then I can't just go you know you can't just push it under the rug i've been like no here you go you're like I've got the evidence for you and if it comes to like the Sunday and I'm like oh no I haven't done that quick I better go do it you know it means that you've kind of gone all right I've got someone that's going to check in and make sure that it's happened so I
00:17:08
Victoria R
Let me know what your habits are that you're either wanting to bring in or wanting to get rid of. All right. and feel free to keep me up to date with how you're going. And if you have any questions,
00:17:19
Victoria R
please reach out. You know where I am. I'll put it all in the show notes anyway. But I'm so excited to hear how everyone is going. and Obviously, spring is a great time to do this as well. The weather is warming up.
00:17:32
Victoria R
We're coming out of hibernation. ah We can really start getting focused on what we want to achieve and building that integrity within ourselves. So i can't wait to hear how everyone's going.
00:17:43
Victoria R
All right, have an amazing day wherever you are. For those of you that are going to come along to the webinar, I'll see you on Friday. And next week, I'll be releasing one of the episodes with one of the wonderful guests I've had over the last few weeks.
00:17:58
Victoria R
All right, guys, have a great day and I'll talk to you soon.