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18. The One With Coach Carly – Trauma, Change & Healing Through Energy
20 Plays25 days ago
This week on The Mindful Educator Podcast, I sit down with the incredible Carly Evans, better known as Coach Carly. With nearly two decades of experience as a trauma-informed coach, Reiki practitioner, and former parole officer, Carly brings a powerful blend of psychology, energy work, and lived experience to her work with women navigating change and healing.
What we cover in this conversation:
- Carly’s unique journey from the UK to Australia and from parole officer to coach and Reiki teacher
- Understanding trauma: big “T” and little “t” trauma, and why everyone experiences it in some form
- How change and identity loss can impact our wellbeing
- Why simple human connection and presence can be more powerful than “fixing” someone
- Parenting, resilience, and the reality that our kids will all have some form of trauma — and how mindfulness tools can help
- Practical strategies like EFT tapping and nervous system regulation for moving through difficult emotions
- Demystifying Reiki: what it is, how it works, and why even skeptics often walk away convinced
- The overlap between psychology, energy healing, and creating a life that truly feels like your own
- Challenging the overuse of labels and medication in the mental health system, and the importance of listening to your body
- Carly’s recommended read: Sexy But Psycho by Dr. Jessica Taylor - a must for any woman
Carly’s final piece of advice:
Ask yourself: If I 100% loved, honoured, trusted, and respected myself, how would my life be different?
It’s a question that can shift everything - from the decisions you make to the people you allow into your life.
Connect with Carly:
- 🌐 Website: coachcarly.com
- 📱 Instagram: @coachcarlyevans
- 💻 Facebook: Coach Carly
She also offers plenty of free resources, including playlists on abundance, self-worth, and relationships, plus tapping videos to help you shift your energy and mindset.
Connect with me, Victoria R:
- 🌐 Website: victoria-r.com.au
- 🎙 Instagram: @the.victoria.r
- 💌 Email: hello@victoria-r.com.au
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, subscribe to the podcast, and leave a review — it helps more people find these conversations.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Coach Carly
00:00:39
Speaker
okay welcome everyone to the mindful educator podcast i have got a special guest with me today carly evans and i think better known as coach carly through the website and instagram so carly is joining me today we're going to talk about all sorts of different things and she's a change and trauma coach should i get that right dealing mainly with those types of things um and helping women primarily through different times of change and all those big events or little events that may have happened throughout our life that we perhaps need a little bit of assistance with so thank you Carly for joining me thank you for having me all right so I thought may as well dive straight in and get you just to tell us a little bit about yourself and yeah we'll kind of go from there see where the conversation leads us
00:01:22
Speaker
Sure. So I'm originally from the UK. um Fun fact, I'm half English, an eighth Javanese, and the rest is Dutch. Love it. like I used to say I'm half English, half Dutch, and and an eighth Javanese, and I'm shiz at maths.
00:01:38
Speaker
love it um And I moved to Australia 15 years ago now. yeah Yeah, absolutely love it here. It's the best country in the world to live in, I reckon. um And yeah, I've been running my business for about 19 years now as a coach and as a Reiki teacher as
Carly's Coaching and Trauma Work
00:01:55
Speaker
well.
00:01:55
Speaker
most of that time I was doing it on along the side of a full-time job as a parole officer so I've had a my career has been a very mixed interesting bag of fun I would say yeah ah definitely but obviously it's all kind of led you to this point so ah right yeah I reckon all our experiences are there for a reason for sure yeah so the work that you're doing now so you mentioned that you're you deal a lot with change and trauma and things like that what do you mean by that can you expand on that a little bit for us Yeah, so you know, helping people through times of significant change, whether it's, you know, you you've ah been very redundant at work, you've ended a relationship, you're grieving the loss of someone or just the loss of your identity even, you know, like you might have all those things that society dictates should make you happy.
00:02:38
Speaker
You know, you've got the family, you've got the nice partner, you've got a roof over your head, you've got a house, you've got all these things that society says should make you happy and yet you're not happy. So you've got a loss of identity somehow.
00:02:49
Speaker
um So I would classify that as a change of event as well. And then trauma. So I kind of I'm a very trauma informed coach having spent. years and years working in the mental health system, working in the criminal justice system with lots of people with severe and persistent trauma, chronic PTSD, complex PTSD rather, um and you know pointy end of mental health stuff, schizophrenia, bipolar, um yes, serious and persistent, ah traumatic enduring situations. I don't think I've labeled that right.
00:03:21
Speaker
Also another fun fact, I'm dealing with perimenopause, so my brain... Chuck's a fart every now and again. I was like, oh, that just feels like my brain ah um most of the time. Anyway, I think it's a combination of everything. Oh, that's so interesting that you, yeah, like all this has kind of led you to being able to deal, like help people through these traumas. Cause I know for a lot of us,
00:03:45
Speaker
um it's a bit like oh okay I don't know if i want to touch on that like I don't know if I want to go down that path of like oh major mental health or trauma it's a bit like oh so how do you like how did you get into that like what's kind of led you to that point and how do you help those people as well because I know that there's probably people listening that may be going through stuff themselves and be like oh okay but yeah yeah It can be a tricky um area, I suppose, to to coach people through when you don't feel like you've got the experience and the experience is really important.
00:04:16
Speaker
But I think people also then take that and think, I don't know how to deal with it. That's why I just won't do anything or I won't say anything. And I think one of the things that I i see in people needing the most when they're going through trauma is just people who, who you know, not they're not necessarily qualified in this field, but people to just say,
00:04:36
Speaker
I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I don't know what to say or do, but please know that I'm here for you. And sometimes people just need a hug or to just sit there with a cup of tea in
Understanding Trauma and Misconceptions
00:04:45
Speaker
silence. And that that can be enough as well. You don't need to be pulling out all these trauma informed tools necessarily.
00:04:51
Speaker
um But do have a Rolodex of people that you can refer people to um if you don't feel like you're well equipped yourself. Yeah. um So I suppose what got me into it, I've just always had a fascination with the darkest corners of people's minds. I think, you know, I grew up with, there was a few cops in my family back home. One of my uncles was, a he worked at Scotland Yard in the murder squad.
00:05:13
Speaker
um And I was just always fascinated with crime, serial killings. Like I thought I'm kind of person that will fall asleep to serial killing shows to relax. ah um and And so my bookshelf was like this weird dichotomy between anything about true crime and serial killers on one side, and then woo woo, energy work, personal development stuff on the other side.
00:05:34
Speaker
But for me, it's all the same thing. It's just helping people through the darkest corners of their mind and not not judging people for the things that they've done, but instead saying, you know, what led to someone what's happened to that person to lead them to do certain behaviors.
00:05:48
Speaker
Um, because having spent 18 years as a parole officer, in my experience, there are very, very few people that are actually born evil. It's really like, it's a really kind of almost nothing a percentage of the population, you know?
00:06:04
Speaker
um any kind of negative behavior or, you know, pattern that you're stuck out in life is normally a result of some kind of trauma that people have gone through. And people talk about big T trauma and little T trauma, but really it's about your resilience levels as well. You know, what is trauma traumatic for someone may not be traumatic for the person that's next to them, for example. So,
00:06:25
Speaker
So like it was kind of a natural thing for me at school and at uni to get into psychology and did a degree in um and a master's in psychology and kind of got into the field of criminal justice as a parole officer in London.
00:06:37
Speaker
And then did that in Sydney and did that in Perth. And, and, you know, you can't be a parole officer without getting really experienced in mental health and addictions, trauma and all the things that go with that. So, that kind of complimented the coaching side of my business where i originally trained as a law of attraction coach. So I'm always focused on where you want to go but everybody's got trauma.
00:06:57
Speaker
yeah Everybody has. Show a single person on the planet who hasn't been through something. So that that will come up in their patterns and their behaviors and their sabotage. that they get stuck in, the the coping tools that they use, you know, it's all it all shows up um based on people's trauma.
00:07:14
Speaker
Yeah, okay. That's so interesting because I know ah suppose when people do think of trauma, everyone just goes, oh, you know, you you imagine like the the worst of the worst. And then for you to say, you know, we're all experiencing trauma or we all have some type of trauma, like what are some examples of that for those that are listening? Like if they're sitting there going, oh, I don't have any trauma. Like I've got a load of shit. Yeah.
00:07:34
Speaker
Yeah. So, so for all the mums watching, right? Like every is, I feel like it's impossible. You can manage things to the best of your abilities, but I feel like it's impossible for your kid not to have some kind of trauma.
00:07:47
Speaker
Every kid is going to be left crying for too long, cold for too long, without a hug for too long, hungry for too long in their little world. Right. And that's just a, that's just a, and, and some of,
00:07:59
Speaker
ah Some of the rules that people learn in society around parenting are just let your kid cry or or let them sleep in your bed or whatever it might be, all that conflicting advice that's out there. So as a parent, you would try all these different things or chuck it all out the window and just go with what what you feel is best for your child.
00:08:17
Speaker
um But at some point, there's always something that's happened. to a child growing up, multiple things where their needs weren't met in their little tiny world. And so that does create trauma. Sometimes some kids are way more resilient than others and they won't necessarily take that one as a trauma. But some of the not so obvious things, especially as a woman that you'll find is, you know, when someone is, and and I'm seeing this a lot with a lot of very, very high performing women that I know being diagnosed with ADHD later in life.
00:08:51
Speaker
While labels can be helpful, they can also really be unhelpful too. And I feel like we're pathologizing way too much where people are talking about my ADHD, my anxiety and owning it like a label, right? But actually all of it is a trauma response.
00:09:06
Speaker
All mental health issues are related to some kind of trauma when you think about it. So... Even overworking, over controlling your environment, being a perfectionist, you know, needing everything to be tidy. Like does, does anyone really care if stuff's tidy when you come around someone's house? Like it if it's, you know, you're a parent, you've got four or five kids at home and the house is going to look like chaos. That's totally fine. It shows that you've got a lived in environment, you know, but if you're feeling like you have to meticulously control that and,
00:09:38
Speaker
and give too much of a shit about what other people think about you and about your home, then that can also be a trauma response. So the need to control things often stems from ah feeling like you're out of control in some area, which often comes from childhood, right? Like feeling unsafe or unseen or unheard or unheld or whatever it might be from when you were a kid.
Mindfulness and Reiki Practices
00:10:00
Speaker
um So that is a trauma response as well. Which is really interesting because you wouldn't necessarily see it as that. Like I used to wear that kind of thing as a badge of honor, right? Like yeah efficient. i'm i'm I've got my shit together in work. I'm always like, ah I'm a multitasker. I don't wear that as a badge of honor her anymore. It's not really a thing anymore.
00:10:19
Speaker
know And trauma may not be obvious to you. You might not have any memory of a thing that was actually a traumatic incident, you know, um but it's happened to everyone. So whether you can remember it and or not guaranteed it's happened to you.
00:10:33
Speaker
Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess let's just start putting away some money now for the kids therapy. Yeah. yeah Because, I mean, that's the thing. Like, I love how you've also said it it's based on your resilience levels as well and also our perception. So I i think it's really important to note. So just because, yeah, two people may be experiencing the same thing, one might have trauma from it, one may not, and being aware of that as well. And I think...
00:10:58
Speaker
As adults, it's really important for us to realize that it probably doesn't matter what we do, like whether we're working with children, whether we have our own children, there is probably going to be something, yes, that we're going to do that will affect them in some way growing up. And I guess it's how do we then provide the tools for ourselves and for them moving forward? So obviously we know we know it's going to happen.
00:11:20
Speaker
We know it's going come through in some way. Are there any tools that we can start providing them with now that can help move through that? Yeah. I think mindfulness practices are really important, especially to teach kids.
00:11:31
Speaker
Yeah. um Just real simple stuff, like getting them to tune into what feels like a yes and a no for them in terms of what they feel like they want to do, who they want to spend time with.
00:11:42
Speaker
Do they want to give that person a hug or or not? Or not? You know, like that, that's something where, I don't know, my generation I suppose was, and I don't really remember this in my family, but it's like, it was rude to not be, to not go and give that person a hug because your parents told you to. But actually if that kid's picking up on some kind of not good vibes from that person, they don't want to give them a hug, then listen, get your your kid to respond to what their body's telling them.
00:12:07
Speaker
yeah um and And just, yeah, becoming as mindful as early on as you can, that your your feelings are valid, your feelings matter, um and they're not good or bad. It's it's about you know the perception that you place on that, right? like So it's it's not a bad thing to get angry. It's not a bad thing to be sad.
00:12:28
Speaker
um just sit down and and listen to why you might be feeling that way. And if you don't know why you're feeling that way, that's also okay, you because you might know later on. um Things like EFT, I absolutely love as a tool to help people kind of snap out of a funk. You know, if you're feeling that, whatever negative emotion that you might be feeling, tapping is a really, really useful tool to to kind of break that state, to neutralize those emotions and get you out of that you know, that more primal response in your brain to back in your, you know, I could put my big girl's pants on and feel alive.
00:13:01
Speaker
and yeah Because, you know, as a parent, when you're tired, when you're hungry, when when the kids are chucking a tantrum in the supermarket or whatever, you're going to have your own shit emotions come up about that too. And fear of judgment from other people. and So there's all these tools that you can use to calm your nervous system down so that your heightened nervous system doesn't also kick off your kid's heightened nervous system.
00:13:23
Speaker
Like there's a bunch of things that come into play with that, isn't there? So yeah definite tools it doesn't have to be complicated. Just lean on a couple of things, learn a couple of things that you can lean on that, you know, work for you.
00:13:34
Speaker
um so that you can give yourself a time out as as well as giving you kids i know and yeah it's definitely something that does work and does help and i know as soon as you kind of i suppose give yourself permission to even do that before you know dealing with the meltdown or the tantrum or the bad behavior or whatever it might be it does make a big difference for sure yeah no thank you for that because it is good to know that um even though we're all experiencing, at least there are ways that we can move through it. So ah love that.
00:14:02
Speaker
And I know I wanted to touch on the Reiki side of things. So can you firstly tell us what Reiki is for those that are not aware? know it's getting a little bit more popular, there's still people that may not be fully aware of what Reiki is. Yeah.
00:14:14
Speaker
So I started doing Reiki, it got nearly, it will be 20 years ago next month. And back then it was not as widely known as it is now. I mean, I can't remember the last time i I said the word Reiki to someone and they didn't at least have some basic understanding of it, you know.
00:14:33
Speaker
So Reiki is basically a frequency of energy. There are lots of different frequencies of energy out there. Reiki is one of them. And I like to use analogies around this for people that don't necessarily understand it yet. So if you imagine that we're all a rechargeable battery and say that rechargeable battery, you know, you know, your energy levels throughout the day, right? So if I was to get you to score your energy levels right now, zero to 10, 10 being the most energized you could possibly be feeling with a full battery, where would you score yourself right now?
00:15:00
Speaker
Hmm. I would probably score myself maybe about a six or seven. Yep. Nice. And, but energy is kind of like dynamic, right? So we might wake up feeling absolutely knackered.
00:15:12
Speaker
And I mean, if there's reasons for that, like physical reasons for that, then that's, that's a ah real time thing, but you might wake up feeling really knackered and it could, but you could see someone that you, that you absolutely lights you up that you have an absolute blast with. And you might go from a two out of 10 to like an 11 out of 10, just through spending time with the right person or doing the right things for yourself or actually having a ah rest day or whatever it might be. So your energy levels will fluctuate, but fluctuate throughout the day as an energy practitioner. And I don't like the term healer because I feel like I'm not the one that's doing the healing. I'm just topping up the client's battery. So it's like you're plugging into the rechargeable battery pack and I'm topping up your energy levels with
00:15:53
Speaker
a frequency of energy that is a much higher frequency than our own frequency. And your body will decide what to do with that, whether it's to focus on relieving stress from the energy field, um working to heal an existing injury or speed up the healing of like, maybe you've got a virus in your body and it will speed up the the kicking out of that virus or the healing of that virus.
00:16:14
Speaker
It can work in all different levels. So physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. yeah And so so a client can walk in feeling like absolute death warmed up and wake ah walk out an hour later feeling completely different.
00:16:27
Speaker
It's quite incredible. You know, you just top up the client's battery and then their body decides what it needs to do with that extra energy. Yeah, so good. So for those that haven't experienced Reiki, ah you what are you doing? what What exactly do you do in a session with them?
00:16:42
Speaker
Yeah. So they would lay down on, on something that looks like this. I've got my Reiki yeahp love it on ah first table. It doesn't have to be like that. You can do Reiki quite informally as well. So I do a lot of distant healing where I don't have the client with me.
00:16:54
Speaker
and And that sounds like a very woo woo concept when you don't know about energy work, you know, that, that definitely, cut that concept had to get past my psychology brain for sure. um So a client will generally lay on the table and Reiki is generally a pretty, it's like standard Reiki is that generally quite a hands-on technique. So I'm placing my hands on the client's body.
00:17:14
Speaker
My style of doing energy work is a bit different than standard Reiki these days, because there's quite a lot of other things that I do. um So different frequencies of energy that come through. I've generally got a pendulum um and um'm I'm kind of tuning into the client's energy field and checking for certain things, like checking for what I call bad juju. So kicking out anything that shouldn't be there.
00:17:34
Speaker
yeah and tuning up the client's energy field. So making sure that the energy field is as open and functioning as as best as it can be. um So most of the time in a standard Reiki treatment, you're on the the client's body and you're running Reiki energy into that client's body. So the client will generally feel that as like warmth or tingling or energy moving through the body. Often they'll feel like I might be working on their head and they might feel my hands down at their legs, for example, is is pretty interesting.
00:18:00
Speaker
Yeah. And you know, they might have pain releases. They might have energetic releases where they kind of have muscle twitches and stuff like that. Sometimes they have emotional releases. I've seen everything from,
00:18:12
Speaker
a couple of tears to a full on wailing, ugly cry on the table. Yeah. Nothing like a good ugly cry. Yeah. And you know, how often do does, especially women, how often do we just lay on a table like that and just receive for an hour?
00:18:28
Speaker
It's actually not that often. So just that act of receiving someone else's time and energy is, is really important for, for growth and healing, you know? Yeah.
00:18:39
Speaker
Yeah. Definitely. And would you ever um perform Reiki on a child anyone like that so they can receive it as well? Yeah, I had a toddler in here in this room a couple of weeks ago, actually. I think he was about 15 months old.
00:18:51
Speaker
And he was just, i actually cleared the table out the way because, at you know, 15 months old is not going to lay there on the table for an hour. So there's a number of different ways that can happen. Like I can either do it on his mum as a proxy for him or just said, bring in his toys. we We put him down on the rug and he was playing with his toys and playing with the sparkly lights and i had...
00:19:10
Speaker
you know, candles and stuff going. So he was kind of, there were things in the room that took his attention while I was intentionally sending him an energy, but not necessarily working directly on him.
00:19:20
Speaker
ye and You can give Reiki to animals. so I'm always giving it to my dog. She absolutely loves a good Reiki hip massage um and plants, like anything, anything that is energy you can do Reiki basically. So you can Reiki your food, your water,
00:19:36
Speaker
um so i when i teach reiki workshops i i encourage my reiki students to be you know uh giving extra energy to their their food and their water when they're they're taking that into their body so you're increasing the vibration and the energy of whatever you're then putting in in your body which is pretty cool so interesting isn't it because i know i ah so many people will be like yeah you know, which is, you know, my husband's definitely, I think he's getting a bit better because he knows that I'm i'm into the woo type of things a little bit more than what he is.
00:20:08
Speaker
um So what would be a scientific way to describe this to somebody? Like, how would you say, like obviously it's dealing with energy or the rest of it. If you had someone come to you and go, this is a load of crap,
00:20:21
Speaker
what would you say? Yeah, always up for a challenge. I mean, look, at the end of the day, quantum physics is very much proving a lot of this stuff. They prove that there's an energy field around us. It's not just our physical body.
00:20:32
Speaker
There is scientific evidence that energy fields exist, that you can also manipulate energy fields, right, through thought, through intention. They've proved all this stuff. So um what I would say is, i like, I love a good skeptic just you know come with an open mind is what I say. And actually some of my best clients who started coming weekly were the biggest skeptics that I've ever met, but they were desperate and they were ready to try anything because their bodies and their brains were just completely collapsing in on them.
00:21:02
Speaker
So they had tried everything or they thought they had tried everything up until that point. and And one of one of the clients that I'm thinking of, I actually um re-read through her testimonial the other day. She wrote this for me years ago. And I can't remember why I was reading through it. But she she was in that moment of desperation where her her dad had died and she'd inherited. She used to be um like the editor of a really well-known magazine in the UK.
00:21:27
Speaker
And then her dad died and she inherited his business, which was the complete opposite of anything she'd ever done before. And suddenly she's the CEO of a massive business that is legally responsible for a lot of different things. And she's managing a massive team all across the yeah UK, but while also dealing with the death of her father, right? So I'm managing her mom's emotions and managing the estate and all these kinds of things. So it was like a really full on time. and And she went downhill massively. She was also, I think, dealing with perimenopause around that time as well. And her entire body was just She you know was a very athletic kind of person and she stopped having the energy for that. Her her muscles and bones and tendons and everything just started literally collapsing in on her.
00:22:08
Speaker
And so she started going to a cranial sacral therapist who um cranial sacral therapy is where they manipulate, I think he was an osteopath as well, manipulating the cranial sacral fluid on the skull. So you're kind of moving, you're almost, I suppose,
00:22:25
Speaker
I'm not going to explain this well so i'm not an expert, but you know, they're, they're manipulating. If you, if you put your hands on your head, you should be able to move the skin on your head because there's cranial microal fluid between your skull and the skin.
00:22:38
Speaker
Everyone's now touching their heads. so yeah yeah It's just move, right? It's like stuck like super glue, which was extremely concerning to him. And that meant that her body was not in a good state at all. So she had one session with him. he was really concerned. um Her husband, we were all really good friends in London, and how her her husband,
00:23:01
Speaker
talked her into coming to see me. We were really good mates, but she was a massive skeptic when it came to this stuff. But by then in London, I got my hands on basically everybody that I knew for Reiki. I was practicing.
00:23:14
Speaker
and um And so she was up for it. you know She was so desperate to to do anything that she could do to get better that she was up for the challenge. So she came and this is when I started combining coaching with Reiki as well. So we kind of worked on goals.
00:23:27
Speaker
I got her to kind of recite an affirmation as but as I was working on her. I guided her into a meditation while I was working on her and kind of got got her logical brain distracted while I was doing work on her energy field. and Because when someone is closed-minded stuff or or a skeptic, you can be laying there blocking the energy, right? You can not be given energy against your will.
00:23:49
Speaker
So if she's laying there like a block of ice going, this won't work for me, this won't work for me, which I have had clients do that. Right. And again, like like I hypnotized them into falling asleep and then their body re receives the energy because they're yes, their body like happy bro I need this, you know? Yeah. I did a session on her and she was wowed by it. And she she didn't know what had happened, but she kind of knew that she felt better.
00:24:12
Speaker
And then she went for another cranial sacral therapy session the next week. And he said to her, what have you done in the last week since our session? Because our session would not have done the results that I'm seeing in you.
00:24:23
Speaker
And so she explained him what had happened and he said, okay, I want you to, if you can keep seeing both of us each week. And so she did that for quite a long period of time. And he would track the results within his cranial sacral therapy sessions and And then he realized that the effects of Reiki combined with that were really like having, she was having massive improvement. I ended up teaching her Reiki so she could do self-healing.
00:24:49
Speaker
um And he ended up sending me all his family and all his clients. you know And that was really cool for me because that was... early days of me doing reiki so it was really good uh confirmation i suppose that what i was doing was actually showing up as a benefit in people's bodies when they were going for other kind of therapies um that was really cool yeah yeah hittic that's fine but be a skeptic it with an open mind and and up trying anything because once you try stuff and reiki what did what you but one of my other skeptical clients said
00:25:19
Speaker
Reiki is not for everyone, but it should be tried by everyone.
Integrating Experiences in Healing
00:25:22
Speaker
And I think that's pretty I see see that for most things, right? Like if you just go in with an open mind and try anything, because everything can work. Placebo effect is real too, right? But I've been doing this for so long that I know it's not placebo.
00:25:37
Speaker
Yeah. And just the fact that you, yeah, it's almost like having that evidence there, isn't it? Like, that's amazing. And, oh, yeah. blows my mind actually that's really cool i love it and so how have you kind of brought all these experiences together like to do what you're doing now like obviously you've got such an interesting background in obviously being a parole officer your psychology or your reiki so how does this kind of marry into what you're doing now Yeah, ah look, for me, it's still all the same thing. It's just work we helping people to work through the darkest corners of their mind to clear the shit that's holding them back so they become so they can become their best the best version of themselves, so that they're happier, their family's happier, you know, they're living the life that they actually want to live, not not a life that they think their parents want for them or their parents want for them or whatever. you know, so many of us, especially women are living a life that isn't really a life that we're, that we're creating for ourselves. And I suppose, you know, ah really want people to know that you can create the life that you want.
00:26:38
Speaker
ae You know, you can snap yourself out of a funk really easily without popping a pill, buying the trainers, booking a holiday, whatever it might be. um You know, that that's become my mission in life really is to show people that, you you can move through these dark nights of the soul and you're going to be okay on the other side.
00:26:56
Speaker
And sometimes you can do that on your own. And sometimes you need to learn it from people who've been there and and have done it and have created systems that will help you do it quicker. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
00:27:09
Speaker
Sometimes it can feel like moving through sludge doesn't matter a lot, especially when you've got to move through, yeah, these harder things. So it's go it's so good to know that, yeah, you put all these together in such an awesome way. So will you combine your Reiki and everything together in a session? You like kind of let people know, yep, could be a bit of everything. Yep.
00:27:26
Speaker
yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I absolutely do that. So sometimes people actually book in one of my most popular sessions is people booking in for coaching where you're bringing up all the stuff in the energy field and and like triggering it actively that we then release part of it in the coaching session. They walk away with home play and and tools to do at home.
00:27:42
Speaker
And, you know, very much stuff that they can keep doing. um And then we follow um with an energy treatment. So you're kind of clearing all the stuff that's been raised in there in a session. So that's a really powerful combination.
00:27:54
Speaker
Sometimes people just book in for a coaching session and we just do a bit of energy work in that. Often also coaching people in a Reiki treatment, you know, so it really just depends on what comes up. Yeah. yeah, just got my tool bag and whatever tool you need to pull out at whatever time you need to do it, then you do it, you know. And I've worked with 60 year old dudes who have been mechanics for their whole lives, who are very closed off to this kind of stuff. And, you know, 12 sessions and and I'm like, Dave, will you humor me?
00:28:19
Speaker
You know, I don't talk shit. We've been working together for a long enough where if I say that this will probably really benefit you, then you probably think it, you know, it it might, you know, just give it a go kind of thing. So,
00:28:30
Speaker
um and that's where that open-mindedness comes in like just just go in try it if you don't like it that's fine um but just see see if it's got something for you because yeah there's a there's there's some really cool stuff out there that if you open up your mind to that it might really benefit your life yeah definitely and I know that I love the fact that it is being spoken about a lot more like all these different um I suppose, alternatives to, you know, modern medicine. We've got lots of different things that we can try. And I love that the conversations
Critique of Modern Medicine Approaches
00:29:01
Speaker
are opening up. And as you said, like not ah not too many people don't know what Reiki is now, whereas a few years ago, even it was a little bit different.
00:29:08
Speaker
So it is good to know that these sorts of things are getting out there a little bit more. So I just think it's actually really funny how it's seen as new age. Um, alternative when these things have been in place in ancient cultures for way before modern medicine was a thing.
00:29:23
Speaker
and And when you look at, you know, stats around ah antidepressants, 80% of people with on antidepressants still depressed. Some of the antidepressants make you suicidal. Yeah. right But that's fucked.
00:29:38
Speaker
Yeah. Is that really working? Or are they actually going, okay, are you drinking enough water? Are you getting enough sunshine? Are you giving your body enough rest? have they Have the doctors ever even asked what's going on in that person's life to lead to depression, which is actually a very normal response a lot of the time to a really abnormal situation. Like if you actually just look at that and focus instead of using a band-aid medical model type of scenario,
00:30:02
Speaker
really looking into what is causing pain in that person and what needs healing. Whether you do Reiki or something else doesn't matter. It's like, how can we heal this instead of just popping a pill that you hope is going to make you feel better? Because that's not dealing with the problem at all.
00:30:16
Speaker
You know, I worked in the in the in the government systems for a really long time. And it was i feel like there's a time and a place for medication. Absolutely. Like it saves people's lives. I'm not anti any of that stuff.
00:30:28
Speaker
But it's definitely overused. People are definitely over labeled and it's not always helpful. um And there's so many other things that could take place. And, and you know, if people are just up for giving it a go and doing their own research, that's really important because I think people are too trusting people Doctors that are not masters of anything.
00:30:47
Speaker
um They just, you know, you can, you can, this actually happened to me. I ah went to the doctor to get a blood test done to check for low iron levels, because it's something that was a recurring thing in my life. And I was absolutely exhausted.
00:30:59
Speaker
And he whipped out the DAS, which is a depression, anxiety, stress scale. I think it's, I don't know, 12, 15 questions on it. It's pretty basic. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen that one before. Yeah. and And anyone listening to this, just search DAS on Google. It will bring up the questions.
00:31:17
Speaker
they questions But if you're depressed, if you're burnt out, if you're low on iron, if you're premenstrual, if you're grieving, there's so many different scenarios where you could tick yes to all those questions.
00:31:33
Speaker
And then the doctor will say, you've got depression. You can either go, this is what the doctor says to me, you can either have counseling or you can have antidepressants and I got actually really angry with him and I was angry not just for me but for all the people that might have actually listened to what he said yeah I said I don't have depression and I know that because I've had it before and I don't feel sad this is not depression I've come to you to get my iron levels checked which you haven't even done yet like I've found blood test that you're looking at because if if I do have low iron i would tick yes to all those things
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah. um And, and I just got really pissed off at the system, to be honest. And then i' ah kind of walked out and then i I went home and I slept on it. and I woke up the next day. i was like, oh, that's right. I'm burnt out. My adrenals are completely flogged.
00:32:17
Speaker
Yeah. Which made complete sense for the situation that I was in, you know, at work, at home. um And I walked into, I remember, I'll always remember this guy, the triple seven pharmacy in Whitford's.
00:32:29
Speaker
And, and he must've just seen, must've just been this beacon of him. i just looked like a shell of a person, right? And he made a beeline for me and he was so kind to me. he just said, what can I help you with today? And I said, ah think I've burnt out. What natural supplements do you have for burnout? I don't want to take medication. I just, I know what it is.
00:32:50
Speaker
ah just want to, you know, give my body the nutrients it needs. And he said, okay, here's some, I think it was called Adrenoplex or something at the time. um yeah lots so Not sponsored by these guys, but if you're feeling burnt out, I think it's called Adrenoplex by Biosu's cause is a really good combination. Like when we, when we are burnt out, if our adrenals are completely flogged out and you just keep drinking coffee to try and stay awake, that's the worst thing you can do for your body. Right. So you need stimulants that aren't,
00:33:19
Speaker
drugs like caffeine that will nourish and support you like ginkgo bilboa ashwagandha which is an adaptogenic herb what else did it have so siberian ginseng like it had a bunch of things in there to naturally support your adrenals to calm them down calm your nervous system down he said take these drink lots of water have high like pharmacy grade vitamin c um um and and rest as much as you can and within a couple of weeks that's fine um and actually even by the end of the day i felt better just because someone had listened to me yeah and i wasn't that half the battle sometimes yeah and the medical system gaslights women all the time yeah um and listen like know yourself listen to your body use those mindfulness techniques take a break even if it's
00:34:02
Speaker
you know, five seconds in the toilet where you're actually just tuning into what am I feeling right now? Like, and not trying to overanalyze that, but really tuning into yourself. And if someone gives you some, whatever their answer is to it, if it doesn't feel like a yes for you, then then don't go with it. Like yeah use your voice and and and your power, you know?
00:34:22
Speaker
um so So, yeah, that's a long tangent about the Western medicine and how it's really, I feel like Western medicine is is the alternative to alternative therapies.
00:34:34
Speaker
I know. And I think this is where, like, this was kind of like my whole idea behind the podcast was to kind of speak about these things that I wish I had known earlier because I'm not sure if you're aware of it. For me, I did hit the heat burnout. It was all that, like, you know, health repercussions were like,
00:34:50
Speaker
and So, you know, it's kind of been picking up the pieces and, know, I guess it's a case of if I had known more about these sorts of things beforehand, it might've been a different outcome. If I had maybe listened to myself a lot more, again, probably would have been a different outcome. And I think this is where a lot of the time, as you said, we, like I, cause I kept going to doctors. I didn't really know much about other stuff. Like I kept going and they kept telling me I was fine. I had blood tests. Everything was fine. Like it's all fine. Like it wasn't fine, but you know, as I now know that, and it's like, okay, so
00:35:23
Speaker
you know, we we go to these people that are meant to be our trusted professionals, as you've said, and they say, this is your diagnosis. Here's the pill off you go. And how many of us have the courage to maybe question that because we've probably been brought up so like, you know, by people saying, well, what they say goes, you know, how often do we go? authority's opinion Yeah. How often do we go get a second opinion? Yeah. I know like all these different things. And I think,
00:35:48
Speaker
I love what you're saying about just listening to ourselves, even just taking that moment, you know, going, okay, thanks. I'm not necessarily going to take your drug right now. i'm just going to go off and and just sit with that, see how it feels.
00:36:01
Speaker
And I think that's one thing that... as a society, as women, and as, you know, those of us moving through, we kind of are forgetting that a little bit. And I think it's so good that there's people like you out there that saying, yes, let's bring that bit back in. We need to trust ourselves first before we take on someone else's opinion. It's really hard thing to do.
Empowerment and Historical Insights
00:36:20
Speaker
And and um have you heard of a book called Sexy But Psycho by Dr. Jessica Taylor?
00:36:25
Speaker
I haven't. This is must read. I feel like it's a must read. I'm going to write one down. Yeah, it's must read for any woman. And it is angry making, it's crazy making, but it's it needs to be read.
00:36:38
Speaker
ae i I read this book about a year ago, actually, and I was on holiday in Scotland. And at the time um i was staying in a room in this really old, amazing lodge. And on the on the shelf, it was like above the fireplace in in the room i was staying in, there's this little old box that said, a woman is i a woman is ah only a woman or a woman is just a woman or something. And then you flip it over, it says, but a cigar is a good smoke. was like, how fucking patronizing is that? like and And at the time I was reading this book and I thought, oh, I wrote this whole blog on it at the time. yeah I shared a ah like the photo of the front of this book and it was really interesting how i was able to
00:37:16
Speaker
call a few facebook friends from like guys saying that sounds like one of my exes or sounds like a few chicks are now i know was like oh you can get fucked yeah it's like you are not my ah my ideal person to be on here yeah you're like okay bye-bye but so dr jessica taylor she's based in the uk there's a lot in there that kind of does bang on about patriarchy which i'm not necessarily a fan of that it's not that I'm, you know, it's not that my views are opposed to that or anything. Like I know the,
00:37:46
Speaker
the the The systems that we have to work in are extremely male dominated. That's a fact. yeah But, um ah you know, you can bang on it about it a bit too It's not about hating men or anything like that. Yeah, because I'm not a man hater at all. and And sometimes people get the wrong idea about that because I talk about men's abuse against women a lot because those are the really, really high stats. And that's the industry that I've worked in.
00:38:10
Speaker
um ah um I became an expert in serial family violence defending. That's what I used to do as a parole officer. And that's where you see the bulk of things happening. But um this book talks about the history of women and and how it wasn't really that long ago historically in the grand scheme of things where we were literally legally men's property. We didn't we weren't allowed to vote. We weren't allowed to own property.
00:38:31
Speaker
We were like just, you know, just a thing that they had, that a toy that they had kind of thing to play with. Yeah, we didn't have, we were just meant for making babies. That was it.
00:38:42
Speaker
That was it. Keeping the name going. um We didn't have a right to our own voice. And then when we actually were legally allowed to own property, have a right to vote, all those kinds of things, then we were...
00:38:55
Speaker
treated like literally labeled as witches that were burned at the stake. And then when that wasn't a thing anymore, we were labeled as hysterical. And this is the really fun part. We were given hysterectomies as an antidote to hysteria.
00:39:10
Speaker
But when you actually really look at what happened back then, we were labeled hysterical when we were premenstrual, when we were perimenopausal, when we were in postnatal depression.
00:39:22
Speaker
when our husbands were being dickheads to us. There's so many different, when you look at how men are treated in the medical system compared to women, this is still a really real thing for us. Like if i if a guy in in that same same situation that I spoke about before, where I went to get my iron levels checked, if a guy went to do that, he would probably just be given a blood test, not whipped out the dust and labeled with depression.
00:39:50
Speaker
So you think about how guys are treated in the medical system compared to us. and and i so And I saw this all throughout the government systems that I worked in. you know you're You're given a label. like ah then if i He diagnosed me with depression. If I'd taken antidepressants for depression that I didn't have, I likely would have had all these other side effects from that.
00:40:10
Speaker
I could have become depressed and suicidal through the medication because that's a side effect of some of it the antidepressant medications. Which is crazy. It's the irony of it all. Crazy.
00:40:21
Speaker
And so then, you know, I see this time and time again with lots of clients that I work with. They're given then other medication to counteract the side effects of those medications. Before you know it, there's more medications. more you You're on like five different kinds of pills. And that's when the Webster packs come out. It's something that you never even had in the first place.
00:40:37
Speaker
Yeah. know And then that is on your record. And the amount of women that are treated differently because they've got depression, you know, or they've been labeled with bipolar or whatever it might be.
00:40:50
Speaker
And then that is on their record. Every time any kind of medical person looks them up, that's on their record. It's like a red flag against your name. You're treated differently. And then you act differently because you're being treated differently. You're being treated like you're crazy. So it kind of makes you a bit crazy.
00:41:06
Speaker
And this is crazy. yeah Like, we so I highly recommend you read this book because i I'm sure it'll be there. buts There's so many podcast topics in there.
00:41:18
Speaker
I love it. everybody All right. It's going to be on on the to be read list. ah Yeah. ah And it's so interesting what you said. Oh, oh my gosh. like Yeah. We could really dive down the rubber hole. Yeah.
00:41:31
Speaker
Trust me, I've spent my whole career diving down the rabbit hole. I love it. I had to leave government. you no i cant Yeah, no, I can understand that for sure.
Final Thoughts and Contact Info
00:41:41
Speaker
so I guess, yeah, I'm very conscious of time. So we probably need to look at wrapping it up.
00:41:45
Speaker
But um just a couple of things. How can people work with you, Carly? Sure, so you can find me at my website, coachcarly.com on Facebook, on Coach Carly. ah Instagram, if you search at coach carli Coach Carly Evans, you can find me on there. And just have a look on Instagram. There's my link tree bio in there. So there's a bunch of freebies.
00:42:05
Speaker
There's freebies looking at... um ah There's like um a free money and abundance playlist. There's a project self-worth pay playlist, which is all about increasing your confidence, self-esteem, self-love full of tapping videos. If you like tapping um there's one about relationships. There's all all kinds of kind of free goodies on there that you can download. And, and that will show you the ways to work with me as well. It'll take you through to my website links and all of that. So perfect. Love it. And final question for you, which I do ask each of the guests that come on, if there's one piece of advice you can leave the listeners listeners with, what would it be?
00:42:36
Speaker
Oh, okay. So the best question you can ever ask yourself is if I 100% loved, honoured, trusted and respected myself, how would my life be different?
00:42:46
Speaker
What decision would I make in this scenario? Who would be in my life? Who wouldn't be in my life? Would I still do the same job? You know, there's so many different things that can come out of that one question. So that is a really good question to get to know yourself.
00:42:58
Speaker
Oh, I love that. but but but That is a good one. and I love how you're like, yeah, I got this straight away. few people are like, ah you knew it. You knew it was coming. Oh, thank you so much for joining us, Carly. And yeah, like I said, I'll put all the things in the show notes. So if anyone wants to get in touch, you can.
00:43:17
Speaker
And yeah, thank you for joining me today. Thank you so much.