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27. The One About How Words Create Your World
12 Plays5 days ago
In this episode, Victoria joins us from Perth, where she’s spending a week immersed in Mind School training. Surrounded by new insights, lightbulb moments, and deep personal reflection, she explores a topic that has been completely reshaping the way she thinks, feels, and responds to the world: the language we use.
Victoria breaks down how the words we speak - both out loud and internally - shape our emotional state, our identity, our resilience, and ultimately the world we create around us. She shares heartfelt examples from her own life, dives into the concept of transformational vocabulary, and reminds us that while we may not always be able to control our circumstances, we always have influence over the words we choose.
This episode touches on:
- How everyday phrases like “I’m tired” or “I’m busy” unconsciously set the tone for our day
- Why our brain follows the direction our language points it toward
- The powerful idea from Mind School: “Words create worlds”
- Flipping negative internal dialogue into more uplifting, empowered language
- Modelling healthy language for children and students
- Expanding our emotional vocabulary to better understand what we’re actually feeling
- Why “I am…” statements can keep us stuck in outdated identities
- Practical examples of reframing common phrases into more supportive ones
- Using language to shift our state and reconnect with confidence, energy, and clarity
This conversation is a beautiful reminder that the way we speak becomes the way we live - and small shifts in vocabulary can create huge shifts in how we feel.
🔗 Connect with Victoria
- Instagram: @the.victoria.r
- Website: www.victoria-r.com.au
- Work With Me: Coaching, programs, mindfulness sessions, school workshops & more
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Transcript
Victoria's Reflections at Mind School
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Mindful Educator podcast. So I'm actually recording down in Perth at the moment where I'm currently down here for a week of training, redoing the Mind School, which I did last year, last April, I think it was. um And we're already on today too, and it's just been such a fascinating few days already, and it's just really cementing a lot of things for me and kind of like a few light bulb moments going on as well.
00:01:08
Victoria R
But what I wanted to talk to all of you about today ah something that has really kind of changed a lot of how I think and approach things.
The Power of Language and Self-Talk
00:01:20
Victoria R
And that's simply the language that we use.
00:01:24
Victoria R
And I think you may be going, Victoria, what on earth do you mean? Like, what do you mean by language? How has that impacted your life so greatly? And I just want to bring it down to the fact that often how we talk to ourselves and the words that we use, the language that we use,
00:01:43
Victoria R
the way we speak to ourselves at any point during the day, it kind of sets the scene for the rest of our lives in terms of what is actually going to happen. So as an example, if you um wake up in the morning and straight away, you're like, oh, I'm so tired.
00:01:59
Victoria R
I'm so tired. I'm just really tired. That was a shit night's sleep. I'm tired. Automatically, you're setting yourself up to be tired for the rest of your day. you're setting yourself up to kind of feel it in your body and your mind, you're just gonna be feeling tired and it's just gonna kind of permeate through everything.
Shifting to Positive Language
00:02:20
Victoria R
Whereas if you kind of woke up and chose to think of it in a different way. So instead of focusing on the fact that, oh, what day is it? Oh, I've got to go to work or whatever it might be that's kind of bringing that negative aspect to it. It's like, well, how can we flip that?
00:02:36
Victoria R
You know, firstly, you can wake up and go, oh, yay, I'm alive. i slept through, made it through another night, I'm alive. You know, um it may be something as simple as your kids coming in to wake you up and be like, how lucky am i that my children are my alarm clock?
00:02:54
Victoria R
You know, and just this simple change in how we approach things and how we say things and the language that we use can really kind of impact then how the rest of your day is going to go.
00:03:09
Victoria R
And I think a lot of the time we're we're not even aware of the language that we're using. We're so used to saying the same things in the same way. We're so used to, you know, putting ourselves down like our internal talk can be really negative. And it's kind of not until we actually pay attention to what it is that we're we're saying that we're like, oh, okay, that actually isn't so great. Like I know that I wouldn't speak to someone else that way.
00:03:39
Victoria R
i wouldn't speak to my children that way. So why am I speaking to myself that way? Or, you know, is there a way that I can then flip this to to kind of make it a bit more positive?
Words Create Worlds
00:03:49
Victoria R
Because a lot of the time we're really focusing on the negative and it's kind of,
00:03:55
Victoria R
once you kind of start focusing on that, it's almost like that's what you're then attracting, all right? And you're attracting people that are then going to kind of have that down energy as well. And you're going to be, oh, feeling all down. And it's just like flow and effect. So how can we then look at going, all right, I'm going to flip it around. i am going to focus on being super positive. And it's not a case of being like, oh, I'm just, you know, I'm just pretending.
00:04:19
Victoria R
Actually try and start kind of catching those thoughts when you have them where you you maybe aren't using the language that has been the kindest to yourself and going, oh, I'm saying that again. How can I reframe that slightly? How can I change what I've said, you know, to be maybe a little bit more grateful or a little bit more positive in how I'm approaching things?
00:04:42
Victoria R
And the greatest thing is like we have complete control over this. Like no one else can't. really has to influence us we can do this ourselves and it can be such a simple change that can make such a big difference and I know it's something that um especially today mind school I was like oh my gosh like it just it just really landed for me again just how important the language that we use with ourselves and with others really is and just the impact that can then have on the rest of the day
00:05:15
Victoria R
and um Brianna, who is teaching my school, she's she said this, she goes, words create worlds. And i was like, oh, yes, it's so true. So the words that you're using, that the language that you're using every day is then going to create the type of world that you're living in. So if you're constantly using like negative words or limiting words or whatever it might be then yeah, your world is going to be a reflection of that.
00:05:46
Victoria R
that That literally is going to be that reflection. So how can we, you know, spice up our vocabulary a little bit? How can we spice up our language and and get it really working for us? How can we use our language to kind of tap into new feelings?
Language and Children's Self-Perception
00:06:02
Victoria R
So as for the example that I gave you where, you know, like, oh, I'm tired. And I know this has been a narrative that I've been saying a lot lately. Like I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep and I've been like, oh, I'm so tired. And I'm like, oh, Victoria, like, of course you're going to keep feeling tired because you keep saying that you're tired. So I'm like, how can I reframe this and flip it around a little bit so that it's not
00:06:26
Victoria R
it's not creating that that world for me, then it's not going to be a world where I'm just constantly tired. yeah. you know i when I wake up in the morning, I'm going to make a really conscious effort not to focus on that. And I'll be focusing on something positive, like, I get to wake up and I get to go back to school today. Or I get to wake up and have my children here, like whatever it might be that is going to help kind of create that more positive world for me.
00:06:54
Victoria R
And our language can really influence our state. It can really influence our how we're thinking, how we're feeling, how we approach things, our resilience levels. Like it it really makes such a big difference.
00:07:10
Victoria R
And I think it's as parents and as educators and those that may be working with children, it's really important to bring their awareness to their language and how they speak to themselves as well.
00:07:22
Victoria R
And this can be a really hard thing, especially when you've got a child that's saying, oh, I hate myself. Nobody loves me. And it can be easy to just go, oh, of course we love you.
00:07:34
Victoria R
Of course we love you. And I think it's like, okay, well, how can we how can we flip this slightly? All right. Obviously there's there's some sort of disconnect that they're feeling here. How can we help improve their language to improve their state? know, how can we get them to to speak to themselves in a much kinder way?
00:07:56
Victoria R
And I think modelling that ourselves is definitely a big key part of that. If we are constantly speaking down to ourselves and if the children in our lives are hearing that, that's what they're going to pick up on.
00:08:10
Victoria R
Whereas if we can model, you know, using language to our advantage, using it in a more powerful way, then they will pick up on that as well.
Expanding Vocabulary for Emotional Expression
00:08:19
Victoria R
know And it's also a case of expanding our vocabulary too And this was a big thing that we went through today. Like it was like, all right, describe, you know, positive emotions and negative emotions that you have. And I was like, okay, yeah, we'll go through and describe it. And I think most of us maybe had between five and 10 And it's like, there are like thousands of words that you can use to describe how you're feeling at any given moment. Why are we limiting ourselves so much with which ones that we choose to use? So if we expand our vocabulary, then that's also going to help expand our state, our being, everything else that kind of goes along with it. So
00:09:03
Victoria R
You know, there's there's plenty of things. If you Google, you'll find plenty of things that have like different, like the emotions will and a really detailed one. And it can go through and show you different ways to describe, you know, your anger or your sadness and other words that you can use instead. So if we can start also modeling this to the children in our lives too. We can have this around so that they can actually see it too. And they can go, ah you know, like, I don't just say I'm happy. I can say I'm ecstatic or I'm excited, you know, like let's get them really playing with it. And instead of just saying, oh, yeah, I'm good. Well, how are you really? Like what's a good better word that could describe how you're feeling?
00:09:41
Victoria R
And another example that was given was, all right, so one of the things that we often say when you, you know, you run into someone, someone's like, oh, how are you? Say, oh, yeah, I'm good, thanks. You know, automatically we say, yeah, I'm good, thanks.
00:09:55
Victoria R
And we might say, oh, yeah, I'm good. Like, yeah, I'm okay. Like, it doesn't really hold much for us. And it was mentioned that Tony Robbins often uses um the transformational vocabulary. So he will go and, you know, if someone says, oh, how are today? Goes, oh, I'm absolutely brilliant. Or he'll say something that's, you know, kind of really out there that most people are like, oh, oh, okay. Oh, and it's like, oh, well, how how do you then react when someone is approaching you with
00:10:27
Victoria R
I suppose just this uplifting vocabulary that they use in this uplifting language.
Assessing and Transforming Language Patterns
00:10:32
Victoria R
And usually what we find is that has a flow on effect. It kind of those good vibes rub off on everyone. Everyone's like, yeah, yeah, actually I feel like amazing too. Like it's, it's one of those things where,
00:10:43
Victoria R
You know, you've got one person that kind of lifts up the vibes and then most people would generally lift up their vibes and kind of meet them on that level as well. So I guess what I want us to really focus on is what are you often saying to yourself? What ah what is the language that you're using a lot during your day? And it's not always your internal language ah either. It can also be what you're saying out loud.
00:11:08
Victoria R
And I know some people like, you know, they're like, oh, um I'm just, that's just not me. You know, I just don't do that. And it's like, whatever they're saying is, it's so almost like it's gospel. that's That's it. That's cemented in stone where it doesn't have to be that way. It's like, okay like that ah doesn't have to be your identity.
00:11:29
Victoria R
you know, your language, the what you're choosing to do, that could be the start of kind of changing that trajectory as well. And I think this is where we're kind of missing that really key piece of the fact that our language is so powerful. So let's really just start paying attention to firstly, how are you speaking to yourself each day?
00:11:48
Victoria R
What are you saying to yourself? What are the the patterns that keep coming through? What are the things that you keep saying that maybe you're just keeping you that little bit stuck? Maybe they're stopping you from doing what you're you're potentially able to do.
00:12:02
Victoria R
And then I also want you to kind of pay attention to the language that you're using out loud. And maybe you are saying statements like, oh, that's just the way I am, or I am this, or I am not this, you know, and you' you're kind of limiting yourself to maybe an idea or an identity that no longer serves you anymore. Maybe it's something that you're no longer relating to, but you're still kind of stuck in in this pattern and saying, oh, this is who I am.
00:12:31
Victoria R
And it's become like your identity. So start just kind of thinking about the language that you're using. And then let's start looking at, for the children in our lives, let's start kind of tuning into what they're saying to themselves.
00:12:46
Victoria R
And kind of paying attention to the words that they're using, maybe how they're describing themselves or describing things that happen and just seeing what comes up when we're observing that as well. Because so often we're kind of just on autopilot. We're just moving through, you know, there's always a lot of us like, oh, I'm so busy. I'm so busy. And it's like,
00:13:07
Victoria R
okay, instead of saying that you're busy, because busy straight away, I know for most of us, we think of like rushed and frantic and all the rest of it. Could you try changing it to like, my life is really full, all right, or my life is really abundant right now, all right, and trying to kind of put that spin on it and making sure that we're kind of like so slowing down just to pay attention to what we're saying and to what those around us are saying.
Final Thoughts on Language and Positivity
00:13:33
Victoria R
And I could say a lot more about language, but I think we're just, let's just start there for the moment. Let's just start with observing what we're saying to ourselves, what we're saying out loud and what the people around us, especially the children in our lives might be saying as well.
00:13:47
Victoria R
And then trying to introduce a more positive vocabulary, more transformational vocabulary, as um Tony Robbins has said, and expanding on what we're actually saying. So, you know, instead of just focusing on, yeah, I'm good, what is something else that we can say to describe ourselves today, right? And things like, all right, I'm feeling this emotion, right?
00:14:14
Victoria R
how How do I name this emotion? Let's look at the emotions. We're like, which one is it exactly? Is it anger or is it frustration? Or maybe I'm just irritated. like you know which Which one is it? Let's kind of work out where I actually sit on this.
00:14:27
Victoria R
And I think once we start bringing that awareness to it, you'll probably start noticing and going, oh, okay. Yeah. There's a few things that I'm saying to myself that probably aren't um the most positive. So how can I spin this? How can I make it so that I'm feeling a lot better within myself? So yeah.
00:14:43
Victoria R
Yeah. Just keep your eye eye on that. And yeah, I'll speak to you soon.