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WTF News: Make it make sense
21 Plays1 month ago
Your #1 source in news to make you say WTF has a whole new week of news of the stupid and strange as well as the mandatory penis stories
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE Bio.link/nosensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Challenges of Podcast Promotion
00:02:52
Speaker
Oh, I'm not just fucking right. Oh, almost. Oh, I was masturbating. What the fuck? ah it is No, I was I was sharing the show out. I enjoyed a whole bunch of new podcasting. so ah podcast support groups, promote your podcast, blobby blah, blah, blah, blah. And I, you know, I know you guys don't understand how the sharing method works, but I share every show. I tried to share on Saturday and I got blocked like nine times. I don't give a damn if I get blocked 20 fucking times out of 40. Oh, I know. I'll get, I'll take the block. Hopefully, hopefully any of those channels that see us don't get too, but hurt.
00:03:41
Speaker
and we'll let us post it there. You're a prod, uh, promotes a podcast promoting Facebook page or a podcast support Facebook page. Well, I'll post it my shit so you guys can support it or I can promote it. So hopefully they don't get mad at me. If they do, ah I'll move on to the next one. You know, and I, what's the worst thing I got to say is don't do that again. And I'm going to go, I'll try to remember.
00:04:06
Speaker
No guarantees. i'll go tomorrow yeah No guarantees. I'll try to remember any who it's Wednesday. It's some day we've made it. We're on the downhill slope towards the end of the week. Well, some of us have nice long weekends. Yeah, you do. I actually start mine on tomorrow when I get off work and I'm out of it. How about that bitch until Tuesday? I would like to say, um, so you won't get a heart, an extra nap. That's it.
00:04:33
Speaker
I mean, I get to take naps just on my own time. yeah i'm there just say i can' pull From work today and I took a half hour nap. What are you talking about? I can't, I can't do naps anymore because the other day I was like, I'm going to take a nap. I woke up four hours later and then it was up until four o'clock. I've been taking, uh, like we'll, we'll finish the shows and I'll go out there and Nikki and I will start watching criminal minds.
00:05:01
Speaker
And I'll get in my recliner and I'll get comfortable and then all those off for like five, 10 minutes. And I wake up and I'm like, Hey man, I got my second wind, little cat nap, power nap, whatever, you know, like right in the middle of the, yeah right, like right in the middle of the episode. So I'm not missing like this the killer. You've already seen the beginning. You already figured out who the killer is. And now we just got to get through. the business Yeah, we got to get ready. Now we just got to get through the bullshit of them finding said killer. And then I wake up just in time to see the climatic ending. You know, actually, I started a show I think you would like. It's on Hulu. It's only murders in the building. I've been debating if I want to watch that show, but before we get into it. The first two seasons are pretty good. Check it out. I've been there. That's got Mila Cutis.
00:05:52
Speaker
No, it's uh martin short steve martin and selena gomez. Oh, yeah, selena gomez. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other the other cute dark-haired little tiny as fuck She's salty as fuck season one.
'What the Fuck News' Segment Intro
00:06:04
Speaker
She's just like she doesn't give a fuck nice But uh before before we go on a television show tangent, we're here for the news We're here for the news. Welcome to what the fuck one of the new seasons out Yeah. So that is new. yeah Welcome. Welcome to what the fuck news. He's Jeff. I'm Glick. It's just going to be the two of us tonight. Unless, uh, cam decides to, uh, I don't know why who his face again here on this network. I don't know. we We'll see what 400 emails says. No. Yeah.
00:06:41
Speaker
the HR nightmare that I've been dealing with since Saturday. camera such an a But no, welcome to what the fuck news. Basically if it's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck, we're going to talk about it and hopefully it makes you say what the fuck to actually know. Hopefully about it is definitely going to make you say what to call. I got a couple of them. And if the news story doesn't make you say what the fuck the way we talk about it, we're 100%. But we got the amendment to take care of first before we get into the news. First and foremost, y'all go check us out on the social medias.
00:07:11
Speaker
Go give us a follow, give us a like, give us a listen, and if you'd be so kind, give us a share. What do they say? Follow, like, subscribe, turn your notifications on, all that fun jazz.
Social Media and Live Show Promotions
00:07:23
Speaker
We are on all the socials, Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. We do shows live Monday through Sunday on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook.
00:07:34
Speaker
And you can listen anytime, anyplace, wherever you listen to podcasts at all at the nonsensical network, or you can simply go to bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. All of our social medias are right there. Easy for you to click on and give us a follow. And not only that, but ladies and gentlemen, we have merch now as well. And the store is fully open and rocking and rolling. So if you guys are interested in buying any gear or swag or whatever, feel free to head on over there. It is.
00:08:04
Speaker
nonsensical dash nonsense dot my spreadsheet dot com. I think I got that right. Without using a cheater. Anyways, the merch link is literally at the top of our. The top of our bio. And if you guys do decide to buy something and you want to send us a picture and it's alright with you, we'll throw it up on our social media as a way to give you guys a shout out and thank you guys.
00:08:33
Speaker
for for rocking our gear. um I think I'll be putting an order in at some point this weekend if I can stop and catch a breath sometime this weekend. yeah nipo
00:08:45
Speaker
ah But I know Nikki wants a hoodie, her dad wants a hoodie. I'm probably going to get a t-shirt and a hoodie. And I think Nikki wants a coffee. I want one of those, those metal mugs that you said. nick That's a camp mug. That's a camp mug. Yeah. you have won Yeah. Those are really cool. And I know I think that's what Nikki wants, but, um, so I might be putting an order in at some point this weekend. I know I'm going to be spending money on s SOB merchandise this weekend because dude, they've got to sell it out. They've got to sell an outlaw's cup. One of the tumbler cups.
00:09:19
Speaker
And one side one side has their logo on it. The other side is Donald Trump. You missed.
00:09:28
Speaker
and I would want one that says Southern Outlaws ban, My Spirit Animals Date. Just saying. If they do use that, I'm trademarking it now. I want to pay. I want $20.
00:09:42
Speaker
but But yes, we got we got merch. I do want to give a real quick shout out to Bobby Scott. Thank you for coming on the show last night. It was a lot of fun hanging out with him. And super cool. I got not one, not two, but three live songs he he did on the show, even got an original that I may have to blow up his spot and put it all over our socials because I'm I'm in love with the song. Motel and cop cars. I think that's my new favorite. I listened to it like 10 times today.
00:10:12
Speaker
I already knew the words to the song.
00:10:19
Speaker
I love it, dude. It's a great song. But I know we had fun. So shout out to Bobby Scott. You guys go check him out. He's on all the socials. Bobby Scott music. Go show him some love. And if you can't find him, just go to our socials. I've i've tagged him and stuff. And check him out and show him some love. He's new to the yeah to the internet to the socials game so he's he's he's learning as he goes um at that speaking of the southern outlaws band and speaking of
00:10:55
Speaker
oh calm down jules I'll get to you in a second. I didn't know that was call you yeah I was like actually that's funny that that happened.
Shoutouts and Announcements
00:11:03
Speaker
I was looking for a picture and I actually clicked on that, but I was actually getting ready to say something about Jules. Jules from Jules are Jules in the how our good friend out there in Cali kicking ass and taking names and being the little rock star that she is with her key to our shout out. Happy anniversary to her and her husband.
00:11:22
Speaker
today ah hopefully they're enjoying their their evening together and hopefully they have lots of plans. I'll let you guys but happy anniversary to Jules and uh she told me her plans were to watch this show. I mean, that sounds like a very romantic uh anniversary date. You know, cozy up with candlelight and what the **** news and what the **** Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I recommend that for date night all the time. Every actually
00:11:55
Speaker
Yeah Yeah any night. Yeah any night of the week you want to have date night Yeah, if you want to you want to have serious conversation Monday nights is your night if you're a music fan Tuesday nights now go up with your snuggle buddy and enjoy Glick's house of music Monday nights has been caring for men if you want some comedy based news What the fuck is going on in the world cuddle up? What the fuck news turn us on? Thursday night If you're a wrestling fan, you can gather the kiddos and you can sit down around your TV and watch Cassius Corner for wrestling talk. see fridays We are family oriented shows. Fridays, if you like to debate and and and have topical conversations, you can get you a nice glass of red wine and cozy up with with Blaze on whose argument it is in anyways. And then Saturday, if you feel a little rambunctious and you feel a little frisky, well,
00:12:49
Speaker
The guards go home for the night and the inmates take over the asylum on on nonsensical nonsense on Saturday nights. And they do a little thing that they call an open door
Network Segments and Audience Highlight
00:12:59
Speaker
challenge. And we invite all of our friends and viewers and listeners to come up and hang out with us live on the show. And then you wind down Sunday. If you're a car guy or a car gal and you can listen to Jeff and Benji talk about car stuff in Jeff's garage. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit of everything. Family oriented.
00:13:18
Speaker
Bring in families closer together one day at a time here at the nonsensical network date night Network, yes Date night family night Yeah, first day.
Ohio Live Event for Veterans
00:13:33
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, you want to make an impression on the young lady gentlemen? yeah boy were you Watching nonsensical nonsense on here for nonsensical never in all your kinks and red flags and green flags all in one Yeah, you tell her we're watching the nonsensical network tonight, baby the
00:13:51
Speaker
That's a guaranteed win win. that's But um this Saturday night, Newton Falls, Ohio, speaking of so the Southern Outlaws band. They're doing a live show up in Newton Falls, Ohio for at the five fours distillery. I know that says 7 PM and that's a typo. It actually show kicks off at 6 PM.
00:14:16
Speaker
But, um, I will be opening. I am the emcee of the night. So I'll be opening. I'll be on stage about five 45, do my little spiel, my little talky talk, try not to trip and fall on stage and embarrass myself too thoroughly.
00:14:34
Speaker
And then, uh, after I'm done, I'll be bringing Josh up on stage. Joshua Lee Nelson, he's going to be there doing his thing. Hey, you know, it's going to, and then, and then Josh will get done and I'll get to come back up and do a little talky talking again and hype up and bring up the main event. The, the, ah the main course of the night, if you will, the Southern Outlaws band will be performing and we're doing this to raise money for disabled veterans. So everything all ticket sales and whatnot like that, all the money raised there. Uh, there's going to be some surprises and some raffles and stuff like that.
00:15:11
Speaker
prizes. There's going to be merch there from the Southern Outlaws Band. But all money raised will be going to the DAV, the Disabled Veterans. So truly honored and privileged to be a part of this show. Definitely looking forward to hanging out with the guys from Southern Outlaws Band and Josh and Like I said, I'm sure there's probably going to be some shenanigans caused by Dave and I, I can, I'm calling it now. Dave and I are getting in trouble somehow, some way. yeah And it's not planned at all. It's just going to happen because Dave and I are like shenanigans. Yeah. thanos You're inevitable.
00:16:00
Speaker
That's the only time I will compare you to Thanos. It's inevitable. It's inevitable. yeah What's going on, Chris, technician? What's up, buddy? It's is inevitable.
00:16:13
Speaker
But you're going to go to jail. yeah yeah No, I know that no law will be involved. It's going to be shenanigans. I have a feeling there's going to be shenanigans of the legal variety they of of the legal variety. But it's going to be a good one. It's going to be a hell of a night with good music. It should be fun. Like I said, now you're going to bring up You're going to have photos of videos and stuff pop up on our Facebook page, correct? Yeah. So Nikki is going to take pictures of photos. I'm sure. So she's going to have somebody there doing videos and pictures that if I ask him for them, you know, I'll be able to get them as well. So there will be plenty that I'll be putting up on social media. Um,
00:17:08
Speaker
and and and bring into the show, I'll bring video-wise and stuff like that to the show um when I come back. Because I won't. Maybe we'll take a time. Well, shit, I don't know. Because if we could, oh, yeah, one more thing in the news.
Fantasy Football League Plans
00:17:24
Speaker
We are trying to put together a fantasy football league. We need need, at this point in time, we need three more teams. So if anybody's interested, hit us. We need at least, I think, three teams to fill a league.
00:17:37
Speaker
We're shooting for 10. But we need eight to fill the league. And then I'm hoping maybe next Wednesday we can take a part of the show and draft. There you go. Yeah. graph On the show. On that same note, I'm warning everybody. I'm going to win the whole fucking lot. So. um thank you I mean, if you say so. I almost did it last year.
00:18:05
Speaker
It wasn't for you weren have been remotely closed slash wasn't it for the the nine people in front of me, I would have won. Well, there was eight because you did do better than Brian. That's right. I did beat Brian. So there you go. Just say yeah it was close. Yes. Also, my first year ever, my first time ever playing fantasy anything.
00:18:32
Speaker
No, yeah I was going to say when you, when you were paying attention and making sure your roster was set up and stuff like that, game you did pretty good. And about halfway through the season, you stopped asking me for. but well And it was when I did ask for help, it was mainly like how the fucking app works because the problem I had and, and I'm sure I figured it out now, it'll come back to me. I'm sure. Was I would go to pick somebody and it wouldn't get it to me. Hmm.
00:19:01
Speaker
because it needed like a decision to be made or something like that. But other than that, I thought I did pretty good, considering I just with i was taking a shit. Hey, do you eat yet? You need to get something to eat because you need a shower tonight. What? Can I have some chocolate? OK, whatever you want, dude. There's plenty of stuff out there. But but yeah, like I said, the now doubtw if somebody other than me wins,
00:19:31
Speaker
or humans, we're doing a swag bag. Um, I would like to try to do something. Yeah. I would, I would like to try to, but I'm not guaranteeing it. Right. It comes down to how much money we actually have. Um,
00:19:49
Speaker
the shit cost money um
00:19:53
Speaker
that's it for announcements, right?
00:19:57
Speaker
uh god damn you know what i do apologize guys this is a long and this is this is a long intro ah by the time we get done with it we're gonna take our first break but it's just jeff and i tonight so we should be able
Anniversary and Celebration Events
00:20:09
Speaker
to get through a bunch of stories uh i know i've got like five or six but if i don't get all over yeah but if we don't get to them we'll have leftovers uh plus i got my penis stories so not my i have a i have a penis story i actually discover I actually have a penis, not my penis, but penis stories. Yeah, the that the horror stories. What you do behind the Walmart is a few yeah thet yeah the the penis horror stories. No. um So if we can get the league filled by next Wednesday, I'm going to draft next Wednesday. We'll do it live on the show.
00:20:47
Speaker
um Shout out to Derek Wayne Douglas. He's in there for, and I might see if he can come up Wednesday night and we can still bullshit and talk and whatever, but we don't have to do 100%, but we'll, we can do the draft live. Um, Brian's in there. So maybe we can get Brian to come up as well or whatever. I will do a draft show or something like that next Wednesday night. If we can get the lead full Monday night.
00:21:13
Speaker
Uh, we're going to take a little bit of a time out of break away from the normal conversation and Nikki's going to come on. Because on the seventh, which is next Saturday, not this Saturday coming up, but the next Saturday coming up is Buckeye. Don't act stone is doing their one year anniversary party with celebrating a beard, a beer leverage stay in national beard day. So they're going to have all kinds of different beers, um, up there.
00:21:42
Speaker
Uh, there's going to be a beard competition and then there'll be running, uh, specials and giveaways, I think. And, but Nikki's going to come up Monday night, um, and, and talk a little bit, uh, talk a little bit about what's going on. She obviously she's basically organizing it and putting it all together. So, and then we'll be there. Uh, well, I'll be there. The show will be there that Saturday night and I'll be there in person. Um, and then like I said, I've got a.
00:22:11
Speaker
And i'm just I'm telling everybody now, you ever hear a William Tell? leave it at that yeah good Nobody nobody is knocking a beer can off the apples. um so like yeah ah Hey, i i but at hey buddy, you ever heard of William Tell? No. Okay. We'll go down there and stand at the end of the alley. Put this beer can on your head and I'm going to throw the axe and stick it into the beer can. saying That's a game.
00:22:39
Speaker
not real Um, but Nikki will be coming on and talking about that. We'll be there live, um, participating and, and introducing our shenanigans to, uh, get ready America. Cause nonsensical nonsense is about to run wild on you. What you going to do brother? When the nonsensical network and nonsensical nonsense and these four eighties pythons run wild on you. That sounds dirty. Shut up.
00:23:09
Speaker
It's going to go wild on you. It's not the dirtiest thing that's going on in Newark. Let's be honest. this I love you, Newark. You're home. But yeah, so I think that's enough pronouncements. I think they were. Well, sorry, it was a lot. No, and and we got a lot going on. we we' We're getting bigger and stronger and I love it. But I want to start off tonight with a trivia question for you, sir. Oh, look at that. Time to go to break.
00:23:38
Speaker
yeah just just so It's a simple question. What is the fastest man-made object ever? ever? Yeah. Fastest man-made object to get to a certain to to the fastest speed ever. I would take some kind of ride. Well, you would be wrong.
00:24:05
Speaker
The fastest band man. It is the jet. It is the jet that Tom Cruise flew and Top Gun Maverick. No, it is not the telephone. Brian. It is actually a manhole cover. And I'll explain why. In 1957 they were testing out the atomic bomb. And the way they tested it is they buried it. And they they had a drain pipe on top of it. They put a manhole cover on the drain pipe as one does.
00:24:33
Speaker
Then when the bomb went off, the manhole cover shot into space and is currently so circling earth at 130,000 miles per hour. It is the fastest man-made object ever.
00:24:54
Speaker
i' not buy but you stole let's do it um It is 100% accurate. Like I said, I was telling you today, I saw this on TikTok. I was like, there's no way in hell it's true. Here it is, 1957. The manhole cover is estimated to have left the ground at 37 miles per second, coming out at a whopping speed of 130,000 miles per hour. Damn. That's quick. I don't care who you are.
00:25:26
Speaker
You say bull ain't got shit on a man called just say and so but out in space Well, shot so because it's an atomic bomb it's like Illitons, you know, it's shot so far and so fast it Broke Earth's gravity and it is currently circling earth Yeah, there you go brian said I ain't eating that ever. Like I said, that would feed me for just motherfucker sent me. You know, he's convinced that I can eat. It's just I think it's out in Vegas. I don't know where the hell it's at, but it's just fucking burger. The patty is five pounds. It has one pound of bacon on it. Yeah, that has one pound of bacon on it.
00:26:16
Speaker
And then all the toppings and everything, the the burgers got away close to 10 pounds. And then they yeah then they, and then they, and then they had a side of French fries. That's it's five pounds of French fries and Brian's convinced that I, and I'm like, five pounds of French fries. That's a lot of potatoes. That's a lot of starch. da Dallas, Dallas, Texas. Oh, that's where it said Dallas. I'm like, bro, I like i don't eat like like, I don't eat like that. I'm not, I'm not, I don't have a big guy, but I'm not challenging your dude. I, I mean, I came up today.
00:26:46
Speaker
I came home today and had two left over. I had two left over burritos. It's like 80 bucks, I think. I had two leftovers burritos from Taco Bell yesterday and I'm stuffed. You know, and they're not very big. I mean, it's just a bean and rice and cheese. Granted, I put potatoes and stuff like that in it, but. And I was good.
00:27:14
Speaker
Authentic chicken food. so so you guys that i lost Talk about did you did you see what I said the group chat today? should sent it to cameron
00:27:28
Speaker
What That's crazy, but here's the thing that manhole cover I'm assuming it's made out of metal wouldn't it have melted like going through you would think it's it's the manual covers are actually they're the composite they're not solid steel they're they're carbon and steel so when taking 57 huh even back in 57 well yeah they haven't really changed the design i don't know i'm just but yeah asking questions sir i don't know there there's that's the manual cover basically that's a plastic one but you know
00:28:08
Speaker
Uh, only the one side, hit but as it's flying through the air, you know, it's, I'm sure if it, like supposedly to actually, the reason why satellites fall from earth is they, they fall in a degenerative path and then they get sucked in by earth's gravity. I don't think the manhole cover is actually circling the planet. I think it just got shot in one direction. It's still going like it's out by Mars and shit right now.
00:28:37
Speaker
because it's 1957 it's 130 000 miles an hour it's moving at a quick flip but when if it were to come into a gravity and it breaks the the earth's gravity then it would probably melt like a meter right does but i saw that i was like that is insane because that's quick You know, a lot of the questions I saw on the the video that I saw it on, they were like, it's got to be like a bullet or, you know, as you said, a jet or a plane.
Trivia and Bizarre Facts
00:29:11
Speaker
Well, a, a, the fastest jet only does what was it like? 8,000 miles an hour. Uh, the fastest rocket does 17,000 miles now. This has got all those beat by multiples.
00:29:31
Speaker
yeah But yeah, insane. I was going to show a video, but all the videos about it are like over three minutes. um Danger's pretty close in the Brian territory. Yeah, exactly. But I do have a interesting story. you We were talking about food a minute ago. So be the judge of that.
00:29:59
Speaker
Well, this, I told this to the wife today and she lost it. She said, you gotta show this one. So in, uh, Orlando, cause it's Florida, a woman was arrested at a restaurant. Do you know why she was a restaurant in Orlando, Florida? Yeah. She was at a restaurant. I'll give her that. She probably tried to bring her, um, bring her, uh,
00:30:29
Speaker
the hell are them goddamn animals called that an alligator? No. Well, I was going to say, uh, the, uh, support animals, uh, the fucking, no, nothing. crazy I was going to say her, so her emotional support alligator. Well, think less crazy. She allegedly threw a plate of ravioli at her sister. Do you know why she threw said played ravioli?
00:30:56
Speaker
She was sleeping with their brother. And she refused to share.
00:31:04
Speaker
Her sister's like, no, you ain't getting them out of my So she fucking threw it at her. Were they like 12? Or are these adults? but She's 21. 21? She was arrested on battery charges according to the, I can't, the county sheriff's office.
00:31:25
Speaker
ands may So, Davis's sister,
00:31:32
Speaker
she said when the sister didn't allow Davis to have any of her food despite she so she got mad and attempted to throw the ravioli at her. Shout out to Florida boy. You guys don't fuck her up.
00:31:50
Speaker
This isn't Jeff. This isn't Jeff or I. D. I only eat my pasta out of a bucket. I mean, Sharon, I hear that. but but She said, you know, if I don't get any pasta, you don't get any pasta. Nobody gets any pasta. No pasta for nobody. But yeah, she she she went to jail. I just got that funny.
00:32:21
Speaker
ah Chris, we are about that age. Oh, Florida, Florida, Florida. We are about that age, sir. And that age is, well, you you know, you got to get the old one, two finger because they check for stuff. Yeah, I think I'll just diet colon cancer. You and me both, buddy, because I'm i'm out, especially after this one.
00:32:42
Speaker
yeah awesome here's Here's the thing for me. Yeah. Doctor, I know the demons that come out of this asshole. but You don't want to, you really want to go sticking your fingers up there. Exactly. Well, this is not, helic I'm not held responsible for what happens to you. Well, this, this is another reason that I'm not going to go get a colonoscopy. A Florida doctor forgot to wear his hearing aid and could not hear the colonoscopy patients screaming in complaint.
00:33:20
Speaker
Why would you lay there? If you're in pain and Doc's not giving a shit, why are you still sitting there? Get the fuck up. Number one. But according to the Florida Board of Medical, Dr. Earshwa, like some Indian guy, couldn't hear the patient yelling in pain because he wasn't wearing his hearing aids. He's not allowed to perform colonoscopy from now on.
00:33:47
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. You think? Facing deliberate action. The state official says he yeah his failure to wear hearing aids during a colonoscopy left a patient screaming in pain. ah According to the Department of Health, he could actually get up to two years of jail time. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Like ah negligence. Yeah.
00:34:15
Speaker
but james do when, when, when it got reported, he was called and he was unable to form any procedures effective immediately is what they told him. Yeah. I'm, it's, I'm not, oh, nope, nope, not doing it. Keep your fucking mitts to yourself, Pedro. time not Jesus. All right. Um,
00:34:49
Speaker
I'll just take my chances, man. In all honesty, I'll just take my chances. ah I'll run it. Whatever happens, happens at the end of the day. He dies. He dies, right? Yeah. on it that Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's that's oof. I got a couple more, but if you want to go to break now is birth time. Yeah, we can go ahead and take a real quick break.
Music and Artist Features
00:35:16
Speaker
getting right on that time we're gonna we're gonna take a real quick little break break and i got i got music tonight um from uh our new friend uh bobby scott he came on glitz house of music last night we hung out and uh like i said he did a couple uh i guess you could say live performances on the show it was really cool um he came ready to he he was ready to go man he i was like you know i don't ask my guests to do songs live but if it's something you want to do I'm not going to stop you, you know, so you came ready to go. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I got I got a couple songs by him tonight and one he he he did a cover of which I thought he killed. And then he redid the cover of it today. um Just for being on the show last night, it's like he had it like that. I'm going to change it now. He just he just he just wanted to update it. It was an older cover that he did. He just wanted to update it and you know,
00:36:15
Speaker
put it out on socials and, uh, tag, tagged us in it, uh, here at the network. So I was able to, uh, go grab it right off of his Facebook page. Uh, so I can, but I'm not, I'm going to play actually one of his originals. He said he's only written a couple of songs and this is one of them and I love it. Ignore the video part of it. It was live on the show last night. Um,
00:36:38
Speaker
and and And I had about six different things going on. yeah i got But, ah you know, he he still he went live and it's fucking awesome. This is one of his original songs called Motel and Cop Cars. And I love this fucking song. I hope you guys like it, too. Motel and cop cars.
00:37:56
Speaker
But shout-outs when she arrives. Daddy knows she isn't right, she's 12 weeks and long. That little girl is said, don't you push her out that door.
00:39:00
Speaker
So Daddy did what Daddy said he'd do She's too young and he's too old And that pistol still feels as cold And in a motel room just down the hall If you were there, you could hear that hammer fall
00:39:58
Speaker
That one come out a little bit better.
00:40:02
Speaker
I like that. I love that. So I told him, I said, you need to put that shit out everywhere, man. I said, I will put that out everywhere. I'm about to do it for him. I was going to say, throw that shit on TikTok now. Yeah. I know it was Bobby Scott with the motel and cop cars. Let us know what you guys think about that. If you're out there listening or if you're catching a replay or whatever the case may be, let us know what you think. Like I said, he hasn't written many songs.
00:40:32
Speaker
And that's one of his originals. And I personally, I love it. I've been jamming out to it all day. So, you know, go show Bobby some love guys. Go drop a follow on him. He should be following all my former guests because they're all freaking awesome. Right.
00:40:49
Speaker
Not hard to find. Just go to our social media and follow us. Bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. All of our socials are there. Follow this. I make, I make posts on our Instagram every week for my guests and you can just go and and go, Oh, this is what Click did this Tuesday. And this is Click. I'm going to go follow. It's easy. And then make sure you're following us too. Most importantly, follow us and then follow them.
00:41:10
Speaker
but true
00:41:14
Speaker
Um, um There's a random question. Sure. Two box ginger just just shot a message. Do you eat hot dogs?
00:41:32
Speaker
um Yes, I love lips and assholes. Yeah. Well, she said, I'm a little scared to answer that question.
00:41:51
Speaker
today's Today's thing we do to mess with Glick is we ask him random um great of questions when he's live on a show. um Anywho, welcome back to What the Fuck News, everybody.
Space News and Speculations
00:42:03
Speaker
ah The artist that just played was Bobby Scott. You can find him everywhere. Go show him some love. Give him a follow. um Jeff, you were talking about talking about space yeah earlier. Have you heard about the the two astronauts that are went out for a three-hour tour? and Now we're never coming back. Well, they're supposedly being rescued by Elon Musk, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. they went out it was it was ah it was ah it was ah It was supposed to be an eight-hour trip. Now they're going to be up there until February of next year. And old Elon Musk is coming to save the day. He's like, I mean, we can get rescued, y'all, but it's going to be like eight months.
00:42:47
Speaker
Well, not only that, I actually, because the, the, I actually heard this story and the suits that these guys are, they're like, they're spacesuits. They're made by Boeing and they're not compatible with Elon Musk shit. So not only do they have to like change suits, Elon's like, Hey, you guys got to change the clothes. You can't come into my nice clean ship for that dirty shit. I'm just saying. Yeah. Well, that's, the that's the thing. Um,
00:43:16
Speaker
Bowling, you're not really winning any friends as of lately. You guys have had issues with your planes. Now you got spaceships. So here's my question. Eight months and the astronauts um are.
00:43:32
Speaker
What the hell is their damn names? Butch Wilmore and sun and Sonny Starliner. How long until they're fucking? Right.
00:43:45
Speaker
I get bored. Let's do this. It's a dude and a chick. I mean, how long until they're fucking? now Yeah, but doesn't NASA, like they have like comms and stuff. So it's like, again, how long until they're fucking all the time? They watch. Yeah. But so do all those reality shows where people fuck on them all the time. That's a good point. The question still stands. How long until they're fucking?
00:44:15
Speaker
Well, it also depends. I mean, does he look like you and me or does he look like fucking Brad Pitt, you know? I mean, he looks like an old school jarhead that's been retired from the Marines for about 20 years. So, so he's not a terrible looking cat. Well, yeah, he's older, you know, he's got the the crew cut and the big brown fat head and like a stocky build. He looks like he might be only about three and a half feet tall, but I mean,
00:44:43
Speaker
eight Honestly, it's funny. That's all that matters. I mean, again, you're stuck in a spaceship by yourselves for fucking close to eight months. Yeah. Just get it in. I'm just saying, hey. um I would have been i would trying to do that for day one. Like, so we're going to be up there alone. I'm bringing condoms just in case. I mean.
00:45:06
Speaker
Wouldn't that be like weird if she if they came back and then she was pregnant?
00:45:13
Speaker
Well, I'm just going to be my other question question because there's no gravity up there. So like, even if he, uh, you know, oatmeal cream pider, then when that's still like, it well, you i like it's like it just won't float down. It'll just come out and look like a boo. Like what if she wanted a facial and she was like, I'm going to get facialized. And he was just like, you and it is you know, it's like,
00:45:36
Speaker
and it just hos she has to move her face just like
00:45:47
Speaker
yeah and they say i'm the perverted one Actually, that's kind of It would be kind of cool to have section zero grab me though, too
00:46:01
Speaker
And that's the other thing. How hard would it be to have sex to zero gravity? Well, yeah, I mean, you don't get it. There's no torque. Let's be honest. There's zero torque. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Homeboy better be swinging a fucking hammer.
00:46:15
Speaker
Yeah. No, but like they have like you yeah ever seen the movie Space Camp? What up, John? How are you doing, brother? but maybe like nineteen eighty five yeah yeah just say baby when it came out like At one point, the girl breaks her arm and they strap her to the wall. So if they use the wall that they can strap to, then they can maybe get some torque. What? Well, I mean. Because in in like you're youre and not a diss or anything, but you're a much bigger guy than I am. But in zero gravity, I could push you away with my finger.
00:46:55
Speaker
Yeah, but I mean, but we've also seen other space movies like I mean, aliens are not floating around the spaceship. They have like, it's like gravity stuff, don't they? like Jason in space, they're like all running through the, I've seen Star Trek. They're not all floating. They're just walking around the space. I'm going to say something you say to me all the time. that's No, because the, the anti-gravity thing is the whole wall. yeah Or, or does she like hold the wall and sp spread her legs and then he like blows back to the wall and then he like pushes off the wall. It would be the longest.
00:47:32
Speaker
normal motion you're like, yeah, you know what? I mean, it's been like five months since I've had sex and I'm super horny, but yeah, this just isn't doing it for me. um I'm going to go in the back and jerk off. I'll be right back. I mean, but yeah, I mean, couldn't you, do I mean, just like he could be standing up or she could like float on her back and he could just like grab her hips and maybe I don't know. Well, yeah, you can get it that way. Until she like floats around and just see like floats around and cracks her skull on the side. Houston, where is that we have a problem. We was fucking and there's blood floating around of here. Sunny, Sunny tripped and hit her head on the, on the, on the hall. It was doorknob. No, I think, I think ah like it's, it's inevitable. They're going to fuck.
00:48:26
Speaker
it's It's enough. Yeah, I would put so too. The logistics of having sex in space. it's It's a new one. Nobody's ready for it. And I'm mad that I'm not going to be the first to do it. I'm sure people have had sex in space. I'm sure they're not going to be the first to do it. I was going to say, but like this will be well reported because they're bored.
00:48:57
Speaker
but like I think, ah and you know, you want to talk about mile high club multi mile high. I was going to say that's like a one another, that's a whole nother club. VIP style. It's a whole nother club and its own. I don't know. Like I said, yeah first and foremost, when you said their names, I thought they were both dudes. That's a dude.
00:49:26
Speaker
yeah Let her hold the wall, says John. Hold on. Just grab that hand. Just a little prick.
00:49:38
Speaker
You're not going nowhere. Well, hold on a second. I still haven't quite figured out how to swim in space yet. Come back here. Is he going to fall on Pepe Le Pew?
00:49:53
Speaker
But the the beauty of space is no matter what you do, you're smooth because you just, it's all. Oh yeah. Even when you look like a complete buffoon, you're still at smooth because it's in slow motion. It's all in slow motion in space too. Oh yeah. That's how, that's how it works. Everything's slow motion.
00:50:10
Speaker
yeah and wrong ah Oh no. I'm coming.
00:50:26
Speaker
I'm coming. Get it off my face. Get it off my face. Oh, you know, just a normal Wednesday night. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Why would the boners stuff not work? Zero. That's not how boners work. I'm sorry.
00:50:46
Speaker
Is my dick going to be bigger, like, in space? If that's it, sign me up. Does Boner stuff go upright? Oh, okay. yeah Well, that's what we were saying. In zero gravity, if she wanted a basil, she's got to move into it. just is short cover She's playing hungry hungry hippos. More Pac-Man.
00:51:12
Speaker
I want, I want, I want, I want, I want. You know what? You know what? Who would be great at that is those chicks and dudes that are into BDSM. Because you like, you have to hold on. It's not like, you don't there, you can't let gravity do the work. You got to actually put some... I'm just saying. I don't know. I don't know that. That was my first thought when I, when I heard, when I read that story. I was like,
00:51:41
Speaker
I wonder how long until they start fucking each other? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why didn't I think of that? I thought it may be because I thought it was two dudes and I was like, why are you thinking they're going to I've been bored before, buddy, but I've never been that fucking bored. um because i yeah My first thought was, dang, I wonder if they're going to have enough oxygen for the next eight months or if I wonder if they'll have enough food or water or whatever. I don't know what they, supplies. No, it was, I wonder how long until they start fucking each other.
00:52:11
Speaker
He's we're going down. I'm going to be in that box. zaah Spaceship isn't the only thing going down if you know what I mean. She's floating away. He's like, no, down, down. No, I was usually i it you can like, suck yeah I would a blowja you want You want to hear something that'll blow your mind. In space, there is no up and down. It's just left and right.
00:52:40
Speaker
No, there's no left and right. There's no direction in space. Just to say what's you right, up or down. and There you go, see? That's why I said I could lift her with one finger. I look super strong.
00:52:57
Speaker
Well, you also have to remember they're astronauts. They're physically fit. I mean, they're not just sending you and I up in the space. They're not sending a mama June up there. Like, you know, I was going to say, you do realize astronauts have to be physically. Yeah. Like I said, that that's just not calling me anytime soon saying, Hey, fat boy. you're what Yeah. Cause that's the first people they call when they're sending people space, they call click and I first, like you guys want to go. And we're like, nah, we're Blitz afraid of heights and I got shit to do. Yeah, this isn't that Bruce Willis movie where they just, Willie Nilly sending random people. We need two, we need two podcasters to go up in space. Like really? And you chose us? I'm glad that I'm good. I could think of a few podcasters that I'm pretty sure live in fucking space as it is. Yeah, that's how boners work.
00:54:00
Speaker
but yeah Yeah. that's said ah Like, as I said, what if she comes back and she's pregnant? And how does that work? Because don't you age slower in space? No, you you degenerate less. Okay, like your bone? No, because your bones don't compress.
00:54:28
Speaker
because there's zero gravity.
00:54:33
Speaker
Hey, astronaut lady. You know, there's 278 bones in the body, 279 if I'm inside you. And we're in space and we got eight months and nothing to do. We're going to lose them. It's scientific. We have to test this theory. You're just there like having your space dinner one night. and so how you like popcorn yeah yeah pop ah
00:55:04
Speaker
yeah
00:55:09
Speaker
yeah see they lose it yes Yes, 100% of it's just the two of us, we're still going to test our sex theory. oh yeah we're gonna tell it like guess Jeff's going to go, I got an idea. I'm like, all right, I already know what it is. Just bend over. Let's get this over with. I'm going to pretend like the deaf doctor. You know what? He's really dodgeball with with his bum. He's like, yeah, he didn't give me. Like handball, you know. Yeah.
00:55:41
Speaker
Look, we made our own version of palm.
00:55:47
Speaker
yeah And I hate to break it to you if anybody goes this with Jeff within 15 minutes of them being there just go be trying to fuck like As we're taking off like, you know, we're fucking We're gonna be up there for a while, it's just me and you we're gonna have some sex rock on wow once too Well, no, but i asked I asked what happens if she comes back pregnant. And the reason why I asked that, an inmate in the Miami-Dade jail became pregnant while in jail and gave birth while in jail. That happens all the time. But nobody knows why.
00:56:37
Speaker
family um who the the inmates family said uh the you know the baby was born a couple days ago uh they still the questions still remain on how this could happen while she was behind bars well crystal welcome a new baby girl when a when a daddy likes a mommy exactly sometimes the daddy takes his penis and puts it in mommy's vagina And sometimes daddies forget to pull out. And then an egg is fertilized. He is being smart because my first thought was, as a jailer, I'm like, hey, I don't care if you're a murderer. Someone needs to knock it down. Johnson. But in all honesty, the guard, whoever, if it was a guard or whatever that impregnated her, or maybe there was one of them trans people that were in there. Yeah, there's that too.
00:57:35
Speaker
um well that if they hook up with a, with an inmate or whatever, not only can they lose their job, but there's also, uh, they'll lose that there legal action. It's illegal. So, um, she ended up pregnant under the, uh, yes, you you can consent, but it is still illegal and it's still legal because it's, if you're in a position of authority, ah um,
00:58:02
Speaker
i like it 22 year old, sorry, 29-year-old, ah was being held with no bond since January 2022 on secondary murder charges.
00:58:17
Speaker
um She called us and told us she was sexually assaulted and that she was three months pregnant. So she claimed she was sexually assaulted. Now, the prison says that the reason why they think she got pregnant was that a male prisoner passed her some sperm as in like, here, put this in your Gucci.
00:58:46
Speaker
So that's the, there, there's no evidence that there was sexual battery at all. There's no, nobody's come out and said, yeah, I, I point her, but The jail is saying maybe a male inmate passed her some sperm. There's a possibility too.
00:59:12
Speaker
as oneza Unfortunately, ah you know, well, unfortunately. Yeah. However, however you want us in there or whatever, but inmates and guards have sex all the time.
00:59:25
Speaker
and whether you, yes, it does happen, coercion, no consent, you know, graping, whatever, but it also happens a lot where they do do give consent and it's not being forced or anything else. There was a lady inmate, I think in Florida last week that got fired and was facing all kinds of charges because she was an OnlyFans model and was fucking inmates and making videos and putting them on our OnlyFans. Wait, what's her page?
00:59:56
Speaker
just Just Google it. So to instantly go to the, oh my God, it's great, is, is, is ridiculous. Well, and like I said, yeah I think it comes down to the reason why she went to, she was sexually assaulted. And if she's hiding it,
01:00:17
Speaker
then she's so she's um hiding it because there's
01:00:22
Speaker
Well, my father, yeah, she's protecting or she's trying, she knows she's ah she's not getting out of jail anytime soon. Well, just last year just last year there there was that female guard down in Florida that fell in love with the murderer guy and and they were banging all the time and then she helped them escape. yeah And then i think i think gene I think he wound up killing one other person when they were out and then she killed herself.
01:00:50
Speaker
And I think he got killed by the cops or something. Yeah. I don't think male guards should be in female prisons. And I don't think females should be in male prisons at the end of the day. I don't i don't think that I think I think in female prisons, it should be all female guards and and and even the warden should be a female and vice versa for men. I don't think that you should. You should not mix the sexes when it comes to ah jail.
01:01:22
Speaker
regardless of identify, but also the same thing. I was going to say the same thing. If, if you can commit a crime and you're going to jail, you don't get to pull the I'm trans card and you still got a pecker. yard of a female prison Actually not, but I say you should one guy did. and yeah And then they had a slew of women get pregnant in jail. No, that's what I'm saying. Just because you say you're trans doesn't mean you get to go to the,
01:01:49
Speaker
you're going to the prison of saying if I ever have to go to prison, I'm pulling the I'm I'm a female because you're going to tell if you got a tally wacker, you're going to the **** male prison. If you got a the you're going to the female prison. I'll identify as a woman. If you want to be around and pretend like you're a woman, guys, you're going to love you in the male prison.
01:02:12
Speaker
yeah yes they will um Oh, you know, we were talking about the the the astronauts having sex.
Bizarre News Stories
01:02:25
Speaker
No, he can't. It's Jeff. It's just his natural voice. Well, not just to get a little bit creepy, but speaking of creepy, we're talking about the astronauts having sex. Chris, when is a good time not to have sex at the dinner table at Thanksgiving? Well, there is a
01:02:47
Speaker
ah Hold on, let me find it here. Florida, these three Florida women decided to, they were arrested for, they decided to have a lesbian threesome in public by the pool while kids were around. And the article says their motto was, when it's right, it's right.
01:03:16
Speaker
just So, you're muted. Wait, a group of lesbians decided to have sex in a pool when a bunch of kids were around like a public pool. Florida women arrested after lesbian threesomes in public. a Florida women's women look like was arrested. out Unfortunately, they don't have pictures. Actually, actually they got a video.
01:03:45
Speaker
it's it's not of the But where they are oh And I got delete your comment you can't you're not allowed to comment here I have to delete it ah yeah So you put away your finish you you some way I that's my um I mean did they look like i mean what i'm just so Well I'll send you the article buddy and I'll say this and I'll say this much this is why I want to know what they look like I Because this is our society that we live in. It's a double standard, right? Because if they're hot, it's OK. Yeah, if they're hot, they're going to get a slap on the wrist and get some fines and penalties. But if they look like a bunch of beached manatees, the same thing Brian's into, manatees and dolphins. I mean, RIP, Brian, you were a good friend. You were taken from us too soon. I don't mean to besmirch a dead man's name. I won't show the video, but that's one of the women. Oh, OK.
01:04:45
Speaker
She's not terrible looking, but i'm just saying I i'm tempted to play the video, but i'm afraid of what it might show. Um do it do it yeah you really like can any worse what happened saturday night I agree.
01:04:58
Speaker
So the florida woman were arrested after having a lesbian threesome in public It happened in a pool in front of children Even if their motto is when it's right is right. It is considered You have to consider your surroundings choosing to engage and i be i stuck out in public that I don't agree with you. Nobody should be doing anything sexual with children are present. I don't give a damn who you are, but I mean, like if they're there and it's dark and nobody's around and you start doing your thing and then a bunch of kids show up. It's like, whoa, wait a minute. We were, you know, we like wast I like, yeah.
01:05:40
Speaker
yeah you know, or, you know, private pool or something like, you know, save their shenanigans for your, own yeah for your own house. If you're at the pool, how far away is your hotel room or bedroom? I mean, honestly. Yeah, I'm just, yeah, as I said, save that, save that shit for yours. Hey, you know what? Sometimes when the urge hits, man. ah So I said, when it's right, it's right, baby. valuable you
01:06:05
Speaker
oh shit eyes go i'm sure I'm sure it wasn't the guys calling the cops. Let's be honest. Cameron tried to get us canceled on on Saturday night. Oh, he almost succeeded with the words that he said. Almost got us. can I'm never going to let him live that down, especially since he feels bad.
01:06:29
Speaker
ah Chris, you worked as ah and a bouncer. You ever kicked somebody out? No, Jeff. Never. No, never. Well, what have they? I know you have, but have they ever tried to get revenge? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, a Florida man. Oh, dude, you got to play this video of the lesbians. You got to play this video of the lesbians. The first like five seconds is going to be gold, bro. All right. Give me a second here.
01:07:04
Speaker
Yeah. Don't play the whole video because it's like 20 minutes long. I'm going to watch this video there because I want to see. Oh, yeah. This is not that is not. Will is being. Yeah, that's. You just got to play the first few seconds. We're over here in the pool, eating each other out, bro. In front of kids. um
01:07:26
Speaker
and i got but ah They're over there in the pool eating each other out, bro. but That's all I wanted. if He said, I got pictures. What? Of course he got pictures. Yeah. My new spirit animal. I got pictures. i mean They over there in the pool eating each other out, bro. I'm like, what? I got pictures, he said.
01:07:58
Speaker
So as I was saying, uh, this man decided he's going to get revenge after getting kicked out of a nightclub. Oh yeah. we've i've I've had, I've had that happen. I did. I can't tell you how many times you throw somebody out half hour later, they're like, or when the, when the club closes or the bar closes, they're waiting out in the park. And it's like, what are you doing? Well, I already got your ass kicked once because we're at the point where we're throwing somebody out. We're literally as Ron light once said six bouncers.
01:08:28
Speaker
Well, he was not through as as as the late great Patrick Swayze once said, be nice. He didn't play nice. He drove his semi truck into the club. Oh, yeah, that was a ship club in Florida. Yeah, right. Yeah. Well, it's a semi.
01:08:51
Speaker
Yeah. So that's something that's right through the side of the building and one dead, two injured. Mm hmm. Hey, you know, a loss of life, a loss of life is terrible. And I, and I preference that with my, because of my next sentence. Right. Fortunately, it was only one person because that could have been a lot worse. But yeah, yeah. Homeboy got kicked out and got his, got his field ads hurt and was like,
01:09:22
Speaker
Papa loved mama, but Papa drove a truck all his life, man. He was shifting gears and never hit the brakes. They had the words of Garth Brooks. But I actually have a video, and I have it muted so we can actually just kind of have it on the background as we talk. But but there it is. He drove a full-on truck right into it, boy. rule It's not a small truck. But yeah. he He got kicked out and ran in with the semi truck. This has happened in Tampa, by the way. It doesn't look like you got that far in. He must have backed out, but but yeah, I saw that and I was like, that's fucked up. There are time when I've gotten kicked out of a bar. I'm like, all right, fuck it. I'm just going to go home. This guy's. Yeah, yeah, that's um like can most most people. That's a response with shit. I guess I'm going to another bar or another club or
01:10:21
Speaker
You know, whatever they're not. Yeah, but no, I have had people like waiting in the parking lot. I had one guy try to run a server one night. We're going to actually open fire on us. Nice. Which was like the one club I worked at was like, Hey, we have three special duties police officers that stand outside the club because once we throw them out, once we throw them out, then whatever happens outside is between those special duty cops and said drunk jackets.
01:10:51
Speaker
But at the end of the night, we always had like two or three cruisers that would come up to the parking lot, because it was a big club or whatever. This dude opened fire without missing a beat. Fucking like eight cops opened fire right now. And I'm like, yo, I'm just standing here by the door and everybody, you know, like a couple of my bartenders, they were shitting themselves, scared to death. And I'm like, i you know, nobody was killed, but he definitely learned a lesson that, you know,
01:11:22
Speaker
Guns are greater than one gun. and It'll change your mind real fast in a hurry. I have to, I have a caveat to this story before, this next story before I tell it. I was not there. And I'm saying that because, Chris, you know me. What would happen when I left the school parking lot when we were in high school?
01:11:46
Speaker
What would happen to you or what would you do? What what what would I do as I left? You were always squealing your tires like a dildo. Yeah. So ah a Florida man faces DUI charges after he leaves the bar. He exited the bar doing a burnout and then slammed into a patrol car.
01:12:07
Speaker
she she she yes yes My man looks like I'm going to show off and slammed into a police car. That'll definitely ruin your weekend plans. Yeah, he busted.
01:12:20
Speaker
Uh, not only did he get the DUI charge, but his car, it, and it doesn't look like he hit very hard, but he, threw barred the car a little bit. I got a picture here. Uh, Oh boy had his new Camaro just showing off a little bit. He slammed right into the front lock ah car. yeah yeah And he's like, I'm going to jail. yeah So, is sir, you are. Uh,
01:12:49
Speaker
I have one other one. As you know, you said you have penis stories. A victim escapes bus stop sexual assault by allegedly fighting the suspect's penis. Off or just biting it?
01:13:09
Speaker
No, just a bit. um And it's loading. For some reason, it's taking forever to load. There it is. A man was arrested after his victim thwarted the sexual assault at a bus stop by allegedly biting his penis to escape.
01:13:28
Speaker
On our August 7th, officers from the Margaret Police Department responded a 911 call from a caller who allegedly was witness to the assault and attempted sexual battery in progress of this block, blah, blah, blah. ah According to the report upon arrival, MPD MPD officers reported being flagged down by a witness who observed a black man attacking a black female in the area. Officer soon... witnessed, soon after that, witnessed the suspect, later identified as Devon, who was 40, assaulted the victim in the middle of the highway.
01:14:22
Speaker
i am she bit his penis so she's good he's gonna he's gonna kill him nice he was running down his pants on set that partially pulled down and with his fully exposed penis it's getting even bit by penis
01:14:51
Speaker
yeah five be ah fast
01:14:56
Speaker
u um soundc clip in that so please keep saying and keep saying and again that'll definitely ruin your weekend plans
01:15:10
Speaker
That's the last one I have for tonight. oh say i get arsholes you get autistical arsalles Well, let's let's take ourselves a real quick little little break and cleanse our palates and then we'll come back and I got a couple stories I'll hit here and um you definitely got more penis stories. That's that's for sure. That is for sure. That is not the end of your penises stories at the end of the day. Um
01:15:47
Speaker
The bite, I mean it. I think she said I bite. I mean, but not the penis. Is that what it's supposed to be? Or the bite? I mean, not the penis.
01:16:04
Speaker
I've been taking multiple ways, I'm just saying. Exist stage left on that conversation lets you two have that conversation. I'm just saying I don't mind. I don't mind getting bit in the arm, but but said you don't buy my pe that's fucked up and mean we ever know and you I think so cuz I got our soul I And then the bite, I mean, not the green not sub penis, not the penis or the comments missing. So those are the last three comments that we got from you. Uh,
01:16:44
Speaker
you bet my paint pants out around your ankles, rather than out of road. You bet my penis. She said nibbling is not the same as fighting. Don't nibble it either. I'm just saying.
01:16:59
Speaker
Well, you might, you yeah might happen and then you're like, ooh, can come up.
01:17:08
Speaker
You go ahead and try that buddy. and Let me know. Cause I'm good. It's a hard pass on me. but So you got another song for us. It's called A Penis. Yeah. Like you said, that the comments that didn't come through was too bad she didn't bite it off. It wasn't hard enough.
01:17:44
Speaker
um yeah New song. It's by some random dude in 40 year old black guy in florida called you met my penus um'm gonna kill but Actually, it's ah it's another it's another Bobby e Scott song um and It's it's one him and I were talking to cover that he did and it's what that I hear what I were talking about last night because I love the song and it's one of those songs that really kind of You know, as we all know here on the network, I haven't had the greatest luck in the world when it's come to relationships in the past. Um, and two previous relationships, uh, this saw that really, stop biting the penis, Chris. Yeah. Well, this saw that really helped kind of get me, get me through. And and it was one that I really liked listening to. And he had a cover of it on his YouTube channel already. And he was actually, um, he was actually going to,
01:18:44
Speaker
perform it live last night on the show. But I told him, you know, do whatever you want. And he was tugging at the old heartstrings last night with his song choices. He did a couple of songs about being a dad and whatnot. And but nonetheless, so he actually sat down today. I'm assuming today, maybe last night. And we recorded it, but it's his cover of Cameron Marlow's giving up on you and I love this fucking song and I think Bobby does an amazing job. Y'all go check out Bobby Smith. Uh check him out on all his socials. Bobby Smith music official. I believe it's what he is. Uh or you guys can simply go to our socials and he's tagged there and go give him a follow. Go show him some love. but He definitely deserves it and he's starting to crank out a lot of new stuff or a lot of stuff on a lot of content on social media. So,
01:19:44
Speaker
We look forward to that. but We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Here's Bobby Scott with his cover of Cameron Marlow's Giving You Up.
01:23:29
Speaker
Check it out. Bye. Yeah.
01:23:36
Speaker
I like that song. No, I love that song. That's a great song. It was one of those, uh, one of those, you know, I can't say what I want to say to you, to your face and I can listen to the music and I can be in my, in my living room or in my kitchen or whatever. And I got it out and just get my, get my, but it was one of those, uh, that helped me through a couple of breakups. There was that one in, um,
01:24:04
Speaker
wasted on you by Morgan Wallen. Oh, I wonder if I could get him to do a cover of that song. I bet I could. I really like Bobby's voice. He's got a raw. Yeah, it's gravelly. It's a. Yeah, he's got a raw. Raw just.
01:24:23
Speaker
authentic, genuine voice. and And I really like, I really like it. And he was super cool to hang out with. So shout out to Bobby Scott, you guys go give him a follow, go show him some love. um Let him know he's doing the social media internet thing, right? He's new to it. So he's still trying to figure it out a little bit. ah But welcome back to what the fuck news.
01:24:46
Speaker
What's going on? Oh, appreciate that. Thank you, lady. Uh, we, I thought we had a good time last night. Uh, he was really cool. What's up, Cameron. Welcome back to what the fuck news, everybody. He's Jeff. I'm click. If you're not already, go ahead and check out our socials. We are everywhere. You can find us on bio dot.link slash nonsensical network. That's got all of our social media is there. Don't get, we do have shows live seven days a week.
01:25:12
Speaker
on twitch youtube and facebook we always got the chatters box open you guys are always welcome to uh to uh hit us up in the chat take part in the conversation and all that jazz and uh if for some reason you can't join us live or you miss a show they're all up on uh all the podcasting platforms wherever you listen to podcasts at whether it be spot by apple or any other various platforms it's all there And you can find us at bio dot.link slash nonsensical nonsense or nonsensical network. Sorry. It's scrolling at the bottom of your screen. Give us a follow. Give us a like and give us a share. We greatly appreciate that. And check out our most store as well. You don't have to buy anything. You can just look at it, but we'd really appreciate it if you bought stuff. And work in your OnlyFans videos. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to post an OnlyFans video rocking a nonsensical network here, that would be cool.
01:26:07
Speaker
That'd be awesome. Send it to for approval. Send it to Jeff.
01:26:17
Speaker
yeah Anywho, it is what the fuck news. We're talking about news that makes us say what the fuck. Let's go ahead and jam right back into it. You know what? We're having a real problem with you Mexicans, Jeff. I didn't do it. He's busy. yeah Yeah, he's good. Yeah, he's, yeah, he's, he's yeah he's busy. Yeah. On the, on the post I put on the chat yesterday. Uh, first couple, I was talking to him today. Uh, first couple of weeks of school are always hectic. So I think he's going to come up maybe next Wednesday, he said. And then, uh, hopefully he'll be able to fill it or come up Saturday night and, uh, with, uh, with Jeff and Connor in my absence, uh, Saturday night, but yeah, please is good, man. He's just doing the school stuff.
01:27:05
Speaker
He said, yeah, good job, Cameron. Yeah.
01:27:14
Speaker
Last week, Southern California stopped some drug traffickers trying to hide their meth in, uh, uh, celery.
Drug Smuggling Stories and Humor
01:27:28
Speaker
yeah that The other day yesterday, I think it was, or the day before.
01:27:36
Speaker
Customs officers find two tons of meth worth $5 million dollars worth $5 million dollars disguised as what, Jeff? Strawberries. I mean, you're you're in the right realm. Lime. No, you know what? Limes. There's a lot of lime farmers.
01:28:04
Speaker
Think bigger. Avocado. Think bigger. Watermelon?
01:28:15
Speaker
Nice! That is, can you see that? That is a watermelon wrap. It don't even look like a watermelon. That doesn't even remotely look like a watermelon. They took a green plastic and had dark green dye. It didn't look like like U.S. Customs and Border Protection. Somebody had an art class.
01:28:36
Speaker
gra a Welcome to crafts, crafts class, whatever. U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers in Southern California were in for a rather interesting surprise after a watermelon shipment yielded an abundant harvest of something else. Five million dollars worth of methamphenamines.
01:28:59
Speaker
two tons. That's a that's a small car. 29 year old man driving a commercial tractor trailer attempted to enter the US from Mexico hauling a shipment manifested for watermelons. Border patrol officers at the Ote Mesa Ote. Hey. Oh buckwheat.
01:29:23
Speaker
It wasn't. Commercial facility in San Diego referred the driver along with his vehicle and cargo for an additional examination. Following the first checkpoint, it was during the additional examination that officer said the supposed shipment of watermelons was offloaded and upon further inspection, they uncovered 1,220 packages of meth.
01:29:49
Speaker
wrapped in paper and disguised as as water. So they basically they put it underneath the rest of the watermelons. Yeah, and so they basically went and got like. Like Christmas wrapping paper that looked like watermelon and. You guys failed craft day.
01:30:16
Speaker
Yeah, look at this, was even a load of here real quick. So here's the bends dude, this is fucking bins full of it Well from a distance Wow, yeah, but then there's the Yeah, that I mean even doing that picture which is yeah Because it's through the camera. It's not the greatest picture. Yeah, I can tell that's not a real water mill So Yeah, it was the same
01:30:48
Speaker
um
01:30:51
Speaker
I think it was at the same facility that just a couple of weeks back, they had compensated 629 pounds of meth concealed within a shipment of celery worth about $755,000.
01:31:07
Speaker
There's got to be a better way. Hey, meth dealers. Hey, cartel. Maybe not go through Otay Mesa in San Diego. Oh, I was going to say. The border's kind of long. I mean, there's there's other spots. I mean, they did it in Fast and Furious, but they drove under. I'm just saying. I mean, I don't mean to tell you guys how to do your job, but you lost well over two tons and about five and a half, almost $6 million dollars in the last two weeks. You guys suck. I'm not a meth dealer, but that seems like... I'm calling HR. Yeah. It seems like bad business at the end of the day.
01:31:47
Speaker
One is not to get caught. Yeah. Would it have made more sense to like hollow out a watermelon?
01:31:57
Speaker
Probably. You know, some gorilla glue afterwards. Yeah. they but And then you have watermelon to eat while you're packing. There is that. That is an upside.
01:32:13
Speaker
Plus does your meth become watermelon flavored? Because I might be down to try watermelon flavored. I'm in. I like watermelon flavored. Yeah, I like meth. Yeah, i put it on my steak.
01:32:24
Speaker
ah smoke Math day!
01:32:30
Speaker
Come here, hooker, bow! Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. Yeah, you know, I've seen like, i've i there's that there's a ah reality show where they, it's like at the border or something like that, where they find shit like this. I've seen a lot of ingenious ways to get money and drugs across the border. That was not one of them.
01:32:56
Speaker
like that's epic fail. Somebody had a good idea while on that. Yeah. Like you didn't really, you didn't really try. were you fine there was no Yeah. There was no, Ooh, Jeff are the Cartel Joe dealers pulling a political move? Like watch the right hand while the left hand is tickling your tank. That's what I would do. Um,
01:33:20
Speaker
Like you get one guy, look we'll give you, well, no, but yeah. No, but like you have one guy, he's like, he's got cancer. I'm like, here driving this truck, get caught while we take another truck. That's twice the size on a plus new guy gets locked up in America prison. His cancer treatments paid for by us, the taxpayers and he gets taken care of and for him. Well, congratulations, my friend. I'm just saying, I mean, I, I mean,
01:33:50
Speaker
Yeah, they got two tons of meth, but how much got through somewhere else that you guys didn't actually Oh is the car It's an open border Yeah Many people was crossing the border. You just give everybody a backpack and call it a day Yeah, I Don't know man I'm just saying it looks like it's like They didn't put a whole lot of effort into making those watermelons look like watermelons. No. I'm sure they didn't grab the best one of the bunch to take a photo of it. You know, they're like, which one? They all kind of look the same in that picture. You know, so it's not like they, they, they spent their time and airbrushed it and they were just like, yeah, this'll work. Cause this guy's going to get caught anyways, because the, the semi truck that's hauling the,
01:34:47
Speaker
Two two hundred tons of math. Yeah Because they're catching this five tons. Yeah, so just saying Potentially maybe I mean, I'm just I'm just spitballing. I'm just like I'm just trying to help you guys. I'm no expert Just trying to honey. I'm going expert. I'm just trying to yeah, I'm just trying to help you guys out there in the cartel world I mean it seems like You're, you're drug trafficking. You want to give me some money for my ideas. I'll take it. Yeah. jimmyie Do you got, do you got a new idea, man, that's taken over to like the last one, get his head chopped off and. Yeah. You know, but but that that warbo you told me and you got and i you know got's the cartel have a new marketing manager and he's like, guys, listen, it's gotta be all inclusive. We gotta have watermelon next to the celery. Yeah. Listen, this is going to be a great idea.
01:35:41
Speaker
I stumbled upon this Christmas wrapping paper that looks like watermelon on Team Moo. I can get about 100,000 rolls for about $3.50. Yeah. So we'll wrap all of our meth in watermelon wrapping paper. It'll look just like watermelons. Nobody's going to tell the difference. And then by the bing, by the boom, we got two tons of meth in San Diego. You feel me? I think it's a great Christmas present. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:36:11
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, you know, that is a really good idea. I like your idea. That's a real idea, man, Bob. we It's a good thing we hired you. You're going to get a promotion if this works, Bob. Bob's in a barrel of acid somewhere.
01:36:31
Speaker
Well, that explains what happened to Bob. I was wondering how Bob's been doing. We haven't been in his services in a while. but they didn't they It almost looks like they didn't take it through or it was a decoy. Yeah. Because why wouldn't you use a decoy? But again, maybe a smaller needs and two tons of methods. I mean, that's $5 million dollars out the window. But tell me you didn't look out the, you were you weren't looking at $5 million while $50 million was going through the other door. Yeah, there's a good chance. I mean, we're just making, we're just,
01:37:07
Speaker
We're just specially five million and I get 50 million in return. Are you going to be measures? We're just speculating here. It's not like I'm going to tell you I'm an expert. And this is my expert analysis. And they make myself look like an asshole, like, you know, other broadcasters may do. We're just speculating.
01:37:26
Speaker
calling as were yeah We're throwing shit at the wall and see if something sticks. Well, speaking of drugs, Speaking of drugs, a man in Wayne County, Indiana has been sentenced after admitting that he tried to poison his wife with MDA, MDMA, cocaine, and other drugs.
Crime and Dark Humor
01:37:52
Speaker
Why do you think he was trying to poison his wife and offer? She wouldn't let it play Call of Duty. That's a valid point. That's a good reason. But no, I'll give you one more crack at this.
01:38:06
Speaker
She's cheating on him. Well, so he could marry her daughter. Wow. Alfred Wayne County, Indiana, Connor. Makes sense. Paging Connor. This is your neck of the woods, ah buddy. Y'all got some explaining to do. ah Alfred rough wife or Ruff's wife had been hospitalized And 2021 several times and it tested positive for illegal drugs that she said she didn't take. She had symptoms of unexplained headaches, drowsiness, diarrhea, other issues, strange, strange addiction to cocaine. You know, um, and she tested positive for, uh, MDMA, cocaine, and it's not as a fiends. Huh?
01:39:01
Speaker
MDMA in that molly It's I guess that's what are Yeah, it's something to do with it's it's it's a drug like when our when when we die our body releases that right and Yeah, like an it's a whole citizen yeah, yeah why would why would you use that? Uh, man, I don't know so she felt good while doing it Amen
01:39:29
Speaker
um' i'm like I'm just here. I'm just I'm just I'm so just here to read the news. This is the same idea, man, that the cartel used to get those watermelons across. I'm just saying. yeah ah She she eventually went to the Wayne County Sheriff after she said her husband admitted to her that he was trying to kill her. ah Police are rough saying he had been spiking his wife's drinks with powders given to him by her daughter. So her daughter was in on this.
01:40:01
Speaker
The police gave police a bottle of an off white powder and Coca-Cola and a Coca-Cola can that had the residue. Ruff was interviewed. He said he confessed. He said his wife's daughter who was from a previous marriage had given him a pill bottle with the powder in it and that she told him to put it in her mother's drink.
01:40:22
Speaker
Rough stated that the substance would then make his wife go to sleep for approximately 13 hours or so. ah he started the He stated that he would do this and until he eventually killed her. He would claim her a life insurance. once Once she was out of the picture, he would claim her life insurance. are he Rough said that the daughter told him to get mom out of the picture, claim her life insurance, and eventually get married.
01:40:51
Speaker
Wow. You know, there's other ways to make money, buddy. McDonald's all the time. How much is the life insurance policy for at the end of the day? I agree. But dude, dude gave up pretty quick when they caught him. They're like, yeah, I did. He admitted it to the wife. So did he have second thoughts or I mean, feel guilty or something? He doesn't say, but I mean, yeah, I mean, hey like yeah.
01:41:21
Speaker
um I'm going for the younger model. Yeah. I was going to say he, he, he was trying to trade up. I get it, but how bad is it? He's like, he's, he's like, look, wifey, you got a lot of miles on you. Got a lot of wear and tear. The new model just came out. Yeah. New model.
01:41:42
Speaker
bo She's into me. and Tighter ah start my motorcycle, you know yeah you la she does things don't do um serious but stuff yeah yeah That's kind of a thing like it is is I'm assuming former wife because I'm assuming she's gonna divorce him but She just proved all of a sudden like she used to be into it now. She's like, yeah, I'm good. I I mean, yeah, I think it's a safe bet that she's definitely going to divorce him. This is giving the old Matthew, uh, uh, little, little line of anybody know agree to do the worst for him.
01:42:29
Speaker
and Speaking of speaking of, wow, what a cunt of a daughter too. Jesus. Mm-hmm.
01:42:41
Speaker
ah Yeah, I mean Yeah, i mean but i'm my parents before but i never like i'm good killed them yeah no um When I first started reading that story I was like, oh god, it's gonna say like she's 12 or some weird shit like that this guy's like some weird like Peter i um like Yeah, you know and then then I start reading it is like, oh damn the daughter was it was her idea How's the daughter? It doesn't say oh I'm sure she was arrested too. I'm sure she was. Again, it doesn't say in the article, this happened in 2021 and he was just sentenced the other day. So, um, yeah, that's how, that's how him and the daughter met. They were locked up together in pandemic. I'm just saying a lot of weird shit happened. It's like being in space for eight months. When are they fucking, what happens on lockdown stays in lockdown.
01:43:39
Speaker
What happens in the space stays in space. Yeah.
Social Media and Astronauts: A Hypothetical Discussion
01:43:43
Speaker
In space. They can't hear you scream. i just saying Could you, could you imagine, but they're sitting there, you know, the, the two astronauts are sitting there after they get done and they're like, Hey, you know, we both had needs. What happens? It stays here. You know, we'll yeah, we'll have fun while we're here, but you know, once we get back down to earth and there's gravity, you know, we're done. Yeah.
01:44:07
Speaker
and we And we won't tell anybody that all of a sudden, uh, Boeing starliner one nine eight. Uh, this is Houston. in her every word we We have video evidence. Uh, yeah. Um, we have started an early fans for you guys. So, uh, because that's because they're lost in space, technically the whole thing's broadcasted on social media all the time. Yeah. They're like, uh,
01:44:36
Speaker
Unfortunately, we don't have the funds to pay you on to save you guys. So we're starting in astronaut only fans and all proceeds will go to the rescue of bringing you guys home. He ain't that bad looking boys. like i got this yeah Houston, we got a problem. but She said she's got it again.
01:45:04
Speaker
Christian's like, bitch, you want to come home? You better take some aspirin.
01:45:11
Speaker
Drink some water as we are. Yeah. Uh, Eddie, speaking of dying moms.
Legal Oddities and Humor
01:45:21
Speaker
Out in, uh, out in old Texas. You guys are really doing things right out in Texas, Brian. A, uh, an apartment complex builds a family of a woman.
01:45:33
Speaker
who died, $15,000 for breaking her lease. You petty motherfucker. You just petty. Texas apartment complex sent a, yeah, right? A Texas apartment complex sent a bill to the family of a former tenant charging her for breaking her lease after she died.
01:45:59
Speaker
The women's children or the woman's children received a bill from the complex for fifteen thousand six hundred and seventy six dollars and a collections notice. Despite a Texas law that allows family members to cancel a lease when a loved one passes away. I think that's a given if I'm in a lease and I die. I think that's one of that makes the least and all void I'm pretty sure.
01:46:26
Speaker
yeah um i like you to be out the middle of fucking night ah big die you evil co on Yeah. Um, yeah um the fact that they're attacking coming after the next of kin, who quite honestly, we loved our mom and we're still grieving. And all they care about is the money said David Naderman, the woman's son, uh, Sandra 91 died in late June and was buried at Fort Sam Houston, uh, national cemetery next to her husband.
01:46:56
Speaker
She had lived at the lodge at Shavano Park Apartments for more than 10 years. Wow. How long was her lease? Well, she probably resigned every year. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. You resigned your license height's a twenty year lease. She lived there for 10 years and you're going to try to do her family dirty like this. i logic Like that's cold blooded. Yeah. i Um, yeah. yeah At the time of her death, Sandra had almost a year left on her two-year lease. So there you go, she had a two-year lease. We went to the apartment complex, spoke to the leasing manager, and he told us that he would use the security deposit towards the cleaning and turning over the apartment, and that they would terminate the lease, her son said. But later the family received a bill for $14,368, an accelerated rent,
01:47:51
Speaker
and a $1,100 lease break fee. The reason for the move out was listed as deceased. you but you but It's going to get thrown out in court. They want the rest of about a years long worth of rent from a dead person, her son said. I think it's pretty unusual. I've never heard of anybody trying to charge in a state or somebody who is deceased for rent before, said Bill Clanton, an attorney.
01:48:22
Speaker
who specializes in consumer ah debt or consumer and debt collection laws. That's fine. Clinton went on to say you you can't get blood from a turnip and you certainly can't get rent from ah a rent from a dead person. it That dude sounds like my kind of goo. But that's just that's fucked up. I mean, I give them props for trying, but I would at first I'm like, this is just some sick fucked up joke.
01:48:53
Speaker
And then when I realized it was true, I burned down the building. What are you doing? No. I don't even give them props for trying. I think it's a scumbag thing to do. I think it's a dickbag thing to do. And I hope that this apartment complex, people start leaving and moving out and, you know, hopefully the family sues the fuck out of them. My family might end up in that apartment complex by the end of this. and That's what I would sue for.
01:49:21
Speaker
ye ownership of property. well ye um want I everything. You can pay me the 15 million. Well, give me the building. And you know what? I'll even be nice. I'll keep you employed at half the rate you were getting before. Exactly. ah Until you get to $15,000 that you now owe me. Yeah. Because as your new boss, I'm putting that stipulation in your contract. Yep. Have a good day.
01:49:51
Speaker
Yeah, you're a bunch of fucking scumbags. Chip, chip, cheerio, dickhead. Oh, let's see here. That's such a thing. Let's get on to the penis story coming up on two hours.
Awkward and Humorous Sexual Stories
01:50:05
Speaker
I'm going to save, I'm going to save that. We're going to go ahead and jump right back into our 17 penis horror stories. Stories guaranteed to make you laugh from Buzzfeed.
01:50:21
Speaker
Oh, where are we at on this list? I don't remember.
01:50:28
Speaker
Definitely did that. Definitely did the tampon. Definitely did the dismembered. Definitely did the impromptu health lessons. Wow, that's such a dick move. Holy shit. Definitely did the come out of her nose. Yeah. Did the fresh never frozen? Oh my God, I've never seen a paint penis before and I screamed. Did the punk rock rainbow penis. We did the SpongeBob. Finally, grasp it.
01:51:04
Speaker
Furbly grasp it in your hand. and Damn, that's that's so fucked up.
01:51:17
Speaker
Alright, here we go. yeah Got, got, got a short, short, short, short one. You know what? Kudos to, kudos to this guy. Uh, not, not the guy writing. I'm assuming it's a lady writing in, but, uh, this is the American Idol edition. Dean Northern 11 says, I don't know why, but I sang into on at a penis.
01:51:44
Speaker
Like it was a microphone one time.
01:51:51
Speaker
Let's be honest, guys, if you could, you would. yeah yeah i was all my dick like a mic i would do sing and Yeah. Yeah. Kudos to the guy whose dick got sang into, on, or at, because, uh, probably not a dainty dick, you know? Right?
01:52:11
Speaker
sobye say bye say bye she's about to keep going is this what you're into lady you can talk about weird first dates i mean hey whatever you want me to dance like you know what do you want me to do you my hips don't lie like Shakira said but my penis does ah I don't know I would do if somebody, if some chick did that to me. I don't know. What are you doing in that situation? like Yeah, like. You don't like
01:53:05
Speaker
that oh You don't like free bird? Sing ice ice baby. and a do Sweet Caroline.
01:53:16
Speaker
yeah
01:53:23
Speaker
whatever Don't signal carry wow god yeah dot do sing All the small.
01:53:38
Speaker
It wasn't that song is little things. It's. Well, Brad Paisley. Well, Brad Paisley did a song called like it's. Small little little little moments or moment, I don't know, something like it. It's a Little Things by Bush. Oh, little.
01:54:03
Speaker
things carol shoot but like that mean i that ah suck not That 90s country song that's going around all viral on tik-tok she like ground issues like if i had two dust and row and it would it change um what the hell Are you breaking up with my penis You sing the old Rodney Gary jig song but I got it Yes you where yeah yes yeah exactly Alan
01:54:48
Speaker
It's all right to be itty, baby. A little bit of chat. Bitch, get out. I'll take care of this myself. Get out. Ludic is drinking glacial water. What the heck are you talking about, Brian?
01:55:08
Speaker
any way
01:55:14
Speaker
Like, I hate you. Get out of my house.
01:55:20
Speaker
What song did she sing? I'm curious. I would love to know what what song it was. We can only speculate at this moment. I didn't get a link. What are you talking about? I was going to say I didn't get a link either. I did see the ah Lucas drinking racial water, though.
01:55:44
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I, I, I haven't seen it. I don't know. Um, yeah, no, what the hell song did she say? Now I want to know i like, require my I don't care what she's saying. Like I don't care. Uh, about the rest of the story. I just want to, uh,
01:56:03
Speaker
why are you going to lose why gotta lose your mind? I guarantee it's still there.
01:56:15
Speaker
You're not helping your cousin, Jeff. It's a good thing she can't hear you. That's why I said I'm looking. I'm looking to see because I she's a member. He said it's probably in the last place you put it. It's just a fuck off joke. It's called logic. You're laying on clean clothes. Um. Claire, Claire, Claire, read writes. The no mouth.
01:56:44
Speaker
The numb mouth. I tried to put a condom on a dick with my mouth, but the condom was one of those tingly sensation condoms, which meant it was covered in chemical glue or chemical lube. The second I tasted it, I ran to wash my mouth out. And my boyfriend at the time thought I was puking, which actually made him start to puke.
01:57:10
Speaker
Oh, wow. You rode the whole fucking night in one move, baby. I mean, like, I get it. Trying to be sexy and thinking like this is going to be a sexy move or whatever. But like at least read the label. Yeah. Know your surroundings. You know, go and get. Did you have it at all before you left?
01:57:38
Speaker
since i got um okay well sad on the bed um ah I mean they make they make flavored condoms Yeah, and i get well they they those those condoms that numbing they they have that numbing cream on there So guys can blast longer and all that stuff and I get that it makes sense But once again, it says on the label contains numbing cream Also says not for or or not put mouth or yeah ah You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say Claire. That's on you. Yeah, that's on Claire. I'm sorry. Mm hmm. Holly CC writes in I was a little sheltered. I should. So I took the term blowjob literally. This bitch went.
01:58:35
Speaker
He's like, yeah, baby. That's, that's yeah like, it's not a candle.
01:58:45
Speaker
She said it's not a candle. Holly said, so I took the term or blow job, literally. Like that's what you do to the penis. You blow it like it's a balloon. He was not amused.
01:59:01
Speaker
Good timing. I'm just eating dinner. I'm just finished eating dinner. What the fuck? Are you retarded, bitch? What are you doing? like Speaking of that, I actually. So, so. So, was somebody online one day, they said, you know how an ugly cut penis has the, the, the turtle shell, you know, kind of thing. She, she asked, can you blow that up? Like if you blow on it. And I'm like,
01:59:33
Speaker
don't try to find out ever because if it goes horribly wrong you'll be the you'll be known as the chick that blew up the dude's penis i'm gonna try it i mean so like she'll take hummer quite literally as well and just put the dude's dick in her mouth and start humming i'm not mad at that get out just get out again I'll take care of business myself. um Why are you blowing on my dick? Is it hot? Does taste like curry?
02:00:11
Speaker
but Like, does she not have any friends? Because you know chicks talk about shit like that. We're like, how's it going? Like, do you actually blow on it? I mean, it's one of those dumb questions. Like, if I didn't know what I would you ask? Do you actually blow?
02:00:29
Speaker
You know, Jesus, it's 2024 bitch. You don't know who you're supposed to suck. It's not blow. but
02:00:45
Speaker
Wow. You said she was sheltered like Brandon Frazier in, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that one movie, you don't really His family had the bomb shelter. No, not in scene. Oh, oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, blast from the past or something. Yeah. Yeah. Like his family had the bomb shelter in the fifties and then he comes out 30 years later as a grown man. Yeah.
02:01:14
Speaker
yeah yeah I love that. You know what? We might as well just go ahead and knock out this last one.
02:01:25
Speaker
ah dan The coup de gras the grand finale if you will And the bloody surprise oh shit Wallace head So weird name for a girl, but whatever She writes in I was on my period but my boyfriend and I decided to to have sex anyways I Everything was going great until we both started to feel pain. He pulled his dick out and the condom was gone.
02:02:06
Speaker
This is a little bit of a lengthy story. Bear with me. He started digging around in my bloody vagina for it.
02:02:17
Speaker
man Going on a spoken exploration. Like one of the seven dwarves was sold while you worked.
02:02:30
Speaker
do do do do it do Not back there. Anyways, he was digging around in her in and in ah inner bloody vagina for it while complaining about his tip hurting. We got the condom out.
02:02:47
Speaker
And saw his penis was covered in blood. Obviously. I mean, you're having sex on period. Yeah, it happens. Uh, he thought something was stuck in his pee hole. Oh, shit. So he went to the bathroom. So, so he went to the bathroom and tried to pee it out for about 30 minutes. No, thank God. I'm scared.
02:03:17
Speaker
Finally, a clot of my blood came out of his pee hole. Oh Jesus Christ. but
02:03:29
Speaker
yeah yeah we we have we have We have bloody vagina cave exploring. thats That was a full night for those two, let me tell you. Blood clot inside pee hole.
02:03:44
Speaker
I'm telling her right now marry that dude because most guys When you're on your period it's like you know what why don't you go live in the shed for the week hols confront my Well right after that right after this and right after this experience the The the the cave dwelling condoms search and rescue the the blood clot in the pea hole Right after that, he tried to have sex with me again. So I would say that and that man has none getting no fucks to give. Yeah, he don't give a fuck. I'm like, yo. like It's good. I know it happens now. Let's do it. Yeah. I'm duct taping this condom on this. check I to say I've had it happen. I've had the condom come off and had to go cave exploring to get it out, but not on the period.
02:04:45
Speaker
I've never had to go cave exploring, but you know, I'm too small to work on them anyways. So that's my season. This chicken, I had sex once and then we were like, let's go again. So, you know, with the same condom. No, it was a different condom, but it's just just like, Hey, maybe we'll recycle this one. I'll go rinse it out real quick. But but when I put it on, I didn't put it on all the way. Like.
02:05:13
Speaker
then roll it out all the way. So it came off. And she's, and you know, and I was like, Hey, that's weird. I could've swore I put a condom on. She's like, you didn't do it, huh? I said, no, I did. She's like, hmm. I said, hold on, let me see if it's in there. and it But it only took a couple seconds to get it out. It's not like I was in there for an hour going, nope, it's not behind your kidney. You know, you know, yeah it was just like, wow.
02:05:40
Speaker
yeah
02:05:43
Speaker
The blood caught thing, that scares the shit out of me, dude. Yeah, no, that just does not sound... How does that work? That just doesn't sound exciting. My blood doesn't fly that fast. She does not clean out? Apparently, hers does. Or maybe, yeah, maybe she doesn't clean out. She's the reverse hemophiliac, comes out solid.
02:06:11
Speaker
Emophiliacs don't their blood doesn't yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah That's what I'm saying. But how would your lead so it it like let's it yeah like yeah just who was like i was would say like what would you Like a'll Minecraft when you kill one of the creepers and they just exploded into like block you just cut your arm and you got blocks that fall out of your arm like blocks of
02:06:33
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. That dude has zero creep factor where he's like, you're on your fury. Yeah. You definitely got a husband that guy up because he's got no fucks to give. Like, and I mean, you got some, you got bomb ass pussy or something. I don't know. Cause my man was like, I just spent the last 45 minutes and they're trying to It's just goddamn piece of clotted blood out of my pecker hole. You ready to go for round two? that Oh, God. It would be worse. You get clotted blood in your pea hole or you do a little backdoor our cave exploring and you get a piece of corn stuck in your pea hole. That's true. I mean, the other fear the other fear with that chick is if he came out with more than one condom.
02:07:28
Speaker
a because we used one. Why is there three in here? What the **** or or or he wasn't telling her something like he's been he's been slipping bottoms off and shoving her up, shoving him up in here all week and he's like he'll never know if I hide it. Yeah. Yeah, there's there's an old joke. It's like what's worse than losing your class ring inside your girlfriend finding somebody else's. yeah
02:07:59
Speaker
say I've dated women like that in the past. Yeah, I know. Still haven't got my class ring back. Oh, I have it. I kept it. Souvenir. I wear it on a chain.
02:08:21
Speaker
I never washed it either. and I smell it occasionally. just hey four
02:08:30
Speaker
but It smells like whore. Whore. um it It reminds me not to deal with a whore. It's like Nickelback. They have that picture to remind them. i Like, look at this bloody ring. Every time I do it makes me laugh. Whore.
02:08:57
Speaker
I should call her. and offer who is that hunting I don't know the same guy that calls me every couple months and screams. where he He blocked his number and everything. I don't know. Screams horror and then hangs up on me. it's Jesus. Well, you can't do it tomorrow. We just put it out there for the world to hear.
02:09:22
Speaker
Yeah, well. What are you going to do? I do a couple of months out of the road. Ring, ring. Hello? Hello? Is this you, Glick? No, it's Jim.
02:09:37
Speaker
I want my country back. Hello? Is this you, Glick? I No, I'm not angry.
02:09:55
Speaker
Yeah. that's blurries or or two more doing some crocaine no just memories smell my Whore. no and all yeah you ever a smelling rearview and the new car to get rid of that new cars smell you're a smo of Whore.
02:10:30
Speaker
i was like whole take away wow um that was your time oh my child doing fine my high school years that was different What is that cologne you're wearing, Glick? It's, uh, it's very odd. Why nonsensible nonsense, a little nonsense. Or, by my ex-girlfriends. It smells like regret. Regret and disappointment.
02:11:00
Speaker
And douche.
02:11:07
Speaker
d i like deep
02:11:14
Speaker
Alright, let's wrap up. Lord have mercy. You know, folks, that's a show. Let's play some music and get, let's play some music and close out and get the flock out of here. Yeah, I gotta. Stand by Jeff. I'm gonna make a phone call in here yeah Oh, she got a new ringtone.
02:11:38
Speaker
put or like oh
02:11:46
Speaker
or clip I'm just saying that dude needs to, that chick needs to wife that husband, that dude up like now, because he, right now if she wants it, he's like, I'm ready. Yeah. Right to help me out.
02:12:05
Speaker
Homeboys got no fucks to give. You know what? Let's do a little Matt James with his newest song. It's called Whore. Whore. Whore. It's a story about a ring.
02:12:21
Speaker
How did you know, Matt? Matt's like, I've seen some things. could
02:12:34
Speaker
theres Now let's do a little, uh, let's do a little Matt James with his, uh, his newest, uh, solo song with bad guy. Then we'll come back and close this show out.
02:16:14
Speaker
another killer song by Matt James, lead singer of Blacktop Mojo. yeah Not you, Matt James. You're not a whore. Are you?
02:16:27
Speaker
We'll ask you when I have in my clicks, awesome music. Yeah. The people want to know, are you a whore? Now, Matt James is a Blacktop Mojo. Go check them out. Go show the guys some love. They are.
02:16:46
Speaker
They're a busy group. Oh, excuse me. Let me die here for a second. Yeah. Wow. Um, they're, they're, they're a kick-ass group of guys. They're a busy group of guys and they put out some great music. Go check them out. Blacktop Mojo on all social media or Matt James and all social media and, uh, let them know we, uh, we sent you, let them know the network sent you or click whatever. It don't matter. They know us.
02:17:14
Speaker
ah so Yes, Brian, uh, shooting, we're going to try to, I know Thursday is like the first official game, but my schedule is slam packed. Um,
02:17:30
Speaker
forever. So we were actually going to draft next Wednesday night live on the show. So if you want to be able, if you want to come up, you can, um, I'm looking to get.
02:17:42
Speaker
I think I got two more guys, uh, shout out to a DJ bill and Steven over to another shop podcast. They're live right now. Actually, when we get done here, if you guys want to jump over and check them out, they're live on, um, on YouTube and Facebook at another shot podcast. Um, but, uh, I hit them up on break and said, Hey, you, you guys getting in and on the league. So I think we need one more team. But Connor said he would, we need one more team to get a full league. I was hoping to get 10, but, um,
02:18:12
Speaker
But Connor said he would fill in if need be. But Cam also said he wanted to invite somebody. yeah So I'll send them over the link here when we get done. And then I want to shoot for Wednesday night. We'll do the draft live on the show. You know, we'll be able to draft and still do the show. but or and And bullshit and everything. Like I'm not, I don't want to do like a draft show, but maybe we could do a draft show. I bet we could, yeah yeah we could I bet we could collab with ah Bill and Steve because they normally do that show Wednesday night.
02:18:42
Speaker
So maybe I can get Derek to come up. Maybe yeah, maybe we can do a draft show. You're going to have to get used to talking football, but maybe we can do an actual football draft show now. Well, just don't zone out on your draft so you don't end up with 19 wide receivers again this year. So be Brian. I mean mean, you did be right. Yeah, maybe we get Brian to come up. I'll see if Derek wants to come up. um I'll see if i Bill and.
02:19:09
Speaker
And Steve want to come up, they want to do another shot versus like, and I'm like, you do know, I have a whole network behind me. Like, yeah, I was, you know, the shot versus non-federal network. That would be better.
02:19:20
Speaker
yeah really i don't know like Nerds. I'm not worried about them. They're they're Steelers. One's a Steelers fan and one's an Eagles fan and they're both homers. So they're going to pick all Steelers and Eagles players. So, so I'm not worried.
02:19:35
Speaker
bye week, we'll come around and they'll be like, we don't have anybody to start. And I'm like, well, that's because you picked all shitty team. Enjoy the Enjoy the sale from Jeff of all people. but
02:19:52
Speaker
I'll help you guys. but yeah but Yeah. So we're going to, we're going to, I'm going to get the league filled up this weekend. Um, like I said, we need three more teams to have at least, uh, at least eight And, uh, I was hoping for 10, but if we do eight, we'll do eight and it'll be a superstar league. I mean, we'll be racking up points all season.
02:20:12
Speaker
ye
02:20:15
Speaker
Oh, lolly gag. All I want is my show. It's my network. I do whatever I want. I'm a superstar up in this business. Oh, Brian, Brian, the, way what about the, the Miriam, oh Miriam Webster's dictionary word of the day for today is lolly gag.
02:20:33
Speaker
Oh, we have, uh, we, we have, we do have the eight teams because I think Florida Brian said he was in as well. Oh, I just got to say, I just got to send the links out. So yeah, we got, we got an 18 roster and let's two more people pop in, which guys you got until Wednesday to let me know, uh, Tuesday at the latest and I'll wait and lock the draft. Uh, I'll I'm locking the draft in at the latest Tuesday morning. Cause you got to lock the draft in 24 hours prior.
02:21:02
Speaker
So, you know, I would love to have it at least 10 teams. Let us know. Hit us up on the social media. Um, but Brian messaged me earlier and I think he said he was in Florida, Brian. We could have Florida, Brian versus Texas, Brian, who will do better. Jesus Christ, Brian. What the fuck? You send me the weirdest tip. Oh my God. Please tell me you click too. What's a lolly egg?
02:21:28
Speaker
yeah this a
02:21:33
Speaker
Well, anyways, ladies and gentlemen, much like voice demand. We've come to the end of the road and Jeff's on his knees. He's down on bended knee.
02:21:44
Speaker
yes i
02:21:48
Speaker
Get out. yeah but
02:21:57
Speaker
and Which one was it, Brian? Was it the squirrel or the salt gun, Jeff? The salt gun. Yeah, I'm going to bring that up ah next Wednesday. I saved it into mine. But I know, we we are done. And with that being said, let me do my wrap up real quick here. I'll try not to do 20 minutes again. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. As always, greatly appreciated.
02:22:26
Speaker
Hopefully you enjoyed the show shout out to the chatters box. You guys are fucking awesome as always Appreciate you guys being here the replay viewers and the listeners on on the podcast and platforms. You guys are awesome. Don't be strangers ah We really do enjoy what we do here and hopefully you guys do as well and we wouldn't be doing it Well, actually that's a lot we would sit here and talk to ourselves, you know to be honest with you Just do the same thing over the phone Yeah But if you're not already, go ahead and check us out on all the socials. We are on Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. We do shows live Monday through Sunday on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Chatterbox is always open. Get in there and interact with us. Add your two cents, if you will. I actually have a question for you. Tomorrow, you are doing a show, right? Because you guys can catch the corner yesterday. Yeah, and I was going to get to that.
02:23:20
Speaker
Don't worry. We'll get to that. Don't worry. Don't worry. Um, we do do shows, um, Monday through Sunday here on the network, uh, live. And you can also listen anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts that we are on all the major platforms, as well as the not so major platforms. You guys can find us everywhere and give us a listen, or you can go to bio dot.link slash non-sensical network. All of our socials links are there as well as a link to our merch store. Yes. We have a merch store now.
02:23:50
Speaker
You guys can check that out. And if you feel inclined to buy something, we would greatly appreciate that. And if you do buy something, send us a picture. And if it's cool with you, we'll post it on social media and shout you out, you know, for rocking our gear and buying our gear. Buy a t-shirt, Winnie the Pooh it, and send it to Glick. So I can send it to Jeff. Yeah, because I want those pictures.
02:24:13
Speaker
just send it to our email, nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail dot.com. And then either, then it'll be like, well, who's going to open it first? It's going to be Jeff Blazer, myself. Um, but no, yeah, we, you know, if you don't care, we'll post it up on social and we'll shout you guys out for rocking our gear.
02:24:31
Speaker
um As I said, there are shows Monday through Sunday. Mondays are men care for men. It's men's mental health show starts at seven o'clock. It's so hosted by me and Connor, uh, Tuesday nights is Glick's house of music kicking off at eight o'clock. It's me hanging out with local and upcoming artists, giving them the spotlight and introducing you guys to them and, uh, hanging out and having a good time, just kind of shooting the shit and getting to know them a little bit better as well as playing their music.
02:24:58
Speaker
Uh, Wednesdays is what the fuck news. This show right here hosted by Jeff and myself. We usually get started around seven o'clock talking about the news, baby. If it's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck, we're going to talk about it. Hi buddy. Uh, Thursday nights is typically Cassius corner. You want to tell them about it? It's Westland talk. And when we get back on, we're going to do the fashion read.
02:25:27
Speaker
ba in berlin re yeah Yeah, so not a not a show this Thursday because we did the show last night um But we will be back in two weeks ah with our Bash in Berlin recap because we did our pics last night Brian came on Appreciate you coming on last night and dropping some pics with us Cash really enjoyed having you on he thought that was really cool to have his first guest on this show Friday nights is our man blaze doing whose argument is anyways doing debates and topical conversations And having fun at the same time Saturday nights is the unhinged and apologetic nonsensical nonsense the foundation show the net of the network if you will
02:26:20
Speaker
We do a little thing on Saturday nights. We call it the open door challenge. We dropped the link in the chat and challenge. You guys hit that link and come up and hang out with us for as long as you'd like. All we ask is turn your camera on and put your pecker away. Cause nobody wants to see it. Maybe that's what the emails are. but the image You can do that on you and Jeff can do that on your own time. Not my time. And then we wrap the week up with Jeff's garage. If it's in a garage and it's got a motor, Jeff and Benji are going to talk about it.
02:26:50
Speaker
That's our little car show that's going on. And, uh, you know, the guys are having fun with it. Special guest this Sunday, if he can still be available. Nice. Nice. Little special guest action. Um,
02:27:05
Speaker
so to say something else, I totally lost my train of thought anyways, also this weekend, Saturday, August 31st.
02:27:18
Speaker
Newton Falls, Ohio, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.
02:27:25
Speaker
At the Five Forest Distillery in Newton Falls, Ohio, kick on off at 6 p.m. I know that says 7 p.m., but 6 p.m., we're doing a benefit for the disabled veterans. ah Southern Outlaws Band are headlining We got music from Joshua Lee Nelson and yours truly. Your boy right here will be MC in the event. Uh, which the picture cut off. but Oh no, it's not cut off. It's the goddamn ticker at the bottom. There you go. Yeah. Guest MC Glick too. Cause Oh my God, these are lyrics. I'm bringing these up all next week. Uh, guest MC Glick from Glick's house of music and the nonsensical network. So I'll be MC in the event.
02:28:12
Speaker
We got music from Josh Lee Nelson and the Southern Outlaws band. There's going to be food. There's going to be alcohol. It's going to be a great time with a bunch of awesome people and for a really great charity that goes to our veterans. All money raised will be going 100%. We'll be going to the dis ah disabled veterans chapter 11 up there in the Newton Falls area. So definitely honored and and very grateful to be a part of this.
02:28:41
Speaker
And to get to go hang out with the Southern outlaws band and and meet the guys in person and get to hang out with Josh. I think we're going to have a really good time. And as I said earlier, um, I have a feeling that, uh, Dave and I are going to get into some trouble or shenanigans, Tom foolery, if you will.
02:29:00
Speaker
or yeah And then next Saturday, we'll talk more about it next week. There's, uh, here in Newark, Ohio at Buckeye ax throwing is a one year anniversary bash.
02:29:12
Speaker
The show will be there. I'll be there live in person But the rest of the show will be there virtually and we'll be doing the show live from the Buckeye axe throwing There's gonna be all kinds of stuff going on and Monday Night this coming Monday Nikki will be joining men caring for men for a little bit to talk about the event.
02:29:33
Speaker
She's organizing it and kind of and she's running it. Yeah, it's it's kind of like her baby. So she knows all the ins and outs and everything that's going on and and all that. So she'll be joining us to talk about that. So couple of events for anybody in the Ohio area or within driving distance that. You guys want to make a road trip this weekend and next week and you can come hang out with me live and some really cool other people and and. All that good jazz, but with that being said.
02:30:02
Speaker
I do have a a um advisory. If you do show up at the axe throwing, or you do show up at b the concert, don't give the Glick beer. It's like, agree don't feed the Sasquatch i like because he will become blurgent and scream whore to the crowd.
02:30:31
Speaker
yeah
02:30:33
Speaker
That's how that's that's that's how that's all I've ever seen in the whole of night I'm just gonna go to go yeah every crimeie come out who no turn out ben or there bunchs of texts raise their hand yes but but butgie their numbers you never know but you never know Hey you miss 100% of the shots you don't take What's going on, Benji? You see any ladies out there that are tickling your fancy there, Nikki? Let me know. No, but not only that, ah Saturday, I'm not raffled, too. or They're going to give them stuff away. Come out. Everybody go out and do... Five fours distillery. Five fours distillery. And get a raffle ticket at least. Yeah, they are giving away a ah bottle of Maker's Mark.
02:31:29
Speaker
That is the Southern Outlaws Band bottle. has been ah And and and all all four members of the band are signing it, so they'll be raffling that off. Nikki's trying to figure out a way to rig it, so she wins. And I'm like, um'm I'm sure I could just ask Arliss if we could get a bottle and ask the guys to sign it, you know? Like, I'm sure they got more than one.
02:31:56
Speaker
I'm sure it's not that hard. I mean, I'm like, I'm sure that, you know, if I asked nicely, they might sell me one, you know what I mean? A nonsensical network follow.
02:32:15
Speaker
Yeah, that would be cool. That'd be cool. maybe when i be a man Just not for the cartel. but Listen, what if we had watermelons that weren't really watermelons and we put our logo on it? yeah It's inside the watermelons. I don't know.
02:32:36
Speaker
probably weird up ah be yeah Beer and bourbon. It's more punching More punching powder. Anyways, but ladies and gentlemen, that's that's that's the news. That's the news as we see it.
02:32:55
Speaker
And thanks everybody for listening. Thanks everybody for watching. Bye. Good night, Wisconsin. Why the fuck would we be in Wisconsin? I don't know. Ever. I don't know. Good night, Ottawa, Canada.
02:33:15
Speaker
Once again, why are we in Wisconsin? I don't know. Good night, Minnesota. Still Canada. but yeah butm and fuck out canada um push in a certain want to be podcast host in front of a bust. ah but but our books we should That's why we should not be in South Canada because