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33. OVERTHINKING RUINED MY LIFE BECAUSE I LET IT! HERE IS HOW I BROKE FREE OF IT
93 Plays2 years ago
We often let our overthinking control us. It will talk us out of doing things we actually want to do. It will create problems in our life that don't need to be there. It will ruin relationships. It RUIN your life if you let it.....Trust me I have been down this road and I now can see how it was ruining my own personal life. Let me know if you can relate to this episode!!
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Transcript
Introduction and Personal Impact of Overthinking
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the podcast. It is Monday, December 11th and we're almost getting to the end of the year. It is wild how fast that this year has gone by. Like it literally seems like the other day was
00:00:15
Speaker
Christmas last Christmas not this Christmas so well but anyways most importantly what are we going to talk about today so I really want to discuss overthinking because I'm so passionate about overthinking because I used to overthink
00:00:33
Speaker
everything in my life and it really honestly destroyed a lot of my life and at the time I didn't even realize it because I was so used to overthinking and I was okay with it. But now that I look back on my previous life
00:00:55
Speaker
I realized that that person was not well, not happy. And he had a lot of fucking work to do on himself. So I'm going to be talking about how overthinking can control your life and basically how controlled mine.
00:01:13
Speaker
and how I broke free of it. But before we jump into that, I just want to say thanks for showing up again. Really, really appreciate it. And if you like this podcast, please give me a subscribe, give me a follow. So when I do upload these weekly, you'll get a notification to when I get or when I post a new episode. And if you really like this episode,
00:01:39
Speaker
Let me know what you think this little section where you can actually Type in what you thought about the episode and we can communicate through Spotify. I think it's pretty cool You can send this to your friend if you relate to this and you think someone else should probably listen to it Maybe you know somebody that over thinks a lot and they it ruins their life Then you could send this episode to them
00:02:03
Speaker
Share it on Instagram tag me would love to connect with you and hear your thoughts about what you think of this episode.
Common Overthinking Scenarios
00:02:12
Speaker
So let's just jump right into it.
00:02:19
Speaker
overthinking, okay? It is a thing that a lot of us in this world do. We overthink everything too much to the point where it's pointless. Why are we overthinking everything? You might get invited to a party. And I think I've said this before on previous podcasts, because this is how I used to be.
00:02:46
Speaker
What am I gonna wear? Man, should I leave now? No, I'll have a couple more drinks. Who's gonna be there? Like, what time should I go? Man, I don't know. And I would just sit there and just overthink and ask myself questions and talk to myself. And it would just be this big process of overthinking in my head. And I would almost talk myself out of actually going, right?
00:03:16
Speaker
And we overthink a lot of things. Whether that's just overthinking, is my partner cheating on me? Do they love me enough? Do they love me as much as I love them? Is this relationship going to last? Instead of just letting things be, we just overthink all these things all the time. Why are we overthinking?
00:03:44
Speaker
Why are we overthinking?
Causes of Overthinking
00:03:46
Speaker
Now, the reasons why I believe that I was overthinking is, well, one, I was very insecure. Two, I had a lack of confidence. Three, I wasn't really happy with my life. And four, I had no purpose, no drive, no passion.
00:04:10
Speaker
Now, some of you might listen to this and say, really? This is how you used to be in your life? 100%. Now, did I hide those things? Oh yeah, big time. I'm not even scared. You guys might have met me before and like, oh, he seems really confident, really happy.
00:04:33
Speaker
underneath i had a lot of issues that nobody knew about right and i was just hiding those things right i was perfect you know but i wasn't definitely wasn't i can honestly say now that like
00:04:50
Speaker
I'm not insecure. I don't lack confidence. I'm very happy in my life and I have a purpose.
Personal Transformation and Gaining Confidence
00:04:59
Speaker
And I do believe that because I broke free of all of that bullshit,
00:05:05
Speaker
I don't overthink anything anymore. I just live my life. I just say yes. Let's do it. Yes or no. I don't overthink all of these things in my head all of the time. Sometimes yes, obviously. I'm not perfect. I am human and sometimes we do overthink.
00:05:28
Speaker
Before in my previous life, it used to be a problem. Now, I was very insecure. For example, if I was in a relationship, like every other male was a threat because I was very insecure with myself.
00:05:44
Speaker
And I would think that that person was going to leave me for another guy or if we were in a social gathering and this other handsome guy came up and talked to us, I would feel threatened. Oh, do she like him more? Oh, do you think that she would want him more? You know what I mean? I would just be super insecure.
00:06:08
Speaker
about myself which led me to be jealous and then which would lead me to overthink all these things in my head and then play all these scenarios out in my head. Oh, like what if she likes him more? Oh, is she gonna talk to him? You know what I mean? I'll just run all of these scenarios in my head and I'll just overthink to the point where it would just cause problems for me
00:06:36
Speaker
and the relationship was very, very insecure, Adam. And that's so wild because I'm not insecure anymore. I just, you know, I just realized that being insecure comes from the lack of confidence in yourself. Because when you have that lack of confidence in yourself,
00:07:00
Speaker
You're just so insecure about all these things that you shouldn't be, right? So having that lack of confidence in me, not thinking that, you know, I don't even know where that lack of confidence came from, to be honest. Like right now, I really like me. Really enjoy myself. I have a lot of confidence. I know that I bring a lot of energy. I know that I bring a lot to the table. You know what I mean?
00:07:28
Speaker
in past relationships that I used to be in, I didn't think I had a lot to offer. Now I don't know if that was just from just all the relationships that I've been in and just past trauma and it just kind of like beat me down and I just had this lack of confidence and I didn't believe in myself and I didn't like
00:07:49
Speaker
I didn't believe I had a lot to offer to that person and that's why I would always overthink and I was like, Oh, maybe they're going to leave me and I was always scared.
Insecure Relationships and Self-Improvement
00:07:56
Speaker
And you get what I'm saying? Like this, this could be a really terrible thing in your life when you have a lack of confidence, you're insecure and you're overthinking all the time. When you're in that state of mind,
00:08:11
Speaker
you're probably not gonna have a successful relationship ever. And then you're just gonna be going through this like constant cycle of the same things happening all the time. You start out with a relationship, fireworks, it's magic, everything is amazing. You guys are bonding about the reasons why your last relationships never worked out. Oh my God, like you went through that too? Oh yeah, me too, wow. And you bond over that.
00:08:40
Speaker
And then you guys start to really like each other and guess what? Those insecurities come back out and then the other person is also very insecure because they went through the same shit and they never took time to work on themselves but like
00:08:56
Speaker
they just jump right back into something else. And then those insecurities will come up and your lack of confidence is still there. And then you start to like that person a lot. And then you start overthinking and your jealousies come out and then can guess what happens? You guys break up again and then, and then you're moving on to the next person, right? And I used to do that
00:09:17
Speaker
every single fucking time, right? It was me that like I used to do that. And there's a lot of us out in this world that that that goes through that cycle, right? And you're going to stay in that cycle until you break
00:09:34
Speaker
overthinking, you build up a confidence in yourself, stop being insecure, believe in yourself, know what you have to offer, right?
Finding Purpose and Self-Focus
00:09:45
Speaker
If you're not happy with yourself, you will never be happy, truly happy in another relationship, right? And one thing that I really think that
00:10:00
Speaker
I have a purpose now. I really have a drive and passion within me. And I'm really, really focused on that. So past Adam, I don't think I've really had a purpose in my life. And I don't think I had a passion or a drive. So those relationships that I would get in, that was the main priority of my life.
00:10:26
Speaker
That was my purpose, right? I had to make that relationship work, but instead of taking all of that energy and putting all that into myself, I put that into relationship, but I was also really fucked up.
00:10:42
Speaker
Like I also was just very insecure and like, you know what I mean? So like I just wanted that to work so bad in the moment I just know I just needed this for me to be happy I and I'd be so like threatened if they were gonna leave, you know what I mean? So like it was just just like constant cycle of just shit because I
00:11:05
Speaker
was just overthinking everything and I was insecure and I had lacked confidence and I was jealous and I wasn't happy with myself. So that just forced me to overthink all of these things and create all of these problems in every single relationship and then the relationship would just
00:11:27
Speaker
it wouldn't work out, right? So like, I know I'm really diving into the whole relationship thing. Cause like, that's, I guess that's like what I relate to because that's how I used to overthink a lot. And that's what caused the most problems in my life. So they're like, that's what I'm talking about. But you could be overthinking about anything, right? Like overthinking will ruin your life. If you let it, it will honestly ruin your life.
00:11:56
Speaker
Anything could possibly come up in your life and and most people will just run every single possible scenario about What could possibly happen like for example?
00:12:09
Speaker
you want to go bungee jumping most some people say fuck yeah let's go let's get it there's gonna be so much fun but then the other person's like well what if this happens what if that happens what if this happens I don't know the and you know what I mean and it's just gonna get to the point where you're never gonna do it because you just talk yourself out of it right
00:12:29
Speaker
Like most people talk themselves out of doing a lot of things because you overthink it, right? And I'm just at a point right now where I'm always just saying, yes, yeah, let's go do that. Yes, I'm doing this. Yes, I'm doing that. A lot of things are definitely scary. And that atom that had lack of confidence
00:12:55
Speaker
very insecure, not happy, no purpose, no drive would never be saying, yes, I want to do this. Yes. I would always be like, um, maybe let me think about it. And then I'll go and I would overthink it to the point where I would say no, or say, or overthink things to, no, I'm not showing up now or not taking a risk because I'm just overthinking everything. And like that overthinking just really took over my life.
00:13:24
Speaker
Now, here comes the fun part.
Self-Realization through Microdosing and Mentorship
00:13:27
Speaker
If I never took a lot of time for me and sit with myself and try to figure out what I really needed to do to get better,
00:13:42
Speaker
I would have still been stuck in that overthinking mind and I would have had a face on, right? I would have been hiding everything. People, people that knew me would be like, oh, he's happy, he's good, right? But like, I would have that front on, but really, I'd be a very insecure man with a lot of lack of confidence, not happy, no purpose, no drive.
00:14:08
Speaker
And man, that's fucking terrible. You don't want to be living that life. You do not want to be living that life. So.
00:14:17
Speaker
The best thing that I honestly did for myself, because I was so used to being in relationships and I'd like break up with one girl and then I would just jump into the other one. And then it just kept going in that stupid little cycle. Right. Um, trust me, like I'm not here talking shit about relationships. Like I I'm just, I've learned a lot from my relationships and I feel like I've gone through a lot of things within those relationships.
00:14:45
Speaker
that forced me to get better. It forced me to change. It forced me to learn more about myself. And I'm thankful for those relationships because I am where I am right now because of that. Now, most people are stuck in that and they never, they never get it. And they're always in that cycle until they die. So like,
00:15:12
Speaker
I think you just need to understand and like just be more acceptive that like maybe you're the fucking problem, not everybody else. Like maybe if you just fix up your own life and you fix your energy and you fix the things that's going on in your mind and you fix all this overthinking and then everything's going to change, you might attract different people. Do you get what I'm saying? So like the best thing that I could, that I done for myself
00:15:39
Speaker
was take time away and stop looking other places and start looking within.
00:15:49
Speaker
And when I took all that time and I started working on myself and really like started to understand like what was actually happening, the biggest, the biggest change for me, honestly, is when I started microdosing. I started microdosing. I took a lot of time being single. I started working with these medicines. Um, I started, I had, I had this mentor in my life and then I really started staying like, holy shit. Wow. Like.
00:16:18
Speaker
I need a lot of help in my life. I was literally the reason for majority of all the problems in my life because I was just overthinking everything. I was insecure. I was lacking confidence. I was not happy with myself. I had no purpose. All of that combined was just a big pot of fuckery and it caused a lot of shit in my life.
00:16:42
Speaker
And then when I really started working on myself and working with these medicines and like really understanding how my mind worked more. And I started like slowly, slowly, but surely I stopped being like insecure. And I started being like, man, you're fucking deadly, buddy. Like.
00:17:04
Speaker
You have a lot. You have a lot to offer to somebody. Why? Why are you second guessing yourself? Why are you like being this little insecure fucking little bitch? Why are you like thinking that these like the way I am now is I love me. Right now at Old Adam didn't really love that guy.
00:17:32
Speaker
And when that guy was in a relationship, you know, he was terrified that people were going to leave him and you're going to take away from my happiness. Oh my God. No, but like me right now, someone leaves me. It's your choice. You can go like I'm fucking okay with me. And I know that I'm going to bring my own happiness. I've said this many times before. I'm sure you've heard me say it on this podcast, but like,
00:18:02
Speaker
I built up a lot of confidence in myself. I'm not insecure anymore. I'm very happy with my own life. I have a lot of drive and a lot of purpose. And that drive isn't relationships. That drive isn't any elder person at all. That drive is just
00:18:19
Speaker
It's just within me and I know exactly what I'm doing and I'm very happy with the life that I have so
Self-Awareness in Overcoming Overthinking
00:18:27
Speaker
No relationship that's gonna come in is gonna take away from that. I'm not gonna think any I'm not gonna overthink anything right? So all I'm saying is once I really started to like
00:18:40
Speaker
You know, work on Adam and start like building up that confidence. The insecurities just kind of went away. Like once that once I really built up my confidence and once I really started believing in myself and really trusting in myself and, you know, here to see myself win all that insecurities, all that fucking lack of confidence, like all that bullshit, all that overthinking, just win out the fucking window, you know,
00:19:09
Speaker
So I just really do believe that if you are somebody that's overthinking or maybe you just relate it to something that I said about the relationships and maybe you think that you're going through that cycle as well, I think you need to step away from all of that shit and really sit with yourself and then try to find happiness within yourself.
00:19:33
Speaker
I talked about this on the last episode. We're looking for happiness in all the wrong places. I really wanted to dive into the overthinking aspect because overthinking can really control our life.
00:19:48
Speaker
control our decisions, control a lot of things and it's just not good. Like when you step away from that overthinking mind and you just say yes or no and you're just confident in your answers and you don't have to overthink everything, I'm telling you, you're going to live a much happier life and
00:20:12
Speaker
I know, like I'm so passionate about this. I just wanted to get on and talk to you guys about it because...
00:20:20
Speaker
I was that guy that I used to overthink everything my mind used to race all of the time. Very insecure relationship. So that would cause me to overthink even more. I would create all these stories that weren't even true. I would play all these scenarios in my head all of the time and it just caused so much fucking chaos in my life.
00:20:45
Speaker
chaos and I know that there's a lot of you guys that are probably dealing with the same fucking shit and you don't know how to get out of it but you're just stuck in it and you're so used to it and you're just okay with it and then once once you break you know once that maybe you're in the relationship right and then you break up and then okay and then what what normally happens when when someone breaks up is you go on as big low
00:21:13
Speaker
But then you start to come in on this big high and you're like, oh, everything is everything is I'm fucking I'm great again. Oh, I'm fucking I'm wicked. Like I feel good. I'm happy. And then what happens? You get into a relationship with somebody else and maybe one, two, three months go gets in the relationship. And then those fucking insecurities comes out again.
00:21:41
Speaker
because you never done the work on yourself. And then you're gonna go through that same fucking cycle again of a relationship and you're trying to make it work, but all these insecurities are causing so many problems in your life.
00:21:56
Speaker
and then you guys break up and then you go on that high again, oh fuck yeah, this is who I truly am, this is, I'm happy, you know what I mean? But yes, like that feeling of when you're first becoming single and you get over that person and you're really happy, that's how you should be your whole life, even going into relationships. But if you don't fix yourself and if you don't like,
00:22:23
Speaker
really work on yourself, then those insecurities are gonna come out in everything. Not just relationships, everything. Your work, your friendships with your brothers, your family, you know, all these insecurities that you have and all that lack of confidence that you have.
00:22:45
Speaker
If you don't work on yourself, you don't take time for you. And if you don't really like do the fucking work and then people are probably wondering like, Hey, well, what do you mean do the work? What do you mean work on myself? Like you have to sit with yourself and really be like, okay.
00:23:04
Speaker
I'm the reason for this. I do overthink a lot. This is the way that my mind works. And you have to be really in tune with that. And when those insecurities start to come out, you need to be fucking aware of those insecurities and how your mind is working and realize that that's not right.
00:23:24
Speaker
You shouldn't be thinking that way you shouldn't be overthinking you shouldn't be coming up with all these scenarios in your head playing everything out and you know you really need to just be in tune and be aware of everything that's going on in your mind.
00:23:41
Speaker
Slowly over time, when you fine tune things in your brain, how your brain is working, thoughts you're having, the way that you react to emotions, things that trigger you instead of having this big reaction. When you just fine tune little things, over time, you're gonna be more confident in yourself and you're gonna build that confidence.
00:24:07
Speaker
And then you're not going to be insecure because you don't always work. And when you build that confidence, there's no more insecurities. You believe in you now. Oh, fuck. I am making me happy now. Wow. Imagine that. I know I just said a lot of things.
Encouragement to Overcome Overthinking
00:24:26
Speaker
Yeah. Honestly, I'm going to be straight up with you.
00:24:29
Speaker
This is what I do. I just took a turn of events. But this is what I do on Mondays. Mondays, I literally take two of the Jedi microcybin products. Now, that specific formula is supposed to help creativity and bring new ideas and stuff like that. So I'll take two of those. I'll sit in the meditation for about 20 minutes and I'll just really think about
00:24:57
Speaker
whatever comes to actually I don't even think it just stuff just comes to me stuff just comes to me and then I do this podcast so like whatever whatever comes to me when I'm doing that meditation then I just want to sit down and like really dive into this podcast and do exactly what I'm doing right now so
00:25:16
Speaker
Anyways, I hope you took something from this episode. I know I said a lot. I know it's a lot to take in, but I know that there's some of you that are dealing with this as well. And I know that some of you know it, but you just don't do anything about it. And that's the, that is the first part is being aware and knowing, knowing that you got problems,
00:25:44
Speaker
just even just being aware of that as the first step when you're not aware of it and you're always pointing a finger, you're just your last cause.
00:25:53
Speaker
But when you start being aware of these things and you're like, oh man, something got to change. That's the first step. You just got to start applying action and start really working within yourself. So if you relate it to this podcast, if you think somebody else is going through the things that I just said, maybe they need some
00:26:15
Speaker
some guidance or some help then send them this podcast tell them say hey listen you should listen to this like be be be nice about it because some people some people they will take a lot of offense what do you think i'm i got a problem why do you want me to listen to this podcast like that's how some people get on right so like if that's the type of person
00:26:39
Speaker
be nice about it. Be like, man, I listen to this podcast. Like, I've really related to it. Like, I think you should have a listen. You know what I mean? Be nice about it. But
00:26:49
Speaker
Yeah, let me know what you think of it If you did like it share it on share on instagram tag me in the story. We really greatly appreciate that and Don't forget hit the subscribe on whatever platform You are listening this to this too. So you'll get a notification every time I post a new episode. So
00:27:12
Speaker
Don't overthink. And if you are overthinking and overthinking is controlling your life, then you need to start working on yourself to break this overthinking mind. Have a good day. I love you. Thanks for stopping by.