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20. Why aren't you doing the things that make you happy? FILL YOUR CUP 1ST
92 Plays2 years ago
Glad to be back for another episode! This episode I talk about how I never used to do the things to fully makes me happy and what I did to change that. It's so important to take care of yourself and do the things that is going to fill your cup, because at the end of the day when your cup is full you can then give your best energy to other areas of your life that needs it most.
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Transcript
Return from Vacation and Personal Reflections
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to another episode of Unlocking with Adam Pike. I'm glad to be back. It's been a minute. I just got back from my vacation from Miami. And as you can tell, my voice is a little raspy. It's just been kind of like, flu-ish a little bit. But I'm excited to be back doing these episodes.
00:00:20
Speaker
Once again, I'm trying to get a couple of guests out for you guys. I got some stuff cooking up and I'm very, very excited about it. But what are we going to be talking about today? So I just posted a quote on Instagram. Make your own happiness just as important as your partner's happiness is to you because your cup needs filling too. Now, why do I want to talk about this? Okay.
Prioritizing Happiness in Relationships
00:00:50
Speaker
Well, this quote kind of resonates with me because I used to be that guy that would do everything for his partner, stop doing things that I enjoyed.
00:01:06
Speaker
stop snowboarding stop playing basketball like wouldn't go to the gym like whatever I could possibly do that I've really loved I would stop doing it just to give my partner time like my time to make them happy right and that's not healthy that is not healthy whatsoever and if you're doing this I highly suggest that you stop okay so
00:01:38
Speaker
Fast forward to my current life right now. I am doing everything that I enjoy, but my partner also likes the same things that I do, which I've never had before. People that I used to date before
00:01:58
Speaker
You know, we were kind of like complete opposites. We never really enjoyed the same things. And they always say opposites attract. And I really used to believe that. And I feel like it's definitely true. But when you sit down and look at, is this person going to be my person for the rest of my life? I really think that you need to find somebody
00:02:25
Speaker
where they have the same interest as
Balancing Personal Interests and Family
00:02:30
Speaker
you do. They like going to the gym. Just imagine finding a partner where you guys can go to the gym together. That's what I have right now. I'm at the gym a lot and she likes to be at the gym a lot.
00:02:42
Speaker
I love to snowboard. She loves to snowboard. Wow, we can go snowboarding together. I like going on hikes. She likes going on hikes. I like the golf. She likes to, you know what? You get what I'm saying here right now? Like that to me is a very healthy relationship. So why was I spending all these years with people that didn't really enjoy the same things I did?
00:03:10
Speaker
It beats me. I don't know. Maybe I was just, you know, I'm not going to say maybe I was just wrong for doing that because there's definitely a lot of people out there where they don't really have the same interest. And that's okay. That's totally okay. All I'm saying here right now is it's just more convenient to be with somebody who likes the same things that you do. And then you guys can enjoy those things together, right?
00:03:38
Speaker
So that's all I'm saying. So make your own happiness just as important as your partner's happiness is to you because your cup needs filling too. What I mean by that is you need to take time to do things that you enjoy and just say you are with somebody that you don't have the same interest. That's totally fine.
00:04:04
Speaker
but you still need to do the things that you love to do to make you happy. Like let's just say if you have children, maybe you got three kids and a husband, you know, you're, you're really busy and most moms, most moms will literally do anything and everything to make their kids happy and their husband happy. And like at the end of the day, like are you giving yourself
00:04:31
Speaker
Anytime to you to make you happy. Like, are you doing the things that you still enjoy? I know like life can get busy. You got a job, get kids, but you still need to do the things that you like to enjoy because if you're not filling up your own cup and you're constantly just give, give, give, give, give, and are you really happy?
00:04:57
Speaker
I understand that it probably makes you happy to make your kids happy. It makes you happy to do nice things for your partner, but you also got to take care of yourself. I never really knew this because right up until now, it's like I'm really starting to focus on me and what I need to do to make myself happy.
00:05:22
Speaker
And before it was just, I didn't care about me. It was just always just do whatever I could possibly do to make my partner
The Impact of Microdosing
00:05:31
Speaker
happy. And I didn't care about Adam. And if when I look back on it, I wasn't really truly happy. No, what did it take for me to, you know, figure this out and figure out that, well, maybe I need to find somebody that's
00:05:45
Speaker
like me has the same interest and what do I gotta do to make Adam happy? And I didn't really know, but I did start microdosing and I started surrounding myself with these really smart people that knew a lot about microdosing and kinda helped me restructure my brain. And that's basically what I'd done. I've restructured my brain.
00:06:14
Speaker
Because when you're microdosing the psilocybin and LSD, you know, it creates these new pathways in your brain. I've said this before, and I'm sure you guys have heard me say it multiple times, but just think of it like this. If you have anxiety, right? And, you know, maybe you just, for example, you get invited to a party.
00:06:37
Speaker
And you're having anxiety about what to wear, who's going to be there, what you should bring. And maybe you start creating false narratives in your head, things that could possibly go wrong. And it's just all negative, negative, negative bullshit that really doesn't matter.
00:07:00
Speaker
I used to be like that, and those are the things that I used to stress out about. Just stupid nonsense in my head for no simple reason. Why was I doing that? Now, every single time this same situation would come up, I would still have those same exact thoughts, and no new ones. I wasn't doing anything to change that. Actually, I really wanna point this out.
00:07:28
Speaker
I used to drink a lot when I would just, for example, getting ready to go somewhere, especially if I was going somewhere by myself and I had to show up to like a place by myself, I would get real bad anxiety like that. So I would sit at home, you know, get ready and I would just pound drink after drink after drink after drink and then I would get there and I would just drink and drink and drink
00:07:52
Speaker
And then what happens? Oh my God, I'm so drunk and I'm having so much fun. This is great. So I basically had to drink a lot of alcohol to numb my anxiety so I would have a good time. That sounds fucking insane. Just think about that for a second. Just think about that for a second. Any time I would get anxiety and I was going places that I was having anxiety about going, I would drink my face off
00:08:22
Speaker
to numb that anxiety to go have a good time. That don't make any sense to me. So I started micro dosing and then all of a sudden when these new pathways are getting connected in your brain, I'm having new thoughts about this. And I would think about things differently and I would look at those things differently. So like,
00:08:49
Speaker
over time, when you're using the psilocybin and it's creating those pathways, you can literally restructure your brain, right? So that's basically what I done, I restructured my brain. So now, like I said, I did a lot of work on myself and what makes Adam happy and I discovered and I figured out like what I really need to make me happy.
00:09:16
Speaker
And I made an Instagram post about this the other day. Basically everything that I'm talking about right now and the relationship I'm in right now and why it's a more healthy relationship compared to my past relationships. It's because I restructured my brain and I use the psilocybin and I literally can
00:09:40
Speaker
I literally have to thank microcybin because of that because I believe strongly believe if I didn't start micro dosing, I would be stuck in my same ways. I feel like I probably would have got another girlfriend that probably wasn't right for me.
00:10:00
Speaker
And I would have been doing the same things and I would have been making myself happy. And it's just, I feel like I probably would have gone through another failed relationship. Have I not took time to myself.
Work and Financial Strategies
00:10:16
Speaker
I think I took a full year, maybe even more to myself, like not really worrying about dating or anything like that. And just really worked on Adam. And then boom, fast forward right now. I'm in a happy.
00:10:31
Speaker
loving normal relationship and it's nice. It's really, really nice. I got two say's really, really nice and I love it. But another thing that I feel like contributes to that normal relationship is me not working my ass off 24 seven. I actually came across a memory on Facebook the other day
00:11:00
Speaker
And it's, what did it say? It was my old company that I had worked for seven years ago, and they made a post saying, Adam, congratulations on working the most hours this week. See you later with your treat. Now, when I read that, I was like, man, man. From the second I got into high school,
00:11:30
Speaker
right up until last summer, I basically would go work these jobs and any overtime that was possible, I would take it. I would always be asking overtime, overtime, overtime today, overtime. And even on my days off, when I was had scheduled days off, I'd go in and work overtime as much as I can just because I wanted money. And
00:12:02
Speaker
When I think back about this, this is actually insane because I feel like now I'm working a lot less and I'm making a lot less, but I have a lot more money. And before I was making a lot more, like, I mean a lot more, I was never home. I was always working. And then on my few short days that I had off,
00:12:31
Speaker
I managed to spend a lot like a lot of, you know, trips and partying and drinking and just poor choices. And like, I remember that I used to spend a lot of money and that makes no sense to me because I'm making a lot less right now and I'm still enjoying my life. I'm just making smarter decisions and I'm also drinking a lot less. I feel like that has a lot to do with it because
00:13:00
Speaker
you know, when I would work 20 days straight, um, my previous jobs and I would get maybe two, three days off, what would I do? Going out and eating like crazy, like fine whining, dining, you know, go party my ass off till five in the morning, just probably spending like there's, there was nights that I probably would spend actually, I don't, I'm embarrassed to say the most money I've spent in one night.
00:13:27
Speaker
but like on a regular night it was easy, 500 bucks. Easy, like that was probably minimal. I went out and spending $500 in one night down to George Street. That turns my stomach to even think about right now. What I'm currently, like this season of my life that I'm currently in right now, I look at that $500 as an investment on myself.
00:13:57
Speaker
Okay, what can I do to improve my quality of life or what can I, you know, take that $500, throw it down on some micro dosing. Okay, this is going to help me for the next six months. Boom. I invested in myself. Um, go get some new camera gear, pay for your content, like up your content game.
00:14:22
Speaker
than that money there. Before it was just, I wasn't even thinking about this stuff. I was always just spend, spend, spend, spend, spend on bullshit that brought me no value to my
Self-Improvement Journey
00:14:38
Speaker
life. All it brought me was anxiety and stress. I'd be depressed. I'd feel like shit. I'd get no sleep. It makes no sense. The way that I'm living right now,
00:14:52
Speaker
I want to save all that fun that I used to have for a trip. Like when I just went to Miami. I went nuts. I went nuts for a week. Because I fucking deserved it. I just worked my ass off. I don't really go out at all anymore. I actually don't even remember the last time I was down to George Street. And I want to keep it that way.
00:15:15
Speaker
And for anybody listening that don't know what George Street is, um, it's a street here in St. John's where, you know, you can only, cars can't go through there and it's just bars lined up along and I love it. It's great.
00:15:31
Speaker
But I like, I've did my time there and it doesn't really, it's not really appealing to me anymore. You know what I mean? I will go down there if there's, you know, a friend's birthday or maybe there's a cool concert or something like that. But like, I'm not going out on these random nights anymore. Just wasting my money and feeling like shit. It just, it just, it's not appealing to me. So I'm just going to save those nights for a trip.
00:16:02
Speaker
or a big event or something like that. And since I start doing this, I am noticing that I'm saving a lot more money, a lot more money. And I'm feeling way better about myself. I don't have that anxiety and stress and waking up feeling like shit. And I don't really want to do that. So anyways, talking about the grind mode, being in that work, work, work mindset all the time, right?
00:16:31
Speaker
If you just keep doing that your entire life, your life is going to be gone just like that. And before you know it, you're going to look back and say, God damn, I wish that I lived more. I actually watched this video on YouTube and it was a guy that was out on the streets
00:16:54
Speaker
and he was walking up to people that were like in their 70s, 80s, and he was asking them if there was one thing in your life that you regret, what would it be? Or what would you change? And legit, every single person said, live more and not worry about the stupid things.
00:17:22
Speaker
and just experience a lot. So, have I not changed my life? And I was stuck in that grind mode, work, work, work, as much as I possibly can to make money just so I can spend it on bullshit and not really evolve in my life. I would be stuck in that life my whole life. I wouldn't change.
00:17:52
Speaker
wouldn't really have a whole ton of money because I would be spending it on shit and probably would just be single. Let's be honest, probably would be single. And I would still, you know, have those days of anxiety and stress and worry and creating false narratives and just to me, if I did that my entire life,
00:18:20
Speaker
and I eventually got older and looked back, I would be floored. I would be floored. Because the life that I'm living right now, all I'm doing, this is literally all that Adam Pike is doing, is just trying to get better every single day, surround myself with knowledgeable people,
00:18:48
Speaker
take advice, apply it to my life and try to get better every single day. So that's it. That's all I'm trying to do. If you look at like, sometimes I scroll back on my Instagram page and I look at the way I used to talk, like when I would like make videos of me talking or, you know, how I used to edit my videos. And I don't know if any of you really have been paying attention, but
00:19:19
Speaker
If you look at one of these videos and watch me talk and scroll forward to me talking right now, I'm a completely different person. I talk different. Everything about me is different. Everything. It's wild. It's actually wild. Sometimes I literally see a video that will pop up in a memory or something on Facebook. And I would say, who in the fuck is this guy?
00:19:48
Speaker
Who is this guy? I don't know. I don't know him. I laugh at myself. It's wild. And I can't imagine being stuck like that. Stuck, because that's what it is. I would have been stuck. No guidance, no help, not wanting to change myself. So this season of my life, I love, because it's fucking beautiful.
00:20:17
Speaker
It is, I'm just constantly growing and leveling up and I'm just happy. I'm just happy. And everybody, everybody has the opportunity to do that, to change their life, to continue to grow, to work on themselves, to invest in themselves, do things that they love, fill up your
00:20:47
Speaker
Because when you fill up your cup, that's when you are the most happy. And when you are the most happy, guess what happens then? You can truly give people that are around you, like your partner, a lot of really good love and attention that they need. You get what I'm saying here right now? If I was still stalking past Adam, I would never be truly happy. I wouldn't be able to give
00:21:17
Speaker
as much as I possibly could give to my partner, which would just end, I believe in a failed relationship time and time again. And it would be not to life that I would want to be living. You know what I mean? So if I can suggest to you anything, it would be to work on yourself and make sure that you are happy always. And if you're not doing that,
00:21:48
Speaker
you should need to start or even start thinking about it. You know, start watching some videos of on YouTube. So many positive, good videos on YouTube with these very smart, intelligent people, you know, talking about how to apply these things to your life. I'm talking about it right now. I'm one, I'm one of these people because I'm like, I'm living proof of this because I have done this myself.
00:22:15
Speaker
And my quality of life has gone up through the roof since I've been focusing on Adam. And when I put Adam number one, everything else in life is just easy. It's easy going, no stress, no anxiety, no worrying, no bullshit, no nonsense, no fighting in my relationships. Everything is just easy.
00:22:47
Speaker
and you could have easy too. If you just do the work, do
Concluding Thoughts and Invitation
00:22:53
Speaker
the work. If your life is hectic right now and maybe your relationship is not going the way you want it to go, just start working on yourself first. Don't try to change other people, you know what I mean? And like, don't point the finger because it all comes, it all boils down to you.
00:23:16
Speaker
A lot of people like to blame their partner for things. Say, well, I'm angry because of you. You make me stressed out. You make me like this. This is all you, you, you. That's wrong. You have complete control of your brain. You can have complete control of your brain if you really work at it.
00:23:43
Speaker
because I used to say those things. Can you imagine that? I used to say, I'm so angry because of you. You make me like this, so this is not the person that I am. I used to say that. And man, man. Sorry, I'm just having a moment here. I'm having a moment here like this. My life is so different right now.
00:24:14
Speaker
that I cannot imagine ever, ever saying those words or being like that or getting so mad at it. You know what I mean? I just can't imagine doing it because that's not me anymore because I've done the work. But in the time I invested in myself, filled up Adam's cup and now I'm living the life that I want to live.
00:24:42
Speaker
So I'm gonna end this podcast off here. And this was a good episode. This is a good episode. I'm really excited to be back. I really wanna start doing some really good podcasts. I'm very excited about that. So I hope you enjoyed this video.
00:25:01
Speaker
or not video I hope you enjoy this podcast and you know if you do like this podcast I would really appreciate it if you send it to your friends to listen to hit that subscribe button on whatever platform that you're listening to if it's Spotify or Apple Podcasts hit the notifications
00:25:26
Speaker
Subscribe and if you do love this episode give me a rating that would really I would really appreciate that if you You've done that. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and I can't wait to do another one Have a good day. Peace