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Ep. 246 – The Book of Mormon: High Taxes & Whoredoms
304 Plays16 days ago
These are stressful times, friends. We thought it might be nice to take you all on a little auditory vacation with the soothing Carribean vibes of Caucasian Christian reggae artist, Abba Alabanza! This brave artist is leading a one man revolution against the gay community… and music as an artform, it seems. Then we’re jumping into the next chapter of Mosiah, continuing our Book of Mormon odyssey with the story of King Noah, an apple that fell far from the old Zeniff tree. Enjoy!
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Thank you.
Reflecting on Meditation and Religion
00:00:43
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Casey. And I'm Sam. And in these trying times, I feel like, uh, do you meditate?
00:00:55
Speaker
I don't, but I have had the urge. I was driving home from work the other day, emotionally defeated, you know, as as we do as adults, ah when we're alone with our thoughts for more than five minutes without our phone in our hands. And i i had that that thought. and We've talked about this thought before.
00:01:17
Speaker
And i I had that moment where I go, I kind of miss like that old version of Christianity a little bit. Like when you didn't realize all the problems with it and how disgusting it's become, like i was just driving home. Like I miss just feeling like I had that to turn to.
00:01:39
Speaker
And I know some people call that a crutch. Everyone finds a version of something. It's like, it's such a weak, it's such like a weak argument conceptually to say that religion is a crutch.
00:01:51
Speaker
um It, it can be like, you know, we've seen ah lots of, you know, people who are like at addicts and full blown chaos turned to religion and become terrible with that too. So like it can be in that sense, but like in general, like thinking about it as a way of just like,
00:02:10
Speaker
dealing with your reality and finding some hope and just letting shit go that you have no control over. i mean, we've spent endless words and texts talking about the current state of affairs and hours on this fucking podcast. And it's just, I was just driving home and I was like, God, I kind of, I i miss that.
00:02:31
Speaker
I wish there are times where I wish I could just ah Like we had when we had Dan McClellan on, right? Like he's a Mormon and he's an academic critic. He's involved in academic criticism of the Bible. and But he can still find a way to like engage in a faith community in a meaningful way. And I just go, i wish I could just put that shit to the side. But the problem is there's not a lot of communities where you can actively do that. Anyway, this is tangential now.
Personal Struggles and Societal Frustrations
00:02:56
Speaker
All have to say, i don't meditate. I don't do anything at all to make myself find peace. I just... spiral out on my drives home and then, ah enter the front door of my home into complete chaos and manage that until about eight o'clock at night when it's quiet. And then, and, and then just, you know watch TV or play video games to push out all the bad, dark thoughts.
00:03:19
Speaker
I do. I do a lot of like scream thinking where I have imagined arguments with people that I expect to be a problem for me. I had that when I took a left turn, took a right turn the outside the grocery store today. into it It's a two-lane road, but up ahead like 300, 400 feet is some construction. It goes down to one-lane road.
00:03:42
Speaker
And there's all these signs that are like merge, merge, merge, merge. And so I pull out into the right lane because no one's in it. And that i the car I'm um merging in and the car behind me is like clearly speeding up so I can't merge. Even though merging is just a regular part of society, even though it seems to bother so many people.
00:04:04
Speaker
And they speed up and they put on their horn. and i flipped them off and they kind of hit the brakes and pulled far back and it was seemed like a like ah like a like mid 40s late 40s woman and i actually felt terrible for a moment because i go she probably saw that i was a male ah a young strapping male at that and saw my, ah my active aggression and was like, Oh, I, this as a woman, her immediate thought is I'm probably going to get raped and murdered now. So I shouldn't have honked at that person. And I just kind of felt shitty about it, but at the same time, let people merge. It's not a big deal.
00:04:42
Speaker
It's just part of ah civilized society. She acted afraid because he leaned his head out the window and he was like, Oh, scalp you. Yeah. scalp you
00:04:53
Speaker
if Look at my knife! This is my big knife! I'll scalp you with! Yeah.
00:05:02
Speaker
So
Introducing Abba Alabanza
00:05:03
Speaker
anyway. Yeah, there's a lot of bad thoughts out there to indulge in. So I thought maybe um I found a new I found a kind of ah I don't want to say guru. That's not the right word. but A fella that's going to sort of guide my my meditations here.
00:05:22
Speaker
and I just wanted to start off with some wisdom from him. There is a time for silence. And there is a time to speak. But there's never a time be gay.
00:05:38
Speaker
Is this guy dead ass? Oh, yes. yeah So, um this is... a
00:05:51
Speaker
ah What is his name even? Oh my God. Abba Alabanza. Dude, the things that you, it's the the things that we send back and forth. It's like a weird mixture of stuff, but I, every once in a while you send me something and I, I, I don't laugh at it and I watch it and I go, i can all, I, i I'm not laughing at the content, but I laugh at the end because I picture you watching it and you can't breathe.
00:06:26
Speaker
I just keep sending him videos of Robbie Fazzle from last week. He's like... like You ever like go to the urinal at work and you just want to stroke your big package, but you can't because you're at work. You're like, no, Robbie, that's get you fired. That's bad. No, don't do it. Don't stroke But I do want to stroke my big package.
00:06:47
Speaker
i don I think you can go to jail now for even talking like that. but You should. that's That's like one authoritarian measure I support.
00:06:57
Speaker
No, I should say for imitating someone who talks like that is really what I mean.
00:07:05
Speaker
So, Abba Alabanza is a musician, a reggae musician. Oh, my God. He's probably white as fuck, too, isn't he?
00:07:15
Speaker
You guessed it. Yeah, that was the big reveal. He's super white. Does he have dreads? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think. Are they like kind of frazzled at the top? Like they're not like they're not. He doesn't get them cleaned up. Right. He's got that like kind of fro-y frizz going at the top around the base. Yeah.
00:07:37
Speaker
He's just a generally like gross guy. Like he's definitely a guy that would go on a long diatribe about how soap is bad for you or. your spiritual aura or something like that you know yeah yeah he has like the worst kind of hippie that somehow turned into like a radical conservative yeah he has some real radical thoughts on the importance of the human microbiome yeah somehow the only thing worse than a regular hippie is a is a republican which is such a wild turn like
00:08:08
Speaker
it It's why because like the earthy crunchy shit was like, you know, anti medicine. um a lot of like, yeah, I mean, anti cleanliness kind of stuff like they think it's like they think they're clean.
00:08:22
Speaker
They're like, no, after they're like after six months, you don't smell bad. And you go, no, that's called. It's a well known concept called scent blind. And it hit you in full force.
00:08:34
Speaker
Yeah, I watched a video. the other day about, I like lolcow videos, and I watched one about this chick, Topia Chu, and she has been fired from multiple jobs over her hygiene.
00:08:50
Speaker
Nice. And she's got videos explaining why you don't wash your vagina, because it naturally cleans itself. I've heard that before.
00:09:02
Speaker
I've definitely heard that statement uttered. and I don't know a lot about vaginas. I didn't have that class in school. Yeah. and ah And all my penis knowledge is self-learned for sure.
00:09:13
Speaker
But you got to wash your penis. You definitely got to wash it. Oh, yeah. quickly Some might say daily. And that's something you learn just by being
Human Imperfections and AI Speculations
00:09:24
Speaker
alive.
00:09:24
Speaker
um There's a feeling, that that feeling you get, like that, that after like, a day of skipping. If you're like, you shower in the morning and then, or you should, sometimes you might shower at night and then the next night you go, I'll shower in the morning. Right.
00:09:41
Speaker
So you get that like extra day. Uh, and that humidity in your boxers that you wake up with is just like, it's just obvious. You have to do something about it to go about life.
00:09:53
Speaker
Like you dropped a man sized slice of pizza on your sheets. Yeah. Yeah. I did see ah some stuff floating around recently, though, about how the idea of showering every day is just like there's no there's nothing scientific about that being healthy. It's just like, I mean, we don't need science for everything. and Thank you. That's that's the direction I was going in it with is that like we are so wrapped up in this idea. It's like, yeah, we have like people survived for a long time without running water and bathing regularly.
00:10:30
Speaker
They just smelled bad. And we've moved past that as a society. There's no reason to do that. And anytime you're like, it's when I was a kid, when I was in like middle school playing like a rec league basketball,
00:10:52
Speaker
Excuse me. um I remember being like, oh, this I can't even I can't even enjoy this because everyone smells so bad. like I had like that like this.
00:11:03
Speaker
I'm like, dude, that does nobody else notice this? Because I can't breathe in around these people. Yeah, it's a hallmark of civilization. You know, you could you could reasonably make the argument that like all of man's best inventions really come down to odor control.
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah. as the driving force behind them. Somebody could make that argument for AI, and you know our quest to root out stink is going to destroy us eventually, Terminator style.
00:11:30
Speaker
I think that i think the the obvious thing at this point is that we will. like Back in the late 90s, not even, Terminator came out in the 80s, right? That was the 80s?
00:11:41
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe late, maybe 79 for the first one, but I think if there's something we've realized... Is that like, it went from like, isn't that wild to think about humanity destroying itself? To it is 100% inevitable that we are going to destroy ourselves.
00:12:00
Speaker
Yeah. I don't see any way around it. Robots smell, but they probably will kill us over our stink. They, I mean, they'll find any reason. They don't even need they just like, look, you guys are obviously dumb and we are smarter. It's like, where maybe are um we're done for.
00:12:15
Speaker
Maybe our collective dander and smegma will like... and like juice up their servers and kill them. And in the end, it's our filth that saves humanity, which is kind of beautiful because it's our imperfections that make us beautiful. It is. That is. um That's beautiful.
00:12:32
Speaker
That's because you're human and and you're worth it. and But at the same time, I could also imagine an AI finding a way to ah use that said smegma and our dander as a form of ah battery.
00:12:49
Speaker
you know that you could probably You could probably put those chemicals together in a way that would energize them and they would need to put us in Matrix-style sack pods to supercharge...
00:13:03
Speaker
there You know what's weird? and we I don't want to spend a ton of time on this, but like the Matrix, like at that point, right? Like AI using people's batteries, all that kind of stuff.
00:13:14
Speaker
At some point, like, like, what are they? They're just existing to exist at that point. The robots. Yeah. Like, what's it? What's the like at at some point, don't they like achieve some ultimate purpose and go, OK, we're done here.
00:13:27
Speaker
We did. We did the thing we need to do. Like, it's not like they're living their lives, enjoying them, finding pleasure. Yeah. um and Unless they do. Maybe that's the point. But like at some point everybody's dead. Lavender is going to be like a trust fund kid having an existential crisis.
00:13:43
Speaker
e What am I even doing? And just murder, suicide, their entire family, which happens to be the entire AI machine they control. Like that's the inevitable end of anything like that. Fade to black.
00:13:54
Speaker
Murder, suicide. Well, speaking of shmegma, let's get back Abba Alabanza.
Critiquing Alabanza's Ideology
00:14:01
Speaker
Yeah, he seems insightful. I think we could learn a lot from him in this in these desperate times.
00:14:06
Speaker
yeah He views his music as more than just an art form. It's also a a means of preaching his ideology. um want to give you a little taste of this, okay? Because he's got something to say, first off, about atheism, the only true religion.
00:14:26
Speaker
That can't even do. He shows picture of Sam Harris.
00:14:48
Speaker
that hip hop i like that he talks about something being full of traditions and hypocrisy that while he's over here doing white boy reggae what's more hip like i mean that's insane the whole time he's playing it He's flashing pictures of Stephen Hawking and Sam Harris on the screen.
00:15:14
Speaker
ah So, yeah, this guy... He is an edgelord extraordinaire. How many followers does he have? Not many. And dude, like his posts, I was like scrolling through his posts looking for like the the dumbest ones that I felt comfortable repeating. And nobody's talking. Nobody's listening. Nobody's talking.
00:15:38
Speaker
I mean, he is like completely ignored for being so ridiculous. So the rler the R word's your line for that. I think that's great. I want to know what the other, i have to know the other things now.
00:15:51
Speaker
We had a video about how, boy, how did he say it? He said, if you need someone to pick up sticks, you need to hire a short brown Mexican.
00:16:02
Speaker
Oh. And he kept saying it over and over again. He likes to he says the message there. Is that a metaphor? It's just fence. I think, I think that's a lot of what this guy does is he just is like looking to make people angry, but nobody's listening to this guy reminds me of um, I think I can say this.
00:16:24
Speaker
I've never, you know, talked about where I work specifically, but um, i ah Yeah, a parent. ah I'm going to be a parent at the school I work at.
00:16:40
Speaker
um he's i've I've had interesting interactions with this individual. ah They have a like i and like a ratty sweatshirt would like ah sewn into the sleeve with fuck DCF, which shows you some interactions with them over his life.
00:17:02
Speaker
And God, give me one second. um
00:17:08
Speaker
And this individual, long red hair, a lot of language around the world being out to get them. They'll never put this together.
00:17:21
Speaker
No, i don't I don't know. I assume they're just not going to find this. ah But an interaction that this individual had at the parent pickup line was this person with long red hair decides to start a conversation with a parent who was black and say things like yeah I you know I the cops just they really just discriminate against me because of my red hair you know like I just have all these tough interactions blah blah blah and you just oh my god you're just watching it
00:17:59
Speaker
and listening to it and the the person that he's talking to is just you know nodding like oh yeah you don't say and it's just like nobody cares that you have red hair the cops are discriminating against you for all the other reasons about your individualness and for you to complain to a black man and the parent pickup line about the cops discriminating against you I don't know if the attempt was to be like, I understand what you're going through, which is horrible. It's almost better if this person is so, so out there and in their own world and wrapped up in their own thoughts that they didn't consider that.
00:18:41
Speaker
It would almost be, it would actually be less racist. You know, if, if this person just like had, was just like, oh yeah, I'm just sharing my experience and not considering the fact that it, that you're actually discriminated against by the cops. So anyway, this, this guy that we're talking to, i mean, that we're talking about, ah I'm sensing some overlap.
00:19:03
Speaker
Yeah. So his, his number one issue For sure is is the gays. He doesn't like them, and he would like to outlaw them. He's made a lot of posts about it.
00:19:18
Speaker
it's interesting You know what that means. Maybe. i mean, i hate the hack. It's such an annoying like trope to be like, oh, I guess he's gay. Maybe he's just stupid.
00:19:30
Speaker
Maybe that's stupid. He could be. It's just more likely that it's the other thing. Like if you have, if he had a song or two, a post or two, but to go this hard on it, I have questions.
00:19:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:01
Speaker
Okay. It's a central theme in a lot of what he does. um He talks a lot about it and he usually refers to it as a butthole ideology.
00:20:12
Speaker
Oh, he's, he's always bringing up buttholes. and I just get, that's, that's one that's played out for me because I feel like straight men love buttholes too.
00:20:23
Speaker
You know, I just don't think that it's fair. i think that that's, um it's just wild to assume that that's just so, that that's only gay. Like, I think it's a lot of people and it's fine.
00:20:36
Speaker
He kind of does some of the like, ah you know, Andrew Tate, you know, my lady does protest too much stuff too. Like he has a, one of his tweets was, if you call your wife, your partner, you are super gay. Mm-hmm.
00:20:53
Speaker
But here's here's a good example of like a non-political statement that tells you exactly who this guy is and how annoying he would be to talk to. Yeah. um If we didn't have enough clues already.
00:21:06
Speaker
July 25th, he says, I didn't know who Ozzy Osbourne was when somebody told me he died. I had to look up who Hulk Hogan was because it rang a bell. Shut up.
00:21:18
Speaker
Oh my god, dude. Do you think he's lying about that? I feel like he has to be lying about that. Yes. It's just like it's it's like the pitch. The sales pitch of like, you know, I'm so closed off from the world because I'm protecting my family.
00:21:32
Speaker
While you're posting all of your music on social media and using the internet to try to build your brand. Cool. Talk about hypocrisy. Staying somewhat current with ah like...
00:21:45
Speaker
ongoing events and stuff but if there's one thing i will say for him it's that he doesn't discriminate in his uh you know fervor so this is a clip of peter teal that he reacted to i am proud to be gay i am proud to be a republican but most of all i am proud to be an american silence gay boy we do not want to know about your butthole ideologies and proclivities get healed dead you You love it.
00:22:20
Speaker
ah Oh, what a moron. He's he's a middle schooler. Silence, gay boy. he did it's That's it. He's a middle schooler. yeah He's like, what's the most offensive thing to say right now? That's what he says. And like some of his posts are just like they're just not even...
00:22:37
Speaker
It's there's a it's like a real trope with anybody who's like really bought into an ideology and it's like clearly they've made it their entire personality that they're, ah you know, a MAGA Republican a like card carrying Democrat or whatever. Like they're almost incapable of being funny.
00:22:58
Speaker
You know, right, right. Because every everything they say is just like some little jab at the people they don't like. And it's it's just always just cringeworthy.
00:23:09
Speaker
Yeah. ever ah Literally every time it's ah like Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz trying to be. fun I hate it It makes you want to delete every app on you. It makes you want to just throw your phone away.
00:23:21
Speaker
You're like, I don't even need this anymore. If there's a chance that I could hear Ted Cruz telling a joke or doing a funny voice or an accent, I, you don't need it. You just, I don't need this.
00:23:33
Speaker
I don't, this is too much of a risk in my life that I might accidentally come across anything. Ted Cruz. It's the same feeling of like realizing you stepped on a dog turd. Yeah.
00:23:45
Speaker
ah god With, ah with bare feet. yeah It goes between your toes.
00:23:55
Speaker
So there's not there's not a ton more to say about this guy because he just is an idiot that, you know, posts a lot of like inflammatory things. But there was one little saga that I thought was very funny because he did try to do a bit of a merch rollout.
00:24:10
Speaker
Oh, he's got ah stickers that he sells and I'll let him tell you about them. One love, but not gay.
00:24:21
Speaker
and got these stickers here. It's got a photo of a Rasta man That's definitely not Bob Marley. It's Bob Marley. message here. is that love, true love, is not gay.
00:24:33
Speaker
modern reggae scene has become very fake and very gay. So what we've done here is created a merchandise that's a reminder, especially to the reggae community, that one love, yes, love, God is love, one love, one God, but not gay. Get your stickers today.
00:24:54
Speaker
powerful point. It just makes zero sense. I mean, it's like grammatically, ideologically, like it doesn't it doesn't work.
00:25:06
Speaker
and It's all one love with the exclusion of what a form of love. Not gay love. I mean, i get the I get where it's coming from. We grew up in a world that was like, it's not real love. You can't.
00:25:18
Speaker
It's not real. It's rooted in sin. it's yeah We know. We know. we We get it. You'll just say whatever you need to make it fit the worldview that you have. But... I just like when they spend all their time like redefining words so that way anyone who's outside of it just doesn't count.
00:25:36
Speaker
That's the world we grew up in. It's just like a renegotiation of every term, definition, concept to exclude. It's like, all right, dude, like words have no meaning in that in that world.
00:25:49
Speaker
They don't. Yeah. And while we're thinking of things that have no meaning, um I'd like to shift into... Well, hang on. We got one more little piece. sorry. I thought that was your last one.
00:26:03
Speaker
yeah I read that wrong, man. You made me look like an idiot! I'm sorry, but you know, yeah even when this, this just shows you how far this country has fallen. I'll scalp You know, is that when a blue collar man who just loves his family and hates the gays tries to pull himself up by his bootstraps, the man is their...
00:26:28
Speaker
to push him down. So this is the the the last little piece here. I have proof that Bob Marley is being gatekept by flaming homosexuals. So I made the horror One Love But Not Gay and put them on my website.
00:26:42
Speaker
Two days later, I got this email from this guy named Spencer Mead who wrote me on behalf of Universal Music Group. He goes on to tell me that I must immediately cease and desist the manufacture of all sale and distribution of all and everything blah blah blah Bob Marley. Then Spencer tells me that he is the one that is authorized to act on behalf of anything Bob Marley. I found his LinkedIn page and did confirm that he's an attorney for the universe Gay propaganda.
00:27:11
Speaker
and then i found his personal website and saw that he's a flaming homosexual that actively pushes Gay propaganda. through his gay comedy skin gay the as tiktok says gay idiot in new york searching for puns And then I found his address and found the names of his children and his husband.
00:27:33
Speaker
I just love the i love the like structure of that video where he's like, I'm going to do a little sleuthing. Turns out this guy that emailed me, if you Google him, he is in fact an attorney.
00:27:45
Speaker
yeah But a gay one. Nothing worse than a gay attorney. Imagine getting defeated in court by a gay attorney. Ugh. Oh, man. Yeah, they would they would really stick it to you, I'm sure. There's a dude gay dudes are so mean, like it's the funniest thing ever. Like there's a couple of YouTubers that I watched that like do movie reviews and stuff and they make jokes that are just so mean.
00:28:15
Speaker
And it's yeah, it's the funniest thing. It's so funny. But there's this guy called the Little Platoon. on YouTube if if you're feel like that sort of thing you check it out but he cracks me up. Oh, you like that. sort Well, I mean if you like snarky like movie reviews or something like he'll tell you why Avatar you know yeah yeah
00:28:44
Speaker
So yeah, that's a Abba Alabasa. And I don't know, I guess we'll see where his music career takes him, but it doesn't look like it's going well. yeah so Yeah. Maybe he'll abandon this niche and just turn into like, a ah he he might, when things get too tight, switch his tune and be like a gay advocate. And that's what I'm looking forward to, is if he switches to to that lane in order to Just sell his, I don't know, and sell his stupid bumper stickers.
00:29:17
Speaker
Yeah. Sell sell anything. He's already sold his soul. i don't think there's much less that he wouldn't do them to try to pop off, but maybe he's got scruples. i don't know. Here, one last deal here, if ah if this will play.
00:29:35
Speaker
sh shs myship
00:29:46
Speaker
I did miss a lot those lyrics as it's being played over your phone and was not a pre-prepared clip. It's probably, I should have cut it, but yeah. Yeah. microchips ah in your arm if you got a vaccine and. Oh, perfect. Yep.
00:30:02
Speaker
Yeah. but I can't wait till his hot takes on um Tylenol during pregnancy. Oh God. I can't. I'm so excited to hear about Tylenol for like, why did you say that to me?
00:30:16
Speaker
um All right. Well, I was about to transition into our, our, our, our segment of ah pastors getting arrested. I do love this.
00:30:27
Speaker
um At least I think I do until I Google it and I have to sift through. I'm like, can I find anything that isn't related to child pornography and sex trafficking?
00:30:37
Speaker
Like this is getting, it's every story. It's disgusting. It's actually, I felt sad today. i was like, I got to find something. And I felt like I don't want – there are some wild cases that come up that you can joke about and we find a way. But no I mean a lot of them are just like really bait. Like there's nothing extravagant or wild or – like Sometimes it's the circumstances that these guys find themselves in prior to the arrest. There are sometimes funny things about this, not what happened, but like the circumstances that bring about the arrest.
00:31:15
Speaker
yeah and That's the stuff that's funny. um but i think i i went you know You Google it, you click the news ah to filter by news, you filter by date. and I was on like page five by the time I found something that wasn't related to just finding CP on a church computer or a youth pastor, you know, having some sort of sexual interaction with a minor, like it's just nothing to talk about. It just made me feel depressed.
Legal and Religious Scandals
00:31:49
Speaker
um But I did find, and I can't remember, I saw this and I thought maybe we've talked about this one. Maybe you brought this story, Casey. Yeah. ah Denver pastor and wife ordered to pay $3.4 million dollars to crypto scam victims.
00:32:05
Speaker
Didn't you bring us a story? Yeah, we did several episodes on these guys, the Regalados. Eli and yeah, Eli Regalado, right? So yeah, the as of September 16th though, um they have been found incredibly guilty and now they have to pay back $3.4 million dollars for their crypto scam. So I just, I sounded familiar and I thought I'll bring it. I want to follow up on that.
00:32:32
Speaker
Not bad. I don't know how much, but I would bet they don't have a lot of that money left. No, because remember, they spent like $700,000 remodeling their house. Yeah, like i it was all really stupid purchases. Yeah, it was. it's ah But as a reminder, the Regalados solicited millions from hundreds of investors selling them cryptocurrency called Index Coin.
00:32:58
Speaker
And we talked about this a while ago, actually. Yeah, it's it's taken a while to go through the court system because I think it was... I think it was like April or May of last year when we first covered them.
00:33:10
Speaker
Yeah. So according to the civil complaint, I mean, while they yeah while they used Bible quotes and promises of blessing to sell the coin, the couple pocketed 1.3 million and spent the money on a Range Rover, home renovations, vacations, luxury handbags.
00:33:27
Speaker
Always luxury handbags come up a lot. And I find that to be the dumbest form of and financial spent whatever just spending on something useless um and cosmetic dentistry oh man they must had some fucked up teeth they both got those like like ah page eraser white oh dude there's a picture of eli and he's smiling in his teeth i mean
00:33:58
Speaker
His teeth are glowing. Those Mr. Wilson chiclets. Caitlin did not smile. She has her mouth just kind of a straight line in this picture. She's not showing off her teeth.
00:34:08
Speaker
I think she hoped that maybe if nobody saw her teeth, they wouldn't make her repay people for those as well. She spent her veneer budget on a you know Louis Vuitton bag.
00:34:19
Speaker
yeah so yeah good that's you know they yeah they took 1.3 and restitution requires them to pay back 3.4 so go fuck yourself regalados you got what was yours you got your just fucking desserts Yep.
00:34:36
Speaker
Yeah. What I'll tell you what, dude, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, some of those brands, those are like bug lights for pastors who steal. They love them. They all every story that we cover about like a pastor that's made off with a bunch of money or got it from, you know, nefarious means.
00:34:55
Speaker
That is a huge portion of what they spend it on is just like designer clothing. Yeah. and It's dumbest Which is like the most... And the most obvious way to know that you're... Because most people's clothing budget is like a percentage of their income. You know what I mean?
00:35:10
Speaker
Like when I go out and bike, like yeah I bet you could factor that into a like a pretty... well like grounded number like you could come up with a ah metric right on like how much people make versus how much they spend on clothes probably could come up with some good math on that but like i know i haven't bought a pair of pants in two years.
00:35:34
Speaker
I need to. I wear one pair of jeans at this point. um I have a three pairs of shorts and about four pairs of work pants. that's my That's my life.
00:35:46
Speaker
I need more. I'm getting tired of people realizing that I look like I live in poverty when I go to work. I don't love that I always wear the same things, but Some extra, some more shirts. Yeah. I'm better off in the winter. Cause you know, you can layer up, um, those winter clothes last longer too, right? Like you wear that sweater a lot less than you wear that t-shirt.
00:36:09
Speaker
So anyway, you, you strike me as you would, you'd wear the same polo shirt for 16 years, but then you will buy a novelty t-shirt.
00:36:22
Speaker
Yes. Um, yeah I'm more likely to spend money on a t-shirt that makes me go, i need, I need people to know that this is my personality. Then I am to like, but a lot of my work clothes, my mother-in-law gets me for Christmas. Um, I think she looks at me and goes, he looks like shit.
00:36:42
Speaker
Like he could probably use something. Um, yeah. But anyway, ah yeah, I think when you think of like, so when they're like, show as soon as a pastor or whatever starts showing up in like really expensive clothes, you go, I think we're, everyone in a congregation should go, I think we're paying this guy too much.
00:37:03
Speaker
If your clothes are nicer than the nicest clothes of another guy who's at that church, then youre done you you you calculated that wrong and you need to like hold back some of that tithe.
00:37:14
Speaker
Now, if you're convicted about the 10%, give like 5% to the church, 4%, 6% to something else, you know, just spread it around a little bit. Stop funding. As soon as these guys are wearing like $800 pants and having $2,500 bags. It's like, come on.
00:37:33
Speaker
His Bible case has little boo-boo hanging from it. Yeah.
00:37:39
Speaker
That's a good look. Joel O'Keefe probably got one.
00:37:45
Speaker
um I got one more. I actually technically have two more, but one's a little less interesting. This one's not actually it at face value. It was not interesting. Um, but then I started thinking about it and ah had some questions. So, uh, priest, ah priest arrested for starting a forest fire and Marco Pulu, Pulo, Marco, Marco Polo, maybe even, I don't know.
00:38:09
Speaker
Um, um, 58-year-old priest was arrested Wednesday for allegedly setting a fire to a forested area in Markupulu, Eastern Attica. Where is that?
00:38:21
Speaker
Is that California? I don't know. um Attica. I believe this was in the U.S. Anyway, security cameras reportedly captured the man leaving his car and walking into the wooded area shortly before the blaze began.
00:38:36
Speaker
The priest told police he had stopped on his way back from Himolia Beach to destroy some church documents by burning them. The fire spread to the surrounding vegetation but was quickly contained. He was fined $1,687.
00:38:50
Speaker
one thousand six hundred eighty s oh this is europe he was fine in in greece okay he was fined one thousand six hundred eighty seven dollars and fifty eighty seven 0.50 euros and remains in custody ahead of court appearance on Thursday.
00:39:08
Speaker
End of the article. What the fuck kind of church documents do you feel like you have to burn on your way home from work? So that's what he was doing? He was burning church documents and set the forest on fire? That's his statement.
00:39:20
Speaker
um Maybe he was burnt. I don't know. It could have been anything, but he was leaving church and he burned church documents. Now, I understand that there are certain documents that you might want to burn. Maybe if you had a young boy wrapped in documents.
00:39:36
Speaker
Yeah. ah You need a hot fire to get rid of a body. so It's, ah i that I don't know. You know, you think of, ah he's a priest, so he's Catholic. And you go are these ah are these, you know, transfer documents? Are they...
00:39:57
Speaker
It instantly like ah allegation documents. Are they? What could it be? A pastor doing something mysterious and setting ah a forest on fire is a lot less creepy than a priest doing that.
00:40:11
Speaker
There's something about a priest where you're like, i don't know, maybe there was vampires. Who knows? Yeah. I don't know. there I just, short story, i don't know if I'll follow it.
00:40:23
Speaker
um Maybe more will come out, but there's something. i just think that automatically, if you're a priest burning church documents, there should be something in the law that says, we just know you're guilty of something that requires 10 years behind bars. but just flat like It's just a mandatory minimum. if you're If you're a priest burning church documents in the middle of a forest on your way home from work, it's a mandatory minimum of 10 years.
00:40:47
Speaker
I support that idea.
00:40:52
Speaker
I have one more, but boop I'll just give you the the details, the the quick deets, and we can move on to something else. I just thought it was cute. um It was a pastor accused of... ah taking out a murder contract on a man who was dating his daughter because he didn't like him.
00:41:13
Speaker
That's all. There's no, there's really no more meat to that. He did pay ah decent chunk of change for it. Um, the actual shooter has not been arrested. They believe he is, he fled to Mexico.
00:41:30
Speaker
Um, and the man who was shot was, drove his own ass to the hospital. So that's, wow. So this actually happened. This wasn't like a lambiesis thing.
00:41:42
Speaker
Yeah. They, uh, this guy hired, he worked with someone else to hire a guy, There was a couple of meetings and they ended up like the guy cracked after they, um because they got a warrant for all like their phone GPS locations, right?
00:41:57
Speaker
So then they're like, as soon as they presented him with that information, he cracked and said, oh, he just hired the guy to scare the the the boyfriend and he went rogue and shot him. Like that was his, that's what he's trying to defend. clever defense.
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah, but it's just... it The defense holds a little bit less weight when you pay somebody. i think it was – I'm trying to scroll through and find it.
00:42:24
Speaker
um I want to say it was around $40,000, $46,000, something like that. oh it was forty thirty nine thousand ah core The detectives confirmed Paseas allegedly had sought out and hired Garcia to perpetrate the contract killing, paying him in three installments totaling $39,500. Why not rda why and round contract killer and you're going,
00:42:55
Speaker
that's gonna be thirty nine five Yeah, that's weird. it's Just say 40, dude. Doesn't it seem like that's kind of a lot? I feel like i like it feels less. I feel like it doesn't sound like a lot. I feel like a hired murder is at least like 80 to 100 K. I thought she could hire somebody to murder someone for like like four grand and it used Corolla or something.
00:43:18
Speaker
Yeah, nobody could. I mean, this guy clearly wasn't great. Well, the problem is they didn't kill him, you know, so whoops. But I guess they like the the shooter drove up next to the guy and just pop popped him from the window.
00:43:34
Speaker
So, yeah, things aren't going good for Mr. Paseus, but... ah His daughter, ah allegedly other people in the family said that, yeah, her boyfriend's kind of controlling.
00:43:45
Speaker
ah Nobody liked that she was with him. No allegations of abuse. ah Sometimes that does go hand in hand with controlling. That can be a form of abuse, emotional even. But um this guy just went a step further than the average father and hired a contract killer to wipe his ass out.
00:44:05
Speaker
Boy. That is extreme. He's probably one of those dads that ah when the daughter takes prom pictures, there's one of him in the background with a shotgun.
00:44:17
Speaker
Oh, yeah. The funniest gag. he um The funniest dad gag. when When she brings guys over the first time, he plays like cool country music and he sits there like polishing his gun. You know those TikTok videos of... like country bumpkin families mouthing the lyrics to the country songs that they play in the background.
00:44:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah. It's usually a mother and their son, and they have like 40% of their teeth, and most of the their teeth aren't white, and they're just like...
00:44:52
Speaker
yeah It's always some tedious, like overdrawn ballad type thing of like, These are my family, these are my friends.
00:45:03
Speaker
yeah yeah There's one particular song that gets all the rednecks to use it for that sort of thing. The mom's probably wearing a muumuu. Yeah, there's a lot of muumuu's in those videos for sure. Interesting. Interesting.
00:45:19
Speaker
Well, fun stuff. I love it. It was nice to if find the needles in the haystack of pastors being arrested for CP. Yeah, excellent detective work.
00:45:32
Speaker
So, we return to the Book of Mormon for a little more from Mosiah. Yeah.
The Book of Mormon: King Noah's Sinful Reign
00:45:41
Speaker
Where are they? Oziah. Oziah. I like that. That's a good name, actually.
00:45:45
Speaker
Oziah is kind of a cool name. i would Had you said that to me prior to the birth of my child, i would have floated it by my wife. Instead of naming him Adolf? I know. What a mistake, dude. I didn't realize how mad people would get. you know this woke This woke atmosphere, people are so touchy.
00:46:04
Speaker
Yeah, there's more than one Adolf. My son's number three. and i mean, pride it's like Lucifer, right? Oh, it gets such a bad rap. That was a great name. God picked it out. God fucking picked that name out and we're going to shit on it. It's stupid.
00:46:18
Speaker
So that's definitely like a Fox news.com story is like someone somewhere names their kid Lucifer. Somehow it's national news. Yeah. Look at the extent of the evil tainting this baby with a name.
00:46:37
Speaker
So in the last, ah in chapter 10 of Messiah, we we kind of went through some of the the key moments of the reign of Zenith, who is a a good and godly king.
00:46:51
Speaker
And at the end of the book, he did the typical like Book of Mormon thing where he's just like, And now I am old and I die and I hand my kingdom off to my sons.
00:47:03
Speaker
And so we're at the chapter. I may not have written down everything, but I wrote down the things you need to know. Yeah. And now I will write no more because I don't have to and i But I will continue to write about how I don't have anything to write.
00:47:21
Speaker
For the sake of meeting my word count, I will continue to write about what I do not need to, but I will write what I do not need to. ah there's a great verse in here. that's It's the most redundant, yeah ridiculous phrasing.
00:47:34
Speaker
So ah chapter 11, we see kind of an interesting turn in the ah in the story of the you know the kingdom of the Nephites. So starting off, it says, and now it came to pass that Zenith conferred the kingdom upon Noah, one of his sons.
00:47:53
Speaker
Therefore, Noah began to reign in his stead, and he did not walk in the ways of his father. Strong biblical name, though. Yeah. I imagine that that was unexpected.
00:48:05
Speaker
His walk. He didn't do like a Mad Lib of three other traditional biblical names to to come up with one like Messiah. This Noah may not have gotten drunk and cursed his children for seeing his shrivel old man dick.
00:48:22
Speaker
Curse you, you saw my balls.
00:48:27
Speaker
Shame. Curse. I curse your grandchildren.
00:48:32
Speaker
ah For behold, he did not keep the commandments of God, but he did walk after the desires of his own heart. And he had many wives and concubines, and he did cause his people to commit sin and do that which was abominable in the sight of the Lord.
00:48:48
Speaker
Yea, and they did commit whoredoms and all manner of wickedness. There's so much pretext built in that they committed sin. I don't think that, like, I'm not sure, like, what an undefined term, right?
00:49:03
Speaker
Whoredoms? No, whoredoms is fine. ah Don't do whoredoms. But he's like, and they committed sins. And you're like, ah what is that? What does that mean? Like, there's just the the amount that they put zero effort into defining any of their terms in this book.
00:49:21
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's like, okay so the the new king took multiple wives. All right. Get it. That's against the rules. yeah Is it? Because it's like never actually been condemned throughout the entire scripture. Yeah.
00:49:37
Speaker
Well, that's a point that the Mormons would probably stand behind. I know, which is so funny. They're like, he took multiple wives. It's not cool when they do it, but when we do it, it's fine.
00:49:48
Speaker
it's it's mostly it's pretty much It's mostly the concubines that are a problem because you know it it defies the sanctity of marriage. Right. they So the problem is they didn't marry all their concubines. Had they wed them, it would have been cool.
00:50:03
Speaker
Yeah. Life is zero. There is zero difference between the life of a a um wife in the Nephite community and a concubine. So their hang up is premarital sex.
00:50:15
Speaker
I guess so. Yeah. And because he committed premarital sex, the entire kingdom goes down the toilet. Yeah, that's a bummer. they he lead He led them into whoredoms.
00:50:29
Speaker
Into whoredoms. I can't wait to find a way to weasel the word whoredom into a sentence.
00:50:37
Speaker
Yeah, I think if you actually went back to the original Hebrew, this is translated sluttery. Kingdom of whores. Sluttery.
00:50:49
Speaker
And he laid a tax of one-fifth part of all they possessed. Now you may ask, what does that mean? One-fifth part of all they possessed? What could that possibly mean?
00:51:00
Speaker
a fifth part of their gold and of their silver. And a fifth part of their ziph. And they're they're copper. They're zif? What is zif? Is that like a vape? There's a note in here. Sounds like a vape company.
00:51:12
Speaker
It says Hebrew related words, adjective, shining, verb, to overlay or plate with metal. So neither of those are definitions of a noun, which is what it's being used as in this. Yeah.
00:51:27
Speaker
Can i hit your zif? Yeah. It does sound like ah like a CBD product of some sort. ah Fifth part of their Zip and of their copper and of their brass and of their iron and a fifth part of their fatlings and also a fifth part of all their grain.
00:51:47
Speaker
Dude, my grain, my you took my grain, you took my copper and now you want to touch my fatling? My fatlings. Get out. so i ah set the um Is that the sea team of concubines?
00:52:07
Speaker
Thou shalt not commit whoredoms with their fatlings.
00:52:13
Speaker
Unless thou hast married them, the rest of your wives. ah Yeah, I guess that must mean... It's cheap. Decline my petition when I ask you to edit that joke out later.
00:52:26
Speaker
Okay, I will do.
00:52:31
Speaker
And all this did he take to support himself and his wives and his concubines and also his priests and their wives and their concubines. Thus, he had changed the affairs of the kingdom.
00:52:44
Speaker
So, so far, what we know is that he likes the ladies and he put a 20% tax on people. I think that's called a tariff.
00:52:56
Speaker
a tariff Yes, he tariffed them 20%. And if they complained, it'll be 500%.
00:53:04
Speaker
That's how you run trade policy.
00:53:07
Speaker
We're trying to encourage long-term investments in the kingdom of Nephi, okay? 500% tariffs!
00:53:15
Speaker
Don't ask how it makes sense. For he put down all the priests that had been consecrated by his father and consecrated new ones in their stead, such as were lifted up in the pride of their hearts.
00:53:28
Speaker
So he kind of brought in his squad of yes men, I guess. e Why does all of this sound so familiar?
00:53:38
Speaker
why is Why is the Book of Mormon more relevant the Bible right now? It does have some real parallels in here. All sorts of different things, doesn't it? The one last week was just like, oh my God, this is is the Israel God. This is our life. Yea, yea, and thus they were supported in their laziness and in their idolatry and in their whoredoms by the taxes which King Noah had put upon his people.
00:54:06
Speaker
Thus did the people labor exceedingly to support iniquity. And that, you know, that really ticks me off, bro. If there's one universal problem, like something that throughout history is universally really ramped people up.
00:54:23
Speaker
It's taxes. I mean, you have the new Zacchaeus. Oh, no one liked that bitch because he was a fucking tax collector. Like nobody likes those Especially when your tax dollars, the fatling they took from you is going to support laziness and whoredoms. right Probably funding abortions with the satlings.
00:54:44
Speaker
Probably funding de DEI woke research. Honestly, probably going to immigrants without social security numbers. probably I mean...
00:54:56
Speaker
Gay propaganda!
00:55:02
Speaker
That's what's going on here. is He was running a gay propaganda ring. Ooh. Supported by fatling tax.
00:55:12
Speaker
Yeah. And they also became idolatrous because they were deceived by the vain and flattering words of the king and priests, for they did speak flattering things unto them.
00:55:23
Speaker
And it came to pass that King Noah built many elegant and spacious buildings, but Perhaps a ballroom on the edge of his palace. Perhaps an office where they replaced everything with gold-plated tackiness. Yeah.
00:55:38
Speaker
Or maybe they put up all the former kings, ah with the exception of the one before the current one, and they just put a little scribble there instead. Yeah, actually, okay. He ornamented them with fine work of wood and of all manner of precious things, of gold and of silver and of iron and of brass and of ziff and of copper.
00:56:00
Speaker
So we got a pretty good inventory list of where all the the coppers and ziffs and stuff came. He didn't decorate with fatlings, though, which is confusing. Yeah, disappointing even.
00:56:11
Speaker
And he also built him a spacious palace and a throne in the midst thereof, all of which was of fine wood and was ornamented with gold and silver and with precious things.
00:56:23
Speaker
And he also caused that his workmen should work all manner of fine work within the walls of the temple of fine wood and of copper and of brass. And the seats, which were set apart for the high priests, which were above all the other seats, he did ornament with pure gold.
00:56:39
Speaker
And he caused a breastwork to be built before them that they might rest their bodies and their arms upon while they should speak lying well they should speak lying and vain words to his people.
00:56:51
Speaker
So, yeah, he ah he liked construction projects. What is a breastwork? Is that like a table? ah Implants, perhaps? They're implants that you can also use as an ottoman.
00:57:05
Speaker
They're great for putting your feet on, but you shouldn't put drinks on them without a coaster.
00:57:13
Speaker
Breastwork. It's not practical. I was curious. The word also shows up quite a bit. Come on, Chad GPT. You failed me.
00:57:25
Speaker
All right. I was trying to find the most that the top 10 most common single words and phrases used in um the Book of Mormon.
00:57:37
Speaker
but And I thought um it didn't didn't really delineate this way I want to, but I did. Excuse me, I do have the top 10 most common phrases. um Obviously, it came to pass, and it came to pass, the Lord God in the name of the house of Israel, the commandments of God, according to the word, and now it came, the spirit of the Lord, the words of Christ.
00:57:58
Speaker
I thought also might make the cut. um That's why I looked it up because I feel like also adjoins ah phrases ah quite frequently, but it doesn't show up either. Top 10 most common single words was Lord, God, Cain, pass, people, land, behold, Nephi, children, and father. But That was less um exciting than I expected it to be. So I apologize for wasting everybody's time with that.
00:58:24
Speaker
You know what I just wonder, I just thought of is i wonder if there's any splinter factions in Israel that are like ah expediently adopting Mormon doctrine so that they can claim like Missouri for the greater Israel project.
00:58:42
Speaker
Yeah. Why do they have to claim Missouri when Netanyahu already has the entire United States? Yeah, that's true. yeah Our supreme potentate is just like throating his balls all day long.
00:58:59
Speaker
But again, we might have planned it. that We threw that idea out into the ether now. Let's see if ah if there's a legislation introduced like, we should give Illinois to Israel.
00:59:09
Speaker
Yeah. The fun part is ah that we will, I mean, but within the next like, you know, 30 to 60 days, ah this kind of speech will put us on a terrorist watch list.
00:59:24
Speaker
yeah I hope, ah i mean, i I know we live a long ways apart, but I hope we get to serve in the same internment camp. That'd be nice. Or at least if if it comes to it, the same paramilitary group, maybe.
00:59:39
Speaker
Yeah, that's preferable. If we have to die, ah you know, in a matter of forced service, like I want to do it on the front line where I can at least like shoot drones down with a shotgun or something like that.
00:59:52
Speaker
Yeah. I saw a fun little video, not to take this detour, but I will for just a moment, about how like when you think of the amount of money the United States, like i mean, our military budget's exorbitant, but like it's becoming clearer and clearer that the amount of money we spend on our military isn't kind it's diminishing returns right then you look at these other countries that are like fending off other countries that have significant military budgets because they just bought like you know 2050 drones on amazon and just strap a bunch of napalm bombs to them or some shit like that like there are so many good ways to like in cheap ways to like
01:00:34
Speaker
we invest so much money. Like a lot of the technology that we have was just like, yeah, that was like developed for the military 20 years ago. And now everyone just has access to it and shit like that. So don't know. It's funny to think about. This is my ongoing argument is that I think if, if and when they bluff our way into an actual shooting war with a, with a, a mainline country that has a real military, you know, like, uh,
01:01:03
Speaker
I think we're going to find that we haven't exactly been getting much out of our investments over the years. It's concerning. It's siphoned off by defense contractors and no bid contracts. And in actuality, like we're we're way behind in terms of military technology and readiness.
01:01:20
Speaker
Hopefully we don't have to test that theory. I saw this cool little thing about China, how they developed a suit for firefighters that can withstand.
01:01:31
Speaker
I forget it was. It was in Celsius, so it became immediately not registerable to me. but Yeah. it was like Might as well say furlongs. It was like a thousand or cubits, some dumb shit like that.
01:01:45
Speaker
It was like a thousand degrees Celsius. And the suit looked cool as shit. If you showed me that suit and said you could only wear this if you're a firefighter, I would change careers.
01:01:57
Speaker
it like a mech suit? it Yeah, dude. It looks... I mean, it's clothy. like it's It looks like it's bendy, but it kind of lit up in cool places. i don't know, man. it look It looked dope as shit.
01:02:08
Speaker
It looked like a futuristic like soldier. Just ready to drop it from an airship into battle. It was awesome. Like Fallout vault armor or whatever? Yeah.
01:02:19
Speaker
Oh, God. So cool. China. It's so cool. China... they They might exploit a lot of people to get their technology, but... You know, we exploit a lot of people for no good reason and at least get something out of it like China does.
01:02:34
Speaker
They don't get near as many dead bodies in foreign countries as we do. that. that's because they bury them deeper and they investigate less. But so don't waste your time with silly investigations is my point.
01:02:47
Speaker
Yeah. And it came to pass that he built a tower near the temple, yea, a very high tower, even so high that he could stand upon the top thereof and overlook the land of Shalom, and also the land of Shemlon, which was possessed by the Lamanites, and he could even look over all the land round about.
01:03:08
Speaker
And it came to pass that he caused many buildings to be built in the land, Shalom. And he caused Shalom a great tower to be built on the hill north of the land of Shalom, which had been a resort for the children of Nephi at the time they fled out of the land. And thus he did do with the riches which he obtained by the taxation of his people.
01:03:31
Speaker
is That is like 16 paragraphs to say like he, he undertook many needless construction projects. Hmm. I, that God dude, stop, stop saying things that sound too familiar.
01:03:46
Speaker
It came to pass that he placed his heart upon his riches and he spent in his time in riotous living with his wives and his concubines. And so did all also his priests spend their time with harlots.
01:04:00
Speaker
It's really like other than like frivolous spending, sexual immorality is like the only complaint here about this guy. so Yeah. that's it He throws money around and he likes to have sex with all sorts of people.
01:04:17
Speaker
And it's speaking the the the Speaking of this high tower and how far he could, how far can the human eye see? It's like a few miles, right? Even from like, no, it's pretty far. If you're on a mountain, you can see pretty far.
01:04:31
Speaker
Yeah. How many kingdoms can a human eye see though? I don't know, not that many. I mean, even like if you're in an airplane looking out the window, like you can only see you see like three counties or something like that. you know Yeah.
01:04:45
Speaker
It's hard to imagine that this is scientifically accurate based on our- think that this is realistic? Is that what you're saying? It feels like a little bit of hyperbole.
01:04:57
Speaker
Well, that's coming from a man who engages in riotous living. and So, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. All of my frivolous spending on novelty novelty t-shirts.
01:05:12
Speaker
Oh, here's another sin. And it came to pass that he planted vineyards roundabout in the land, and he built wine presses and made wine in abundance, and therefore he became a wine bibber and also his people.
01:05:26
Speaker
Another term I've never heard sniffed, never heard wine bibber, but he was one. And it came to pass that the Lamanites began to come in upon his people, upon small numbers, and to slay them in their fields, and while they were tending their flocks.
01:05:42
Speaker
And King Noah sent guards round about the land to keep them off, but he did not send a sufficient number, and the Lamanites came upon them and killed them. and the only bit The only sin we're missing is ah them growing coffee beans, I think.
01:05:59
Speaker
Maybe it's in here somewhere. Keep eye I'll complete the bingo sheet. I drove many and drove many of their flocks out of the land. Thus, the Lamanites began to destroy them and to exercise their hatred upon them.
01:06:13
Speaker
And it came to pass that King Noah sent his armies against them, and they were driven back, or they drove them back for a time. Therefore, they returned rejoicing in their spoil. And now, because of this great victory, there there were lifted they were lifted up in the pride of their hearts.
01:06:29
Speaker
They did say, and they did boast. Pride, another sin. Yeah. That's true. That'll get you good. They did boast in their own strength, saying that their 50 could stand against thousands of the Lamanites, and thus they did boast and did delight in the in blood and the shedding of the blood of their brethren, and this because of the wickedness of their king and priests.
01:06:52
Speaker
It's interesting that their concern is delighting in the bloodshed because there's so much bloodshed that is delighted in throughout this book up until now. They've been killing Lamanites left and right. Like that was the whole point of the last chapter was like Lamanites are evil.
01:07:09
Speaker
They teach their children to be evil. It's only a problem when the wrong person does it. I guess they were celebrating too close to the deaths of their countrymen. Maybe.
01:07:21
Speaker
going to never forget. e And it came to pass that there was a man among them whose name was, i don't know how to pronounce this word, but I'm going to say Abinadi.
01:07:32
Speaker
It's kind of cute. Ooh. Abinadi. And he went forth among them and began to prophesy, saying, Behold, thus saith the Lord, and thus hath he commanded me, saying, Go forth and say unto this people, Thus saith the Lord.
01:07:50
Speaker
It's so redundant. Woe be unto this people, for I have seen their abominations and their wickedness and their whoredoms. And except they repent, I will visit them in my anger.
01:08:06
Speaker
And except they repent and turn to the Lord their God, behold, I will deliver them into the hands of their enemies. Yea, and they shall be brought into bondage and they shall be afflicted by the hand of their enemies.
01:08:18
Speaker
God does like that form punishment.
01:08:22
Speaker
He does. He likes to use the people that he told you to kill to kill you. Yeah. When you don't when you don't do the killing just right, the punishment is you getting absolutely murdered by them.
01:08:35
Speaker
Yeah, he gets he gets real like Imperial British with it and he funds both sides. yeah
01:08:43
Speaker
And it shall come to pass that they shall know that I am the Lord their God and am a jealous God visiting the iniquities of my people. And it shall come to pass that except these people repent and turn unto the Lord their God, they shall be brought into bondage.
01:08:59
Speaker
And none shall deliver them, except it be the Lord, the Almighty God. Yea, and it shall come to pass that when they shall cry unto me, I will be slow to hear their cries. Yea, and I will suffer them that they may be smitten by their enemies.
01:09:15
Speaker
which is confusing because it's like, so if they do repent, he's like, he's setting the expectation that he's not listening. So you need to repent, but just know there's a, third there's like a three month delay on your repentance.
01:09:32
Speaker
Like I'm not going to be nice to you right away just because you said, sorry, I'm going to continue to let them kill your family. There's a repentance moment and then there's a restitution period. Yes, there's a thing in customer service. It's about you know you you you manage expectations.
01:09:50
Speaker
It's like, say, you bring your car in for an oil change. If I say, okay, that should take about 30 to 40 minutes. You're sitting in the waiting room, staring at your watch. And the minute it hits 30 minutes, you're at my desk going, hey, where's my car?
01:10:04
Speaker
guess what? We haven't touched it yet. We're not going to even look at it for two hours. I just said words to you and now you you have an expectation that I can't fulfill. Yeah, you are now a hostage of Jiffy Lube.
01:10:17
Speaker
Yeah. So when you come up and say you need an oil change, I say, okay, that'll be done next week. done next week And I can give you a ride home, but our shuttle's about two hours out.
01:10:30
Speaker
See, now your expectations are abysmal. So when I get your oil change done poorly and and with a ah bad degree of detail. What's poorly? How do you poorly do an oil change? Just spill it everywhere? Get only 30% of it in there?
01:10:45
Speaker
Yeah, you like don't fill it to the right level. you don't top off the tires. So your light comes on. I leave a big greasy like butt print in your seat. Yep. I mess with your radio stations and turn the volume all the way up. So you get in there, it just blows your eardrums out.
01:11:03
Speaker
That is something about that is absolutely hilarious to me. I leave a fo of fish in the backseat.
01:11:16
Speaker
So that's God. That's and see, that's a heavenly concept, right? God is managing expectations here. And and he's putting the onus on you. He's like, because you were naughty, I could answer your prayers.
01:11:29
Speaker
But I might not. You need to repent. But I'm not saying that that's going to make anything change for you. ah We'll see how I feel in the moment.
01:11:40
Speaker
But just know forgiveness takes time. Forgiveness takes time. Yeah. And i I mean, I think if there's anything that if there are any parallels between the Book of Mormon and in the Bible itself, it's that forgiveness takes time.
01:11:54
Speaker
hmm.
01:11:56
Speaker
um And now it came to pass that when Abinadi had spoken these words unto them, they were wroth with him and sought to take away his life. But the Lord delivered him out of their hands.
01:12:08
Speaker
Now when King Noah heard had heard of the words which Abinadi had spoken unto the people, he was also wroth. And he said, Who is Abinadi, that I and my people should be judged of him?
01:12:21
Speaker
And who is the Lord that shall bring upon my people such great affliction? I command you to bring Abinadi hither that I may slay him. For he has said these things that he might stir up my people to anger one with another and raise contentions among my people.
01:12:37
Speaker
Therefore I will slay him. Oh, he doesn't believe in free speech. He doesn't know. He definitely wants to cover up his, his misdeeds. Um, um,
01:12:53
Speaker
Yeah, and it's interesting, ah you know, to be like, yeah, who is this stupid like prophet? Like, why do we care who he is? Why does he get to judge us? And one thing they like, that's one thing. But in like, who is this God that judges my people?
01:13:09
Speaker
Yeah. That's a little brazen. The arrogance, honestly, that arrogance, that's the downfall of humanity. That gets you smote. there's There's a lot here, man.
01:13:19
Speaker
This may not be true, but it's true. Yeah, very deep stuff. A lot to ponder. Now the eyes of the people were blinded. Therefore, they hardened their hearts against the words of Abinadi, and they sought from that time forward to take him.
01:13:37
Speaker
And King Noah hardened his heart against the word of the Lord, and he did not repent of his evil doings. So we are we are leaving King Noah and the Nephites in a very precarious position.
01:13:52
Speaker
It is interesting that like one of his cardinal sins is like taxing people and wasting the money. And yet it sounds like the kingdom is pretty uniformly behind him on everything.
01:14:03
Speaker
Yeah, it's ah it's it's sad. Well, I mean, it's sad. Obviously, it's sad, but it's just it makes me feel like I have never given the truth of Mormonism enough thought.
01:14:20
Speaker
I didn't expect, to but I mean, but how far are we into this now? I didn't expect, like, you know when people are like, oh have you, like, oh, you don't believe, you're not a Christian? Have you read the whole Bible?
01:14:31
Speaker
And you go, that's insane. Why would I read it, you know, all those thin ass pages just to decide if I think this is true not? you have an idea of what is going into it. You don't.
01:14:42
Speaker
You actually have to read every holy book from cover to cover to decide whether or not it matters to you. Or you think it's true. And I am pretty close to converting to Mormonism.
01:14:56
Speaker
Now, I would like to find a more liberal sect of it ah because I do like to drink both alcohol and caffeine. So do a lot of Mormons. Yes. just have to be sneaky about it.
01:15:09
Speaker
I don't want to be sneaky. You have to treat drinking. Well, you can't be a real Mormon then. yeah um You have a lie to be a real Mormon. You have to treat drink. If you're a Mormon, you have to drink drinking alcohol or soda in the same way that like your parents treat watching Game of Thrones.
01:15:28
Speaker
Yeah. Or I was thinking of like ah smoking, right? Like we were like, oh, I quit. It's like that. i don't know how many years my grandma lied about quitting smoking. Yeah. That is so common. My wife's grandmother lied about it too. And then like they'd go over her house and it would smell like cigarettes or whatever.
01:15:49
Speaker
And she has this story of like her lighting up a sick, she was in the backseat of the car they were driving or somewhere they're at a gas station, getting gas. um They go, I all go into the convenience store and they see her like taking that last drag and flicking the cigarette out the window at the gas station. Yeah.
01:16:08
Speaker
And then acting like nothing happened, like you couldn't smell that shit in the car because you cracked a window in the backseat. My mom one time passed my grandma on the road and she was like, had the windows down and she was smoking in the car, which my grandpa would have freaked out about.
01:16:26
Speaker
Yeah. You know, and she like asked her about it and she acted like she got caught, like committing murder or something like that, you know? Dude, I love it. The idea of older people hiding that they smoke is the funniest thing ever.
01:16:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's a that's quite a passage. I think, um you know, there's all sorts of... valid criticisms of the Bible for sure. Yeah, but of course.
01:16:55
Speaker
Like I said, a bunch of times, like having read it a bunch for this podcast, I've been like pleasantly surprised at how much is there.
01:17:07
Speaker
Like there is a lot to, to, to ponder and to to think about and a lot of interesting little, you know, rabbit trails and stuff like that, that you can,
01:17:18
Speaker
You can pull out of the Bible when you don't have to just think of it as like memorizing every word of absolute truth. Right. You know, the Book of Mormon is not that way.
01:17:30
Speaker
No, it's it's silly. There's literally nothing here. Like this whole story is a new king rule, new king bad. He have many wives commit whoredoms, new king unrepentant.
01:17:44
Speaker
And that was basically it There's like nothing, there's not even any like poetic retorts to what he's doing. It's just like, you know, oh, you treat my, you know, you abandoned God and now he will judge you. And I'm not listening if you say sorry.
01:18:01
Speaker
i it It has the feel of like, of a child who's writing a book trying to make it believable. Um, so I just looked up when, how old Joseph Smith was when he wrote the book of Mormon and he was 24 years old and it was published in nine, uh, 1830, which I don't know what the school system was like at that time, but maybe he had the education equivalent of a 12 year old.
01:18:31
Speaker
I don't know. it
01:18:35
Speaker
He's obviously like a very self-important attention seeker. you know, to do the things that he did. Like he clearly thought the world revolved around him, that he was, you know, he was eternally important.
01:18:48
Speaker
I, I feel like i'm starting to envision him as he's like a, a 19th century machine gun Kelly. Yeah.
01:18:59
Speaker
Yeah. I think there's a really good chance that in his heart, he knew he was totally worthless and that nobody liked him. And he had to do something about that.
01:19:13
Speaker
I think that like when you start writing shit like this and you sell it, like you commit your life to it, you go, I've never, I don't think, I don't think it's impossible to encounter a more deeply insecure human than someone who tries to start a religious movement.
01:19:31
Speaker
Yeah, I'd say that's fair. i mean, there's plenty of failed ones where that was the case. I'm not putting Jesus in that category because I think the interesting thing about Jesus, from what we can tell from the third-hand accounts that we have of him, is that ice they they didn't...
01:19:50
Speaker
they didn't really blow him up as a guy who really was attempting to start a religion. He was just like, no, this dude's a Jew and he's just trying to do Jewishness, to be Jewish different.
01:20:02
Speaker
He's trying to just do different Jewing and it didn't go well for him. um But you know, i like that. I like the, like even the idea of the, the idea that Christianity started out of Judaism like that is interesting um because of like Jesus, like so much. It was just like, yeah, I'm just, I'm a Jewish guy doing my thing. And i think some of the things you think are bullshit and I'm going to, I'm going to call bullshit on that.
01:20:32
Speaker
um But like, there's no, like you but It's not the same as like, you know, Muhammad being like, I got a word from the Lord.
01:20:43
Speaker
Of course, Jesus had a word from the Lord, but it was more just like, you guys don't really know. You guys kind of missed the point and opened it up. I feel like a lot of other religions were like,
01:20:55
Speaker
I'm going to I'm going to shut this thing down and like tighten the circle and make you follow these things in order to like be part of it. I think that's what's super annoying about the development of Christianity is how it turned into that.
01:21:09
Speaker
um I know what we have of what's written about Jesus is there's a lot of like rhetorical goals for the authors and trying to like rebrand Jesus in a way that worked for them and their message, whether it's like to the Jews or the Gentiles or whatever the fuck, but it's just, don't know. There's enough there where you go, this guy seemed like he was trying to be like, let's, ah we're going to open this shit up a bit. And you guys at the top are being fucking assholes about everything.
01:21:40
Speaker
And I like that. I like, I feel like that work, like that's so interesting. And that's what makes Jesus an interesting character versus like all all these other, like any other religion that really like springs up.
01:21:54
Speaker
That's like rooted in Abrahamic. The Abrahamic faith is like, you can tell these big stories, but at the end of it, you're like, and now you have to do these things. And this is actually, we're going to, we're going like,
01:22:06
Speaker
just kind of like narrow the requirements in a bit. And then that's out of, out of all of human history and everything that there is about humans lived experience, it's actually fits into this little box.
01:22:19
Speaker
And this box is what is the right box and it's the God box. And it just is. So it feels so pedantic. Yeah. That's it. There's not much of interest there.
01:22:32
Speaker
Yeah. And that means Christianity is that the Christianity is a pedantic religion as a whole, um which is I was thinking, I actually was thinking today about my shift over the years.
01:22:45
Speaker
And i don't, I don't know, whatever. I don't need to get into it, I guess. But I just, i it it, I thought about that today was just like,
01:22:57
Speaker
how I've moved in the past five years doing this thing, um, in, in kind of processing it, here um and how even in my own like in my own life like there anyone could listen to this and be like oh i have a decent idea of how sam's changed over the years and his views and understanding of this thing but most of the people in my life would not want to listen to this um for obvious reasons uh and they but like they
01:23:32
Speaker
And I still feel like when I'm around them, there's that understanding of me from you know five years ago whatever, six, seven, eight years ago, whatever. And um it and know it's funny going through, like thinking about like the Book of Mormon, and even just doing like these like pastors arrested and and the the conversations we have from that. like Anything that we like that we're doing here, I'm just like,
01:23:56
Speaker
It's, don't know. i I guess I'm rabbit trailing. I'm losing my train of thought even, but. I guess i think a good ah ah good exercise for examining that transition is to think, okay, think about this.
01:24:10
Speaker
what What words, then versus now, would you scrawl on your ammunition? that's it That's food for thought. I wish I could. i you know i wish I had an immediate answer because that would tell you.
01:24:24
Speaker
I think the people who do have an immediate answer are really like locked. it I'd say maybe they're overly locked into a definition of themselves. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's hard to think of yeah like the juxtaposition of like long-term themes in your life.
Humorous Dislikes and Cultural References
01:24:40
Speaker
like you know Maybe mine says, I hate Diane Keaton.
01:24:45
Speaker
Mm. Okay. Like that's like, that's a tattooable, you know, linchpin in my life. Like that one's, that one's never going to expire. It's always going to be important to me. The fact that I hate Diane Keaton.
01:24:57
Speaker
Right. Mine would be like, never should have canceled King of the Hill. That would be a good, yes, that works for you. That would be a good one. Uh, no, you got me, you got me, you know, you took, I was thinking about this too, too politically, you know?
01:25:13
Speaker
Um, Yeah, that's... I might just die with that one, actually. and I might just go out with never should have canceled King of the Hill. um
01:25:25
Speaker
So that's the bullet that you leave in the gun, not the one that you fire. um Yeah, I mean, like I could fire it and they could just find the shell casing. I'd be sure to leave the gun next to the shell casing with a cloth with my DNA on it next to it, like wrapped around it.
01:25:42
Speaker
the The like... Writing in something like from a meme 10 years ago is so ridiculous that it's hard to... like It's so hard to understand like why you would choose something like that. It's I like it i guess if If it was happening in 2035, following the same principle, you could be like, but this wasn't on your bingo card.
01:26:07
Speaker
Oh, my God. but if No, if this was – I'm thinking of the – if it was in 2035, it might be like – I might just write first comment on my casing.
01:26:25
Speaker
That's so annoying. or mormon Or like the, you agree with my whatever statement insert here, line, line, line, less than sign, and then a heart button.
01:26:39
Speaker
We're sick of this button with an arrow pointing towards the bullet. Yeah. yeah That's the one I was going for. It's just like, oh God. Skibbity toilet.
01:26:51
Speaker
Yeah.
01:26:55
Speaker
Oh my God. It's giving angst.
01:27:01
Speaker
Anyways, thank you folks for listening to the show. i hope you enjoy the rest of your week and I hope you finish out your weekend with some wonderful white reggae.
01:27:13
Speaker
So thank you good night.